The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time - Stages 1-6 (Complete)

EVERYWHERE AT THE END OF TIME - Stages 1-6 (COMPLETE)
thecaretaker.bandcamp.com/alb...
Everywhere at the end of time' was a series exploring dementia,
its advancement and its totality.
Audio remembered, disfigured and forgotten by The Caretaker.
Artwork on all stages by Ivan Seal.
Mastering on all stages by Lupo @ Calyx.
Vinyl and CD distributed by Boomkat.
Digital on Bandcamp -
thecaretaker.bandcamp.com/alb...
Available on CD :
3CD collectors edition (Stages 1-3) - boomkat.com/products/stages-1-3
4CD collectors edition (Stages 4-6) - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
Available on limited Vinyl :
Stage 1 - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
Stage 2 - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
Stage 3 - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
Stage 4 - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
Stage 5 - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
Stage 6 - boomkat.com/products/everywhe...
STAGE 1 : 00:00:00
Here we experience the first signs of memory loss. This stage is most like a beautiful daydream.
The glory of old age and recollection. The last of the great days.
00:00:00 - A1 - It's just a burning memory
00:03:32 - A2 - We don't have many days
00:07:02 - A3 - Late afternoon drifting
00:10:38 - A4 - Childishly fresh eyes
00:13:36 - A5 - Slightly bewildered
00:15:38 - A6 - Things that are beautiful and transient
00:20:12 - B1 - All that follows is true
00:23:44 - B2 - An autumnal equinox
00:26:31 - B3 - Quiet internal rebellions
00:30:02 - B4 - The loves of my entire life
00:34:06 - B5 - Into each others eyes
00:38:42 - B6 - My heart will stop in joy
STAGE 2 : 00:41:22
The second stage is the self realisation and awareness that something is wrong with a refusal to accept that. More effort is made to remember so memories can be more long form with a little more deterioration in quality. The overall personal mood is generally lower than the first stage and at a point before confusion starts setting in.
00:41:22 - C1 - A losing battle is raging
00:46:01 - C2 - Misplaced in time
00:50:44 - C3 - What does it matter how my heart breaks
00:53:22 - C4 - Glimpses of hope in trying times
00:58:06 - C5 - Surrendering to despair
01:03:09 - D1 - I still feel as though I am me
01:07:17 - D2 - Quiet dusk coming early
01:10:54 - D3 - Last moments of pure recall
01:14:47 - D4 - Denial unravelling
01:19:02 - D5 - The way ahead feels lonely
STAGE 3 : 01:23:17
Here we are presented with some of the last coherent memories before confusion fully rolls in and the grey mists form and fade away. Finest moments have been remembered, the musical flow in places is more confused and tangled. As we progress some singular memories become more disturbed, isolated, broken and distant. These are the last embers of awareness before we enter the post awareness stages.
01:23:17 - E1 - Back there Benjamin
01:27:33 - E2 - And heart breaks
01:31:38 - E3 - Hidden sea buried deep
01:32:59 - E4 - Libet's all joyful camaraderie
01:36:12 - E5 - To the minimal great hidden
01:37:53 - E6 - Sublime beyond loss
01:40:03 - E7 - Bewildered in other eyes
01:41:55 - E8 - Long term dusk glimpses
01:45:29 - F1 - Gradations of arms length
01:47:00 - F2 - Drifting time misplaced
01:51:16 - F3 - Internal bewildered World
01:54:45 - F4 - Burning despair does ache
01:57:22 - F5 - Aching cavern without lucidity
01:58:41 - F6 - An empty bliss beyond this World
02:02:19 - F7 - Libet delay
02:06:15 - F8 - Mournful cameraderie
STAGE 4 : 02:08:53
Post-Awareness Stage 4 is where serenity and the ability to recall singular memories gives way to confusions and horror. It's the beginning of an eventual process where all memories begin to become more fluid through entanglements, repetition and rupture.
02:08:53 - G1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions
02:31:02 - H1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions
02:52:55 - I1 - Stage 4 Temporary Bliss State
03:13:58 - J1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions
STAGE 5 : 03:36:12
Post-Awareness Stage 5 confusions and horror. More extreme entanglements, repetition and rupture can give way to calmer moments. The unfamiliar may sound and feel familiar.
Time is often spent only in the moment leading to isolation.
03:36:12 - K1 - Stage 5 Advanced plaque entanglements
03:58:49 - L1 - Stage 5 Advanced plaque entanglements
04:21:37 - M1 - Stage 5 Synapse retrogenesis
04:42:25 - N1 - Stage 5 Sudden time regression into isolation
STAGE 6 : 05:04:32
Post-Awareness Stage 6 is without description.
05:04:32 - O1 - Stage 6 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting
05:26:25 - P1 - Stage 6 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat
05:48:02 - Q1 - Stage 6 Long decline is over
06:09:12 - R1 - Stage 6 Place in the World fades away

[@vvmtest]

Thanks for the support through the years. May the ballroom remain eternal. C'est fini.

[@mustaphaal-buhilal4863]

i love you. and thank u, i'm full of goosebumps as the realization that this is over is settling in. forever grateful.

[@nocturn1761]

Love this

[@saiffs1]

C'est nous qui te remercions pour toutes ces années de découvertes musicales magnifiques. Merci encore

[@post1305]

very nice. thanks

[@kikeelredentor]

Thanks, so much.

[@MoltenMonsters]

when your advanced dementia gets interrupted by a Honey ad

[@dwideschrude9025]

this should be the top comment lmaoo

[@jonjared88]

BRUH

[@fishsticks8198]

Swag moment when Elon Musk's brain chip streams a 5 minute long unskippable ad directly into your dementia ridden grandmother's brain causing her to seize and die

[@cleansingserum]

Omg

[@cleansingserum]

@@fishsticks8198 LMAO

[@SonalK]

They say music is the last thing you remember when suffering from dementia. So if I get dementia and this is the only album I remember I'm going to be pissed.

[@melorsomething1006]

“My mind will be gone soon... at least I’ll have some sweet tunes.” *VIOLENT STATIC AND DEEP DISTORTIONS BEYOND COMPREHENSION*

[@murilogomes4712]

@@melorsomething1006 imagine you humming this song...

[@melorsomething1006]

Murilo Gomes I think you need a very specific amount of vocal fry for that lmao.

[@skskdkdkwekekkd2347]

All the people in the nursing home singing wap🥰

[@aamariiwilliams3117]

@@skskdkdkwekekkd2347 wfwewfweewfwfw LMAO

[@ryanrepasky6183]

I like to think of Dementia as a sand castle in the wind. At first, the wind blows small grains off your castle and you wouldvnever notice this. The wind progressively takes more off your sand castle and you start to realise this but you dont think it's a big deal. You leave your sand castle overnight, when you come back there are chunks missing out of your sand castle. Hours pass as the wind slowly deteriorates your castle crumbling small portions of it to the ground. At this point the wind has deteriorated your castle to the point where you know something is there but your not sure what it is exactly. Finally, your sand castle looses the battle and joins the sand

[@AF-82]

Great analogy!

[@ryanrepasky6183]

@@AF-82 thanks

[@mr.frogfellow9714]

this is honestly genius

[@K4tf00d]

I love this interpretation. Nice job!!

[@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQ]

at stage 7, the tide comes in and not even the sand that was once part of the castle is visible.

[@hoax5347]

Why are there ads now, I don't think grandma's gonna randomly start going on about grammarly

[@cristiancastro5853]

IM DYING HELP 😭☠

[@hoax5347]

Go to a doctor then buster

[@cristiancastro5853]

@@hoax5347 too late I died

[@ryanrepasky6183]

​@@cristiancastro5853womp womp

[@scotteaker4091]

@@cristiancastro5853bro just pulled out a “hold on lemme post this before i truly die” move 💀

[@Jackt750]

“The only thing more terrifying than the unknown is a distortion of the familiar” - Magic: The Gathering

[@tepelstreeltje27]

this guy spittin some wisdom

[@arielfoster68]

wow. this is so true

[@gunkwizardry]

this is a fucking quote from magic: the gathering you nerd ass

[@Jackt750]

@@gunkwizardry hey you the nerd ass for knowing that, I actually didn’t know

[@rachel_stephens]

Well worded my guy

[@sjh5465]

It's *my* sleepover and *I* get to choose the music

[@Alissi-P]

Can i come

[@plokijum]

Goddamnit Stephanie can we just talk about Mr Martin's ex wife's drug induced dramas like a normal middle schoolers

[@blehwhatever4890]

Thank you for bringing me back for now

[@vianneyjaime8310]

I wanna like but it’s a 69 likes

[@somethingwithbungalows]

*oh shit wait no*

[@WishHouseVaporwave]

My grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's. She always asked who I was and I always answered politely. I was 16 when she died. I always thought she was just joking until my father told me she had Alzheimer's. When my grandfather died, my grandmother always asked where he went and when he would return. We didn't know what to tell her and always said that he was at work. She was one of the kindest people I know. Grandma and grandpa. I will always remember you

[@sunny_dd]

I'm really sorry

[@bouldersmokingaciggie538]

i'm sorry for you're loss.

[@anchov648]

this is sad.

[@Juniper8271]

KZbin forcing ads on every video is the single worst thing for videos like this

[@MemeRaiders-ex6sy]

Yep

[@TheEpicRoblox102]

@@MemeRaiders-ex6sy What did he do to you bruh???

[@topro3xd]

ad blocker

[@LexiWei-uq4zy]

fr it ruins the mood

[@gremezahk1]

You can either download the video or use an adblocker.

[@humanl4903]

Everything is creepy when people with meme profile pictures and joke accounts tell serious stories and aren’t joking in the comments section

[@pamlillie]

Facts

[@gobyivvivilvaq]

i agree

[@teh_leaf5430]

Facts tho

[@chees8067]

amogus

[@anaig9599]

Ikr

[@chandlersmith7690]

There is just an unspoken bond between everybody here

[@rogueanuerz]

H O M I E S

[@Thundrite]

Yep

[@gracepine7582]

It's kind of hard not to after this

[@evanmcshannock]

Wise o man once said that great minds will think alike!

[@christianclaunch308]

Has got to be

[@andrewbryant6495]

This piece of work is pure genius. I took care of my grandfather with Alzheimer’s - who fought on the battle of Omaha beach, D-Day, as he would say, “June 6th, 1944, just at the break of dawn”, and survived unimaginable horrors. Can you imagine being in that position? And then being poorly treated by the VA? Then the last period of your life you have one of the worst diseases mankind has seen. It was extremely hard for me as a 20-year-old boy at the time , in 2008, having taken care of him for nine months, plus other stressors in my life, landed me a couple of involuntarily state hospital commitments. The role of the caretaker is as in much horror if they are not trained, it is enough to break any sane mind enough to do a job like that. I will never regret it, I quit everything I was doing to take care of him, meaning, I also dropped out of college to do it along with some other things I was doing. Thank you so much for this incredible piece of work . As a musician myself, you have my utmost respect.

[@MackingCheese99]

Your grandfather fought well on that beach, and fought well to the very end.

[@andrewbryant6495]

@@MackingCheese99 thank you so much for your support and respect 🙏🏻

[@ThatGamingKidd9]

You're Grandfather was a hero and will not be forgotten. May he rest in peace. ❤

[@XflamenderX]

Yo, I‘m just a random person from the internet but you have all my respect for taking care of your grandpa. You‘re a great person!

[@gabrielchavezmusic4973]

Gotcha brother ❤

[@chumkibagchi128]

I always thought that cancer was the worst ending to life, but after listening to a tiny fraction of this, I now feel like dementia is so many times worse. Even when you have cancer, you still get to experience your final moments with your loved ones. But with dementia, you don’t even know what a loved one is. With dementia, you sit alone with your thoughts hoping to die, except you can’t remember your thoughts and you don’t know what hope is and you don’t know what death is. You’re just a lifeless husk of what you used to be. Truly a terrible fate.

[@brittneyrose4095]

As someone who has worked for dementia patients for years, it is the scariest, heartbreaking thing a person and their loved ones could go through

[@tarugo06]

ALS is worst imo

[@erinvendetti5812]

I think I was meant to read this as my mom dies of cancer and my long estranged fathers been diagnosed w dementia and I’m lost as to forgiveness. Crying. God works in weird ways I guess.

[@mutahmarriagecounselor2272]

There's worse. My mom has glioblastoma and it's like alzheimers plus the worst cancer 😢😢😢😢😢

[@IAMSOPITY]

Well, my father died from cancer and experienced sort of dementia

[@stingy418]

Why do I feel like I'm spoiling my own death?

[@legallyrequired]

Its thats true don’t worry, you won’t remember this anyway.

[@momoreview5555]

@@legallyrequired The worst part it's that the best part. We are nothing, we are our memories and when we die memories will too, so our existence will be nothing. Nothing to nothing, even if we became someone important to humanity, universe will die too, atoms will be nothing. The whole universe will became nothing "again" and then maybe there will be another universe ir maybe the universe is just a golrified loop and things will happen again for eternity. Fact is we both will not know because we were born in a time where those things i speaked about is just "teories" But hey! Don't be depressed over "nothing" lol

[@THEBACKROOMSEXPLORER7]

thatone guy deep lol

[@scarpusgaming]

@@momoreview5555 they certainly are "teories"

[@tamarapopovic6255]

@@tsu177 and what if you will know about it? as i know there is a lot of poetry based on thinking how light is black dirt (idk if i used the right word) so you should definitely read that. it gave me chills i hope you'll feel the same :)

[@KELLY-yv7vp]

suddenly i really care about my mental health.

[@nightwalker4126]

*grin* 69 likes. Noice

[@gildasdoingstuff8654]

Same

[@goblin6037]

I started caring after I got Memory loss

[@noti7510]

I feel like one day I will think "dementia is when you forget stuff" and then when I don't care about swearing I'll say something vulgar, and maybe I've thought this multiple times, I keep mentally active , and I'll fight it. Music, art, writing, reading, sculpture, socialize, game, puzzle. Then I'll forget why. Demontia is a worde. I'll do it for fun. I'll play my fav game again and forget what it was about. hat was it abot?

[@liminality8791]

I have to witness my sweet grandmas descent into Alzheimer’s

[@user-cr4tw3wb2w]

Everytime an add plays i pause it and ask myself, "what has this world come to where literally nothing is sacred"

[@TheCleaner.]

UBLOCK ORIgin, free and blocker and works too ;3

[@Esmogus]

@@TheCleaner. you probably got that as an ad

[@sophiadellacroce9445]

I agree- ads are an encroachment on this. It’s an auditory artwork, and to have ads interrupting it destroys the immersion :/

[@Esmogus]

@@sophiadellacroce9445 *you crying* "oh, this song is beautiful" *WRITINGSNOTEASYTHATSWHYGRAMMARLYCANHELP*

[@PlushAmongUs]

I just realized: every album cover may have a hidden meaning. Stage 1's cover is familiar, and you can tell its a paper. However, you can't tell the specific details. Stage 2's flowers are pointed down, signaling a grief situation of some sort, possibly the denial of the diagnosis. Also, the two people dancing on the pot's texture may signal that they can still remember important memories, however due to their worsening dementia, they can't exactly tell much about that memory... Stage 3 represents the point between familiarity and confusion. You are able to tell it's a plant, however you can't tell which type of plant it is exactly. Is it a flower? A weed? A tree? You can't tell. But you can tell it's an overgrowth of some sort. Possibly signaling the beginning of an overgrowth of plaque in the brain, choking out neurons in masses. The true beginning of the end. Stage 4 represents a serenity, in them staring away, possibly calm, but you can't identify who they are anymore. The mesh of colors represents the mesh of memories which now flow like a liquid as memories begin to degrade further. Stage 5's pumice-texture bits represent the plaques that have absolutely taken over the brain by now, and you can no longer identify anything in the picture at all, aside from that one stone being held by the "man holding a cane", it seems. That may represent their awareness of senility, and that may be all they can remember, aside from the short bursts of clarity. Stage 6 represents the back of a canvas, and as the other comment said, the memory is right there, but it's just out of your reach. So close, but so far.

[@Prommetheus.Epimmetheus]

I just realized that there's a faint piece in stage 5's album that looks like a man holding a cane like actually this could also represent them now holding a small piece of their and others identity yet not knowing who it is

[@aeneas.csproj]

not hidden but pop off ig

[@youtubevanced9574]

You're wrong. Stop trying to be quirky and acting as if you "cracked the code". You know nothing and your knowledge about The Caretaker is inferior.

[@iep_fuf]

@@youtubevanced9574Are you ok? It’s just a theory.

[@youtubevanced9574]

@@iep_fuf nah.

[@imgonnamunchimgonnacrunch4656]

This feels like when your reading but you keep accidently rereading the same paragraph. But you keep doing it until you cant understand the words anymore.

[@limeangelo6019]

Its like photocopying the same image until its just static and nothing makes sense

[@morapazfilgueira743]

That's a great metaphor...

[@johndaly9760]

From looking into dimensia it seems as though that is exactly what it is like. The familiar becomes unfamiliar and what might seem like reality is uncertain to you

[@billrobertjoe]

@@limeangelo6019 there was a project like that on Instagram but it was screenshotting

[@F5dfgvjh82j68]

I thought i was the only one this happened to... i wonder what that's called.

[@talonth3k1d]

Imagine walking into a new house only for someone to tell you that you have lived there for 10 years

[@benebsbiagtan3357]

"The hell do you mean this wonderful house is our house, why is such a fine lady like you telling me this, are you seducing me perhaps?"

[@squiddlediddle]

“Im your daughter, dad.”

[@foyotey9305]

this is what happens with my uncle, and i feel so bad for him.. he even asks my aunt who she is and when she says they have been married for 30 years he gets so happy and he says "really? thats mind boggling.." and he smiles so wide, but even though re-knowing makes him happy, i cant help but feel so sad for him..

[@isa0f]

@@foyotey9305 im so sorry.

[@talonth3k1d]

@@foyotey9305 that is so sad. I’m at so sorry for you

[@Di0genes729]

I love the meaning of the sixth stage's album cover. It's the back of a canvas, where we can imagine the painting represents all the memories. The memories are still there, but they're pointed away from the viewer, and there's nothing they can do to see the other side.

[@sugardude]

That's disturbing. It would be so devastating to have all of your memories like that.

[@mariak5169]

ouch

[@TheEpicRoblox102]

🍗 in the backrooms: Gegagedigedagedago! Abi mery alongtamigo!

[@Di0genes729]

@@TheEpicRoblox102 wow, great comment

[@SpideyStudios-1000]

Imagine meeting somebody for the first time, only for someone to tell you.. “That’s your daughter..”

[@bouldersmokingaciggie538]

fuck me that's deep.

[@Rangernewb5550]

Listening to the audible decay of the human mind is horrible sleep music

[@limeangelo6019]

Guess whos listening to this at 4:27 am

[@gabrielsantana6161]

That's the best kind of music actually

[@deadbydawn2249]

WillowsStars tbh made me sleep 70x better

[@starsnatcher4659]

I thought, hey... study music? But I'm really sad right now

[@mariejeanne8116]

@@starsnatcher4659 I studied with it (I didn't have 6 free hours) and it wasn't bad! I liked the background noise but you indeed still feel the effects

[@h3mog0blin]

This is like a horror movie made entirely out of sound

[@WobblesandBean]

It's worse than a horror movie, it's...how do I explain? A horror movie will effect you while it's running, but once it's over and the credits roll, it's over. You may feel some residual anxiety, but for the most part once it's done, it loses its hold on you. But this? This...will never leave me. _This will never leave me._

[@japo8757]

@@WobblesandBean It's like a psichological horror

[@eltiolavara9]

@@WobblesandBean well thats with regular horror, psychological horror stays on you for longer

[@sfglim5341]

Not really Horror movies are short in comparison xd Also this is way more terrifying than any gore

[@staleacidiccereal]

Its so much worse, its like a nightmare where you can almost run but you cant. Almost see, almost think. But at the same time its so far away. That truly haunts me

[@nesswhopees]

My maternal grandfather passed away from Alzheimer's earlier this morning, March 1st 2024. All I could think of was this album...

[@7lime_]

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

[@groupisnear]

Sorry to hear that

[@Duster_WCUE]

rest in piece, and fly high

[@JayKordichlover]

I'm sorry man that really suck I recently lost someone I loved to

[@hanzsenedo706]

Rest in peace, he has finally been free. Fly high, hes in paradise now.

[@KatyaMilenka-gj2fk]

... my grandmother is currently dying of dementia and has stage 4 cancer ... I'm her in home caregiver The doctors said today it's inoperable... Listening to this has me in tears ... ...never take your loved ones for granted...

[@bouldersmokingaciggie538]

hope the best for you and your grandma dude🙏🙏

[@CASSIELEGION]

im so sorry to hear that😔

[@KitchenKerfuffle]

Never take them for granted?

[@DefinitelynotKenji]

My grandmother was ra*Ed by her father, she took her hate out in her kids, in turn thru took their hate out on us. She never went out of her way to get the help she knew she desperately needed and choose to ignore it. She's 74 now and living in my home. She's a narcissist and a liar. Her children are dead, one died a drug addict who abused his children and women, the other died a drunk who abused her son. Good riddance to them all.

[@AlfaTheRaccoon]

my grandma died of dementia too about a year ago

[@tessa1893]

I’m just reading and liking all the comments while listening

[@aceancheta829]

same. im on stage 2 rn

[@ikishiion5456]

Ace Ancheta same i’m on stage two rn

[@drearierspace91]

i just started

[@feya1621]

me too

[@ikishiion5456]

i’m now on stage C2

[@TheLeglonnaire]

“When an old man dies, a library burns" -African proverb

[@TheLeglonnaire]

If you'd like to, volunteer at an old folks' home, or just chat with an elder if you can. Odds are with a life as long as they have lived, they'll have plenty of wild stories they'd love to share, and in turn you can pass those on too.

[@pooliso2102]

man

[@ElvireTanks]

Good one

[@burgrz_tasty1237]

When old men die I get mad and burn down a library

[@rayfan9876]

That's one of the most stunning quotes I've ever heard. I've never been more terrified for the journey that is ageing than I am now, having just turned 25, my brain set. I'm now off to learn everything on my own terms. One day, everything I learned, all the science stuff I dedicated my hours to over and above my homework for some cause I felt more important than anything, will suddenly evaporate. Or... slowly, slowly begin to untangle into senseless nothingness.

[@kale9227]

My grandmother is on stage 6 of Dementia and has basically lost most verbal communication. Sadly, I didn't know this until about 3 months ago, where my father took me to see her. She speaks Spanish so I don't understand what she says. Later, my dad told me that she was only speaking gibberish. I was heartbroken, because he looked so defeated when he told me. I know it deeply affects him and I don't know how much longer she'll last. Hearing this makes me realize how everything just fades away into basically nothing. I really appreciate that The Caretaker made this so I can know what she's going through.

[@andynilsennot4329]

i hope she will be fine in her last days

[@bitchmochi]

i realize that in the time where you posted this, she has been in that state for nearly 4 months now. that's terrifying. i'm so sorry. wishing you strength.

[@pyromeister420]

Know the same about my Grandma… The worst fear for me is, that a beloved family member wont remember who I am, because that happenend to my father when I was 7… My Grandma did not recognize us all standing in the doorframe… A few days later she died in her sleep…. I cannot describe the feelings I have now after I can mentally process the pain my Father and family members and especially my Grandma went trough after forgot everything she was and had… I wish I had one last moment with her, with my state of mind, with everything I am now to appreciate her appearance and the person she is…

[@jotabro5194]

this is like visiting a loved ones house but no ones home

[@CascadianRanger]

And no one's been home in a long time e

[@taco_0015]

*you call out to somebody *yet it was all in vain, as for no one was there

[@haydencct]

If you're lucky, your mind will die with your body.

[@khatunamezvrishvili6211]

Yeah I'm hoping that's what happens

[@rasati]

i always thought id just kill myself if i was the last person alive but now i feel like i would just forget that there was any people ever before i could bring myself to do it

[@morgankasper5227]

*unlucky

[@jacktheflash8478]

Morgan Kasper ?

[@alexmiller6795]

Morgan Kasper He means if your lucky your mind will not fade away until your body dies. With dementia, the mind dies ahead of the body, slowly withering away until nothing. The hope is that your mind won’t go until your body does.

[@carsonkent1749]

My great grandpa forgot who my mom and sister were. But he remembered me. Laying in the hospital bed. “How’s ol Carson” I was only 7 and I didn’t realize I was his only person. The only person that was left in his world.

[@priscillasoto9231]

this lowk made me tear up 😔

[@10pillsinmyhand]

same shit happened with my great granmom, like exact same shit bruh

[@Alernategem]

damn im ok, he meant you though i guess

[@Squiddiessquids]

The same shit happened to my great great grandmother But I don’t think she remembered my grandma or her grandchildren

[@uryu0150]

this pushed me over the edge fuck

[@CSCrimson]

as someone who has worked in elder care, You say you don't fear death until you see that primal fear in a persons eyes as they realize its near. Ill never forget the absolute fear in this older gentleman's eyes as he slowly succumbed to cancer his last night. I always had a bit of fear of death before that but now i truly fear that after this life there is nothing. There was no comfort in that mans last moment. We couldn't do anything for him but sit there while he went through it. That's the scariest part to me is you are truly alone in death.

[@INSANEBOONK]

The truly terrifying thing is you will be washed away with time your body will decay and you cannot stop it death awaits us all patiently

[@markymark9516]

This is the #1 all time source of spreading awareness I've ever seen. Some people don't understand how humiliating this disease can be, but I know a lot of people who just happen to know about this project - this helps get so many people on the same emotional level.

[@Jameswhodr]

hi

[@plushiestory]

Its not humiliating, its just straight up terrifying

[@grayanddevpdx]

@@plushiestory I dunno, being diagnosed with what is basically “Lose All Intelligence Then Die” disease sounds at least vaguely humiliating.

[@lol-gb5vt]

@@grayanddevpdx its not humiliating if you can't physically understand the concept of the word humiliation when its all said and done

[@dancetheory3102]

Listening to normal music after this just felt wrong. Like fake smiling for a family photo.

[@Vile_of_Riles]

I know what you mean, I just ate dinner and hearing people talk and then listening to normal music after finishing this is a whole new experience.

[@Nestellnd]

Lmao we really just be like 😁to😐

[@chisathot750]

Listen to Haydn :D

[@dancetheory3102]

F4u Corsair lol

[@pt-dg7yu]

Like cock with no balls.

[@jacksonmorris6389]

I don’t fear death, but this gives a view into something much, much worse.

[@lalchhandama3805]

I fear the pain my loved ones will go through when I die

[@notar5564]

There are fates ways worse than death

[@PajamaManor]

@@notar5564 fates?

[@Ironboiibruuhhh]

Same

[@blakethesnake6686]

As Mario once said : "You go to hell before you die."

[@mika5359]

my grandmother died on September 4, 2023, she had Alzheimer's and towards the end of her life she could no longer even speak or swallow her saliva, she was right there, staring at me with her big blue eyes, like a thousand yard stairs, I couldn't even look at her without almost bursting into tears, all I could do was listen to this album while crying, I felt so bad for her I just wanted she tells me one of her youthful anecdotes one last time or holds me in her arms but even that she couldn't do it anymore, I have the impression of having avoided her while she was on her deathbed I regret not having spent more time with her, she was the only grandmother I ever knew and she was probably the kindest person I knew, i feel so bad.

[@itzwindows]

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤

[@Jameswhodr]

mine died in january i feel your pain i never saw mine after she started freaking out about nonsense stuff

[@kakyoin_651]

Sorry for your loss darling

[@Terramorph_2784]

This might be a bit late, but I'm really sorry for you're loss. I hope things get better for you and your family..

[@Jameswhodr]

@@Terramorph_2784 who

[@suesylvia8420]

My Mom is in the beginning stages of dementia. Lord, help me to be patient, gentle and kind. And remind me never to say "Don't you remember...?" Amen. ❤

[@movieswithparts]

amen

[@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQ]

that's sad.

[@r.1s4]

I wish you all the strength in this world dear...

[@randomcommenter-pk1tj]

May the lord be with you through it all❤

[@kakyoin_651]

i wish her all the hope ...

[@maj.c7829]

Me at 3am KZbin: Hey wanna hear DEMENTIA

[@funnybonez420]

It’s 3:47 for me listening to this

[@miguelcote6116]

Its literally 3:03 and I've found this.. I don't know how to feel, many emotions going through my head

[@tommmytv6882]

IM CRYING best comment on here

[@chemoemo2814]

I woke up in the middle of the night to 3:23:18

[@SoupSoup11]

😂

[@SirKingBoo21]

My mom told me once that my great grandma had dementia. She said they had to take all the mirrors out of the house because she was scared of the person who was in them.

[@tracyday4104]

That. That is true fear. If you cant bear to see the person in your mirror. Then you are getting close to where if you see a simple picture of you... it's just jumbled shapes and parts put together.

[@angelinatruitt2751]

That's terrifying...

[@LanieMae]

@@peyton3509 when I look in the mirror I always see a super ugly person /s

[@aydanscott9871]

@@tracyday4104 That’s terrifying. Forgetting the familiar human form we see every day, looking completely alien

[@scarly9674]

yes same with my grandad he would get really frustrated because he thought an old man was following him. i think its mainly because they regress so they think they are younger. it’s terrifying what your own brain can do to you, he would watch tv but he thought that the people were actually there with him like he would tell us about his trips to new york because there was a tv programme about new york ect

[@darthadipose1920]

Weird how ‘Glimpses of hope in trying times’ sounds eerie and unsettling but ‘surrendering to despair’ sounds pleasant. It’s like the names have been switched.

[@standard-carrier-wo-chan]

Because in a way, struggling in hope is scary because you'll always have that niggling doubt that your entire struggle might be in vain, while surrendering is pleasant because you're giving up the weight of existence and just letting yourself rest, released from the weights and burdens of life.

[@YourLocalHistoryGuy]

This reminds me of my grandpa. He died from Alzheimer’s and dementia back in October of 2023. I was sitting with him in hospice the whole time. Most of the time, he was asleep. But when he was awake, he couldn’t speak. But he did remember me.

[@Imsmiles]

My grandfather died of it back in 2017, and the last thing he ever said to me was, "hey sepp". Not a week later he was gone....

[@satarathevoodoowitch5144]

The thought of your parents getting dementia is absolutely gut wrenching.

[@jazzhehe]

it sucks, my mum has it :(

[@putrakarsa]

@@jazzhehe damn bro im sorry

[@lucarion958]

Feel that. My father had a Stroke in December. A few weeks back I asked him if he was OK, as I usually do, he said good though he would forget things from time to time. I don't know if its dementia or not, but im terrefied right now. Writing that down is comforting but next time I'll see him the thought will hit again, as it did all the times since he said it. Thanks, if you took the time reading this. Stay Strong and keep your head up :)

[@Puthyslayer2000]

I had the thought of my mom getting it, and my heart hurt. It was like a tensing, cramped up feeling. Just the thought brings me pain.

[@hat_kid6224]

My grandma has schizofrenia and bipolar disorder, and my grandpa cardiac diseases, he's half deaf and has alzheimer It really sucks dude... And they aren't even my direct parents

[@fuck_atherine]

this feels like saying the same word over and over again until it doesn't sound like a word and you forget why you were saying it in the first place

[@fernandoperaltaesparza4816]

I thought I was the only one who experienced this, not gonna lie...

[@asmrtingles56]

YES OMG

[@hannahm420]

thank you i was trying to explain it but you did it for me

[@joey.thieme]

holy shit this is a perfect comparison wow

[@Nick-lj5jc]

no

[@user-eh1vp3ev3c]

Music really is a language. I had thought this disease is one of forgetfulness. Now I realize it's so much worse. Not only do you forget, but to see the memories you have left colliding into one another, creating nightmares beyond imagination, with no sense of past, present or context of any kind. I've been composing music for 15 years now, it's good to know there is always something new to discover. I may not have enjoyed every moment of this piece, but I respect the work immensely. The disease itself may be abstract, but the music is not, it captures the abstraction perfectly, rendering it into a terrifying reality that we can all understand. I finally begin to understand what my grandfather was going through so many years ago, and I hope we can find a way to alleviate the suffering of future generations.

[@Upholstered_]

I liked this comment

[@user-gu6nb3fx3k]

何ともないと思っていた認知症というものが音楽に変換されるだけでこんなに恐ろしくなるなんて、、音楽は非常に興味深いものです。

[@MoonlightMirage]

I listened to this when it first got uploaded, but about two years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia. She was always looking after me while my parents were busy in the day, helped me get to school, go get fast food or something after school... We were very close. She refuses to eat because she says she's not hungry. She's been forgetting to get up and use the restroom when needed. She gets upset with people more easily nowadays. And of course...she's struggling to remember anyone in her family (she recognizes some faces, but can't recall their name), including her three children (my mom, aunt, and late uncle), but the one name she always seems to remember is mine. She is always worried that she doesn't have enough pictures of me in her room even though there are probably a dozen that have me in them, but not necessarily worried about anyone else. But who knows how much longer until she forgets about me too. That last flicker of life will turn off and she'll be gone.

[@invertednoob3123]

This one finally made me tear up, it’s really sad and I hope it all gets better

[@jasper-mh6vf]

i'm so sorry sweetheart, try to stay strong

[@doctordemon9324]

Me: Oh, come on, this isn't that bad. Me 6 hours later: Post Awareness Stage 6 is without description.

[@cumsupremacist1328]

yooo nice just kill me pfp

[@dove4965]

until the 2 hours mark it's bearable and slow-changing, after that there is a massive jump and its mostly spoopy sounds with bits of recognizable distorted melody, sometimes playing multiple melodies at once

[@OrangeC7]

@@dove4965 I skipped through it because I wanted to see what it was like even though I wouldn't be able to find the time to listen to the whole thing continuously. The only way I could describe those later tracks is that it's as if there's a remnant of some kind of musical quality far, far off in the distance, and I tried to grab it, but it kept getting farther and farther away, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

[@BradCarlMusic]

@@dove4965 "spoopy" - love that.

[@am_ist]

OrangeC7 The cover art for Stage 6 is the back of a painting, unreachable.

[@adelinehaley9428]

Everybody gangsta til the picture you been starin' at for hours changes

[@derrrtee]

Everybody gangsta til the picture you been staring at for hours changes to a picture of a painting facing away from you

[@Xgennn57]

@@derrrtee damn

[@HourlySmoker]

How about another stage, Murrayy

[@rotisseriepossum]

Derr Rtee omg so that’s what that is. this whole project has such an uncanny valley feel and that little detail just turned it up to 11 for me

[@pablogarcia6188]

I was listening to this at school and I forgot how to hold a pencil

[@kiranclarke869]

Important moments (Copied) 2:14:03 Reversed D5 2:17:29 C3 clarities 2:45:26 Hell sirens 3:40:09 Clarity 3:42:02 Clarity 2 3:53:01 Grand Fantasia 3:55:23 Mandolin solo 4:03:02 Farewell blues 4:26:27 Heartaches 4:56:00 N1 clarity 1 4:56:21 N1 clarity 2 4:56:27 Distorded clarity 5:21:27 An empty bliss beyond this world 5:49:41 This is romance tumpet clarity 5:50:49 Piano clarity 5:52:25 Piano clarity 2 6:03:33 This is romance 6:24:15 Terminal lucidity

[@Ryan_Roper0]

This should be tagged

[@berarushi]

Thanks for pointing these out

[@ZAZcomveOriginal]

one more, death.

[@laylahurtado9237]

Bro. I do not think you f*cking understand the genuine fear struck into my body when I was listening to this on max and Terminal lucidity hit.

[@cokedupkrabs2937]

@@laylahurtado9237 I can only imagine 😅

[@user-os1mt4mv5p]

i never thought i'd ever be so desperate to try to find a melody in the songs im listening to. im currently at stage four. everytime i hear a noise that is somehow comparable with a melody it fills me with pure satistfaction, only to hear the white noise not even a second later. just like trying to find a memory.

[@fouriousbanana6966]

I’m still like 20 min into this album and what you’re saying scares me

[@bingobeego]

​@@fouriousbanana6966try to remember the songs and melodies as theyre gonna be used later on

[@lasarmassecretas4087]

Does that mean you can't listen to music? Like, you can't recognize melodies in songs? I'd appreciate your answer if it's not a bother

[@DuelaDent52]

@@lasarmassecretas4087I think they meant they were at Stage 4 of the video, not the actual disease.

[@BaronElBardo]

Don't want to spoil all your fun. But the official wiki has cataloguesd all (or almost all) the songs mentioned. Thanks to the wiki I'm doing my "Trabajo de fin de grado". It's up to you to use this information. Just a small clue: At stage 4 Kirby uses songs from his previous works.

[@hayley8315]

we’re all talking about how painful it is to listen to the full six and a half hours, but what about the poor guy who spent YEARS listening to it over and over again to make the damn thing... respect

[@taritangeo4948]

I like to compare it to people that live with alzheimer's instead,deteriorating for years and unable to click away. Then i feel like 6 hours of nasty music is no big deal.

[@hayley8315]

Tari Tangeo yeah totally agree. after listening to the first four hours (i’m struggling to get past this point, but feel like i owe it to The Caretaker and everything the albums stand for) it makes you really appreciate what you have. imagine living like this (or living in the state of mind that this is trying to represent) for years stuck in your own head until there’s just nothing left. don’t take anything for granted. again, huge respect to the creator of this art

[@aliveslice]

Can someone identify the original songs? I heard a lot of them before but don't know their names.

[@hayley8315]

mental I know one of the main songs used is called midnight, the stars and you by Ray Noble. I’ll keep looking for some others

[@aliveslice]

@@hayley8315 nice. Some of them are in my head now because they obviously repeat... And I don't even know what they are. I haven't even passed 2 hours)

[@cameronnutballs3394]

As my friend’s grandparent once said; “don’t worry about keeping me alive, I died a few years ago’

[@surprisetroll5700]

The more I think about it the more dark and fucked it becomes, am I looking to deep into this?

[@user-bc9ve4sc1c]

@@surprisetroll5700 nah you're doing the right thing

[@DrWongburger]

@Yggdrasil Burnes Strange isn't it? I remember my grandmother's brother, who had quite advanced dementia; on the night of my grandmother's passing, told his caretaker another relative, that he saw his sister and that she was well. Moments later, back to his usual self as if nothing was said. A strange occurrence for me at the time, a young boy of 10 maybe. The lines between life and death, lucidity and composure all seemed to blur together. Perhaps he wasn't an addled old mind, perhaps he did indeed see his sister as she left this earth . Our minds are so much more powerful than we know, which is why I fear we know so little about combating diseases like dementia. I must admit, I am both fascinated and horrified by such diseases. Thank you for your comment.

[@epic-user-handle-83]

@@user-bc9ve4sc1c another blank

[@ImMinksie]

that’s deep-

[@starzymusicofficial]

My best friend, takoda, is sadly suffering from childhood dementia. He forgot who i am. Hes on stage three right now i believe. It was really hard to explain who i was to him. So i just said “im a friend you met around 2019.” poor dude. He reminds me of every single part of this album. Especially the stage he is on. At this point, he once told me when he had it but still remembered me, he said “, i feel like i could die right now.”

[@stardrop_love]

I’m pretty sure my neighbor has dementia. We’ve known her since my childhood, and she was always an energetic and bold woman. She was a little gossipy, but most old women tend to be. If our friends weren’t in the neighborhood she would let us stay in her us and just have fun. I didn’t get along with her grandkids, but she was funny enough more on my side then she was ever there’s. I am so thankful for her she let me stay in her house during times my siblings weren’t home but my parents forgot to unlock the house for me to get in to so I didn’t have to hide in the garage. But of course as I got older, and things change, I’ve been out of state and out of city. It isn’t until some time a month ago I moved back in to my childhood home and she’s still there. I honestly noticed nothing off about her. She seemed excited we moved back in and acknowledged we haven’t been around. She’s very sweet and my mom sometimes talk to her. But I have noticed she always have someone with her, I remember her being able to leave on her own like a strong independent granny with a good head on her shoulders. But there’s always a woman with her now when she needs to go somewhere. I also realized her gate is locked up to infinity, it used to be open for me, my siblings + other kids to come in and play, it would just be her actual house that would be locked. But now it’s basically caged up. One time she was talking to me and she was rambling how she needs my help, something about that “someone stole her money and she needs me to help her talk to the police”. Just told her I’ll ask my mom. Told my mom, and she just said vaguely “she’s sick, just don’t pay much attention to her when she rambles”. I never heard her talk about her like that ever. My neighbor of course forgot about that exchange and talked to me the next day like nothing happened. She can’t seem to register my niece and nephews. She still recognizes me, my mom, and my siblings, and asks us how we are. But she seems surprised each time she meets my niece and nephews, and always re introduce herself to them. A friend has told me it’s possible because we were with her for so long, we’re a memory her brain can recognize, but she can’t make new ones anymore. It really breaks my heart knowing this awesome lady from my childhood now needs a caretaker because she’s at the stage she can’t be left alone anymore, and how im never gonna be able to have a “proper” conversation with her anymore now that I’m an adult. It makes me sad she’s likely going to hit stage 5 or 6 before she gets the chance to pass peacefully. The passage of time knows no mercy.

[@TieisAwsom]

"Post Awareness Stage 6 is without description" is by far the most terrifying thing I've ever read.

[@RayisanArtist101]

Its unnerving, the most terrifying and heart wrenching thing i’ve ever heard, listening to it makes me pause and think about memories I had long forgotten. It genuinely scares me, there is a feeling I can’t quite place in the pit of my chest, its like my chest is freezing and twisting uncontrolably. Its an unorthodox loop of memories that have come and gone, times I wish I had spent with people that valued my time and being, times I wish I hadn’t cried, all in one song, one stage.

[@lcdream4213]

I still don't fully understand the meaning of the title

[@RayisanArtist101]

@@lcdream4213 The entire video is about the stages of dementia, the final stage is “without a discription” because at that point, in the final stage, everything that you once knew, anything you could have done or explained, is gone. You don’t recognize anything but a hazy memory that doesn’t seem quite right, so, if you put yourself into the music, and you would go with it, you would see and feel the fear and the feeling of loosing all of your memories. You would forget how to describe simple things, hence, “Post Awareness Stage 6 is without description” In this stage, you can only hear fragments of notes, distant footsteps, and white noise. The picture only emphasizes the emptyness, a blank canvas. The video makes you think, well, it makes me think, and being a good visualizer, it makes it more surreal. I hope this helped

[@andermedievil]

@@Jaymark895 in the descriptions are the timestamps.

[@vikiv.1352]

That's like no comments on steroids

[@f4c3n4t0r]

Nothin' like sitting down and listening to the gradual decline of the human psyche

[@slvrcross]

Lol

[@kirbylovesyou2]

Yup, because with no recollection of the past without any form of documentation to prove otherwise, it's like it never happened. It truly is a crazy notion and a harsh reality.

[@wayfarer6349]

Funny enough, thats what im doing

[@cameo64]

This is my third time

[@tykerary8726]

@@kirbylovesyou2 p.

[@YourBoiPotato69420]

She died on Monday the 25th. She talked to herself and hallucinated and forgot things almost daily, but sometimes she was still the same lady Id known since I was little. I wish i could have had one more normal talk with her, or had her toast just one more time. I miss her.

[@killer_moon1983]

rest in peace to whoever this wonderful person was man :(

[@houstonhebert7893]

My grandpa, one of the most important people in my life passed away last night. For the last few days of his life he started hallucinating and hearing things that weren’t there when I was in the room with him. I don’t think he ever forgot who I was. It’s weird how this song pops up in my memory of all nights. I haven’t felt upset about it like I thought I would but it’s nice reading everyone’s experiences. It makes me feel less alone. I hope whoever reads this and is experiencing something similar to know that you’re not alone. Be there for them, be their rock and company. I hope you have a good night or day ❤️

[@TheCleaner.]

I don't know what to say but I'm sorry that happened, it sucks death is inevitable, but even after there gone they live on through you even if it's a small percent, there in you

[@porkyminchasc1150]

"The worst part of dementia isn't the fact that you can't remember, but that you forgot you even needed to."

[@Exonikk]

made it so its no 420 likes

[@karlchilds8421]

I'd argue that that would actually make it not as bad.. imagine remembering that you need to remember but not being able to, the frustration that would come with that. Not remembering that you need to remember somehow seems more peaceful.

[@porkyminchasc1150]

@@karlchilds8421 That's the thing. You no longer even feel the need to get back that piece of yourself that you lost. It's an empty bliss, which, in my opinion, is the most terrifying thing of all.

[@JarNO_WAY]

@@karlchilds8421 that's IMO the point of the name of the first song in stage 6: "A confusion so thick you forget forgetting". In a sense, the confusion in stage 5 was somewhat of a tiny ledge to hold on to. the realization that something is wrong and that things are not adding up. Stage 6 is just droning. No more realization that you're sick. No more comprehension as to what started confusion in the first place, so you stop being confused. The confusion is so thick that you forget forgetting. And that's the part where all is lost.

[@melodykuromibebbies2138]

or you don't even know you just did. you've no clue whatsoever.

[@mcarthur6720]

The fear of memory loss is so hard to put into words. You can live out a whole fulfilling life and by the end you haven't lived a single day.

[@WobblesandBean]

Such a poignantly devastating way to describe it. You did so perfectly.

[@user-xk1ql6do8j]

This comment makes me cry

[@LuizHRDC]

It won't happen if you make sure to be miserable the whole way long. Just wall to wall of letting it all go as your frustration on not doing anything to feel alive leads you to nowhere.

[@lucas-qf2qe]

Amazing description

[@Spoonsies_]

This one. This comment made me realize how horrifying it is.

[@TheLoneliestGod]

so its been one year since my grandfather died (4/6/24) i'm listening to this as some sort of tribute, I don't know why. I can feel my first memory’s of him for all those years ago slipping away from me, and it just hurts so much. I told him that I would play him a song on my guitar the last time we met... But I never did... Now he’s dead. I feel so terrible, all he did last Time we met, was talk about how much he wanted to hear me play my guitar, but I never did. I can’t stop thinking about it, and I can’t stop playing the song I told him I would play. I feel like I let him down. Now i'm afraid I’ll forget that song... Now i'm afraid I'll forget everything.

[@vincentpagano4446]

I don’t know why but I feel like he’s still listening to you play

[@erinvendetti5812]

I believe he hears you. Or hell likely watches you play. And he thinks it’s the most perfect song he ever heard and you should play it more often. Don’t ya think he’s checking on ya? Be blessed.:)

[@vibe_duck]

I never tear up on anything, never once on a "super sad movie" but this comment. My god.

[@lilytimmons9556]

the true genius of this anthology is in the sampling. the first album repeats each sample over and over until you could recognize it anywhere. over the progression of the project, the melodies you know can be heard throughout. eventually they become spread so far apart from each other that when you hear it, you’re not sure that you did. by the end stages, you realize that the samples aren’t going to be playing anymore - and that you dont remember the last time you heard them.

[@n16161]

Never browsed a single video’s comments section for 6 hours before.

[@limeangelo6019]

I too have been browsing this comment section in hopes to stop my adhd from clicking away

[@NuniaBiznaz]

Bit of a shame, all of the different stages have different artwork and it's pretty nice.

[@papabroly8000]

666th like *_I'm sorry. Had to do it_*

[@nspreacts]

N. J. same man

[@michaelcarley8345]

fellow traveler here, in the middle of stage 5 and this is keeping me sane frankly, I’ve found a lot of things I would never have ever before tonight

[@teagannam]

I don’t know which is more terrifying anymore... being forgotten or forgetting yourself

[@AttractorsAltAccount]

Being dead is both. Or neither, if there is an afterlife.

[@sixkicksfightertricks949]

Forgetting yourself is worse.

[@vynrix90]

If you are forgetting yourself then you are being forgotten

[@vynrix90]

But the more I think about it the scarier it seems im just a child and...... I'm sacred of all the stuff that my life has to offer me bad or good I'm.... Scared

[@Jomester]

The universe will end at some point so everything and everyone will forever be forgotten when it happens.

[@ryforg]

I hate that it’s just a burning memory has become a meme song, it hits so hard in the right sports

[@FrontsofGranada]

Look to the bright side of it. It’s exposed a lot more people to this album, and I’m not sure if it would’ve gotten the exposure it’s gotten if not for that.

[@ryforg]

@@FrontsofGranada yeah, I also heard my friend call it the backrooms song once lmao.

[@FrontsofGranada]

@@ryforg Just gotta educate them

[@Omen_mal-bear]

​@FrontsofGranada *plays a1 from eateot* "OMG, it's the backrooms song!" "Would you like to hear k1?"

[@gusloth]

@@FrontsofGranadaexposes more people to it 🤓

[@GorillaWithACellphone]

I lost my dad in december 2023 to a disease similar to alzheimers/dementia, he had liver failure which caused chemicals to build up in his brain. Seeing the progression from Normal, to weak and confused, to him being barely coherant and unable to remember his surroundings in just 14 months was and will always be one of the most terrifying things to watch, and this album is the closest thing i’ve felt to watching it happen again

[@namesurname8474]

This gives me an uncomfortable feeling on a whole different level.

[@cosbypoop]

UNEASY LISTENING

[@goobea]

Dude same. I hate it, but I also like it for giving me these emotions in the first place

[@JaspersMoths]

This hurt my ears

[@IsomerMashups]

@@cosbypoop Inhuman music.

[@Archviste_]

its like giving me false memories im only 13 why do i have memories of dancing in a ballroom???

[@logan_page]

"Art should comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable." -Cesar A. Cruz

[@shadowfire04]

this is a quote i didn't realize i was thinking of. this is absolutely perfect for what this album makes me feel. thank you

[@pizzaman9859]

I wonder how people with dementia feel about this music.

[@horrorinfusion]

i’m definitely disturbed then

[@zk0rned]

That's probably why I feel so blissful when I listen to this album

[@rektyrektingson4668]

i like this quote.

[@micahh9351]

-its various sections have become a popular and actually not cringe meme -the original provides an excellent perspective of dementia to those who dont have it, helping the listener to understand the pain of having dementia -songs actually go pretty hard Genuine perfection. I would love to meet the artist.

[@OfficialStickminGames]

Reading the comments is part of the experience, listening to people who have also found their way here tell of dementia and it’s horrors, truly a memorial to all dementia victims

[@aboredyoutuber1642]

Well there is an old saying "Nostalgia is the Best and Worst Feeling."

[@padorupadoru8039]

it's happiness and sadness

[@262ivanh]

It is one of my favorite emotions

[@Haha-gp6hy]

Ngl it is the best and worst feeling 🤔

[@HS-bh9dz]

Old? I remember it's creation like yesterday...

[@hubert6927]

I'd would say it's the best from the worst feelings

[@mothbum5580]

You don’t need a documentary to tell how scary Dementia really is. its been more than a year, shut up.

[@Lukesharmofficial]

@@themylce3448 watch the whole album, then see how you feel.

[@zeexistingperson7867]

@@themylce3448 dementia is basically mental torture, you retain all your memories but can’t see them. You’re confused by the masses, everyone around you, you can’t recognize. I read a comment about their neighbor having such a bad case of dementia they nearly got shotgunned because the neighbor didn’t recognize them anymore Trust me it’s sad

[@blddei69]

@@themylce3448 your brain is literally rotting, you’re slowly dying and it’s not like you forget everything at once actually it would be less painful like that

[@notsotastysandwich8205]

B4 is silence...

[@notsotastysandwich8205]

B4 is silence..

[@danaelee5121]

My great grandma just passed away a couple of weeks ago, she was 85. She was my best friend and had alzheimer's since 2016. She raised me and had to move with my aunt to missouri in 2019. I still visited every 2 to 3 months. She still remembered who i was every time and this last year, as she got worse, she still lit up when i came in the room and still said i love you to me in the special way we did every since i was young. I love you mostess hostess. She never forgot that. She got pneumonia and the flu in feb, and she wasnt able to recover. She was always such a strong lady and i will forever cherish the fact i could be there the last few days she was on this earth. Listening to this helps me feel close to her in that this could have been how she felt. Its not sad, but im glad she is not confused anymore

[@Super_Samurai9553]

Sorry for your loss,Rest in peace to your great grandma.

[@danaelee5121]

Thank you ⚘️​@@Super_Samurai9553

[@itzwindows]

I'm sorry for your loss ❤

[@kakyoin_651]

I am so sorry for your loss dear

[@Number_Terminated]

My boyfriend (now over a year) showed me this video two months into our relationship. We bonded over the fact my grandfather and his 'granka' both died with Alzheimer's when we were young. I was horrified when he showed me this and certain parts. He gave me the dark realization that my grandfather was suffering while I attempted to feed him at that table. That was one of the first things my and my s/o connected on. After he went to sleep, I continued to listen to the album and cried out of sadness for my grandfather (I hadn't cried about his death until this point) and cried out of fear knowing that me or my s/o (or both) could fall into this hell. In more current times, I have seen my mother's memory and competence deteriorate after her chemotherapy. I fear that this reality may come. Regardless, thank you for opening my eyes.

[@onlyrealjesus25]

people will eventually forget you after you die but dying without the knowledge of who you were is like not even existing at all.

[@Coryclipskenshin]

dementia is so terrifying, it’s like the mind dies off before the body does.

[@joli_giiv]

Wow.... I never knew that.... dementia must be so scary....

[@beepbeeplettuce5890]

Thats literally what happens

[@aslqey]

ive never experienced forgetting something precious. basically, life. ive always forget small things, things like “oh, why did i come in here for?” or “did i do *this* or *that* yet?”. never anything tragic, huge, and desirable. it must be absolutely terrifying. especially losing it all slowly, and slowly, and slowly. till you feel like everything around you doesnt exist. your mind is so clueless, you feel dizzy, almost like the world is LITERALLY turning. i wish best for everyone that has dimentia.

[@justinfielder526]

@@nikcuteboy bro...

[@keio36yearsago89]

@@nikcuteboy same, i don’t think any one would care if i died anyways :p

[@Deamons64]

I dont want to forget. Jesus fuck. The thought of losing everything that makes me myself is far more terrifying than death.

[@twistedgwazi5727]

If I am gonna lose my memories, I'd rather die sooner than live without knowing who anyone is. Feeling like the world is scary and new every 10 minutes. I can't even imagine, I don't want to imagine.

[@inakie7756]

And you'll never even remember the fear you had of forgetting because you forgot

[@Lu-vw2tq]

you’d hate a dmt breakthrough then, i thought i was trapped in a never ending loop of what hell would be like while my thoughts of myself and who i was quickly faded until the experience was nothing but what i could only describe and fear and unfamiliarity

[@Deamons64]

@@Lu-vw2tq that sounds like an ego death my guy.

[@badrecords-6476]

Jesus is a virgin I think

[@AirStrike69]

This album is just different with depression. I’ve been severely depressed for a very long time and listening to this is actually really… *really comforting…* and I’m not joking. It feels good listening to this. It matches with the dread of depression well. Especially in some post awareness segments that makes the way ahead feel hopeless almost. On this topic, I also like this album because it reminds of… him. All I can remember about him was from when I was 7. Although I don’t recall much about him, he was a great person and he helped shape me into who I am today. I remember sitting on a deathbed where my grandpa was. His dementia was too much. He couldn’t take it anymore. He was just a rotting empty vessel. He couldn’t even talk until he had 3 minutes of terminal lucidity, which lead to his death. He told me he loved me and appreciated all of my family for putting him where he was and it made me cry. I said I loved him too and he just said “I know. Make me proud,” before finally passing and I cried myself to sleep for a long time. Long story short, I watched a loved one fight a losing battle and wither away and I was never the same since.

[@Duster_WCUE]

terminal lucidity is one of the best and worst parts about dementia/alzheimers

[@mtucker6784]

I teared up reading this. I'm so happy to hear for the lucidity part, though. It's not closure, but you were able to exchange meaningful sentences with him, even if for a very short amount of time. The depression aspect, totally get. I found a playlist on Spotify that someone put together that follows the same sequence as in this video. I'll listen to it at night before getting ready for bed, and some times forget to turn on the TV timer so it'll play all the way through on a loop. I've read some comments saying that it caused them to have nightmares, but I've found the opposite effect to be true.

[@itzwindows]

I'm so sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace ❤

[@The_Sludgeman]

well banksy did say "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable" also sorry for your loss.

[@mathsupercat9021]

"Art is meant to disturb the comforted, and *comfort the disturbed*." - Cesar A. Cruz

[@s0livagant_]

i don't usually talk about my life in comments but this is a good video for it. i think im experiencing memory loss, but at the worst stage possible. it's exhausting to try to remember, to repeat it over and over again just to forget when i stopped repeating, or what im repeating. it feels like its foggy, or that im underwater. its tiring, its easier to sink than to try to reach the surface. this being paired with dissociation is terrible. i feel so far away, from everything. no matter how hard i press down on my fingertips i will never actually feel, im too far away. its like theres a layer of something separating me from everything, and scientifically there is. but it still hurts to feel it this much. my birthday was just 10 days ago, but it feels like im already dead.. or still dead, i remember not feeling like this. but i don't remember when. i just know that im supposed to remember things and be happy but im not. i noticed i find comfort in the 'older' aesthetics. like from the 90's, or farther like in the 1800. like im stuck in the past that i havent even lived in. because the present doesnt exist and im either to far infront or too far back. atleast, thats how it feels. my dreams have been getting worse, too. theres this static, always. and i'd always dream of a play place, with the bright light and plastic ballpits. and i'd always be alone, and i'd be happy alone. sometimes a shadow lady would be there, not my mother, or anyone else. but she's great, i heard that when you die its like a lucid dream. i'd like to be there, forever. but an attempt doesnt sound that appealing, seeing 'teen boy, found dead in room from suicide' wouldnt be that appealing, no grandparent should bury their grandchild.

[@DJhuevito00]

Deberias ir a un psicologo o un terapeuta bro

[@RithuK-vv7lz]

It'll get better, hopefully Love and support from somewhere in the world :)

[@spicygolf7277]

This honestly has to be one of the greatest KZbin comments of all time.

[@lol-gb5vt]

any updates

[@s0livagant_]

@@lol-gb5vt im getting a bit better, but i have some friends i don't remember the faces of, some girls my age just wave at me and i accept it

[@AlexCAlexL]

My mom was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers. She was 50. She drove to work. She would sing. She made jokes. She was the light of my life. It's only been 5 years. She doesn't know where she is ever. Who we are. Who her grandson is. It's a disease that takes incredibly quickly and it gives nothing back. My little brother missed out on so many memories with her. And I feel robbed that now that I am old enough to appreciate her, I will never get to really have a conversation with her, as adults. I miss her but I can't even mourn her. She's still here. But she isn't.

[@user-dx3qk8dk7r]

a few years ago, my grandma was beginning to show signs of dementia and at first it was small things, like not knowing the name of something maybe once a day. 3 years later, after her husband died, it got way worse and now she barely knows her daughter, and doesn't know her sons at all, and it's really hard to watch. i try to be nice to her whenever i see her, as she only has a couple years left. i love her. her children do. and she's still aware of her issue, vaguely. stage 5 is coming soon i think. best of wishes to you man, i get how it feels. it sucks.

[@itsbeastly187]

This hurt. You ok bro 😔

[@solomonanagho3371]

Am so sorry this happened to you

[@Balkor]

Sorry to hear that

[@cyrocell]

Jesus man, Alzheimer’s is a daily fear of mine even tho I still got (hopefully) another 31 years of shit still in my brain, it kinda haunts me. I hope we find a cure to Alzheimer’s or dementia soon. Best of luck to your momma.

[@Schnoicky]

Tried learning “It’s just a burning memory” from memory on trumpet, and accidentally learned it in the wrong key. How ironic...

[@travelingghost9302]

U remember ur dog?

[@martianbuilder5945]

The original song is called "Heartaches" by Al Bowlly. It's a few semitones higher and faster than this one; you might have learned that instead.

[@Schnoicky]

@@martianbuilder5945 Funnily enough, I checked Heartaches and found that I had learned a different key from that one too. I literally accidentally learned a key that is dissonant from BOTH versions.

[@martianbuilder5945]

@@Schnoicky What about C3, E2, F4 in this video? Same song but *even lower* key and tempo.

[@nayelizombie]

Noice

[@2scents507]

Of course I had to listen to this in one of my lonelinest times in life. This album really does capture the beauty of a memory, then the reality of it slowly fading, and finally the horror & fear with it becoming nothing but something that once was. Something that can't be recovered, remembered, nothing. All this album does was remind me of how horrible it feels to lose a loved one, a best friend, a community, everyone but those closest to you. Even with them, something still feels off as they seemingly drift away from you too. By the end of it all... *I* finally realized I have lost everyone. Both literally, and metaphorically. Memories are one of the most valuable treasures we can have, and the most soul-crushing to lose.

[@ammarreacts]

So sweet 😢 i wish you happiness, even though in 100 years you and me will be gone

[@2scents507]

@@ammarreacts Thank you, it means a lot to me. It really does. ❤️

[@user-uz8sp2fx4k]

Things will get better. They always will. Just don’t give up hope.

[@illuminouswashere]

Everyone else making EATEOT referenes. Meanwhile, I am over here admiring the fact that now, amazing songs from the 1920's and 1930's that otherwise would have been lost to time, now are having new life breathed into them. Ironically, this album about forgetting, helped stop these songs from being forgotten. Ironic and beautiful.

[@samgrogan5628]

One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is grieve the loss of a person who’s still alive.

[@saenz1295]

my grandma has worsening dementia, and this comment mortified me.

[@LolLol-gd7ly]

@@saenz1295 stay strong👊

[@JRSpoon]

@@saenz1295 same. My grandma doesn’t even recognize her own children. But I hope when both of our grandmothers die, they are happy in heaven

[@trec713]

My best friend that I ever had experienced an onset of schizophrenia at 19, and lost his personality and perception of the world almost entirely. He was replaced by somebody else. I remember struggling so hard with it, and panicking and severing connections with him after his family moved him away. The closest way I could describe my feelings of this was to tell people it felt like he died. This was five years ago. Reading your words here today struck something in me and I started crying. I think you captured my thoughts and emotions on this experience perfectly. Cherish the moments with the people that you love. Don't waste time. You don't know how much of it you actually have.

[@djskizzle]

@@trec713 i’m so sorry you had to experience that. i’m sure you must’ve felt extremely horrible. i really hope it gets better for you. i really do. i know i can’t do much through a computer screen, and i may not be able to relate as i’ve never gone through that. things will be ok. stay strong.

[@01luvgrey]

this made me feel black and white in a world of color.

[@azzie9470]

Which ironically is what we boil down to

[@kmelons]

That's a really good point. I feel the exact same, oddly enough.

[@melinder3354]

@@kmelons do you remember that saying, comfort the disturbed or something?

[@ferserrano4714]

@@melinder3354 art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted is the quote you meant?

[@melinder3354]

@@ferserrano4714 ah yes thank you

[@Upholstered_]

This whole album is like waking from a nap after school

[@discokids8273]

I hate the relatability

[@TheoMarsh932]

Yea, one time i had a nap after school, I woke up hours later at around 7:30pm, when the sun was just going under and the sky was darkening, I thought it was around 4 or 5am when I woke up but when I checked the time I felt like I went back in time, I even felt confused on why my blinds were open or why I could hear my parents downstairs.

[@kiradoesnothing7938]

@@TheoMarsh932same, I woke up from an after school nap one time and forgot about everything. Soon ended up waking up on my bed, confused, thinking that I’m late for school

[@PlushAmongUs]

Imagine sleeping at stage 2, D4. Then waking up suddenly to Stage 5 synapse Retrogenesis on your second listen. couldn’t be me 💀👌

[@Kadeu]

It was you

[@danmensh4591]

In almost 10 years of watching KZbin i've never seen so many people being terrified at the same time. And now I'm one of them.

[@limeangelo6019]

Life is a scary place

[@Liv-hs6os]

Dan Mensh AM I THE ONLY ONE THATS NOT SCARED BY THIS?! it just makes me mad/nervous for some reason

[@astro_lane]

this just makes me sad tbh :(

[@dizzee6089]

I'm shittin bricks as I'm typing this

[@staleacidiccereal]

Yeh im terrified and oddly disturbed

[@Adam-de8jm]

My grandma just told us that today is November 11, 2001. She congratulated my mom on the birth of my brother (who is now 19). Came here to think about that.

[@sofija_milanovic]

im so sorry :(

[@Airman56]

Oh no...

[@seventeen4094]

im sorry hope you feel better

[@carlosalbertoyatacoalmendr7977]

:(

[@davidcanchila4045]

Hope your brother finds comfort in knowing his grandma loved him that much as to remember him.

[@mdn737]

I listened to this full almost 3 years ago . I am not going to re-listen to this again. it was a terrifying experience

[@LightProgRock]

I hated my grand mother. When she got Alzheimer, I didn’t care. When I finised listening to this masterpiece, I went to see her and gave her a hug. Nobody deserves this.

[@celestefan5731]

If you were to listen to this without any context, you'd probably be asking yourself what the hell this is. But with the context, it's just absolute dread, fear, and anguish

[@rieyza21]

Ur right, i dont understand any shit

[@rafael-qm1kt]

i actually listened to this yesterday without any context. Some friend just sent me and i started listening. At first, it was very pleasant and comforting. But some time later, songs were confusing and strange, with them just stopping abruptly. I asked a friend about the album and he told me that was an experience of simulation of dementia. I continued to listen to the album until the fifth stage when it was very disturbing and discomforting to hear. It was scary and confusing.

[@jonjared88]

@Rieyza 21 It’s to symbolize dementia, and how it gets worse overtime.

[@jar-of-bees]

@@jonjared88 bruh this is just chill lofi, all I hear at stage 5 is "this is a certified hood classic"

[@Yellowbuzz-ug6of]

@@jonjared88 I wonder if mental disorders like adhd affect the outcome, will have updated in a few hours

[@skyloski2242]

when I finished the album, I accidentally restarted the video and went back to the first song it hurt

[@nikki_vicky]

Its alright, you wont remember.

[@Soplavaginas200]

My cat have dementia....i now understand

[@flokus]

@@Soplavaginas200 what

[@gbye1181]

Same bro. Same.

[@Thefatestpoo]

Oh I guess I am restarting the vid

[@patricdepaifve2630]

I have listened to this before and felt how profound it can be. My Grandmother of 91 is now going through the last stages of dementia. She fell and broke her leg the other day, things are not easy right now. I have been listening to this again to try and put myself in her headspace. I hope she is not suffering silently in there. Love you Bomma

[@Kurts.animations]

This makes my heart pump I hope your grandma is okay :)

[@chellibrown9249]

The worst thing to grieve is the death of someone who is still breathing

[@cai1726]

my grandmother has dementia. she doesn’t even know i exist now. i use to be annoyed when she would try to teach my little cousins my name, but now- i would do anything in the world for her to remember it again. i cry just at the thought of our walks on the beach and when we sewed together. i remember all of it, but all she can do is look at me kindly trying not to be rude because she forgot about me.

[@ash_tray]

Oh this broke my heart. I have never had an experience with dementia. I thought it was just losing things and not knowing what day it was but after listening to this and reading the comments I’m terrified and heartbroken...

[@cai1726]

@@ash_tray it’s ok, she is still happy and that’s all i care about :)

[@HutchHere]

This comment section is beatiful. Several comments have made me cry. Dementia is much more than forgettings someones name, it's forgetting who they are. i wish you the best.

[@aghosttb]

Yea my dads Mom died with dementia.. she couldnt Even remember who me my brother or my Dad was..🙁

[@hossambekheet5465]

@@aghosttb that's messed up forgetting who your son is and who your grandchildren are that's terrifying and the fact that she died probably still not knowing you is so sad poor you hope you are doing well

[@Jessica-ee5nq]

This is the musical version of the saying: "How you are now, I was once. How I am now, you will be." - found on a gravestone.

[@rushylwashere]

shit

[@danielzeidan9022]

We may know who we are, but we know not what we may be.

[@serelii3606]

Ok i’m thoroughly confused- i was reading this and all the letters jumbled up. That was weird lol

[@Jessica-ee5nq]

@@serelii3606 Perhaps your mind is going Serelii....

[@Random12260]

Serelii yeah same, I think the saying is just awkwardly worded

[@mrshonk3948]

"Welcome to the salty spitoon how tough are you" "How tough am I!?" "I listened to all of EATEOT" "Yeah so???" "Without shedding a single tear"

[@Kadeu]

I've already done this

[@mrshonk3948]

@@Kadeu we got a big boy over here wow

[@scotteaker4091]

“Uhhh right this way sir…”

[@chumkibagchi128]

“Oh crap! Come right in.”

[@TheOneAndOnlyMal]

This man is immortal!

[@mariagrijalva5880]

Here are the paintings' names: Stage 1: Beaten Frowns After Stage 2: Pittor Pickgown in Khatheinstersper Stage 3: Hag Stage 4: Giltsholder Stage 5: Eptitranxisticemestionscers Descending Stage 6: Necrotomigaud (I know, some of them are crazy and don't even make sense.)

[@RzeczpospolitaPoIska]

It seems like it fits in a pattern similar to the album, like in stage 1 it is quite normal but descends into madness and random characters, like a patient with dementia, slowly losing their mind.

[@Kneecapss]

uggggghhh this makes me so sad

[@VilactDoesntSayShitYourselfNow]

i think they're also supposed to be touching emotion changing stage 3 feels like they just called someone a hag for literally no reason

[@mariagrijalva5880]

@@VilactDoesntSayShitYourselfNow idk why they call it hag

[@mariagrijalva5880]

@@Kneecapss How is it sad

[@sobog]

i'm just vibing to the music edit: i made a mistake

[@lostalyx]

my friend said that until they got to stage 4-

[@JohnFortniteKennedy_]

Me and the bois listening stage 6:

[@benlovecats]

I'm vibing rn i have a huge headache but oh well

[@miki890098]

@@lostalyx I think getting to the end of stage 3 is just enough to realize, stage 4 is just the logical consequence

[@ghdhfgh6125]

The first two hours is fine and you'd think that's a lot but the thing is 6 hours long

[@qu1nn.r]

the only thing I imagine while listening to this is rotting in a nursing home and staring at the ceiling

[@missioncontrol4662]

I can’t help but imagine that now oh no

[@aleys8044]

that’s so sad

[@jaydennn9167]

Aley S really sad

[@AM__-mf4md]

or rotting in a nursing home rocking in a chair as you look out the window far a distance waiting patiently for one of your kids, grand kids to come but they never and you all old people slowly walking around as your eyes are on the window waiting for your kids car to pull up each day just wasting your self as you get skinner and weaker slowly dying waiting... then you take your last breath and slowly let go...

[@softlyxo8252]

ice. sinz I- I hope this never happens

[@not.atlas.]

god, i remember 5 years ago today i discovered this. my papa passed away the week before this right on my birthday when i was 12. felt so lost in life and then i stumbled upon this. I sobbed so hard listening to the whole thing in one sitting. every year i somehow figure out a way to rediscover this album after forgetting it. most years ive remembered a few months after and set a date for it to not forget, but this year i didnt remember, yet it popped up on my recommended today. i miss him so much. happy 5 year anniversary.

[@flvrange1515]

sending hugs ❤

[@stridersoup6151]

i just got a notification for a comment left on this vid 3 years ago about my mother who was sick, and she passed 2 years ago. It's crazy how life changes so quickly. sending hope and support to you

[@Loafofbreb]

Today is my grandmother's death anniversary. I forgot which year she died but she died from cancer and it was really hard for my mother and my siblings. but the problem was that I never remembered her and I feel terrible for not remembering. The feeling wasn't me mourning her loss but it was mourning the loss of my family. I just wish I spent more time with her so I could relate to my family too.