The Challenges of Single Life in the Orthodox Community: A Discussion with Tzipora Grodko

[@ShlomitWasser]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this. It's all their loss. You are a beautiful person!! Would be honored to know you!!

[@helenhern893]

I have a lot to say here. I was unmarried until 33. And now have been married more than 20 years. I still painfully identify with so much of what you have been discussing. The treatment of single women, the lack of respect etc, the dreading of yom tov. I still remember and feel it. I am horrified at comments from people about freezing eggs (this technology was not common when I was single) and then telling you to have the babies on your own, because being married isn’t so great! Just totally beyond inappropriate! I am so so saddened to hear how lonely people are , how horrible shabbos has become for them. I agree so much with what you both said about living your best life. Travel, be together with friends - there is so much strength in being with people who understand your challenge. But also - if you are able to - extend yourself to be involved in chesed- it wasn’t something I was initially interested in, but it connected me with people, and gave me a real spiritual purpose that makes you internally stronger . And you are right , when Hashem decides it is time for you to meet your spouse, he makes it happen. Even when that person does not resemble what you were looking for on paper - he arranges it and makes it happen. However, I do think that Hashem makes it happen, when you extend yourself in different ways - not necessarily hishtadlus in dating, but work and changes on your spiritual self. Of course this is all my own opinion based on my personal experiences. And BH I am married now, but let us not think that life is a fairytale even after marriage, it’s not a movie, but it is better to be with someone for this ride we call life. I give both of you and all unmarried yet people a Bracha that they should live their life to the fullest and embrace their tafkid and Iyh find their person - and it should be clear when they do!

[@nummyandme]

Thank you so much for your comment. Means a lot ❤❤❤❤❤

[@TheNationofIsrael613]

I'm a baal tshuva male. Grew up secular. I did everything in my 20s. Became frum at age 31. Aint nobody looked at me like a tzadik in my 30s lol The frum world doesn't follow the Gemarra on that point. BTs are not seen as tzadikkim. We are seen as Sug Bet. Level 2. No matter what we look like. This is the reality.

[@TheNationofIsrael613]

I was born in the Soviet Union. The Jews were not religious at all...but had the same mentality about age and marriage lol

[@TheNationofIsrael613]

I think ashkenazi non-married men should wear tallit. I went to a Syrian shul and they forced me to wear one. lol

[@surilevy2079]

You are so funny!!

[@TheNationofIsrael613]

i found that the people that i've dated in a serious way as a frum guy, almost all the relationships fell on my head out of nowhere. completely when I wasn't looking at all. For some people, forcing the issue does in fact work. I find that specifically in my case, when I don't force the issue, stuff just happens. This is difficult to convey to loved ones, who are chomping at the bit and have all types of advice.

[@surilevy2079]

Do it again

[@estherhirsch4460]

Who taught these adults sensitivity and what r their kids learning.? I'm sad to hear that ppl can be so clueless

[@RealJStreets]

Come back home to Yerushalayim