The Complexities of Relationship Balance | Episode 33 | Give It To Me Straight Podcast

[@ericfitzgerald2670]

The financial situation was so annoying I had to skip. Jon is correct. Not sure how it could have been articulated better 😂

[@cindyvw]

I agree wholeheartedly. Only because my husband was also in a depressive state while the bills were all my responsibility and i was drowning. It's unfortunately something that has to be dealt with at the same time. One cannot shift life duties aside while you focus only on depression. No matter what the cause

[@TheresaSummerlin]

💯

[@lorraineortiz6900]

I completely understood Jon too! 😅

[@racheyconyeet]

Literally came to say this because I just keep waiting for Alex to catch on and it’s annoying me and she’s not getting it 😂😂

[@adri2703]

Agreed. Alex... It's not about cause it's about the consequence if this continues.

[@aboutthesigns]

I get exactly what Jon means with the financial situation and he makes perfect sense. He’s saying that regardless of what the issue is and how you got there (either gambling or grief) the priority should be making sure basic needs are being met before dealing with the reason you got there in the first place.

[@giveittomestraight]

THANK YOU FUCK (This is Jon) 😂😂😂

[@rudigomez]

Agree

[@AmySobieski-m6o]

I totally get Jon in the depression story. As hard as depression is(I have depression) telling that loved one that’s suffering we may be in trouble or losing the house or something along those ways, might be an ignition to make the husband get help and get himself back on track.

[@germainechng4072]

Jon’s point is valid. Alex eventually just seem to be arguing to make her point accepted instead of considering Jon’s POV. Jon is right that to ensure the couple stay together, someone in the relationship need to ensure finance health even while someone is still down depression.

[@ananabami6723]

This episode should’ve been titled “Jon being a savage for 1hour”😂

[@giveittomestraight]

Just giving it to everyone straight 😂😂

[@OliveTree87]

I get it. The financial urgency needs to be addressed so they don't have bigger problems and also fixing the mental health. She should also take a job outside her industry if the need is that dire.

[@Gxport]

Jon has a good point about making sure you are financially stable first when your partner is not at 100% for whatever the reason (grief or addiction). Trying to make sure you are financially ok first is within your power. If the parter gets help is not in your power.

[@jaz2361]

John was 100% with the financial situation! Put your depression on pause cause we about to lose it all ! That’s what being a adult and good parent does when we hit mouths to feed

[@carlaurrutia5912]

Financial hardship is financial hardship regardless on how that issue came about. I’m with Jon.

[@candacegracia6821]

I think Jon made sense. I was picking up what he was putting down 😂. Even though you want to be supportive, if you need to feed your children sometimes feelings have to be put to the side man. Not that you don’t care but you don’t want your kids to suffer. I get you Jon!

[@amandag7086]

Exactly your bills don’t care your sad, I know it’s hard but they don’t they keep going even when you’re life is filled upside down

[@annahburge2022]

I will say I understand Jon completely about the financial and grieving question!!🤣 He was just saying before you get help for his mental health you need to make sure your finances are good!!🤣🤣🤭

[@cheyennechristine2755]

I’m listening to this episode at work but I had to come on here JUST to leave this comment - Jon’s point is VALID oh my god. I love Alex but this was painful 😂 The man being depressed is not the same as the man gambling, but in both situations the woman needs to assess the financial situation FIRST and know what needs to be dealt with to make sure they’re safe. Can’t help him go to therapy or deal with his grief if they’re out on the streets. I think if Jon hadn’t brought up the other story at all, Alex would’ve agreed that assessing the finances is important, but it was gambling part that I could tell she was getting stuck on. Absolutely love this podcast and both of you 😂🫶🏼.

[@giveittomestraight]

Lol we need to work on our communication 😅

[@tattoodhobomom]

As someone that has dealt with grief and the financial issues that come along with it. You have to let THEM experience the financial issue first hand. I don’t mean trying to motivate them - which is difficult while grieving, but maybe letting the power go out because you couldn’t afford the power bill, or getting that eviction notice on the door. Are these the most productive ways to get someone motivated? No, but they are very real and that’s the wake up call that helped me when my boyfriend of 10 years passed away. I let my depression dig a hole in my life, contemplated death, and finally when I realized I had no money in the bank and he was never coming back, I needed to get a job and start putting my life back together because that’s what he would have wanted for me. I bet that his sister wouldn’t want to see her brother loosing his livelihood and putting his family on the street.

[@AudreyMiller-g3o]

I totally get it and understand what you are saying. I have been there myself after severe loss of my partner at only 29 years old. But I just have to remind you that this person has children. It is not fair on them to make them live without power or get evicted from the only home they have ever known, because their dad can’t pull himself out of a horrible and heartbreaking incident. This mother needs to protect her family and do whatever is needed to save her kids from neglect and trauma. Not to mention if she lets the power go off and the kids tell their teacher or another parent, this mother/family will have to deal with CPS on top of the depression and financial issues they’re already dealing with. She may need to take her kids to the grandparents and they live there for awhile while the husband stays home and the power and water get shut off, or he gets an eviction notice, so that he sees the real circumstances, without the children being hurt during the process.

[@ashley.actual]

i was in the same situation as the girl with the fiancé with the helicopter parents. i moved from North Carolina to California to create space and it’s the best thing i’ve ever done. for anyone else in that situation, make sure your partner knows that you will choose them and then actually choose them. set boundaries with your parents and/or move farther away. the first year of marriage is the best/most difficult. you don’t want nosy, controlling parents getting in the way. cut the apron strings❤

[@Cassper11]

RE: not always having a lot to talk about with your partner. Jon: “join the fucking club” 😂

[@giveittomestraight]

😂😂

[@cindyvw]

Brilliant

[@AimsLove]

For the record - I would have also compared the two financial situations. Regardless of how they got there, both women had to figure out how to make sure the family was okay and not losing their house…

[@Tejx15]

I also had to skip the financial situation. Jon, just say "i can compare whatever the fuck i want" and move on. I agree with you. Sorry Alex. 😂

[@gracemiller3861]

I agree with Jon. I think he had a really good point. I understand that getting out is going to be different but the financial aspect is really important.

[@nandi.p.e]

I agree with Jon regarding financial stability over emotional in that situation. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: physiological needs such as food and shelter comes before “love and belonging”. Make sure your family is physically ok and then focus on your bfs mental state.

[@bansheeboss8457]

More passion More energy 🤣💀 This episode was 🔥

[@giveittomestraight]

Thank you!!!

[@jrr2045]

I totally agree with Jon about the financial situation. Just getting through the day financially is something I have been through. And I have been depressed at the same time. Sometimes you just don't have the luxury of addressing your mental health issues before anything else. Some people aren't that lucky, and literally have to whip themselves to go to work in spite of being massively depressed. Often people can't afford mental health care because they don't make enough money.

[@jerryparedes]

This is one of the best episodes, I think both came with tons of energy and it translated into a very snappy, back-and-forth, funny episode. Love the vibe, the honesty and the dynamic of these guys... the hillarious short videos got me to follow them; but now I'm more into the podcast (is the one podcast that I watch on weekly basis). Greetings from El Salvador!

[@xihopeuwinx]

I agreed w jon over the financial tiff BUT thank you Alex for finishing the questions when he didn’t care to hear 😂don’t leave me in suspense!!!!

[@cvg5184]

A year later and I completely understand and agree with Jon on the financial POV.

[@jenniferbarr834]

Jon made a solid point the woman in this situation needs to work the problem from both ends; address the depression but also check in on the Financials. Those go hand in hand. If she is trying to keep their relationship afloat you can't ignore the underlying financial situation that could also sink their relationship.

[@saraflorenca355]

Love you guys so much😊 your content always makes me smile, btw I’m from Portugal 🥰

[@giveittomestraight]

Thank you so much!!!

[@karinasanchez8991]

I work Monday nights and get off Tuesday morning and I just loooove watching y’all!!! You make my crappy mornings so much better! Alex your so beautiful and smart! John cracks me up he always has great advice! I love how you both compliment eachother! John is husband goals! We love a supporting husband!Sending all the love and support from Texas ❤❤❤

[@giveittomestraight]

Thank you!!!!❤❤❤

[@Foxobot]

So about the gift giving: My father has a mostly non-existing relationship with his sister despite living half an hour away. My mother wanted us to have a great relationship with our cousins, but as the years went on, we just saw them less and less as my aunt kept making excuses of why they couldnt attend Christmas or get together. It got to a point where my mom bought presents for my cousins every year and would have to take the name tags off the unclaimed gifts and see if the presents were still age appropriate for their younger siblings. She had about 50 presents of unclaimed gifts, years old, that were wrapped, taking up space, and collecting dust. The return dates would pass as my aunt flaked. I had to convince mom to stop buying more and trying to make time for people who obviously didnt want to see us. It really broke my moms heart.

[@matthewgomez13]

Love the passion and energy this episode Jon!

[@yaramurillo2935]

Merch ideas for Give it to me Straight... 1. Communication! 🎶 2. Straight Up, Break Up or Just Break Up 3. Love Dr. Jon ❤ 4. Alex's face when laughing 5. "You're my ick this week" 6. "I wasn't breastfed"

[@giveittomestraight]

All great ones !

[@HelloBunny4000]

I'm down for "you're my ick this week" hahah

[@daniellecuriel6788]

I’m gonna use that all the time now “because Inwasnt breastfed” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@xihopeuwinx]

I wasn’t breastfed THE BEST , I would buy that just because

[@nikospodcast]

Jon with the mad energy in that into lets gooooo. So Jon had coffee taco bell and has his crocs on to achieve that energy 🎉lol.

[@giveittomestraight]

The triple threat ✊✊

[@juuulisuh520]

I just got Invisalign last week! I also had braces years ago which my parents paid for so I completely understand you Alex! Anyway, my dental insurance paid for 2k, I had no idea it would and even my dentist was surprised because it’s a cosmetic thing. Sooo it’s worth checking to see if your insurance covers some of it!

[@xihopeuwinx]

That’s actually good to know since it’s insurance time rn, but we’re you also breastfed ? 😂

[@jessicawon8935]

As a woman, Jon was right about the financial situation. I’m sorry about the issues that led to a bad financial crisis, but a dude with kids should not forget about his family. Totally understood the comparison 👍🏼

[@pillowpupadventures3199]

You guys are soooo fun! I am addicted to your podcast! ❤️❤️ Love from Prague💌

[@giveittomestraight]

❤❤ thank you!!

[@alashiabarnes20]

I get what John is saying. No matter the situation, be it mental health etc, you have to make sure your not out on the street before you start unpacking the emotional box. Alex got hot fast and Jon could barely get his thought out damn girl damn!

[@killarose4900]

Jon’s so funny he doesn’t even need to hear the whole question for know what is being asked is stupid LOL

[@10113sarah]

For the financial aspect, both of them were right. Jon was making a logical connection but she was talking about the emotional aspect of a separate issue

[@caridaddy19]

omg i love that alex was a server SHE GETS IT

[@jessicarlopez1319]

Hey guys I've worked in pest control for almost 20 years, in order to completely rid a rodent issue, you have to do exclusion work and then trap whatever remains inside to home. Or else they'll just come and go as they please...as it's getting colder out and they're looking for shelter. Love you guys 🩷

[@Wowoman01]

100% agree with Jon about the financial situation. The path there doesn't matter bc at the end of the day the bill delinquency won't be forgiven due to the situation of how they got there. Financial instability will likely cause more mental, and relationship instability.

[@jeanniceschillary1875]

Of all the episodes, I laughed the most during the intro of this one 🤣 Jon, anytime you need to explain why you can’t something just say,” Sorry I wasn’t breastfeed” 🤡

[@giveittomestraight]

😂😂😂😂

[@mamiacolor]

This is like free therapy for me 😅 I heard the questions and realize I'm not so fu*#ed up 😂 thank u!

[@zeniamaya7348]

I see where Jon is coming from with the depressed husband. My bffs husband was also ina similar situation when his brother died and my bff was so stressed trying to make ends meet while he wasn’t working. I also told her to save money just in case he took her and their kids down with him

[@nin6876]

48:25 Jon: EXCUSES! YES, Bro, YESSSSS!

[@DelaneyWalker]

This one was hilarious 🤣 y’all were on one today ready to go😂😂😂

[@elliet1754]

45:18 as someone who has completely become estranged from my older sister. Dont worry about trying to fix the relationship if she makes constant maneuvers to be unpleasureable or cause you a headache. Over 5 years since speaking to her and my life is so much better. My parents used to gove my sister the same slap on the wrist- "shes family" "but shes your sister" " she didnt/wouldnt do that", it took my sister becoming a complete b*tch to my parents for them to realize what I've said for years, theyve tried to "vent" to me about it and i just remind them that what i said before wasnt lying and that shes their child and their problem to have. Im done talking about her behavior. It was hard because of my nephew, who is so intelligent, and has always known that the relationship with her was not exactly great. He still wishes to have a relationship with all of us. We try to show him that we love him still and always will. The OP should still continue with gifts as kids remember those things and can over their growth make the decision to have a relationship with them. Its a tough decision but your peace is your biggest priority and fuck what ypur parents opinion is about it. They arent taking the brunt of her toxic behaviors.

[@bansheeboss8457]

The banter at the end had me crying laughing. Fucking hilarious

[@tiffanygomez9887]

Jon makes sense.

[@darianalexi]

I understand what John is saying though; it’s a luxury to be depressed, the wife has to snap her husband out of it so they can take care of their kids. It can’t always be about how we feel or in this case how he feels. He has an obligation to his family to take care of them regardless of his mental health. That’s the reality.

[@alisonvargas4229]

depressed is not a luxury that’s just rude to say, like grieving is HARD. Idk if you ever lost someone close to you, but as someone who lost their dad it was hard and depressing. Grieving takes time and it is different in everyone, but I know if he gets the right help he’ll realize he needs keep going to provide and help his family

[@anushkaleroux9517]

Yessss! The same thing happened to me with my braces 😂

[@josiexcouture]

I'm here for the Kobe shot at 26:12

[@ananabami6723]

“Next question” 😂

[@fionale1627]

@Alex you can get a new retainer when the old one gets nasty. But I am where you are now because I was lazy - getting Invisalign 😂. Love you guys ❤️❤️❤️

[@justbeinhien5790]

A new retainer costs like 300 dollars 😭

[@TheresaSummerlin]

Yep I agree… scam… I got braces twice… and my teeth shifted back… the ortho said I had stubborn teeth 🥴

[@beancheese3148]

With the last question about the relationship of seven years between the 28 year old woman bread winner and 42 year old male partner, I have something to say about it. She said he brought up the rings just before the trip and asked how she would like to be asked. Usually, couples will talk about rings for months. Especially with her having a well paying job, I’m sure he would want her to have a nice ring even if he’s not a great gift giver. I understand her wishing things had gone the way she wanted it to, but ultimately the proposal is pretty much the man’s biggest moment in wedding prep. After that it’s all about the bride. I know some men who have planned the way they’d want to ask since they were kids. Let him come up with his way in his time. I just think it’s a little odd that she immediately started talking down about all the things he doesn’t pay for. It seems like they agreed for things to be split that way or she’s always taken the initiative in that realm. Don’t get upset about it now if it’s not going exactly how you planned.

[@BaxtorArtard]

Per the botox; I'd like to add a thought to both of your sides in thinking. As long as the cost of it isn't an issue or will not become an issue, & lastly if the botox were to end & any negative impacts [if any] crop up that she would be willing to accept is all hunky dory, by all means 'she do what she gone go do' :D . BTW 5 Stars, would recommend. Keep up the good content!

[@flac052]

But if someone is willing to lie about something so miniscule, what else would they lie about??

[@haleygarner4667]

You landed the plane and I completely understand the comparison. I’m a woman too just for the record lol.

[@cindyvw]

Lol i listen to the podcast on google podcasts so i never see the video. Whenever they do the adverts i always wonder how the sponsor feels about it.. it always seems so toungue in cheek. Today i am watching the video.... Jon is doing animation as welllll 😂😂😂 i cant hahaha

[@giveittomestraight]

Ads are fun!!!!

[@tammytiller5795]

How do you submit questions?

[@sunwarrior5999]

6:21 I literally spit my almond milk from my breakfast onto my phone. 😂😂😂

[@FLbby301]

I used to be a gift giver and do cutesy little things for my now husband when we were just bf/gf and he realizes now if he doesn’t do anything back for me then I won’t either. I’ll just gift myself stuff. 😅 it is what it is🤣 but that lady has time rn before marriage to get an equal partner that’s love language is gift giving!

[@MellaDesignLtd]

Jon is 100% correct when he's trying to address the financial situation. It's not how you got there, like Alex is saying. It's the fact that you're there and you're going to be in trouble if you don't address a way forward. Both the gambling couple and the grieving couple got to shitty financial stages, where one partner kind of needs to step up and find a way to help the other out or at least open their eyes to the fact that shit's just going to get worse if you don't pull yourself together. They're definitely comparable! I think Alex is just being very sensitive over the grieving couple because like they said, you're walking on eggshells over the topic.

[@KaraCoronado-v9t]

Alexxxxxxx - lol youre going to have to wear a nightly retainer for life after your done with Invisalign. So with that being said, Jon don't make fun of her lol. Brush the retainers daily and get the UV light retainer case to disinfect. Its not expensive from amazon and works great in keeping it bateria free and smell free

[@racheyconyeet]

I bet after seeing all these comment Jon feels so righteous and validated 😂😂

[@giveittomestraight]

Yea he’s feeling himself for sure 😂

[@anthonyrodriguez4607]

“CoMunicatiooon” 🤣😎

[@giveittomestraight]

You love hearing it and we love singing it 🤣🤣

[@war5561]

It is a scam. I spent 5yrs in braces. FIVE. And when I got them off my orthodontist was like ‘you need your wisdom teeth removed so you might have to come back and see me once you get them pulled because your teeth will shift.’ Bish I will NEVER.

[@justbeinhien5790]

I’m in dental hygiene school and the amount of patients we have had that have been SCREWED by dentist/ orthodontists is crazy. Rule #1: if they say they will do braces while you have your wisdom teeth in, RUN! Rule #2: if it seems like they’re rushing your corrections, RUN. If they try to rush the movement it can lead to bone loss/ periodontitis.

[@rudigomez]

Jon made all the sense…

[@giveittomestraight]

Boom!!!🎉🎉

[@eyesofpurpose2219]

The question about the sister relationship… my advice would be no gifts will be mailed, only given directly to them in person. Even if the gifts are late or early, give them when you see the kids. If you don’t see them return the gifts to the store. For all we know the sister could claim the gifts are from herself to her own kids without ever saying they are from their Aunt. So the kids may never even know that the Aunt cares about them anyway.

[@elexus9250]

Omg it's hair and teeny feets 🥺🥺🥺I can't wait to meet mine.

[@Gxport]

The retainer you had in 8th grade, you could have asked your dentist to make you a new nighttime retainer before your teeth shifted. Age yes, you should have never stopped wearing your retainer at night ideally. But we’re human 😊

[@lsaideOK]

I've worked in the restaurant field. As a cook. If the place is open, come on in.

[@KaraCoronado-v9t]

Dental ins does not cover invisalisn. Sometimes some places give discounts for it now and again. Like mine gave a $2000 discount but still had to pay $4500 for it out of pocket, but thats what Care Credit is for if they accept that.

[@Mancalashawty]

Jon and Alex slay

[@giveittomestraight]

Thank you so much!!!❤❤

[@Gxport]

Dental insurance does partially cover Invisalign just like it would partially cover other braces. I have Invisalign right now too 😅

[@Mancalashawty]

Not all insurance are the same and cover the same costs

[@emmauecker123]

NOT A LEAF TO A FERRARI 🤣🤣🤣

[@justicegrillot4872]

Listen I gotta get on Jon’s ass about this braces shit. I had braces for SIX FUCKING YEARS. When I got them off they said I couldn’t have a permanent retainer. So I had to sleep in my retainers but every morning I would wake up and they would be on the ground or at the bottom of my bed. 🤣 sometimes you just can’t help the way your teeth life is set up. Even when I told them my retainers wouldn’t stay in they were like ah fuck off. You can’t have a permanent one lol

[@beyzadamburaci2390]

Oh my goooodddd i couldn't get through the financial part, she wasn't even open to understanding his point.

[@andersonvieira2052]

John smells.. hey, who doesnt? lol

[@trailerparkelf]

Jon's point: Your family's survival and stability should take trump over your own depression at the loss of your sister. Agree. This is what it means to be an adult, not just a man. Alex's point: His comparing the Gambling story with this one struck a nerve to her because in one story, the guy is an asshole and the loss of money isn't as important as leaving his ass, but in this story, the guy isn't human trash and is just a good guy grieving. The comparison felt forced to her. I think her point is valid too, but the topic got more confusing the longer it went on.

[@martinjimenez7392]

It looks like they’re students in a classroom lol

[@maude.n]

How does one put their depression on pause? I would love to know lol. The two stories are simply not comparable just because there is financial hardship in both. Love the podcast and love even more that they don't always agree, two POV is always better than one.

[@angelak.winbon1225]

Insurance covered 50% of my Invisalign 😉

[@lilyvenegas7144]

Jon being annoyed at the stupid questions 😂 and if people give Jon crap about his response, well hello YOU ask stupid questions- what do you expect 😂 play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[@ThisIsKassia]

Did we just skip over the part where she pays for everything, but she was 21 and he was 35 when they go together?!?!?

[@pamelasutton3055]

I need a BREAK UP shirt!!

[@karenlynn1720]

Jon you keep saying it wrong 😭 its more passion more passion more energy more energy

[@giveittomestraight]

🙄 of course he did

[@Mossy_Joan]

I can’t believe no one is talking about it. That girl was 27 and the man was in his 40’s. They’d been together for 7 years. He groomed her. And takes all her money. That’s disgusting.

[@khrystynashevchenko]

My brain clearly works like Jons 😅

[@villlahuevos]

Omg - if y’all did an episode for only traumatic hamster stories lmao

[@Lachuyota]

I think everyone has a traumatic hamster story 😂

[@juliefraser5304]

Ummmm Jon was 1000% correct in his comparison and explanation

[@andersonvieira2052]

You cannot put botox or cut your entire hair wihout telling your spouse, because sometimes you can come out ridiculous and your spouse will need to look at you and stay with you, even though he already liked you... It's stupidity to think otherwise. You cannot exagerate on looks and end up needing love while looking ridiculous from so many procedures.

[@francesramsey5884]

Jon, I think what you’re trying to get at touches on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In a nutshell, basic “physiological” needs such as food, shelter, etc must be met before other higher level needs like “safety needs” like employment, health

[@Chellooo__]

When you get braces you have to wear your retainer every night. They will move unless you have those permanent retainers. I still have mine from 8th grade 😭😂 I’m 30 now

[@charmyQLA]

I had braces*** you definitely cant keep the same overnight retainer forever and I don't believe they expect you to use it forever. Also a "permanent" retainer you still are expected to get removed at some point later on. It will get gross or break after a while. So no matter what your teeth will move eventually. I'm probably going to do the same as Alex at some point and get Invisalign. No biggie 💁‍♀️ Also I feel your pain Alex my boyfriend has good teeth and eyes. He's so proud, jerk. 😂

[@beccaparker8504]

Rats are the best pets❤

[@AudreyMiller-g3o]

I absolutely love you Alex, but your not getting it. Jon is correct here. Regardless of the issue that got you there, the priority has to be taking care of your family. If your husband cant get out of this rut, you have to save your family. You said one situation you leave someone and the other you don’t, but that’s not correct. If her husband can’t drag himself out of this depression, she has to save her family. She has to protect her kids. Of course keep encouraging her husband to get help and support him. But she has to look out for herself and her kids. Survival is surviving regardless of what crappy situation got you into hardship. Her husband clearly needs help, but she can’t sit by and let her entire family fall apart. Jon is correct here.

[@tinytaylor1109]

I think we all get what he means and agree lmao

[@Musings-and-Meow]

No moving doesn't do it.whatsapp allllllll day. Edit i get his point about the finances

[@Addison737]

Having an abortion is horrible, but having an abortion without the father even knowing you’re pregnant is disgusting