The Conservative Christian Feverdream of Halo

[@tumbleweedfish]

I think Big Daddy has changed me permanently. Not really for the worse or the better, but I don't think I'll ever be the same.

[@Crowcaller]

I read these books over a year ago and I agree

[@coffeefrog]

Well, this is one of the strangest comments to read before watching a video.

[@edgarallenhoe3518]

I think the worst thing about the Nazi girl is that she doesn't go to hell for being a Nazi. She goes to hell for her one small act of kindness towards a Jewish person.

[@Matthias-of-Redwall]

You're right! That's so messed up, I didn't notice that until you pointed it out and that makes it so much worse

[@birb5306]

omf what

[@naranara1690]

Ah yes, the mortal sin of doing right by God's chosen people.

[@froginatub]

I need you to know I scrolled into the comments before getting very far into the video and "I think the worst thing about the Nazi girl" took me all the way out. Just. Oh. So *that's* the kind of book this is gonna be.

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

@@froginatub I felt like I got hit by a bus reading that sentence

[@chaotic.content]

the fact that sex and nazis are considered to be on the same level of "bad" I'm -

[@the_last_ballad]

I mean, each sperm cell is a potential human life, and do you know how many die just for one to become a zygote(not a baby, or even a fetus, just the zygote)? Way more than the Holocaust. It's dumb, but if you're so concerned about human life that you reject that it has value, then it makes sense.

[@Topdoggie7]

Sex is letting someone into your body, Nazis is. . . Far worse. But the church loves to say everything can be forgiven soooo.

[@Haverlock]

The horny police comes for all

[@kitkat-nu5ck]

Just clicked on the video. What

[@MissaBrevis]

I wish I was surprised, but honestly this absolutely tracks with what I know of American fundamentalism.

[@friendlyghosthost1830]

I’m not even religious and I’m offended by the fact that beth is constantly treated like a damsel in distress despite being a literal ANGEL.

[@Crowcaller]

She doesn't do anything! At all! Except the bizarre bit in book two where suddenly she throws arson bricks and SEALS A GIRLS MOUTH SHUT

[@Saphia_]

@@Crowcaller Excuse me?

[@thedarklrd6714]

​​@@Crowcaller _arson bricks?_ That sounds hilarious and really stupid at the same time.

[@rustkitty]

Okay I get it, Lucifer is called Big Daddy and he is dressed like a stereotypical pimp complete with an ornate pimp staff. Still, whenever I hear "Big Daddy" I picture one of those deep sea divers from Bioshock and that makes the whole thing much funnier.

[@Crowcaller]

Canonically he's called big daddy because he's southern and views himself as god 2, thus instead of Father he is Daddy (because he's hip)

[@maybemablemaples2144]

@@Crowcaller I....no I didn't want that. I didn't need this knowledge.

[@eldrichnemo9312]

I just hear Rue McClanahan

[@aegisScale]

The devil being a giant fuckin diver robot with a giant drill arm sounds metal as hell.

[@teslashark]

He looks like Snowflame

[@covenscribe]

Big daddy possessed you to do a southern accent and then broke your light bulbs lmao

[@Crowcaller]

And I feel Big Daddy in this house tonight U_U.......

[@Evilkritter]

Seeing this channel take off is like seeing a racecar going 120mph come into view around a corner. Impressively fast

[@Crowcaller]

I hope so! I have sooo much to do but it doesn't take too long to make reviews like this- from my backlog. New books take more work but I know KZbin's algorithm will punish me if I don't do a fast release at least at first!

[@steff6146]

@@CrowcallerYou make SUCH good content, I’ve been hooked since the very first video I’ve seen by you. You’re so amazing. Keep going!!!!! You have a fanbase for real ❤

[@viciousbagel]

love that the author follows the cw supernatural’s plotline of “god is just kinda busy right now even though satan is planning an uprising”

[@Topdoggie7]

God is a fanfiction writer in Supernatural is one of my favorite things.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

It feels like when a massive world ending disaster happens in a superhero movie but the one character who could easily defeat the villain is on vacation

[@eilir_adron]

lol i'm writing a story where the characters think lucifer is plotting an uprising and he's like "no wtf why i would want anything to do with that i have power over an entire plane of existence rn lmao why would i want earth"

[@epicgamer-ny4fj]

@@eilir_adron "also, me an God kinda got this pretty sick gig going on, I don't really wanna like.. mess with that? Anyways, see you in a few years!"

[@saintdude6032]

I just imagine: "Where's God in all of this?" "He's... He's busy" *Cuts to God in a DND game with angels or whatever*

[@hayley5257]

You had me at "lucifer is called big daddy"

[@Crowcaller]

I wish he wasn't ://

[@AdaTheWatcher]

Satan is in bioshock?

[@haraberu]

>I'm sorry daddy, I've been very naughty... >How many times have I told you, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned" They really did inadvertently take something that others consider a punchline to a joke, and turn it into a plot point.

[@lilmshalloween13]

The part where Gabriel explains what a milf is is the only thing I remember from this book and I've been thinking about that for 10 years

[@Crowcaller]

I wish I had kept the quote and used it here, it was incredible

[@oogaboogabe3464]

Please I need to find this. My name is gabe

[@zoeb3573]

I'm sorry archangel Gabriel does WHAT

[@guggelguggel7491]

Sorry whenever I think of Gabriel I think of ULTRAKILL Gabe, and the mental image... "MACHINE. You do not know of M.I.L.Fs? They were the greatest Temptation of Lust, tricking many a men and women into partaking in the Sin of Lust... And consequently, I Struck them Down in the name of God." (Or something. I kinda suck at his speech pattern)

[@wolftitanreading5308]

@@zoeb3573 Gabriel has always been a milf man XD

[@zerozeroren]

Can't help but imagine the main heroine as Bethany from Girl Defined, and I'm not sure whether it makes the whole experience better or worse XD

[@Crowcaller]

An accurate fan cast

[@missxfaith]

Oh no, same!!! I tried to read the first book a couple years ago and that’s ALL I could think about 😩😩😩

[@morley364]

Considering how proud they were of their Nazi grandpa, it would also be perfect for the absolutely indifference the character has toward Jake being a Nazi.

[@UnraveledAnarchy]

OMG that's hilarious

[@knighttrax4237]

As a goth it is so funny to me that some people just assume goth is about worshipping satan, or that we are all depressed and on drugs. It’s literally just a music based subculture, and it has nothing to do with religion at all. We just love the music lol. Anyways awesome review. 😊

[@Crowcaller]

I'm goth too! Not in this outfit admittedly. But I don't like goth music, I think of it way more as a clothing, lifestyle, and mood thing.

[@knighttrax4237]

@@Crowcaller Oh cool. To me Goth is all about the music since that’s the foundation and the main core of the subculture. Everything else like the fashion plays second place to it. I hope you don’t mind here’s some recommendations that got me into the music: Band(Songs) 1. London after midnight (Sacrifice,Black Cat) 2. Drab Majesty (Ellipsis, Too Soon to Tell) 3. Minuit Machine (Honey, Everlasting) 4. WINGTIPS (The Eye that follows suit, Deaf Pursuit) 5. Twin Tribes (Dark Crystal, Shadows)

[@sixrabbits3972]

@@knighttrax4237 Those are some excellent recommendations!

[@knighttrax4237]

@@sixrabbits3972 Thank you! When people interested in the goth subculture say they don’t like the music I give recommendations that are not the classic 80’s bands like The Cure, Bauhaus, Siouxsie & the banshees, etc. And they hopefully find bands and songs they like. 🖤

[@silkwaxwing]

@@knighttrax4237 taste ! hello fellow twin tribes enjoyer.

[@elizabethburton2858]

really need the paranormal romance folks to write me a paranormal romance where the love interest is a biblically accurate angel

[@Crowcaller]

You're not the first to mention it. Some indie indie author must have by now as a joke.... Right? I love the "theologically accurate angel" joke but I stg my next video might well be a presentation on angels and why that term is a pet peeve. If no one has written it I may have to step in ://

[@TaoScribble]

I feel like you'd have better luck turning to manga for that one, honestly.

[@tiraXpyrrha]

Isn't that just Shin Megami Tensei?

[@chansesturm7103]

@@Crowcaller Could you explain why that's a pet peeve? It is for me, too, but I'm curious if our reasons are similar.

[@phibs2276]

@@Crowcaller I'd love a video on that topic! I'm blissfully ignorant on biblical stuff and any kind of discussion by someone who is as deep into the topic as you would probably be very interesting

[@SongWitch]

You: “It starts in Buchenwald…” Me, screaming in disbelief: NO!

[@onceuponabook7838]

If I found out angels and demons were running around my town on missions for good and causing chaos for evil, I'd tell them to keep it under control because I have work and don't want my weekends interrupted.

[@SrslyTony]

Angels and demons really are just cats and dogs with a love hate relationship with their owners 😂

[@pleasantchimera3285]

i will say your talk about Christian theming for the first book is interesting cause the point of "people go to church and better themselves not for actual betterment but for angel clout" and while that really doesnt sell Christianity to prospective readers, as someone who grew up christian that is very accurate to how a lot of christians are

[@Crowcaller]

A sick burn. Yeah........... Yeah

[@bluedragonfly8139]

It really is.

[@mistywindow16]

It's all about getting brownie points to get to heaven for a lotta people I know

[@somedragonbastard]

I grew up catholic qnd I mostly went to cburch for the free donut holes and lemonade in the summer

[@whatsmoothbeast5177]

I clicked hoping to learn something new about Master Chief but this was also pretty good.

[@Crowcaller]

I can't top what BDG did for the halo books so I must focus on my angel ones instead

[@SavorySoySauce]

Weapons are part of Chief’s religion. He preaches in 7.62x51mm NATO

[@danielbroome5690]

@@SavorySoySauce "And doth the 10 tonnes of Tungsten did striketh him, and he the Scarab was smited on the street of New Mombasa and was expelled in a Holy fire."

[@julesmallow]

it took me 7 full minutes into the review to be like "wait a minute... I don't remember angels in halo"

[@optiquemusic6204]

If you're going to call Halo a "shitty alien game," you clearly don't know anything about the Halo games. You're probably not a gamer, so I wouldn't expect you to, nor blame you. Oohhh, SHOOTY Alien Game. Still a basic understanding of Halo.

[@clairevanderspoel1668]

as soon as you talked about how THIS angel YA talked about sex I was like; jeez imagine reading this and then Sweet Evil (horniest YA angel series ever) straight after. The whiplash would break your neck.

[@MinoriGaming]

About that girl who went to hell for seemingly no reason. I should preface this by stating I am not Christian nor did I grow up with a Christian education, but from the exposure to Christian doctrine I have had, I think what the book was trying to say was that she went to hell for the Deadly Sin of Lust. She'd fallen for the older boy, presumably because she was attracted to him carnally, and ultimately ended up taking the fall for him after the drunk driving accident as a result of that. Given that when she went to hell and her punishment was to be raped by demons in a nightclub for eternity, and Hell's punishments are often said to correspond to a sinner's misdeeds in life, it'd connect that her punishment for the sin of lust is to be at the mercy of a bunch of lustful demons. Now I want to be DEAD clear here, I agree with you that she did NOT deserve to go to hell for what she did, I'm just talking from the perspective of conservative christian doctrine as I understand it. It's victim blame-y as hell but that' comes with the territory, really.

[@Crowcaller]

It's hard to say. I think it's just that she's responsible for that boy's death and never paid for it by reporting the crime, even though her drunk boyfriend was the one truly responsible? And also the mentioned fact she wasn't Christian. But it's a bit unclear and definitely seems so extreme and unresolved

[@MrPooleish]

"These angels are hot so I'm going to _______" is uncomfortably close to a straight reading of the destruction of Sodom.

[@MrPooleish]

With the information that the author didn't consider "Angels questioning God's authority" to be a red flag, I'm beginning to suspect this author is a "Christmas and Easter" Christian. Or just wrote a Christian YA Supernatural Romance for kicks.

[@MrPooleish]

JFC, "Neo-Nazi, Fallen Angel, Archduke of Hell, Jake Thorne" feels like someone desperately trying to one-up "actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf"

[@naolucillerandom5280]

I could swear I once read a chapter in a book that was exactly that.

[@the_last_ballad]

​@@MrPooleish don't insult Jake like that, he clearly was an OG Nazi /s

[@Theanine95]

I laugh so hard at the rejection scene between the angel and the highschool girl. This has to be the most brutal one I've ever heard of lmao 🤣

[@the_last_ballad]

And they almost stuck the landing of exploring a one sided crush of a student on a teacher. But then they couldn't help themselves and had the teacher reciprocate, despite not even being human or made to love.

[@sorcerersapprentice]

Fun fact: Apparently the author of this series was like Christopher Paolini where she published this when she was a teenager. The author even published an article talking about how teenaged girls should strive to get a partner just like Edward Cullen thanks to her believing that he's a gentleman and "isn't afraid of commitment", despite him being extremely toxic. While the article is down now, you can still access it through the Wayback Machine. Explains a lot, doesn't it?

[@Crowcaller]

Yeah I totally had forgotten she was 16 at the time!

[@johannageisel5390]

@@Crowcaller That explains a lot.

[@asthmaticbee]

That explains why this sounds like the weird Christian Inuyasha fanfic I read back in the days.

[@sorcerersapprentice]

@@asthmaticbee Wait, really? What was the fic like from what you remember?

[@asthmaticbee]

@@sorcerersapprentice It's mostly the vibes that remind me of it, iirc Inuyasha got all alpha male and turned Kagome into his submissive uwu half demon mate and it was just all kinds of rapey and tradwife and all the worst abo tropes without being abo lmao. While also being weirdly vanilla, kind of like this trilogy.

[@RiaxaraCo]

I think big daddy is the best interpretation of satan I’ve ever seen in any fiction. Absolutely incredible

[@Crowcaller]

It is admittedly extremely funny and powerful. I definitely gave my version of Lucifer in Good Angel/Bad End a southern USA accent because of partially this book series, partially just Devil Went Down to Georgia.

[@RiaxaraCo]

@@Crowcaller the devil went down to Georgia is such a good song, great inspo for a Lucifer character, halo I think is more a funny inspiration than good lol. Also, maybe this is just me, but any demon character can be improved with a southern accent.

[@starxolotl]

I was going to actually be happy with the unintentional aro/ace that was Gabriel And then he made out with an 18 y/o All of my hope is gone

[@Crowcaller]

You and I on the same wavelength because Gabriel was my fav character by far in the series- humorless really, serious, totally uninterested in sex and romance and a bit put off by it. Does explain book one what a MILF is. But the Molly thing is so weird. She is into him book one and he's ignoring it, book two she tries and he SLAM DUNKS her and then book three he just makes our with her.... But also it's implied he'll like, get over being into that once his wings are back? It's so confusing

[@starxolotl]

@Crow Caller I know! It’s so jarring. Maybe it could’ve worked. Perhaps due to the fact he lost his wings he could’ve realized he was maybe demi (romantic, sexual, or both), and he was denying the fact that he felt any part of that because A. He’s an Angel, and B. It’s not a huge part of his life Anyways. But no- he totally rejects everything having to do with romance and sex and then gets shoehorned into actually getting with-in his own words- a *child* and they say it’s all because he lost his wings???? The author really didn’t know what to do with this character in the end and figured they’d give him the treatment every character gets in a YA novel: an arbitrary ship.

[@PinoccThePiccolo]

NO SAME THE SHEER DISAPOINTMENT AND REMORSE.

[@LucaGlitchy]

NOOOOOOOOO WHY

[@readaholicgirl_5]

​@@starxolotl honestly it was because of the Molly x Gabriel shippers. She bent his character in a way for it to happen then say: it's only for this one scene but he'll revert back once the wings grow back.

[@magicalgirllaurie]

It took me a little bit to get that his name was Xavier and not Saviour because I initially misheard and then was 100% convinced that an awful YA book series would absolutely have an MC named Saviour.

[@alyssafleischer8449]

i was IMMEDIATELY taken aback at the start of your summary because xavier woods is the name of a pretty popular wrestler, and he started using that as his ring name 6 months after halo was published which is an all time insane coincidence

[@CrazyKungfuGirl]

It went from reefer madness to telenovela so fast

[@Crowcaller]

I do feel like I lost my mind just reading my summary sections in how wild the plot turns

[@aconstantstateofbladerunne5251]

Four things: 1. This is my favorite new channel and i love your stuff, keep it up! 2. I feel like the idea that these angels are assigned to an affluent town without any real problems wouldn’t have been the worst direction if more emphasis was put on Beth being ‘new.’ It would make sense for her first job on Earth to be something simple where she can learn the basics of making a positive difference and not have to worry about dire consequences if she messes up. But she doesn’t learn how to do anything, she just kind of hangs out. And the angels aren’t sent to the town for the sake of Beth’s training wheels, they treat upping the church attendance of a wealthy white town like a deadly serious mission against the forces of darkness the whole time. I mean it’s pretty obvious from the state of the series, but the author really didn’t put much thought into the story beyond ‘angel goes to school and meets hot boy.’ 3. I read the first two books when I was younger, but I completely forgot about the Tayla (spelling?) thing. The way you describe her little mini arc in Hades, it feels like her main sin was originally just going to be that she wasn’t religious, and the drunk driver thing was a second thought add-on, either because the author realized leaving it at just that would be just a little too cruel, or the publisher wanted it to be more appealing to a broader audience. With how much ‘goodness’ in these books is ascribed to attending church and not wearing makeup over any actual good deeds, it wouldn’t surprise me if that were the case. 4. SATAN IS DOUG DIMMADOME

[@itsaspiracle]

point four made me spit out my coffee thank you

[@cryptid_deity]

"I guess God can't see fast cars" KILLED ME, oh my god XD

[@saintdude6032]

Out of context it sounds like God got hit by a fucking car

[@aerongrimm3162]

I want an out of context t-shirt

[@slenders1ckn3ss]

Bethany said their marriage was "God's will" to get the priest to do it. That's kiiiiinda speaking for God. Which is blasphemy

[@Crowcaller]

And then the priest literally was murdered by an angel

[@leelee353]

so far, for the past three reviews you've done on this channel, I've created a fantastical other book that could have been and for this trilogy, it'd definitely be based on BIG DADDY and his precious children. "My son, Jake Thorn." I DON'T KNOW WHY, but that line made me HOWL and in MY version of Halo, it'd be repeated ad nauseam lol.

[@Crowcaller]

My son, Jake Thorn, who is my age. I love him very much.

[@morganwentworth2041]

I would love a tier list/ranking of the angel fiction you've read as a follow up video. Definitely keeping a tab open of your book. It's awesome hearing the thoughts of a fellow ace person because going through my youth being obsessed with YA romance but also ace and not realizing was...a trip

[@abs-urdity]

I was just coming to the comments to say this. I would absolutely eat up a 3 hour tier Ranking video of various YA angel fictions

[@lavenderspice]

Y'know I clicked on this video cause I really enjoyed the other two and thought it'd be fun to learn about another bad book I know nothing about. Then you said the love interest's name was Xavier. And I was like "haha I read a book in middle school where the love interest's name was Xavier" and then you said that the main character's name was Bethany and suddenly I was just like... wait a second... and I looked up the cover of the translation to my native language and oh my god I've read the first book. And then totally forgot about its existence. Like the only thing I vaguely remember about it is that I thought the ending was weird? Lmao anyway I turned out to be a non-binary lesbian who dresses alternative so I guess it didn't affect me all that much.

[@lay5395]

"This book has a theme of incest not being incest" Cassandra Clare wants to know your location

[@sappy_]

James Tullos made a similar, super long video about this series, and when I watched it, it made me so frustrated I plotted out my own angel story just out of spite. All that said, very excited that you're talking about this 😂

[@johannageisel5390]

Sweet! What is your story about? (Aside from angels, of course. ^ ^) And yeah - I also saw James Tullos' videos about angel YA books.

[@sappy_]

@@johannageisel5390 it's kind of complicated, but basically like, angels have to pass a test to become an angel, and MC keeps failing the test. Due to ~reasons~, MC gets banished to earth, and gets told, "We'll reevaluate in a year. If we think you've changed and you're good now, you can join us again. Otherwise you (either become mortal or get erased from existence, I can't decide). There's a lot of other stuff in there (along with some plot twists) but that's the basics. I doubt it will go anywhere, but it was fun to think about 😂

[@johannageisel5390]

@@sappy_ Interesting premise. :) And I know about the "ideas I like but which will probably never go anywhere". I have those too. 😅

[@sappy_]

@TobyRich Yooo, love that for us

[@chromaimp1315]

I love that every new word in the short summary at the beginning hits you like a brick. There's so much to unpack here, huh (The sex cave adventure kind of gives me Phantom of the Opera vibes, given all the candles and the "romantic" boat ride etc.) also entirely unrelated but those mothman plushies are so cute!!! I love them

[@Crowcaller]

I think it must be a phantom of the opera thing. Small boat on a secret river lit by candlelight to the sex cave.... Jake being ultimate unrequited love man...

[@coyotesvods3841]

It's lovely listening to you talk about bad or stupid books, I'm glad you started doing this more! (also, the concept sort-of-brought-up with Gabriel about angels being perfect and loyal and unemotional but then becoming more emotional and "human" when their wings are damaged is extremely cool, you could get an entire book out of an angel dealing with that and something something is it better to be perfect without free will or have free will and all the positives and negatives of emotions and the human experience. There might already be a book about that, I've more experience with dragon books than angel books, but it's not this book and it's still an extremely cool concept)

[@Crowcaller]

It is, you're right! I love the notion of an angel having a crisis of faith. You can have a lot of fun with it, especially as beings so close to god

[@guggelguggel7491]

YOOO, fallen angels that loose their wings as they become demons and thus are Way more emotional or something maybe? Regardless, that is a really cool concept..

[@igabyreads]

I remember reading this books when I was 15 and I have not seen anyone even knowing about it ‘till now, thank you for this. Now I know I’m not insane and it actually WASN’T a fever dream

[@Crowcaller]

Sometimes I wish it was and you and I were just insane, together

[@rosesanderson4625]

These are not the kind of books I like to read but I sure do love hearing about them. You rock

[@Crowcaller]

That's the whole point of my channel

[@wendyhan9727]

Oh my goodness when I saw this I thought you were talking about Angelburn, the other urban fantasy paranormal romance turned dystopia with a half angel main character falling in forbidden love with a human character and just about had a heart attack LOL I was half convinced that that book never existed and was just the product of a year long fever dream i had Great review!! Had a good time putting this on the bg while working 👍👍

[@Crowcaller]

Okay real talk real talk real talk..... I fcking loved angel burn. I picked it up expecting it'd be another bad angel book and had such a blast. Actually good angel ideas?? Cults? It was a lot of fun. I have yet to read the other two books though, my review of the first is on my blog

[@slenders1ckn3ss]

So hetero love drives demons to hell, a car can smash through a whole ass cave, Satan is a pimp, and slenderman is an angel hunter. Got it 👍

[@Crowcaller]

And the boyfriend is aang. Yeah.

[@amberlynnereba]

I remember seeing so many people read this when I was in high school, and I was so curious, but never ended up reading it. Now I’m kinda glad I didn’t 😅 Your reviews are so fun!

[@Crowcaller]

I just can't imagine it being popular even though it was. It's insanely boring especially book one. Beyond everything else wrong with it!

[@thenagito]

Whenever you mention Gabriel I keep thinking of his incarnation in Good Omens, so i just have this image of Jon Hamm awkwardly following around a teenage-looking girl and grumbling that human-angel romance isn't in his department, wishing he could just get on with finding and killing Aziraphale. Which, while amusing, does not give these books any help at all.

[@Ceruleansquid-lo3iv]

I was thinking the same thing! Also, while it doesn’t improve this book, but it might improve GO when you watch the Gabriel scenes and imagine him thinking “I have to go, we’re doing scale tests today”

[@thenagito]

@@Ceruleansquid-lo3iv 🤣🤣🤣 I'm not sure how one improves Good Omens beyond its current greatness, but it would be amazing to try!

[@Ceruleansquid-lo3iv]

@@thenagito probably not by introducing anything from Halo other than possibly Big Daddy.

[@marcog.verbruggen674]

You know, Halo the "alien shooty game" (love that lol) does have some pretty huge biblical themes (Master Chief is basically a messianic figure, the spooky alien hivemind that threatens to destroy all life is literally called The Flood, the ringworlds the series is based on and of course the series itself are literally called Halos, even Master Chief's designation, John 117 is in reference to the bible verse John 1:17) and does have a long series of novels, so when i saw the video I was.... well i'm not sure exactly what i was feeling, but whatever it was, it was alleviated as soon as you said it was some YA novel you were talking about lmao

[@victorias.f.]

I think I read the first Halo book, but maybe it was a traumatic experience, because my brain suppressed all memories of it. So thanks for making this video, I really don't wanna have to read it again! Also your outfit is so good. Hope you're doing well

[@michaeladawn537]

Fan of the commentary, fan of the aesthetic. You’re an icon.

[@GibbyandKieran]

My own angel story also has them as without free will and inability to create, it's very fun to explore. I was about to get into the setting/story but I should probably just write it instead :'(

[@Crowcaller]

You can write in any way you want champ. Setting and world is killer, and so fun to explore... But it's true the book can't happen without actually being written. Cool idea also! I'm doing a DND character rn who is a demon unable to create anything, and it's fun to play with. If he tries to even draw a picture he tears up the paper by accident or burns all food while cooking. This is mostly a comedy thing admittedly

[@PinoccThePiccolo]

Archangel Gabriel rejecting and roasting Molly is my favourite part of this whole series. It zctually sounds like it belongs in a genuinely good book (Unlike everything else asdkfkh).

[@Crowcaller]

My section on it feels unnecessary but it just so amused me, and was also oddly self aware. Like every para ro ya has immortal magic people falling for teens. Ganriyis like "uh, you're 17 and I'm on a mission from god. You dingus. Why would I be into you."

[@tmc272]

I like the implication that Hell still has a nudity taboo, just one that that is moderately less restrictive than modern US society. Like, the demons wear skimpy outfits by conservative Christian standards, but they still, like, wear clothes.

[@halfpintrr]

I love your reviews (both written and video). Maybe I’ll write an angel romance that you can review one day, haha. It’s vampires or eldritch monster for me. Also Gabriel as a music teacher? Groundbreaking. Edit: Oh I can do the demon idea so much better. Picture Jake Thorn saying something like; “All of you angels are so self righteous, even when you’re hypocrites. You’re dating a human boy, in defiance of His ‘mighty will.’” He rolls his eyes, and bares his teeth in a facsimile of a smile, mirthful and cruel. “You think you’re so much better than me? You’re already halfway to hell, Beth,” he pats the leather seat of his bike, suddenly large enough for three, “why don’t you and your little boy toy join me the rest of the way?” Also I’d scratch the Nazi shit, this isn’t the book series or the author. Leave that trauma alone. Also Asia would get a redemption arc and a friendship with Gabriel.

[@jyule4567]

Commenting again bc the "heaven is a godless wasteland and bc of this the principalities are going rogue, visiting earth, and giving this one human a bad time" plot element is the /exact/ premise of Angels In America my absolute fave piece of Angel Media,,, idk how to feel about this (sidenote would absolutely recommend watching AIA if you haven't, I love the way it depicts angels so much 10/10 gay Jewish 8 hr play of all time)

[@doodlebrain6594]

How are you DOING this?! Giving us such amazing long form content so quickly?!

[@Crowcaller]

In this case the three reviews were all over a year old and I just combined them! So without needing to write a script or read a book, it is waaaaaaaay easier

[@dracocrusher]

Yeah, turns out stuff like this is pretty doable. I'd imagine most of the time and work is in scripting and reading the actual book, but if those are off the table then all that's left is actually recording and editing the thing. Which, sure, can be a pain, but also it really just takes a few hours of reads over a few days and then just hooking the sessions together with titles. If you're decent at public speaking then you can even streamline the script reading a ton, as well. Not to downplay the actual content, but this is way quicker to get out than, say, a SuperEyepatchWolf video, or something Lindsay Ellis or Jacob Geller would make, which requires a lot of editing and music and stuff to fit the vlog-style footage together. Edit: Side note, absolutely check out those creators I mentioned if you haven't already, super good content, Lndsay Ellis and Jacob Geller specifically do a lot of amazing analysis stuff. Can't plug them hard enough.

[@the_last_ballad]

In short: she did the homework of reading the books and writing the reviews a while ago, it's just that recently she discovered the fact that people like long form audio book reviews and is working to convert her backlog. It will take longer once she's done with all the stuff she's already covered on her blog, in text format, over the years. And I'm here because I love listening to people autopsy books.

[@SarcasticShrubbery]

"way too thorough reviews of bad books" is one of my favourite YT genres and you're hitting it out of the park :)

[@babyface3396]

All the angels sitting around doing nothing and waiting for god to tell them what to do is reminding me so much of the episode of spongebob where they get stuck in the forest and ask the magic conch what to do, and it just tells them "nothing." And then they sit in the ground, unblinking until something comes along to solve their problems.

[@jyule4567]

The combination of this and the Perfected video unearthed buried memories of my Maximum Ride phase 💀 ohboy that series was a wild ride the book where they go to Antarctica to stop climate change will haunt me forever

[@Crowcaller]

You say that like it's insane. The insane part is when the talking dog falls in love with another dog and grows wings. I love max ride as a kid a ton but it was a hot mess nonstop no plot only twists and retcons

[@demongoose666]

@@Crowcaller one of the funniest things I remember from those books is the gang visiting the place where JFK was assassinated and the talking dog saying that he believes there was a second shooter.

[@shigekax]

Oh so i remember nothing about maximum ride then

[@raelatable8798]

you just awoke the fever dream in my brain that was me, 10 years old, reading all three of these books on the couch one summer day. thanks

[@Crowcaller]

Nooooooo you poor thing

[@glitchygutz]

Obligatory "wow I'm early"... I'm so ready to hear all about this trainwreck, lmao. Your book reviews have all been so interesting and well done and I'm happy to wait for more, you deserve all the love you're getting :)

[@EldritchZoeArchive]

I... Feel like the "Big Daddy" thing is just... Did the author not want to call him Satan? Like I get that there's a justification but just... Call him Lucifer. Call him Lucy. I just... Big Daddy.

[@jettegermerodt405]

Ok but why does Book two sound like a confused youth pastors poor attempt at rewriting Dantes Inferno??? On another note, as a fellow Asexual I now claim the title of "door bitch" and do not care to elaborate further.

[@Crowcaller]

It's me and you and me and you alone..... Door bitches...... Asexual only title

[@Saphia_]

It is wild falling asleep listening to LightLark review and waking up a few minutes earlier than 50:49 of this. My thought process was "Huh? Where am I?" *some confusion, video reaches **50:49** mark* "What the hell?"

[@carasclownerycorner6455]

You're one of my favourite newly discovered youtube book review channels, I'm so glad you decided to post your reviews here!

[@1917yee]

Agreed, absolutely love their approach

[@ghxstkxng9903]

same! they're very entertaining to listen to/watch

[@forgotten_lumis5595]

Yessss

[@lepsnexus6893]

I love the way Gabriel is just so aroace that he's a savage

[@Crowcaller]

I loved him and thought he was just arpace and brutal and then in book three... Well, it's left so vague honestly what he and Molly are. Like it's pretty canon when his wings heal he'll go back to being disinterested in her??

[@lepsnexus6893]

@@Crowcaller wings are what causes (at least) aro-ness in angels ig lol

[@cryptid6279]

the title terrified me for a second because i fucking LOVE the halo books. not the young adult paranormal angel series, the the shooty alien game. they have heartbreaking novellas.

[@mozart4344]

This was absolutely a trip to listen to from start to finish Jesus! I just discovered your channel, but now I have to read your books, cause I’ve been dying for an angel-based book that examines their roles as “tools of god.” Plus, it’s always good to see more asexuals like myself making videos :D I look forward to what you’ll do in the future!!

[@Crowcaller]

I love angels and all sorts of ideas and interpretations you can have with them.... Honestly I don't care or hate if an angel book has them be pretty wing people no deeper thoughts, but you can do so much more with the lire

[@zaharabliss106]

Have I watched a dozen videoes on this book franchise that I've never read...yes. I may have a problem but hearing people talk about bad books is soooooooo cathartic. Keep doing Gods work!

[@susieboo22]

This whole series sounds absolutely unhinged, but "the main character gets kidnapped to marry a demon in hell, survives being burned at the stake and is brought to a sex cave, but is saved just in time because her boyfriend runs over the wall of a cave with his car" earned a slow clap. Amazing. Immaculate. No notes.

[@sparrowhawk_lastname]

"The Door Bitches" reminds me of one of my favorite single lines from a song, ever: "I am infected with the bitch disease". It doesn't even rhyme with the preceding lines, it's just, there. (The song is Black Queen Style by Mechanical Moth, and it slaps.)

[@Lostinblue777]

I read this series when I was in high school and remembered almost nothing about it until seeing this video. Thank you for creating this, and allowing me to be aghast at what a different person and what different tastes I had over a decade ago xD

[@KimSokolArt]

Just minutes in and I had to go down an internet rabbit hole on the name "Xavier Woods" because that’s also the (stage) name of a popular pro wrestler and I needed to know if one could have possibly come from the other because that would be wild. Turned out he debuted under the name in July 2010 and the book released in the US in August - there’s an earlier publication date but I don’t know if that’s Australia or self-published or what? - so it’s likely just a very stupid coincidence.

[@rainydayjules]

I’m not gonna be able to watch this without imaging the character as him, this will either improve or ruin the experience lol

[@KimSokolArt]

@@rainydayjules I absolutely could not help but picture him through the entire video, trombone and all

[@rainydayjules]

@@KimSokolArt though also, didn’t the New Day debut with their gimmick being them as a group of preachers???

[@dunjunart]

I paused immediately to see if anyone had mentioned this in the comments lmfao what a wild world

[@amalgrim]

It's such a delight to see you doing more of these! After stumbling on your Lightlark review I was sad to hear you weren't planning on doing more at it's end! Your insight is so interesting, your sense of humor about it all is dry and enjoyable, and while perusing your blog has been a joy, as well, I can keep doing work while I listen to these. c: Thank you for going out on a limb and recording, my spouse and I are avid fans!

[@Crowcaller]

Thank you!! You have a cool avatar. As I go through my comments at night I get to see so many avatars, and I never thought I'd care but I've been just so enjoying how many are like, OCS or cool art.... But also thanks for your comment. It's been very odd really but cool. I love video essays but also the notion of like, thousands of hours of me talking being seen now across the world... A bit strange in abstract!

[@doodlebrain6594]

Xavier WOODS, Jake THORN, Bethany ROSE, I’m sensing a theme

[@Crowcaller]

I didn't even notice that....

[@doodlebrain6594]

I’m willing to bet money it’s some kind of reference to Eden

[@swimmyswim417]

Only two minutes in and I’ve just read the vid description and “Big Daddy” already has me hooked. Holy shit how was this published?? Your fascination with paranormal Angel romance books is such a niche thing and I love it. More of a vampire girl myself but as a Catholic who’s recently discovered Good Omens I am here for it!

[@Crowcaller]

I just really really am into angels! It's weird because I wasnt even raised with religion, so I don't know where I picked up an interest in them. I also flatly don't LIKE para ro..... Bu t there's so few angel books I found myself reading them anyways and always being let down

[@TimeturnerJ]

As an aside - if you love fantasy angels, have you ever tried playing the Bayonetta series? Our main character isn't an angel (she rocks though, she's such an icon), but the enemies you fight are - and that series _really_ nails the whole "biblically accurate angels" thing. 😌 They're delightfully eldritch. The games also love being camp. They don't always take themselves too seriously. I think you'd enjoy that, it's very fun.

[@Crowcaller]

I haven't played them but I've seen them, and they do look really fun. And the monster designs DO slap

[@TimeturnerJ]

@@Crowcaller Have you ever considered uploading any Let's Plays on your channel? I'd personally love to see your reaction to the games if you were to play them!

[@Crowcaller]

KZbin swallows replies! I could but I don't know how much audience of get or who would like that. I play a lot of games but I don't know what to talk about while gaming

[@TimeturnerJ]

@@Crowcaller It's worth a try, I'd say! 🧡 I'm pretty sure Bayonetta Let's Plays do quite well, especially now that the third game just came out and brought some more attention to the series! And hey, if it doesn't work out or you end up not enjoying making that form of content, you can always just keep playing on your own time. 😌 No pressure!

[@TimeturnerJ]

@@Crowcaller Now that I've finished the newly-released Bayo 3, I can say that the third game - albeit very pretty - really doesn't hold up in regards to the writing, and to some extent even the gameplay. What a shame. But the first two games are still great, if you ever want to give them a try. Bayo 2 is peak Bayonetta, I'd say. It had a much bigger budget than the first game, and very much feels true to form. Also, the gay vibes are strong, so much so that at the time, we thought it might even be canon. Ah well. It'll always be canon in my heart. 😌

[@annjay2581]

I dont even read the books you review, but I listen to your rants like lectures on how to not write my own fantasy novel 🥰

[@abhainn35]

So my computer shut down for some reason while I had this video playing. I turned it back on, and for some reason, my earbuds weren't connected and the volume was at 66, so most of the house heard "BIG DADDY". Needless to say, the shame hasn't left.

[@TimeturnerJ]

Let me just grab a cup of coffee and settle in for what is sure to be another masterpiece 😌☕

[@pippinnnn]

Your content is the most perfect type to watch while drawing

[@sirfurbingtonthe23rd4]

The gross thing about Hannah's whole backstory is that there was literally no reason for it to take place during the Holocaust. It could've been any other story where her friend was about to be killed (like, say during the French Revolution or something. Maybe she was Bougie or something. Just one of many ideas.) and then made a deal with Jake to save her, only for her to die later on anyways. Like... Out of all the historical events the author could've picked for this??? It was the Holocaust??? Edit: I say "the gross thing" but really, it's just one of many gross things. That's not the only issue here, far from it.

[@TheAdarkerglow]

It's Pronounced 'Bu-ken-vald', and they didn't have 'Hitler Youths' of any gender at the Death Camps. Those were strictly run by the SS, kept mostly quiet. The ash raining down on nearby towns was more than enough to keep them away. They knew, deep down, where that ash was coming from, the last thing they wanted was to confirm it and have to confront the horror.

[@joanniferlawrence2955]

Harmful historical inaccuracies aside, it’s so weird to frame Hanna as having no other choice. In a way, it seems like the author was trying to replicate the character of Hanna Schmitz from "The Reader" while neither understanding the character nor having the sensibility needed to pull said character off. Whether that was the intent is pure conjecture, but the similarities are definitely interesting. Quick correction: Accidentally spelled it out as "Hannah"

[@ToboeMyLove]

I read the first book back in 2014 or so, I've never seen anyone else talk about it or say they've read it before so this is very exciting for me!! What a glorious bad angel book

[@Crowcaller]

It's one of the most wild and thus best series, though it must be said how dull book one is and how actually boring the other two are apart from the bizarre highlights

[@allisonelizabeth6596]

lol i remember reading this in, like, 2019. You are not alone.

[@halogenbot3608]

I read your review on your site and I'm enjoying listening again and can I just say, I'm continously fascinated by the authors ability to make angels so damn boring. Like all other complaints are very very valid but like the thing that trips me up is like how do you make angels that boring? They don't even have fun with the wings :( Anyway! Thank you for your review I've been really enjoying going through the backlog on your site, it's really fun!

[@Crowcaller]

The whole book is boring! But yes, all these suckers are super super boring. No interesting anything. Except in book three when Bethany randomly can seal flesh with her mind and perfect aim bricks and do mental arson....

[@thecreditsconductor7298]

So excited for this one! Your reviews have all been fascinating, can't wait to hear more!

[@jacksonhinkle5765]

The angels having no bellybuttons is actually pretty clever - it’s probably a reference to an old theological issue called the paradox of the navel. Basically, the origin of the dispute was over whether Adam should be depicted as having a bellybutton - after all, he was created directly by God, not born, and thus may have never had an umbilical cord. Shame about the rest of it, though.

[@ecksdee8129]

Your Angel outfit is so good!

[@ecksdee8129]

Also, big fan of the doggie in your new channel banner

[@Crowcaller]

Thank you! Few people notice I theme all my outfits. Except lightlark which took three days so I did different ones after day one

[@Crowcaller]

Cooper........... He is my parent's. I'll make a proper banner some day

[@katechang3893]

Wait is Halo the one where the protagonist like. Revealed that she was an angel by going to the beach with the main guy and showing him that she didn’t leave footprints on the sand. Everything in your vid sounds so familiar but this is seriously the ONLY thing I remembered from the book (read it when I was 13 I think) + the fact that it was super boring so I gave it to a classmate immediately after I finished and deleted it from my memory forever….. can’t believe I missed out on so much craziness in the series omg 😭

[@katechang3893]

Oh OH and then the guy was like “cool party trick but you should eat more 😌” omg it’s all coming back to me now….. I can’t believe this book was real 😭

[@Crowcaller]

Quite sure, yes! I do not recall her not leaving footprints but book one is a very boring blur to me

[@ashlynnday9890]

My favorite thing that uses a ton of Christian themes is Lobotomy Corporation. It’s not a cram it down your throat type of thing, just uses the Bible and more specifically, the book of Revelation, as a massive theme for the game. It’s cool actually, I’m not used to seeing Christianity portrayed in a non-religious way, like how Greek or Norse gods are now. I really like it.

[@monicadepaul6223]

Why can't we have a Biblically accurate angel romance? BE NOT AFRAID.

[@chelscara]

I really love your ‘angel’ outfit for the beginning, it’s super cute! (idk if you change yet just started lol)

[@Crowcaller]

Not this time! And thank you for noticing, I do vaguely try to theme my outfits a bit each video.

[@rainphee]

i got covid a few weeks ago, and this video soothed me to sleep in the middle of my fever-induced exhaustion. thank you so much for making being sick much more fun, crow, you're a real one

[@Horrorbubbl]

clicked onto this thinking you were talking about the shooty alien game, i am glad you specified because i dont know what happens in that game and probably wouldnt have noticed until the end of the video

[@Horrorbubbl]

still going to watch the video because i like your videos

[@Horrorbubbl]

i think the weird semi incest is like... a really weird parallel to abraham and sarai??? from the old testament? idk ive been in catholic school for two years im not a super well versed person

[@readingdino711]

I'm only halfway through this video, but damn I enjoy this so much. I've never even heard of these books, but everything was well enough explained that I could easily follow it. This channel truly is one of the best out there! I even managed to plan out 28 more chapters in that one fanfiction I'm writing.

[@Ferrilata_-tg3gl]

I'm sorry but even after you specified that it was the young adult paranormal romance angel series I still kept interpreting every "Halo" as the shooty alien game and thinking "whoa Master Chief did WHAT"

[@pheroxity7663]

All through the middle part of the last video I was remembering this book. I'm glad I get to hear about the trainwreck that the rest were because I for sure couldn't finish it in highschool.

[@northstarjakobs]

I can't believe you put out another video so soon after the Perfected trilogy video! I'm impressed with your abilities and a bit frightened.

[@Crowcaller]

This was older reviews combined, so it was much less work than reading the whole trilogy and writing it! Just had to record and edit, mostly :3

[@bunni2583]

I can not get over that the leads are *Xavier* and a *renegade angel.* You slumber, cucumber.

[@2006HondaCivicD]

You slumber, a ham~~burger Idunwannatalkaboutnothingelse

[@lettucedaudience420]

You snoze, you loze

[@hundike]

so the nightclub in hell guarded by goths is called pride ... 🧐

[@Crowcaller]

Admittedly pretty funny but not as funny as the DOOR BITCHES

[@hundike]

@@Crowcaller the fact that both of these elements are combined definitely heightens it

[@doodlebrain6594]

See my thought is “oooh what if all the hell nightclubs were named after the 7 deadly sins” but I may be putting more thought in than the author did

[@raptorcharly8055]

I love all your videos, I read your whole blog after accidentally running across your Lightlark review - and re-enjoying it in video form is even more fun! I've watched each of your previous reviews a couple times over, I adore long-form videos and documentaries but I don't find a ton of them that really resonate with me. These videos are like a combination of listening to a friend trash on a bad book and listening to shockingly insightful commentary, especially on the Perfected trilogy. You nail the issues and even the fixes really well and it's hilarious to listen to but also really on-the-nose. Overall your videos are all delightful!

[@sunnysides9691]

i literally never expected anyone to cover this series! i only read the first two, and even it the time i hated the characters and found the first book boring, while the second book was INSANE while still being bad. you read anything as a teen when you love angels LMAO. but hush hush is the WOOOORSTTTTT and i hope you do a video tearing it apart in the future! speaking of, your channel has gone so quickly and it's all great quality! i'm honestly baffled LMAO. but thank you for all your work!!

[@Crowcaller]

Man I despise despise DESPISE hush hush. So much. Worst of them for sure. I was an angel obsessed teen and I DID check halo out of my school's library but I only read like one chapter, it was too boring! Also angel loving teens.... We really got shafted they just couldn't make any friggin good angel books huh. And they were all romances, which I hated. This is my main motivation for every single book I write being a different varietion of angel book. We need more

[@TheSlurpy11]

I’m so glad this channel is taking off and I’m even more glad to have found you! Love this content. Your insight and analysis style is similar to my own so I keep finding myself going “exactly!!” all the time. Thank you for providing me with all the info I needed to skip this series 😅

[@Inka.R.]

I hope you continue making these, you seem really fun!

[@Crowcaller]

I hope to!! I have a lot of video plans