The dark side of musicians: Psychologist's analysis of @MarySpender's narcissism

#narcissism #maryspender #narcissist #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
In this video I react to @MarySpender 's video about being accused of boundless narcissism in the KZbin comments section and take you on a whistle stop tour of the history of narcissism from historical figures like Havelock, Freud and Kohut to contemporary thinkers like Kernberg and @CraigMalkin
Can narcissism ever be helpful? Is it essential for a career as a musician or in the performing arts or is it only ever an example of toxic, dark psychology.
Original video here:
kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYOsp4B6lqZ3o6ssi=VOzv5WxxXNVwjar-
And big thanks to Mary who kindly gave me permission to react to her video 🙏
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[@pdquestions7673]

Always important to distinguish ordinary narcissism (vanity, ambition etc.) from "disorder" narcissism. They carry the same name, but that can be misleading... Nice video! 🙂

[@drruthannharpur]

Thanks John!

[@nischalxp]

Well explained Ruth, loved it! Just wanted to apear if you're looking for a video editor, Are you?

[@TravellingWithTeens]

So interesting! Thanks for this!!!

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed!

[@ladycampion]

Not all of us are narcissists... But there are certainly plenty in the mix! I was kind of afraid of what you were going to say, but that was all very reasonable. 😁

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you 😂😂😂 I was taking Mary's advice to give it a bit of razzle dazzle!

[@imm0rtalitypassi0n]

Sigh...I've personally sworn off dating any musicians/performers thanks to unpleasant firsthand experience with 2.

[@drruthannharpur]

Hope you have better dating experiences soon - musicians or not 🙏

[@imm0rtalitypassi0n]

@@drruthannharpur ha, thank you!! Each experience is a lesson and way to recalibrate towards healthier partner selection & participation. ❤️‍🩹

[@Dr.Lee.Guitar]

If you think it is hard dating a musician, try being in a band with one…😅

[@imm0rtalitypassi0n]

@@Dr.Lee.Guitar haha, very fair point.

[@Dr.Lee.Guitar]

I think there is a risk of not recognizing one as a narcissist, especially when someone being ***abused*** by one. We all know those folks refuse to even talk to a professional. This video falls short.

[@fridjon]

The term "narcissism" is overused today due to the "commonsense psychology" which has no common sense at all...

[@drruthannharpur]

💯

[@dc56789]

There's a big difference between being narcissistic at times and having narcissistic personality disorder.

[@helena_5456]

"My" narcissist is a musician. But not all musicians are narcissists, of course.

[@photina78]

Great video! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Lots of interesting information 🤓 📚

[@drruthannharpur]

Glad you enjoyed it ... always happy to facilitate some geeking out on the psychology of narcissism 😂

[@thamastermind01]

If I can share my 2 cent. But to be able to go after a dream takes an above average level of narcissism. You have to believe that what you want to say or do is of value, people will listen, and will like it. No one can throw you off because you know yourself and what you can do. It’s when you get to the disordered side where there’s a high level of narcissism; that’s where it becomes damaging. A person with npd for example could be in the same boat as the person with only above average levels. They have something of value that people will like but it’s the disorder that comes in and questions their thoughts and deters them from trying. The question could be as simple as and probably is “what if I fail?” If the person with npd can’t answer that question and know 100% that won’t happen. It will never get started. Because in their minds you can not fail at anything. You have to be perfect. So if you don’t do it, then you’re not a failure. Npd is deep and so much more than just being the “asshole” disorder.

[@drruthannharpur]

That's definitely worth a bit more than 2 cents!

[@thamastermind01]

@@drruthannharpur aww really? ☺️ Thank you so much🙏🙏🙏

[@dc56789]

Do you remember Brian Harvey from the boy band East 17? He always puts videos up attacking his former bandmates and boasting that the band is nothing without him and hes the only one who could sing. Hes on benefits now and talks alot about the tax he has paid on selling millions of records. I think he has other mental health issues though because hes paranoid that people are trying to unalive him.

[@drruthannharpur]

I remember him but wasn't aware of this 😱

[@dc56789]

Yeah he's also contacted his local MP regarding SA allegations against his old manager.

[@ivankacat]

Obviously yes if shes so triggered by one comment to make a whole video on it.

[@rjramone4051]

Judging by her thumbnails she uses for her videos, she's a narcissist x2.