the darkness of 'first reformed'

[@KarstenRunquist]

how’s your day going?

[@notmytruthTHEtruth]

When I think of the last 10 years I think about how people idolized war criminals like Trump and Obama.

[@Journeyofanatty]

Pretty great honestly, but I'm wondering why the title of this vid was different in my notifications than on the actual video

[@nico.muffins]

meh, I think i'm gonna go watch first reformed again now.

[@012teehee]

first re-corned

[@tymoviedatabase7788]

No Oscar nom for Hawke is still a joke. He easily deserved the nomination, I knew that he wasn't going to win, but it's still one of the biggest mistakes and crimes in Oscar history! "Screw you Oscars!".

[@reviewswithrud3845]

And to think Ethan Hawke wasn't nominated for Best Actor for this film

[@freegadflyathome]

Amazing performance. It is pretty sad.

[@tymoviedatabase7788]

What a baffling crime!

[@christiangay793]

Oscars that year were just awful and irrelevant. I actually think Rami Malek was amazing, but Ethan Hawke and Toni Collette to not even get nominated is just idiotic. And on top of that, Green Book won Best Picture. Who even remembers that movie at this point?

[@corbelan4]

Casuals chose the nominations

[@frankcarlosnajera9723]

@@christiangay793 Green Book, Nomadland, Coda, The Shape of Water, Spotlight... the last years' Best Picture have been pretty forgettable... Hopefully this year will be different with Banshees vs Everything Everywhere all at once

[@sand4273]

Rami Malek is in possession of Ethan Hawke’s Oscar.

[@tymoviedatabase7788]

I don't care what people say, Rami deserved it that year. No contest. Hawke could have been a good upset, but no nomination really angers me to this day.

[@coana666.3]

Y E S

[@SaberRexZealot]

If Rami was nominated for Mr Robot then he’d have 4 of them.

[@Izaan2810]

True. Malek didn't deserve it. Anyone who thinks Malek deserved it is absolutely tonedeaf in his/her information about acting. He simply won for playing Freddie Mercury. Hawke was listed number 1 in every single article and was most critics' pick to win the Oscar. Malek's win would go down as one of the absolute worst. Either Hawke or Bale should have won it. Even Cooper would have been a better choice.

[@batorsagandszerelem4474]

@@Izaan2810 I can't hate on Rami for winning (whether really deserved or not). I'm too busy being angry that my boi Ethan didn't even get nominated. I still can't wrap my head around that fact.

[@fernandos.7244]

This movie caught me off guard. I absolutely loved it.

[@mistahmata]

The first time I saw this, it genuinely unsettled me and I went to sleep right after and had a sleep paralysis nightmare thanks Paul Schrader

[@evanthomasgant]

First Reformed was one of the most powerful and also, depressing movies I’ve ever seen

[@gabrielbotellofaz3781]

I wrote an essay on First Reformed for my USC application and man, it is not easy. I really don't know whether he lived or died, but what the ending tells me is that Toller did not fully succumb to despair, because as he says earlier in the film, "a life without despair is a life without hope." I really loved how you interpreted the alcoholism, and I completely agree. I would even say that him taking the suicide vest and the laptop to rid Mary of any trouble with the authorities showcases this self-destruction even more, his altruism doesn't stem from his love for others, but from his self-loathing. God I love this movie and I am so glad you finally did a full video on it. Keep up the amazing work dude!

[@Dunderhunden]

Very interesting thoughts and points - is there any way of reading your essay online somewhere? Sounds awesome!

[@gabrielbotellofaz3781]

@@Dunderhunden Unfortunately it's not up anywhere :/ I don't think it's good enough for public consumption anyways lol. But thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

[@Roastpeef]

Wow that's some great brains you got in that head😅 Very good analysis. I'd say more but I'm speechless when it comes to deep thoughts😁

[@gabrielbotellofaz3781]

@@Roastpeef hahah thank you so much! I ended up getting into USC so it worked out well!!

[@Alia-bc3rc]

I never more baffled with movie's ending. But according to the Schrader, the result is still the same whether the scene is real or not: Mary "saved" him, and Toller went insane.

[@elizabethkirton6063]

This is genuinely one of my favourite films of the 2010s, it's so masterful and I haven't been able to get it out of my head either. I didn't anyone else had seen this film so I'm so glad you got to see it. I agree with your points completely but I think the final kiss is in fact a defiant stand against nihilism. Blowing himself up, drinking the bleach or bleeding out would be giving into the dread, the nihilism. But no he's like "fuck that shit, Imma kiss my girlfriend instead cause fuck the world, fuck your problems, I just wanna live" and that's why it felt so powerful to me anyway. Felt kinda hopeful. But maybe that's just me projecting.

[@wwaxwork]

That's how I saw the ending too.

[@Aeshir2]

yeah I did not at all think he died

[@jebediahthegreat3160]

That’s how I saw it

[@sergioq94]

He just needed to get out of his room lul

[@elizabethkirton6063]

@@speedfanguitar8586 well then, how did our protag get in there? The door, doy!

[@JoeyMannino]

funny enough, the first time I experienced First Reformed was on an airplane (in the middle seat of all places - so I think I eventually garnered the attention of both the person to my right and left)

[@EverythingInFrame]

i watched it for the first time on a plane too! it was definitely a unique experience, hahaha

[@umyrds9950]

wish i could experience this!!

[@maryhorn7734]

such an underrated, incredible movie

[@franciscovega2042]

I think the ending is a miracle. When Toller spills his drink on the floor i think that it means the ground is sacred maybe due to Tollers impending death or something else but i feel it was sacred for the miracle. Somehow Mary is able to enter and in doing so interrupte Tollers suicide. This i interpret as a miracle.

[@Matthew_Robert_Vincini]

I remember this being a24's great follow up after hereditary...seeing it days after I watched Hereditary, this blew me away. I was in a film coma after those two movies. So much to take in, in such little time!

[@troyjuhn7346]

So when are we getting the what I watched December edition?

[@celluloidfag]

he said he’s combining his december and january video into one. so we’re getting it next month.

[@BrinniLeo]

I’d love to watch First Reformed and Bergmans’s Winter Light as a double feature some day. Similar films in many ways

[@nickkasander2316]

this is one of the best films about climate change. it doesn’t feel too forceful but it made me wanna do something more than any other film

[@blakehawk]

This film was deeply affecting for me. I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it again since 2019, but I feel like I need to.

[@Birdfishluva71]

One of my top 5 favorite films of all time. You touch on all of the things that I enjoyed about First Reformed as a piece of cinema.

[@bmillz6243]

My mom comes from a first reformed family and we were shocked that this extremely small Christian denomination got major focus in a motion picture.

[@luuketaylor]

Found out about this film when you first reviewed it on Letterboxd, saw it soon after, and it shook me to my core. I've brought it up and in fact referenced it in my Ethics class as well as my Trauma course (about to get my degree in psychotherapy). I will always be down for more First Reformed content.

[@CinemaStix]

Ah, man. Essays I aspire to. Every time. Never stop doing what you do.

[@charlotteeh3472]

is it just me or did you deliberately use 'detergent' as the ending song in reference to when Toller drinks the toilet cleaner in the film ? hahah

[@luuketaylor]

He uses that song in the end card of the majority of his videos, so no.

[@DeborahBogard]

"The internet - but more specifically social media - becoming the norm that it's become, the separate universe that it is, changed a lot of how we view ourselves and what we have access to. Whereas it used to be that we only knew so much, now we can know and believe whatever we want, whenever we want, and that's powerful but damaging. Especially when you realize that everything you know that isn't right, can't be fixed...combined with the ignorance you didn't know you had, then you're bound to grow a little anxious about everything." (8:00) Karsten, this succinctly expressed the thoughts I've had for the last 10 years. The internet has become such a double-edged sword, and at present, we unfortunately seem to be using it to chop ourselves to pieces.

[@zekewalker1350]

I think about this movie about the same amount as you seem to. Every now and then I debate showing it to my parents not only because I think most people should see it but also because I know they would hate it. They are probably best described as people like Cedric The Entertainer's character (amazing casting there imo) and I know it would fuck up their world view a little but it would also get them to understand mine. What do yall think?

[@freegadflyathome]

Do it! I push this movie on anyone I can

[@ilan5821]

Do it! Any movie that gives someone a better perspective of others is worth them seeing

[@teamorcas]

@@cactusmalone you say "I think you're just trying to feel superior" and in the same sentence "I hope they put you in your place". The hypocrisy is incredible. Completely expected from a dumbass joker pfp though.

[@domclegg1225]

i think this is easily your best video essay! love how you tie the film to the 2010s as a decade, although i see the ending as more hopeful than nihilistic. great video karsten

[@somepasta6377]

This is such a great movie, definitely one of the best movies I watched last year

[@s.m.452]

I thought the ending was absolutely perfect. Was the kiss with Mary his "standing on holy ground" moment of euphoria before death, or was it real salvation through love? As long as we don't know, both options are potentially true. Hope and despair exist in perfect balance. How we navigate that ambiguity is how we navigate life on this corroded planet.

[@spinhozag.3972]

Where’s the video on what you watched in December?

[@MAUD_IFY]

Karsten Runquist really said "gec gec gec" in this video, huh

[@krach1854]

Your last review on Letterboxd from a few days ago is what made me finally go and watch this film, and now you bless me with this video. Thanks for that, man!

[@its_k18]

Totally agree with you. This film really stuck with me and I thought it was incredible

[@Anarkhipov_]

Saw this movie for the first time yesterday and immediately became one of my all time favorite movies

[@narisarra1476]

STARTING THIS YEAR WONDERFUL

[@skylinefilms123]

I see that LP1 behind you. Respect

[@JeffDoyen]

I remember when I went to go see Isle of Dogs, I got the trailer of this. It didn’t intrigue me in any way (guess it’s not my type of movie). It was weird because the trailer they played before it was the Grinch of all trailers. Cuz an adult animated film should proceed with trailers like this and Grinch!

[@joaquinbaume1291]

Thank you for making a vid about this film, such a fucking amazing movie, deserves far more recognition

[@yknowyoongi9825]

had to watch this twice in one night to feel like I even slightly took in what it was achieving ... still feel like I need to watch it five more times to fully appreciate every single piece of dialogue and detail

[@QuinnMiller]

I think the ambiguity in the ending harkens back to earlier in the film where toller talks about faith being the act of holding 2 contradictory truths. Neither ending is the one true ending, they both are together.

[@isabellamorris7902]

THIS THIS THIS. The ending is deliberately indeterminate - that premature seeming cut to black happens for a reason. It feels like a sentence not quite finished properly, because the film can't continue to logically hold together under the weight of 2 opposite possibilities Also at risk of sounding EVEN MORE pretentious this is something that Freud talked about a bit

[@wesleybesikof9301]

Yess! I’ve been waiting for this one 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@liloa03]

i personally think that his despair also comes from the fact Toller believed he was doing right in the eyes of God by becoming a reverend after determining the past actions in his life made him a sinner, when in actuality he was only pushing the knife in further - going from one puppet master to the next. going from being a puppet of the state to a puppet of the church, and when they are both fed by the same pockets - what’s the difference? when he realised that and when he realised he couldn’t truly do anything freely or commit any change, that life moves him more than him moving life - in the same way there have been hundreds of deaths from climate activists who tried and thousands more who continue to try, activists who believe they can commit change and have free will over their lives who dedicated their lives to get the worlds governments to do something to help the thing they continue to ignore - that is when he is hopeless and that is why he is hopeless.

[@lizc6393]

My sister used to sing "of all the ways to go, I wouldn't drink... Drano!" Lol. But seriously that's a horrifying way to die.

[@wesleybesikof9301]

Wow! Literally that film movie went over my head. Great video, Karsten!!

[@happystickman7255]

You’ve finally made a video of it!

[@konradskilainen]

This is so beautiful and important in our time. Great analyzing too, Karsten.

[@ZoWonderfull]

I watched this last March in the first week of q-tine. At around 1pm. And then just sat at home with that.

[@ofrisagi8264]

Heyyyy Karsten I recently watched The Witch and The lighthouse for the first time and was BLOWN AWAY and, as one should, I immediately checked Robert Eggers on imdb and got super curious about his history as a filmmaker, especially because he did not make a lot of projects before these two films... thought of maybe making a video about him? I think his print as a director can be a great subject!

[@TheObeeOne]

One of my favorite movies ever. Also top of the list of films that is incredibly hard to rev omens to other people

[@raspberryheadache9897]

First Reformed is the best depiction of loss of faith/hope I’ve seen as the term usually suggests the latter of exchanging or finding a new hope (found in Mary,a pregnant widow,who symbolizes the balance between hope and despair) or excepting damnation,no hope (suicide as a response to lack of hope/faith in God or humanity) which the ending allows the viewer to decide on.This is unlike films similar to it for e.g Winter Light,which tends to be one sided,which is totally fine as well.

[@johnpaulcross424]

So it’s Evangelion for doomers

[@Aeshir2]

oh wow

[@atulyabharadwaj2279]

Evangelion was more about connecting and stuff. This movie is about a wannabe mishima who isnt really good at being mishima.

[@sanjanamathur7252]

Evangelion is evangelion for doomers

[@johnpaulcross424]

@@sanjanamathur7252 true tho

[@chermackproductions7005]

@@johnpaulcross424 whats evangelion

[@hemantisarkar6818]

There is also a reference of Michael finding his salvation just before he kills himself (divine spot) similarly I think Reverend Tailor finds his salvation realising his love for Mary and unborn child hence love and hope. But this is just a fantasy before his death.

[@JamesFullelove]

nice style/editing on this one. good job!

[@souljacem]

Hey Karsten, first of all I want to thank you so much for your thoughts and your initial recommendation of First Reformed 2 years ago. I watched it right after I saw you mention it in your Top 2018 list and it struck me a lot. This film marks a starting point in my life in which I felt a lot of despair and the need to improve my self. Now that you mentioned the thoughts that it provoked in you I felt like a circle in my life closed which caused me to sort of grasp the significance of this film. It even inspired the cinematography of a short film I made, I also thought a lot about the nihilistic feel in it. I‘m glad I was not the only one.

[@freegadflyathome]

Definitely my favorite of that year. Great essay! As other's have mentioned, the performances are AMAZING! I interpreted the ending as real. They had amazing chemistry and an obvious connection throughout the film and she saved him as he saved her.

[@m.mishra9133]

I had forgotten this movie. This video reminded me how good it was. It's good to see someone covering unique movies like this.

[@miguelhernandez4975]

I watched this movie a couple years ago and I’m still haunted by it.

[@justaperson98]

I appreciate a well-crafted Joker diss.

[@zeromailss]

Alright, 2 minutes in and you sold me time to watch the movie, I will come back to this video tomorrow edit: Although I said tomorrow, it took me 3 months to finally watch the movie and come back to this video lol. My procrastination has gotten worse thanks to covid, And yea btw the movie is fantastic, I haven't watch movie for so long and I'm glad this is the first one I watch in a while, thank you for letting me know this exist

[@brentbrooks4842]

This video deserves more views.

[@enjoisk8a911]

As someone involved with environmentalism I loved seeing despair related to climate change as such a focal point of a movie. The movie was quite dark and introspective and that's already my cup of tea. It was a shame Hawke got snubbed on a nomination for this one

[@ezra6094]

This man does not miss! 🤩

[@RuiBarEdits]

What a wonderful choice!!

[@maxleal6969]

Great analogy from someone so young. Congrats

[@HerbOlTea]

Oh man this movie was so good and literally made break down the first time I saw it, glad you've made a video on it.

[@childofnaychur]

yesss.... new karsten video 😆

[@amandagracew]

I kind of love that you made this video so long after the movie came out because it makes me want to watch it again!

[@Badfish1978]

This film is an Incredible piece of art. Its no surprise a large amount of people dont resonate with this film.

[@emzzhere1071]

Hey Karsten, I would like to recommend u some Indian films... Amen Double barrel Angamaly diaries - available on youtube Ee maa yau - available on youtube Jallikattu - available on youtube Visaranai Asuran Gangs of Wasseypur series - available on youtube Njan prakashan Kumbalangi nights Munnariyippu The great Indian kitchen Tumbbad Hellaro Ozhivudivasathe kali - available on youtube Trust me, these movies are not like majority of the Indian films, THEY DONT HAVE THE ABILITY TO DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS

[@emzzhere1071]

Jallikattu is India's official entry to the Oscars and it was screened at TIFF

[@gabefranco6572]

Last time I was this early I was well rested enough to come up with a quippy comment.

[@AxxLAfriku]

GAGAGAGAGAAGAG this is wonderful! PRANK! It is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. GAGAGAGAG! But I am happy again because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I make cool YT videos with them! Good evening, love and peace, dear gab

[@powerofmovies687]

One of the most important movies,There is a conversation scene that I can not forget ,The whole film is a masterpiece ,These kind of great films always didn’t get the deserved recognition among the films awards ,They care more about a superficial entertainment or silly type of movies ,Thanks

[@jonahtrashcan]

nice video. I like this clean style

[@lolololololollol4793]

its crazy because i watched this movie right after it came out and i got a sudden urge to rewatch it then you uploaded this video.

[@HollyandKatie109]

The video I've been asking for, finally!!

[@nk6522]

Love this essay. Made me appreciate the film a lot more

[@veerarya612]

my god i love this movie so much

[@petrabolta574]

this movie really is a masterpiece. i enjoyed your thoughts and am very intrigued by you calling it the defining movie of 2010s. might have to think on that

[@tymoviedatabase7788]

It's a crime that Ethan Hawke wasn't nominated for the Oscar and everything else. Except for Critic's Choice. I easily would have nominated him over Willem Dafoe. I don't care what people say, Rami Malek deserved the Oscar that year.

[@Jezewl]

Literally almost perfect movie

[@phillipporter4642]

I haven't watched the video yet but its making me want to watch First Reformed yet again.

[@drumOska]

Karsten you’ve grown man! Great perspectives! Keep it up

[@IceCweam11]

super interesting! been meaning to rewatch this one and think on it more

[@emr69]

this movie is in my top 5 ever, easily. i haven't stopped thinking about since i watched it

[@pdzombie1906]

Watch Robert Bresson's "Journal d'un curé de campagne" if you want to understand what Schrader was going for...

[@alico7216]

This movie is so underrated, love to see it getting some love

[@joshsiewert2185]

Your best video yet Karsten.

[@wvu982000]

i hate how your so underrated

[@DaCarnival]

I think comparing the despair of First Reformed (2018), to the courage of Woman at War (Icelandic film, same year) makes for a nice double feature. Two sides of the environmental panic and dread, with opposite, but similarly extreme reactions - with equally extreme differences in filmmaking choices; one being a very stark drama, the other a very stylised comedy. There are subtle points of comparison too - there is the looming arrival of a child and what that means, and the question of how media and news washes over us in emotional waves. Check it out if you haven't seen it!

[@bradastra6111]

well going to the list, thanks xD

[@KMHill]

I love your videos. Thanks so much for making them.

[@TheMindIlluminated]

I feel like I am reverend toller. That character is me, exactly. I watch this movie regularly.

[@PaperlessWriter]

You may be young but you're watching all the right films and your thoughts on this film are both thoughtful and interesting. Thanks for the video on this worthwhile film and keep up the good work:)

[@JWCurry]

WHAT I WATCHED IN DECEMBER!!

[@drewgadbois]

I love this movie, but I really hope you watched Diary of a Country Priest and Winter Light as well because Schrader was heavily influenced by those two films, to the point where it can almost be called a remake of them

[@finnpatrick2763]

Been waitin for this

[@rhythmoffear6171]

Thank you

[@CatManDoom84]

"combine that with the ignorance you didnt know you had". OOOF! Thats some real stuff!

[@anthonycoolboi7781]

dang there was a lot in this one.

[@kristiangreene4988]

You know a film is gonna be bleak when it takes place in upstate New York

[@6gooses]

This movie is just a modern day Winters Light

[@chriskalil8381]

I was in a transitional place when I first watched this film. It changed me. It changed my view of the world and the unfounded optimism that I had about its state. I was in a impressionable mood, but very few movies have effected me the way that First Reformed did.

[@seankovacs4917]

Just saw it, great film. It was a little distant at times for me personally, but overall it's pretty perfect

[@leeannremiker5758]

i might just need to rewatch this gem...

[@nicolefegan]

this is the best film of the last decade, hands down