The Difficulties of FASD

We had the pleasure of interviewing a wonderful family about their experience with FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome), a type of birth defect in the FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorders) category. Anne and Becky love their adopted child, Demonte, and change their lives in order to accommodate the needs that come with FAS. Please help spread the message to not drink alcohol during pregnancy. If you see a pregnant woman reach for that glass, speak up.
Video Creators:
Sandy Ren, Duke University Class of 2015
Jeremy Hsiang, Duke University Class of 2014
This video was completed as part of a psychology class at Duke entitled "Alcohol: Brain, Individual, and Society" taught by Amir Rezvani, PhD.

[@Achayok]

I was diagnosed with FAS in 1976...and I have had a very full life. I’ve studied cosmetology, respiratory therapy, child development and I am now a florist. I have been married 30 yrs, have five children & four grandbabies. My mother died of alcoholism but I decided at a young age: You can learn from her mistakes. Live life to the fullest😃👍

[@99rylee]

All Day Mom your extremely high functioning and your hardly affected by it. Your about as normal as they come. I have the diagnosis and for me having the things and the life you have is nothing but a fantasy for me. Your extremely blessed, it must be nice to have the life you have. I'm not capable of getting a high school because my math level is grade 3 and my English grammar lever is about grade 5 or 6. Although my iq is high average I still have many deficits but I also have even more strengths. Attaining employment is also difficult, making friends/ finding ppl to accept me for me, I'm usually marginalised and used, abused and taken advantage of at times, because my self esteem is low because I'm assuming because of my fasd. Anyway that's just a bit about me. When I'm in God's Kingdom I'll then be perfect. God bless you.

[@Achayok]

My FAS effected me physically: three missing vertebrae in my neck, scoliosis in my spine and one shoulder is higher than the other. I did have tutors all through school. Math was a big challenge but I did own my own business later on in life. I do now know how to run a cash register. Huge accomplishment!👌🏽Never give up! Keep trying😍You can do it friends.

[@viewerabundzu6887]

bless you

[@demonte1o115]

Thank you all I'm demonte I'm 14 now it's gotten much better

[@sandyren]

We are both so glad you are doing so much better! Thanks for letting us share a part of your story.

[@demonte1o115]

@@sandyren no problem

[@sissyrayself7508]

I too have FASD. I too find myself focusing on what I CAN'T do. The most challenging thing is to redirect my mind on to what I CAN do. My strengths. That's what I want to fix my focus on.

[@99rylee]

I have FASD and I can relate too some of the things that he suffers from. Fasd is the worst developmental disorder/ diagnosis out there because it affects every aspect of that person's life on every level. It's frustrating to live with and it's aggravating. The secondary disabilities and including being vulnerable to be treated abusivly and with constant disrespect is a constant threat for many. I know as I live with it everyday. Secondary disabilities include trouble with the law, dropping out of high school, targeted by horrible ppl, eating and other psychiatric disorders or illnesses. Fasd is mere nightmare to live with each day.

[@aimeeyoule3331]

Hi I'm Aimee & I'm 19 years old. My 18 years old brother has FASD & we adopted him when he was 5.

[@islaemily1785]

This made me cry never related to a kid so much in my life I have much respect for him and his bravery for doing this 🙏

[@cathyogara3964]

Thank you for sharing your story. My adopted daughter Gaia is only 5 and a half, and she has been diagnosed with severe cognitive delays and ADD. This video is a revelation for me.

[@ryangrant3206]

I'm a 14 year old girl and I have FASD I think this kids is very strong I'm proud of him for how well he deals with it and it was really tough for me at that age too for the same reasons and it still is tough

[@fadedaf]

What a beautiful and brave kid. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@annebrantley1953]

Thanks Dominic - he is pretty great in our eyes, but we are most certainly biased.

[@sazgallag174]

That was touching, respectful and informative ♡

[@jessicadelavega619]

These 2 ladies are amazing angels!

[@annebrantley1953]

Thanks Jessica!

[@joannevajpey8540]

I love this video. It's so easy to feel the love that both Moms have for Demonte...I can especially see it when Demonte and Anne are being interviewed; Anne is beside him, she's there for him to lean on or cuddle but she lets him speak and lets him answer the questions from the interviewer. Their pride in this child is obvious!

[@annebrantley1953]

Thanks Joanne, we are most certainly proud of our guy - he is so insightful and gifted with letting us know how he feels. I'm glad you enjoyed the video.

[@vaporstormcalgary429]

Thank you for your video......My son is almost 9 now and he has FASD...I see him on the weekends, but my cousin has full time care of him....its hard as the birthmother, but I've found recovery through AA now, and one day at a time, I've had sobriety, but there is some guilt as I had wished this didn't happen to my son...I was just so bad in the addiction at the time, so I can't look back now, just forward....I learn more and more about FASD with videos that awesome people like you make, thank you! BTW your son is awesome!

[@vaporstormcalgary429]

***** I'm sorry I misunderstood, I do not drink today, I have a family business with my husband of 7 years that I met in my recovery. Recovery is one day at a time. I still see my son and those times are important to me and my other two daughters (his 1/2 sisters). FASD reveals itself very similar to Autism and I respect and admire those who live with the condition. You are brave and strong & have a wonderful story.

[@vaporstormcalgary429]

***** 👍😊

[@robertcrotone2430]

my son has fasd without the face deformities hes now 24 and thinks he has autism, i feel guilt everyday what i did to him i love him so much but im so frightened to tell him the truth that iwas an alcoholic at the time and i didnt mean to do this to him. im so sad i see this awful condition everyday in him his anxieties his worries hes like a child, and i know he loves me so much, should i kill myself for giving my lad this terrible illness , i dont know, i do everything for him, take him out help him with everything. i am a recovered alcoholic now, if i would have known i was doing this to my child whilst he was inside of me, i would have got help for my addiction.

[@simonmarsden7402]

Robert Crotone please don't blame yourself. I have never been diagnosed. I do know I have fas though. My mum knew there was something wrong. I remember her taking me to the doctor as a infant. She helped me by taking me to English to learn to read and write out of school. The same with maths. I know she knew there was something wrong. She now as dementia at 66 and I now feel like I'm dealing with me like she did. I hope that makes sense. I think her dementia was caused by being alcoholic. I always knew there was something but I just felt like there was something missing. My mum was and still is the best mum in the world and although it hurt me when I found the answer to my problems growing up I know she didn't know what it could do to me. I know she blamed herself but she didn't know why and still doesn't. I never blamed her as I know she didn't know what she'd done but now I have sort of come to terms with it. I have a job although sometimes it's hard to appear normal. No one knows about me and it's hard but please don't blame yourself. I wish I could talk to mum about it but I can't. I love her and she has always done the best for me. I have nothing to forgive her for. She didn't know and I hope this helps you xxx

[@amykeever8527]

Hes so lucky to have you both :)

[@pipeorganfan26]

MY GOD! WHAT A KID. It is looking at your self younger from adult perspective. I BAWLED MY EYES OUT! THAT IS ME % ! Love That Kids For All It's Worth. Kids Like Him are priceless.

[@annebrantley1953]

Thanks Paul - he is amazing. So glad you enjoyed the video.

[@phyllismontoroula6454]

Your two women are very good parents I love the way you take care of your son

[@BrooklinFunkProject]

Thank you for sharing. You have a beautiful family.

[@ellioshiem7892]

Great parents. Great child. I love them.

[@annebrantley1953]

Thanks so much!

[@cairosilver2932]

Is there a transcript for this? Some of it seems to be extra important observations but I can't make out the words.

[@amykeever8527]

I wish i could correspond with you all.......I adopted two FASD children after my two biological children and there have been so challenges with the youngest FASD..............Im searching so hard to find answers

[@annebrantley1953]

Hi Amy! I sent you a facebook message in case you still need to connect. :)

[@alisagriffiths4414]

I also have alot of breathing problems like asthma and aparalized vocal cord 0 also have ptsd it is not easy aalot of times!

[@susanredman5370]

I have fasd I hate it so much it is very hard for me every single day

[@aplam94]

I have ADHD and FASD and dyslixa

[@ffishfinger]

Great video, very informative. Really sweet couple too. Would love to hear an update on the family... without the whining dog this time though haha!

[@annebrantley1953]

Hi - Thanks for your comment! We are doing very well - our son just turned 13. A couple of years ago we decided to put him in private school, and in many ways he is thriving. Academics continue to be a struggle for him, but he enjoys the social aspect for sure. The dog continues to whine, but she tries to do her best. :)

[@theweightofdarkness]

I love the calmness that the butch mom radiates.

[@annebrantley1953]

Your comment made me laugh! Thanks for the calm comment, I hear that a lot. :)

[@phyllismontoroula6454]

I'm special needs I have learning disabity

[@alisagriffiths4414]

I would like to help sponser Fasd

[@praduhhh80]

I have fasd

[@kwaivioussankensa3664]

As they say, fasd and furious!

[@monicaortiz6016]

how are they sure it is fetal alcohol syndrome he really doesnt have the facial features did they have hes braine scanned hes upper lip is really not smooth...?

[@annebrantley1953]

Hi Monica - he was diagnosed by a physician at Fullerton Genetics in NC.

[@alisagriffiths4414]

hi my name is alisa griffiths . i have fasd

[@mellaneshiamodica6379]

You should not drink with your child SMH . That is preventable 100%

[@annebrantley1953]

Although I agree with you - it is good to keep in mind that often drinking can occur before the woman even knows she is pregnant.

[@candyjones3652]

We know that now. This diagnosis started in 1992.a glass of wine a day was not only excepted but encouraged before we found fas.i suspect that i have it, i know my daughter does and millions of ppl that may go their whole lives wondering why they feel different and never know enough to get tested for fas. I'm sure the government doesn't want ppl to know about fas as there has been no media coverage on it for almost 2 decades. We need to spread the word ourselves as to the huge dangers of drinking while pregnant. My God it's so easy to go out and buy a bottle of wine and innocently have it with dinner not knowing that your poisoning your baby.... no one wants that!... so that's why i talk about it ed bru chance i get. I will also tell pregnant woman not to drink alcohol while pregnant every chance i get. God bless us all and this little boy in this vid is adorable.

[@makoshrak1085]

Fnaf team