The Disturbing Effect of Child Neglect

[@theorist]

Click for another Jack Stauber Video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gqnJqKqpirODrrcsi=kXooxh_dEQyxH11w The Opal video was originally blocked by Turner, meaning I couldn't even upload it. Managed to get it watchable but not monetized (not monetized by me. Might still have ads but Turner is paid for them) Glad I was able to get this one out though :) www.patreon.com/everydaytheorist

[@missmalaphor5786]

I want you to know that your viewers do see you and hear you. I’m so sorry you went through what you did. I wish you so much happiness in your future.

[@magbywithrequiem7344]

Who is Turner?

[@-saltheknight-7318]

@@magbywithrequiem7344 The company that owns Adult Swim

[@theorist]

@@magbywithrequiem7344 turner is the parent company that owns adult swim. From what Ive researched at least. Since adult swim made this, they blocked it. But i appealed and got it overturned to Not Blocked. But no money is given to me if they play ads on it

[@gooeydude574]

Damn it, Timmy Turner

[@sn4r3333]

this short film was so upsetting genuinely. the drunk mom character hit home so hard. the way she’s self aware and “feels bad” yet continues to traumatize the child with her drunk rants. tooooo real

[@rainbowpuppet77]

no literally like it gave me full on flashbacks the rants and incoherent slurring of words from an alcoholic is the worst especially from a parent!

[@yeahokbuddy2510]

Way too real. I’m glad my dad has been sober now since 2020. I’m 24 now. For 21 years of my life I had to deal with my drunken father who knew he shouldn’t drink but he still did. Even after the multiple hospital visits for his drinking didnt have an affect on him. It took him crashing into a house and the possibility of jail time that made him quit. He’s so selfish for that. I still love him though, he’s not a bad man. I wish he never drank. I wish he took me fishing whenever I asked him when I was a kid. I have hundreds of fishing outings by myself but only a few with my dad

[@toaster9922]

It’s like my dad. Fuck.

[@kittykins9571]

Dude same--- My mom was never an alchogolic but she did this same exact thing to me all the time and ughhh

[@aliceinchainz]

yeah same, my dad has been sober for a little over a year but it took a severe toll on my mental health. he wasn’t abusive physically, but very mentally draining and some instances could be cruel. i love my dad don’t get me wrong…but it’s just something i can’t forget. it’s why i don’t drink or even like alcohol, ppl think i’m a prude ‘cause of that but those who live in a bubble wouldn’t get it

[@TheHengeProphet]

The grandfather saying "Hi, Opal!" seems fairly key in that the grandfather recognizes his granddaughter, something her own grandfather does not do.

[@birdtutorialart]

Bingo. I think the “hi opal” is him just recognizing her, because in real life he doesn’t know who she is anymore

[@Hm-ek6ve]

I also found that the dad saying “That’s my girl” directly points to the fact that her real father doesn’t acknowledge her as he is too caught up in himself. I can’t really figure out what “there she is” might mean for her mother though.

[@xxwolfrocksxx1829]

​@@Hm-ek6vePerhaps its her mother acknowledging her, which her real mother doesn't do?

[@patheticghost7853]

@@Hm-ek6ve I think it might also be the imaginary mother allowing her to be independent and achieve something, actually caring of the growth of her own child instead of using Opal/ Claire to be emotional support and depending on Opal to share her own emotional turmoil which she tries drowning out with escapism (bad romance novels that glorifies abuse which is seen at the intro where wine was spilled on a book, incredibly unhealthy consumption achohol and pills). Her mother also says that Opal/ Claire is also helpless like her.

[@NEMOPMORPHY]

Maybe that response of the mother is to intimate the opposite image of ownership or usage as she does in real life. So she says, “there She is” as in her own person, also not as an object/the pill image. So her mothers response in the fantasy is that she is humanized by her mother. That hits hard for me, I’m my mothers second son, she gave the first up for adoption. They found each other after 40 years and I now know why my life has been a living hell. I was depersonalized into a tool with which my mom kept my dad around, he kept telling her he didn’t want to get into a relationship. . . But here we are, 35 years or so later and I have super debilitating paranoid schizophrenia and I live with my dad who left my abusive mother. She lives alone now for the first time in her life. I won’t speak with her or see her ever again, but sometimes I hear her voice on the phone( when someone else is on the phone with her) and I’ll cry for hours. I wish she would just apologize for one thing, any thing. I wish she would read my poetry, it’s the only thing I’m good at, most of my 1,500 poems are about mothers or moms and she hasn’t read or listened to a single one. She heard me reading to myself one poem that I wrote about God and she muttered to herself, “He will be the only one of us that will be remembered.” But that wasn’t praise, it was spoken to no one. . . It was hatred and jealousy. This is probably the only poem of mine my mother has ever heard/seen PERSONA, THE MASK December 20, 2019 2:03am The pen becomes unbearably heavy Once the word it presses upon is known The dot becomes eyes Crosses itself becomes trees The heart is the center Of all things that flow Rivers of passion Songs of many birds Walks along the ocean Even mountains stir emotion Hills and valleys Take me up and away In nooks and crannies Motes gather and play All the way up in Heaven To beneath the turtles shell The pen and the word takes me Footsteps always lonely Though someone was here before Pulled a sword from a stone Carved many scenes from living fabric The weft and weave of reality The point and to wield it The focus of a thought not my own To be worthy of the company it brings For how long who knows It was and always has been Impressed by us in dust and dirt On paper and in songs In sermons and lectures Landscapes and portraits The many faces of God

[@binkyboy448]

A point of confusion that's explained in the official synopsis is that the "heavenly music" Opal hears from the top window is actually the sound of someone's crying, and she feels lured by it and decides to brave the house to see who could be in need of help, just to realize it's herself, and that she has nobody.

[@blackmooncultx9552]

Oof. That hit hard.

[@bellathesmolneko9159]

That’s so sad

[@zacharym4592]

Holy shit

[@theorist]

this is why I love putting stuff like this out there. thanks for sharing your insight. definitely gave me a new perspective on Opal

[@NeidenHalffur]

Oh my God. That is brilliant and great! I agree

[@cutetwirll]

I noticed that Claire's face gets more wrinkly throughout the short, then smooths out when she's back in her imaginary family

[@weilyonTOP]

Not sure if you were implying this but I'm gonna add my two cents anyways. I think this is meant to symbolize stress building up as she makes her way through her house. People always say wrinkles can be caused by stress so it would make sense. When she loses the wrinkles when shes back with her imaginary family it makes sense with that explanation of the wrinkles, that imaginary family being her way to cope with the stress.

[@danastalyn]

also, her face is half the size of the 'real' opal from the comercial. She is malnourished. It is so heartbreaking

[@descensiongrime6409]

@@weilyonTOPon that same train of thought I made a quick stop to the idea that childhood trauma especially neglect forces us to grow up too soon so the wrinkles can also show the metaphorical aging she’s going through just by being in the house

[@vaomnumba2]

​​@@weilyonTOP It could also represent how Claire sees both of the families. With the IMAGINARY family, they care for her in the way she wants her real family to. They don't have issues to project onto her, they actively acknowledge her- They're smoothed out because they're what a perfect family looks like to her (which is also backed up by her using the name 'Opal' and imagining what they look like from the billboard). Versus her REAL family, which we can see is in utter turmoil and neglectful towards her, only asking for attention from her and never genuinely giving it back. Their wrinkles represent their flaws.

[@ILikeGrayTabbies]

I realized that too!

[@dire1031]

Claire’s story is one that resonates. It’s very common for children who experience neglect to use maladaptive daydreaming to bury their trauma.

[@paradiserestored6179]

I did this a lot as a child and dissociated a lot

[@Dancingonthesun]

I can still disassociate whenever I want

[@haydentravis3348]

Dissociation is a helluva drug.

[@aquariumstudios1430]

Ayyyyyyyyyy my people

[@paradiserestored6179]

@@Dancingonthesun I have to stop myself from doing it now! 😭

[@telite7263]

I always noticed this detail in this short story that everyone seems to overlook. Claire quite literally is trying to mimic Opal’s look, from the hair down to the clothes she wears. It really goes to show how badly Claire needs a better family.

[@mint_marigold1229]

I just realized Claire's hair isn't in pigtails, at least not in hairties or anything. She's wearing her hair down, just adjusted to be more to the sides like Opal's. The only way Claire would be able to do that was if her hair was extremely greasy or wet, which it most likely is since she lives in an abusive household where she probably doesn't have many chances to shower or bathe.

[@yuanwang9324]

We never see choosing what to wear or how to do her hair. They both also happened to be blonde, I just assumed it was coincidental. Also they had to look similar in order for the audience to make the connection that Claire was Opal, though personally I feel like if Opal was visually different to Claire, it would be more sad because Claire has to distance herself from reality even more to identify as Opal.

[@s0dium_11]

the mom is also blonde, the dad has a similar hair, and the grandpa is a bit fat like the real ones, I think it´s not Claire trying to be Opal, but everyone has an opinion

[@saturationstation1446]

real tragedy of the story thats well over most of your heads due to benefitting from this system, is the fact that its pointing out how eurocentric culture places no value on the well being of people and only prioritizes those willing to abuse and neglect.

[@beepaz3335]

What I feel like might be overlooked is that opal/claire says absolutely nothing in the whole vid

[@d4n737]

The saddest thing that has pretty much been pointed out is that the big fantasy she has of her family is "We see you, Opal". Not only is that the height of her ambitions, but she doesn't even use her own name, not only can nobody else see her, she can't see herself

[@rat2131]

i did something similar as a child, and i continue to do this today i had assumed it was some sort of dissociative disorder

[@JackHaro-r8q]

​@@rat2131Keen. But seemingly the same or at the least a very similar result is presently emerging in society these days. Each cycle of parents over time became more and more neglectful. Public school & TV grew into the ideal baby sitters. Now it's smart phones.

[@larsatticus6807]

I know a few people who changed their names as adults because of childhood trauma leaving them with bad associations. It can be a way to reclaim yourself as your own person outside of who your parents wanted to see. And I don't think the blame can just be pinned on technology. These adults have a responsibility to their children, to cope with their own trauma instead of placing such impossible expectations and perceptions on a kid. The internet has given many people a new escape, both by learning that their experiences aren't the norm and by finding other people to connect with and build healthy connections to.

[@tinyger]

So sorry yall u went through that, honestly that’s something I love God for, because he said he would never leave us nor forsake, and is that perfect father we always dreamed of, then the fact that he would give us a way to heaven through Christ, it’s all to good with that relationship hope u guys join the family, but ur amazing and I love yall 💕

[@ellismhosei]

​@@larsatticus6807Fantastic comment. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@pipsqueakerdoobie]

I once took care of a kid who looked healthy, but was emotionally and psychologically neglected. His parents were never married, his mom couldnt handle his autism and just sat him in front of a tv and games all day and did the bare minimum on keeping him fed. His dad shared custody, but lived with his girlfriend who wanted kids, but of her own and didnt really like the boy because he was from a past relationship. All i did was read books to him and ask him his favorite food, and he was so deprived of love that he put his head on my lap and kept moving my hand to pat his head. He followed me around and hugged my leg when i did chores around the house. It broke my heart.

[@IzzyIsIsi]

If I may, what happened to the kid? You once took care of them, meaning you're no longer in care of them right? If it's okay to ask, is the kid doing a bit better now?

[@pipsqueakerdoobie]

@IzzyIsIsi I hope he's doing better. I didn't have any legal claim over him, and CPS wouldn't do anything because the kid's basic needs were being met and he wasn't being physicslly abused or living in bad conditions. I moved away and didn't talk to the parents again, had no reason to. But I'm holding out hope that that kid is doing alright.

[@GeorgKallenbach]

You described my Girlfriend on point

[@aztergiu]

wtf he sounds literally like me

[@VirtualHolocaust]

One thing i think you missed was that the little girl was drooling at the idea of the burger. If you notice a little bit of drool hits the top of the burger. Which could also point towards your idea of the child being malnourished. Obviously both physically but also psychologically.

[@VirtualHolocaust]

perhaps the reason she dances with the burger instead of trying to eat it is because a small part of her sees that its not actually food just the idea of the food.

[@iglusmulmus5171]

That droplet was sweat from the father I believe, you can see him sweating right afterwards

[@esprero]

that was sweat

[@VirtualHolocaust]

@@iglusmulmus5171 onto the burger?

[@VirtualHolocaust]

@@esprero i thought i seen it drip on the top of the burger

[@Sugerskull]

My mother had four children , I was the youngest one that was neglected. I was molested by my uncle and my cousins when I was young child . If I would say anything I would get threatened by them or get a beating . I believe if my mother did pay attention to me she would of known a difference on my behavior when the molestation was going on. When I turned 18 I felt she was relieved that I left . I'm 45 years old til this day she still doesn't know what happened to me. I am a broken man that lives alone ,I have a problem with anyone touching me i dont trust anyone ,i live in a void . Til this day it never leaves me . I will choose to live alone til the day I die . Please don't neglect your children , every child deserves to be protected and loved.

[@cakeofvanilla5612]

You poor thing. You deserve company. You deserve to feel safe. Please keep looking for help because you can get better. Your past does not define you and god loves you. ❤

[@seizure9328]

damn man

[@KJV_1789]

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. Isaiah 66:10 Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her: 11 That ye may suck, and be satisfied with the breasts of her consolations; that ye may milk out, and be delighted with the abundance of her glory. 12 For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the Gentiles like a flowing stream: then shall ye suck, ye shall be borne upon her sides, and be dandled upon her knees. 13 As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem. 14 And when ye see this, your heart shall rejoice, and your bones shall flourish like an herb: and the hand of the LORD shall be known toward his servants, and his indignation toward his enemies. 15 For, behold, the LORD will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire. 16 For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many. KJV The new versions are perversions. God knows your pain. Seek His help. May The grace and peace of God, The Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

[@magdalenabarylska6163]

Umm, instead of quoting half of Bible, I will just wish you all the best. Please take care. And one thing to remember - you deserve to be happy too. I'm just telling you that because I met somebody who was feeling just as empty as you and he told me he would gladly just die. He thought he didn't deserve anything good and that he was a nobody. To this day I sometimes have to remind him that he is important. I don't know you, but look, you are important and you deserve good in your life too.

[@nik021298]

Jesuschrist preachers can be so annoying.

[@rociogallegossanchez]

Another side of child neglect: I was 12 and I didn't know how to use a knife and fork, how to tie my shoes or my own hair, how to wash my clothes or cutlery, nor how to prepare any food or drink for myself. I still even drank from baby cups and a baby bottle because i had never taught to transition out of it. I learnt everything from periods of public humiliation and observing others the few hours I was allowed to be outside. My school friends were crucial for me to learn common language, basic problem-solving skills and the overall behaviour a person my age should have. As an adult, I still feel stunted and behind from everyone else

[@randomstranger8938]

Omg, that hurts to read. It took til 16 to learn how to brush my teeth from a friend teaching me. I also feel stunted, still admiring toys and bad hygiene, I only hope to improve.

[@MASTEROFEVIL]

Good God. That's messed up

[@monokumasussy9685]

@@randomstranger8938there’s nothing wrong with liking toys! why do you think adults collect them? you should focus on your hygiene, though. it’s as easy as taking a quick shower, using some deodorant, and brushing your teeth in the morning and night. ❤❤❤

[@User-5x-y6v]

oh my .That's horrible hope everything gets only better

[@j110-z6p]

i’m so sorry you had to go through that, i hope everything gets better for you and i’m so proud of you for learning even the small things. you have a bright future ahead of you, don’t let anyone ever make you think otherwise

[@General-History101]

The feeling of being so alone as a child does more damage than anyone can imagine, and speaking from experience it's something that's incredibly difficult to get over.

[@SweetJiJiSama]

It really really does. Especially if this feeling persists for decades. It feels incredibly isolating and super unfair. It feels like it's impossible to heal from this without the support other healthier people have because they were lucky. I always felt like I didn't have parents (or a family at all tbh) and that I must have been adopted because parents wouldn't treat a child they love like this. I am not adopted but I wish I was, even as a young adult :' ) And at the same time they were (and still are) very controlling and I wasn't allowed to do shit. You get judged and shamed for just existing and being a human. Your needs are basically a joke to them. You just can't win. Neglect should never be downplayed or overlooked :c I hope my comment is okay and welcome because the neglect made me feel like I am never important enough and that there is no place for me in this world and all that shit :' ) that's why I almost never write comments lol *Rolls out and proceeds to hide*

[@JustaBoredRat]

Used to have Family envy really bad as a kid, spent most my time alone. that trauma never leaves we just find ways to deal as an adult, thankfully therapy is a thing and even then its hard to feel understood or seen.

[@nevadatan7323]

It creates existential loneliness.

[@BookOfKolaiah]

@@SweetJiJiSamaWe are the “Broken Children” comment section 😅 nobody has a right here to judge your comment, we’re all just trying to make it. You guys nailed it btw. I constantly feel like the people around me just don’t know how lucky they had it growing up truly feeling loved, seen, and supported, and not just when they were doing the right thing or being the perfect child but when they were just being themselves and as a result, them being themselves is as simple for them as breathing but for me is a day to day struggle. I didn’t watch this and feel like I was better than opal but I did think her escape being her bedroom was something I’d outgrown, but it seems I’ve just gotten too used to it to notice it’s still my safe haven too. *Rolls and hides as well*

[@SpongiousBird]

I've been so isolated and neglected that I became very clingy with my friends and relationships. Which always pushed people away. I always end up alone. And I deal with constant waves of emotion and depression. So I'm recently trying to accept and embrace being alone, as I was as a child, 25 years ago. *Rolls and hides too*

[@xqsk4506]

When you talk about her being malnourished, it makes more sense when she doesn't know what a burger is. Even if she never eat it, when you see something is on a plate, you would still think that the burger is a food and try to eat it. There's 2 reasons why she doesn't eat it either: 1) If she eats it, then she would realize this was an imagination sooner so her brain actively made her never think about eating the burger despite how hungry she is; or 2) She never eats, like not just burger, like any other foods (or at least on a plate)

[@ursidae97]

She's never seen a burger in any context except an image

[@ParsureArts]

I would guess that she dances because she’d never been able to just relax and eat before? Maybe she only eats when she can/in her room because the family never sits down at a table and eats like an ordinary family

[@Faesharlyn]

It wasn't hers. She could see it and smell it, probably could even see the juice and had seen her parents eating one before But she knows not to touch it because it's not hers.

[@zacharym4592]

I think the reason why she dances is not because she does not know what to do with the burger, rather she dances because of her elation and for the ability to be expressive. In many neglectful homes being individualistic or showing inner feelings is shunned. So having her imaginary parents watch her dance is just her way of being open and expressive.

[@StarryNight679]

Maybe she's too scared to eat, she feels like eating would be wasting time and money for her family. She also probably got punished for eating... Poor kid.

[@slimjongun5111]

It’s scary how anyone can have a kid. Not everyone is fit to be a parent.

[@MakeSureYouCleanUp]

And this country (America) tries to keep it that way. No education on how to raise children No choice in having the child or not Little support in taking care of children Expenses of even having a child are ridiculous Less funding for orphanages Foster children returned then being "put back on the market" online It's scary how we allow this to happen and point fingers at the parents when the real problem is the system we live in.

[@fred5529]

@dzthfbn cbvm Even before that, there's no sex education. In middle school and high school, the only sex education I got was about STDs and abstinence. This is in New York, which ranks 20th in education (according to USNews). Imagine the education people in Alabama, Missouri, and New Mexico, which ranks in the bottom in education got.

[@davitucsonn2243]

@@MakeSureYouCleanUp in fact, nobody wants to be the villain, humanity is just a marionette of what's controlling it, happiness, sadness or even madness, induced by what's taking over us at the certain moment, having a low wage and having to grow up your child with all your efforts is probably very stressful and you're going to have to stand this for years, it can be quite nice for someone but most people will not have it easy

[@Celestialnighthawk]

It’s a piece of them not you mind your business and worry about your kids

[@Celestialnighthawk]

It’s a piece of them not you mind your business and worry about your kids

[@Bingbongq]

Its upsetting how common childhood trauma and neglect is

[@that1person695]

Neglect is so common. But not a lot of people think it's as serious as other forms of abuse.

[@that1person695]

@@beab8738 I do agree that abuse has lost a lot of it's meaning due to overuse. Though that's not what abuse used to mean. Most people use the word abuse when they should use mistreatment. When I say abuse, I refer to the actual definition and main types of abuse. Like physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and neglect are the main types of abuse. But neglect is often overlooked and ignored.

[@rebeccacummings6697]

@@that1person695 Abuse is a synonym of mistreatment. There are many definitions of abuse...

[@that1person695]

@@rebeccacummings6697 True. But it doesn't hold the same power as abuse.

[@Leibhaber83]

Goes to show how similar we really are. And that it might be a sign to make a change

[@EdwardMcAlmont]

I literally started crying when I found out the reason she was dancing with the burger because she doesn't know she's supposed to eat it since she's never been given food

[@steady_lad]

"Alexa play despacito"

[@alicemadness999]

@@steady_lad well never be truly free huh

[@ToiletDestroyer2000]

@@steady_lad ???

[@ahkafkhan4512]

Damn.

[@SoloDoloToker]

That makes no sense shed be dead if she was never givne food

[@CD-ce8yg]

The number of details and how accurate Opal is stunning. It makes me wonder if Jack Stauber himself experienced this trauma.

[@kyrauniversal]

The best artists reflect their reality.

[@whyl0ser91]

Probably

[@TheCanadianWeeb5]

his style does seem to have some of this implied in his songs

[@lmfao9299]

Art imitates life

[@juanmccoy3066]

Of course he did. U don't make something like this just because.

[@siggevibes]

He's basically a genius. One guy to make the story, the acting, the visuals, the music, the everything basically. That's a lot of talent in just one guy.

[@Cohen-]

Well if you watch the credits, it actually wasn't all him, he did have help :), but he definitely was the main integral part for sure

[@tonitski]

too bad i rarely understand something deep unless explained in detail like this

[@gatertod2018]

YES I love him, and after I found him on KZbin I found opal and I realized my family is the same but not as dramatic, family- divorced, dad only cares about himself and was definitely damaged by a cheating ex wife, mother always drank and smoked pot, never spent time with her kids, stepdad literally just doesn’t exist in my life he is kinda just there, he knows nothing about me personally, stepmom is a Karen…. Nuf said was always neglected as a kid so I stay away from anything ending in ship 😂, might not sound good but I’m happy and I moved away

[@canobenitez]

@@tonitski I think it is a good thing, from what I read all the comments that says that it relates to them are because they had shitty families.

[@tonitski]

@@canobenitez not really,my family isn't perfect too,my mother is one of those types that shouldn't be let to have kids,and i hate it when she act all innocent of all the harm she have done to us,and father is always out of the picture bcos of work...but i guess i do have to be grateful bcos i have the necessities in life,but do I really have to suffer like that?my younger self didn't deserved to suffer like that, nobody does, just for a chance to have a better life. oh well.

[@TheRealCrungus]

Im surprised no one has noticed that in the begining sequences "Opal" has four lights in her eyes, when they go off as she steps out the window, they disappear. Only to come back again as Clair looks out her own window and realizes it's all an illusion. (Most likely symbolizing the billboard.) Just an interesting detail I saw and wanted to share

[@e_i_e_i_bro]

Those were reflections from the 4 ceilings lights above the bed in her room

[@aint.responsible]

i think those were the billboard lights, might be symbolism for how whenever she stares at the billboard she goes into her dream world.

[@TheRealCrungus]

@@e_i_e_i_bro nope, if they were they would've been on the parents eyes in the begining, and the hallway light are in 1's. Most definitely the billboard

[@OutlasterTwink]

Everyone in the original video's comments noticed this, but yeah. This short really is quite the story.

[@theskyisart]

13:28 I think with the burger, she is only dancing with it and not eating it because shes still starving. Shes hiding in her imagination, and while it calms her and gives her a feeling of safety it doesn’t make her safe. She is still neglected and starved.

[@eehlohluell]

I jive with your comment, I do wonder if they have an interview

[@soulresonance4073]

The “we see you opal” line hit me hard, as a child I felt invisible, just wanted to be seen by my family. So hearing her fantasy family say “we see you” really struck a cord. Very relatable indeed, childhood neglect really leaves a mark.

[@yote333]

I felt that way for the majority of my childhood. Not only invisible to my family, but everyone around me except for a few select people. I’m still learning how to cope with feeling seen and ‘existing’ to the people around me because it’s still all so new to me. I really hope you’re in a better place now. You are seen and heard.

[@kandyappleview]

Yeah that part made me cry... My basic needs were taken care of growing up but the emotional neglect still makes me think people only pay attention to me as long as I'm giving them something they want. And I'm hyperindependent now because you can help them but they won't help you. Even when that's not the case, it's still hard to shake the feeling that it is.

[@bombdotcom2168]

The majority of my childhood was really similar. I had a mother who was a drug addict and only talked to me when she needed something. She never cared about when I was hurting. I did have a lot of support from my dad, and he helped me any way he could, but that neglect from my mom still leaves me seeking love and affection from her to this day now that I've been out of her house for a few years now.

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

oh same-im gonna go cry after things when i read these types of comments i think 'are you sure was it that deep' yeah it was---we can all use dedicated time to cry ig

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

You know, when i was 12 i felt so old i had a narcisstic parent and i was counting the days to when id be to old to run away to foster care--and how the older i was the less likely id be to be adopted-age was a value when you didnt have security, it meant the abuser had more responsibility for you-less they could legally abuse you without pinning it on you or spinning it that youre a 'teenager'

[@aliciasepulveda8493]

She even has the billboards lights reflect in her eyes in the beginning of the film. A small detail that I think adds so much more to the delusion Clair lives in and the horrific reality of her life.

[@skeebys]

I also noticed that at the start when you see the imaginary dad, he has the same expression as the billboard, but then snaps to life, and clairs expression is the one she was making in her room

[@TamperedMarioBros]

The fact that when her perfect family sings all they say is "we see you" and "hi opal" not even a love you. This tells us that opal cant even imagine getting a I love you from her family. Her biggest achievement in life is just to be acknowledged. (EDIT) Not to be that guy but OMG 7.4K LIKES THANK YOU GUYS!

[@mmastoryline623]

💔💔😭😭😭

[@DeathMelodies]

This just made me realize that my neglect was actually pretty bad. Huh. I just thought I didn't "need" love, just being seen.

[@atlasucks4]

@@DeathMelodiesbro u messed up childhood

[@atlasucks4]

@@DeathMelodiesi mean have

[@atlasucks4]

@@DeathMelodieswait

[@indigofeels]

"posting my opinions everywhere trying to get validation for what i believe in" you just helped me realize why i so often get carried away talking about my interests whenever someone seems to be listening

[@bean_burrito4337]

Things like this remind me of a quote, "art is meant to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable"

[@GorggW]

you don't have any replies cuz we don't want to admit we're disturbed

[@Yourweird812]

It’s not even disturbing

[@KerropiKirby]

@@Yourweird812it is a little bit. Purposely though of course.

[@DaNkDUROO]

It’s obscure as hell

[@doesnotFempute]

Well, I'll be dambed. I was rather comfortable before being jarred into flashbacks of memories I had forgotten for years. Guess I'll eat cheese in the dark now.

[@Raywasheresoyeah]

The fact that the fake family is not saying things like we love you opal, or we care about you, there just saying that they see her, it gives me goosebumps sometimes.

[@amethystimagination3332]

Sometimes being told that you’re seen is a comforting thing, like they recognize what you’re going through and your not alone. But in this case it’s just Claire’s mind begging for the bare minimum of positive affection

[@DuckNamedKarma]

i find them not saying i love you, as like, her abusive family says i love you but she doesn’t know what it means, because she doesn’t feel it.

[@shatteredscry]

This kid's telling of love was probably very twisted, so she doesn't like the word anymore.

[@grey.tmc.]

@@DuckNamedKarmareal

[@K.Arashi]

the way claire tiptoed in her own house and her visible terror at any interactions with her family hit way too close to home. i physically flinched when she stepped on the chip bag.

[@maxpotiontcg]

I’m sorry you couldn’t feel safe at home. Hope it helps to know you were not alone.

[@chrism8180]

Me and my brother both still walk on our tip toes purely out of a learned habit.

[@chuotaubep6850]

@@chrism8180my calves are ripped from doing this all my life lol

[@SSSSSSSS130]

pick me

[@R3alN1ggaz]

@@SSSSSSSS130nigga wtf are u talkin about

[@AdamApplebaum]

This thumbnail has haunted me for months now I'm finally watching this video.

[@simzz3957]

Same I only just had the courage to click😭

[@kittypost3929]

I noticed that in Claire’s dream, when she picks up the burger, she dances. Of course, it’s probably because she doesn’t know that she’s supposed to eat the burger, but I also think it’s because it’s the one thing she can’t do at her house. She can’t dance because it’ll draw negative attention to her and she’ll be abused. She’s not allowed to be a kid and be loud, instead she has to keep quiet and walk on eggshells inside the house. Edit: I have to mention that when she dances, she looks so genuinely happy.

[@YEY0806]

I also believe that the reason she dances with the burger is possibly to imitate the billboard where "opal" dances with the burger or is shown not eating the burger which makes Claire believe that's what burgers are for

[@OkOk-eq8tu]

Chair

[@js-yall]

God it's really the little things like not admitting faults. My family wasn't as bad as Claire's but just how they potrayed how alone and afraid Claire felt in her own home. It kinda took me back honestly.

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

Not feeling safe in your own home harmful in a way I didn't understand. It's insecure attachment, meaning you don't want to leave but you don't feel comfortable where you are. It's like belonging to nowhere.

[@Datboljayson]

Honestly.

[@FormulaFanboy]

@@bunnywavyxx9524 Absolutely. I've experienced this to the max. I can testify that when you're an only child, and have a single, narcissistic parent, it scars you for life.

[@Baggerz182]

repent to Christ God

[@StudlyFudd13]

I created fairtale lands in my head as a kid. To the point where it was so obvious to people around me they would mock and laugh at me for being "such an airhead" all the time. Just sit in one spot all day long dreaming of better ways to live. I still do it when things get tough for me, when things are too hard to face. It's my go to response that my brain takes. It worked back then and now I have to fight it in order to get anything done in real life. If I let it take over me I would never leave my bed, I would stay laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling dreaming my life away.

[@GhibliGirl29]

Ugh the mother truly hits me hard. I like how she said “I feel terrible for all of the things I-….I feel terrible….” She almost apologized for her own wrongdoings but caught herself. The mother is a narcissist too refuses to admit she did anything wrong.

[@huntermushero9362]

It does help highlight that there are two different kinds of narcissism. The grandiose narcissist would be the father, while the mother would fall under the vulnerable narcissist category. Both really only care about themselves but in different ways.

[@lyrica_overdose]

unlike the father, the mother dosent truly believe she has done nothing wrong so im not really sure i would call her a narcissist.

[@cookieslovecupcakes5844]

@@lyrica_overdoseshe would still technically be a narcissist. If she truly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong, she is still only thinking about herself and her own struggles, not about how it could have affected Claire in any way. That would still be narcissism, just more vulnerable like the previous person said. I have a parent like that, who is a mix of both grandiose and vulnerable. It’s not really fun.

[@lyrica_overdose]

@@cookieslovecupcakes5844 i think you misunderstood my comment, i meant that the mother is aware of her wrongdoings. sorry if i worded it wrong.. english is not my first language

[@MayvaAva]

@@lyrica_overdose narcissists can be aware of their wrongdoings and still be narcissists

[@AmmarNasarudin]

What I think is sad is that I think the dad was originally normal and possibly caring to Claire, but at 15:38 we see him dialing 911 because his wife keeps hitting him. She mutilates his face with a glass bottle when she sees him do this. This is why he's so narcissistic, he's trying to make himself look beautiful again in his reflection chamber because of the incident.

[@jednrrp]

As a 25 year old adult, I am just now realizing my lack of identity due to childhood neglect / fear based raising. I spent my whole childhood tiptoeing through life, trying not to upset my family, terrified of making a mistake or of them being drunk/high. I also felt the shock of fear whenever a parent decided to turn their attention towards me. You never learn who you are when you're busy taking care of other people that dont see you. Trying to dig myself out of that pit is a true struggle.

[@twingames8499]

If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives.

[@justsomerandomartist7503]

​@@twingames8499 I don't need God.

[@chey7691]

​@@justsomerandomartist7503 If all good things happen because of a "all-powerful, all-knowing" fictional character, all bad things are caused by the exact same one. Why make things more complicated and take away blame from the PEOPLE who need to be held accountable? For what some sense of unfounded self righteousness in the crutch of religious dogma? I hate the loud and pushy zealots as much as their own imaginary friend does according to their own book. They make everything about them through their religion, they push their ego into things no one asked for.

[@Mary-Ann_B_Mabaet]

"You never learn who you are when you're busy taking care of other people that don't see you." That hits hard. Had a single parent, workaholic mother. She would blame everyone for her problems, throw a tantrum if she didn't magically get what she wanted, had a habit on spending on items she would never use, even use me as her personal therapist since age 6. She gave birth to me because she wanted someone to help her get out of debt. She blamed my existence for her debt. She gave birth to me because she wanted a slave child to give her money, like a return investment. My coping was thru school and education, away from home. I loved Math and Science because it was logical and numbers don't lie. But no matter what, time moves forward and so do we. If you live alone now, go back to childhood ideas and figure out all the things you wanted to do. Remake that Bucket List. Try out something once a year, or more if you can afford it. Life is for Living. So, go live it. Live, Learn and Experience the World around you. Pick, choose, plan, one day at a time, one project at a time, your pace, you call the shots. As an adult, I think we deserve to continue nourishing our souls. Even if our parents didn't, we should want to not let down ourselves. Even if it's a small pizza on your day off. Every delicious moment of peace matters.

[@cianbroderick1900]

Kids need stability and love. All god gives them is distance

[@momoshikadora]

The final part with the song "It's alright" really gave me a sinking feeling to my stomach. I'm lucky I live in a sane household, but on an artistic level it really feels like a final thought from you and Claire, repeating to yourself that everything is fine, while the trauma, the demons of your life keep on screaming, or your inner self is the one screaming. Great choice in detail and execution on the ending. Keep up the good work!

[@theorist]

Glad someone noticed that :) It took me 3 minutes to draw that ending piece. I drew it as if I was a 5 year old just having fun. Happy that I was able to get that across with just music and visuals

[@it_will_be_ok.]

3k likes for 3 days, wow!

[@Skim_beeble7125]

Did you feel fear did you feel a real form a pain through it be that mental or physical did you feel ugly inside, unwanted, maybe like you belong no where maybe you wished you were somewhere else maybe you felt like you shouldn’t be on this plant I’m not trying to attack you I promise I just feel people shouldn’t claim to understand something just because of a video I’m happy you are trying to understand others hardships that’s good but from my perspective it’s invalidating for somebody to say they understand abuse because they watched a video on it and btw I’m not saying you haven’t been abused abuse can show itself in many forms however being abused by your family is very different from say your friends bullying you I guess all I’m saying is this is one of those things that you aren’t gonna understand truly unless you have been through or have been very close to somebody deeply affected by it and even hell I find myself questioning my past and my abuse every single night I guess if you wanna try to understand I can give you guys my side of abuse and how it’s been for me trying to work and be an adult in my later life I already partially explain what emotions you may feel but I’d like to tell you guys what my biggest struggle is and how it effects me every day I can not trust anybody and no it is not the same for you as me I know it’s not I have never told somebody about this and had them relate to everything other than one single person when I say I do not trust I mean I don’t trust your movements I don’t trust what your saying I’m constantly questioning and analyzing trying to figure if you intend to hurt me or others and it wouldn’t just be for you my friends get the same treatment I honestly don’t know how they stay my friends the amount of fights we’ve gotten into because I don’t feel like I can trust a single thing anybody says no matter how close we are I feel invisible to them even when I’m talking to them words can becoming out of my mouth they can be responding but I still do not trust them I do think they are actually there for more it’s difficult to put into words anyways I truly didn’t intend to make anybody feel bad I just wanted to maybe spread some awareness maybe someday I can be close enough and trust somebody enough to tell them what happened to tell them how I feel and to here what they think and feel and truly believe it id also like to say if you know somebody being abuse stay close to them they need you more than you think and a lot of the time in my experience people who have been abused are extremely loyal to those that show they will stick around and not hurt them Anyways cheers thanks for letting me talk I had a tough day so it was kinda nice to talk about this even if it wasn’t with anybody

[@tardounts]

@@it_will_be_ok. MAKE IT FOUR

[@thesaddestdude3575]

@@theorist What kind of neglect did you go through? I had a narcissistic parent who had issues with emotional lability, she would be all over the place. Depending on the time i talked with her im either the best son in the world or a disgrace to the human race. She wasn't narcissistic in the traditional sense, shes like the old lady in this video. She wants to be taken care of emotionally while emotionally abusing others from time to time.

[@Fluffy_the_Shark]

0:43 “This man” This…*Sniffs* Beautiful man…

[@Ilikebugsiguess]

Bill pfp spotted

[@mushmush4980]

The mother saying "Mama needs a little girl to hold up her hair" made me tear a bit. She constantly exposes Claire to her drug use and forces her to clean up her mess mentally and physically.

[@IhaytFukkingsocialmedia]

horrifying

[@yummytella]

wait what does she mean hold up her hair???

[@mushmush4980]

@@yummytella to hold her hair as she pukes so it won't get dirty

[@beelieboo]

@@yummytella it's to help her vomit

[@sawyerpaddock8626]

@@yummytella hold back her hair so that when she vomits from excessive alcohol intake, her hair won’t get dirty.

[@pessimist3835]

Just something I’d like to add on: a lot of times in neglectful households a child is force to be an adult a lot faster than they’re ready to. they have to make judgement based on what they think is best rather than the adult. You can see this with Clare/Opal and the grandfather when the grandfather says “don’t try to hide my cigarettes again.” And “it’s cruel to try to help someone that doesn’t need help.”

[@bovinejoannie9429]

Too true. Some times they are forced to grow up fast but not properly so by the time others catch up they are the "dysfunctional" and under developed ones

[@littlepizzabutt4246]

​@@bovinejoannie9429 a quote I've heard recently that has stuck with me is "over developed children create under developed adults"

[@andoriannationalist3738]

My neglectful mother would brag “he just raised himself!” Lol. No one else was doing it.

[@IhaytFukkingsocialmedia]

@@andoriannationalist3738 yep. I think we burn out early, it's a form of emotional burnout.

[@FuZioNFr3nZy]

@@IhaytFukkingsocialmediaserious trauma damages the brain. Child abuse is sick

[@yeetneet]

It makes me happy people still talk about Opal. This short means so much to me!

[@opalyxe1]

?

[@cleverr77]

@@opalyxe1 the kid with pig tails is opal/claire

[@kifour]

smae

[@Sakkaz]

@@opalyxe1 ohh, your username is Opal too ^^

[@DrHotelMario]

@@cleverr77 Yeah... the kid with the pigtails is Opal, not Claire ;_;

[@KynanForsberg]

I wrote an EP called mirror party, that, was my "conception" of the self after having an insomnia episode. What I didn't know at the time was that I grew up in a narcissistic household. I conceptualized that everyone is just a mirror for each other. I think now, I realize, I was just a mirror for my family. I don't know who I am without being a mirror for someone else.

[@gizmo-nz2yk]

I personally believe Claire developed Maladaptive Daydreaming as a way to cope. It’s a trauma response to multiple things Claire suffers from (neglect, boredom, abuse and more). As someone who has it myself for other reasons than Claire, I find the experience of the beginning and end quite relatable. When you latch onto something so hard you pretend you’re a part of it-you become Opal, not Claire, with a far better desired life, you’ll obviously feel better, even if for a few hours. But then when you realise you’re not, finding your hair isn’t pigtails and you’re just stuck in your room and head, pretending, it often feels like being doused in cold water. Whether you know it’s not real or think it is, it’s disappointing when you’ve been that deep in and get jostled back by and to reality. I couldn’t imagine being in this situation, though; it’s clearly just a constant cycle of coming back and going again.

[@Sh1garak1s_alt]

as a daydreamer myself, I to believe this theory, I do this everyday.

[@Killua_Zoldyck3407]

Yes this happens to me everyday especially when i look out the window...

[@TheNumber1RatedSalesman1997]

as a fellow maladaptive daydreamer- honestly can't tell if being aware of it or not is better- not that it matters ultimately personally, still heavily stuck in survival mode despite being free for almost 2 years now & i am only becoming aware of most of my coping mechanisms now; realizing the habit of avoiding reality was a heavy hitter random side note : i've never actually watched through this art before; so i'm still catching up to theories & ideas regarding it- it's already stressful getting halfway through it-

[@XxheymoonxX]

Wow! Growing up in abuse, I also maladaptive daydreamed constantly but didn’t realize why until now. It is like cold water. Also when your daydreams become so consistent i find it’s easy to develop intense anxiety surrounding the daydream world ( I.e anxiety around neglecting or abandoning the world, real emotional impacts caused by daydreams or the daydream ‘rules’).

[@retro_geometry6050]

if you take away the situation, it's kinda like trying to stop dissociating this way (maladaptive daydreaming is basically just a different flavor of dissociation) like, you dissociate for a long while you forget you remember you become stressed/bored/etc you do it again a cycle, in all it's agonizing glory claire is most definitely doing this, there's no way she isn't, really

[@bubbalawrence1]

The scariest part about growing up like this is when you have your own child and realize how hard it’s going to be to make sure you don’t pass down your trauma and how seeming easy it was for your loved ones to neglect you

[@jakespencer6781]

I'm on the curb on thinking my goal is to have a kid and strive for a healthy family, but *I know* I am not ready for this emotionally yet It pains me knowing my father set me down this path and still cannot admit anything

[@billykye]

⁠​⁠@@jakespencer6781My mother recently admitted to neglecting me, my dad was always at work. I don’t blame my parents because they lost two children before I was born (one a terrible tragedy and one a full term stillborn). They were not ready for me and I was passed along to anyone who would take me while they busied themselves with anything to take away their pain. I had children and vowed to be there for them, only working part time jobs when they were in school. I’m not a perfect parent and made some regrettable mistakes along the way, but they’ve grown into happy, functional and well adjusted adults. My boys tell me that I did a good job and that’s why they’re the way they are. They’re confident in themselves too 😂 Don’t be discouraged about having kids for fear of doing what your parents did. Yes kids are hard work at times but are also unique and amazing individuals You can break the cycle!

[@_b_e_a_n_s_]

That's why I refuse to have kids. I grew up being taught that discipline is insults and beatings, and while I know those things to be wrong, I have too much anger and too little patience. I would try my best if I had a kid, but trying isn't enough.

[@Cuntspiracy2.0]

I'd like to push back a bit on that, at least in my own experience, the most crushing thing is when you have your own child and realizing just how easy it is to NOT treat your child like that. If anything, you go through processing grief and anger, denial, all of it, all over again because you realize just how much you love your child and would do anything for their benefit including changing yourself if you have to.... and how your own parents didn't do it. It just makes that pain even more real, again. I grew up in not great circumstances, alcoholic father and emotionally checked out mother... I went through a lot I won't get into, but once I became an adult I went through the therapy and put in the work for myself and I met a great guy. He was so great, that he made me start thinking about what a family would look like. As terrified as I was to repeat anything I have ever gone through, I wanted a family and love so badly... I jumped. Got married, got pregnant, and the very second my child was placed in my arms I was reborn as well. I had a strength and fire I never knew, and with that came a reality I had never known.... and that hurt so badly. I waited all my life to have this and here it is, except I am the mother, not the child, the role I play is different... but my god is it amazing. I have healed in so many ways since her birth, and I have grown, and my lifes purpose now is to ensure that my child has everything I never had emotionally. I make sure I continue to put in the work on myself, to keep checking to make sure I'm doing better, to always be humble enough to know I can do better always.... and my child is so unbelievably loved and happy. She'll never know the life I had, and I did that, and I'm so very proud of myself and happy I have this life I always wanted. If there is anything I could tell you as someone that came out on the other side is, its totally 100% possible if you put in the work to heal yourself and you find a good, healthy, moral partner to do it with. Never be afraid. :)

[@elliescott6953]

​@@Cuntspiracy2.0 wow, well done, you're doing amazing! I needed to read that. Thank you ❤

[@COFFEEWSUGA]

As a victim of child neglect, Claire's terror when her family speaks to her reminds me of the many times when I'd hear my mom's car pulling into the driveway and be stricken with a deep, terrible fear. It reminds me of my sister, when she was younger, telling me that when she would watch tv and see happy families playing with their kids and wondering why that would never happen with her. It reminds me of the days I'd spend sticking my nose into manga and games to go somewhere else - *anywhere* else, to a different world where my problems didn't exist and where I could be a hero. There's so much more... These children are real, and it's tragic.

[@charmsly9506]

Damn, I hope things have gotten more cleared up for you now

[@COFFEEWSUGA]

@@charmsly9506 I'm in a better place now - struggling with the terrors of adulthood instead, lol

[@charmsly9506]

@@COFFEEWSUGA Thats good to hear that you're in a better place. This video and all these comments are so depressing man

[@xDanacon]

I can really relate to the terror of hearing a parents car pulling into the driveway. I’m sad that I’m not alone in knowing that feeling, but there’s also comfort in knowing someone understands. Wishing you all the best in life. Glad to read that you’re in a better place. I’m rooting for you.

[@Lorreine.222]

Reminds me of hearing the key hole and me and my siblings running to hide.

[@shatteredscry]

Terrifying that my maladaptive daydreaming was escaping from reality, and not enjoying it. I have a lot to think about

[@ZARDDRAM0N]

"You learn to step quiet to avoid the riot" Unfortunately such a spot on sentence for people who've grown up in these kinds of circumstances

[@kaiyote7924]

damn....

[@Reapers_daughter]

And also for people who in general get shunned down from their thoughts.

[@kiwami5604]

great video! i always interpreted the line “your troubles are miles away” as literal, i.e. claire’s troubles are literally miles away from the burger shop from the perspective of the billboard family also a neat detail is whenever claire is in the fantasy house her eyes are reflecting the lights from the billboard

[@theorist]

you are absolutely right! i forgot to mention that detail about the lights in the billboard. i wanted to talk about that but it must've slipped my mind during the script process. also the troubles are miles away is definitely about her problems being miles away. super cool detail! this short is so awesome :)

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

@@theorist This reccomended video just, feels personally targeted-abusive Narcissistic mother. wish wed talk here about accountability/mental illness next thats what im trying to crack how its a thing for certain ''ill'' people to be fine but others become jerks--its in part their own fault but to what extent and when? At what point is someone just a bad person/

[@Jesse.30]

Yeah

[@somethinganonymous1723]

I interpreted it as also being that her troubles might be isolation from people who could love and help her- the billboard hinting the distance from the burger joint in the corner would mean that she's always reminded of the distance between her and her image of an ideal life- her troubles are "Miles Away", the horrible little footnote that tells her how alone she is with the monsters she has to call family.

[@ShadowKitty7908]

The scene with the mom is so genuinely terrifying as she feels so real to how actual addicts behave. How she goes from calling Claire a “Good thing” to seemingly trying to hit her at the end. It’s just so brutal. Special Highlight to the line. “You and I don’t live Claire. We survive”. Feels like something an actual abuse addict would say.

[@maxpotiontcg]

She reminds me of my mom. 😅

[@StandAloneSoul]

Agreed, also I want to add that the line of 'you and I don't live Claire, we survive' for me personally shows/hints at how the mother is using her (maybe indirectly, passively, subliminally) to share her fate with her. My mother was abusive on a different kind of level, but what I realised after I broke contact with my family is how she always wanted to see me being involved/copying the same kind of feelings and states that she was in. It's a mixture of not being alone with it through having someone suffer a similar thing together with oneself, and also i think it works as sort of confirmation that one is not inherently wrong in how their life has turned out, because they somehow confuse the roles of parent and child to a point where 'If my child suffers the same kind of weakness than it is okay for me to portray that kind of weakness to them and need their help with it', also it doubles down as a justification as to why they where treated badly by their parents so they can stay in denial about why they are broken and troubled in the first place, they can tell themselves that 'this is just how things are' and their own unresolved trauma can more easily stay suppressed.

[@ShadowKitty7908]

@@StandAloneSoul I’m sorry you had to go through that ❤️

[@4xzx4]

As a victim of adverse childhood experiences and trauma, I can confirm that (my) life doesn't feel like a "living", it feels more of "surviving". I wanna live life but my traumatized brain only focuses on surviving...

[@jasminechan4705]

“We survive” possibly means “I survive. My life is so hard that I can’t live I have to survive so that’s why my actions are justified” and “you survive. So I’m doing my job as a parent” 🙁

[@mjw9821]

As a traumatized child myself, neglect was the least of my problems unfortunately, I grew up feeling like a victim. Now, I don't see it that way anymore. I am a survivor. My husband taught me how to love myself and realize that I don't need validation from anyone, I needed to validate myself. Letting go of the victim mentality was the most freeing feeling I ever had. It took years to finally understand it was not my fault. I hope that people who experience what I have, gain the strength to learn how to become a survivor, love themselves, and thrive. My family is basically four people. Me, my husband, our son and my husband's mom. She actually has a pretty big family but despite her having to raise her siblings she is still neglected and alienated by her family. I don't know why she doesn't give up on them like I did with mine. Giving up on them was the best decision I ever made. It's hard to feel disappointed when you don't expect anything from them. I'm not saying that I am no longer effected or don't have triggers, but that it's so much easier to deal with them when they arise. The water of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Make your own family. God bless you and anyone who reads this. I hope that you find peace and love.

[@susiekim5728]

have you asked her why she doesn’t? i’m curious to learn why she does. i’ve noticed older folks from past generations usually keep in contact with toxic family members rather than excommunicating them. it might be due to generational culture?

[@BitMan1010]

I relate a lot about the self validation part, and the rewards that comes with it since I was very insecure for most of my life. I was neglected after I wanted to leave and move with my father who was going abroad. Although he didn't physically hurt me like my mother that much he did abandon me in a place, language and culture I was unfamiliar with. I wouldn't say I have seperation disorder anymore now in my twenties but I do have a hard time connecting with people intimately, I experience emotional expressions from other people as acting or overreacting or stupid unless they mean something to me, but even then it annoys/humors me unless I relate to it. I'm probably a sociopath but a high functioning one that's able to pretend and actually sometimes feel guilt now and then, should probably seek help haha.

[@ahsjdjsx]

This is so upsetting. The fact that Claire is forced to live in a fantasy to escape her neglectful family is upsetting enough, but the way every member of her family only came to her for attention. Also, as YourEverydayTheorist said, Claire tiptoes around her house to avoid interacting with her family. I think many people can relate to this, which is why it hits so close to home. Claire’s situation is the reality of a lot of kids, and it’s awful.

[@Crystalw5523]

Can definitely relate to this. I grew up in a household (looking back now) where I was the family therapist for everyone. I think I was the scapegoat so it’s like you are put down and looked down on yet when people need something they come running to you expecting you to fix their problems/listen to them. You become the emotional dumping ground for everyone (except for my dad who was emotionally distant to everyone). I’m also a very emotional person so that’s probably why I ended up emotionally taking care of everyone. I didn’t even realize this was neglect or how unhealthy my family was until the last few years.

[@marlennegutierrez3250]

I found out that i was emotionally neglected and when he explained that she daydreamed about having a nice family when looking at the billboard i realized that’s what I’d do. I would just sit there and stare off a lot as a kid (still do) and just imagined myself hanging out with my mom or dad as a family and just overall being happy. I do have a loving boyfriend who has helped with my troubles. And i don’t do it as much, but the fact that my brain still wants to? Especially when I am under any stress is concerning.

[@april3698]

I think what's most accurate about Opal as a character is her reaction to the trauma she's experiencing as a young child. Her brain has gone through so much it's literally escaping into the single thing known to her outside her household, which is the advertisement. Her brain morphed her reality in order for her to be able to live through her trauma.

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

Its those burgers man --got crack in em... how the little girl got so chubby the crack isaffecting her metabolism. But, yeah. They represent hope i think why she imagines them as an escape.

[@Aika_v0calo1d]

Seeing the dads actual face just scares me so much. The way he thinks that he’s so much better than everyone else when in reality he just is so terrifying but he convinced himself he wasn’t. Gives me goosebumps… (idk if it’s just me but he looks like the chef from little nightmares😭)

[@Kai-rs9sv]

Remind me of my stepdad he think everyone loves him and he is such a great person but everyone runs to get away when he comes around literally dreading that he comes around its sad when u realize our parents are like this from they neglect and trauma but its a cycle literally

[@faye8236]

i think it’s more just him struggling to convince himself that he’s attractive because of the insecurities he has about his disfigurement, which is pretty realistic. it’s just something that happens when you delve that deep into self loathing, suddenly everything just becomes about you and how other people see you.

[@selalewow]

The mom's quick flashback looks like she did something to the father and dialed 911, so perhaps she threw someting at him and destroyed his face.

[@AdamK370]

oh god ur so right he DOES look like the chefs,,,

[@ReeRaRoo]

They all kinda look like the chefs tbh..aprt from clair

[@aiden5862]

14:25 Hey man, I for one am very grateful for the effort you put in ,making this video, at least. I think I recognize your voice. I, we, can relate. I"m sure. you are not alone.

[@Gerald-i2d]

opal / clair is not Alone, although it may seem lonely 💕

[@horsepowermultimedia]

Sometimes, dyfunctional families are made up of traumatized people who find themselves unable to keep a normal family structure due to their trauma. I do find that each adult in Claire's family are each trying to cope in a certain way due to something that happened in each of their lives in the past.

[@awsomegamer9217]

A disturbingly true reality.

[@dugsbunnyog3544]

The cycle that we all will try to break

[@androgynylunacy]

That is my family. My mom is a narcissist. She got molested by a family member. She never went to therapy for it. Roman catholics saw therapy as weakness, I think? My dad. His father was abusive and left the family when he was 8. He was a drug addict and has Bipolar disorder. My sister is dead of a drug overdose. I am always low-key suicidal. I have BPD and I am pretty sure that I have C-PTSD, but have only been diagnosed with BPD. I was the scapegoat. My mom said "go ahead" when I said I was going to kill myself. She made fun of my appearance. She talked about herself and didn't care about a word that I said. She still doesn't. She stole thousands of dollars from me. She screamed in my face when I was crying as a teenager. She was disgusted that I dated the same sex. But I was fed and overweight, which is still neglectful to let your child be unhealthy. And I was 10 and making food for my sister. All she does is lie. I'm in no contact. My mom hasn't learned since my sister died. She didn't even know my sister. I knew my sister. My sister was the only person in my family who cared about me emotionally. I'm 35 and still trying to accept the reality that my parents will never be loving and never care about anyone other than themselves. I'm afraid to be myself around people. My parents completely rejected me. I don't trust anyone.

[@melonjuice7441]

​@@androgynylunacyI hope your sister rests in peace and I truly hope you live in peace. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@jessebasham1938]

A telltale sign is they always talk about the "family curse," not realizing that's it just generational trauma.

[@CrumbledStudios]

I think it’s sickening how accurate this short is. It’s relatable in many ways and it scares me

[@twingames8499]

If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives.

[@astronaughty5366]

@@twingames8499 god can’t hold us, god can’t feed us, religion is a life-savor for some but isn’t a cure-all to life ailments. Have a blessed day

[@33Verst]

@@astronaughty5366 "We can't expect god to do all the work."

[@5ynthet1c]

@@twingames8499 God's a pretty lousy dad.

[@twingames8499]

@@5ynthet1c nah. Just seek him out you’ll see.

[@BlackDaffodils]

I also interpreted Claire's fear of the billboard lights as a fear of being in the spotlight. From my own experiences, my neglect affected me so much that when I did get any type of attention or recognition, i would experience extreme anxiety because i was not use to actually getting attention or validation from anyone. I had a full blown anxiety attack when my friend was complimenting my accomplishments in front of others that i screamed loudly at her to stop. - (Can you imagine how everyone looked at me...) To me, Claire's fear of the billboard lights is her underlying fear of actually receiving that type of attention she craves because she simply is not used to it. So she runs from it even though that is what she wants.

[@OtakuWrath]

I always had a fear that If anyone became aware of my life, they would take me away which for some reason I always thought that was a worse outcome than what I was going through so I'd hide away inside and avoid attention as much as possible.

[@MisstressMourtisha]

Panic attacks in paradise

[@felislupus2]

"If we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known."

[@kindashitatlife2021]

What you describe, is an anxious-avoidant attachment style in a person. Just becoming aware of Attachment theory, saved my life. Knowing how/why I feel unloveable and unworthy of love has given me so much hope emotionally. As a 30yr old man, I now understand that I do have a worth,, but it's above 0.00; I can build off of 0.01, and that comfort alone is so precious to me.

[@BlackDaffodils]

@Kindashitatlife wow, great insight. I'm turning 30 in a month, and I too JUST started to understand my worth and value. Little by little because I still get a small amount of anxiety. However, when it comes to love, I am slowly getting there.

[@Ranran_W]

i was also neglected as a child and it really made an impact in my life... the film is such a masterpiece but sadly relatable for me

[@tmi_irl1847]

Watching this, I just remembered how I was so anxious in going home when I was a kid, cause I had to wait for my dad to come home to see his current mental state. If he had a bad day, we had to be statues. Don’t catch his attention, don’t make a sound, couldn’t even laugh freely. Now, as an almost 22 year old, I realized it manifested in a lot of problems I currently have, and this video made me want to cry

[@Peanuts76]

Whoopsie, it just like my father, my father definitely that typical silent violence father who will punish you for every little triggers at his house, i remember we were hiding below the bed just avoid his outburst anger with my mom, and yet my mom, also with her own problems and neglect, only end up debating here, like a narc would do, both of them never care for their own beloved children, children are only disposable tool to make exucses of money and survival, my mom definitely have no skill navigating her adulthood, only end up putting agenda to me and my siblings, that every thing outside the house are bad, she's brainwashed me into ever believing people outside

[@Peanuts76]

Like those Narcissist who really afraid losing her supply, that's how my mom cope in adult hood, around 40 years moving into new city, and she never make anyfriends, racist, hate people, being negative and entitled, isolates me from any outside activity when I'm on my schooldays before, as a child i don't really understand this until it makes problem into me on my 30s..... Double mask, Narcissist are so good on this one

[@rrratproductions1857]

Same

[@bassgirl_denalia9087]

Dude, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can relate, only with my mom's ex-husband. They were married all throughout my middle school and high school years. I could feel my stomach turn every time I saw his truck come up the driveway, because of the exact reasons you described. Did he have a good day? Did one of his employees cause the family business a lot of grief or money? I would go to my room, put my headphones in, and not make myself known. That is so hard on a child, let alone a teen. :( I hope you get some relief and it was never your fault.

[@TLM3070]

Holy shit this made me have a near spiritual realization on why I am who I am. It's not my fault, it's not my mother's fault, it's not my brother's fault, it's my absolute dumpsterfire of a "father figure"s fault. Im 2000000000000% sure that it was a good idea to completely cut him off. To anyone who is going through the same who is reading this, just know that they will be judged one day, And God may not be so merciful on their behalf.

[@melynn_0355]

I hate that so many people still underestimate the severe impact emotional neglect can have on someone. Sure I've never been left to starve but my friends have become more family than my parents ever were... i fear leaving my room a majority of the time

[@placeholder846]

Hey I know you don't know who I am or anything but I just want to say stay strong. I can't really relate to your situation but I'm really hoping you can get away from all the toxic people in your life completely and safely.

[@javierlandaverde4108]

I feel like people should understand what Generational Pattern Parenting is. It will help understand why your parents are who they are. Same way this video emphasize on child neglect. Your same parents were neglected as child consequently affecting you. Be the first to make peace, understanding your parents, change that Generational Pattern.

[@123till321]

@@javierlandaverde4108 It's the parent's responsibility to work on their own issues until they are fit to raise a child. The child is not responsible for fixing a relationship the parent broke. The victim does not have to force those around them to change, and in many cases, they are not even capable of doing that because people won't change unless they want to. I am sick and tired of this "you can fix them" narrative, it only encourages people to stay in abusive situations. All of this is especially true when you consider we are talking about literal children.

[@gammegamme1578]

competely agree@@123till321

[@lunyxappocalypse7071]

@@123till321 I believe they were implying after a far bit of distance and time. I suppose it depends alot on individual cases whether they want to reunite.

[@zonyae29047]

That’s….very fucking disturbing. My ex is the epitome of this short, 100%. His mom tried to stab him and his dad earlier in his life. He also grew up literally fighting his older sibling. While we were together, his mother smashed the ps4 I gave him, and choked him out. I always tried to be the light at the end of the tunnel for him, but this short put into perspective how much anguish this man went, and still is, going through. As someone who has a neglectful, barely existing family (due to mental health, drug use, and other horrible issues) I grew up the child that was going to get my immediate family out the hood. I am the only child, and I’m still somewhat treated this way. It’s just that I don’t know how else to live at this point.

[@mauropereira187]

I hope he’s out of that situation

[@crockdog9838]

man i hope you both will be ok

[@bobtheball5384]

I wish you and him both the best. These experiences no one should ever have to go through with how much harm it does.

[@eskeline]

i do hope that both of you are good

[@remigal899]

Gosh I hope he’s okay and you as well.

[@lolcandy]

One detail I noticed watching this show on the second time was you can see the reflection of the four billboard lights on Opal’s eyes in the beginning sequence when she picks up the burger (14:00). This wouldn’t be something to note on the first time watching this.

[@SafeRouteDown]

My mom used to tell me "you're my person. You don't watch gray's anatomy, that's why you don't understand. You're *my* person" meaning that I was her closest confidant and friend. I never got to ask her if she ever thought about whether or not I wanted to be her person.

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

I can only assume she didn’t want to ask in case your answer was no

[@kiddosneakybeaky3934]

@@reeannabelle3572 When you’re a young kid?????

[@JD-fx9ly]

​@@reeannabelle3572 To an extent. If OP is asking that question imo, it's likely that this reliance has turned overdependent and toxic.

[@vidal9747]

@@reeannabelle3572 If you're an adult, yes. If you're a child you're not emotionally mature or stable to do so. It will negatively impact your development.

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

@@reeannabelle3572 it can be, if she’s also supporting you.

[@nicetomeetyou3461]

As someone who was severely abused in all ways except sexually and burdened with an adult level of responsibility and work at age six, no film has ever represented how I felt as well as Opal. Watching it triggered forgotten memories. It's a masterpiece.

[@Ruth-fx2fl]

Im sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re doing ok

[@alexanderbanman9288]

I experienced a lighter version of this, I was praised for being more mature than my age and acted as an ear for my parents troubles. I felt more mature than them, and still feel more mature than both of them, to this day. Children are not your friends folks, they're your responsibility. Stop burdening them with adult responsibilities. I'm sorry you experienced this. I hope you have gotten stronger through it and are working to create the kind of live you want to have. Bless up!

[@Veldazandtea]

I know people that have been through worse. Blood, pain and death included. Breakdown? Try a MELTdown. As bad as it was I NEEDED that. I had to suffer through the neglet and isolation to learn to find my own answers. It's made me stronger. I don't fear anything now. If we don't go through shit then we don't learn. Just make sure you make the effort to get noticed. If someone ghosts you it's their own weakness and inability. There's a reason I'll always stand my ground 100% of the time. Neglet is something I won't ever do. Any other thing, yea, but eye to eye. Sympathy isn't the point. The ideals of courage, honesty and accountability is. The cold hard truth is most people are cowards in denial living a lie. I actually know the stastistics for depression and suicide and know psychology. Well, no point worrying. Every point in trying.

[@jetstreamsad2458]

😂

[@Mika-dv9ul]

idc

[@turtle8231]

I love the realization when at first you think Opal (Claire) is scared when she's in the house because she isnt Claire and these are people she doesn't know only to realize it is her house and she is Claire but the abuse she went through has made her so scared of her own home like she's a stranger to it

[@theincrediblefella7984]

Omg wow,you explained literally the thing that happened in the video. Woah. Oh my gosh. What incredible insight. I'm sure It took much brain power to type all that. Stupendous.

[@bubblegum6753]

@@theincrediblefella7984 They literally just said about how they felt about the realization you get after watching it the first time and then watching it again. Why do you have to be so negative? Are you having a bad day or something?

[@theincrediblefella7984]

@@bubblegum6753 I detest when people are being obvious. It makes them look stupid and I happily point it out. Why are you complaining about it? Are you having a bad day or something?

[@turtle8231]

@@theincrediblefella7984 why are you so heated for no reason get a job or go outside or something

[@theincrediblefella7984]

@@turtle8231 what a weak minded retort. Calling out stupidity does not mean I lack a life. Wtf even is your comment lol

[@Angie-wt8pg]

I think her being called opal and everything is just her imagining what it would be like as a kid from another family and seeing how it's like or "supposed to be".

[@Elizadeath]

Opal staring at a photo of another family is a good way to portray the reason so many people are addicted to social media.

[@andrewn.caldwell6218]

That's such an accurate and amazing analogy.

[@everydayimshuffling7437]

bro that's so real 😨

[@CreatorLovesLegos]

Yeah

[@julievanhelvert6587]

Yeah but it’s not about social media 🧐

[@MisterJohnDoe]

Yep...

[@B3Dcool]

God, I started bawling my eyes out watching this. I’m part of the kids who were raised by KZbin because of child neglect, and recognizing KZbinrs as my own billboard hit me too hard.

[@NyxieMayn]

I can also say I’m one of those children…it was my only safe space and comfort. And also my only moral compass since my parents didn’t really teach me it in good ways

[@Johnathan777]

Same bro

[@cringememoriespersonified7402]

Same..

[@LaVidaesfria_]

I can relate. But my Escape was Going outside and coming back to watching youtube.

[@dustywagon298]

At least y’all had a platform and could see people going through the same situations or could interact thru comment sections with other ppl like you. My generation had to deal with it alone!

[@runswithbears3517]

Emotional neglect is so awful. I bet a lot of victims don't even realize they have been neglected until they crash later in life and are forced to search for answers. Art like this is strangely healing, in that it makes one empathize with the child. If you have not been shown enough empathy as a child, learning to empathize with your child self can open up all that unacknowledged grief.

[@mxrl_413]

Sometimes i just question the way in which I do things and why I do them that way, is it convenient? Am I hurting anyone? Ect your behaviour can tell you so much if you choose to look at it from a different perspective. For instance I grew up being admonished everytime I make a mistake in anything literally, and alot of the times belittled by my mother and other adults. Naturally I became more MIA and I fear others judgements of myself. ​@@adm69420

[@BunAiko]

this hit too hard

[@bongboi2831]

Serenity by godsmack is a little bit about this aswell

[@harper.la.vegano]

Totally me! I didn't know that I was neglected until I was in my late twenties. Now, I am 31 and am having to clean up the mess my parents made.

[@MorningTulips]

@@harper.la.vegano Me too

[@Ren-fp4sd]

I sat for a few minutes in silence as this kinda opened my eyes(once again) about my family and the neglect I've been through, thank you for this and i hope you're doing ok xx

[@kittypost3929]

I may be reading into it too much, but inside the house Claire has to do something for the adults in order for them to notice her. In her fake family, she dances in order to gain their praise and love. Even within her mind, Claire has to do a favor in order to be deserving of love.

[@ArnisKaye]

It makes sense. If you've never experienced healthy love and attention then it's very hard to imagine what that actually looks like. Even in her mind when she does something she wasn't supposed to (she looks at the house), the father pokes at her, the burger's pulled toward the mom, and she's sent to bed like a punishment. It's done in a "nice" way, but it's still an overblown reaction to something very minor. So there's still an abusive element to her imaginary family because that's what she knows. (For instance, the dad pokes and sings down at her which I saw as similar to her real dad "poking" fun and putting her down but not as cruelly. It's playful with an uncomfortable undertone.) If you're raised to believe that love and attention are transactions based on your performance for others, you don't stop believing that just because you're around healthy people or in your head. It's more that you think your performance, how you please others, will be positively rewarded instead of negatively or not at all. It's still an abusive mindset, but you don't have another frame of reference to go by. It also plays on a second level where her brain is trying to delay and protect her from the reality of what must be done as it gets dark outside The sweat dripping down the father's face is probably her own anxiety. The punishment because it was "bad" (fear inducing) to interrupt the fantasy with reality even briefly. What happens when we're "bad"? We get punished. Because your reality molds your mind and perception, you can't completely escape it even in fantasy.

[@ai8788]

@@ArnisKaye I just had an eye opening experience from my past and current coping ways

[@theworstwizard]

the way her face just completely crumbles when she accidentally steps on something and makes noise… i want to cry, that’s too real

[@goth_goat_dad]

My neglect was mostly just being set in front of a television and was never taught to do anything. In fact, it was encouraged that I do nothing but play video games or watch tv and stay quiet. Any emotion or any serious discussion was met with outbursts of anger and just complete narcissistic treatment. Imagine being in your 30's and having the gall to not only belittle your son, neglect him, and shame him for emotions, but to also talk shit to an 8 year old - consistently - as a fully grown man? Then mentally torture me to the point of multiple attempted suicides, major self harm issues, neglecting school work, dropping out of high school. I was given an ultimatum a month before my 18th birthday: drop out and get a better job, or move out when I turn 18. I ended up doing both. Moved out in 3 hours while my dad was at work. I was pretty much a man child from 18 to 25 before reality hit me and I started taking accountability for life and changing. It's never too late to heal your voice, my friends.

[@hootscooter1075]

I’ve left this comment up long enough. I will say that every thing in this world is as it should be, open for change that we must start. I’m pretty excited about what the future will bring like the plan for a base on the moon in the next 10-20 yrs is awesome I doubt but awesome I can totally see spaceX collaborating with nasa big when it comes to a moon base.🇺🇸🦅

[@feywynnightrunner9380]

@@hootscooter1075 No, the beating were never justified. They pushed you until you acted out, so they could feel justified in punishing you.

[@peachysailor]

This is all terribly relatable.

[@unionunicorn6776]

I unfortunately can relate. I moved out at 18 too. I know this pain. 💔

[@callummacleod1033]

I grew up in a very similar situation. I hope you’re doing better now.

[@ItsTheLittleThingsInLife1111]

I don’t know if I am well enough equipped to watch Opal, seeing as I’m sitter here bawling 8:25 . Hits wayyy to close to home.

[@absotivelypawsilutely]

Terribly relatable. I used to pretend that my parents were actually aliens out there somewhere and they'd come back for me one day. It's good to see things like this represented though because neglect is often overlooked, especially emotional neglect.

[@fuzzyrat1955]

It’s strange that there exist people who share some aspects of life so similar to yours. I used to pretend that teachers or coaches were my parents to be able to fall asleep at all as a child. There must be lifelong changes to a persons brain if they were emotion neglected during their development

[@kilIingword]

even for me at 4 years old i had an iron belief that my mother couldnt be my real mother. at the time i didnt know why i felt that way.

[@stasiacollins8285]

I am genuinely floored by your comment as well as the replies to it. I thought I was alone. I used to fantasize that my "real parents" were vampires and they can't come out in the day time.

[@Imani_Aaliyah__]

I used to pretend (and spend hours daydreaming) that my "parents" had stolen me from my actual birth parents when I was born and that instead, I actually belonged to a loving, wealthy middle class family that couldn't find me. I truly couldn't accept the fact (and still cant accept) that the people who are to be my parents, could have possibly actually had me. They're the worst people imaginable and if it were to come out that I had been taken as a baby it would explain so much.

[@peachysailor]

This is why I was obsessed with the American Girl Doll Samantha when I was a kid. A poor, neglected girl who gets adopted by kindhearted rich people. My childhood dream.

[@CCC9437]

I relate too much to this. As a child I was a maladaptive daydreamer. Constantly in my head wishing that my dreams were my reality.

[@ballslover-es9gw]

same lol but my mom and dad are great

[@denisesiddon7241]

Same but because my parents were critical and only family member who cared my nan died at 12 when also dealing with bullies.

[@hggpi]

Pov you try to do an empathy bait about having thoughts in your head

[@CCC9437]

@@hggpi TF does this mean

[@arcaakvira]

@@hggpi i relate to that but sadly in reality i know they will never come true nor will they realise let alone admit that they were in the wrong or i'm ruined because of them

[@katherinepeterson9525]

The maladaptive daydreaming never really goes away. I'm sorry for anyone who went through trauma, especially surrounding neglect, addiction, and narcissism. Tell me your story. I will listen.

[@maxpotiontcg]

My mom used to scream at me in her car filled with cigarette smoke about my “selective memory,” and how I never listened to her. And she wondered why.

[@katherinepeterson9525]

I'm sorry. @@maxpotiontcg

[@redmofia5317]

I remember when I was too depressed to get up from bed and go to school, my mum would refuse to give me food as punishment

[@_b_e_a_n_s_]

I remember my mother saying that I was using her and my father for their money and affection and manipulating them into getting me things because I wasn't obedient. Because I was a problem child and constantly messing up, I was ruining things and causing my parents to fight with one another, when I should have been a good child because I received toys, video games, clothes, and food. My relationship with my parents has always been transactional. My mom made it very clear that I owned nothing in my room, and anything that was "mine", including my own bed, could be taken if I messed up. I remember finding my favorite dolls in the trash after a fight. When I was 3 my father dismembered my stuffed animal because I threw it. When I was 14, after a fight, my mom ripped up one of my paintings, said it was garbage, and proceeded to take random articles of clothing from my closet; she even tried to rip the book I was reading out of my hands but I got on my stomach to try to stop her, she put all of her weight on top of me and I couldn't breathe. I'm 20 now and my relationship with my mom is "good" but only because I've convinced her it is. In reality, I'm just biding my time until I can erase her and my father from my life. NOW I'm using them for their money and affection. If either one of them are ill and need to be taken care of, the only thing I will do is put them in a nursing home

[@xxArsen1xx-OnPsn]

By time you're ready to tell it you're too fed up to explain ever again. I understand why Monks take vows of silence.

[@fueledbymaple]

I feel like it's a safe bet to say that "Opal" is Jack Stauber's Magnum Opus. The ending really hits like a rock the first time I watched it. I watched it a second time immediately after it was over, and I noticed something; in a darkly profound way, the short becomes a cycle. The first song that plays is the last song that plays, making it feel like Claire's constantly going through this loop of fantasizing, coming back to reality, then back into her fantasy. Struggling to maintain her peace and happiness as reality keeps rearing its ugly head to remind her. There's so many other details and layers involved with it, like I have watched it way too many times to count and I still pick up on something new. Excellent analysis.

[@NeidenHalffur]

I agree. And this short is a masterpiece.

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

Opal..Opus..

[@shrooms1184]

mhm! and the fact that she tries to treat her real life in the daydream as some sort of adventure is even more sad

[@Doodlecream]

This piece of art by jack strauber is held so dear to my heart. We often talk about child abuse and neglect but we never talk about how it feels through the perspective as a child. Confusing and horrifying and there’s NO way to make sense of things other then to escape in your own mind. When your guardians don’t have your best interest in mind, there’s nothing you can do. Nothing you can do.

[@twingames8499]

If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives. Looking back to the family in opal there are ways that the family could have been changed for the better by Christ. The blind grandfather would be thankful for his life and his daughter, who he would treat with the kindness of Christ. The narcissistic dad would be able to find comfort in Christ and realize that life isn’t all about how you look or how others think you look. And would instead follow Christ instead of himself. Even the addicted mother would be able to find comfort in Christ by venting her troubles to him and finding comfort and healing through Christ. Even the sprouts of the seeds of faith would do wonders for the family, let alone the tree that will come from the seeds. Let us all therefore follow Christ and see his greatness and glory.

[@coladoo5153]

@@twingames8499 yeah bro Jesus ain’t stopping shit

[@GalladeTheWarrior]

​@@coladoo5153 honestly the short was missing an evangelical adult who ignores opal/Claire constantly in favour of rambling about how "glorious" God is instead of just listening to her.

[@significantharassment]

@@twingames8499 That mentality leads to more kids being neglected by parents' misunderstandings of the religion they halfheartedly follow than it does to them getting the care they need.

[@summero-my5in]

Yes the lack of control is the worst part when you’re a child you can’t provide for yourself to make up for their neglect

[@phantom6315]

It was really heartbreaking to see poor Claire get neglected so horribly by her family that she's the main reason it stays together. She helps her grandpa with being his eyes, she listens to her mom venting, and she has to see her dad slowly falling apart because he's so self conscious about his appearance. It's sad to see her literally fantasize about having a wonderful family...it's awful that children have to be hurt this way, no matter the age or gender. It's so common and revolting. I noticed a few people writing their own experiences with abusive families in the comments, so here's mine. I was abused by my abusive mom(bc her mom/my grandma was an abuser as well to her, anyways) as a teenager, while my older sister was too scared to help me when I would get abused, since she thought she'd get abused too for standing up for me. My dad was always working and barely home until late at night while the abuse usually happened during late afternoon. She'd verbally, physically, and emotionally abused me a lot compared to my older sister, calling me fat/ugly/gross because of my depression and how it affected my hygiene/etc. She kept telling me that I was a horrible daughter and how she wanted to move out of the house because I caused her "too much stress" for "lashing out" at her, when in reality I was trying to defend myself from her actions and words. She also kept threatening me with returning me to the mental hospital because of the lashing out(I went there due to the abuse and threatened to hurt myself because she's the whole reason I have depression and anxiety), which that's literally not what a damn mental hospital is for. It's not a damn daycare, it's a place where people go to deal with mental illnesses, to recover from the worst of it, and to leave when they feel ready to. And even then, at the time, I had to be sent there by my school counselor, not my mom. So she didn't even make the decision for me in the first place. She'd need a legit reason to send me back there, but she didn't have any other ones besides not wanting to deal with me. Great analysis and great short film regardless, I enjoyed both.

[@chrissy9153]

It’s sad bc all a kid needs is love it’s so simple and when they don’t get it their whole world falls apart

[@theorist]

i didn't mention this because i forgot. that was one of the details that actually pulled me into analyzing this more LOL. glad someone pointed it out though so everyone else knows :)

[@SoMeTHinG-iw6oj]

a similar thing happened with my step mom, I was always the bad guy for defending myself and would only get yelled at more if i didn't say anything at all. Eventually she convinced my dad to revoke guardianship of me and I've never been happier even if i lost my family.

[@MeowMeow_95_]

Damn girl… das fucked up! 😮

[@hpcuthulu6249]

How are you doing now?

[@universal_wisdom3416]

The fact that this came from Adult Swim just confirms that it’s the best late night network since when I was a kid. I can also relate to walking quietly around the house, because I’d constantly get in verbal arguments about seemingly nothing with my parents. I’d call it walking on egg shells. Just to grab something out of the fridge when I’m hungry could’ve been an argument about me eating up all the food. My mother would be like a child in an adults body craving attention and a shoulder to lean on. And my father is really similar to the grandfather in this short, except more verbally abusive. I don’t like to claim I have trauma though, I dont think I’m worthy of that pity considering what others have been through.

[@allys744]

This is the creepiest and depressing yet well made, creative and beautifully made short film. It’s scary to think that so many kids go through stuff like this. I hope they all get the happy endings they deserve.

[@Howl-Runner]

Have you? I certainly haven't.

[@Redemptive_Neerdowell]

​@Jay Unfortunately, not many people will get a happy ending. I know I probably won't.

[@RoxyProd]

It’s a reality a lot of us are still healing from. I’m glad I found spirituality/therapy as my solution for my trauma.

[@englisch9150]

i js try to ignore my shi n say that its not that bad cs it could b worse

[@ilookcuteasf5491]

@@Redemptive_Neerdowell I think you you will.

[@kwithhh]

Man, the thing that got me was the mom using the daughter as a therapist. My own mom said that she wanted kids so they can rely on them. Such as caretaking, taking them anywhere they want and using us for money once we get successful. Sure, mothers need a break. But once you have kids, *you* are the ones that are supposed to take care of them. Not the other way around.

[@nyxcole9879]

Yeah, I was my dad's therapist, I felt that too

[@ratty5]

My mom said the same thing growing up. Now as an adult, I’ve cut ties with my narcissistic and abusive family. I’m not taking care of people who’ve hurt me for so many years.

[@TT-xz5sy]

I feel you, I was my father’s therapist. He always spoke about his upbringing and how it impacted him. Never asked me about myself.

[@TiffyAlwaysBlissy]

I was my moms therapist while I cannot remember one “real” conversation my father and I had in childhood. I can remember him telling me one of my purposes in life was to take care of them when they were old. So much of this video resonates with me…. I’m still living in a sea of anxiety. I’ve cut both of them off now…. really my entire family has been cut off. And I’m still trying to figure out how to survive.

[@Tobithemfemperor]

my parents suddenly started seeing me now as an adult. but i can’t help remembering everything from my childhood and how much that kid needed them. im all grown now but i feel so behind emotionally. thank you for this video

[@ChristianThomasLeitel]

Relatable

[@Tayvezn]

I think its because the parents know they will get old and no one will take care of them except their children and no one will spend money on them, so they try and act like they care about their children when they are adults, well at least in my fathers case after years of neglect, emotional/verbal and mental abuse he decides to lie and gaslight me about the past because im an adult and i have a future ahead of me.

[@anngee2189]

Literally! I feel you, you're not alone. Sending you love

[@Ave_Satana666]

Girl in the comments made me realize why I have a straight humiliation fetish

[@eatingsushi3408]

Yeah bro when I got the fuck out of there at 18 and went no contact, suddenly they wanna talk to me. Like what?? You never gave a shit for 18 years and now you want to? So confusing. Could they have done it all along? Is that a trap to get me back? This fucks me up

[@lara_rigs]

I love how the fact that the dad was always like looking at him at the mirror for perfection, because of some trauma hes been through like the mom beating him, and you can see a hand on the phone in the moms imagination calling 911 it can shows about a abusive wife beating her husband.

[@artimiss1238]

Opal's panic going through her house really hit home for me. I remember dreading getting off the bus from school because i was never sure if i would walk into a warzone and end up stuck with the consequences. Most days i would pray no one even noticed me come home.

[@l.5462]

Same is what it is tho can't cry about it

[@DavidVerantes]

Aw :( are you ok now?

[@l.5462]

@@DavidVerantes yeah bro trauma just builds stronger people tbh if it wasn't for Andrew Tate I don't think I would be here right now

[@DavidVerantes]

@@l.5462 nevermind- Andrew tate *sucks*

[@TheIssieBean]

@@l.5462 Saying this from a place of care, I hope you find a better hero than Tate. His style of self help is largely destructive, and often makes people worse wrt self esteem and empathy. There are whole videos on this of course, Pinely has a good one, as does user Shaun. I'm glad you're here, and found something that helped, but he and his community are really toxic and harmful, to you and the perception of the world he creates. He does not live a reality, and he wants others to buy in because THAT is how he gets paid. There are so many great role models out there though! People who inspire us... the best are the ones who inspire kindness, as genuinely, that helps the outlook on life so much. It's a tangible thing, though.

[@Phoebe5448]

Wow, this hits home. I'm an only child who grew up with my single mother who was an alcoholic. I was always a naturally shy, obedient child who also had anxiety most likely. I had a lot of emotional abuse and neglect. This sums it up completely.

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

It makes me wonder- why and how do these people keep having kids, and mess up in the same ways too

[@snakeorino6228]

Seeing Claire daydream about a different family hit really close to my heart. When I was little I would watch Annie and pray that one day I would be saved like she had been

[@AroundTheBlockAgain]

Oof, dreaming of being an orphan and finding a new place to live... I had that, too. Additionally, all my favorite books were about kids who survived some sort of calamity and suddenly had to survive on their own, outside of civilization and society. And I had absolutely no further thoughts on this pattern at the time.

[@analias1983]

this brought back memories omg...

[@Vincentbozo]

As someone who’s been through a very similar type of trauma, words can’t describe how comforting “we see you” is. To me it means that someone SEES you and your needs, sorrows, and opinions as a person. It makes me feel loved and fills the void left by the absence of comfort when you witness violence. This feeling brought me a odd sense of comfort when it was sang, like a small desire deep down to have that normal life

[@thisman6205]

The walking on toes so no one hears you, locking yourself in your room, and not knowing what's about to go down is very relatable for me. The drugs, them blaming their problems on me... I've gone days without eating simply because I refuse to go downstairs, well, until they leave. And I've become a very agreeable person. All the yelling and screaming, molded me into what I am today. I really dislike conflict. My brother is like them now.

[@nosephhh1570]

That hits home. My brothers are like them now as well. Totally different people than who i grew up with.

[@syca5094]

I did that alot with my dad. I'd refuse to eat and go down to the kitchen because he was there. Not because he'd do anything to me, but because I hated the gut wrenching feeling I got when I was around him. He did so much to me to the point where even though he "changed", JUST being around him was too fucking much. I'd do anything to avoid him if it meant I could avoid the memories he gave me.

[@BubbleArcadia]

This is exactly what happened to me and my brothers and sisters

[@pokaay3163]

"my brother is like them now" is a tragic line to read. That is how it goes a lot of the time, unfortunately. People become a product of their environment. I hope you are doing better now, or if not that you get to a better place soon.

[@funilyily]

I like your profile pic 😂

[@liamatte]

As a person who has experienced emotional (and on rare cases physical) neglect and abuse, there was just....way too much with this that hit close to home. What's even more terrifying than living this reality is when you try to reach out for help, but everyone bats your hand away. When you try to call out, but no one listens. When you try to leave your reality for good but it holds onto you. Shit hurts man. Stay strong brothers and sisters it gets better.

[@blankness8]

@Jane Cochran Yes. I absolutely despise how this sentiment is parroted everywhere. To anyone who needs to hear it: Life does not end after childhood. A terrible childhood does not guarantee a terrible adulthood. Life doesn't "go downhill after high school". Being an adult doesn't suck. It will be difficult, yes, but it will be freeing and rewarding. Your life is not over once you grow up. Grow up, grow old, and enjoy every moment. You have your whole life ahead of you.

[@morbidlyobesecat7829]

My parents are ok, they dont hit me but they never leave me some free time even if im 15 and im already working 8 hours a day in a factory, and when i Say im tired they Say "You cant be tired your only 15"

[@BuIIette]

That, and what's more, even when you receive an offer of help from someone, it can be so hard to believe that you might even bat their hand away and just continue drowning yourself in the pit you're stuck in. I know I've done that my fair share with people who truly meant the best for me and I kick myself for it now.

[@jameshersom2536]

How did you get out?

[@liamatte]

@@jameshersom2536 got into college. It was really my only out. I still stay with my mom on the breaks, but at this point she knows that if she's shitty to me that I'll leave forever. I'm finding space to heal and I'm working on my problems one small step at a time.

[@PotatoQueen_]

I wonder if Jack Stauber was neglected as a child...because this is scary accurate on how it might feel as a neglected child.

[@Fancy-Arts_Crafts]

won't be surprised telling your trauma in an art project is not new however jack pull it in a creative way

[@NeidenHalffur]

I have seen her mom on Instagram, she has photos of her children and stuff. She seems very loving with her family. Haven't found his dad though. No idea if those images of a happy family are a lie, or if Jack is just the best psychologist ever. Or if Jack had a friend in that situation, that makes sense too. (Also, I know about his mom because I was reading his wikia, and I saw the @ of his sister, and finding his mom was easy when scrolling through his sister's photos and Instagram literally telling me Jack's sister followed her)

[@helpmegetto1k4channelnotab78]

I relate to his artstyle--i get that snese too-the misery in his art the mental instability he portrays in it i like 'hotline'

[@ericmurray5441]

The information is in psychology.

[@shatteredscry]

​@@NeidenHalffur Fact of the matter is some toxic families 'seem' happy and put together. However, I agree that Jack may have a lot of introspect if he has empathy for neglected kids. It's just...insane how accurate it is. How does this guy know about outdoors maladaptive daydreaming to escape traumatic households? The 'woe is me' reverse psychology of parental figures? Either insanely genius or depressingly relatable.

[@alexKat-n7f]

14:05 to add to this u can see 4 lights in her eyes while the imaginary family has 1 and during alot of this scene 4 lights are above them constantly

[@jaaltheangel1952]

Also the scene where they cheered her on is the exact same as the picture of the billboard

[@huhh000forgot]

jack stuaber is an astonishing artist who captured the deep phycological effect behind child neglect. and as a person with an abusive father i find this important representation. i am very glad this youtuber chose to cover this topic. makes me feel less alone and distant to know other people understand me. i wish all kids could find a safe and healthy environment.

[@spazmaticfanatic6235]

This was my childhood. My safe haven was a desk with Legos in the drawer. I would sit for hours away from my family at that desk. One day my mom threw my desk across the room and it shattered my world. I lost my temper for the first time and it started a series of events that led to my dad taking my sisters and me away from that house. We never got help though. I relate to this so much, especially the tip toeing.. my coping mechanism is forgetting and numbing my emotions. I become cold and emotionally dead as I've been told

[@miserablepumpkin9453]

I hope you get help eventually.

[@nate9948]

I cope the same way, I feel for you my man

[@Kit42069]

im a hardcore horror enthusiast so I don't normally get spooked very easily but I can honestly say that Opal is the scariest things I've seen in a long time. the combination of the eerie claymation mixed with very real trauma had my anxiety reeling. jack stabber really is incredible

[@OVERLORDCLOWN]

I agree Jack staubers way of making stories really hits you hard. I used to watch his videos when I was younger. Now I'm much older and am scared of watching those stories and understanding what I never understood.

[@fruitypanpie]

Jack Stabber is what i’m gonna call his horror stuff from now on lmfao

[@jacksonwilliams9985]

I was high on LSD watching this I turned it off

[@crazybraylon9087]

This video genuinely changed my life. I’m still a teenager and I realize how bless I am to grow up with 2 loving parents, this really is amazing.

[@gamer_rederson5919]

That whole explanation of the mother using the daughter as a therapist basically caught my attention the most. My mom smokes, drinks, and has verbally and emotionally abused me ever since she divorced almost 10 years ago. I’m 15 now and I have to take care of her as she threatens me, my brother, even my pets as she also abuses them. I fantasize living with the people that make me happy and enjoy life, realizing I’m stuck at “home” where I’m constantly scared of my own mother. I feel like I shouldn’t have written this- I've read every single comment from everyone of you and I just wanted to say thank you so much, everything you all say has helped me a lot mentally, I have huge plans when I turn 18 that are a bit risky like moving to another state to live with my friends, we can't choose our biological family but you can find your true, and I have. They do know everything and they've had ideas to help but they're going through a lot. I just started sophomore year and I can't wait until I can finally leave. Thank you guys all so much for telling your own stories, understanding my situation, and telling me all your great tips to keep going. I'll always remember all your kind words guys

[@GustavoPizza]

You, my lad have to call the police.

[@gamer_rederson5919]

I get told that a lot but there isn’t much to do when there isn’t evidence

[@Who_evenamIanymore]

You might not realize it now but a lot more people would be willing to listen to a 15 year old girl than an alcoholic mother if you speak up.

[@gamer_rederson5919]

My therapist tried CPS but they didn’t care, they say CPS will only come if the child has no home, no food, or if there’s physical injuries Thank you both though for caring and speaking up to me about it

[@Who_evenamIanymore]

@@gamer_rederson5919 Damn i knew CPS was fucked but i didn’t know it was that bad, either way i really hope you, your brother and your pets get help soon.

[@autisticaxolotlponies]

As someone who has the complete opposite, overbearing emotionally manipulative mother, narcissistic grandmother, and a short fuse father, Opal's fear of her grandfather, her mother, her father all deeply resonate with me. I feel her immense pain and fear despite our opposite situations.

[@jaxonplaysgames552]

its the father that's a narcissist. and the grandFATHER who has a short fuse

[@autisticaxolotlponies]

I'm talking about my own experience, cant you read?????? @@jaxonplaysgames552

[@IsaacHND]

@@jaxonplaysgames552 did you not see "As someone who has the complete opposite" bro 😭😭

[@jaxonplaysgames552]

@@IsaacHND i think they might have edited i dont know i cant remember but at the time of posting that reply I read 'grandmother' when she was referring to opal's grandfather. my brain often mixes things up, so its also possible I just read the comment wrong!

[@IHAVENOGENDERONLYRAGE]

My parents somehow manage to be overbearing and neglectful at the same time. They'd neglect my feelings and need, but make me abide by their rules. Time alone is prescious.

[@noobio2129]

When the bedroom door brings you more joy than your family you know shits bad

[@brynnarosenberg9361]

Too real

[@BrandonScott-mi5pz]

EXCELLENT WORK. YOUR EVERY DAY THEORIST DISTURBING CHILD NEGLECT

[@pokemonhothie1389]

I spent most of my childhood and adolescence in my bedroom because it was usually the only safe place I had. I still get nightmares of someone trying to get into my room and whenever someone is at the front door I immediately go into fight or flight. I have agoraphobia now and will not go outside unless I absolutely have to.

[@dancingnature]

I had agoraphobia for decades because I was punished for doing normal things . Violent misogynistic father and a narcissistic mother .

[@nj7969]

⁠@@dancingnature This. I remember being punished for the dumbest things. When I was a kid, I nearly got grounded when the Xbox we had gave out just cause it was old. Whenever I got a bad grade, I got punished. Well that didn’t make me perform any better, just made me better at hiding them. I was always burnt out because on top of school, they had me doing Baseball, scouts, karate, piano lessons, and guitar lessons. And when I couldn’t take it anymore and said I needed to drop karate or baseball so I had more time to myself, I was scolded and told “fine, if you want to drop one of those, you’re picking something to replace it.” So that just taught me the only way for my parents to accept me is for me to keep myself so busy that I’m constantly burnt out. And even when I did that, it didn’t help because my performance would be terrible after a month or two of going all out. Which led to more scolding or backhanded comments. And now that I’m grown they wonder why I never have time for them. My dad tried, but you don’t win against my mom. You just do a little better each time. And she’s never said it out loud, but it’s very clear that she would have preferred I been a girl. Edit: that was weird, I’m sorry. Did not mean to just dump my purse out like that on someone I don’t know😅😂

[@Mister_Mr_Man]

You need a license to drive a car but just anybody can become a parent

[@seangrif11]

This was heartbreaking. Thanks for filling in gaps I missed in the original. Loneliness is a powerful force and it doesn't require the absence of others.