The Enneagram Type 3

[@lovewho]

Feel free to join our Discord server! - discord.gg/jgvxCjs

[@sirius6503]

Please remove that phone verification stuff :(

[@elainekan4209]

I'm 30 seconds deep and I already wanna cry for being called out

[@lovewho]

That's the thing about the enneagram, since it focussed on the fears of each type it always feels too real! ~ Nathan

[@daughterofgorgias7235]

"It's like they're waiting for that person to see something they won't like" 👏👏👏👏👏👏 very true

[@elainekan4209]

this is why I've never been in a relationship and I'm too scared to LOL

[@lovewho]

It's a weird thought but it seems to be a 3 trait in my understanding and experience as a type three myself! ~ Nathan

[@daughterofgorgias7235]

@@lovewho yeah I think it is a type 3 thing too. I believe the reason for this is that 3's want to have the perfect image no matter who they meet but also know that they can't be perfect for everyone. Perfection is very fragile and 3's feel pressure to maintain it. They think they will make a mistake and the person won't like it and that would break their perfect image. I think the second reason of it is that 3's explain themselves with what they have done rather than what they are like so they kinda hide their true self and may feel like people won't like their true persona. They are actually waiting for that person to see something from their true self and not like it.

[@jihyostanxoxo]

you're always very concise and to the point yet hitting the nail on the head. awesome!!

[@lovewho]

Thank you very much! ~ Nathan

[@Th3_34gl3]

This hits the nail on the head.

[@lovewho]

Glad to hear it! ~ Nathan

[@suzannesuzysoares2810]

A perfect description of the enneagram type 3!! Well done! 3s are extremely image oriented due to the fact that they are in the emotion triad and have a primal need for attention. Identity is important to 3s. So they are master performers and love to project an image of success, they also enjoy seeing their friends succeed. They are highly competitive! It’s important to give them flexibility while reminding them of the parameters because they tend to neglect details, quality to some extend and the long term. They absolutely need to be rewarded and praised, and receive tangible proof of their achievements (metrics, awards, new opportunities). They are also extremely high energy! [Whispers] please do the type 6 next.....

[@lovewho]

I haven't actually looked into the type 6 too much but I certainly will soon! ~ Nathan

[@carinalage]

I had a very hard time to recognize me as a type 3, because of the description as a superficial personality. I managed to convince myself that I was a type 5, and I fitted very well in the social variant. I never saw myself as a deciever, nor as a vain or inauthentic person. Then I came to realize that I was vain about my intelligence, knowledge and professional performance. And the deceit was of my own feelings - it was hard to get in touch with them, and much more to express or communicate them to others. But it was a deception so incredibly well-built that not even myself noted. Another important aspect is that the self-preservation 3 (my dominant variant) may go against the classical 3 image, being sloppy about clothes or appearance. It's the countertype. I hope it may help anyone. Sorry about any mistakes, since english is not my native language. And thanks, again, Nathan. Great (unintended) birthday gift. ❤

[@lovewho]

I imagine that there are many people who believe themselves to be type 5's instead of type 3's, most people consider me to be a type 5 whereas type 3 clearly fits me much better. I agree that vanity is definitely a big risk, it's so useful to be aware of these things so we can (hopefully) avoid them ~ Nathan

[@user-qb3uy5cg1u]

I'm on the same page. What's your MBTI Type?

[@carinalage]

@@user-qb3uy5cg1u INTP, I think so. First I made some tests, and then I started to study the other types, INTP is the one with most ressonance. But i must admit that MBTI for me is way harder than understanding the types in ennagram.

[@dinoasmr1514]

I'm an INTJ 3w4, and I think one of the common signs you'll find in us 3w4s is our habit to look at the day, week, month or year and measure it according to what we've achieved. The year 2023 is ending in a few days and all I can think about is all the accomplishments I've achieved this year and the achievements I'm targetting next year.

[@jamesbibarnes]

this video makes it so much easier to understand whether I'm a type 3 or not, Thank you!

[@nalynnsansaneeyawet3136]

Imagine how much social pressure I put on myself as an ENFJ and type 3 😰

[@lovewho]

That's an intense combo indeed! ~ Nathan

[@zakrzhevska]

oh, good to see another enfj with enneagram 3!

[@4ev3rmore]

I know a girl who’s definitely ENFJ and I think 3w2... what would you say are some giveaways of that combo?

[@fatemeh5984]

i don't have to. i'm the same. and you know, damn.

[@pinkflamingo1292]

Same

[@littleredbird]

I'm a 4w3, and this is spot on!!

[@z9n08dfyv]

such a great idea you doing enneagram videos, hope there is a 7 one in the future

[@lovewho]

I will definitely get through all of them eventually ~ Nathan

[@khanyisotheophilustshali8773]

Thank you Nathan, for such clarity. This explains all the reasons why social norms and conventions aren't really in line with Enneargram 3's. Can you please specify the difference between enneargram 3 and 5. How can an enneargram 3 win in work environments that aren't so well invested in quality and Standardization within it's industry? More especially when the environment can give the individual alot of open fruits to invest on for a well groomed niche that could transform industries at large?

[@lovewho]

Funnily enough I was just talking about this a few comments up ^ check out the comment from CosmicDeath I replied to! ~ Nathan

[@jennifergrove2368]

It's so weird to have a 3w4 in your life that is also an ENFP.

[@endgamez7621]

istp 3w4 here...

[@Kennyhayes]

That's me. ENFP 3w4 😁

[@andreaf8404]

literally me!!! weird combo, but i love it

[@nora_8080]

So accurate. Also we don't handle any kind of physical or mental illness well. Because we can't function like we should, the self esteem goes waaaay down. Deep hole to get out of.

[@hottea9826]

the worst day of my life was when i realised that it didnt mattered if i got grades or not nothing would change no matter what i did, i literally went from golden prodigy student with behaviour misconduct to fucking feral depressed street cat and i felt like i lost my sense of being

[@CosmicDeath]

Haha! "...they see people as human doings instead of human beings." Excellent. This is interesting, I'm fairly sure I'm a 5w4, but I see a lot of similarities in the values and appreciations that 3s apparently hold with regards to people (including themselves). Being competent is really important to me, as is having well developed skills in things that take a lot of time and hard work to achieve. I find it very impressive when anyone puts in the effort to be able to do something well. Where those values begin to diverge is probably in the importance placed on how it appears to others. I find it interesting that developed and proven abilities, awards, or achieved metrics provide 3s with a "face" with which they interact with the world. I wonder what that would look like for a 5? Possibly just... not.. having a "face" (?), since 5s are typically pretty withdrawn? Haha. I also found it rather touching that 3s would be concerned that their authentic selves might somehow be seen to be lacking or “disappointingly human”. As a 5, I’m drawn to this like a moth to a flame - if someone is highly competent and places a lot of value on being perceived this way, then their hidden inner workings are that much more attractive, and it feels like an honor or privilege to be granted access to that less comfortable space within them because it is real, raw, and takes trust to reveal. Personally, I find 3s motivating (based on competitiveness and a desire to match or exceed their expectations and values of competency), fascinating (based on the combination of external strength and hidden/elusive inner worlds), and exclusive (based on their high standards for others). TL;DR: "3's for me's!"

[@Sharkuterie327]

I’ma go out on a limb here and posit that one difference between 3 and 5 might be that 3 is “achiever” focused while 5 tends to be “problem solver” focused, which can appear to overlap because of their interest in external measurement. While 3 uses data to confirm and align their efforts towards a goal, 5 uses data to test and refine their understanding of a problem they can solve. In a way, 5 and 3 complement one another to build productive systems. Maybe. Shooting from the hip here. 😆

[@CosmicDeath]

@@Sharkuterie327 I could see this, yes! Great reply!

[@REBsessions]

Although this was entirely pleasant to read: "if someone is highly competent and places a lot of value on being perceived this way, then their hidden inner workings are that much more attractive, and it feels like an honor or privilege to be granted access to that less comfortable space within them because it is real, raw, and takes trust to reveal " ...was a beautiful point that I completely agree with!

[@CosmicDeath]

@@REBsessions Awe, thanks Rebbie!

[@daughterofgorgias7235]

I wish my 5 partner would think the same :|

[@Harrison244]

It took me a really long time to realize people like people for who they are not their achievements

[@920-s3r]

I don't have anything to say but here's a comment for the algorithm:)

[@lovewho]

You're my favourite kind of commenter... ~ Nathan

[@Punchy919]

Very insightful video! At least this helps to understand 3s better. From what I've seen they're one of the least liked enneagram types, which is sad since, as you said at the end, we all seek acceptance. Could you add an analysis of type 5 to your list?

[@lovewho]

Will do! ~ Nathan

[@Tiogar60]

Damn, im an ENTJ 3w4 and i realised this was how i acted and felt. Always thought i was just a little strange for not caring about the same things as others

[@jzixjndmxox9]

Sounds like my ESTJ grandma. lol

[@beyondthescenes7430]

Oh loved thisss, can you do one for a type 2

[@lovewho]

I will get through all of the type eventually! ~ Nathan

[@Sharkuterie327]

Also, it’s funny that a video about success-driven type 3 is not getting a huge amount of views compared to the video ranking “mbti types most likely to be millionaires.” 🤔😅

[@lovewho]

The irony is certainly not lost on me ~ Nathan

[@successfularabsl6225]

هذا

[@jessicaT12345]

Ouch! lol. This is was really accurate description. Hahah.

[@obscurellepriscillatopin7506]

Accomplishments with flair 🔥☑️ - works until it doesn't! 🥇🥈🥉❤️💎

[@Rouen_HK]

As a 693, i feel like people will never accept me as a person, thus i prefer to make them happy by my action, it kinda hurts tbh :') bu i can live with that

[@magicmonkey7075]

Hehehehe 69

[@stevedavenport1202]

3s are the ultimate yuppies.

[@BobVisMo]

Damn… I always ignored enneagram before this -intj type 3

[@destinabilge3525]

hahahaha human doing part is hilarious

[@nanamikado999]

I love these videos

[@bluerayblair522]

Can’t wait for 5🤍

[@malindaeckert2300]

Same! My boo is a 5, and my daughter is a 7. Im so pumped he's doing the enneagram as well as the mbti cognitive functions. 😁

[@malindaeckert2300]

I wonder if the externalizing identity thing is bc of having a low introverted identity function.. so Ti or Fi 4th. Their auxiliary identity function might be compensating with their savior/hero extroverted function. Like for the ExTJ, (which the 3 sounds an awful lot like) maybe is protecting their baby Fi with their strong and impressive Te, "look at my big fat Te competency, dont ask me if I Fi like something" 😅 The judging by skillset, can confirm.. competency is such a sticking point and so hard not to gut reaction judge someone straight off the bat. Right now im in the conscious-incompetent/sometimes competent stage of changing that juvenile behavior.

[@moslyjeb3090]

People always tell me that I always in rush, to slow down. But I just… find it so hard to do so… even I know that it is necessary in a long run_

[@choxomoxxo565]

That got a little personal (humerous)

[@pgmystergaming2564]

when are you gonna do the rest of those functions videos that you started Ni with

[@lovewho]

Ahhh good point, I have a lot of series on the go that need to be continued, I will definitely revisit this soon! ~ Nathan

[@intjill]

I can’t seem to pin down my enneagram type. There are too many that I can relate to at any given time.

[@CuddleClaw.]

enneagramtritypetest.com Also listen to “do it for the gram” on youtube and Dr Tom LaHue is also a good source, and The Enneagram Institute. I usually scored high in like 5 or 6 types when I took the tests, and so I watched videos on each type and narrowed it down until I was sure. The tritype test I felt was accurate. I took my time with it.

[@intjill]

@@CuddleClaw. I’ve actually done that particular questionnaire multiple times, and every time I get a different result.

[@mememo3764]

In future videos, mention which mbti types would likely identify as the enneagram.

[@uaeuchmu]

Me being Type 3 and ENTJ...

[@uaeuchmu]

@Hinemoa ..who is Azula?

[@OnlyBobGreen]

What would the mix of an 3w4 and 8w7 look like?

[@juliad7748]

ENFP 3w4 HEY YALLLLL

[@andreaf8404]

heyy type twin

[@ammarkhalil34v]

imagine an ENTJ 3w4

[@naturalinstinct4950]

hope you do a type 8 someday

[@lovewho]

I definitely will! ~ Nathan

[@Hs-ov5wu]

When

[@charityjohnson6202]

As an ENTJ 3w4 I feel seen.

[@saagarsikka694]

Anyone else being infj type 3?

[@neou.p3617]

auur nauur... i feel so attacked rn

[@cdenese108]

I'm late to this party, but gotta say--lovin the hair!

[@The_Everythingman]

Can you do type 5s or type 8s?

[@lovewho]

I'll be doing both eventually! ~ Nathan

[@HexingHobbit]

Are you going to do more enneagram types?

[@REBsessions]

Hm... I wonder why this sounds so familiar.......

[@lovewho]

Beats me... ~ Nathan

[@birhb6372]

Great video, type 9 when

[@guymatan7778]

Which MBTI type do you think the most correlated with this enneagram??

[@enki012]

3 is a very varied enneagram, but mostly cognitive extroverts. Intuition is fairly common too, but there are plenty of sensor 3s.

[@twentyfirstcenturygothic]

when are you doing your next enneagram video?

[@mrs.morgan3606]

I feel seen. 😆

[@lovewho]

Well three's are nice to look at so... win-win! It's a treat to see you in the comments as always ~ Nathan

[@guymatan7778]

Which mbti type is the most linked to the enneagram 3??

[@oskarm646]

ExxJs (ESTJ, ENTJ, ENFJ, ESFJ), but IxxJs and ExxPs are pretty possible too. IxxPs are the least likely, since they lead with an Introverted judging function. I can't imagine a Fi Dom who believes they're worthless when they don't work

[@mepl4353]

❤

[@ScaryGirlzz]

Literally me

[@chloejones3071]

Are you Welsh!?

[@lovewho]

I am indeed Welsh yes, from Port Talbot in South Wales ~ Nathan

[@anahitamirzarazi4424]

It's hard to say which enneagramm type i am. I am an entp with type 8 and 4 as the most fitting. But 9 and 7 both don't really fit so I'd rather say enneagram type 4w?. But I can't say if its 4w3 or 4w5, I hope the 5 video will help

[@count9548]

Please don’t make the csjoseph typing video private

[@daveyrobinson3779]

Did you do type 5?

[@lovewho]

Not yet but I certainly will! ~ Nathan

[@daveyrobinson3779]

@@lovewho ❤️

[@sornb.8783]

INTJ 3w2 here 🤓

[@gsahara8405]

Please keep making more Enneagram!

[@lovewho]

Will do! ~ Nathan

[@philosopherlogic]

The fact of 4 being published before 3 is super annoying. Guys, type 5 isn't coming anytime soon.

[@eman7183]

Imma INFP 935, so I’m not a workaholic, I’m just a guy who’s constantly daydreaming about being the best.

[@Plasmodiophorina42]

Realizing that my ESTJ brother is a 3 rather than an 8 gives me a lot more compassion for him, thank God, because he's a jerk to me. Poor little brother! This is no dis on 8's. My mom is an ISTP 7w8, and she's pretty awesome in many ways.

[@supernova9563]

do 8 do 8