The Good Life with Prof Robert Waldinger

At this special event, Professor Robert Waldinger will explore the lessons from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest scientific study of happiness ever conducted.
This conversation with Dr Mark Williamson was recorded at a live Action for Happiness event on 26 Jan 2023 actionforhappiness.org.

[@lolacarrascomontalban1348]

Prof. Wadinger is talking about something very interesting and important for me, thank you.

[@IntendJOY]

Thanks! I wrote a an old friend and mentor!❤

[@filippodecardona8168]

Prof. Waldinger reminded me that my wellbeing is much more connected to my relationships with others than I tend to think...Indeed most of the things that make every day brighter come from my relationships with others. Tks!

[@ellipsisms]

Yes, but also a big cause for unhappiness. So, unless we have healthy relationships and people don't abuse us or try to constantly trigger our pain and work together so we can all live in harmony, people think others' pain is not their problem

[@filippodecardona8168]

I see, I guess sometimes we are not careful enough to choose healthy relationships for us

[@roobookaroo]

@@ellipsisms " so we can all live in harmony," Life as an orchestra of thousands? Never happened anywhere, in human history, anyway. Only on the clouds of heaven, and even there, it's not guaranteed.

[@AmyDinges]

Thank you so much, this has been the most beneficial webinar that I have attended!

[@mandylaschou4309]

Excellent presentation! *It made my day to find out there are more people organizing their books by color.

[@roobookaroo]

This is an excellent presentation by Robert Waldinger. It's practically all in the dimensions of 1) psychology perception and intuition and 2) behavior. What's missing is the dimension of 3) neurobiology, what's happening in the brain and the nervous system. This is why it would be a tremendously instructive discussion to have somebody like Prof. Robert Sapolsky, of Stanford Un. interact with Prof. Robert Waldinger of Harvard on the same topics in a 1- to 2- hour video, even including some diagrams of neurobiology to illustrate feelings and behaviors. Note that another video on the same subject is the interview of Marc Schulz by Michael Shermer, also on KZbin. Marc Schulz is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, along with Robert Waldinger. Both scientists have co-authored their new book, "The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness"

[@Marcelo7717]

Dankon kaj gratulojn el Brazilo.🇧🇷

[@56cdross]

Really appreciating what you both offer here, with this broadcast! Prof Waldinger - please reconsider associating the term “shy” with or synonymous for, introversion. Many introverts I know and love, including myself 😏, are not shy in the least. Extra/Introversion are concepts not real “things”; we all exhibit both types of preferences in some type of dynamic, ongoing & fluctuating ratio/measure - depending upon character, trauma history, personality, needs/desires, context, mood, health, financial status and situation, and other variables. Main point I wish to make - not wanting high volume (ie. number of friends), frequency (ie. number of connections/week), and/or intensity (ie. level of intimacy) in social relationships is not correlated with shyness, unless it is for a particular person. Extroverts can feel shy, in situations and Introverts can be outgoing & animated, in situations. These are not binary concepts, IMO. Please consider my argument here and, when you agree with my reasoning 🥸, correct this in your presentations from this point, forward. And, thank you for not only your impressive contribution to this work but, for how you present both yourself and this necessary content. Thank you. CR

[@lucreziaromano6482]

Hello, would you consider sharing your amazing content not only in a video format, but also ina podcast? Do you already have one? Thank you for your videos!

[@violetzillmann2600]

Pain from having a stroke is so overpowering . After living with this kind of pain can just do a person in.

[@ellipsisms]

This is great, but how does it fit with the trauma of being bullied, being abused, and not trusting people? How do you message people you know are bullying you and making fun of you behind your back and stopped trusting altogether? I still message a few of my friends, but I used to talk to a few people almost every day and idk how to anymore if I can't trust them or even know who is on my side.

[@nerddorkdiaries2351]

Trust is extremely important in terms of happiness. I'll expand on this if you like

[@nerddorkdiaries2351]

Recently, I heard RW on The Psychology Podcast with Scott Barry Kaufman and he talked about this idea: a good life is a complicated life. My 1st thought: define complicated. 2nd thought: define a good life. He didn't explain it like he did here but now it simply sounds like positive self talk which isn't bad, but it's definitely disingenuous. It's similar to when you hear a freak athlete get on the mic after winning a championship say "you can do anything you want if you work hard".... simply not true. RW's concept is simply a mind trick which can potentially speak to the largest % of the population .....and sell more books. Smart marketing. Half of the US is on anti depressants/anxiety and or SSRIs, sleep meds, hi BP, etc, sounds complicated but does this also sound like a good life? RW: "everyone is dealing with this which means the learning curve of life is very low, so compared to all the other miserable lives you're surrounded by, you are living a "good" life! Believe it! Tattoo "good life" on your forehead and eventually it'll be true!!! Haha. I just spoke with an old friend from the military, and he told me he's on 2 different antidepressants along with 40 other meds he avoids taking, should I tell him, Tim you obviously have a complicated life, but according to RW, you're living a good life. BTW, my friend is a yr younger than me and I'm on zero meds. For the rest of what RW is saying, I appreciate the research but let's not forget the difference between a hard science and a soft science: hard 2+2 = 4. Soft 2+2 = 3.7. I don't care what the research says (connections are the most important thing to a happy life) health is #1 imo. You could have all the connections in the world but if you're on countless meds for a variety of different health problems no amount of human connection will be strong enough to distract you from your reality. Basically, the easier fix is to convince (trick) yourself you're living a good life rather than actually living a good life. I'm 45, retired for 6 years and currently traveling in Southern Spain with my Colombian wife. We are definitely not living a complicated life but I'm sure to most it sounds pretty good.....but who am I

[@nerddorkdiaries2351]

I appreciate the work done with this study: the Harvard Study of Adult Development, but this book borders on click bait (a literary version) and ethnocentrism. These 2 academics think a "good" life is a "complicated" life. What kind of complications have these 2 academics dealt with? RW went to Harvard so I'm pretty sure he's not living paycheck to paycheck like most Americans. America is made up of many classes and subcultures, what class of people is this book being pitched to? My guess, soccer moms running their kids around all day, taking their Labradoodle to the vet, and fixing dinner just in time for wine-oclock, not the majority of Americans who actually have complicated lives. My friend Matt just got diagnosed with 2 types of cancer and now is suicidal, should I tell him RW says your complicated life is a good life, don't fret. For a couple of years, I worked as a cable guy in San Francisco, a city with a huge discrepancy in terms of personal wealth. I saw how people lived up close and personal and a lot of the time it was shocking, because most people are living in a constant daily struggle to survive, or as RW puts it, a complicated good life. This book isn't for the majority of people in America. Maybe it's for people in the highest tax bracket who have very superficial problems. I've been living an extremely uncomplicated life for 6+ years, puttering around the world with my wife. I would NEVER go back to working 2 jobs or even 1 job, dealing with traffic, answering to an alarm clock, dealing with a boss, just to complicate my life so I could pretend to be living a good life. I'm living a good life now! This book is mental gymnastics because tricking yourself is more plausible than actually finding your freedom and living an easy uncomplicated life. Soccer mom literature

[@56cdross]

Agreed. This book does not age well if you have the ability to be more, than less, objective than most people. Both men are using this research to push assumptive theories that are intended to create pink haze for those needing pink haze to soften the mediocrity and pointlessness, in the main, of their lives and their living. Purpose and meaning taking centre stage in one’s life increases the chance that this one person’s life is less mundane and pointless than most. Still, none among us understand or know WHY we are on the Earth, how we should best live while here, where we came from (that is - where did the first human beings come from/begin to exist, and, what happens to us when we die. Nobody knows these things so - all we have left is to do the best we can without any of these answers. Truth is - everything about human beings - human beings made up, invented, fabricated. There are NO answers. And don’t even begin with Religion…🥸🎈. Reality is not that. Reality does not exist. What exists is what we continue to make up, invent, pretend is “real”. Sigh…