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if you only let it burn
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Lyrics:
I dig the knife under veins in my temples
I cut the tube to allow all the pressure out
I carve spotless statues in your likeness
And envision a world devoid of doubt
I don’t know what to do with the time that I’ve been given
I don’t know where to store double lives I am living
I grab my emotions in trembling hands
I force them to stare at me
I desperately want to pull happiness out
Of the doom slowly becoming me
The first fumbling machination
Assembling an eventual God
The days blur together and I never sleep
Numb needles nest in retinal rods
I find things so I can break them
I searched forever
In each person I met I’d just be seeking you
The greatest feeling in all the world is when I can make you laugh
And you double over or slam your fists or cover your face and gasp
Until your stomach hurts
And I’m left in awe
Knowing I could make a soul
So radiant smile so much
Spent so much of my life intentionally destroying it
So that other people couldn’t anymore
It was a horrible attempt to gain control, that’s all I wanted then
Now I feel safe maybe, now I might be home
And now I have something new to be utterly terrified of
Because it’s realizing you’ve never loved before
Because it’s realizing you’d do anything to hold on
And that’s when you’re in too deep
But it’s too late.
The grass turns black and my ambition is dead, you writhe awake hold your gun up to my head
Guardian angels gather there upon your bed, you are afraid it doesn’t matter what they said
The king behead saw his eyes out as they bled, paint the wall red fill your body up with dread
There is no end save the presence of the lead, serpent flies by for the fall completes the set
The grass turns black and my ambition is dead, you writhe awake hold your gun up to my head
The grass turns black and my ambition is dead, you writhe awake hold your gun up to my head
The grass turns black and my ambition is dead, you writhe awake hold your gun up to my head
Never know what it's like to be your first decision
Never know what it's like to have no tunnel vision
You didn't even try
I guess it's just my curse
You didn't even try
Now I can hear my hearse
I wanted them to stay away I wanted someone to feel the same
You don't even glance at my shallow grave
You lie, fool I, decay and wither away
I waited I waited I waited I wait
I find things so I can break them