The hidden truth about feeling invisible as a woman | Escape the fear of aging

Feeling invisible as a woman? Feeling blah after 40? Feeling like you don't know what to do next in life? Fear of aging? Afraid of looking old? Let's talk! Why do we start to feel boring and invisible? It might be because of the cocoon. What? Read on!
In order for us to grow as women, we must morph into our next version. This requires us to retreat into our cocoon in order to change. This retreat into a "cocoon" is what makes us invisible. The world can't see us. We don't really want to leave what's warm, safe, and comfortable. But we can't stay there. The answer: making intentional choices.
Here's the mobility exercise channel I like on KZbin: / @julia.reppel
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Hi, I'm Diana and I love talking about being a woman over 40, loving your life, style, fashion, and self-improvement. Feeling Blah? Maybe it's time to UnBlah Yourself. How? Subscribe and hit that notification button! New long-form videos every Friday.

[@VickyFlint]

I know we should shift our focus away from male attention - but - for me, spent my first 40 plus years unfit and overweight, not getting said attention. It’s only now - at 47 - I’m getting in the best shape of my life - and male attention is flowing fast. I feel like my life has just begun. I cannot stress enough what eating sensibly and strength training - hard and heavy - has done for my self esteem and confidence as I get nearer to 50. Ladies, don’t sleep on training hard. It’s magic.

[@unblahyourself]

Oh my goodness is love this! Great work!

[@maevey3]

Can't knock that! It seems it's a side effect of looking after yourself, rather than an aim in itself, so, rock it, & enjoy the confidence & strength, as well as the attention. Why not?

[@NikkyGovier]

I am 80 now and have had to adjust to this. I think our attitude affects how others see us. If I feel a bit down I am ignored but if I feel 'perky and full of fun' I get admiring winks and cheeky comments. I love your videos.

[@hristiyanavalkova6665]

Actually I think your analogy is more than working. I noticed that It’s about grief, grief over your old self. It’s about stop wanting to be who you were (you didn’t have a choice and now you’re different), be brave, stretch your new wings, let them dry out in the sun and figure out who you’ve become, who you are now. I am 27 years old, I just lost my dad who was my best friend, and I don’t know how i came upon your video but all I hear in you analogy is the best advice about grief ever! No mater if we’re talking grief about our age or over the loss of a loved one. Now I know that all I have to do Is surrender and develop into my butterfly self, I’m no longer a caterpillar. Thank you!

[@unblahyourself]

I love this! I'm sorry about your loss. How wonderful to have a dad that was your best friend. I'm glad you got something from this video!

[@flamingofan5411]

This was very good advice. I watched it because I’m always a bit confused when women say they have or do feel invisible. I am 61 and I have never felt invisible. I’m wondering why. Maybe it is because I don’t look to see if people are looking at me? I know someone who would state often that people were staring at her. I told her don’t look at them and you’ll never know if they are looking at you or not! Even as I’m getting older when I told people I was going to grow my greys out, a few friends were like… Noooooo! Lol! I told them I don’t care if other women like what I look like and I don’t want other men( other than my husband) to like what I look like! This topic always genuinely baffles me. I see people, smile and move on.

[@kykwiltz402]

Diana, my dear, I am in my early 70's (I can hardly believe it). As young as you are, you have hit on a truth that every woman needs to know. I am not the same person as I was in my 20's (thank goodness), but I am so much more! I am going to get my hair cut this week into a style more suited to my lifestyle and the changes that accompany aging. I am so looking forward to the next phase of my butterfly life. Keep on inspiring us; we hear you, and thank you for for that inspiration. Much love!

[@unblahyourself]

Wow thank you so much for sharing! I hope you love your new haircut! 😘

[@Missmoon1993]

You are truly a GIFT to the internet, I’m 30 & feel this way! It’s a gift to be able to have different stages of life & to be able to really center our worth around what we want for ourselves, it is so much more fun than getting attention from men & I want life to be fun! I love your lens on aging, it’s so refreshing! My role model is you! You have such a light, fun & real presence 🥰 Gorgeous inside & out 🦋

[@unblahyourself]

Thank you!! 😘 Glad you're here!

[@KarenSharin]

Omg ! This is Brilliant ! I am currently coming out or an almost two decade cocoon . As the mom of an autistic child who has dealt with panic and ptsd my entire life I hit 50 feeling like the wreck of the titanic, broken and covered in barnacles. I've spent the past year healing my mind and body , losing 20 lbs and getting over my shame . Thank you . This is SO relatable.and wise ! I will listen to this over and over .

[@unblahyourself]

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad you shared that! So many women will be inspired by your story. 😘

[@maevey3]

Wow, you are great! Well done, & may your healing continue.

[@maureenpeak7751]

I remember really well when I was 42 (I’m now 73) and became invisible. Had just moved to a new country and thought it was because I knew no one. Then the lightbulb moment happened and I realized I had become invisible and voiced that, and people thought I was crazy. But it’s so true. Anyway I totally stretched and dried my new wings and love the mature woman I am now. Thank you for this video. I’m believe it will help the “babies “ in their transition. I love your analogy.

[@unblahyourself]

Yay! So glad to hear that!!

[@RunninUpThatHillh]

What do you mean..people thought you were crazy?

[@maureenpeak7751]

Said it was just my imagination

[@JEANNEHUNTER-q5t]

Every time I go somewhere with my beautiful 28-year-old daughter, I realise that I have become invisible because everyone, especially guys, notice her and fall over their feet to serve her!

[@deehowe8650]

You’re so kind. The info in this video is so true. We do tend to compare ourselves to our young woman days and we do miss her. I used to wear string bikinis, but went swimming to the beach yesterday wearing long leggings and clothes I never would have been caught dead at the beach. But it was either that or not go. So I went and had a wonderful time as the old lady in the group and laughed as much as everyone else. But this time I covered my sun wrinkled skin and came home comfortable instead of cooked. So that was nice. Thanks for the encouragement for us has-beens but still-ares, just in a different body. 🧜🏻‍♀️💃🏻

[@janetemery7902]

I love your analogy. My kids are grown up and unfortunately I just lost my husband after 25 wonderful years of marriage. This video hit the nail on the head for me…. Instead of mourning my youth, I need to figure out how to be a butterfly!!! Thank you Diana. I love love love your videos ❤❤

[@unblahyourself]

Aw, I'm sorry about your husband and I'm happy for your butterfly phase. 😘

[@carriekane5675]

This video's content is very timely. I just decided to stop dying my grays (for multiple reasons) and started to ask what defines beauty and attractiveness for myself in my late 40s. It feels freeing to stop chasing after ideals that are frankly not going to be realistic for me going forward, and honestly never were in the first place.

[@unblahyourself]

YES

[@flamingofan5411]

Also, I think ask why is being beautiful so important in the first place? Who got to decide the standard of beauty to start with? I know and have known many beautiful people and many average and some who would be considered below average. By far the ones who are average or less are the kinder, better people. I think we as a society have stressed the wrong things. Not only am I not impressed by looks or talent, or position, or possessions, I am genuinely unimpressed. I look for people who are kind to others. Who are genuine. Outward beauty is fleeting.

[@joannanangle4876]

When I was twenty full of passion on life thirties the same and met my man at 28 fourties plodding on to work towards our plan still dressed up worked hard full of life still hit fifty ate ice-cream theatre buying clothes still with my man noticed I'd started to change mature and was changing now sixties over the changes still full of life still wearing nice clothes growing old gracefully accepting it and just wear makeup smile laugh walk a lot it's enough for me still have my man vv lucky finished menopause kept busy and never noticed to much thank god all comes right in the end health is more important

[@MadamCactus]

Wow. This is what I needed to hear as I am rapidly approaching 42 and feeling invisible. I have never heard it put this way! This is exactly what I need to do to allow myself to fully embrace the kind of cool, aging chick I have been finding myself to be. Comfortable in our own wings. Thank you for this most important message.

[@attitudecounts6484]

You are my role model. You are much younger than I, but you are such an inspiration. I'm 63 and I am finally growing my gray out. I love the freedom it has given me. My wings are getting un-crinkly as we speak 😊

[@unblahyourself]

Wonderful! 😘

[@EileenPurdy-q6z]

I was trying to find your video on how you started a scarf business? Been wanting to put my own drawings on fabric to create things out of my own fabric. Don’t know where else to see if someone can help direct me.

[@unblahyourself]

Hi! I think I answered your question on a different post. Was that you? Anyhow if you don't need your fabric to be silk try Google "print my design on fabric". There are a lot of companies that do this!

[@morningteawithE]

My role model is Diane Keaton. I know she's a movie star, but I love that she's rejected the Hollywood trend of plastic surgery and botox. She also has her own unique style. I think she's the exception to the rule and must be a strong woman too to say no to even dying her hair in an industry obsessed with youth 😊

[@unblahyourself]

Yes she's always been on a great path!

[@silkestadler2647]

Great analogy! Thanks for being such a wonderful influence. It’s starting to change my life and it feels right and really good.

[@unblahyourself]

Thank you! I'm so glad you are finding this useful! 😘

[@elizabethstandard5184]

I'm 70 now and my 40's were a really rough time. Then, at 50, I consciously adopted a more positive attitude to myself, work and other people and from then on, I seemed to get into high gear. Paying more attention to health and fitness really helped too. I started dating and met some truly wonderful men. I still get plenty of admiring glances. Last year I was sitting in a cafe in Italy and I noticed a pair of older women at another table, laughing and joking with each other, obviously in their mid-eighties. Their hair and makeup were done and they looked smart, happy and confident, just enjoying themselves even though they were no longer slim and youthful. I thought, "that's where I want to be when I'm 86". So, I always say that my life began at 50, but that was just the start and there's way more ahead for me in the future. Thankyou for all the inspiring videos.

[@unblahyourself]

Gosh I love all of that so much! You nailed it when talking about making conscious choices to love yourself and deciding your aging trajectory!

[@dianaserrano2325]

Love this video and thank you for the encouragement 🎉

[@unblahyourself]

@@dianaserrano2325 😘

[@CsTheDayBooks]

I felt I went through a crisis at 37 when my last child started kindergarten full time, I lost my part time job and I felt invisible and lost ! I went through a huge depression and made some very unhealthy choices. I had no clue who I was. I hit rock bottom and then I realized I had the world. Love, support and a beautiful family and I was going to lose it all if I didn’t chose to transform. ❤ I’m 45 now and I’ve developed so much !! 🎉 I even wrote and illustrated a children’s book, something I had always dreamed of but never believed I would actually do! It’s called I’M SOMEBUNNY SPECIAL - Lovey Bunny’s Epic Journey (even made a coloring and activity book to go along with it) I have so many hobbies and interests but most of all I just cherish my family and my children and live in the present moment. Thank you for your channel.

[@unblahyourself]

That is so wonderful. Thanks for sharing your story! 😍

[@Ann64]

This advice is GOLD- Thank-you!❤

[@GemStateMom]

This is so inspiring! I’m 45, and this is exactly what I’ve needed to hear. Thank you! ❤

[@unblahyourself]

So glad you're here! ❤

[@mabelh7305]

You are reading my mind in this stage of life. Are you a psychologist? You are very spiritual, smart and empowering! Thank you!

[@kristenjensen7264]

This PERFECTLY describes what I'm going through right now. I'm definitely in my cocoon after watching my daughter go off to art school in FRANCE! SO PROUD of her but feeling so sorry for my loss of self...of purpose. I've been dragging for months...trying to lose weight and failing at every turn. Feeling discouraged. And unsure of what to do with my free time. How do I define myself now as a single 51 year old unmarried woman? Your video helps so much. Thank you!

[@unblahyourself]

❤😘❤ aww, well definitely hang out with us! It's a journey not a destination!

[@carlenec6209]

Love this. Needed this today xx

[@barbc7211]

Mind blowing I love the metaphor of the butterfly 🦋 I resist becoming invisible at every turn by creating an outfit everyday that makes me feel like me !! Colour texture style that makes me smile. Thank you Diana for doing this segment it’s so powerful and real and inspiring ❤❤❤Thank you so much Barb

[@unblahyourself]

Love that! 😘

[@17witchie]

🐛↔️🦋💞

[@barbaradefaria5604]

When one does the internal work ..working on your mindset...the external starts to line up. I like watching you. Thanx

[@unblahyourself]

So true! Thank you Barbara!

[@barbaradefaria5604]

@@unblahyourself your welcome

[@NormEllison]

Damn girl! You tellin' it!

[@unblahyourself]

😘

[@scentsandgems]

Thank you for your thoughts. You are truly inspiring in many ways (got my first silk scarf yesterday) ;) Also you are beautiful from the outside and the inside❤

[@unblahyourself]

Yay! Thank you!

[@clairereilly2778]

❤ such a lovely video.

[@unblahyourself]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! ❤

[@lisa_wistfulone7957]

You say so many wonderful things here that I still need to be reminded of! I’ve played lost-and-found twice, once after all the caregiving was past, and again after a big burnout during Covid. Thank You!🥹✨ And thanks for acknowledging mobility exercises as fitness! My joint hypermobility (that was fun years ago😅) now prevents me from doing “regular” exercise programs, tho I’m only in my 50s. My burst-out-laughing moment: “Wings aren’t wrinkles…. Wrinkles aren’t wings!”

[@unblahyourself]

I'm glad you enjoyed this talk, Lisa! Sometimes in these videos I'm really talking to myself because, you're right, we need to be reminded. We may know things, but we need to hear them regularly so we can remember to put them into action. 😘

[@tamarabrooking4555]

You know… i always thought there was something freeing about being invisible.

[@unblahyourself]

I agree! It bothers a lot of people though. I didn't exactly love the attention of youth!

[@greeneyedmimibostian3013]

My friends have died. I only have you

[@unblahyourself]

I hope that's not true but I'm happy you're here with me! 😘

[@dezerismith7529]

This spoke to me deeply ❤

[@RealThings-u3q]

that’s what happens when the “butterfly” try to snatch happiness and then realizes that couldn’t Because the butterfly now is old and not good enough so that is probably why the “butterfly” feels lost and with a low self esteem.

[@stephanie_elle]

32 here and unsure if I can still get away with being a caterpillar. I spent my whole teens and twenties feeling shy and invisible, I don’t think my peers really considered me attractive or worth noticing, but you know what? I think I am both of those things, and I want to be SEEN. It upsets me how the generation below me seem to think anyone over 25 is ‘old’ (my 24yo brother considers me truly ancient) and I feel immense pressure to look young - whilst contending with the gentle arrival of grey hairs and hand wrinkles. I think after being ignored most of my life I just want to feel like That Girl for a while before bowing out into butterfly-dom 🤔

[@unblahyourself]

Try hanging out with older people, you will always feel like a young hottie... if you want that. Don't pay any attention to what younger people think, they know nothing yet! And then at some point you're going to reach the DGAF age and then you'll really start to enjoy yourself.

[@stephanie_elle]

Haha! I look forward to the dgaf age with glee!

[@SN-wi6nn]

Thank you for sharing and I can absolutely relate to all of it! I’m 48 now and I’m feeling better about myself now but turning 40 was rough for me! Now my main goal is to feel and be healthy and be nice to myself and also pick myself up to explore life some more!

[@unblahyourself]

Lovely! ❤

[@heathermjordan-durant8684]

😭😻💯🎉🥰💥❣️🔥😁