The hot lava game: we need to own our kids' mental health | Jason Reid | TEDxTemecula

[@mazdysarts]

I'm really feeling this man's pain and sometimes the lesson is in feeling.

[@brunodstone]

I know it's serious!

[@prisonermalloy5022]

This is tragic to the enth degree.

[@julestempest]

I cant even imagine what this is like...

[@stanhopeishere]

I lost a friend in school, I get this, we never know if we don't look or ask.

[@prisonermalloy5022]

@@stanhopeishere or listen!

[@madisoneabbott]

So heartbreaking. Very inspiring to use his tragedy to prevent the same outcome in other families. What a good dad ❤️ Ryan knows he was loved

[@rogernehring8136]

As a parent who raised two daughters I was guilty of saying “You kids have it so much better than us when we were your age”. Thank you for pointing this out. Now that I am much older and they are in their thirties I sit back and just listen to them. No comments and no criticism. I just listen. What I’ve come to realize is they didn’t have it better or easier than I did. Their struggles as teenagers were as hard if not harder than mine. I guess my point is if your teenage son or daughter wants to talk. Put the cellphones on “airplane mode” like we do at the movies. Listen listen listen. So important. Don’t offer advise offer help.

[@bettyheald9861]

Roger Nehring ghost

[@sabahachim]

this is so unbelievably heart breaking.

[@braydenteagan5572]

I am just shattered by this talk, and left with why?

[@lucastheqtanner]

I am in tears for this poor man and his family!

[@lesliecrossI]

This is a lesson parents need to learn before it's too late. Jason is being incredibly brave sharing this with the world.

[@giovanni-is-here]

You found power and belief not to give up and you did it for the love of your son. That's priceless.

[@thisislife8931]

yes agree.

[@marisolroman0-0]

what a beautiful man! way to turn his pain and grief into learning and understanding.

[@lucyiberard1219]

A very resilient man!

[@darkclouds3320]

Our world is too big for young minds to process, there is too much going on and all very confronting. This breaks my heart in how this young boy learned how to end his life.

[@ermacohen]

this breaks my heart.

[@alberteshoeinfine]

Not entirely true, what is lacking for young minds is structure and support that only is possible when the community is behind them

[@janiceglanders]

it is a tough world out there for not just our youth but all living beings

[@daryyldavys]

Every parent's nightmare losing a beloved child to suicide. Your resilience is humbling.

[@janegeegeehogge]

"Tell my story" Thank you Jason. Thank you Ryan.

[@cooltidbits]

What he says at the 2:09 mark is super important to consider. It's not that there are MORE problems happening now (well maybe there are) but that children and teens are able to SEE them in a ways that past generations could not.

[@imanitruez]

There is such a huge disconnect between people in this day and age. We are more connected than ever, yet we are missing so many of the cues and signs that indicate mental ill health in others- and in ourselves- because we do not know how to be WITH people without distraction. Presence and being truly with someone to the point where we can see fluctuations and what they mean is a lost art.

[@shimmikang]

Such a huge topic at the moment, the connection vs. disconnection with technology

[@ronaepstien]

And now we are teaching people how to be nice, compassionate and show empathy.

[@elainarogers]

There are TEDs that make you think, and TED's that make you feel, this does both. Heart wrenching and important.

[@emmajchance]

Oh Elaina, what a beautiful thing to send me...

[@harperleigh1709]

I just watched it, I am so sad and I wonder how many other kids like Ryan are out there now.

[@elainarogers]

@@harperleigh1709 I know, so sad.

[@ericreevesby4192]

There's actually a new part of the curriculum for people getting their teaching degree that discusses how best to educate children about technology and after watching this talk I'm so very glad.

[@suebakernottly]

bless you for sending this to me.

[@vardajesty]

Sharing. Thank you. I haven't the words but I know the awareness is needed.

[@derekjohnston2105]

"Wait till your father gets home" words to instil fear in every child. What my mum didn't know was dad would eyeball me and say, "pretend we had the conversation, maybe cry a little" and hug me.

[@tibogoth]

I'm really impressed by this mans courage and openness.

[@emmatshields]

I struggled with depression as a teenager and honestly the only reason I never killed myself was because I saw the film "what dreams may come" when I was super young, like maybe 8 or 9 and the way death and suicide are addressed in that film is just so powerful.

[@iamthereallovedoctor]

Kind of ironic about Robin Williams then isn't it?

[@cowboycodyvance]

Simple basic human needs are so important but we really have lost our vision of what makes a happy and functional being.

[@markgoulstonmd]

Thank you Jay for keeping Ryan's story alive and hoping it will help others. It's an honor to know you and support you in your mission to end depression and suicide.

[@luisximena]

what a wonderful man, to open his heart and help after such pain and hurt.

[@ermacohen]

He is an angel

[@davidhanson8232]

I cried man I seriously cried and I am thankful he is keeping it alive too!

[@Iambuckandrews]

wow, I cried throughout this

[@anuskahaldar6614]

Well said.

[@sorinareina]

Children are growing up in a very different world and need their parents' guidance more than ever. Thanks for sharing Ryan's heart breaking story,

[@bra-nd-on]

This is why awareness is so important, good on you Jason for sharing Ryans story

[@karsn8382]

Thank you for telling Ryan’s story. He won’t be forgotten

[@Fathaitian-kdy]

X CV wax

[@raulcassanova]

This just knocked me back, you hear about it but don't see it, but you could see the grief in his face.

[@emilmalthe9861]

I have a friend in school who took his own life, we still don't know why?

[@iamthetroublefinder]

Those of us who grew up with a lot of rules and restrictions think that giving our kids the freedom we never had is the greatest blessing. However, developing brains are not designed to take on all of the world while still trying to figure out who they are. Containment of all that messy teenage energy can be a great support, otherwise it is all spread all over the place with no form or direction.

[@MaveLight2030]

One of the most powerful TED talks ever.

[@janiceglanders]

I have tears in my eyes... Thank you for sharing your story. This story is worth spreading. Every parent should watch it!

[@thezoeriley]

Beautiful man with a difficult journey, but his work is so appreciated

[@granmabecker]

I agree fully!

[@bulldogggg]

Giving children freedom, doesn't make them free. The world is too big to understand as a child and there are so many who are overexposed.

[@justinberdand]

We need to own a lot of things, we need to be able to have a quality of life to ensure we have the time (instead of working ridiculous hours and we can't even meet our basic needs) in order for us to be able to look at this issue in a holistic way

[@jeansammy]

Our kids' childhood is so different. We often sit together as a family and tell our daughter stories from when we were children. It was the best time ever, without smartphones, TV, computer games. It was truly a real world!

[@valeriegervais]

Our kids could really do with some old school quality time

[@jeansammy]

@@valeriegervais so true.

[@joopanders]

Children learn from what they hear and see, mimicking and mirroring actions, subtle behaviours, and how to treat others. We create our world with thoughts and actions. We need a complete over haul in the way we view life, connections and the like.

[@juliaressberger]

Oh wow even through the screen I get a sense of his energy, and I have so much admiration for him.

[@ailamacdonald]

Suicide is such a difficult subject to broach, regardless of the persons age... I'm glad people are able to overcome their grief and start these important conversations.

[@georgiarouse]

Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story.

[@kirby_colon]

Thank you, Jason. I hope this talk reaches the people that need to hear it.

[@aniyaspack]

Oh Jason... we are such fragile little creatures and sometimes people get exposed to the horrors of the world when their hearts are still too soft and tender to process it all. Such a sad fact of life that the human spirit just has to accept these horrors in order to live. Truly sorry for your loss.

[@julie-chan]

A powerful message for all parents and care givers in our modern age.

[@bethdanskin]

powerfully said. stories like Jason's are sadly becoming more common and I hope some parents out there see this talk and pay serious attention to it

[@bazzadexter]

What a great talk... the rising rates of suicide in children are something that need to be addressed much more openly than they currently are.

[@kaspergardon]

Such a hard hitting topic, and definitely one we should be talking about more. Suicide at any age is horrible but to have those feelings and think that it'll never get better is truly heartbreaking.

[@shimmikang]

The more it is in the open, the greater the changes will be

[@sksahabuddin6367]

I feel your pain, I can't imagine what life is like after loosing your son. I appreciate your bravery in sharing your story to help other parents.

[@lynnecousins]

My heart just breaks for him and all the parents who have experienced something like this.

[@juicystar1370]

oh this is hurting me for him

[@ryleefinn8894]

Times have certainly changed. Our teenagers are growing up in a world we have no references. We shower them with love and hope they know how important they are.

[@sherylrinkler]

Jason's description of dinner with the family had me nodding my head because I too lived that.

[@alisonjanicewhite]

it's not easy being so transparent about this family struggle and i hugely respect jason for the work he is doing

[@rafep]

I am sure you are the best dad ever. You do what you have to do, good job!

[@sagarmore3893]

You know, I have just discovered a streaming service that has a ‘movie of the day’, and other than a couple of other options, that is pretty much all you can watch. They has weird, arty and international movies, things I wouldn’t usually choose but because that is all I can watch, I kind of love it. I told my brother, and his response was ‘Oh, so it is like TV’…yup. That is exactly it. And I obviously long for that kind of simplicity. The world now is just overwhelming.

[@surut7825]

Its so easy to isolate with entertainment at your fingertips. Its frightening. Thank you for sharing.

[@elizabethbernard3135]

He said I love you - goodbye, this is shattering, this is real, this hurts so bad.

[@austinjay9486]

This message needs to be spread wide. Thank you for sharing your story

[@iwantataste6507]

You're not crazy Jason, full of heart and cause and so many of us are right there with you!

[@Maverick70x]

My heart goes out to parents raising children today.

[@emmajchance]

Unless you feel this, it could happen to you. Thank you Jason for sharing this with us.

[@emmajchance]

@Jenny Borg you are so welcome

[@vickycristena]

I know other parents who are going through this?

[@selitudenow]

I was deadset having this conversation just yesterday, about how difficult these times would be for a young person to navigate and yes, especially for young men.

[@natalemodesto]

I feel quite overwhelmed thinking about this. How can we possibly tackle the entire world to keep our kids happy and well?

[@donnaleonestart3317]

I feel for you!! I have more than 1 child with depression. Stood at the bedside in the E.R.while my child's stomach was being lavaged and charcoal was spewing out all over my coat. MD didn't think my child would make it through the night. My legs felt like jello. My child lived but has to take medication.

[@carlasteadman]

I can't help but feel like Ryan must have been a very sweet and sensitive soul. Hopefully the world is a better place when he comes back for his next life

[@baileyteranirt9528]

I could not agree more with this dude and what he's saying, it is so important for parents to step in and take an active role in their children's lives.

[@tristan-bailey]

This is why it's crucial to build a good rapport with your kids from the get-go, treat them like little humans, not children. Check in with them, let them know they can trust you and come to you regardless of whatever it is they're going though.

[@fourthgirl]

March 5, 2019 6:20am. I lost middle son Logan to suicide. 27 years, 11 months on this earth, father of two boys . He could not manage his mental illness any longer. Being homeless the 5 years of his life added to decline. Vicious cycle of denial, anger, misdiagnosis, wrong meds, fear, strong will to handle it himself. I couldn't imagine a world that he was not a part of any longer. Everyday I wish he were back. But then I remember how much pain he was in, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my precious boy.

[@donnaleonestart3317]

My family is going through horrendous suffering due to mental illness and its ramifications. Then there have been times when we were ridiculed, sneered at,and laughed at. I'm including professionals who did this. It was also insinuated to me that it was from 'poor parenting'. Love Donna Leone, R.N.

[@fourthgirl]

@@donnaleonestart3317 From one Donna to another, I completely understand. Even though you will feel defeated at times, don't give up.

[@tinatuvalle]

The mental health of your youth is the symptom of a much greater cause. We forget that children by nature are empathetic and curious, to see what they are seeing in our media, on our phones - of course it would leave one feeling helpless and hopeless.

[@iamcomediam]

Listening to him talk about his post-school ritual and thinking about what that looks like now has already amazed me... The world is such a different place now.

[@thrasherjoe]

This is a painful talk to listen to, yet an important message that more people need to hear

[@leah-buttons]

So many parents are going through this. How we will get back to basics and ensure funding and accessibility to help and for our community. Thank you Jason for all that you do

[@queenj5308]

Wow this talk was awesome and so necessary! I pray more parents would see this and learn to take time out to talk to their children, nurture, hug, kiss and love them without judgment and criticism! These babies, children, kids and teens need it!

[@donnaleonestart3317]

Connected to comment below.. No human being should be exposed to so much information via TV, internet etc. There is just so much a mind/brain can handle. Growing up we had more outdoor exercise and less processed foods and actually sat at a dinner table. I always had a grandmother, uncle etc watching out for me, my friends and siblings. (Was a child when my mother died)

[@camilaanders3419]

The most important thing is to never loose the ability to talk. Sometimes I feel I've lost this in the relationship with my child. We are so busy all the time, life makes us robots. It's terrible.

[@lauralegault]

oh Jason I am so sorry but thank you so much for all you're doing for families

[@anthonybutlerstream3456]

So heartbreaking, I can't imagine a worse experience for a parent to go through.

[@thipparatchuri-nagrusk]

After I listened to your talk there was only one action required, to hug my daughter and hug her so tightly that she feels deeply surrounded by my love.

[@jacetorence]

This is heartbreaking and so painful, but a truth that needs to be heard. This is the reality behind the news headlines.

[@katrienkarsen]

Thank you TED for the warning before this one. It was hard to watch but I am so glad I did. We need to talk about these things and work together to find ways to support others. Very grateful to have come across this.

[@clarasands8549]

Yeah it's frightening the rate in which are youths are feeling they have no other choice

[@mariaciacci]

Oh Jason, this is such a beautiful and heart-breaking talk. Thank you for sharing and giving people the space to share their own stories.

[@susane4078]

Your talk may make a big difference in someone’s life today. Thank you for sharing your experiences when you lost your son. I can see that it made a heartbreaking impact on you. Thanks for your courage in sharing your thoughts on preventing this from happening in someone else’s family. ♥️

[@virginiamills7449]

Thank you now I know to keep reaching out to my son he is going through the same thing

[@raquel-mercedes]

so heart breaking and such a good man to follow through with such a good cause.

[@julestempest]

I read your comment Virginia, how is your son doing?

[@alexleister]

I am praying that your son is still on a good path!

[@alicjakmusia]

Sorry to bother you, but how is your son? I am hoping for the best and he has come through his dark time.

[@erikashik]

My heart is broken for Jason. My children are the most precious things in my life and to lose them to suicide would be unthinkable.

[@58vette]

Such a heart-wrenching talk/subject. I'm glad you've managed to find a little peace in terms of telling your sons story and helping other parents.

[@randipowers]

I appreciate the repetition of ‘this is not the world we grew up in’. It is hard for adults to shake their own ideals and values based on their upbringing, both consciously and unconsciously. We need to break some of these patterns in order to support teens and prevent things like this. Adults need to let go of their youth and accept the reality that their children are facing.

[@buckpauley]

Pretty eye opening stuff. Cheers for sending across.

[@skyec8562]

It's a whole new world out there that none of us were prepared for I think

[@kasperean]

this make me sad and stronger at the same time, thank you

[@arlinegeorge6967]

Great of this soul wanted to help many other needing help. As a father you are continuing his legacy. Society is money power n status. Pray not only you many more join the crusade of bringing humanity in this divine Universe. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

[@robertahvieira]

The advice he gives around the 14:00 mark is so important. If someone is depressed and they've gone out on a limb to talk to you you just need to shhhh and listen. Maybe ask a question here and there so they can expand on what they're saying and that's it.

[@ceceliawhite620]

Me. Reid, I’m so sorry for your loss. It is a very heartbreaking experience I’m to familiar with. I lost my 29 year old son at the age of 29. He was a wonderful sensitive, caring, loving, generous and giving son. I’m still grieving him every day. I lost him in October I’d 2016. I too went now a quest to try to find answers to the many questions to the Why, What happened, what could I have done differently as so many more. I agree with you on so many levels. I grew up in the 60,s and 70’s. Times have changed so much. We live in a very disconnected, isolated, stressful time. I do think we need to work on helping our children more resilient. Thank you for speaking out about this. My son was suffering from depression and anxiety. What happened in the last few months of his life there were circumstances that put him in what they termed “the perfect storm” hopeless, helpless, worthless.” I found a utube video a woman by the name of Rachel Moorefield who lost her young son in July of 2018. Her story is very moving as well. I wish more people would come forward with their stories. We need more videos on the subject of suicide to bring even more awareness to this alarming epidemic. Thank you again for sharing your story. I’m looking forward to watching your documentary in honor of your son Ryan. God bless you.

[@arnoldcintron1621]

This is someone who is articulating what people with depression and mental health issues wish all their loved ones knew. Share this video.

[@monteTthompson]

Unfortunately the world is a big scary place with lots of unknown factors and threats. That can be tough enough for adults let alone children.

[@harrydecker3979]

This is really hard to hear, but you need to!

[@carliewilferth]

I wish no parent in the whole world had a situation as this speaker had. I can't stop thinking about it. The most terrible life story but the most important for all the modern parents.

[@carljanicek]

The battle ahead of us as we learn to deal with the mental health crisis is going to be real hard but thanks to people like Jason, brave and determined to help get the message out.

[@suebakernottly]

very true!

[@thundercatmeg631]

Hey Ryan... I’m sorry you won’t see this but buddy I’m a mom to a 14 year old... and I heard you. I needed your story, and wherever you are I now I want you to know, you mattered and you helped. thanks bub

[@lilyschmyer]

I hear stuff like this and then I think about all the children who have been born into the worst circumstances, by people who really don't care about the development of the child at all and it just makes me so sad for the future of the world. There is so much healing to be done in so many different places. Where do we even start?

[@sarahyjames]

I think it's one of the most commendable things, to turn a tragedy like that into a point of growth and wanting to help others rather than just sitting with that sadness.

[@pamcampbell3920]

So sorry for your loss Jason, I hope doing this talk helped you in your healing

[@vickycristena]

I never ever ever thought that children can think about suicide. Thanks for opening my eyes.

[@donnadezert]

As a parent I get so anxious about this, and how to navigate my kids through all the horrors of the world. Thank you for shining a light on how to do this.

[@ASMinor]

I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my KZbin channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. ❤️💚❤️

[@jaspernedivek]

We had an amazing childhood, we were much happier than our kids, unfortunately.

[@rachstulen]

Being a parent requires a lot of patience, effort and time and everyone, the whole family, is so busy just trying to keep up with life. And there is the problem.

[@finntwebster]

The lava game was one of my favourite games as a kid, didn't expect where this was going but sharing.

[@andrealawitzky]

Well done Jason, I personally really appreciate that you have turned this in to a teachable moment for other parents. I think your son would be very proud.

[@trevoramani]

Wow this is such a heavy topic... I'm amazed this dude has managed to overcome that loss, let alone turn it into an opportunity to help other people. Kudos.

[@salberntsein]

Good on you Jason, this message, this crisis, it is one that's hard to understand and grasp how to fix it. But it starts with simply having the conversation and raising awareness, thank you for all that you do.

[@ThereAreBetterWays]

Very true. I am grateful to come across this talk.

[@infonation9453]

Been there ! Complete nervous breakdown here. Still trying to recover

[@lovingmayberry307]

Info Nation So sorry. Sending you love. ❤