The Humans Poke Back | 2258 | Humans and Humanity are OP | Best of HFY

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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:09 The Humans Poke Back by ShneekeyTheLost
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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[@AgroSquerril]

If you are an Author and would like me to narrate your stuff , Send me a message on Reddit (u/Agrosquerril) with permission and I will add you to the pool of authors I pull stories from. (no Guarantees )

[@peterbernier7461]

Personally I would appreciate it if you would lose that blue light. I very much like your reading style as well as the stories you choose.

[@niytash]

Do you only read fiction? Would you be willing to narrate the terra papers?

[@AgroSquerril]

@@niytash Yup only fiction , will look into the Terra Papers

[@gr1mzamarr]

Bring back the fishtank your face takes away the power of the story...

[@gr1mzamarr]

Bring back the fishtank your face takes away the power of the story...

[@TJCID22]

Humanity: "That's not a knife. THIS is a knife."

[@colleens1107]

New Tattooine? Yup Star Wars nerds in the distant future CONFIRMED

[@edparagonpc]

It would surprise me a bit if some nerd hasn't already named a planet new tattoine. I sure would!

[@ghostbear177]

Gentlemen?!?! Where's the real Agro foul dopelganger?

[@cruallassar7428]

Not five seconds in and I’m thinking, “No. this is wrong.”

[@deathbedquestion]

Yeah derp!

[@deathbedquestion]

Mentlegents revolt! We run around in circles chanting "DERP DERP DERP!"

[@rybread3981]

​@@deathbedquestionoh shit, I've been running in squares

[@badpop987]

@@rybread3981they make padded rooms square just to mess with us. Cut the corners equally to run in circles and foil their evil mind bending plots!

[@merlinathrawes746]

I have to agree with the Ambassador though. Somebody knew what was coming and had made preparations for it while allowing innocents to die. Unfortunately, that happens more often than most of us know or would want too.

[@larrythompson8630]

So another Pearl Harbor?

[@brigidtheirish]

Possibly, though I wouldn't count how quickly the fleet was assembled as proof. Humans can do things *very* quickly when properly motivated.

[@merlinathrawes746]

@@brigidtheirish True, but given the Ambassador's reaction, he had a pretty good idea how long it should take to recommission the reserve fleets and in his opinion it happened too quickly.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@merlinathrawes746 He also wouldn't be the first person to be certain about something and also wrong. I've just seen too many wild conspiracy theories that revolve around "they did it too fast."

[@OzzyBoganTech]

Yep 👍 like right now

[@Yistern]

Like pissing sunlight on a cluster of ants through a magnifying lens.

[@roberine7241]

quite accurate given the fact we are talking about lasers here

[@itzwizory9556]

Oh Doctor Eggman must've been the main engineer of humanity in this story

[@oscarphillips3654]

honestly, I had expected the human's first volley to be kinetic rail/coilgun rounds ah-la Halo possibly tipped with all kinds of spicy surprises like a Casaba howitzer payload to break or penetrate enemy shields. but a giant laser focused through a gravity lens would also get the job done as well and could potentially allow the beam to be at least somewhat gimbaled so in theory at least a spinal mount Main laser could be walked onto the target if it initially missed.

[@riverraven7359]

Depending on the degree of control the engineer has and the strength of the reactors, if those gravitic lenses were projecting the field outwards rather than just creating a gravitic halo to fire the laser through you could potentially have a sleeve of gravity distortion surrounding the beam. That would add g force impact damage to the target as well as thermal energy transfer from the laser. Imagine a bunker buster bomb, the hard outer casing punches through the armour while the core explodes inside to wreck the internal volume. In this case gravity rips the Hull plating while the laser melts the internal bulkheads and ships systems. Not to mention the effects on biology...

[@jukkiivi4282]

Humans Xenocede Back! For the Algorithm! For the Author! For the Narrator! For the Beard!

[@Twokeeshonds]

Your narrations are exceptional. Hollywood needs to hire you to be in some of these stories. Keep up the good fight, my friend.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@WorldWalker128]

No, not Hollyweird. They don't deserve him.

[@Twokeeshonds]

@@WorldWalker128 probably right with that, lol

[@TJCID22]

@@Twokeeshonds Not Hollyweird! They'd ruin him!

[@Headloser]

I completely agree. He does has a rare ability to engage the story to the audiences.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Having been in the Navy I'm aware of the concept of a reserve fleet. The biggest problem is in manning the ships if/when needed.

[@larrythompson8630]

You did catch that in vacuums of space they were 95% ready to go in hours. Plus with automation instead of thousands of crew needed. It sounded like a few dozen to a hundred per ship.

[@merlinathrawes746]

@@larrythompson8630 I'm very aware of the difference between a wet Navy and a space Navy. Even with automation, crews need training (which takes time) and consumables need to be supplied. Not just food and water, but atmosphere, fuel, ammunition (or it's collarairies). Then there's the system checks, making sure there's no damage from micrometeorites, updating computer and navigation systems, literally tens of thousands (or more) of things that need to be done and/or checked before they can leave orbit and get underway. But I suspect the biggest holdup would be crew. Given that the Navy was down to a hundred frigates and they were fielding several times that, not counting the parasites, even borrowing from the merchant fleet, crews need training.

[@henrihamalainen300]

@@merlinathrawes746 It sounded like they were intentionally having way more crew on frigates than actually needed if they added all the automation. That way it was possibly to keep large amounts of trained crew on payroll just in case they needed to bring out the big guns. Might cost a bit but still cheaper than having big ships operational all the time and faster than having to train new crews in emergency situation.

[@darwinskeeper421]

You can call me what you want, but I'm still a mentalgent at heart. Lovely story and narration, as always.

[@Ryu_D]

Thank you for the video. Yet another excellent edition of, "The aliens F'd around, so now they'll find out."

[@Furzkampfbomber]

Message to Wing Commander: Get those filthy Kilrathi out of my sky and... oh, wait, wrong story. Got a bit sentimental at those words.

[@brianjuergensmeyer8809]

I shall proudly wear the title of Mentalgent until I shuffle off this mortal coil! However, we still need to get the algorithm involved.

[@yomogami4561]

nooooooooooooo! it can't end until the hanth have been eradicated from the galaxy. more stories please [note there is some bonus material on the reddit. unfortunately the 2nd bonus scene is largely a repeat of the first bonus scene atm] thanks for the narration sir

[@ravenouself4181]

More Blood for the Blood God!

[@lrmackmcbride7498]

The lensing problem is why railguns are better weapons. At light speed and space ranges even tiny adjustments mean a miss rather rail gun or laser. Rail/coil guns can be fired with grapeshot packages and a centimeter sized ball bearing moving at 99% light will penetrate hundreds of meters of matter and with a grapeshot package can cover a nice radius reducing misses.

[@larrythompson8630]

But the danger days to months later. Unless caught by a gravity well. Those rail gun projectiles could travel for hundreds of light years. Being pulled off course by mild gravity wells of planets, moons. A laser. Even finally focused to be deadly at 4 light minutes. By 20 light minutes hardly enough to harm your eyes with basic shield. By a light year the most sophisticated equipment might notice it.

[@kuhljager2429]

While i am a fan of kinetics in space, they do have a glaring issue of needing a backstop. Energy weapons with a lensing issue wont kill something 1k Km behind your target. A railgun will. To quote Mass Effect: "This, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight! Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class Dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed. It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb. That is three times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth. That means: Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space! (...) I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty! Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going 'till it hits something! That can be a ship, or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years. If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone's day, somewhere and sometime!" you up those numbers to just shy of lightspeed, and you start cracking planets -- by mistake -- if you miss. I love "slow" kinetics, but the super hyper velocity stuff just isnt useful against anything that manuvers, unless you have some sort of shell-self destruct built in (Like C-RAM shells do)

[@cubiusblockus3973]

Kenetic weapons also have the added disadvantage of MASS.... You require ammunition to fire, that ammo is MASS. Adding mass to anything, lowers is agility. A kenetic fleet would be hulking, monsterous and slow.

[@Darqshadow]

​@cubiusblockus3973 which is why you have dedicated ships for them, basically artillery vessels putting the hurt down in the opening stages. Maybe even parked out with the Carriers and some point defence platforms so no one gets the idea of charging the guns

[@thoriated]

Another issue with kinetic weapons is recoil. The energy put into the projectile also needs to absorbed by the launching ship. Equal and opposite. The hotter the projectile, the sturdier the gun mount needs to be. Rocket assisted, self guided projectiles could be used, like current artillery. More expensive than a "dumb" projectile, but less than a missile, and nearly as effective.

[@aRealAndHumanManThing]

To be honest, I'm not even a big fan of those stories. But the narrating is just on a whole other level, and my adhd is pleased, so I started to watch your vids again. Hope your voice continues to recover well

[@Candleknight]

Ooooo. That gives me a cool idea for space combat! You could have close-to-star battles and use the gravity lenses from this story to instead focus huge areas of sunlight down into solar death beams. With a big enough gravity lense array, you could possibly even use it as a system-wide defense weapon. That's cool! Imagine a semi-dyson swarm of focusing arrays, able to briefly direct the entire output of a star to a single target! Or have the array split up and multi-target. Almost like using your home star as a super powerful laser turret!

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story; Excellent narration! I hope this story has a sequel or two!

[@ironwolfF1]

This, fortunately, is one part of an on-going (I suspect...) series that's being presented in a disjointed fashion. I commend Agro for the reading, but a rethink on his part might in order so as to this chain of stories credit.

[@drthmik]

Kinda disappointed that the best part of the battle was skipped

[@spartus1128]

I wish more stories like this were turned into shows and movies.

[@user-ie2pe3wq7s]

I would have left the flagship with no engines or weapons, leaving comms and life support; let Admiral Deertick float there and think about what he's done for a while.

[@timothyferrelli8274]

The dreadnought ships had glasses.

[@Quiras2]

I love the different voices you incorporate in the reading! Great job!

[@AgroSquerril]

:) glad you enjoyed

[@lumberluc]

"We decided to use their own landing pad." Clearly someone's a rookie.

[@roberine7241]

I mean this almost feels like the galaxy has a "book of war rules" all of them follow to a degree that forbids the use of for example traps and this is essentially someone used to show fights getting into a bar brawl

[@ts25679]

All that wasted time on a build up to know where. At least the author could have described the first shots and their enemies reactions. It's like they don't understand the joy of seeing your enemies finding out after all the fing around they were doing.

[@patembersouls]

In my experience there are two kinds of artists. The kind that do art for the love of art and they don’t care what you do with it. And the kind who want to make money with their art and want everyone to psychically know that they made every piece they post.

[@imopman]

Excellent speaking voices, subscribed.

[@MidnightSmoke]

Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Another great reading of a great story

[@scott644]

Nicely read. Enjoyed the story.

[@taevans609]

Thanks for another wonderful story.

[@TS-bj8my]

Thanks and for the algorithm!

[@pattibakshi8662]

Need a continuation please

[@scotthinger6397]

Good story, I enjoyed it. WITH ENERGY!!!

[@markeustace199]

I'D love to see this bloke do one of the old M.R James ghost stories for Christmas, just been listening to the 1st rate BBC versions done by Sir Christopher Lee ~ brilliant stuff a chara slan go foill!

[@Mustangofold]

Holy heck, he called us gentlemen...I thought I was a mentlegen...

[@Headloser]

The broadcaster sure know how to add special effect to his speech.

[@marlaparraguirre277]

Am I the only one who wants to hear this gentleman read a romance story? Like just full of swoon, and butterflies, and feet kicking squealing scenes of a sweet vanilla romance. Just me? OK. 😅😅😂

[@rowankrencik]

FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!

[@Topa101]

I Loved it.

[@jacknedry3925]

New Tatooine? ok...

[@voutsider190]

Yeah, lol

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Xenos: We destroy your planet! Humans: I'M A-FIRIN MY LAZAR! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[@JMM33RanMA]

Klatu Nikto Baroda!

[@Maeshalanadae]

Our rules are in place for YOUR protection, xenos…

[@SirMarshalHaig]

That sounds like it is inspired by David Weber's books

[@blendpinexus1416]

reminds me of the story "don't poke the humans"

[@adame7269]

...You didn't say Mentalgents. Did the bugs get to you Agro?! Blink twice if you're you!

[@evilraylatiolais]

For Al Gore's rhythm!

[@ChaosLierLen]

For the algorithm!

[@dusanradin5868]

"Plata o plomo"!

[@DK-pb7tr]

Why has mainstream media not made the narrator a job offer ?

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@sonashinko480]

I'm a mentalgent thank you very much good sir😂😂

[@warriorwithin44]

Gentlemen? What happened to us being meta gents?

[@Xypher8691]

As a respectable enough Mental Gent, not sure how I feel about being called a gentleman. Lol

[@jrsydvl7218]

That's 1 in the first 5 seconds.

[@jacknedry3925]

2:33, We get to do anything we want WITHOUT breaking the geneva convention?!?!? thats not good...

[@grogvaughan5649]

For The Algorithm

[@calvingreene90]

Well you f***ed around now you find out.

[@johnschneider931]

🎉

[@ICountFrom0]

There's a bit of an unpleasant high pitch hum in this upload, might want to give it another try?

[@korinogaro]

Pleasant story, good reading performance BUT... it always makes me wonder how authors within couple of minutes know and not know how universe works. What I mean... Aliens shoulg not know number and masses of the human fleet as all information moves through space at speed of light. Even gravity.

[@robertstoneking7916]

The problem with trying to limit gravity to lightspeed is gravity is a four space phenomenon and skips the long way of a 3 dimensional straight line.

[@kdmbigpig]

Humans? FY !

[@KroMagnum4]

Fumigation!😂😂

[@nachtwaya8721]

FOR THE ALGORITHM

[@alexanderkeene4367]

The combat distances are insane. The Earth is a bit over 8 light minutes from the sun. Being worried about being pinned against a planet when planetary orbits are the size of the combat zone is silly.

[@Warpded]

Mental Gents unite

[@chronus4421]

Gentlemen? What's this? Boo!

[@scottcampbell7944]

Fumigation complete!

[@merlinwizard1000]

10th, 20 November 2023

[@goen5601]

No more Mental Gen?

[@larrythompson8630]

Gentlemen? What?

[@TheJeikou]

Late comment

[@gamerboiiiiiii]

Should avdertise or... maybe mention your rumble account? Heard you DO get paid there...

[@Mildly_Dead]

Wtf? Drones slow? In reallity future drones should be the most agile and deadly combatants on the battlefield, i mean think of the most agile fighter jet and think of what it would look like with no wind resistance no gravity acting upon it and to top it of no squishy inside severely limmiting G's.

[@beingsneaky]

Yeah. The author us an... welll.. I mean tell us a story with no action.. no real ending..

[@whgordon6109]

You said Gentalmen... What the hell is going on here?

[@gr1mzamarr]

Bring back the fishtank your face takes away the power of the story...

[@lkuhhdsfgasdgvdadfg]

Terrible end. Wanted to here the enemy reaction. Now, onwards to purge the galaxy of xenos filth, for the emperor!