The impact of Motherhood on confidence and career | Helen Packham | TEDxBrighton

[@annee5582]

I was on this same journey last year too! ♥️ I didn't re-find me...I became the new me. I became the exact person I was looking for all my life.

[@jenniferv.forest7378]

Great speech! Immat that point of my life, trying tonget back after giving birth 5 weeks postpartum. I can’t wait to get back in track with my business and inspire others

[@janettegarcia7439]

Thank you! I’m a mom of two and I have my masters degree I just got a job at a university and I’m setting my goals. It’s boosted my confidence and I’m so excited to begin this journey. Ted talks is also in my vision board !

[@samd5332]

I am so grateful to be a mother. I'm thankful I have a career where I can contribute to my household. Motherhood adds that delicate balance in my life. It is the greatest challenge and the most rewarding.

[@kingwithoutacrown1]

Motherhood is perfect for people who never want to eat a whole sandwich by themselves again.

[@toobawaqar588]

You are part if this cycle...you also ate ur mothers' half sandwhich.

[@kingwithoutacrown1]

@@toobawaqar588 Actually my first comment has a humorous intention, Tooba. And it's not even my creation. it's something... my mum told my sister & me when we were kids (we were a humorous family)

[@amandeepkaur-wz7xq]

Glad to hear that it worked out for you Helen. Motherhood is a full-time job with long hours. Take one step at a time you have the whole life to plan and plot this is what I tell myself when trying to get through it. The first year is usually critical. Today my job's great reward was when my 10 months old stood up and smiled confidentaly looking at me and the 2.5 yrs. pretended to share a secret with me and we giggled together.

[@perisplayground]

Ok.. that's it. No second child for me because the bowling ball of Parenthood will strikes again. And I will be the one who feel it.. I'm the one who have to reconnect again and again.. not my husband. And the process is very tiring. Thank you for this post. It's exactly how I felt right now. now I have the courage to say NO when things are getting settled later..

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Lots of love to you Kireina

[@mysterion9686]

Having a child as a mother is just one of many events that can classify as a bowling ball. Men have plenty of struggles, including having children and their relationship changing. Do you honestly think the man in her story didn't have a difficult period in his life? Get out of the victim role. That's part of what her story is about. Take ownership of your life.

[@Adoptedforever]

I think she is talking about waking up to your truth of repressing your emotions and shedding your ego. I went through that too in having a child. It teaches you how to live for yourself and know you cannot depend on others for self worth. This is so powerful and beautiful and I so relate 🦋

[@jodimontoute]

Thank you for speaking your truth. I fear a second child.

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Everyone has different experiences. Support is key

[@aafgahfah]

Don’t fear it: do it. In fact, do it because you fear it. We’ve just had our third. It’s going to be hard, but he’s beautiful. I can’t wait.

[@Lolee56]

@@aafgahfah not everyone needs to live life like you. Everyone wants different things... what makes u happy can make another person miserable. If your truly happy with your decision to have a second and third child than u wouldn’t need to force other women to follow into ur footsteps just so u can confirm and seek validation for your life :)

[@aafgahfah]

@@Lolee56 I’m sorry my post made you feel that way. It was intended to have the opposite effect to the OP, who chose to state publicly his/her fear of a 2nd child, presumably to invite constructive reactions. I don’t recall forcing anybody. Anyway, all the best.

[@Lolee56]

@@aafgahfah well when someone says they don’t want something or fear another pregnancy and you basically tell them “not to fear it and do it cuz I did it and it was great for me” I just think that’s wrong… ur assuming everyone needs to live life the way u did.. that’s like you getting pregnant and me telling you “yikes u should have avoided it ur life’s gonna be miserable now adding another baby into the mix” I’m sure that would have rubbed u the wrong way. Anyways that’s just how I feel, but I can tell from your response that u didn’t mean harm

[@cocobandicoo]

The problem is that society undervalued and underappreciates moms. Your value in this Era is all about how much money you make. You are valuable whether or not you make money. I'm a sahm and my family cherish me so much, and our community is very appreciative of sahms. It's not an easy job. In fact it's the hardest most self sacrificing one. Your worth is not in some degree or 9 to 5 job. You just need to renew your view on motherhood.

[@TB-rx1ue]

So, what happens when the children leave? No mission in life left? People are more than career women or mothers 🙄 People have multiple dimensions such as, social (motherhood, social, friends, spouse, family), career/interests, financial, spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. It’s ok to be want to be fulfilled across the spectrum. People have different seasons of life and some need more fulfillment than others in different dimensions. I don’t plan on ever choosing just one label :) Btw Im no longer ashamed to admit that I love the career that I’ve built. I’m good at it. I love my workplace and I love what I do. Motherhood is a relationship with your child that guides them to become well adjusted independent adults, not protecting them from suffering or hardships. That stuff is character building. People over idealize motherhood or under idealize when in reality it’s somewhere in between. I suspect you fall in the former category. If you think all you are, is a mother... you’re in for a rude awakening when if you did your job right, your kids no longer need you. Your kids will never say thank you because they didn’t choose to be born, but it was your choice. Before you are a mother, you’re a wife. Spouse almost always comes first. And before you are either, you’re a multidimensional human being with desires for self actualization. A mother is a temporary label. The only permanent mothers that exist are those that have children with lifelong debilitating disabilities. I grew up idealizing motherhood... thinking maybe if I popped a child I’d finally be something. But now I know better. You can’t be fulfilled without realizing you have other needs/desires. Motherhood appeals to me since it gives me some power to build a better future, and hopefully create a generation better than myself. But I’m never going to shame or make someone feel less than because they are fulfilled in a dimension that I’m not. That just sounds like defensive envy! If you look at history, most moms worked heavily... brought water from a well, hand washed, butchered, cooked from scratch, farmed/foraged, sewed their own clothing, and had little of the conveniences today. The full time mother is a fairly novel concept that resulted in helicopter parenting and ill equipped children that go back to the nest after leaving it. People are more than the labels of career woman, mother, etc. Careers and interests end. Motherhood ends. But life only ends when the physical dimension is no longer functioning. It’s just all in the seasons of life and important to not neglect other areas of fulfillment. Btw - my sister’s therapist told her that she was over parenting. She took offense and never went back to him again. In her idealized view of motherhood mind, she was a terrible mother. But I sadly have to agree with the therapist. Homeschooling kids bc of bullying instead of teaching coping skills is just doing them a life long disservice! Bullies grow up and become managers and continue to bully. Intervening when kids struggle is over parenting. That energy imo is better used for actual work or a career. She’d have been much happier. Kids are meant to break bones and learn. Over parenting is not even good parenting and those that do it somehow still think they never do enough. Ah, the dark side of over idealizing motherhood is unhappiness and children that are ill equipped for life. No one wins. I too was sheltered growing up and when I left the house I was in for a rude awakening. To my utter disbelief, people were terrible and how do I balance all of these sudden life demands? How could this be? How do I function outside of the structured home environment? Lol I too was a victim of over parenting. My mom was a stay at home mom that pretty much did things I could have done for myself for me to make herself feel better. Somehow enabling me made her feel like a better mom. People say motherhood is a self sacrificing role because they are not not fulfilled in their other dimensions. Instead, take care of yourself first as you can’t pour from an empty cup.

[@marietagarvanska103]

@@TB-rx1ue I have rarely seen a better comment on motherhood. It is definitely something in between - it gives a lot, it takes a lot but most of all teaches us to look within and learn so much about ourselves. It teaches us to be better humans.

[@hobbithallows]

Earlier it was only men’s family who were scrutinised for making money Later that scrutiny transferred to individual man And now it’s propagated to individual woman Today’s world is no money no power no respect

[@EllaFitz755]

Great message! I'm setting my anchor down right now and creating new dreams!

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Love love love that Elysia!

[@katiemaynes8384]

Amazing talk Helen! Inspiring, courageous and vulnerable and delivered with a great deal of humour!!

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Thank you so much Katie!

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Thanks so much Katie!

[@jerryattom2930]

Thank you 🙏🏻 Thank you 🙏🏻 thank you this helps me a lot

[@SB-bn4go]

Thanks so much for this! My spirit needed this. ❤️

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

So great to hear that

[@Cindydy2010]

Wow I'm so going through the same thing ll Hope I'll get the same help

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

It's out there for you cindy. Big love to you!

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

I hope you were able to get some support cindy

[@cs6989]

Matthew 7:24-27 ESV “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Psalm 34:4-5, 8 I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV) "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or "What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

[@reallydoe2552]

Great speech love her voice terrible crowd

[@reallydoe2552]

800th like

[@georgiavarjas1985]

Wonderful inspiring Talk, natural and honest...full of courage yes...and love.

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Thank you Georgia!

[@ripplem5121]

Evolution needs to make people respect mother more.

[@onesimusmoratox7078]

Nice message ❤

[@brittsade3713]

The last message has me in tears ❤️ thanks for this talk

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

Thank you for watching it Brittany!

[@katefreedomincorporated]

Could Ted X link the Speakers in the Caption with their social media handles so we can add them to our network? Thank you.

[@alexislane1035]

Studies show that when kids are away from their moms more than 30 hours a week then their mental health suffers but a part time career can be great. Check out the book mompowerment to find ways to negotiate, find or create part time work. It may mean that you don't get a promotion but I would hope your kids would be more important than that.

[@iamDonareen]

thank you for this!

[@helenpackhamspeakercoach]

A pleasure, I'm glad you liked it

[@lilysunshine3447]

We are humans. Redefine what is a parent?

[@goldmother2238]

I'm part of the divine.

[@musicandeye]

Dont fall for society/family pressure to marry and have children. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. If you do and feel you made a mistake, too bad, you're in for at least 25 years, you lose so much, it's not worth it. Dont believe the hype.

[@Ikaros23]

Better to regret not doing it, than regretting doing it. The world dont need more unwanted children of parents that just did it because of fear of missing out or fear of judgement.

[@avacadotoast5492]

I'm so happy I don't have kids. Every single person I have ever met that is s parent starts off with "I love them more than anything... BUT" and then go on to talk about how miserable they are..

[@allbanglalipigazi2045]

Hi

[@DeluluIsTheSolulu]

*snorts line of birth control*

[@alexislane1035]

Why was the baby given cow’s milk?

[@gaudiumrome]

Mothers should not have careers/jobs other than motherhood.

[@AnnaAllEyesandEars]

terrible advice

[@gaudiumrome]

@@AnnaAllEyesandEars It's not advice. It's an objective statement.

[@sdsqueen]

Your statement makes me believe you are a mother who actually needs to further her education.

[@serveurmistress1094]

It isn't motherhood if you're a working mom....

[@vidhyareddyn2714]

@@gaudiumrome What happens after the kids leave home, husband dies or domestic abuse? Would you advise the same for your mother, sister or daughter? Would you not care about finances at all if you were a woman? Give us advise king