The Insecurity of Dependent Personality Disorder

[@virginia3937]

I have been diagnosed with this disorder. It is so embarrassing. I'm 41 but I feel like a helpless child.

[@stardustNine]

Same, I'm 39. I feel for you❤ I found this video looking for answers to heal. I've been in therapy for many years but have had the same problem my whole life. It went undiagnosed until last year. Probably overshadowed by my other mental health struggles. My heart goes out to you and I wish for your healing and autonomy. In other words..your freedom🙏🏻✨

[@althaad3396]

Which female partner is better for a men with this type of personality

[@Anikinomundo]

My father was a narcissist and my mom a dependent personality disorder. It worked because my dad loved that people had to rely on him for everything.

[@juanpedro4083]

today I saw a person totally out of his mind, probably the family does not know where that person is. what to do when we meet people in these conditions.

[@VergilFan]

I had a similar situation growing up. I'm not sure if my dad was a narcissist, but he was controlling and abusive. My mother was submissive. She would tell me to ignore his behavior when I use to ask her to leave him. 😐😐 So, his downtalking to me, combined with being probably the most bullied in school, really took its toll on me. In my 20s, I had terrible anxiety working, to the point where I'd have to run into the bathroom to calm down. It was terrible. I'm in my 30s and alot better, but my anxiety still lingers.

[@Contessa998]

@@VergilFan He was most likely narcissistic.......glad you are getting better. God bless

[@Contessa998]

Very familiar and very sad

[@Fernanda-wo1qk]

It seems like you're diagnosing them based on your own perceptions, rather than relying on some medical diagnose.

[@coolkitty2075]

My parents were very strict. Could barely think for myself. Took years to work through it 😢

[@Nafisatsuleiman1]

Sameeee😭😭

[@kav782]

This !!! I thought I was the only 😢 felt really excluded ngl.

[@thedevil1667]

In the first year of middle school I got involved in the "popular girls group" I was their servant... I always followed them and never had anything to say. I was always embarrassed and I couldn't say no to anything. I thought we were friends but at the same time I hated them! I was trapped. Thank god I realized that it was toxic and left that group. Took my best friend with me. Now I'm a completely different person. Now I'm 15 and I understand so much more! They made me understand how people really treat each other. Taught me to not trust everybody.

[@nothomelessonyoutube]

So how was being 16 and probably doing the same thing but a diffrent group of people?

[@KellenAdair]

Best to learn early. Good job!

[@msdesiraecannonministerfor6921]

As a college graduate in social science, this area in psychology is also prevalent in my mental health development. 8 years ago I had a serious problem with my health, seizures.

[@msdesiraecannonministerfor6921]

Currently on medical disability insurance. On medication for this disorder. Must have my friend drive me to grocery shopping . By the grace of God, iam. Still alive.

[@nomiddlenamenmn427]

I was in a relationship with someone with DPD. He constantly said he was in love with me. He literally told me that he was in love with me five to ten times a day. When we went into premarital counseling, he didn’t want to answer any personal questions before seeing all of mine so he could copy all of them. He was convinced, if we married, he could cling to me to the point we never spent a moment apart. Great video.

[@apparentlyworshipped7747]

So how’d you get rid of him 😂

[@simev500]

(3:31) “…fear that if you become good at something, you may be abandoned and may not have someone around for the support you need…” Umm. I experienced this as a child from adults around me, both related and unrelated. Only teachers, the good ones of course, were emotionally available at all. No wonder I always look up to these individuals, and still do. On the extreme, this can also be subconsciously imparted by a caregiver(s) who is needy and insecure and will surely make another insecure adult out of you. Then, you are left holding that unwanted emotional baggage until you find a way to unburden yourself.

[@AfroGothixa]

she came for my jugular w/ that one

[@rosaliakasolo2315]

Hey Doc ? Do you know that you deserve an Oscar award, Nobel prize or one of that kind of awards...... I really don't know which one . Thank you so much for helping me with all my psychology assignment. You always one KZbin away. 🤩

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Ha! I love that. One KZbin away...

[@TuckRob]

I would be interested in your thoughts on how this might be seen in relation to ADHD where experiencing difficulties in decision making (and a history of the consequences of bad decisions), inability to complete what we set out to achieve are compounded by emotional dysregulation and emotional impulsivity.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You can definitely develop some similar insecurities with the pattern of being an effective. Check out this video where I talk about ways ADHD can make you think about yourself. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fHebmKOpm8uqnpI

[@Elvialuciana]

YES! After I saw this, I really did think I fell under some of the criteria for DPD but since I also have ADD, I really don’t know if Its my ADD what’s keeping me so “dependant” or this new DPD thing I stumbled upon. :(

[@mysticmiserly7732]

Why are you speaking the same language as me ? The similarities oof

[@ceterisparibus8966]

​@@mysticmiserly7732 I think I know what you mean 😜😉

[@kmcq692]

Cocktail of Circumstances. (Good band name?) Yeah. I probably have this and ADD inattentive type all my life. Time goes by and menopause makes it a real thing. Now what? I’m thinking I’ve gotta pull myself up by my brastraps. All I know is that I still have gumption in there somewhere.

[@dejaniracosme7822]

I have most of the signs for this disorder. I always thought I felt this way because of low self esteem and/ or because of my social anxiety. I feel good to know the conditions that I have and understand more and more my feelings because sometimes I don’t even know how to put them in words but at the same time it makes me sad that I may have more going on than what I think. :(

[@johnbrock4974]

Wishing the best. Low self esteem + social anxiety = dependent personality disorder. I have both, so I'm at risk. I'm 15 though, so I can't know.

[@dejaniracosme7822]

@@johnbrock4974 thank you. Hopefully you will not develop it. Best wishes to you too.

[@dejaniracosme7822]

@Hetta G :(

[@Tinyteacher1111]

@@johnbrock4974 You probably can feel it. I’d start working on this if I were you. My son is 35, and can’t do anything by himself now that he’s a recovering addict. He lost his entire sense of self. 🥲

[@lemonade_011]

@@johnbrock4974 same but not diagnosed cuz of bad social anxiety I get you

[@Shirden]

This describes what I'm experiencing in my life as a result of growing up with co-dependent conditioning . . .

[@iffybaker5013]

All of us, SOCIETY TOO!!!

[@martakomasko]

Thank you. Being around many family members and people who wanted to dominate me and make me dependent on them, I have yet to work more again on personal responsibility and development. As in that unhealthy, unaccepting, arrogant, diminishing and disrespectful environment I developed because of that some tolerance and flexibility aka peace making and sacrificing myself to keep the peace going. Thank you for encouraging the autonomy and self development, independence and true support in that, not in co dependent, conditioned love.

[@nini.purple]

Exactly my thoughts!

[@FeinLineMusic]

I simply cannot thank you enough for this. I needed it so. Thank you Dr. Marks.

[@LaGrossePaulik]

Clearly, thank you 🙏 not a lot of content about this very subject.

[@FeinLineMusic]

@@LaGrossePaulik So true! To be honest, even after years of studying topics like this, I have never heard of it until today. Was beautifully articulated. Hopefully more content to come soon 🎹🙏🏻

[@juanpedro4083]

@@LaGrossePaulik today I saw a person totally out of his mind, probably the family does not know where that person is. what to do when we meet people in these conditions.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You all are welcome 👍🏽❤️

[@theguyver4934]

@@DrTraceyMarks - I'm schizophrenic can meditation help

[@abbilucious7186]

I've been diagnosed with mixed personality disorder, dependant being one of them. I never thought I had many traits until watching this. It's given me such an insight into my thoughts by linking thoughts and behaviours I've had recently to what was said here. I don't know what autonomy means but when my social worker recently said to me about seeing an improvement in my mental health, it sent me into complete panic mode that she was going to discharge me. It actually stops me from wanting to get better because health professionals will leave me

[@Sunbearish]

autonomy - freedom from external control or influence; independence:

[@valsterhuera4460]

PLEASE MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT ANXIETY & PANIC AND THE FEAR OF GOING CRAZY. We want reassurance that Anxiety or panic does not make us go crazy. Thank you very much! ❤️❤️

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Scroll through my anxiety playlist. I have some videos talking about panic.

[@sherrytaylor3738]

This is my mom. A lot of her behaviours make sense now. Thank you Dr. Marks!

[@juanpedro4083]

today I saw a person totally out of his mind, probably the family does not know where that person is. what to do when we meet people in these conditions.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks a lot Sherry.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

@Pedro if you know them personally then try and get them into treatment with someone. That may involve taking them to the hospital for an evaluation.

[@juanpedro4083]

@@DrTraceyMarks I don't know him

[@I_Stay_4_SKZ]

Idk y I’ve never connected the fears of extreme separation anxiety I got as a child to the obsession over being abandoned now as an adult. I mean I didn’t even remember that I used to have those fears & memories of certain moments that I had long ago blocked out along with the rest of my childhood are vaguely familiar but they’re still very fuzzy memories ATM..... But wow how insane to be watching a video on YT & hearing her mentioning something triggered me to unblocked memory.... oh boys this explains A LOT

[@marinalodi6313]

I'm 25 and after much struggle, living with anxiety all my life and developing depression when I was 19 (while I was suffering with starting my first healthy relationship) I got diagnosed with dependent disorder. This year I had two relapses of depression because of relationships that didn't go foward, and separation anxiety was the worst. As now I know how and why I suffer so much in this matters, things didn't got easier, but less scary, and your video made a perfect summary of the simptoms. I hope it helps people like to recover from difficult situations and work on their autonomy and self-esteem, cause we might thing we need someone, but all we needis to love and help oursevels, in making a much lighter and healthier life!

[@jamesharris3493]

Dr. Marks, you’re a remarkable lady. I enjoy watching your videos because, it makes me more assure of myself and helps me decide what I should do next. Thank you once again for being there for me when nobody else cares.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Oh James you’re so welcome. It’s an honor to be here and i’m so glad you’re benefiting. 👍🏽😊

[@jamienglish7092]

Dr. Marks. You have been an awesome help for me. I recently overcame panic attack which has been with me for 20 years. You are a true psychologist. Because of you, I can now live a better life. Thank you so much for your informative footages which helped me understand intagible mental world.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I’m so happy to hear this! Understanding is exactly what I want you to get out of these videos!

[@ChiyoRR]

Oh man, this feels like a brick wall to the face. I wonder just how much of the disorder can be due to childhood neglect?

[@ChinaRed05]

Your childhood(parenting) has a lot to do with this

[@thatonecatwiththetophat]

Probably a lot, my dude. It really hurts to say that it's difficult to want to live on your own. I still have a hard time admitting it to family, ha.

[@ChiyoRR]

@@thatonecatwiththetophat Oh yeah, it took me about two years of therapy to finally be okay with moving away. I moved over 1,000 miles away at that.

[@thatonecatwiththetophat]

Hey, man, congratulations! I'm so glad to hear. :)

[@ChiyoRR]

@@thatonecatwiththetophat Thank you very much! ^_^

[@addysaw]

As an extroverted person, I despise being alone, makes me depressed as hell. But I just CRAVE human contact. Where I live though, everyone's a negative Nancy and you feel worse around them. Vicious cycle

[@nitakate10]

I know it’s a difficult time in our world with COVID. Hang in there buddy. I have this too. I hate it. My partner has to walk me across the road and hold my hand I feel pathetic I’m 50

[@addysaw]

@@nitakate10 what is it that scared you of being outdoors? Can you face that anxiety to get rid of it?

[@justinebourke9449]

I need to see a video on having this disorder and coping with being on your own. I have nobody at all since my partner left and I am chronically suicidal. It's been months and I'm staying with a family member but he doesn't understand, we were never close and I can barely look after myself. Every minute of every day is tormented. I'm just stuck in my bed feeling incredible anxiety and emotional pain and loneliness. I can't take another day

[@pfuiteufel1385]

I feel deeply sorry for you and can relate to a huge extend, there's a reason I'm getting informed about this specific disorder. Please seek psychiatric help. You and I need to work on us and we should not give up. There is light in the darkness, even though it currently doesn't feel like it. Sorry for the flat phrase, yet I mean it so. Only the best of luck, friend.

[@justinebourke9449]

@@pfuiteufel1385 oh thankyou so much. I feel for you because it's seems you're suffering similarly. I do have a psychiatrist although I see different ones from a team and I don't like or trust any of them. I know they have diagnosed me incorrectly for a start. They decided I have borderline pd after only a quick interview and questionnaire and they refuse to discuss any other conclusion. They know very little about me really. And all they can offer are drugs that make me feel worse. They don't relieve the out of control anxiety and crushing despair. I've been tried on so many different antidepressants that never worked and some made my anxiety much worse. Antipsychotics too which do not agree with me at all. I need psychological help and a good friend or two. It's complicated ofcourse. I hope you are getting good help and support? I'm trying to familiarise myself with the bible and I'm really struggling with it..... anything for comfort . Sorry for the whinge. Thanks again for your message. God bless you.

[@KarlSnarks]

I don't really have the other symptoms, but I definitely recognize the part about feeling unable to start new projects on my own, and needing reassurance a lot (though not for the really small things)

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Some people just need more reassurance without it being a problem for them.

[@derciafernando1905]

I have the same issue but I love being independent but I take too long to start a project because my parents are the same but at least I have started a few fearful and I was successful

[@KarlSnarks]

@@DrTraceyMarks It has definitely limited me in things, but I don't think I have DPD :)

[@KarlSnarks]

@@derciafernando1905 Good to hear your pursuits were successful and you mastered your fear 😊👍

[@circlesevendivination4928]

thank you for having very understandable an unbiased content. this is great for helping me discern different forms of the mind

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re so welcome!

[@garbageplate]

Was trying to put this into words yesterday and here I have been coincidentally blessed. Thank you.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome. It was great timing then

[@reinejeanne69]

I have a condition that makes my muscles weaker and weaker over time, my parents have always been there for me. They took me out with my friends, to after school activities, everywhere. I am still a teenager and I have a lot of the symptoms a person with DPD would have. This video helped to understand myself better and it gave me hope to seek out therapy and work on myself. Thank you Dr. Marks!

[@VotEtoPizdets]

This video helped tremendously. I wasn't aware that this category existed and I was under the impression that these symptoms were just a scattered and arbitrary group of issues. This helps narrow the search. But, the combination of all of your videos has shown me that I cannot do this on my own and has inspired me to finally seek professional help again. I've been worried because the last two psychologists had crossed the professional line and caused even more issues for me than I had before seeking help. This left my trying to go at this alone for nearly 5 years and it's not doable. Thank you for your life saving videos.

[@davidprocell8138]

This video is all about me! I didn’t even have this on my radar. I got a divorce two years ago and I can’t move on because my spouse told me what to do and dominated our relationship. When he left me and I was alone I couldn’t handle it it’s taken me two years to be able to work again. Is there treatment for this and what is it?!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I’m sorry that break up was such a setback for you. The treatment would be therapy, particularly therapy around assertiveness training and boundaries.

[@MH-rv3tf]

So soft 😂

[@carolinewoolgar6457]

I’m in the same place. Will you do a video, outline the basic steps to get started?

[@tmsphere]

I feel like i have a strong reliance on a person but that reliance is almost entirely emotional. Like they're part of me, i can live w\o them but emotionally its gonna eat at me. I know its unhrlealthy but fear of losing that person are strong to the point of trauma.

[@sapphirepokemonfan]

dont worry that will lessen 💗It did for me. Feel your emotions and reparent yourself

[@theprousteffect9717]

Would you mind making a video devoted to lack of self-efficacy?

[@DrTraceyMarks]

That’s an intriguing topic. Thanks for the suggestion I have saved it to my list

[@Nishimiya_Bojji]

Hi Dr. Tracey, I am learning a lot about myself just by listening to your videos! Thanks a lot for them!

[@BBFCCO733]

I resonate with some of this. I have BPD traits along with a slew of co-morbid disorders. I used to strive for autonomy but gave it up and collapsed after years of my narc father sabotaging me. I fear if I become independent, I will lose my current family then not know how to function beyond that.

[@khalida02]

With a lot of respect, this was everything I read on WebMD. I was hoping for more tangible solutions based on your video title.

[@DieezahArts]

Thank you for that illuminating video... Having had both separation trauma (and the anxiety that comes from it is still there) as well as a set of chronic illnesses affecting various parts of my body (including asthma) I was expecting to find your list a terrifying revelation but apparently I don't have all the traits. I'm always eager to learn new skills and I learned a lot of what I know on my own. I am not scared of initiating projects and I don't seek people's validation in most situations. I seem to be shifting from enjoying being alone (I'm socially awkward, don't like being around people) to feeling like I can't make it without someone to take care of me. The thing that hit me in your list was the part about being very pessimistic. That's totally me. I guess that's not enough to say I have this particular disorder but it's still very eye-opening...

[@Shirden]

It's really great that you create these videos to promote awareness . . . it would be ideal if you would share more about overcoming our past conditioning that plagues us with these disorders . . . mainly co-dependency because that's at the core of all of the disorders from the DSM V

[@annamoulton7087]

Hey, I wanted to say thank you for doing what you do. I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder quite a while ago and never understood why. The one video about the difference between BPD and bipolar disorder really helped me understand the "why". I hope you decide to do a more indepth video about it sometime, I already feel like i know myself better....it was a 10 min video! You changed my outlook in the span of 10 min. Thank you! I am very glad I came across your channel! You have so much helpful information, generally speaking. I look forward to any new stuff you put up ☺

[@kathleenjohnson8774]

Thank you for making this video. I have a friend who is going through this, and her husband and I didn't know how to talk to her doctor. This was the video we needed. Thank you again ❤️

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re so welcome Kathleen. I’m glad this helped you wrap your mind around what she’s going through.

[@saifulhaque5135]

By listening to her, it feels like I have every mental disease in a psychiatry book... I am sure you’ll find this kind of feeling is a mental disease itself.

[@shubhigupta2553]

U did a great video on how to stop fearing failure !!! Pls do a video on how to stop fearing about your health

[@a_mourning_dove]

This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. My feelings have been put into concrete words. Thank you so much. 💜

[@DrTraceyMarks]

That’s awesome I’m glad!

[@andrzejmaranda3699]

Dr. Tracey Marks: THANK YOU SOO MUCH for this video! It's SOOO IMPORTANT for me!

[@tashiekaking]

I am the opposite of dependent. Not being independent, not feeling like I have total control of my life is frightening to the bone.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

There’s probably a lot of people who can relate to those fears

[@a.k.4085]

@Tashieka king. Same. I wouldn't be able to be around a dependent and needy, clingy person for long at all.

[@tashiekaking]

@@a.k.4085 honestly I tend to be a round needy people alot. I don't know why but somehow they always seem to find me

[@tashiekaking]

@@MariaRose_88 honestly, I started realising that growing up I always wanted my parents to really see me and acknowledged me. Then, now I think that has alot with me attracting needy people. Maybe, I’m afraid of feeling abandon as I usually felt growing up,

[@tashiekaking]

@@MariaRose_88 True, thank you

[@JigglyCox]

We recently had a patient who committed suicide after struggling with this disorder - he was really sweet and called 50+ times a day. I'm only admin so it is good to understand what our patients are dealing with - thank you for such a clear breakdown

[@sayusayme7729]

Wow, thank you so much. So many questions answered. Grateful Doc. ☯️

[@variety927]

This is so helpful, thank you. Was diagnosed last year and this has helped clarify things I struggle with.

[@ciarajca25]

Can you do a video on how to manage being in friendship/relationship with someone living with this disorder?

[@shantelelewellen2788]

Thank you for this content. I have ADD, yet you just explained very similar behaviors. I unfortunately check off all the boxes for this disorder. Could you make a video on ways to improve and what to do about it?

[@JoshNFam]

Doc Tracey has a beautiful personality 🤩❤️💕💕💕💕

[@olive_99]

I’m currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis for a genetic disorder that I have an extremely high chance of having. Other than the fact that I show basically every symptom i have also had enough medical test to rule everything else out that it could be and I’m only 22. My body has felt like it has been betraying me my entire life, and I’ve had enough medical trauma in the short time I’ve been alive the most people will ever experience. And the worst part is it for so long it was just this unanswered question of not knowing what’s wrong with me and why I feel so bad all the time. I’ve had a very hard time in the last year trying to understand why my insecurity Towards myself as a whole and my ability to survive on my own runs so deep. As I finish that last sentence it finally made me connect the unexplainable dread I had as a child when thinking about the fact that I would have to grow up and I would not be able to depend on my parents anymore, and I would half to take care of myself. It was never out of laziness, or feelings of apathy. It was truly a dread of not knowing how I will be able to maintain the skills to survive on my own. I genuinely mean this with my whole heart that I have never been able to understand these feelings until the second. Thank you. From the very core of me thank you for giving me something that explains the feelings that have never fit under the description of anything else. Of course I need to Bring this up with the doctor and have them evaluate me, but I truly can’t explain to you just how much I’ve been trying to find something, anything, that really describes what I’ve experienced my whole life without missing major symptoms. I’m trying to get into therapy, but I think I was so reluctant because I’ve searched for so long with nothing that seems to fit me. Seeing this video makes me feel like for once there might be an answer that’s actually correct for me.

[@allenhecker]

Thanks for doing a video on this topic.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome Allen 😊

[@crmelly]

I was diagnosed three months ago with Borderline personality disorder with antisocial, histrionic, and dependent personality disorder traits and I also have ADHD and NVLD so I have intense emotional sensitivity, separation anxiety, and relationship problems. I struggle starting relationships with people because of my poor social skills from my NVLD and ADHD, but as soon as I get attached, my dpd and bpd symptoms make me very clingy towards one specific person for a long period of time until the relationship ends or until I move on. My hpd symptoms make me interpret relationships closer than I think they really are and when I’m attracted to a person, I may act promiscuous with them as well to initiate intimacy so I can create a closer bond with them. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m always doing this because I think the relationship is closer than it is and this causes the person to separate from me which makes me feel a lot of distress. My aspd symptoms also makes me callous so sometimes I don’t realize the full extent of my actions may have on another person, because you feel detached from understanding how it feels since you already feel chronically emotionally numb. It is very difficult to have a personality disorder with mixed personality disorder traits because it makes having fulfilling relationships difficult when that’s all you want. It makes you feel like you’re a bad person even though you’re trying not to be because everything you’re doing are behaviors that you’ve been maladapted to. It make you feels like a burden for being genetically dispositioned, inconsistently socialized, and traumatized growing up for behaviors that you can’t always control. People forget that when you are putting down people with personality disorders, you are also putting down abuse victims, and that everyone fails to acknowledge what’s happened to a person and instead see what’s wrong with them. People shouldn’t be demonized for having behavioral health disorders and they deserve to receive the help they need.

[@MeowMeow-sy2mi]

My trauma makes me exhibit all of these traits. But I have a lot of traits of other personality disorders too so my psychiatrist just said complex ptsd with personality disordered traits 😂 way easier than diagnosing me with 4 personality disorders.

[@addysaw]

Hehe I had a similar diagnosis. In simpler words: a basketcase 🤣

[@purplegemcrazyroyal5247]

You just described my life!😔

[@Flo-cy4xc]

Incredible that this videpo just came out, I got diagnosed with avoidant and dependant personnality disorder juste a few days ago !!

[@mmohseni69]

Oh my God 😭 thank you Dr for what you do🙏

[@UN33kWabb1T]

This in no way describes me at all! I am extremely independent and prefer being alone. Being with others drains all my strength and leaves me exhausted.

[@Hanapetals]

I’m kind of like this! Except being with ppl when I have to act social and happy and stuff is exhausting too so I only like being around my partner who likes me for who I am, even if it’s a needy child sometimes lol 🥰

[@olafelsberry420]

This is why I appreciate my Grandpa, he taught me all these things I no longer care that it scares the shit outta me.

[@msdesiraecannonministerfor6921]

I appreciate your commentary on mental health criss.

[@khambrelmathis6101]

What advice do you have for people that deal with these personalities

[@buckwheat_flower]

the fact i was just thinking about this and didn't even use any keyboard search before it was recommended

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hmmm...Sounds like KZbin knows you’re a little too well

[@buckwheat_flower]

@@DrTraceyMarks anyways. You are a treasure 🥺💗 please keep up the good work💗

[@Inessa77]

Another amazingly clear explanation, this time of DPD, thank you 🙏🏻

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome😊

[@californiadreaming6560]

Thank you,

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome beach mom😊

[@SonnalPardiwala]

I have been following your updates and they are so informative.

[@dc4l923]

I just turned 30 and I heard of “DPD” while watching one of my true crime channels on KZbin and thought “hm what’s this?” Looked it up and thought “well shit.” it’s crazy cuz lately I’ve been working on not always agreeing with anything anybody says. I’ve actually been disagreeing more cuz I’ve always just agreed with people with anything they said even if I didn’t hear them. I’m always asking people for advice to get that reassurance cuz I don’t have the self confidence built up yet. I’m the youngest out of 4 siblings growing up and my parents got divorced when I was 10. My dad moved away and my mom was a drug addict and never really took good care of us although we lived with her. I remember on school nights I’d be up crying while everybody else would be asleep. I always felt MAJOR homesick whenever I’d go to school one day in 4th grade I even walked out and went home I felt so homesick. I’ve been in 2 serious relationships in the past 7 years and at the time the thought of breaking up was literally impossible for me to grasp. Being a man it was pretty embarrassing the way I had acted. I’ve been alone for several months now so being alone isn’t a huge problem for me. I work 60 hour weeks so my job keeps my mind occupied. Now that I know what this is, this is definitely gonna change my perspective from here on out. Take my symptoms and pin point what I need to work on and how I’m gonna do it! Thanks.

[@tashajones2255]

Thank you, Dr. Tracy!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome!

[@chickenbiscuit4525]

Plus they more often than not seem or assume to be perfectly harmless people.

[@chriserony]

They generally are harmless people. It's self-sacrificing behavior but can get very exhausting for the person they cling to.

[@yelortiz]

Thank you!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome Yel!

[@violetlove1893]

Dr. Marks, thank you for this informative video. I used to be dependent in my early 20s until I got to my late 30s.. then I switched to being alone and liking it. Is it normal to NEED someone there all the time to being much better on your own? I used to allow childish men to mistreat me just so I wouldn't be alone. And when I got to my late 30s I preferred being alone than having to deal with the annoying everyday misunderstandings, constant berating, depressing episodes. I would like to have friends but if they start to depend on me, I feel suffocated.. now I have no friends, no significant other, and I'm comfortable. I'd like to have friendship and companionship but after about 3 to 6 months of the person relying on me, I feel smothered. Does this mean I've gone from one cluster to another? Is that possible? I can't express how much I learn from you on these videos. You are underrated.

[@addysaw]

Isolation sounds horrible! It sounds more like your past acquaintances were shitty ones to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@violetlove1893]

@@addysaw my past friendships and romantic relationships we're not nice. I am a guy's girl so my female friends (when I had them) were always trying to hook up with guys, talking about their hair and make up. And I'm a tomboy so that was annoying to me. I like joking around, watching and learning about different subjects, talking about REAL issues and helping ppl. I don't have guy friends anymore because their gfs didn't like me. As for the guys I dated, they were interested in sex sex and more sex. I was raped by different men and can't just have sex. I want to know someone, be best friends, and be comfortable around that person. I want to marry someone that I can trust with my life. But I haven't met him yet and I've stopped looking.

[@addysaw]

@@violetlove1893 completely understandable. So what do you do to enjoy time by yourself, if everyone around is unfortunately not interesting?

[@violetlove1893]

@@addysaw I write poetry, read, watch shows about animals, love music, do abstract art, encourage other ppl on youtube, pray, defend anyone being bullied, and research topics that pop in my head. What do you do?

[@addysaw]

@@violetlove1893 I try to spend as much time as I could with people, but unfortunately they bore me completely. So I spend time learning new information through books and...KZbin! 😁😁 Otherwise I enjoy making money at work, as superficial as that sounds

[@jacobtosh5456]

I really appreciate this video.

[@bobbrian1641]

This lady is a genius

[@mistystovall4817]

Can you do a video on tourettes specifically coprolalia? I live an overall normal life but once in a while I have a vocal verbal tic I will say words or phrases I don't mean to say I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor but I think I have a very super mild case of coprolalia. Thanks in advance if you can help me out that would be awesome!

[@mtk3668]

Being diagnosed with AvPD, i find myself relating to the symptoms of dpd a lot. They say People with a PD tend to have overlapping symptoms of several, so that makes sense i suppose.

[@figsandhoneyblog]

how do I go about breaking this cycle and mindset?

[@8van]

Dr. Marks, What should be done about it? Is there a way out of this personality disorder?

[@janorhypercleats]

Yes, but how do you overcome it? I have done assertiveness therapy and many other types of therapies, but I still have some of the characteristics of dependent personality disorder. I'm tired of this disorder!

[@chriserony]

Any luck? I'm the same. I'm so exhausted from worrying about what people think and never being able to feel good about my decisions, even though I cut out people I could be dependent on.

[@janorhypercleats]

@@chriserony Assertiveness therapy is good. You learn how to assert yourself. i've been asserting myself for years. But, it never completely goes away. A personality disorder is part of who you are. It never completely goes away

[@davidk.7264]

I had no idea, thanks.

[@destinyroney4031]

There's just so much about how our own minds can be our worst enemy that I just don't know about. Another great KZbin video on this subject is The Mess on Planet Classroom Network. Summary: A multi-faceted take on one woman’s experiences with bipolar disorder.

[@Bhappi137]

Bang on again with this Dr Tracey

[@wendyleeconnelly2939]

I have read that many traits of personality disorders are actually developmentally normal in adolescence (the self centeredness of narcissism, the need for approval from dependent, the all-or-nothing thinking of obsessive-compulsive, the unstable relationships of borderline, etc...) and average teenagers have some or most of these behaviors for a time... but that healthy people outgrow them and therefore one cannot reliably diagnose personality disorders until late 20s. It basically posits that personality disorders are developmental in nature and expressions of delayed development and immaturity. Is this accurate?

[@khambrelmathis6101]

I know someone 65 years old dealing with this

[@enraged1584]

@@khambrelmathis6101 therefore it was a result of thwarted regular development

[@zeethree]

Is it likely to have both Avoidant and Dependent personality disorder? I suspect my dependence is a consequence of avoidance. The few relationships I have are lifelines and with my remaining family dying of age I feel like I must create new emotional attachments or I will end up completely alone. I am terrible at making friends and I have very little experience starting a romantic relationship. I made an attempt at independence at 18, but due to ADHD and anxiety/isolation I struggled had to leave college. When I returned home my dependence on my family and my only friend became even stronger than it already was.

[@heathercruz2739]

I've never drove and people push me to drive .. I have flashback of my grandfather telling me to take the wheel and him putting me on his lap and having his way with me ... and i blank and freak out and never drive right. To the point I just stop. One time I did it on the highway and almost got hit... I want to drive but I cry trying to even drive

[@ilened2219]

There is treatment for this. Probably EMDR, and then ExRP. So sorry you had these traumatic experiences!

[@dakotasir9849]

So what would you say are the best ways to deal with this kind of disorder? I feel as though I have been dependent in recent years of my life, they want to know effective ways to feel more and again come from doing so.

[@chriserony]

I had this disorder as a teenager, but I dont think I've healed from it in the right way. It has been a long time since I needed daily reassurance, but I need reassurance for large decisions. I will feel uncertain about a job or school choice for years. I've also gone the opposite direction and become overly independent and distant, scared to make close relationships because I know I will get lost in the dependance again. (Its like getting drunk) I'm in my early 30s and not sure where to go with it from here, but Im very depressed and most therapists really didn't understand.

[@cherp5837]

I haven’t taken a promotion out of will for over 10 yrs only because i feel unworthy and i don’t trust myself and ifear to have lead anyone or work on projects I would rather be a follower take instructions and work in the shelter of competent individuals I’ll change this soon😊

[@ytb8361]

Thank you so much. My bad abusive, incompetent therapist caused me to have this disorder by corrupting my thoughts, and using ocd, mental control techniques against me. Brilliant video.

[@ytb8361]

That bad, abusive, incompetent therapist and others caused me avoidant personality disorder thoughts, adhd and add inattentive executive skills dysfunction, agoraphobia, mistrust of everyone, too much trust, mental breakdown and a much worse social anxiety, naïveté, obsessive compulsive disorder, psychosis and trauma.

[@ytb8361]

In addition to causing me codependency, no confidence, psychotic delusions of grandeur, magical thinking, obsessions about suicide, death and no self-efficacy. No therapy is much better than bad, abusive therapy. Good therapy is great though.

[@ytb8361]

This video comes at the right time.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I’m glad. I hope you recover from that experience soon

[@haisesasaki3944]

Looking forward to NPD. Thank you, Dr. Marks. ❤️

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Have you noticed that’s the only one I have not done yet? You’re holding me to it...😊

[@anacronrealz]

I think I have that.. Does antidepressants helps with that?

[@a.k.4085]

Thank you. Excellent video as always. I am probably about 180 degrees opposite of this Personality disorder. 🙃😊👍

[@heathercruz2739]

Same with going to work im scared to go. And it does bug me. Because its breaking my relationship.

[@amanitaocreata4401]

Ah.... my 2nd favorite psychologist on KZbin..... my first favorite being Jordan Peterson, though he doesn't always discuss psychology

[@alberttibbets6567]

"For the person with dependent personality disorder, independence and autonomy are frightening to the bone." So if I understand this, one could be smart and competent but fear these very traits because they could lead to rejection and isolation. One would be desperate to suppress and deny one's abilities and accomplishments. Funny how life and seem so chaotic, and so bewildering. And then Dr. Marks describes it and explains it in a few, easy to follow paragraphs. And I have to re-watch this video several times, and take notes and sit and think about the meaning of all this.

[@kfarrahi8749]

Dr. Marks, I do not mean this in any way that is disrespectful. With mental health, there are many stereotypes as it is, and words like dependent, insecurity, rely, fearful, anxious, impulsive, loneliness, and so many others make a hard topic even harder to digest. First of which, all these words are subjective. What may be impulsive to someone may not be impulsive to another. What may be act of dependency to one may be partnership to another. I did not click on any of your videos, these are just words from your video titles. We should never define ourselves by these words.

[@johnhollandjr.2632]

G’morning, Dr. Tracey Marks!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Good morning to you John. It’s evening now though 😊

[@Soarinoverohio]

What is the recommended treatment for this disorder?

[@t.bo.6495]

Beautiful doctor..

[@anbujothivinodkumar3564]

How to come out of this disorder as I suffered when my parents left me in hostel during childhood

[@mansisharma838]

hey my boyfriend has anger issues and also he believes he is not good enough usually all these thoughts go away when he is happy but when he is even bit irritated he say's stuff that hurt people even to his mom. Although later he realise that and gets into guilty mode for what he did. Can i do something to help him? i have tried to explain him so many times he tries but nothing stays long... any suggestions?

[@jonathanjollimore7156]

I spend most of my time alone I am mostly dependent on myself but for physical needs I do need some help from other right now.

[@jeromeocampo5665]

Hi Dr Marks, I've been asking some questions but I guess your getting too much from the others too. Sorry to bother. I feel like I am not going to last long with this anxieties, panics, stoke and heart attack like symptoms, I don't see a future ahead. I've been in several medications, Atorvastatin, Clopidogrel, Losartan, Rivotril, Brintellix and switching from Lexapro, Epival, Quetiapine, Olanzapine and other supporting meds. I refused to take lithium due to doctor's precautions. I am not getting well, instead I'm getting worst and all worked up due to stroke like symptoms and this stabbing pains and burning sensations, numbness the left side of my body dominates my knowledge about having anxiety attacks. (Mostly every night, before going to bed or while lying in my bed.,) When will this rushing to the hospital end, overruling stroke and heart complications is not helping anymore, any chance of getting back to normal or at least manageable? Because if not, I am thinking of ending it sooner than become a burden to my parents whose too old to take care of me. Is this really the end? my family have had suffered enough that I've been avoiding getting attention and care. I hope this gets noticed this time, by you my reliable source of comfort Dr Marks or from others too. (Diagnosed with Anxiety/Panic Disorder, MDD, Bipolar 2.)

[@jeromeocampo5665]

Any answers will be highly appreciated. 😔

[@a_mourning_dove]

I'm not a therapist or anything so I can't offer advice. All I can say is that I feel sorry that you've been going through all of this. Your pain is valid and your emotions matter. 💗

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hi Jerome. I’m not sure if I understoodwhat you said, but it sounds like some of your anxiety is health related anxiety? Medication can help but usually people need therapy to manage the behaviors that reinforce your anxiety. I Talk about that a little bit and this video kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJncY4Vnd7GXrrs. I really need the help of a professional therapist to help you get through this.

[@melodyrogers8839]

Hi it's me Melody.. woohoo I don't have this! I have a new therapist and she's going to help me with E MDR therapy. I'm really excited about it. Thanks for your videos. Be safe

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Yay something you don’t have 😊 it’s awesome you’re going to get EMDR. All the best to you.