the issue with being vulnerable

Just wanted to make a video about my thoughts on being vulnerable and some of the problems I’ve faced. Just wanted to clear up my intentions and .. that’s it! I hope it makes sense :)

[@rex_8618]

I've always believed that no two people in this world are alike. We are all the same, yet we are all different. The reason I love your channel is because I resonate with your experiences, and there might be times when I don't, but this is what makes each one of us unique. I get why you have mixed feelings about being vulnerable, and I would too if I were in your place.

[@AnLittleAlex]

Thank you so much! Totally, I think it’s all super nuanced. My fear is hurting people, but it’s also hard because I can’t always control that.

[@ryanfrank4299]

Being vulnerable has often come back to bite me. I've found that even the people closest to me use it to label me as some sort of pathetic broken person and I know that's super negative but at least at this point in my life i'm working through moving past what anyone thinks about anything really.

[@AnLittleAlex]

Totally. Self acceptance is the most important journey we all must go on. I’m going through the same process, letting go of what people think of me.

[@SneakyCaleb]

A cigar woah she’s fancy

[@goofyguber6492]

"if its your decision to be open about yourself, Be careful or else.. Be careful or else." - Elliott Smith

[@austincasey4621]

As harsh as it may seem, I view vulnerability a lot like trust. In that it needs to be earned, at least to some degree. It’s natural to put up defenses around people, especially strangers. It is absolutely necessary for people to be vulnerable when trying to form lasting, healthy relationships. But it’s okay to pick & choose. 😊 People are complicated.

[@AnLittleAlex]

I get that and agree with you. There are a lot of things myself I would only be able to share to those closest to me. I guess my threshold for what I share is a little different. Depends what my goal is for sharing. :)

[@jazzlayla]

I get it, you can observe and watch the feelings emotions thoughts, they come and go, they’re not you, interesting to talk about and consider

[@seanotoole9840]

Thanks to the youtube algorithm, im glad i found your channel. It relates to me so much.

[@dougwollman2533]

Outstanding communication skills. Not to mention the content. Thanks for sharing.

[@AnLittleAlex]

How kind of you! I feel like I struggle communicating my thoughts and feelings sometimes so thank you so much :)

[@artgalax9212]

💙

[@Blackmind0]

People can naturally fall into negative feelings, envy, fear, greed, sadness, jealousy and many more. Some people wallow in them and lose themselves in a whirlpool of these destructive thoughts. But is that life? Is this your life or my life? I am older than you and have studied many philosophies of life. Always searching for my true self and the right life for me. It's not about perfection, power or possessions. I differentiate between important and unimportant things, it's about mindfulness. Vulnerability is not part of it, it always comes from the outside and when I am stable within myself and know who I am, no one can hurt me emotionally from the outside anymore, I only think about the things I could change, everything that is not in my power can no longer hurt me emotionally. But that doesn't mean not being empathetic. greets BM

[@AnLittleAlex]

For sure, I’m on that journey too of searching for my true self. Mindfulness is incredibly important , but to be mindful also means to be open with oneself. That’s how I see vulnerability, it’s an acceptance of oneself. It’s to show yourself and the universe who you are, not because you need the validation, but because we are one with the present moment. There is no self, we simply exist. And it’s an important journey for us to take to not let things outside of ourselves dictate how we should be and how we should feel. I’m just sharing that journey

[@geoffcresswell4815]

after your avoidant attachment style video . im finding your are openness a little bit strange . is it just romantic situations you have trouble with .. i would like to ask more but dont want to be overstepping any boundaries or make you uncomfortable .. im just working out ive been seeing a woman for a few years on and of and just feel im getting smashed up every few months and text for sex dragged back in and spat out again . . i would like to learn more and find out whats happened to me for far to long .. if you can share ... im not sure its a good idea to spill on here ... cigar looked great tho

[@AnLittleAlex]

I think we all have troubles in our lives, the goal of my video is to humanize those troubles and work towards understanding people. What is it that you need help with?

[@geoffcresswell4815]

@@AnLittleAlex i only just found out about this condition DA.. I have been looking into it and now afraid to even ask her is this what your like is it you suffer with DA .. does this effect you with every guy you try to be with or just some guys .. i got to be honest im kinda messed up with all the mind games or changing of minds or flaking out on me . i really just am knocked out by it all and wonder does she know she has this im to afraid to ask anything anymore.i just wish i knew years ago and could of saved us both some stress and brain cells. i get the therapy aspect but to see someone that actually can explain whats going on in your state of mind or gut is much more sense than a quack

[@seanotoole9840]

Watermelon 😂

[@thebrianchannel9890]

You seem ready for psychedelics

[@AnLittleAlex]

Lol, nah. I’m scared of that stuff, and I’ve had really bad experiences in the past. Id rather suffer and reach to conclusions on my own without the need of drugs. Maybe one day when I’m in my 40’s lol

[@SoldierofGod88]

Huh, i dont get the impression you're vulnerable at all... like yes you talk alot about how you feel about things, which allows us to know you more and more, but vulnerability by definition means being susceptible to harm. I haven't seen you talk about something that rly stirs your emotions where it's clear you're in a vulnerable state where emotional harm can be inflicted if the viewers takes it in the wrong way and you feel hurt by the misunderstanding concensus. Those youtubers who expose their dirty laundry, THAT'S vulnerable to me. I have real dirty laundry that would scare most ppl out of my life and i have tried being vulnerable with many ppl due to a mountain of suicidal guilt and shame on my shoulders, i needed to lean on someone.. 80% run away, 15% realize they aint strong enough to hold up a friend's spirit. Less than 5% actually are cool with your true weaknesses. Real ppl are hard to come by when you weak weak lmao. Thats my experience anyways. I pit you more as... an open soul willing to experience the raw reality life has to offer instead of the frivolous luxuries and the hierachical social status games. However i dunno... girls these days go for 6' guys out of subconscious hierarchal groupthink. Lol but you seem to be a loner type.

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

She's a dismissive avoidant. She's going to show her vulnerability in a different way. Those on KZbin who vomit their emotions are not more vulnerable, they just don't have their emotions under control like she does.

[@AnLittleAlex]

I have a few videos on my channel where I am vulnerable in the way you describe too. I don’t show these explosive moments but they do happen, and they do happen in my real life too. I think vulnerability is on a spectrum depending on what you’re comfortable showing to people.

[@AnLittleAlex]

@@SunshineAndSnowflakes I always find it interesting because i do have those moments as well, as we all do because we’re human. But it’s something i usually go through on my own. I am someone who’s really sensitive too so I get moved to emotion very easily. But as quickly as I get moved, is as quickly as I get over it. It’s interesting. My struggle is being afraid of hurting people with my vulnerability and emotions.

[@SunshineAndSnowflakes]

@@AnLittleAlex and I think that's the difference. Some people have more of an explosive set of emotions coming out as anger, resentment, depressive episodes and avoidants handle it in the way they feel best. I still see your vulnerability as vulnerability. It's just worded and expressed differently.

[@SoldierofGod88]

​@@SunshineAndSnowflakes By definition, a dismissive avoidant struggles immensely with being vulnerable. I know, Ive dated one, and I've been one for most of my life. I would feign vulnerability by posting long Facebook posts detailing my thoughts on love/romance/mental health etc... Kinda like this, except hers is video format. Its a mental exercise in vulnerability without being fully vulnerable, because at any time she can choose to cut a conversation and not reply. The failsafe is the screen dividing us. Its how dismissives put their toes in the water to see if its cold. If the reaction is good, they will continue to dip further into the pool. Had ppl reacted negatively to something she reveals about herself that brings shame, her reaction would be to pull out of the water. I haven't seen anything that she talked about that reveals deep shame. Logan Paul had immense shame after his suicide forest scandal, he tried being vulnerable about it, and ppl go for the throat. True vulnerability is scary, its not for the weak. That being said im not saying she's never been vulnerable in her videos, but for the most part its surface level. Im gona guess you're also in your 20s.

[@SneakyCaleb]

Do you have instagram