The Jedi Apprentice (Star Wars ASMR Parody)

[@Mochael84]

“Anakin, ads during ASMR videos are evil!” “From my point of view, ASMR is evil!” “THEN YOU ARE LOST!”

[@ThatPalRyan]

Me: listening to ASMR at 100% Volume. ads: "Ha your in danger."

[@ArtemisWasHere]

Before a video ads should play During and after? No

[@caferreri11]

Have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Ephemeral the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the professor would tell you. It's a Rift legend. Darth Ephemeral was an ASMRtist of Miskatonic University, so relaxing and so calm that he could use ASMR to influence the mind to induce. . .sleep. He had such a knowledge of the Tingle Side, he could even cure the ones he cared about of insomnia. The tingle side of the Rift is a pathway to many triggers some would consider to be highly relaxing. He became so relaxing. . .the only thing he was afraid of was becoming immune to his own triggers, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately he taught his son everything he knew, but his tingles would not put him to sleep. Ironic, he could save others from Insomnia, but not himself.

[@sjescone]

Only 6, likes? Dude this was spot on!

[@skymanlordoftheskies]

You should be a storyteller as a living

[@MERCERENiTY]

😂

[@LOS_DE_CIEN]

Ironic

[@LizBadura]

Is it possible to learn this power?

[@narwhalmcgeefriendlel6643]

Have you heard the tragedy of Darth Paul the Wise? It’s not a story the ASMRtist would tell you

[@averagelifeenjoyer14]

he could give tiggles to other but not himslef, ironic

[@hisamue]

Star wars asmr memes

[@erdgerd5503]

Ironic

[@tazerfacegaming5777]

I have so much power, to leave the likes at 500 or change it to 501 for the 501 for the clones.

[@Cadaverous0711]

I'm not sure if "Darth Paul" was intentional or not.

[@NoEntertainment]

Bruh this ain't no parody this is the real star wars 10 😤😤👌 the producers said "fuck it, let's make it asmr" and it worked

[@GodToaster]

Lol he is the new god of asmr lol

[@saulmoses8698]

Your profile pic is fucking perfect with your comment

[@sirerinkiestink4103]

Yeah just skip episode 9

[@NoEntertainment]

The People at Star Wars were inspired by Windows in their numerical sequences, so they skipped 9 because they thought that this movie was going to be so fancy and new and innovative with ASMR technology but unlike Windows it actually was fancy and new and innovative and now instead of lightsabers n shit it's just tingles

[@gall9had]

Little bit shorter than most star wars movies but its still an hour long

[@Halo3Rat_]

Looks like I didn't kill all the Jedi RIP Darth Vader

[@Waveslayer123]

Yeah fuckhead

[@Sammy-dz2hk]

Omg yes lol

[@LunarEdge7]

Fret not, we have all the time to do so.

[@inflatablemattress2]

What a dick

[@Kangaru13]

Long live the empire

[@steven2189]

Was almost asleep until I heard “inbred jedis” then started laughing and now I can’t sleep

[@functionatthejunction]

I keep hearing it in Grievous's voice.

[@DavidAbell26]

I’m a simple man, I see rift I click. I see Star Wars I click. I see Rift+Star Wars I break my phone screen clicking

[@kingconflict9022]

Oh

[@Andy-ly2tz]

Oh

[@Amogus104]

Oh

[@generalkenobilegoproductio5488]

Well...that’s just peachy.

[@nodus7853]

you click your phone?

[@guilhermehank4938]

"Relax with the high ground"

[@gall9had]

Guilherme Almeida my gosh youre a genius

[@zacharymiles5982]

The high ground didn't help anaken relax.

[@yng_Lakey]

Zach Attacks Gaming anakin**

[@odaprotozoan]

Relax high with the ground

[@KING-FMJ]

I have the pie ground

[@Utsubyou52]

After playing Jedi fallen order, I now can’t see this as Taron Malicos trying to turn me to the dark side

[@nicname3147]

This is my headcanon now...

[@jazzydragon4498]

Join the dark side, we have tingles. Lol

[@gellertrabai619]

Yeah, right? I was searching for this comment.

[@holdentudiks7123]

Ive come up with a theory. Rift always posts in the morning because he wants us to fall back asleep so we miss school/work and we all get fired and society falls and we all have to move into the woods. Just. Like. He. Wants. Remember his society is cancer video? WAKE UP PEOPLE. no like actually wake up

[@izzybebusy]

Wow 😮

[@nathang9034]

Chad Timberman nah it’s actually probably time zones and shit. He posts based on his viewership, so I would assume most of his viewership is European. Also, unlike many other asmrtists, he has another job and a wife and child to take care of. So he posts whenever he can

[@Waveslayer123]

Hi Hi don’t assume..it makes an ass out of u and me

[@holdentudiks7123]

i agree. we really need to look into this. Rift may be in league with the illuminati, the atheists and i have it on good authority he has a wife and son making him a high ranking officer with the heterosexuals. this isnt about tingles anymore

[@aespyro]

Chad Timberman maybe he's just an average human male. or maybe I've been brainwashed to think that. who knows besides the man himself, Oobi Juan Kennoli.

[@RhyperiorRanger]

The ASMR side of KZbin is a pathway to many tingles some consider unnatural

[@kumakun17]

Somewhere George Lucas is sneezing into a hundred dollar bill yelling "Fuck it, it's ALL canon!"

[@SplendidEcho]

kumakun17 😂😂 honestly comment of the year

[@davidlape6273]

The tingles are strong with this one.

[@SuperTunnelBoy]

I was really hoping you would make a Jedi video Like an Old Ben roleplay, looks like my wish has been granted

[@ZeeTheFreeman]

Just wait until May 4th comes around

[@morgangobin9985]

Now borrow your son’s Darth Vader mask and do a “Relax with the Dark Side” video.

[@yng_Lakey]

Morgan Gobin lmao it’s the other way around, darth Vader is Luke’s father

[@aaronchang5664]

@@yng_Lakey He was referring to Ephemeral himself

[@GuyWithBadHair]

Yeah, "his son's"... 😏

[@darthvader8850]

He won’t have my helmet, not yet

[@JanneSala]

Wow, Luke, you got a little too deep into that whole "kissed my sister" bit...

[@DemonMj]

*I specifically applied to be a Sith Lord*

[@Rateltong]

Maloch Then be my apprentice.

[@damobeck1]

Darth Maul yes, my master!

[@yng_Lakey]

Rule of two I’m afraid, try again later

[@barackyobama6435]

Darth Maul fake sith

[@thatpunkcatte]

@@yng_Lakey Rule of two sucks, long live the Galactic Sith Empire.

[@dreamhunterasmr4850]

May the Tingles be with you 👍

[@GodToaster]

lol

[@alialekberov4001]

Dream Hunter ASMR keep up good work Dream hunter!

[@memetrashofpussyxd9565]

yes you too and i am a joker jedi lol XD

[@dreamhunterasmr4850]

Ali Alekberov thank you i will try my best 😃

[@dreamhunterasmr4850]

Hannah Kennedy and u ✌️

[@sleepy-Arc]

You telling me this isn’t one of the greybeards calling for the dragonborn

[@marysummer08]

"Inbred Jedis tearin up Tattooine" haha love it🤣🤣🤣

[@BusyBASMR]

So when is the theater release date?

[@vulkanxl]

How can Rift have such smooth movements..... He has ultra instinct..... I mean seriously...... Look at his eyes.....

[@anselmtheweird0]

Vulkan XL I can't! His beard is sooo obnoxiusly striking!

[@vulkanxl]

Mr. AnselmTheWeird0 the eyes are pretty obvious in this one kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIinoZusgMZ_bdk

[@TomTom-fs7hx]

I wonder if the majority or a minority of Rift fans get this comment...

[@vulkanxl]

Bagel Boy Tbh ultra instinct is basically a meme now, so I'm pretty sure a few non-dragon ball fans will get it.

[@neotanuki5915]

Instead of hair showing power, now it's his beard!

[@AFRODUCK98]

If he blesses us with a Skyrim video 😍😍.

[@Thebossgods2]

AFRODUCK98 I agree he should be like an asmr shop keeper

[@AFRODUCK98]

Thebossgods2 "Kahjit has many wears" 😂😂

[@Dylsavvy]

He already looks like one of the graybeards!

[@Thebossgods2]

Dylan Savage ah yesss Skyrim greybeard asmr

[@TheSnKoh]

Thebossgods2 too predictable, maybe hroldin, ysgrammor, or he'll that blind bandit. But nah not a greybeard

[@ryanshuparsky5711]

This explains why you grew out your beard.

[@dom_o]

I barely woke up (it's 7 in the morning) and you're already trying to put me to sleep

[@valendrien6517]

I think it'd be cool if you did a Gandalf the Grey roleplay

[@paracelsus9510]

When I was 15 I had a dream I was in Star Wars I had a fever - the dream I had haunts my creative brain and I think getting it out here will do something to the creative consciousness because I don't think it came from mine. I was a Jedi bounty hunter, a secret service afforded only to the most wealthy . I charted a transport to a desolate plateau ridden world and found a covert camp on top of a mountain plateau that looked like the devils table. There was a campfire and as I approached a Jedi turned an ignited his blue saber . I edged closer and ignited a white one. As we went to engage he stopped and said " I am weak and you will surely win, sit with me for a moment so that the truth will not die with me " So we sat and he told me " my name was anakin skywalker , when I discovered a plot in the Jedi order led by the sith I was framed for the death of mace windu , mace windu killed my wife and kidnapped my children " I interjected " Jedi aren't allowed to marry " He retorts " I resigned and joined the republic army, I'm not a Jedi" He removed his cloak and showed me his many injuries " I gave the republic my body fighting the Jedi conspiracy during the clone wars " I felt confused " they say you killed younglings, they say you're Vader " "Lies- Vader was my call sign , palpatine and I tried to warn the Galaxy we tried to make an empire but we played right into their hands ." "Whose hands ?" "The true sith, who rule us all from beyond the edge of the galaxy - palpatine, windu, that golem you know as Vader , They are just puppets ." " there are only ever two, a master and an apprentice " " in the galaxy, visible, yes...only two . You don't see the inquisitor wearing your friend's face. You don't see the sorcerer in the robes of the wise old Jedi... even you do not realize you are their agent " "I will tell them you died, I will tell them I found your bones...if what you say is true you deserve your revenge , if what you say is a lie, living is more of a punishment then anything." And as I turned to leave him there, 3 red skinned sith de cloaked behind me, one of them stabbed me through the gut and as I fell I watched the real anakin skywalker kick some fucking ass . He didn't even touch a light saber he used his mind to do it and he rage Force punched right through the back of a sith and a little lightning shot out too. I was dying and he came over to me and grabbed me up " what is your name? I will remember it..." And I woke up my fever broke . Anyways 15 years later that dream doesn't fade . I love Star Wars and I still wish for a real lightsaber when I blow out my candles .

[@alanrobinson563]

Paracelsus Are you sure this was a dream and not just some fan-fiction you wrote?

[@illlilll6848]

Ok

[@sirerinkiestink4103]

Alan Robinson yep

[@shermgerm950]

Ok

[@paracelsus9510]

Alan Robinson no I was reading the dark horse comics I got food contamination and almost died a few times over the course of 48 hrs. My large intestine shut down and I had a stricture that thankfully resolved . Maybe it's fan fiction but I didn't consciously write it . Obsessed with madalorians and the deep lore, im not ashamed . As I was laying there watching this thinking about it I figured I'd write it out

[@benzinc582]

Crazy how ephemeral rift can make a Star Wars parody better than any single one of the sequel movies.

[@s.storumus8620]

Ephemeral Rift, always that one guy at D&D who takes his role playing too seriously

[@toastyshortz4520]

The “better than...” comments are strong with this one

[@coltondaddario8282]

EzLk 18 literally on my screen there's one right below this commeny

[@RoninTheShogun]

The amount of working in these videos are insane you deserve more subs for real!!!

[@corvo1776]

I feel like he's been growing out that beard all this time just to do this one video

[@s.storumus8620]

It’s so dense... every single whisper has so many things going on

[@CrateUniverse]

You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the tingles, not join them!!!!

[@jmelara324]

keep On Drumming From my point of view the Jedi tingles are evil.

[@sirerinkiestink4103]

But we will have peace in the new tinglepire

[@CrateUniverse]

it's over anakin... I have the tingle ground.

[@Kraanox]

but what about the tingle attack on the wookies?

[@Flight-wo6jn]

J M WELL THEN YOU ARE LOST!!!

[@Ralph_Wiggum]

Star Wars; Return of the tingles?

[@sirerinkiestink4103]

Ralph Wiggum in a galaxy far away the Anti-Tinglepire is creating the Crinkle Star

[@MrSexything3000]

Were The Tingles Ever Gone In The First Place..?

[@bernie9901]

Star Wars The Tingles Strike Back

[@raichem]

Ralph Wiggum how do I see you on every fucking KZbin video!?!?

[@hatz1107]

Raichem Z That's nothing. There's an SFM Spookwagen Profile picture guy "Stickmaster" I think. He's everywhere, literally, everywhere. He's probably listening to this very conversation

[@jivancavaci5003]

this us wat d beard was for

[@LunarEdge7]

4:00 Ah yes, the basic combination of tingle forces, soft hand motions and crispy munching... Like a nice, crispy tender chicken... Why yes, I do believe I am hungry.

[@Astropauly]

May the rift be with you... or as i like to say Cu’lthh duc’th cathulu daavlu yolth Or something like that

[@graysonperdue9402]

paul lopez what did you say about my mother

[@chicnflopper6460]

Burger Link something about wanting her tongue Innsmouth

[@inflatablemattress2]

I'll yolth you bitch

[@alexreese614]

"Master, when are we going to train?" "Let's cut to the chase, I fell in love with my sister."

[@everythingasmrrelaxation889]

You put an incredible amount of work in every day, and you deserve everything positive that you get!

[@ajgraves3596]

Me: *sitting in class drenched in sweat and shaking as though I'm having a stroke having not studied at all for the midterm exam just placed on my desk* Midterm: 27:37

[@missionofsin3360]

"Yoda was an acrobat in the Galactic Circus and got noticed by the Jedi from a TV Show" is now officially Canon in my brain, and honestly, I love that.

[@acrazysheepdog1555]

The Tinglepublic, will be reorganized...into the FIRST, GALACTIC, TINGLEPIRE! For a safe, and secure...ASMR community.” *ASMR community cheers and applauds as liberty dies*

[@altimamantoidvods5392]

Not sure how it would work but I'd like to see some sort of ASMR skit pertaining to "The Princess Bride" ... it was my favorite movie growing up as a kid and I think it might be something you could work with, given the fantasy nature of it.

[@GustavSvanberg]

”I kissed my sister and it felt good” Every meme person ever SWEET HOME ALABAMA

[@seamusdoyle4884]

Damn, you are awesome. You could be an amazing Luke Skywalker.

[@rohitkandala9722]

This uploaded in the daytime for me here but I just listened to it because it’s hilarious besides never to late or early to have tingles

[@inflatablemattress2]

I KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT. THANK YOU RIFT

[@samfrenzied]

This is amazing! Too perfect. Thank you Ephemeral Riftwalker.

[@Formedfromdust93]

Practically every sentence had me wheezing. Thank you.

[@casperplaysgames_9459]

I know I cant be the only one waiting for a light saber building video. I think uncle E would do so good acting as a jedi master. Just imagine it: He guides you in picking your kyber crystal, showing us the materials, and then finally constructing a saber. Maybe it's just me, but I'd pay to see that!

[@kadenielsen210]

Been around since 20k, so great to see where this channel has come. Great stuff! I really loved your “How to Play Chess” video, but your microphone quality has improved a ton since then. Hopefully we can get a short remaster video or something like that? Thanks and keep up the amazing work!

[@popegoodvibes6360]

The master shows intense determination and restraint by only eating one chip. As a mere apprentice i eat the whole bag every damn time

[@dfunky4998]

The effort and comedy in your videos have skyrocketed! Keep up the good work!

[@Pokechao]

I saw the familiar blue text before the title screen and I was expecting my ears to suddenly get blasted with the star wars theme

[@gearswar3671]

The intro alone killed me. Just "Right now on this youtube channel"

[@eternalbrogamer]

Great profile picture my friend

[@manosioan]

May the Rift be with you...Always

[@wanzet11]

Star Wars 4k edition

[@chazmorris9240]

I woke up and saw this and thought to myself, oh it's ON !! ASMR star wars to go back to sleep !! ER never ceases to surprise !!

[@raichem]

He posted this as soon as I got a headache. Thanks for the cure that even Advil wouldn’t help find.

[@cakenshake]

A Mandalorian knight role play of some kind would be pretty cool in my opinion. He talks to us like we are a bounty he managed to catch and put into the hold of their ship; and he talks about the things he had to do to catch us, the fights, the chases, the coercion. Meanwhile he gives things like gun tapping, feeds bowls of rice, fiddles with our chains and taps knives near our ears. He gives us a little bit of a look into his career a his view on what ever era he so happens to be in, and there in how he views the events transpiring about him with a somewhat cynical shroud hiding his frustrations or something. We then learn that we are force sensitive and that is why he fought so hard to get us, he being hired to get to us by some strange force user. He then tells us of his envy towards the power of the force and how different things would have been had he been force sensitive too. By the end of it we actually become somewhat friendly with the knight and he undoes our binds somewhat, by the end it cuts to black, with the sounds of the ships engines echoing (a fan or something to give us the illusion) and then it ends with mechanical sounds like the hold doors opening and a greeting from this mysterious force user..

[@miarose8798]

3:52 *slowly brings up chip* So..... You gonna share or?....

[@seb9stian]

Rift is easily the best KZbinr of all time

[@pandorasflame7742]

Herr’s is literally THE BEST chip brand I’ve ever had. Their chips legit taste like what the packaging says it tastes like and I have massive amounts of respect for them, especially because nobody delivers like they do. I’m still addicted to their sweet corn flavor chips...

[@richarde.skywalker1977]

I feel like the beginning music is from Skyrim... I may be wrong, but I like the way how it sounds. Great video though! 💙🙌🏻 Edit: I wonder if there will ever be a part 2 to see if the Jedi Apprentice has the capability to make the pizza appear inside of the box now. 😅

[@Pokechao]

"I just can't imagine the Millinieum Falcon without Han" MMMMMMMMMMMMPH OOOOOOOOOOF

[@Meathamski]

Hey man, you are a great L:uke Skywalker. I was having a hard time and then i came across your video and I found inner peace. Thank you.

[@Ashalia_]

I haven't even watched this yet and i know its going to be what i fall asleep to every night for the next week!

[@TheeBiPolarBear]

Remember his Yoda role play

[@jeffbonnett7803]

Dude I could seriously just listen to that audio intro for an hour and be relaxed as fuhhhh lol

[@truth7777seeker]

It actually felt like reaching into my mind due to the tingles induced by bubbly water + hand motions

[@channelsoup]

HOW AM I LATE FOR THIS?! Better watch it on a loop for three days to make up for lost time

[@atgaming3785]

Do another alien one please one where your like an synthetic from alien or David or walter from covenant aka the new alien

[@itsmaul6693]

this video is AMAZING!!!!! Amazing job Rift. You really have outdone yourself!

[@vulcanhumor]

"And my dad...what a dick." I was almost asleep, man. Why you gotta make me laugh like that?

[@ShufflinDave]

I love hearing you say wooder like a Philadelphian. It makes me feel at home ❤️

[@CptArg]

When an ASMR video is better than the last episode you know you gonna get some tingles 😂

[@demon5475]

your asmr videos are so lit i’m feeling the tingles even though im deaf

[@thomascarroll9301]

ah yes my favorite chip is definitely sour cream and on-i-yon

[@CJPooz]

“Be mindful of your tingles, my young Asmrist.” -Qui Gon Rift

[@saulmoses8698]

Haven't played skyrim in 5 years but he looks like the old men at high hrothgar (Forgot the name)

[@youtubeaccount4111]

You are looking for the Greybeards and I agree (maybe with a slight hint of Thalmor? eh) XD

[@saulmoses8698]

Yup the greybeards

[@FourNamesFourEyes]

I'm suprised you remembered the name of the location rather than the most generic name for "wise old guys eith big grey beards."

[@shumeister1059]

Darth Vader has the perfect ASMR breathing sounds. Though it be hard to feel relaxing for some reasons.

[@megamanturbo32]

I was on the edge when he started talking about inbred Jedi but once he said the words: "my dad...what a dick." I friggen lost it

[@atreyutaylor5412]

Thank god someone intervened! Inbred jedis tearing up tattooine 🤣

[@usaussie81]

I'm a Mary Sue Disney Jedi, so I didn't need any of this training.

[@RobertCookdarkarts]

Havn't even watched it yet, I will tonight but I already looked it and saved it cause it's ephermal and star wars, definitely going to be good.. Now we just need a Harry Potter ASMR video

[@adam3168]

C.P.L. Chronicles LOTR as well

[@n2theluz1]

C.P.L. Chronicles well he did the knute case one which was technically in the Fantastic Beasts universe

[@RobertEHouse]

I've seen so many of his videos how did this one evade me for so long

[@DoctorSess]

Ten minutes in and I’m already more invested in this than the new trilogy...

[@y8nb]

Luke Skywalker, is that you?

[@Sammy-dz2hk]

M 1 naaah he qui gon gin

[@voidsteppersell5594]

name of the song at the beginning? great vid!

[@almostawalrus9970]

“Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Corvus The Wise?” “No.” “I thought not. It’s not a story The Professor would tell you.”

[@unshakensalsa6220]

Rift: There's a disturbance within you. Me: You are correct, I believe the tinglechlorians are calling me.

[@-NeonLizard-]

A Lord of the Rings one with ER as Gandalf would be superb. He's getting the beard for it. :P

[@RangerSpecForDelta]

"Let me lift up my hood and see you with my own eyes" - This seems reminiscent of the line from Niander Wallace of Blade Runner 2049.

[@MegaDerpsMC]

what about the ASMR attack on my tingles??!

[@jeffbonnett7803]

Fuck yes E.R. you're the best man! Huge fan of yours and Star Wars

[@chrisgray3249]

Sith apprentice next please

[@Williamsanson]

“Your early” me seeing this video came out 2 years ago and I’m still commenting on it

[@crissskywalker6115]

14:28 Ephemeral knew before us all where the world would end up in 2 years.. I sense a plot to destroy the jedi

[@hamosac7588]

I've got a good feeling about this.