The Kitzlenmelkers

[@radicaladz]

"Ah yes, laughter, the coward's response to oblivion" is such a Tal ad-lib.

[@amadeus5889]

The eldritch being momentarily became mildly annoyed.

[@harrisonmcarthur7816]

I am SO using that line!

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@harrisonmcarthur7816 Same!

[@SirPumpkinKnight]

I finally found what I want on my tombstone.

[@afilthyweeb8684]

It's a very Raymond Holt line

[@pietstreet8311]

German here: "...but natülich, jaaaa...." from Liam gets me every time.

[@INDAREVISH]

What does it mean?

[@catpuccino3842]

@@INDAREVISH but naturally, yes.

[@Vivi.Belial]

@@INDAREVISH More of a "Of course, yes"Natürlich means something like sure, of course, if you say so.

[@BENnPAPER]

I miss his Caleb so much =D

[@Failed_Vestige_of_Exandria]

​@@Vivi.Belial "Naturally" somewhat conveys the same meaning. Both "Of course" and "Naturally" can convey that something is self-evident.

[@necasperaterent29386]

As a German, I can confirm that all is dust and happiness is but a fleeting distraction from the inevitable entropy that will consume us all. Gute Nacht.

[@Lark1610]

Danke schön, I needed that confirmation. Gute Nacht!

[@oldfrend]

i think of them as german nihilists, but that's really just being redundant isn't it?

[@CorvoThan]

Nun kann ich in ruhe schlafen/ now i can sleep better

[@ironcellgamer8174]

Is everthing alright over there?

[@CorvoThan]

@@oldfrend is water wet?

[@dawnfyre3337]

As a German, the pretentious nihilist is definitely my favorite cliche produced about us.

[@yggdra1477]

As another German I have never encountered that stereotype before, which makes it even more hilarious to me.

[@dawnfyre3337]

@yggdra1477 I think it originates with The Big Lebowski (as well as Kraftwerk and techno culture)

[@Spider-Man_234]

@dawnfyre3337 also the guy who codified nihilism, fredeirich nietzche, was a pretentious german.

[@michelepella2768]

2:16 "but the gods laugh" "ₕₐₕₐ"

[@Star_on_a_Staff]

I'm Laura losing her shit beside them

[@hotfrenchbread7059]

I love Travis quietly losing his shit in the corner during these ads

[@zlatan_2197]

He's definitely losing it, but to be honest he's anything but quiet 😂

[@JulianCommodus]

"Quietly?"

[@FoggyMemoryProductions]

Taliesin Jaffe is always in one of 2 directions of laughter. Either he will maintain a stone wall composure that not even the most divine weapons can pierce. Or he will burst a laugh so long and so loud that the heavens and beyond will hear it for the remainder of their seemingly immortal lives.

[@OnlyRoke]

As a German, I can guarantee you that this is nothing like us. We do not condone invisibility.

[@SomeGuyFromAustria]

They might be teleporting, who knows really 🤔

[@djokealtena2538]

​@@SomeGuyFromAustria Have zhey the authorization and proper license to perform such acts of blatant disrespect to zhe here and now.

[@rollercoasterdude96]

Ja, we are perceived und we deal with it.

[@Fritz-co4pb]

They did not have the unsichtbarkeitsstundenmaximumnutzgenigung

[@sabrinaspurzem1672]

@Fritz-co4pb *Unsichtbarkeitsstundenmaximumnutzgenehmigung We Germans place much value on proper orthography ;P

[@torrent6181]

“Such an arrangement did not exist in the 1400s but natürlich, jaaaa” is the funniest thing for some reason 😂

[@alexstory1741]

@1:25👍

[@DenaraLK]

Because we Germans are Klugscheißer 😂

[@thepanpiper7715]

@@DenaraLK”I wouldn’t want to be the one who has to clean all that up…”

[@acihtanhill548]

It's amazing how shades and black clothes can make them look so Zemnian

[@trixus4768]

The absolute peak of Düsseldorf fashion😂😂😂

[@thepanpiper7715]

@@trixus4768I was told Berlin? Or maybe I’m confusing that with techno music.

[@trixus4768]

@@thepanpiper7715 no no. Düsseldorf fashion is kind of a meme here in Europe (well, just Czechia, actually). I just forgot that there are many people here that have no chance of getting that reference😂

[@thepanpiper7715]

@@trixus4768 I see! I have to admit as an untraveled Brit most of my knowledge RE modern Germany comes from the curated KZbin compilations of German TikTok. It *sounds* like a waste of time, but it’s really opened my eyes to just how many things you can use to open bottles.

[@trixus4768]

@@thepanpiper7715 Bottle opener for opening a bottle Knife for opening a bottle Boot heels for opening a bottle Teeth for opening a bottle Bench plank for opening a bottle... Oh yeah, in many aspects, Czechia and Germany are very similar😂😂😂

[@savingpyro]

"Man makes plans, Marisha, but the gods laugh." "Mapht."🤣🤣🤣

[@sarabreugelmans4859]

The "hallo, kinder" really sent me 🤣🤣

[@Tahkaullus01]

So good to see German Liam and Zemnian Percy again.

[@freybier2262]

Liam really needs to convince them to do a live show in Germany. 😃Mehr Kitzlenmelkers braucht das Land.

[@himmelsdemon]

Nothing could physically stop me from going if they did a show here

[@peta1277]

A dream would come true if they would come to Germany and would do an crossover with our actual play gruop "Dice Actors". Most of the members work on the German Dub of Vox Machima 😀

[@cherry-wav3]

I wish they würden!

[@CirceAlida]

@@peta1277 That's so cool!!!

[@teufel8647]

I'd love a show here but most times, people only do shows in Berlin. That's a 8 hour train ride from South Bavaria, easily doable but hard to convince my wife lol

[@Mistowgan]

*Slams Table* "NEIN!" I jumped out my seat,

[@TheNekoSora]

somebody has to make it a CR GIF for the chat

[@r.f.switch5847]

Art dad just became art Daddy for a hot minute...

[@TheNakedNinja48]

Ashley keeping a straight face was an impossible task lmao

[@norandomnumbers]

Perfect casting for the role!

[@pabloc8808]

Well they did say she was more lighthearted. Besides, she's from Denmark, they're from Germany. You can't expect the same level of nihilism from her.

[@Fallub]

Taliesin killed it completely. What a performance.

[@alecchristiaen4856]

"It's German humour; it's no laughing matter." -ZF Gambit

[@thblckprdsdd]

Am I seeing a dang bullshittery reference in a critrole video? What a time to be alive!

[@ZachSawyer2077]

🤣

[@MrImastinker]

Poor Ashley. Couldn’t make it half a minute before she broke 🤣

[@Drakoni23]

German speaker here, love this bit! I frequently use a gif of that "Gute Nacht" moment.For some reason Ashley almost sounds Austrian to me xD

[@riggedtroxaa8675]

i always smirk when they say gute nackt instead of gute nacht

[@majorfallacy5926]

Is she from the south of the US? That would check out

[@Drakoni23]

@@majorfallacy5926 How do you mean?

[@CorvusCorone68]

@@Drakoni23 Austria is south of Germany

[@Drakoni23]

@@CorvusCorone68 Oh now I get it. I'm swiss, so I always see it as being more eastern than south :D

[@ellemars1817]

@00:25 Liam fighting for his life trying to stay in character if Taliesen's tiny "Hallo"

[@Quadraxis]

I swear, if they don't do this duo for a oneshot at some point, it's a horrible case of lost potential.

[@DelusionalDunmer]

*trio*

[@abydosianchulac2]

​@@DelusionalDunmer Nah, I disagree. If they're bringing in ad characters for a one-shot, Ashley needs to bring in Gale against these two.

[@DelusionalDunmer]

@@abydosianchulac2 GAG ME WITH A SPOON KITZLENMELKERS!

[@GamerBadger82]

These characters but in Call of Cthulu :D

[@MrImastinker]

@@DelusionalDunmer *Why are these German dudes MAD GOOFIN all the time?*

[@JackAfterHours]

Love to all Germans, Austrians and Swiss in the comment section 🇩🇪🇦🇹🇨🇭

[@mariamelnitskaya4493]

And the Belgians!

[@matthiasstaber9216]

Kitzlenmelker could be used in Austria or Swiss to mean you are “milking little kittens” but as a noun… like that’s your job description “little kitten milker”

[@pietstreet8311]

i humble disagree. "Kitz" or "Kitzlein" means a newborn fawn (Bambi). A little Kitten would be a "Kätzlein". Isn't Zemnian a wonderful Language? 😁

[@matthiasstaber9216]

@@pietstreet8311you are 100% right... it is still a pretty crazy last name 😂

[@MorgorDre]

It could also mean tickle…. Tickle milker

[@93paddl]

It could also come from Kitzler, so clit milker XD

[@sentient.dumpling]

i thought it was like Kitzler...clit milker

[@cryptickitsune1876]

They nailed german humor... this ad-sketch is peak lol

[@lisah4205]

As a German from Frankfurt I can confirm that everyone here looks and talks like that

[@JackAfterHours]

I want to live there, but then again what is life if not a mere measurement of time, carelessly ticking away towards the oblivion

[@abydosianchulac2]

​@@JackAfterHours Our wants are mere mirages over the endless desert of our lives: hovering in front of us, leading us on over the uneven and ever shifting dunes, always just one step away till we collapse into final exhaustion. So no, not wanting anything in particular for Christmas, kids.

[@barbaragordon7381]

Germans unite over this solid representation of our lighthearted personalities

[@paybackntf4017]

The slamming the table with Nein kills me

[@kaytoomuchsalt5100]

I appreciate the spectrum of trying to stay in character that’s on display here: Taliesin is stone cold, Liam is fighting to keep a straight face and not laugh, and Ashley breaks within 30 seconds 😂

[@Obelisk492]

I love how you can hear Ashley laughing off-screen before she tries to roll up with a straight face

[@mrsirwesterwester]

Tal looks like an Indiana Jones villain

[@Forke13]

And Liam straight outta Bond Movies

[@drakedarkstar5422]

Ah, german Liam is bringing me back to days of "Avengers Assemble". And this particular german Liam gets me to the episode "The Sleeper Awakens". Watch it, people, it's amazing.

[@Mistowgan]

Good ole Red Skull Also let us not forget Caleb too!

[@JnEricsonx]

@@Mistowgan Nightcrawler.

[@Mistowgan]

@@JnEricsonx Ah forgot best boi nightcrawler.

[@guessweredointhis5486]

I really need a CR oneshot of 'Eat the Reich' with Liam DMing...

[@stingerjohnny9951]

Nazi bacon 🥓 With a side soured kraut 😜

[@Zardichard]

Germans hating fun games while being the arguably most important board game manufacturers in the world just makes sense somehow

[@sentient.dumpling]

we love regulated fun with lots of rules!

[@derekdokter4702]

Liam trying not to break 😂😂😂

[@HugoGojibiter]

I love how I saw the thumbnail and just knew they’d be German. Liams look is peak German

[@alecchristiaen4856]

5:25 When you're at a friend's house and the parents start fighting.

[@highlordakkarin6867]

As a German I have to say awesome, the best moment was: -Don't you guys ever play fun games pls? -NEIN!

[@dealinginfiction]

These two would make great shopkeepers for campaign 4

[@tigamaki1345]

1:50 - Can confirm, this is true of the Cambridge grasshopper. Logically I can only assume the rest is too

[@wingdingmasquerade]

Liam giving Crowley Core with that turtleneck and glasses Edit: and then came in Ashley as well, hot damn

[@ReyaitheShadowWolf]

"Alright, Mr. Burns, you win... but beware! We Germans are not all smiles und sunshine..."

[@ashbash_567]

"Ah, yes, laughter, the coward's response to oblivion" EXCUSE ME!? I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON!?

[@TheSleepyGrove]

They are well-known in Frankfurt. I can vouch for that.

[@Lancastrianer]

Dieser Kommentarbereich ist nun Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland. Very efficient and funny video. Just like the best german joke: "How many germans do you need to change a light bulb? ONE! Because we are efficient and dont have a sense of humor."

[@IAM_Mac_]

"We are Klaus !"

[@MrImastinker]

“Hi, I’m John…”

[@samuraiko]

So help me gods, if they ever do a live show in Germany, I am *PRAYING* that Sam gets these two to reprise these roles for the ad. This is still my all-time favorite ad bit in general (although I am partial to the one where Sam got Tal and Liam into hot pink sleeveless shirts and spiked collars, coz DAMN).

[@erbgorre]

and now, music by the group kraftwerk.

[@TheIdiotHimself42]

Part of me kinda wishes Liam would do his Red Skull voice but this is just as amazing XD

[@DonutHolestien]

Thank you, Jack After Hours. This was a great time.

[@piaramos2238]

Showed this to my German dnd friends ... could not continue our campaign for 1h because of laughter... yes, they are apparently able to laugh... Could we ask The Kitzlenmelkers about this phenomena?... also... is that a BTS Shirt?

[@enchantedcrane6328]

That sure is a bts shirt

[@timmichael9850]

Jezus this has to be in the list of the best bits. Well done CR

[@theonlychadman]

Absolutely swooning for Ashley’s accent 😂❤

[@patdlinkinparkqrl]

This might just be my favorite ad bit :D Ashley’s accent…oof lolol 😅 love her! obviously Liam’s is great, but Tal’s is pretty good too!

[@DreadPirateRobrt]

This feels like it will turn into an episode of Sprockets. "And now we shall dance!"

[@gollumandeowyn]

Best ad bit ever! 😂😂😂 Better than Nordverse. Better than the dndbeyond election. Better than every skit to come out of Sam's demented mind. I will die on this hill!

[@oldfrend]

debatable whether it's better than the hotdog bit, but that was almost certainly accidental.

[@persephonethereaper6938]

As always my comment is this “Ashley is precious and must be protected at all costs.” Edit: this is possibly her second best accent she’s ever done (you know after her New Yorker accent)

[@TheJerbol]

Gale is my favourite Ashley persona

[@DiabolicDistortion]

As a German, their German and their accent is on point 😂

[@stipfedart]

This is like an SNL bit

[@Reyn_Roadstorm]

Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

[@hithedragon7842]

It weirdly reminds me of the reality show intro skit, with the twins that are both John Mulaney

[@PaulRichards-w2s]

I need more of this.

[@DRKrust492]

The Kitzlenmelkers should do all the merch promos.

[@lowfpsman]

Love how Ashley just loosing her shit trying to deliver XDDDD

[@MsCunningLinguistic]

Ok but Ashley lowkey does sound like a Danish person who's been hanging out too much Germans 😂

[@Donky_Bonk]

this, gale, and the birth of laura and travis' child are the best ad reads that have ever come out of critical role honestly

[@Stranglehold138]

Bold move to call themselves the Clitmilkers.

[@vampirelogan]

I hope they give thanks to the character Deiter created by Mike Meyers on SNL as this is totally his schtick. "Pet my monkey!" "Ya, and now it is time, on schprockets, when we daance!"

[@sindex]

Me, frantically searching clock facts....

[@Dunybrook]

How did I miss this bit? Might be my favorite one so far.

[@canucklehead9250]

I love how in both reads there were a specific example of a word that Liam *really* thickened up 😂

[@thisismetravels]

I would love the Kitlzenmelkers to be SNL guests.

[@Tarv1]

also as monster truck fan of the 80s, love Robbie's Bigfoot 5 shirt

[@thomasbender2036]

When the sponsor ads are more memorable than the events in the campaign :)

[@DanRothwell-b4v]

“WERE NIHILISTS, LEBOWSKI!!”

[@DagotUrsa]

The perfect duo of German villains. I loved it.

[@genosseunge7089]

Kitzelmelker means Tickel Milker. lol

[@pietstreet8311]

Imho the name "Kitzlenmelker" is not really exact and leaves some room for interpretation. "Kitz" means "Fawn" leading to the meaning Fawn-milker, but the word "Kitzler" means "clit" which leads to the word ...... aaaand i show myself out. 🤦

[@genosseunge7089]

@@pietstreet8311 true but kitzeln, could just be an Infinitiv so it would be (to) tickle

[@void-creature]

​@@pietstreet8311 could also be derived from "Kätzlein", so "kitten milker"

[@pietstreet8311]

@@void-creature like i said - room for interpretation! Hallo Kinder! 🤣😂

[@evilstermegaman]

It could also come from Kitzler, so clit milker in that case.

[@135mikerules23]

When I didn’t see Laura I thought she was also going to do a German accent.

[@Rodshark75]

Their name translated means "Tickle Milker" in case anyone was interested.

[@IamtheLexx]

I love these so much XD

[@IrishRay2006]

But, natürlich, jaaaaaaaaaa ....

[@connermorrison1330]

Tal looking like the villain from Fifth Element 😂

[@samuraiko]

Tal-Batiste... Emmanuel... Zorg.

[@stargazinggalaxywolf]

How the actual FUCK are Liam and Talisen keeping a straight face; especially when you have a quartet of people facing you that are loosing it

[@sandythemaster6898]

5:23 me whenever someone asks if I like monday mornings

[@AceTheBraveIT]

They are amazing with the Zemnian accent!

[@NOTWxOUTCASTx]

My man Travis with the Zero Foxtrot shirt, hell yea

[@Likethesurfaceofaclock]

Love when spouses go in HARD for an aesthetic

[@Frostman411]

Had to look it up. "Tickle Milker" if anyone was wondering what the last name meant.

[@jabz1582]

They kinda sound like Neil Patrick Harris as the Toymaker doing a german accent in doctor who's special

[@hithedragon7842]

0:33 this is how I introduce all my interests to my friends

[@TheMultiForge]

I mean, Tal being an ancient Eldritch entity know the actual history of timekeeping?

[@TTHBLOX_]

As a Dutchman. This is exactly our neighbors

[@not2shabby]

Taliesin mentioning Ultima gives me life.

[@GödekeMichels_72]

Ah such light hearted banter. Next time book Bernd das Brot for a true exploration of the German soul.

[@riggedtroxaa8675]

I wouldn't be surprised if this gave them some voice acting roles

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

They went full Schprockets

[@Evan-pr3bf]

Diese Charakterisierung stimmt

[@KaiHouston-m6j]

Why so happy, and joking? Everything that lives starts dying as soon as it is born!

[@Xeerinare]

Guten nacht.

[@Another_Aussie]

German Humour: It's no laughing matter.

[@retu3510]

We germans have the expression "Tja". It means: Everything is going to die and only dust will remain.

[@sethierot7067]

As a German....i love it xD