The Laws of Love - (Live Talk)

www.drsuejohnson.com
We know what love is, why it matters, what it does for us, and what responses make or break our love relationships. This quiet revolution, has all happened in the last 20 years. But can love last? The evidence is that if you know how to do it, it can. Brain scans tell us that some long time lover's brains respond in the same way, with the same excitement as those of new lovers to pictures of their beloved. If you can reach out and hold onto each other as you face life's dragons together, every dragon you face makes the bond of trust and love between you stronger. We can have the loving lasting relationships we all long for. But only if we learn Love Sense.
We have solved the "mystery' called love and we can learn to shape it. This is the doorway into greater happiness, better mental and physical health, more secure, resilient and confident adults and more loving partnerships and families.

[@joannelabs3162]

So why doesn't this TED TALK have 10 million views?????

[@lougf3812]

Not new perhaps, but lost. We become convinced that the more independent we are the healthier we are. It is true that you need to stand on your own two feet, but you need not stand alone. We gain much in life from the loving and giving and receiving...it is what makes life precious and rich. But we often forget to make time for those who matter most and when we begin to shut down in our primary relationships it affects how we live in every other relationship. Connection matters, our need for it cannot be ignored. When we do that, we end up on a very lonely, depressing path that ultimately affects us negatively in every way.

[@brianhyde5900]

The common claim that 'Law is Love' is shown to be self-contradictory and logically absurd. Implicit in "law" is arbitrary regulation and arbitrary penalty for forfeiture. That's it; there's nothing more. Whereas, Love expressed, reveals creative principle and order; healing and restoration; emancipation and liberation. Love nullifies need for law. Law does nothing to heal, restore, emancipate or liberate. Law serves to condemn and imprison. In essence, Love is Life; Love is Spirit; Love is God.

[@paolapasca5627]

Dear Dr. Johnson, I'm a psychologist from Italy. I got so fascinated by your theory and therapy model that, if it were ok, I would like to translate this talk in order to be understood by the italian audience (oviously, indicating the original source and addressing to the website). I think what makes love and other parts of the psychic world unpredictable is, in the end, the psyche itself, or even better, the human will. However, I still think research gave and gives a huge contribution to help us know what happens behind the surface and behavior.

[@RebeccajorgensenPhD]

Understanding the laws of love, and the science of love is so important for relationship success. It's so exciting that we know how to help couples rebuild love and trust.

[@ItsSoarTime]

WHOA!!!!!!!! I JUST learned about this form of EFT while re-introducing myself to the other EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).....THANK YOU, LORD!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, ma'am/dr. for the video!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KZbin!

[@eptworks5847]

Dr. Sue Johnson is brilliant! I love this!

[@hightidesmrforever2themoon449]

I have no idea why this is making me cry, but it is.

[@zanvillekstein2719]

High Tides M & R Forever 2themoon&back It’s usually a sine that your missing lots of love.. sorry..

[@piyushsadhu601]

You are emotional

[@zada4a]

Thank you. We all need to live under the laws of Love in order to live in Heaven

[@JimThomasLMFT]

brilliant, concise and so helpful

[@sylvanabeaulieu8464]

This is life changing. Thanks for all your research that led to the most wonderful discovery ever!

[@miacheong9459]

Totally agree. What the world needs now, is LOVE

[@digital6string1]

Many thanks!

[@ryangano172]

A great intro to what love really is. Big fan!

[@nadiasanza7568]

L’amore è un codice di sopravvivenza ed ha a che fare con il sistema dell’Attaccamento, regola il nostro senso di sicurezza o di pericolo: il solo pensare al partner, alla persona amata, ci fa calmare, sentire sicuri, ci permette di produrre ossitocina e ciò scaccia via le paure. Il modo in cui noi amiamo è modellato sul tipo di legame che abbiamo avuto con la persona che si è presa cura di noi nell’infanzia. Da adulti tutti abbiamo bisogno di dipendere dagli altri o meglio di essere inter-dipendenti. L’amore è una connessione emotiva, sana e salutare. Noi stiamo meglio quando stiamo insieme: amare qualcuno, essere riamati ci rende più forti. Perdere la connessione emotiva con la persona più importante della nostra vita - il partner - ci fa cadere in una condizione psicologica di estrema fragilità, di paura e, a questo punto, spesso usiamo la rabbia (di protesta) per provare a ricostituire il legame perduto. L’essenza, il senso dell’amore è la connessione emotiva, la capacità di sintonizzarsi con il partner a livello emotivo: una relazione d’amore sicura, sana, forte tra due persone è quando riusciamo a raggiungerci emotivamente ed a rispondere ai segnali dell’altro, ad avvicinarci l’un l’altro, a mantenere la connessione reciproca ed a riparare gli inevitabili momenti di disconnessione; l’amore che funziona somiglia ad una danza reciproca, fatta di momenti di connessione ma anche di perdita della stessa, salvo che poi si riesca a recuperare i segnali dell’altro, a ristabilire la connessione emotiva e a riprendere la danza. La danza dell’amore non è poi così complicata. Il conflitto che intacca le relazioni di coppia ha a che fare con la disconnessione emotiva, con un senso di abbandono e di rifiuto, che deriva dal nostro profondo Bisogno di Attaccamento. Ci sono solo tre mosse, in questa danza, mosse altamente prevedibili e ripetutamente riscontrate in tutte le relazioni che sono affette da conflitti cronici e da sofferenza indicibile: sia a 50 che a 25 anni, quando perdiamo la connessione emotiva, abbiamo la tendenza naturale ed innata a RICERCARE DI RISTABILIRE LA CONNESSIONE ed a cercare l’altro, soprattutto se ciò ha funzionato nel nostro passato. Qualche volta cerchiamo l’altro in modo timido o quasi guardingo: “vorrei un caffè, ma solo se non sei impegnato!”. Ma se la connessione non si ristabilisce in questo modo costruttivo tutti tendiamo ad usare altre due strategie per affrontare la paura di non appartenere: PROTESTARE, diventando arrabbiati o esigenti (dicendo: “Non mi hai mai aiutato a fare il caffè!”), pretendendo una risposta e forzando l’altro… oppure, se nella relazione abbiamo sperimentato molte altre delusioni o dispiaceri, l’unica soluzione a quel punto sarà CHIUDERE FUORI LE EMOZIONI e dire: “Me ne vado a prendere un caffè, fuori!”. Questa è la danza della disconnessione: a turno i partner possono pretendere dall’altro una risposta emotiva, arrabbiati e delusi (ATTACCARE), oppure chiudersi e ritirarsi, delusi ed impotenti (FUGGIRE), per evitare di essere feriti ancora o addirittura per cercare di non pensare alle ferite ed ai pericoli corsi, in uno stato mentale quasi di dissociazione emotiva (numb). Entrambi stanno vivendo la stessa paura: quella del rifiuto e dell’abbandono.

[@ellenbrunning404]

So many thanks Dr.

[@josiahburkhardt2131]

Amazing!

[@junekvamme9862]

Thank-you Sue for helping us to understand the real power in a responsive loving bond. There is nothing like it. I just can't understand why this revolution is still somewhat quiet! Word is getting out but I can't help but wonder if the cosmetic and fashion industries don't want us to know this? After all, their sales are based on our longings and insecurities.

[@Loveandrelationshipcoach]

Marketing wants to increase our insecurities so we buy into they want us to buy. But finally what Dr Sue is sharing and others is starting to resonate. It will be a slow build - but it's building!

[@Loveandrelationshipcoach]

Marketing wants to increase our insecurities so we buy into they want us to buy. But finally what Dr Sue is sharing and others is starting to resonate. It will be a slow build - but it's building!

[@nadiasanza7568]

dear SUE, I 'll always miss you

[@paulinakostkowska6199]

Interesting:)

[@clonetropper08]

Interesting perspective on relationships and how they function. To me LOVE will never be an exact science.

[@BehzadEghtesad]

I'm Iranian living in california in last 10 years. Found my twin flame after 100s of dating, had lovely dovy times together. My mom's flight here to visit my familly 10 years ago, but just in 6 days she got heart stroke and stocked here on wheelchair( the reason i moved here to be her caregiver as she was for me from childhood) . 2018 elcamino hospital ( best in california as they said) give mistake medication to her & she got another bad stroke inside hospital and stopped eating and passed away!. Same time trump sanctioned i was loosing my company in Iran in bankruptcy way.. i was in hard grief & blaming everyone. My love got angry & move me in court. Her & my lawyer offered me 10 years Restraining order to stop court! I did't know whats happening & accepted, i was loosing my citizenship requested too! , as i love that girl in pure condition multiple i contacted her!,... she said behzad i need space for a year, i respect to her voice even i needed her more than she need me,... now 2 years passed, my suicide time passed, grief passed, jails,... i learn big thing: love in USA & Iran is like persian carpet and shuttle! Main parameter of of in the usa is sex! Main in Iranian philosophy is tolerance, Courts in iran never want separation because their law is base of Islam & in islam biggest crime is separation, but courts in USA attract separation because their base is capitalism.( judges / lawyers effecting separations more as making trilliins $$$ , over 3M RO each year issuing, 1.8 B lawyers in USA, over 3M prisoner, prisons are in stock market,.... and much more hoping i can write a book about it. Thanks for your infos & hoping people listen to it & its like & comments be million

[@BehzadEghtesad]

In bumble & tinder i has over 20000 online dating!! Mostly i asked ladies meaning of love! Just one person says good meaning like what The Supreme Gift by Paulo Coelho said. Please read it

[@brianhyde5900]

Law and punishment was against harmful behaviour. But law and punishment could not stop harmful behaviour. Serving the law was from "the flesh" and was impotent and weak through "the flesh". Thus law was "death". Love was from "the Spirit" and was potent and strong through the Spirit. Thus Love was "life". Law is against harm but it cannot stop harm. Love produces good and it stops harm. That's why those who are love need no law. 7Elly Bangaya, Hellevi Ojala and 5 others

[@worldwithoutwar8622]

In the book "The Soulmate Illusion" the thesis is put forward just as here . . . that adult love relationships have some basis in birth and early childhood bonding. In the womb and up to 2 years of age, the infant (the word means "no words) is non-verbal . . . so the messages are bodily, unlocated in language. That is, the infant does not root her experiences in language. Yet patterns are formed, and effect us for life. In "The Soul Mate Illusion" the nature of those patterns . . . certain qualities that go with them, are analysed. For instance, there is UNIQUENESS of the bond. The baby can differentiate mother's smell and voice from any other mother's (think of how well baby seals and baby penguins do this). This perfect bond is sought again in adult romantic love, with the expectation of such a simple uniqueness. But simple bonds based on a few parameters in young babies cannot be the whole story with adult love . . . precisely because, due to our complex development as individuals, our uniquenesses cannot fit each other perfectly. So we have to deal with the rough edges. At any rate, the book lists 7 qualities of the early mother-child relationship that create the illusion (or the need for it) of a perfect attachment, perfect bliss, a soulmate relationship.

[@twanmartin5773]

Who's the author of the Soulmate illusion?

[@worldwithoutwar8622]

@@twanmartin5773 Aron Gersh

[@twanmartin5773]

@@worldwithoutwar8622 I'm buying it. Thank you brother

[@worldwithoutwar8622]

@@twanmartin5773 Bless you, Brother. Not many people want to look at their unconscious processes . . .and these are subtle to see . . .always just a bit out of reach . .

[@malcolmx7691]

Facts

[@itsmentalhealthcomedyberli7649]

"If you are listening and you are a lizard, then this talk is not for you." lol

[@OperacionesEstalistacl]

Un spanish please