The Legendary Lost Wallet of Alan Harper | Two and a Half Men

“Keep the money.”
Season 4 Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
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[@ps6474]

The screeching sound and blowing off the dust of Cheapo Alan's wallet, LMAO!!

[@ps6474]

@@vivektammana8845 Well Charlie was being sarcastic, using a metaphor as in how Alan is so cheap, he's pretending his wallet is so old that it has never been opened so it screeches and is dusty.

[@mr-is2bf]

😂😂😂

[@theman1412]

3:40, “Saw 33” 🤣

[@seanwebb605]

Totally unbelievable. They'll get to 33 long before then.

[@theman1412]

@@seanwebb605 Well in 2006, there was Saw III. So it’s 2036 .😂😂😂

[@seanwebb605]

@@theman1412 They're due to make a bunch of Saw films in quick succession. Quick cuts. Everyone will say the Saw it in theatres when really they probably saw it on a screaming service.

[@invadernik]

idk how the fuck i never noticed that. Lol

[@356z]

It would have been great if they added furiosity of the fates fast xxx rated (m for mature of course) lol

[@anthonyvasquezactor]

Now THAT'S more like it! Always loved the future dream sequence, as it's how exactly how their future would have looked if Charlie hadn't died. Alan would age horribly and look even prunier and Charlie would have been a silver fox. And the casting of the adult Jake was so perfect. 😂

[@joelwillems4081]

I don't find it believable that adult Jake has a job, any job.

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

Yeah, Alan might judge Charlie all he wants but fact is he's rich, successful, has a lovely house and doesn't have crippling debt due to an abusive ex-wife.

[@chriskl2361]

Spoiler alert: Charlie didn't die. Though he was left with anger problems to solve.

[@anthonyvasquezactor]

@chriskl2361 He tried "Anger Management", but it didn't work. Jokes aside, I actually kinda liked that show.

[@chriskl2361]

@@anthonyvasquezactor Yeah, was a nice way to wean me off Two and a Half men and compared to the last seasons of T&1/2 it was better.

[@tyreebest1234]

"Keep the money." 😆

[@frostypizzaman1793]

Alan in this future sequence looks like old Biff from 'Back to the Future Part 2'.

[@GTAnativeInXboxAndPlayStation]

Charlie making those creaking noises on the wallet 😂 then blowing the dust 😅

[@XeroAnarian]

Really?

[@AsuntoTuyo]

Really?

[@docthemetalfreak]

the lost city of Atlantis would be found quicker than the missing wallet of Alan Harper

[@Dilipbehera007]

The 'Saw 33' poster was funny 😅

[@bilalrashad6636]

We'll probably get 33 Saw movies, they make them every year 😂

[@TheBrothergreen]

​@@bilalrashad6636 maybe, but they tend to get creative when they approach triple digits. Saw 2x4, saw primal uncut, saw ultimatum... Hydrosaw

[@TshiamoDre]

Alan takes stingy to the next level 🤣

[@AlenAlic]

The ‘Saw 33’ poster is brilliant. 😂

[@AdolphoPaiva]

The last alimony check Alan gave Judith had the value of $3,875.32. Considering alimony plus child support can't exceed 50% of a man's earnings, that means Alan had, at very least, another $3,875.32 laying around every month, and as such, he makes $46,503.84 a year, after taxes. Bump that number by 30% after Judith remarried. He lives off Charlie because he is cheap, not because he can't afford to pay for his own bagels...

[@Pajahro]

yes Sherlock we know, thats the whole joke, Charlie also knows this

[@betshala]

Seriously?😂

[@IslanderloverBKK]

I really hated it when Charlie wasn't in the show anymore. Nothing against AK as I like him too but not as a replacement for Charlie Harper.

[@alyemeni101]

Oh darn right

[@kylegoyak]

You're a bot

[@N-64pro]

​@@kylegoyak that's botist

[@reaves99]

​@@N-64pro lol thats robophobic!!

[@bananaboi9067]

I agree ashton is hilarious and a entertaining guy. But it did not feel the same as the dynamic between Charlie and Allan.

[@daveerk6573]

Alan is just a SLIME 😅😂🤣

[@claudio130]

That lady in the future! Pure fire!

[@chrisjackson1889]

3:58 why is no talking about this 😂

[@srinath6247]

She doesn't eat.... food.😂😂😂😂😂

[@ginomolina3]

I don't get it😅

[@williamshakemilk2192]

@@ginomolina3 c u m

[@williamshakemilk2192]

@@ginomolina3 and d i k

[@russellwestbrookyellingatw9381]

​@@ginomolina3she eats 🍆

[@AlexCS8]

@@ginomolina3 innocent mind

[@SirLangsalot]

Izabel Goulart is the Brasilian Bombshell.

[@maxmustermann3876]

Alan looks quite authentic

[@maxxymrice6200]

They actually had to paint on Jon Cryer's hair.

[@whoisyouranime]

3:11 This should have been the true ending to TAAHM at the final season.

[@918DEATH]

That Cybort and SAW 33 😂😂

[@RB-xj5zv]

A great series.

[@patrickswasey5301]

Got it right this time thumbnail guy.

[@razzeldazzel6301]

They always had stunning beautiful girls on this show.😍🥰

[@batmancollects4491]

Grown up Jake on the show looked so much different than this Jake lol

[@johnny1902]

I love that saw 33 poster in the background

[@jordanlash7890]

2:01 now I’m go light my cigar with a 100 2:24 bagel dog

[@Sairamms1403]

0:30 🤣🤣😂😂

[@97warlock]

reruns crack me up still, its like watching it for the first time almost

[@tuilmann97]

One of the best jokes Ive ever said was one time my uncle called me and my brother up to a restaurant where some after office drinks "got outta hand". To contextualize my uncle is one of the younger ones of his office and he is 53, my brother is 30 and I am 21... we don't know ANYONE from his workplace. So we arrive to see a full table of drunk lawyers loud af and that. "Sit with us" etc etc, some even saying "my niece is about your age" you get the visual, the kind of over friendly elder people get when drunk. So of course my brother and I made the most out of the situation, I ordered ravioli with lobster bruv, if I was there to eat by myself I would've ordered a focaccia and ONE can of Coke and pray the card doesn't decline... So they finally order the bill (about 9:45pm and they arrived since like around 4:00pm), everyone, my brother included, is in office attire, khaki chinos, button ups tucked in, leather shoes BUT me that I just went with my bro to watch precisely everything Im describing. Every single mf but my brother and me puts the card to split the bill, my uncle says "I get you that don't work but this mf is 30 already", my bro mimics getting the wallet from his pants and says "fuck man I left it in the car". ... I know you see it coming: Me to the whole table: "What are you Alan Harper or something". About seven 53+ year olds laughing at loud but LOUD man. My brother as well, I saved him I think joking out that weird situation. It was an stupid amount THE SPLIT, that is my life goal to be able to go to dinner with my work mates for hours because I can and watch how their designated driver roasts them in front of everyone... which in this case it was the brother of the designated driver roasting the designated driver in front of everyone... My bro has that same roast oriented sense of humor so its all good. PS: never got introduced to the "niece about your age" of that mf but yeah in case you are wondering.

[@jsutton0010]

they left out the best scene of Charlie finding the money.

[@Nainco07]

Saw 33 lol

[@alvy5547]

They skipped the funniest moment when Charlie responds to 'the Alan of the future" by saying: Do they have Alans in the future?" 😁

[@POPLSEV7]

Alan's the best🤣💯👍

[@TheFourNineThree]

😂🤣 he's actually the worst

[@Ray_D_Tutto]

Always wanted him to end up happy. His suffering is just difficult to watch.

[@Cantst10]

Is that it? Yep, thanks for waiting 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 every time man

[@user-sc5bs7lc4m]

Legendary wallet 😂😂

[@Jose-se9pu]

Alan Harper actually is "literally me"

[@owaisbinkhaliddar6000]

So that means I can always Count on you, Keep the Money😂😂😂... Money isn't a burden for him

[@NiVi192]

Ah, to be a delivery man at the door of Charlie Harper! ^^

[@Shiirow]

we all know that giant wad of cash is just a bunch of one dollar bills.

[@Thanos_Freakshow795]

3:12 - 4:12

[@mgwilliams1000]

We're still going to have Alan's in the future?

[@StarrPower2232]

Is it my imagination or does Future Jake look kinda like Chris Farley?

[@zachzitzow8306]

And act like

[@GTAnativeInXboxAndPlayStation]

That’s what I thought too but Chris has been dead since the ‘90s so that left my mind.

[@kozmokramer7398]

The thing is the snack costs 25$ nowadayss...

[@WorldsGreatestDetective88]

25 bucks for candy is very accurate future pricing

[@mr.l8723]

This is 100% Alan’s future if Charlie was still around

[@bad2dabohn1992]

So in 12 years 1 box of Milk Dudes is going to be 25$ ? Seems my theory will probably be correct lol

[@shihoblade]

I hope its ONLY 25$. I fear worse.

[@JacobPaul-ix7oc]

I don't know about Milk Duds, but I can tell you how much two small loaves of bread will cost in around 10 years. (Possibly less. It really depends on when Russia decides to nuke the US and end capitalism.) Revelation 6:1-6 1 I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!” 2 I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest. ---That would be the leader of Russia. The bow is symbolic of long range weapons used to defeat his enemies (ie: the "Satan 2", an MIRV equipped ICBM, the most powerful nuclear bomb ever created.) 3 When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” 4 Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make people kill each other. To him was given a large sword. 5 When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, “Come!” I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. 6 Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, “Two pounds of wheat for a day’s wages and six pound of barley for a day’s wages and do not damage the oil and the wine!” ---Two pounds of wheat is enough to make two small loaves of bread. It will cost an entire day's pay to purchase. You can call me Mr "Doom and Gloom" if you want, but I will give you an outline of what is coming to the US in the near future so you will know I am not being overly dramatic. Trump will return to the White House (either by "election" or coup de tat). There will be a revolutionary change of power in which Liberals are removed from positions of authority and influence in the MSM, media/entertainment, politics, academia, military and corporations as a means to combat Liberal Marxist ideologies and policies (Socialism/Communism). There will be a combination of the Salem Witch Hunt with McCarthy era policies with political and religious dissidents being killed, imprisoned or put into labor camps. I should also add here that anyone who worships Jesus as God will be labeled as a blasphemer and idolator, then given the death penalty (decap-tation) according to US Public Law One Zero Two dash One Four and the "Seven Laws of Noah" contained within it. Homosexuals will be rounded up and killed as sexually immoral degenerates. (Which will be easy enough to do since the government tricked them into exposing themselves willingly by promising entitlements, privileges, tolerance and "minority status". Add to that the Pride parades with cameras at every street corner, marriage documents and any online interactions identifying them as LGBTQ, and they will be found quite easily. I'm not condoning this, BTW, simply telling you what is coming.) Thousands of immigrants will be deported, killed or put into labor camps. Many will be labeled as terrorists, drug and human traffickers and threats to national security as well as a strain on the economy. The US will become the Fascist regime Liberals claimed it would be and do so under the guise of being for "God and Country". After the US has become fully Fascist, the leader of Russia will destroy the United States in a multi-pronged nuclear attack that will completely destroy the power of the United States. Each of the 12 major US cities with a Federal Reserve bank, along with Washington, DC, Pentagon and military bases will be completely annihilated in less than an hour. The nuclear attack will trigger earthquakes, of course, and the United States will be split down the middle when the Great Lakes spill down into the Mississippi River. A short time after the attack, Russia will advance from the northeast down into the United States, and China (who will be their short-term ally) will cross the Pacific (possibly also coming by land through Alaska and down through Canada) and take over what remains of the western US. One thing I should mention here is that the United States doesn't quite have a "separation of Church and State", and never did. The Roman Catholic Church has been in control of the United States from the very beginning, and has even chosen all of our "elected" Presidents for us. (And we never really separated from the UK, either.) All US Presidents Related to this One King? | SELECTED or ELECTED? | reallygraceful (KZbin) In a post-American revolution society, it would seem like the divine rights of kings would be a distant memory, but is the reality really so? Do certain bloodlines still hold power within our current government system? And if all US presidents are somehow united in blood, does that mean our leaders are really elected by the people? Or does that mean they’re selected by few? All of the US’s “elected” Presidents have been related to King John of England, descendant of Charlemagne. Only Gerald Ford, who was not “elected” into the Presidency, was not related to King John and Charlemagne. Charlemagne was crowned “Holy Roman Emperor” by Pope Leo III. Queen Elizabeth in the UK was (and King Charles is) also descended from Charlemagne. Yup, even DJT is descended from Charlemagne and King John. He is not the "savior" of the US the MAGA cultists think he is, he is God's judgment on us. The only way you will escape that judgement is by placing your faith in Jesus Christ, repent of your sins and live according to the will of God. This goes for Liberals and Conservatives.

[@kartikpandey1353]

"She doesn't eat...food" is like "I never drink...wine".

[@Tjd1982]

The most realistic thing was the box of $25 Milk Duds.

[@jimlong9938]

Saw 33 poster😂

[@Ofek_92]

Should have been Fast and Furious 55

[@AzguardMike]

2:40 is my friend when he found out I had a savings account that i never touch "dude! Spend it!!! People like you is whats wrong with the world. Dont save, SPEND!" Edit - timestamp

[@ninoortega7946]

Yeah, I know how charlie feels. 😊😊😂😂

[@jimpickensisourwayoflife2126]

It's like they are predicting that a "Saw 33" might actually exist in the future 😂😂

[@maxxymrice6200]

There's also the title card at the end where they are older like in his nightmare.

[@Tim_the_Enchanter]

The big box of Milk Duds costing $25 came sooner than anybody thought.

[@erickort1987]

older jake,hahahahaha

[@berlinerjung5304]

3:12 this shows EXACTLY how it would go

[@gavintrimble7100]

I don't know why he woke up terrified that looks like a great Future charlie being a good brother and nice to him

[@juniorlsdmusic]

Future Jake😂😂😂

[@a.j.savage1056]

top 5 show of all time

[@therizinosaurus214]

25 dollars for a box of milk duds.... wow they nailed the inflation

[@greysonua6948]

the old good day`s. I miss it...

[@Lokiproooo]

Mi serie favorita 😂😂😂😂😂

[@ianmangham4570]

How he got away with playing a straight guy 😅

[@thechosenone93]

Who?

[@patrickdornoff2735]

Jon Cryer who plays Alan he is straight​@@thechosenone93

[@76tennboy]

Bagel dog sounds really interesting

[@vijaybansod186]

This is about finding a wallet.

[@user-mp1tk3qy5l]

Alan is the best 👌🏼

[@seanwebb605]

Jake will be working at Hillsong Church.

[@alla7932]

Why do you say that

[@seanwebb605]

@@alla7932 Why not?

[@Comedy_Warfare]

I hope you guys are paying Charlie some backend on this, he needs rent money

[@Quayd_McMahon]

3:16 he did not change much

[@tatianavelasco1335]

Pizza served for Charlie's order

[@purplerebel9559]

3:11 to the end had me laughing hard.

[@jamesh2003]

Can understand Alan putting the money aside but could have dipped into it every now to pay for the odd meal instead of sponging off Charlie. 😂

[@EED19892010]

saw 33 is pretty funny

[@andrifennell4339]

Saw 33 WOW

[@user-ro4ci4nh6u]

0:31

[@alejandro9656]

Those prices don’t seem too far away now huh?

[@muhammadkhairulizat]

🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏

[@user-pz1ho2du9h]

❤❤😂😂😂😂.

[@babbarr77]

He was winning and now his life is over but he’s already dead he just hasn’t stopped moving.

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

3:51 Sad part is this version of Older Jake is actually more likeable in this two second clip than actual Jake is pretty much after he hit puberty in the show.

[@irawilliams343]

Saw 33? Why do I see this as some sort of Simpsons-like prediction?

[@seanwebb605]

Wait a second. I can accept Milk Duds being $25 that far in the future. They're really good. But the pizza was $22 back then? They seems like a little much. I can buy one in Canada for less before even factoring in the conversion. Plus Jon Cryer will probably be bald by then. I mean....

[@amanpretbasuita2725]

Why they continued this series without Sheen is beyond me.

[@gerry409]

She doesnt eat food 😎🍌,,,

[@pasmas3217]

People really forgetting Alan is paying 4k+ for Alimony to his Ex + child support for Jake, his books and clothes, insurance, etc His stingyness is the outcome of having his balls strangled for every penny he makes from Judy.

[@seanmakesthings]

Two and a Half Men going for a renaissance in 2024?

[@seangriffin2053]

I'm not absolving Judith. She was another basket case altogether. However, you really do start to understand that despite Alan's "good guy" persona, he really does take advantage of people. Charlie may not be the best brother for emotional support, but despite everything, Alan still was allowed to live there.

[@Echo30Mike]

My favourite part of the clip was the arse on Charlie date.

[@supersaiyan1606]

I always hated how cheap Alan was.... He stays at his brother's house NEVER pays rent nor helps with bills .. and can't even pay for a pizza. I especially hated the episode where Charlie borrowed 10 dollars from him and he would not get off Charlie's back to pay him back. I'd start charging his cheap ass rent after that

[@leeleee793]

Alan is so ick after Charlie does so much for him smh

[@ericnelson9100]

$24.50 Please!

[@rolltide9547]

Easy to see why women hate Alan.

[@LakkThereof]

you can tell this clip is a few years old because the total for delivery in California is $22.75

[@JohnL226]

Thats still pretty fucked up how they killed off Charlie just to pull kelso in. Allen's pretty much all alone.

[@TheSilentHamish]

Isn't Alan a Chiropractor?

[@jowolf2187]

Unfortunately, despite actually being the same age - the roles are kinda reversed in real life (Cryer looks younger).

[@ggangpae4520]

It's funny how Alan was saving a wad of cash for future alan when in our reality that wad of cash would become worthless because of inflation

[@thecommonsenseconservative5576]

I bet you comment a lot of dumb stuff like your unresearched videos lol

[@Lucas500ll]

Jon saved the show when Charlie chose drugs and Angus bailed, it wasn't his fault that the script was so bad and that the story took a ridiculous course, nothing but respect for that guy

[@thechosenone93]

So what saving did he do? He still continued the terrible script

[@olodiandrew219]

The moment Charlie left, the show died.

[@AngelIsland1988]

Who hates Alan?

[@barakarabolad2719]

Old allen looks like sleepy joe biden