The Lie We’ve Been Told About Having Friends

[@LanaBlakely]

The part about Louise and Andrew was a joke. Thanks for watching!

[@ATJ_8056]

Thank you for the joke Lana . I believed in it :) Anyways , great video I learnt from it being a 15 year old . And can you please record a guided meditation episode on your podcast ? Please !!

[@shaun_star8737]

😀

[@growthtogether2453]

😀

[@parmenides9036]

The bit about you not watching friends was a joke too I'm guessing😄

[@Siel-bm7gx]

Thanks for sharing your perspective on this topic.

[@RealJamieBarclay]

People watch those sitcoms because it helps them feel something we all crave. To be a part of a tight group of friends that are always there for eachother. In reality, this is not always the case, romantically or plantonicaly. Irl, the only person who is always there for you, is you.

[@Ahmad-tv4vy]

Great advertising for your content

[@nidhishasudheesh3791]

Exactly😂

[@arannah]

Exactly✋

[@johnsonjo8454]

@@arannah hi 💋

[@saradeen3984]

Yes😭 fr

[@Akta]

I completely agree, tv shows/movies have really affected our expectations of what friendships should look like. We've been led to believe that we will go through life keeping all of the friends we make, but sometimes friends simply drift especially after major life changes eg moving to a different city, getting married, going to university etc. I feel like we have overly high expectations for friendships that a lot of us feel like we have no friends, when in reality we probably do, they just don't meet our often unattainable expectations.

[@Fxye_]

Well said, I agree

[@katsbookshelf7322]

This was well said. What about expecting the other person to reach out first or initiate plans as you can't always be the one doing it.

[@LanaBlakely]

Yes totally!!

[@Siel-bm7gx]

Great points, I don't have the same friends I had when I was younger. People change, relationships change depending our life situation and friends we did have just become less involved in our life. All good friends I had took alot work from me. Good friendships are worth it.

[@Akta]

@@katsbookshelf7322 I agree friendships are a two way street, sometimes you also have to know when to let go and create space for people who are worth it

[@DemetriPanici]

I’ve had a hard time making and keeping friends throughout my life. But the thing is; as I’ve grown up I’ve learned more and more that friends come and go and that’s okay

[@arannah]

Yes although its hard to accept sometimes but thats the truth

[@maricelg777]

Yes

[@ladybird491]

Because there is no such thing, there is only spiritual family.

[@aishah2536]

Yes 100% same, I'm still learning to be okay with the fact that some ppl are meant to be in your life for a reason, season and a lifetime-its kinda frustrating when you feel like you put a lot of effort into a friendship and others just don't really seem to care

[@moonxx6700]

@@ladybird491 What does spiritual family mean ?

[@haleemahx]

Who else has 0 friends and is watching this like “ see, I’m RIGHT not to have any friends!” *cries into popcorn*

[@cherp5837]

🙋🏼‍♀️

[@lok6314]

lol. I abandon all my friends, or better said they are the ones who call me friend. My friends are those who fight the good fight, on all fronts there are fighters, one day we will cross paths, even if its just for a day. In that 1 day we will build each other up and remember again what the real goal is.. And the real goal is not to have many friends or to have many experiences or to have many lovers or to have a relationship or to have a family. The real goal is to become the version you are ought to become not in the eyes of society or humans, but in the eyes of what made you came to this world in the first place, but many will hide this identity so they can fit in with the rest... In the end you just end up with groups who all hide their true nature just to belong to a group. These are the souls that betrayed their own origin and therefore they betray also their future. These are the souls who roam the earth not knowing anymore why..because the very foundation of who they are and were they discarded it. They sold their soul to become human. And to become one they lost integrity,truth,discipline,morality,discernment. Because its not social accepted to be serious? Then fck social acceptance in the first place, world doesn't get better by ignoring facts and partying and having fun. Let the warriors inside all of us protect that what is worthy: Truth,Love,dignity,peace. All the rest is vanity and will lead to turmoil of the soul.

[@knightlight954]

🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️I have lots of over the years friends. I hang w none of them

[@lok6314]

@@knightlight954 says a lot...maybe we should get rid of labels like friend.. Like facebook you so called 5965 friends.. A real friend is 'someone who help you grow and help you with your goals.. All the rest is noise.. Facts

[@Swanilda_]

🙋‍♀️

[@glorprincesa]

Growing up watching sex and the city, I thought sharing with friends details about your relationship was a GOOD thing and how its "supposed to be". It is so toxic. Literally can destroy the bond you want to have with your partner. Love this video!

[@ahmedfawzy4035]

اللهم أغفر لنا ذنوبنا

[@anthonygato407]

thats some wisdom.

[@wertylasky2344]

how can that destroy your bond?

[@rogerm3708]

The reality is that sometimes the people that you think are your friends, are secretly your enemy. It took me a while understand that the best way to share is give someone insignificant morsels of info and see if they run with it.

[@kaiyodei]

oh good to know. here I think i'm messed up for not having a romantic relationship and people to "tell all" about that one.

[@natemarx4999]

"A friend to all is a friend to none."

[@atiqanaseer9729]

Swiftie?😍

[@raniahmontana]

Chase two girls, lose the one...

[@ivegotafeelinginmystomach3336]

@@raniahmontana when you are young they assume you know nothing…

[@cherp5837]

A friend to all is not a friend at all

[@atiqanaseer9729]

@@ivegotafeelinginmystomach3336 But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends, I

[@deveshmalhotra5]

Friends should know the difference between a joke and an insult…nowadays anything and everything is brushed off as a joke. There is a thing called self-respect.If you truly have respect for yourself.. you should immediately distance yourself from such people. Learn to respect the emotions of other people and learn to love yourself. :) :)

[@moonpi8020]

I did this and everyone wanted to hold me accountable for distancing myself from that girl like it was for no reason.

[@deveshmalhotra5]

@@moonpi8020 you don’t have to give explanations to everyone. Those who are close to you and really value you will understand and respect your move. In the end it’s always righteousness that triumphs. So if you are right ….just remain calm and don’t pay heed to such people.

[@lolicdia]

@@moonpi8020 same, I was called dramatic when I was getting bullied by my “friends”

[@nav5ft150]

@@lolicdia same dude

[@humairafatima4230]

Amazing 🔥

[@RealJamieBarclay]

When I was younger, I had many different groups of friends and people that I knew and I would act different around all of them. I would get really stressed out about them meeting eachother because I wouldn't know how to act. I realise now, by being friends with so many people, I was truly friends with none of them. I was playing a character. When you be authentically and unapologetically you, you will have less friends, but the ones you do have will be much more meaningful relationships.

[@atsuyak768]

I totally feel you. For me, what I struggle most is that for the most part, I feel isolated as I notice most people are not as self aware as I am or at the same level of depth. Most people don't think about these things and it feels it's lacking in substance or unfulfilling

[@5jwiqiojwio217]

this is me right now!

[@mintimin8707]

Used to struggle with that so much and still do it kind of

[@meronpat]

Gosh you put into words exactly what my life has always been! Always looking to decipher my true identity through my friends' perspective, but oddly enough none of the versions of me were the same so it was very confusing... We must strive to be our authentic selves and just let the right people come into our lives naturally~ (still working on that, it's hard!)

[@aistegmcmnokbnsjakniunaite5761]

If you act differently with different people it is just all natural, because you are a complex being and different people extract different parts from you.

[@elysianfields1671]

Movies and tv series are the furthest thing from reality. And still they shape people’s perception on how life should be.

[@thisisarif]

I watched sex education whole series from season 1,2,3 And now I feel why my life isn't like that... My school was not like that!!! Only pressure and pressure... These are all fake....

[@michaelbrinks8089]

Ever hear of social engineering by way of media manipulation? Most aren't aware they're being manipulated. Example, if media says "Orange Man Bad" over & over and tells lies about him.People automatically believe he's the bad guy.

[@x97s]

Its designed that way and we all fall for it

[@AlexandersAdventure]

I don't think that applies to all media

[@AhmetKaan]

*"Everything in life is easier when you don't concern yourself with what other people are doing."* The chances of you seeing this comment is pretty low, but if you did, *I hope you have an amazing day.* 🖤

[@Nabi-jo3qf]

I agree with you 👍

[@AhmetKaan]

@Cherish God 🙏🙏

[@AhmetKaan]

@@Nabi-jo3qf 🙏🙏

[@Siel-bm7gx]

Agree friend, it's a blessing when people let you in on what is going on in there lives. Friendship are great.

[@AdrienneMint]

Well, I saw your comment and it mattered to me. It was a very good comment.

[@slaterwoman9237]

Growing up, I always had one really good friend. And when our lives separated and grew apart, I always found a new really good friend after, and that's all you need. Quality over quantity :)

[@intentionalliving7326]

A really good friend is plenty indeed ☀️

[@illusionist1244]

reminds me of these two girls at school who only spoke to eachother

[@Siel-bm7gx]

Definitely, life is a journey. Friends come and go.

[@Iminoamino]

Same....for some weird reason I being an introvert always find one really good friend at each phase of my life. But unfortunately none of them continue to stick over a long long period like continue in different phase. Can anybody relate to that?

[@Ana-ty8sl]

@@Iminoamino Yes, you have summarized my friendships. I always had one good friend, but the friendship never lasts. I guess I only have energy to make one good friend at a time, but also have trouble keeping friends (any relationship is hard work) and I usually give up (said friend needs more out of the friendship) and my introverted self can’t give or the other person moves away or makes more interesting friend(s).

[@natasharose]

This was such a refreshing message to hear! No one talks about how maintaining an adult friend group is kind of a part time job in terms of the time and energy required. You’ve helped me come to terms with my introvert nature, and let go of the social conditioning that tells us a large social group = success. I like being a bit of a hermit hehe 🧙‍♀️

[@maggiemay7479]

I thought it was only me who found maintaining an adult friend group to be like a part time job! Thank you for saying that 😅

[@lolicdia]

Same, I’m choosing to prioritize my alone time more since I don’t want to be part of certain activities. ✨

[@anap1840]

It is especially difficult when those adult friends have moved into different stages of life such as getting married, having children or moving to another country... and then making new friends seems almost near impossible

[@bubeudeh]

:)

[@Kaybye555]

Totally understand. I feel bad when I hear people are selfish when they don't have many friends because of not wanting to spend so much time and energy on it. For me it's the opposite, I can't fathom jyst faking havubg energy and caring if i genuinely can't. I'd rather not feel conditioned in a relationship (friendship)

[@LevelUpYourLife]

Thank you for addressing this topic. I used to seek out friendships so much and I thought there was something wrong with me for not holding a tight group of girl friends. Over time I realized that it's okay not to have tons of friends, and over time I have actually felt a lot happier without the drama of having toxic friendships JUST to say that I have friends. Friends come and go, and you should not tolerate abuse.

[@garouuchiha4041]

Hi Claire!, Great to see you here.

[@LevelUpYourLife]

@what Hello my friend :) Thank you for your reply! Yes, youtube offers a great community!

[@LevelUpYourLife]

@@garouuchiha4041 Hi Vincent! thank you for your welcoming comment! ^_^

[@garouuchiha4041]

@@LevelUpYourLife Your welcome!,(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[@alextroy9202]

This is meeee

[@theDarkness558]

Full agree. We, as a society, are letting the fictional become the standard for how our relationship and life should work. I attribute this to the lack of a healthy socialization (with boundaries) and the increasing level of self-absorbsion.

[@alessandra18956]

These idealistic friendships make me always ask myself if my relationships are enough. I never realized that before. Great video!

[@Shadowhero43]

So its like what Disney has done with romance in a way? Noted. This is what i learned early this year: We love our friends but we have to take care of ourselves, Make an effort but dont lose sleep if it doesnt work out.

[@DoctorAzmain]

Great video Lana! This is why BoJack Horseman is one of my favourite shows - a show about anthropomorphic animals is MORE REAL about friendships and relationships than so many others. BoJack, a celebrity who does awful things and blames it on his upbringing, finally has to face the repercussions and breakdowns of relationships that his own actions have wrought upon him. And it also shows that some friendships and relationships aren’t meant to last but the self-growth gained through them are still worth it.

[@clarabrierre8776]

i was thinking about bojack horseman too, i find it doesnt need to do unrealistic things to be interesting and i really admire that

[@stefaniab4036]

Exactly! I immediately thought of bojack and todd

[@tutejshaja]

Thanks for a tip, sounds interesting

[@LongStar117]

That horse had everything and it still didnt make him happy.

[@sofiyasnoopyhearts]

thank you for posting this. (w// confession): I’ve been crying for a few days because I’m always their therapist friend who portray good + positive energy. when I’m busy with school/personal life and don’t have time to listen, I would be labeled as a bad friend :( all I want is an easygoing, happiness sharing, supportive & genuine friendship and not a trauma dump, love doctor or a therapist. it’s really draining and I tend to avoid from those situations by spending time alone which makes me also lose those friendships.

[@rahwa138]

Omg i am in the same situation where all my friends call me or meet up to unload their issue and i have always been a good listener. But if i start sharing something, i will be cut off and they will be like .... you are fine, you will be fine, you are strong etc... and that is pretty much it. I keep everything to myself and on time i got so fed up. I have avoided a lot of people now and just focusing on myself.

[@friimunya8488]

You described my life girl!!! I can relate to you so much. I’m always there for other people, I’m always listening to their problems and then when I’m the one who need support all I get it “oh I’m sorry” “everything will be fine”

[@indigo_diary]

Honestly everybody who's in your life should add value rather than deplete your energy

[@LA-lq1zf]

I can relate to your post, and when you give them that lift they just leave and or go back to their life without you. You used the correct word to how I felt Trauma Dump. This year I decided not to be that anymore and guess what, I have no friends but slowly I’ve been okay with it. I did cry a lot in the beginning and would wish I had someone to hug me and tell me it would be okay but I told myself just that. I think we will meet extraordinary people. It will be natural and we will feel that all of this pin was worth the loneliness for those new genuine friendships .

[@Iced_vanillaa]

those are not your friends, those sre emotional leeches. Labeling you as a bad friend is just a way for them to complain about how they can't get what they want from you. Value yourself first :)

[@DeerghKataria]

Most people have the expectations that are created by sitcoms or movies or what not. And I think people almost always forget that true friendship is so hard to find in real life.

[@intentionalliving7326]

True! Sometimes as we get clear of our direction in life, we tend to click with one or two people, who have the same direction and intentions.

[@maynardewm]

It would be interesting to have a show where the main character’s inner circle changes constantly like real life. Ironically, the one person in our lives where this is not supposed to happen with: our partner, often changes up more in TV shows than friends do. Queens Gambit actually did this pretty well, but it was only a miniseries. It would be nice to see this in a full show.

[@friimunya8488]

You made a really great point

[@sofitocyn100]

Wow true food for thoughts !!!!!!

[@petiteearthling4324]

soo true wow

[@nom_nom3448]

I agree that it’s rude to gossip with fiends about your boyfriend or family. But I think it is important to be able to talk about really personal stuff with a close person without gossiping about others. Sometimes we need advice or a reality check given by others. Or just someone to listen. :)

[@blushwithme111]

True , yeah well some one agrees with this , cause I really share them with 2 people who are very close to me , but when I saw this , i was confused as what iam doing was wrong . At the end he dumped me my frnds hve been telling me ,

[@satishravi194]

"Prioritizing your friends no matter what and expecting the same, But getting disappointed when they can't is more like codependency than a good friend". Its very hard to accept but its true. I did exactly the same.

[@blazinglight4514]

I also did the same thing. Some times you can fight the big fight for them while they can’t even cross a puddle for you. It’s tiring living a life like this, so I chose to walk away from them. Solitude is much more peaceful than a meaningless crowded company.

[@xlazybubblex]

Thank you for this video! When you talked about being an adult and everything it takes and that it does not align with the kind of friendship displayed media something clicked. I sometimes forget I am not required to have a busy social life and shouldn't feel guilty for not having one.

[@intentionalliving7326]

So true ✨✨

[@Siel-bm7gx]

Definitely, we have the life we design. I don't have a busy life right now, when I did I saw myself volunteering for so many things and tasks nothing wrong with it.

[@mihaelaclaudiap..2]

I guess it depends on the level of friendship you have with someone. I have my best friend since childhood and we had fights lasting even a couple of years but we always get back together (as best friends). We grew up together and we were very close, we are more sister than friends, in that case, the feelings are so deep that we naturally find ways to stay friends, we are like 2 magnets now and I am sure that we will die as best friend. xx

[@enastarmer-jones2399]

This is so lovely- thank you for sharing!

[@mandolaa]

Ι wish i had a best friend like this

[@josepha133]

I have the same type of relationship with my best friend and not a day goes by that I'm not grateful to have her in my life!

[@dreamgirl7022]

It might not last forever tho.

[@dreamgirl7022]

Also when people have a family or get into a serious relationship, that tends to take priority over friends as there’s certain things friends can’t give you that a boyfriend can. Just saying. I’m so grateful for my man he is my boyfriend AND best friend

[@zhaklinvasileva6996]

Honestly i realised that i seek validation from friends and boyfriends because i grew up in abusive family.I wanna start journaling instead of sharing with people.

[@yahyeet3694]

I needed this video - I feel like friendships are becoming more and more invasive and people share everything without taking into account other people's preferences.

[@gaganamanjunath732]

I love how your videos are growing into bits of philosophical masterpieces because it's really rare we find topics like this on the internet ❤️

[@LanaBlakely]

Thank you!! ❤️

[@DK-th5nt]

Movies and TV shows are terrible when it comes to showing relationship. I'm 32 and never had friends. I'm now trying to meet some people but the part about how hard is for adult people to find time to meet is sadly true. I hope I can fave enough friends so I can meet with some of them from time to time.

[@hhttpmoonlightx]

i feel like if you're able to maintain having the same group of friends for a long time, y'all arent really honest with each other... which is why i prefer being alone than having a group of friends. i've witnessed the " best of friends " talk badly about each other behind each other's backs, meanwhile irl they act like the best of friends. lol. i rather be alone than surrounded by bad company.

[@stern_noon]

Same here, recently I've been avoiding all my previous friendships and just focusing on myself and on my own wellbeing. It's so okay to be alone and it can be quite comforting.

[@ParvaRuth]

"What is often portraited is codependency" yeeesss!! Amen to this and thanks for this video Lana!

[@DuongVo-tm9vz]

I have a fear of seeing other people getting jealous of me, which results from the fact that I was having toxic friendships who rarely felt happy for me when I achieved something, bodyshaming me, cheated on me with boyfriend, bully,etc. I haven’t cut off the friendships yet but it changed me a lot the way I see friendships nowadays. Some people say I’m too negative. But What can I do when all the negative experience happened to me..

[@LevelUpYourLife]

truth

[@ewelinajastrzebska6222]

I had the same experience. All of my friends were envy

[@alextroy9202]

Same! You are not alone

[@chazbruce2913]

Cut those “friends” off

[@blushwithme111]

I totally relate to you but u know what it's better to cut off and it gives you presence of mind , and all those toxic friends are together and I was left alone , but still I chose peace over their fake smiles. Well, i talk to some of them but iam not comfortable to be in the group . So i kept boundaries

[@olivetree5670]

Exactly, media friendship is fun to watch because fantasy sells. My best friend is my dog and so far no drama or backstabbing and trust is 100%.

[@LanaBlakely]

Haha love it. Same!

[@libertarianassfuck7635]

@@LanaBlakely Same in my case, but I`ve got three cats instead of a doggo, as well. ;-)

[@dianaadhdchannel]

Friendships evolve and dissolve as we ourselves grow more into our own. We age and don’t stay the same, neither do friendships. I

[@dianaadhdchannel]

Friendships evolve and dissolve as we ourselves grow more into our own. We age and don’t stay the same, neither do friendships. But it’s nice to watch the fantasy of the unicorn BFF

[@lunabella8944]

From my personal experiences, not sharing everything with your friends (BBF) which is also a way to protect yourself in the long term. who knows how long does the friendship can last? it can go downhill. some people can turn your back and use your privacy against you. remember: NOTHING IN THIS WORLD WILL LAST FOREVER. the end of the day, from a Chinese old saying " all the gathering banquet will be ended". this is the reality, not be cynical.

[@bear3s]

This video came right in the moment I needed it, I was feeling extremely lonely and wondering what's wrong with me for never feeling connected with anyone

[@TaniaSofiaM]

i used to get attached to friendships, i got enough of being treated wrong and being told im too much or too nice . I learned to forgive, and accept people come and go , and in my case only my family deserves all of me and i need to be good to myself and accept friendships are fragile and many people cant cultivate it.

[@jonte6837]

That ending was amazing 😂 We love the sarcasm, please keep it coming. You're naturally funny

[@gabrieleboracchi7411]

This idea of friendship the way TV wants to make believe has made me suffer a lot, and sometimes still, does. I love so much this video, thank you Lana

[@melissagitts]

Codependency had been such an issue for me, i totally love all you shared. I highly resonate with it all and I love how timely and necessary this information is.

[@padslights8118]

I’ve listened to all of your Podcasts episodes today and they’re really great! It’s so nice to listen to you and it gives you something to think about!

[@LanaBlakely]

Thank you! Glad to hear :))

[@lisahenriettehuber3172]

"labels are not an escape card for shiddy behaviour". THIS!! I never understood how "being super close" with someone can translate into "this is why I can sometimes treat this person horribly. Because.. they'll not leave after all this time." - Of course we see more "flaws", the longer we know each other. But the closer I feel to someone, the more precious they become to me, the more I want to see them happy in every aspect.

[@faithlyl]

Been feeling like an anti-social person lately because my social life was deteriorating. The universe gave me this video. Love it so much, thank you Lana!!! ❤❤❤

[@AhmetKaan]

Sometimes when we are bored, we just want time to pass. *Don't watch the clock and waste time, do what it does. Keep going.*

[@Nabi-jo3qf]

Sooo true. It’s better to use the time that we have efficiently than wasting it.

[@josepablolunasanchez1283]

When "I love you" means "make me happy" the relationship is not healthy. A real relationship has 3 elements: respect, promotes mental health, promotes personal growth and achievement of personal dreams.

[@Leoo117]

Yes! Our entertainment misleads us so much. To add to that, how about those shows or movies when a woman has no romantic interest in a guy that is chasing her, yet he continues to chase her down and do fancy things and buy her flowers, then all of a sudden, she is in love with him. In real life, that guy would be the biggest creep and would be arrested for being a stalker. We grow up with these type of stories and begin to think this is how it should be. Many times, I think the writers just write their own personal fantasy of how they wish things were. Meanwhile, children are growing up with this and being horribly misled.

[@LanaBlakely]

My thoughts exactly! I always think about that and it bothers me how it's being portrayed as "romantic" and how the guy ends up getting her. Like, NO.

[@teocrawford]

The way you and Fred look at each other at the beginning is just...🥺🥺🥺

[@thebunnytofu255]

having some friendship doubts recently, perfect timing thank you!

[@Jubair194]

This is such a great video because it expands on the fact that we have an innate tendency to use what we see on social media and show business as a form of blueprint for our social interactions. Even though we know deep down that these form of media sensationalise everything, we cling on to the idea that these character depictions can be a viable way of interacting in our real lives.

[@TechLead]

Maybe "friends" don't even exist anymore, and we only imagine they do for other people.

[@ryanciani3324]

theres no such thing as friends

[@x97s]

Interesting observation.. this is true

[@mr.nobody6795]

Wow. You just blew my mind. I think you're onto something...

[@DimaaReyma]

The Office seems to have the most realistic friendships from any sitcom

[@JohnSmith-kc7fi]

The office is far from reality...

[@mirage.7286]

Jim and Dwight? Lol

[@freidenkerin5198]

I do not really agree. I think in former times we all were much more hanging out with our pear group. Similar to the life in small (agricultural) villages were you need each other and help each other out (to survive). I feel this is much more healthy then the digital astranged way we live nowadays especially in big cities.

[@meronpat]

Wow Lana i don't know how you do it, but you always make a video about the latest topic that has been going on inside my mind hahaha (fellow INFJ being almost 30 years old). I actually just sent an audio a while ago to my mum saying how weird this stage is in terms of friendship, like i feel i'm somehow trapped on a 2018 version of me that needs to be updated because i dont feel like im the same, but some friendships make me feel trapped in the past, if that makes sense. And it's like we ought to keep that typical TV image of eternal besties o group friends forever but i just can't. I need to keep growing outside (?) Anyway thank you for covering this topic so well 🤍 Made me feel understood as always! PD: if you ever feel like, i would totally love to hear someday how you handle your friendships or how are you navigating through them, maybe with tips of healthy relationships etc ✨

[@unkown3136]

Is just me or is it so hard to found Friend (female) honnest and not jalous not selfish truly feel happy or at least not sad when you success or having a good life and know how to enjoy her time ?!!!😭💔

[@yustaanna5009]

Actually Modern Family also takes the cake for being the most unrealistic in portraying family relationships specifically. Whoever talks and gets along with their family members in the same way as they do? They forgive each other massive life changing events "because they are a family". Most of the time it's not that easy. Family relationships can be very difficult. Also where do they get so much money from? They break things, go on holidays, book all inclusive holidays for the whole family just on a whim. Damn, but it's still such a feel good show, something you wish you had, something to aspire to, and in some cases company. Some treat characters on TV shows as their own friends in a way that they see them grow, develop, go through different obstacles.

[@lindakandix]

I have to say, I just love this channel. Your conversations are always so realistic and relatable. After each video, I feel more relieved that there are people who share the same thoughts as me. Thank you Lana.

[@kavyakotak8368]

Thank you sooooooo much Lana for this amazing video. You don't know how many lives you are changing through your videos. I always felt so insecure that I do not have enough friends, but not anymore. Thanks!!!!!!

[@tech_wizard9315]

Any life advice for 24yr old who is totally perplexed and confused about Life and career.

[@morningglory.213]

ALSO! nobody talks about overgrowing friendships 😩 my friends think i just want to “get rid of them” if i message stuff like ive outgrown them or like just dont vibe w them anymore

[@manifestmeee]

Lana must be the prettiest girl from the inside and outside ever !

[@yukidoit]

I struggled so much when I was younger, and put friendships so high that I forgot we're just humans sometimes. It showed a lot of my insecurities as somewhat of a mirror. Unconditional love should not only be shared among lovers but also among friends. Thanks for being an inspiration for my own channel! (◍•ᴗ•◍)

[@myfriendgoo2816]

Lana remains so distractingly beautiful that it's hard to concentrate on content. We hear a lot about how social media and especially Instagram gives people all kinds of unrealistic expectations, causes the FOMO to go sky high and makes people think everyone's happier than they are, has more friends, takes way better vacations, etc. That "role" of making people feel inadequate used to be done by magazines and TV shows, so it's not new but arguably worse now with all the Mark Zuckerberg media also piling on. Lana's could be helpful in deflating all that through videos like this.

[@opnarth]

The original Star Trek was like this. They were all deeply loyal friends on the show. But it real life George Takei (Sulu) had a real problem with William Shatner (Kirk), without any real smoking gun issue causing it. I assume their must be a few five or six or more person groups or families where everyone gets along equally and is deeply loyal, but I have never seen it. I always see some kind of drama - very often over not that much of a real issue.

[@josepablolunasanchez1283]

In life sometimes ugly things happen. How to vent that? I discovered the 90-10 rule. 90% of time respect, promoting mental health and helping others to achieve dreams. 10% of time to vent, by talking about sad episodes. It means that if I shared 1 hour of negative experiences, I owe 9 hours of positivity to that person. It works for all personal relationships, from friends you trust to marriage. 90-10 prevents human interaction from becoming toxic but opens a window to vent. Just be sure that venting is healthy. Attack and mock problems and situations, not people.

[@OktoberJournal]

The moment when I realized that "Someone I call a (best) friend, doesn't have to call me their (best)friend" came true for me, I stopped calling people my friend. The only ones I have is myself and my partner, and I don't even call him a friend because he's my partner. Which to me means more.

[@djtommykeys]

Hi Lana. I'm into a laid back life full of peace and Zen living. I've watched several of your videos that fit my vibe. I'm not really a TV person so I couldn't relate to the topic much at all. However, your voice is very pleasant with rich overtones so I kept the video going on in the other room while I cooked dinner. You got a like and a full watch for the algorithm. I got shrimp fried rice. A win win. Best wishes.

[@frunny1]

I had no friends after moving to different city some months ago. I reached to local group on social media where are many people and I wrote status about desiring a Friends group. Now we are 7 people hanging out together. It’s not perfect friendship and never will be but at least I can live something like those sitcoms for 20%

[@ChrisGaultHealthyLiving]

Awesome video as usual, Lana! Great job! I agree, people shouldn’t expect to live the perfect lives that are portrayed on TV. Those shows are fiction. Enjoy them, but don’t make personal comparisons. They just leads to disappointment!

[@abbyabbyabbyy]

you honestly didn't miss anything by not watching friends lol

[@ImprovementGang]

I honestly think that friendships start to go down right after high school or college. It is a bit sad, but we make friends with the people that we spend the most time with - the more there is resistance to seeing a certain friend, the more probability the friendship will sort of die-off.

[@kimmyyuni2722]

Here's a thing I blamed myself since I was a little girl for not being able to keep friends even tho I felt like I was always "a ride or die" to them. I would put them before myself, I would ditch my ex boyfriends just to stay with them and I would do things I never really liked just because my friends want to do them. I lost myself in them only to discover that I'm the second best friend you know the one that walks behind because the street doesn't fit and the one you only make plans with when someone cancels basically thirdwheeling every single friendship I've ever made. I had some time to myself last summer and I kept thinking about how I've always been there for them but they never did the same to me so I decided to step out and to cut all the relationships that never really added anything to my life other than ofcours trauma dump everytime I texted them but yeah I'm feeling so much better now I only keep contact with old friends from time to time and life has been good. Ps: big friends group are really overrated.

[@lattemacchiato858]

I always was wondering how in teen series they had time to study with all the drama going on

[@starxz7417]

I swear every time i watch your videos i feel like i'm at a therapy session. I don't know how you do it but you say EXACTLY what i need to hear. I've been having mental breakdowns in the past months over how me and my "best friend" that i've known for 9 years parted ways. I have been crying endless nights thinking about how we used to be but now, after watching this video, i don't feel anything anymore. Like, you genuienly opened my eyes and made me finally realize that not everybody is meant to stay in your life forever. From the bottom of my heart, thank you 🤗

[@alextroy9202]

I have also been having breakdowns

[@randshahrour6157]

Not me actually checking the description box for Louis and Andrew's ig 💀💀

[@suryacoapy5129]

The main purpose for having friends is so I have people I can withdraw from and be unavailable. So satisfying.

[@flowerchasethesunshine9063]

The third one! Yes! Some people think it's a cute great bonding moment to share secrets with their friend or partner and I guess it is FOR THEM. BUT the secrets are supposed to be THEIR secrets, not OTHER people's secrets! Goddamnit! Sometimes somebody starts telling me things saying something like "I shouldn't tell you this but..." and then it's me who has to stop them and say "ok so why are you telling me then? I don't want to hear"

[@prettyeyes6940]

After having so many split in friendship..I have stopped addressing or labeling anyone as my BFF..they can be my close friend or super close friend bt not bff. One more thing I would like to add is having just that one friend who will be there for u no matter wt is way too idealistic..bcoz in reality u will have friends bt they wouldn't be available everytime. So there is nothing wrong to have friends with whom u just have fun and aren't that close, or friends with whom u do both. Even if u have just 2 friends there is nothing wrong.

[@stillfangirlingtoday1468]

To me "Friends" is the worst fairytale of them all, the show is great, but it may get you disappointed with your friends when in reality that type of closeness and friendship in your late 20s/early 30s and with that big of a group (a whopping 6) is just impossible for almost anyone.

[@anewagora]

I've been disappointed by many friends, but because of outright self-sabotage they get into that drags the rest of us into a nightmare whirlpool. The worse it gets I feel like the less I learn. Maybe a misconception being broken down, crumbling like a statue, not a real person. I'm still completely stumped on why someone would attack their own life so much, and often as an attempt to attack me. My best grasp at some understanding is they are under some serious delusion, maybe from trauma that is very common, that makes it seem like they're acting in self defense. And this weirdly almost makes sense, because this always happens when I believe in their capacity to step up, be strong and responsible. Self defense in that case would be proving they aren't capable. It's profoundly tragic. But unfortunately it's led me to be a lot more skeptical of supposedly close friends and their show of responsibility and trustworthiness. After too many times of the most unexpected and sudden changes in persona, and total betrayal on such an extreme level, I've found that you need to be self reliant and conscious about what people you pursue close friendships with.

[@travisgould7653]

I think as art forms many TV shows are just really bad art. The essentials are not very well distilled. The characters often lack admirable characteristics. And plots and themes are lost because of the broken up nature of TV shows. But certain really good fiction books have friend stories and love stories, though perhaps not perfectly matched to reality, distill something from reality to show the good or bad principles involved.

[@vibewithzahra]

Very interesting video, Lana. I truly agreed when you said that as adults we can't be there for our friends all the time. I gotta add that these shows make adults believe that friends come first no matter what. And if their friend asks for some space, they throw tantrums because it doesn't align with their concept of friendship. They then start sabotaging their own friendship.

[@nau304]

Never ever was able to maintain good, stable friendships because people are envious. To me.. especially women.. while man are trying to get in my bed... its lonley but at least I maintain a quality over social quantity.

[@steffe9051]

Thats y i stopped watching tv shows and movies they make u beleive life cant goes on without friends or life partner

[@deeaLo]

The last part is not a joke. This is the real way Lana thinks about that situation. By ,,joke" she's trying to avoid criticism.

[@shivashishsarkar8584]

Your perception about anything changes from time to time and so does the one you have about friendships and relationships too. You believe what you are able to manifest and while some may believe that friendships are hard to come by and even more so to keep they are actually great to have in your life because obviously, they enrich your life.

[@lolicdia]

If a friend does not respect you or your boundaries they’re not your friend. No one is entitled to your life or time if you don’t want to.

[@tofferarvid6589]

OMG 😃 you dawgy is just like one we had when I was a boy 🥺💗🌅♾️

[@raniahmontana]

When I was younger I used to idealize the idea of having a "best friend" and have putted so much effort on that for a long time. That was until I got stuck on a situation where I felt humiliated and my friends were there with me so I expected them to defend me or whatever( which by the way, didn't happen) After that I realized that nobody is gonna stand out for me and I gotta do this by myself, that helped me to not put friendships in such a high pedestal as I used to do.

[@angelvantovier2235]

So glad you made this video , I’m such an introvert and love watching these shows but then get down cause I feel like I must lack in life as my friendship circle is like ummmm kind of just my neighbour and my sister and that’s about it . And as a solo mum I don’t go out .

[@karakniss524]

This is something that isn't always obvious to young people, and sometime easily forgettable as an adult. Especially for people struggling with having a healthy social life, or may not know what that looks like. I love how you clearly articulate your thoughts. Awesome!

[@camicamcam1234]

your dog is so fluffy ahhhhhhhh. also yeah i started having issues like that except the opposite way around. everything that i told my friend she would tell her boyfriend. the worse part was her boyfriend was super rude to me so i didn't like him. i started getting annoyed with the fact that she always wanted to invite her boyfriend to hangout with us, when the guy couldn't even be nice. i didn't feel comfortable telling her what was wrong because I felt like nothing that I would tell her could be kept just between us and i didn't want that guy knowing details about my personal life.

[@veeho14]

Friends is WAY overrated.

[@aditigautam4607]

I agree with you but apart from the topic do watch friends. It's the best!

[@NFSMAN50]

True things said!!!

[@XPrincess30]

I feel like you’re just coping to make yourself feel better about being a crap friend

[@nothanks5162]

Gilmore girls for me is the most realistic study wise, and yet when rory finally breaks like any normal human being would people calĺ her selfish, a brat, or whatever else. Sure, years of being in the top, all that pressure and then someone telling you that all you've worked for is not for you should have no impact. Very realistic...

[@simranbansal9303]

Just today I got done watching a movie and was thinking the exact EXACT same things as you. But here, the way you put everything, defining properly what you meant by each line, and stating exceptions, stating expectations too, it was awesome. Very inclusive!

[@MagiMystik]

Friendship is not ownership of another persons time. It is a sharing when possible.

[@jenntruong6023]

Yup- have always had a hard time maintaining female friendships. Usually, it was my "friend" who never told me what they had a problem with and then just promptly ended the friendship. Now, I trust people less when it comes to having friends. I have literally one friend and that is it but what is sad is that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop- always asking myself when will this friendship end? Because sadly, they all do. But then again, I get the whole friend for a season thing and certain people only come into your life for you to help them or for them to help you, and then the friendship is fated to end. And having more friends requires more generosity, patience, and maintenance. So, it is easier to have just the one friend so you only really have to deal with that one person. But then when that one person is busy, then there is no one else to call to hang out when you want to hang out to do something. No options at that point. So, nothing and noone is perfect and I guess we all deal with the hand we have been dealt with the best we can