The "Love Vs Career" Trope | Video Essay

please let me know if you also hate Nate from The Devil Wears Prada, I need to know I'm not the only one!!
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time stamps ---
0:00 - intro
1:08 - the working woman
2:57 - the main character
5:29 - the partner
6:36 - conclusion

[@aidan_drawin]

love this, hate Nate. And I can't believe we STILL haven't figured out how to equalize things for women so they can get hired without managers *fearing* they'll get pregnant!

[@mariyadimitrova2097]

Oh also “I need more time with you” and “you should work less” are two completely different statements - one is controlling and full of sexism. Nate is the worst. Boo, Nate!

[@MaiaCVideos]

booo nate!

[@MrScotchpo]

I like the movie “The Intern” as a subversion of this trope (also has Anne Hathaway what a queen). It poses her husband’s infidelity as a result of her focus on her career but in the end it’s clear that he just can’t handle her being the breadwinner. In the end she prioritizes her career and gives him a second chance to work on his own issues that caused the rift. Great video btw!

[@Horatio787]

I can't think of a same sex relationship being the main characters in anything other than a genre movie.

[@mariyadimitrova2097]

Call men out for the double standards on a daily basis! Nates shouldn’t be enabled!

[@ameliamccluskey7268]

Great video Maia! I've never thought about how common (and dangerous) this trope is!

[@MaiaCVideos]

Thanks so much! :)

[@grassgeese3916]

I think that this trope is one part misogyny re-enacted, another part genuine conflict between capitalist demands of the public and the human relationships that have the potential to bring fulfillment joy and strength

[@randomusername429]

I think another part of the issue is that women are so much more heavily associated with taking care of the kids and the house than men, that people don't expect those roles at home to be shared by both a husband and a wife. In an opposite sex relationship, they see one person having a full time job at a place of employment and the other having a full time job at home taking care of the kids. People have gotten so used to the idea that "men go to work, women raise kids and do the housework" that it never occurs to them that these two roles can be divided up any other way. They forget that men and women can divide it up in such a way that they each do "50%" of the housework, giving both time for a career. So they see women having both a job and a love life and/or family as her taking on two full time jobs that would interfere with each other, making them think she has to choose one or the other. It's really messed up. If a man and a woman are married, they can both take care of the house and kids together which would allow both of them time to work. We need to get out of the industrial revolution mindset of the "inner" and "outer" circles being so separate and so mutually exclusive.

[@MaiaCVideos]

totally agree! we need to move away from the idea of housework and career-type work being mutually exclusive

[@Nury_the_1]

Well it’s because of something called The Mother’s Nurture. Nobody can take care of a child more and better than their Mother. I would say split the house work, But for the children are way better off with a fully available mother. This is my personal opinion from my personal experience.

[@mikearchibald744]

Actually, in the past twenty years male caring for children has come out pretty equal. It USED to be true that men didn't bother with the kids, but now most countries have paternal leave that is as long as maternity leave. For some odd reason though housework is still a womans domain. I'm not sure why that is, that men will increasingly do child care but won't wash a dish. I know my wife is 'fussy' about some housework and 'wants it a certain way', but I can't see that as being the reason why men just dont' seem to be able to push a vacuum or wash a dish.

[@MadameTamma]

The only instance of the genders being reversed with this troupe is the movie 'Whiplash' Where the main character gives up everything including his girlfriend for the purpose of being the best drummer in his abusive music teacher's eyes.

[@MaiaCVideos]

oh yeah true! and a great film

[@JonathanEBoyd]

another great video an interesting perspective for sure it's a very common trope I never looked at it so deeply before . Do you think it's possible to make a trope less rom com ? & if they did did do you think it would be as popular or entertaining ?

[@MaiaCVideos]

thanks so much! that's definitely a hard question, but I'd hope it'd still be popular :)

[@iasminaraujo7109]

It would be quit refreshing to see this trope being played out to show the imbalances of the main girl relationship, despite how loving they are with each other, and so to motivate them to change their dynamics so that both can have fulfilling lives

[@MaiaCVideos]

yeah absolutely!

[@doppelmoppel]

Amazing video as usual. Though there's a little Robin Scherbatsky shaped hole in all of it ;)

[@MaiaCVideos]

thank you!! I admittedly haven't watched much HIMYM so I'm not too educated on the characters lol

[@doppelmoppel]

@@MaiaCVideos definelty recommending HIMYM a lot, it's genuenly one of the best sitcoms of all time, i'll even go as far as saying it's as good as community, maybe with more focus on emotion

[@pankaeyk]

epic and good video 👏

[@MaiaCVideos]

thanks so much!!

[@elliebarnhart2043]

1 moment please, I gotta pull up my laptop so I can watch this on the big screen

[@MaiaCVideos]

as you should!!

[@kendraduli6806]

I have a bit of a different view on the story of the devil wears Prada. I think the choice is between her working herself in a job that doesn’t represent her as a person or following her dreams and passion for journalism like we see in the end of the movie. In the end she gets a job she actually likes and her with Nate don’t actually get together but it is implied that the door is open for them to try again. I think this movie has been misread a lot for this love v work idea when it never was about that in the first place

[@xxCrapNamexx]

Career being a man thing came about because most men are superfluousness and expendable so it was a way to distract them.