THE MAGISTRATUM MUNDANUS: EPISODE 3 - BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

#magistratumMundanus #40k #blackpantslegion
The Magistratum Mundanus appeared first on the black pants legion Podcast: open.spotify.c... in October of 2022.
History/Context : The Magistratum Mundanus is a roleplaying session set in the Marginalia of Warhammer 40k. Tex, an out of practice DM of Rogue Trader and Dark Heresy brushed off his very dusty skills (after a 10 year hiatus of DMing no less!) to tell a story of . . . well. . . you'll see.
The magistratum Mundanus itself is a homebrew of FFG's Dark heresy 1 and 2, along with several select modifications to small arms and explosion rules to ensure combat is faster, more lethal, and stupidity is curtailed regarding willy-nilly use of violence. Regardless of this, the team does what it does.
Further: This is non canon in the extreme, and is based largely upon what Tex remembered from his heyday of 40k lore and the fandom, and is in no way whatsoever relevant to the current world as it stands, its current lore, or should ever be judged on the accuracy thereof.
Note: This is a game among friends having fun. The audio gets better over time as we were figuring out what in the hell we were doing. Please enjoy!
Also - This is a fan made creation. All rights are reserved by the actual copyright holders. The Art however, is by Eldonious Rex. Glory be to his skills.

[@PobortzaPl]

- Grigglak! What happened? - Grigglak just a pawn in game of life...

[@iller3]

_"The human head only has so many hit points..."_ -Tex in response to Grigglack rolling enough capacitor discharge and brute force to spot weld Tank treads

[@CACTUSTEC151]

The Emperor sits in a throne made of Cargo , may it be delivered unto us .

[@chrisnunez5899]

I read that in Tex’s voice

[@dominiccourtois4415]

Hail Cargonia!!

[@HalIOfFamer]

​@@chrisnunez5899we all did

[@Khornecussion]

*Space Station 13 Vietnam-esque flashbacks*

[@bootsfluffy9476]

Hail Cargonia!

[@tba113]

My headcanon: The Captain has just given Viktor his orders to keep Delta Shift under control, report anything weird, and not die. He salutes and marches out of her office. As soon as the door shuts, she leans back in her chair, sighs, and pinches the bridge of her nose. She reaches for her lighter and a pack of smokes. With her eyes still shut, she doesn't notice the flicker of shadow from the office window behind her desk as Grigglak plummets past it from the roof, having failed his attempt to spear-charge a bird that oddly seemed to have the munchies. Since the watch house's motor pool uses its own entrance, the Delta Shift crew doesn't see the envoy from the admin records bureau standing in the guest parking lot, arguing with AAA (the Administratum Automobile Association) over the phone about arranging for a tow truck, since there is now a huge, oddly man-shaped impact crater in the center of his bureau-issued car.

[@ki3657]

🤣🤣 oh man this is priceless!

[@KrawmKruach]

she wouldn't see the shadow but she would hear the crash, she probably rushes to the window, sees the cave man slowly crawling off the roof, doesn't say a word she simply sits back down, lights another cigarette and sighs while double face palming.

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

@@ki3657 absolutely.

[@barrag3463]

@KrawmKruach nah, she doesn't stand up or even turn; she just closes her eyes and takes a long drag, grimacing in frustration at her ever worsening situation - and the fact that the cigarette does not seem to be alleviating her worsening migrane.

[@ScorpiusZA.]

Good lord that was epic to read. That is my headcannon now

[@BlueGrimgrin]

I now understand what Tex meant about Digs just breaking games. You could hear it in Tex's voice after Digs said "I would like to cast spasm on him", and all of a sudden the encounter turns into another brutal slaughter.

[@ralphsexton8531]

That had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! I had to sit down

[@psychocomytic9778]

Sounds like a fun player to throw wild monstrosities at. That explains a lot though, every time I think they bumbled into another fully fucked situation here comes the psyker killing half the opposition.

[@DixonsCider]

Well, yeah. It's modified Dark Heresy. Very swing, very lethal game. And psykers ARE as op as you think. Hell, even an ACTUAL guardsman with a lasgun BLAMMing away on full auto is very dangerous in DH. It really showcases how tough and badass the humans ARE in 40K. What woth how deadly every BASIC shit is.

[@sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667]

Please Tex. This madness is exactly the kind of rope-skipping with the fine line between genius that makes even a cold rainy night shift as a tow truck driver seem less so. Listening to this series while I drive makes me feel like my truck is my living room and that home is wherever I want it to be. I eagerly await the delightful nonsensery that are your videos. "What whimsy shall I enjoy in the next?" I wonder. Patience is a heavenly virtue. To rush art in motion of such quality has already been the folly of many others. I will wait for the next blessing upon my day with the eager anxiety of my inner child. Be well Tex. The hollow malaise of life seeks to claim us all. It is our solemn duty to not go quietly when the dark comes calling. Your friendships are a beautiful painting of sound through the blank canvas that is your creative muse. Let not the Big Sad linger Tex. Treat it as the most unwelcome guest to ever darken your doorway. As much as life beats us down, it will never defeat us as long as we can still laugh in it's face. I shall end this unread and hidden gem with the babylon 5 "old egyptian blessing". May god stand between you and harm, and all the empty places you must walk. Have a good day Tex. Finding your channel has so far warmed me to my very soul.

[@chriswriter9087]

I have no idea how you managed to calmly drive while listening to this. I laughed so hard I fell out of my seat multiple times.

[@sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667]

@@chriswriter9087 oh I never said anything of the sort prospective friend. These antics and Tex's creative spirit destroy my ribs like a GDI Ion Cannon barrage. The hard part is keeping your eyes open while dying of laughter.

[@KrawmKruach]

@@sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667 "destroy my ribs like a GDI Ion Cannon barrage" is a phrase i would never have expected to be heard in my life, well played.

[@cappinjocj9316]

Well said. Cheers

[@joshualegrand4492]

When you realize Grigglak son of Grigglak is actually one of the smartest characters. Observe The Frog.

[@cappinjocj9316]

All hail frog!

[@potandpoliticswithmr.broph1420]

Please keep the Omnissiah song for the armory tech adept. I imagine he's actually always listening to that in his office on something like a 1960's beach radio and the mental image of him wandering the parking feeding seagulls with a mechadendrite holding the radio behind him so he has his theme music makes him one of my favorite characters.

[@TechPriestLovesToasters]

It is a favorite among my kind.

[@knowbuddynose]

"We can't expect the Emperor to do all the work."

[@tba113]

The Mechanicus background music is "War Cant of Mars", and it's great. It's a 40K-themed version of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. The artist who came up with it also did a cover of Marty Robbins's Big Iron that he called "Boltgun". And yeah, the singer for War Cant of Mars _does_ sound a bit like Goat.

[@Darqshadow]

Titans marching forward Ordinatti by the score Seriosul,y underrated song

[@zackarybrown6752]

Lol I just realized that id Grigglak had caught the bird and eaten it he may have been high as hell for the next encounter.

[@cappinjocj9316]

Dysentery would be the least of his worries.

[@Lieutenant_Dude]

Oh yeah, Colm got the dope. The experiments begin.

[@FaceIntoKeyboard]

Ah, we meet Collin's Grandma! That was wholesome. Edit: We also learn how tough Grigglak is when he takes that dive off the roof...

[@jaffartheblade]

ok so iv realized that every time you hear "grigglak(son of grigglak) charge" your about to laugh and have a good time.

[@a.gravemistake3061]

Doing a Doctor Nick with CS gas. 'Inflammable means flammable? What a planet!'

[@spinetanium3296]

Could you imagine if Grigglak had eaten that bird, but it was one of the Magos experiments?😮

[@acceptablecasualty5319]

I LOVE the fact that you picked out a self-parody Song by Simon Viklund, a man known for his INTENSE combat EDM, as the replacement Song for the Riot Music. The fact that it was used as Trailer music for an incendiary weapons DLC was just icing on the cake.

[@acceptablecasualty5319]

Ravana too!?

[@robertkluck1510]

@@acceptablecasualty5319 was scratching my head trying to place the song, didn't expect a FFXIV song in the mix

[@lornbaker1083]

Usually I only ever think of Simon's music whenever I'm playing.Payday two. This was a very happy surprise. Sure wasn't expecting the choice though but still very interesting

[@JackalStandard]

Tex, this is fucking amazing. Kudos to everyone on this

[@Nathan_Talisien]

Oh, man... In the best possible way, this reminds me of a particular sesdion of a 3rd edition D&D game I ran back in the early 2000's. The party was tasked with negotiating with a goblin clan, the goal being to get the goblins to vacate a fort they'd conquered, which the local ruler had previously been using to train griffons as mounts. The party's 'face' was a paladin so stereotypically PALADIN he was almost incapacitated; in a series of checks over perhaps twenty minutes of roleplay, he: • approached the fort • opened negotiations • nat 1'd the first Diplomacy check, irritating the goblins • nat 1'd the second Diplomacy check, angering the goblins • low rolled his Reflex Save, failing to avoid the net slung at him • was bound and caged • failed his Open Lock check to unlock his shackles • failed his Open Lock check to unlock his cage • nat 1'd his Move Silently to not be noticed failing the lockpick attempts • tried to cover by praying loudly • nat 20'd his Knowledge: Religion check to converter the guards to worshiping Pelor • low rolled his attempt to convert the watch officer • low rolled his attempt to convert the guard captain • nat 1'd his attempt to convert the goblin shaman and goblin chief • low rolled his performance check to sing hymns on the way to his execution • nat 20'd his Reflex save to survive being tossed over the 40' high fort wall by goblins who were VERY over his religious shtick It was a hell of a ride, andeven though it has been two-plus decades since that night- and a good decade since that group last played together- the shenanigans of that session come up almost every tine I talk to any of those folks. * sigh * Good times, good times... 🙂

[@alphaandomega4422]

Grigglak blessed by Holy Sky Man Viktor is the pride of Krieg, and I think the Cap likes him Uriah is the poor overwhelmed everyman we all relate to Quinn has a wonderful family Ricky...is Ricky

[@SmittyRB1]

Ricky is.. Ricky is Bobby

[@RvnKnight]

Tex to Ricky: "don't make me tap the chart!"

[@AncientSlugThrower]

OK, so how long before Ricky has to face his nemesis in a 40k Mr. Lahey?

[@mikecampos1193]

​@@AncientSlugThrowerwonder what the imperial version of shit birds are like.

[@AncientSlugThrower]

I wonder if Tex has doo wop surf rock at the ready for all of his sessions. 😂 Great week of releases, this has been a welcome treat. "You smash his skull into a pink mist." "Wait, I don't get my second attack?" 😂😅😂😅

[@Gonroamin]

Bellowing about the wrath of the god-kaiser is peak Krieger. Oh my god. I was crying with laughter. Bravo.

[@Arendelft]

When I got up this morning and saw this had been posted I went from "Oh frag this day." to "Frag yes, more Mundanus shinnanigens!!! YYEEESSSHHH!!!"

[@tempestcrow]

I am afraid Ol'Grig will end up eating one of the birds the armorer has doped to create his destructo squad..

[@quillofthewest2781]

In my head, the old guy the Administratum wants found is a 41st-millennium descendant of Grandpa Tex.

[@PointyHairedJedi]

I had a Rogue Trader campaign character who was an Ogryn named Mouse (he was short... for an Ogryn). I feel like him and Grigglak would have gotten on well together. (Also, the DM let me make this character without fully understanding the implications of Unnatural Toughness, which made for some interesting fights later on. )

[@AGrumpyPanda]

In fairness, there's enough ways to get unnatural toughness and enough things in the Expanse that doesn't care *how* tough you are, that it wouldn't have been a big deal in the long run even if they knew.

[@lessonslearned2569]

The Cleaning Fire of the Imperium. The Emperor be Praised!

[@EricDKaufman]

Guys, I run the QC/QA end of a medical manufacturing facility during first shift. You can't dump this on me this early. People look up to me. LOL I have to retain my compsure.

[@Darqshadow]

Laughter is the best medicine

[@SonsOfLorgar]

May your next employment be less sensitive to uncontrollable mirth! The God Emperor Ascendant watches over thee citizen!

[@NutjobGTO]

The Captain sounds just sweet and snuggly.

[@quillofthewest2781]

She is undoubtedly a commanding presence if taken out on a date. And probably thinks that platinum dog tags are the height of fashion (especially when worn over pristine camo-coloured silk).

[@AncientSlugThrower]

I think she may have taken a shine to Viktor. Imagine Viktor's response if she made a pass at him. Something about fraternization no doubt.

[@Bubba960]

@@quillofthewest2781 so, uhhhh I think the word I’m looking for……. is……. uhhhhh……… Mommy?

[@WilliamHess-tk1br]

I love listening to this session, but I would really love to see what the board looks like.

[@Havocme7]

1:42:20 Holy shit. That actually happened to me. I was a hopper on an armored car. I was coming out of the stop and an old lady walked up to me and, I shit you not, said to me "Are.. are you the mailman?" I looked at her with bafflement on my face and said no. My friend opens the truck door and I hop in and I tell him what she said. He said, "Yea, that's great. Someone just ran into the truck." He gets out to look. Turns out it was the old lady. She impaled her 1998 Ford Contour on the rear bumper of the truck by taking the turn too tight. Once she hit the truck she didn't stop, she kept driving, impaling her car even further on our bumper. It got so bad that our bumper was lifting her car off the ground. 22 years later and I still remember that. Thanks for bringing that back up. :)

[@lornbaker1083]

I hope the old lady didn't actually get punished for her mistake. Honestly I would be crying with laughter and give her a hug if that happened To me

[@Havocme7]

@lornbaker1083 I don't know what happened to her after. I don't think there was any charges or tickets. She probably got a hit on her insurance, though.

[@WTFisTingispingis]

The captain is not nearly as much of an assmuncher I expected but holy hell she doesn't take shit I love her.

[@Darqshadow]

Oh thank you Tex! I'm a major warhammer fan so having access to this alongside the Battletech (I was introduced to battletech when I was 6, so it has a very close spot in my heart) I'm currently dealing with life and the costs it incurs, but I will try to feed the algorithm so others may see this.

[@geoffreyentwistle8176]

This. Is. FANTASTIC. XD I cannot wait for the next one! Tex's sighs as player shenanigans ensue reminds me of those times I ran Shadowrun... 😂

[@joshuawright3651]

I was about to try and plough through a Big Pile o Work, thinking that I really could use something fun and engaging to listen to. And lo, like a gift from the hand of the God Emperor himself, here it is

[@ianjarrett9375]

Im so happy that you guys uploaded these here as i like using these for work

[@therakshasan8547]

" Let's go to the Market." . Classic , Tex , Classic .

[@JoshuaEFinley]

This was amazing. Somebody needs to animate it.

[@canderoussnurd4265]

1:39:58 gotta put himself out *Reaches for bottle of what he thinks is water *Turns out to be 180 proof vodka *fire increases

[@derekburge5294]

"Roll suppression and keep notes." He knows too much. The council of GMs must told! Goat is too powerful. Question... Has the BPL ever done a recorded Battletech game?

[@SirDigs]

Kohl/Discount Dan ran some Battletech, but it wasn't a RPG www.youtube.com/@kohlberrrto897/streams

[@DiggingForFacts]

Since posting links is iffy nowadays, look up: Discount Tukayyid.

[@Llangion]

Grandpa Tex stands from his chair...

[@elijahgrimm8052]

A fantastic episode. Plenty of laughs to be had.

[@cynicalcitizen8315]

T-shirt of "What would Grigglack do?" is definitely being printed.

[@Khornecussion]

" Flick a quarter and shoot off of it. " He hits four guys and in the top of his vision it says " ULTRAKILL "

[@athos1029]

BPL Merch bracelets that say “WHAT WOULD GRIGGLAK DO?”

[@Archangelm127]

Grigglak charge. ❤

[@kingghoul2324]

1:50:15 it has a safety so you can do revolver tricks with it.

[@JosephKano]

Did someone cast spasm on a flamer carrying bad guy... 😮

[@FaceIntoKeyboard]

Praise z0rg.

[@gmradio2436]

And pass the Promethium.

[@QuestionableObject]

I'm convinced at this point that Crowind just *is* Ricky at this point the way he just smoothly slips into rambling incoherently about bullshit

[@pa_gaming_dad2810]

Binged all three episodes, can't wait for the next episode. Pure joy listening to these.

[@GretchenDawntreader]

I think if hell existed it would be eternity hearing that weird 1950s arms open wide whatever that was. Yikes. I felt myself pushing through that just to finish listening to the episode :)

[@Balevolt]

Colm is easily my favorite, that is all.

[@grubfist]

Colm is the absolute best character, if you haven't heard the whole series on the podcast, you are in for a treat!

[@Balevolt]

@@grubfist I got Spotify to listen to the rest.

[@auxilia5024]

Colm is perhaps my favorite portrayal of a techpriest ever

[@Shadesight]

Oh my great God-Emperor, I love the Magos.

[@oldeskul]

There were survivors, that means Delta Shift will have to do more work processing the captive, unless Deputy does the Krieger thing and performs an interrogation(torture), then summarily executes them.

[@DixonsCider]

Have you ever known a Krieger to NOT do the Krieger thing? That's why they NEED commissars. To RESTRAIN their enthusiasm.

[@JPG.01]

This is amazing. One of if not the most entertaining campaigns I have had the joy of listening to. Looking forward to more of those shenanigans. But it makes me realize what an annoying player I am... I'm so by the freaking book and not much deviating of the DMs plans that playing with me might be worse than playing with AI. I'm enjoying myself as I am mostly a mechanics driven player, a story for me can be pretty small some might even say boring, but needs to be a good vehicle for the game's mechanics. But Pen and paper is also great for that since a dm can make even a fetch quest still an enjoyable thing to do. Go to X kill Y is enough for me to engage with your game.

[@michaelman957]

The captain is a lot of fun.

[@phelan511]

More delta squad shenanigans. I needed this today

[@randomcontent2205]

Thanks guys, this is fun! The way games should be.

[@Nickademus77]

Beautimus. They can't keep getting away with it.

[@elijahsnow3119]

All fear the GUN KAISER

[@Maladjester]

Dudes hopping around screaming while "Flames of Love" plays is the funniest image I've had all week.

[@WarRocketAjax99]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OF....Grigglak??? I mean...damn...golfed that dudes head riiiiight off. LET'S GO! HAWKMEN!!! DIIIIIIVE!!!

[@tban4122]

This is my new favorite series

[@Devonus100]

Grigglak no hit much, but grigglak hit like falling metal sky bird when do

[@Seeric85]

Man, this is really good, finally an entertaining actual play series, I haven't had that for years. Thanks, Tex and lads.

[@ocularcavity8412]

I LOVE THIS!!!!! more entertaining than EVERYTHING on television these dyas

[@dennisswanson9827]

Shoutout to KZbin for seamlessly transitioning to a terrible dubstep hard seltzer ad right after Tex mentioned the rave under the market.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

Isn't "noble family" synonymous with "slightly less successful crime syndicate than organized religions" since the beginning of civilization?

[@canderoussnurd4265]

Aren’t we an edgy boi? From 2008

[@SonsOfLorgar]

​@@canderoussnurd4265 edgy? Nah dude, I'm not a 17th century Frenchman 😂

[@boomerkobold3943]

⁠@@SonsOfLorgarno, you’re beginning an edgy Preddit atheist.

[@kingalphawerewolf]

Religionnerds stay mad that you're giving money to the people doing things your cult explicitly has written down as being bad. At least rich people and nobles have a REASON for thinking they're better then everyone else lmao@@boomerkobold3943

[@bassmeg]

this is some of the best stuff I've listened to in a long time!

[@Gobi_Ness]

Man, I can't wait to be able to watch the rest of this series.

[@amargasaurus5337]

I love the mechanicus music! It gives the tech priest a lot of personality lmao

[@Lieutenant_Dude]

lol, fucking Great Bambino’d that guys head into a red fountain of blood

[@robertharris3122]

Emperor protects! Glad to see you guys getting this out!

[@psydocthepsyduck8382]

I lost ONE jaw in a campaign…

[@YeomanArcher]

Uncle Bucky's Bucket of Buckshot! Haven't seen deals like that, since the 31st Millenium!

[@tinfoilhat3268]

Every time I hear the revolver safety, I just automatically think of the Reichs revolver which did have such a thing.

[@justinbingham4420]

This is wonderful. Thank you.

[@joshuachapman247]

I love this show - Thank you.

[@TotemSP2]

It's kinda neat how each player gets to introduce each episode.

[@e-train765]

"Grigglak charge" 😂

[@TodayLifeIsGoood]

42:30 I actually also knew a guy that spiced up his food with pepperspray^^

[@JosephKano]

"the scent of blood and brain and victory."

[@zapperdoom4812]

jokes on you I've been listening to these on spotify at WORK AHAHAHAHAH

[@chrisframe2227]

“Mustard Mayonnaise-ium!”

[@mistercornell4755]

the bpl side of the force is a pathway to powers many consider..... unintelligible

[@zoptar]

Lord Tex! I am Zoptar of Fenris! I applaude this Roleplay thing you have endeavoured upon! it brings....! amusement in magnitude to accomodate my Fenrisian ale! I once again salute thee and the might of the "Black Pants Legion!!!!!" Not just for all they joys you bring me! But also for your Legions dedication to the Emprah! It would be my greatest HONOR!!!!!! to join in on of one those games! I realize this might never pass! nonetheless!!!!! Hail the Emprah!!!!! and Hail the mighty Deeds of the "Black Pants Legion" ......... END OF MESSAGE! AVE IMPERATOR!

[@DreadnoughtFiend]

Song- The Flames of Love by Smokey Bennett and The Hoops

[@torenwikberg]

These episodes are getting me through some shitty work days. Cheers.

[@matthewwoods6972]

Dale Gribble "I never breath unfiltered air."

[@lornbaker1083]

Grigglak Is like the tick. He understands falling. One of the most misunderstood human situations.Because when we are falling, we have a lack of control about us.And our brains simply try to seize up and fight against it rather than being like grigglak. Someone who understands that they are a person who is falling and maintains calm relaxed and the eye weary for every falling opportunity! for while gravity might be a harsh mistress to those who do not respect her. Those who can impress her are given gifts unspeakable to the ears of mortals. Because remember it is never the fall that gets you.It's always the inertia of impact with the ground caused by gravity. and gravity is a harsh mistress indeed

[@zydrate3539]

I was blown away that yall play Due Process. Amazing game, hope to see yall on one day.

[@TechPriestLovesToasters]

I ship the Captain and the Sergeant. Also, don't mace your food. It tastes like stale hot sauce and gives you heartburn. And yes, I used to be a CO too. It's disturbing how common this is.

[@lornbaker1083]

Are people really stupid? Or are they just so tongue-Rotted? That tobacco is not strong enough anymore ?

[@ranekeisenkralle8265]

Oh my.. This is hilarious. Thanks, folks.

[@jackcaffrey8493]

somehow " Griglak uncomfortable" is my favorite lne this episode

[@LouisShaw-Morfitt-cl2wy]

I'm flipping loving these, well good.

[@YorkGoldtoof]

Tex told Arch he wasn't going to support GW anymore, but I guess 40K is too fun to not play LOL

[@iller3]

well since it's actually Homebrew....both statements can be true in synchronicity

[@Lieutenant_Dude]

Grigglak did a Wily Coyote to the dignitary’s car.

[@decidialong7607]

1:52:55 some of the funniest shit I've seen, bith of those suck to deal with individually but together is hell

[@HumbleDirtMerchant]

Somebody tell goat you can make a gasmask voice by talking into a plastic cup.

[@AndrewJoyce86]

Griglak charge