THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

[@Alsmythical]

Jon: *enters her domain with malicious intent* Jude Perry: Ayyy lmao Jon budddddy my guyyy homie could you perhaps not????

[@fauxclaws]

actually made me laugh out loud for real, thank you

[@emmadoherty4282]

jon: don’t worry, i know the way martin: the house is on FIRE jon. FIRE.

[@falconstudios146]

Man Jude kept digging herself deeper so hard you'd think she was serving the Buried

[@Ghostrecall_M]

Now Jude is just some a wax puddle on the floor.

[@midnights2631]

This made me snicker

[@nateds7326]

I mean it makes sense. An avatar of pain and misery would probably not be used to telling someone what they want to hear.

[@aqualago7726]

Ooooh BURN!

[@schfuchs1]

The best comment!

[@F00f00cuddlyp00ps]

jon: *having his gay little revenge moment while martin chokes* us: martin is dying jon: this aint about him

[@imalittlelady]

This comment made me smile😭👍

[@nrpbrown]

Amazing how many of the avatars go into the rental/landlord business

[@toastghost9145]

So much boils down to control. Being powerless, someone with power over you with malicious intent... the rental business is an easy way to establish that dynamic.

[@someoneawesome8717]

Something about positions of power tend to be very attractive to people who would abuse them

[@zacksaykawlard1300]

Martin's: Just die already! Was so amusing. She really was trying to talk her way outta it but Martin didn't want it.

[@rorygiambalvo2955]

So what Martin's saying here is he COULD have put the s3 statements in the shredder to mess with Elias, but he chose to burn them, making the fire hurt Elias and the Institute instead of him. Giving him control of the thing that fears him. Also, Jon choosing to bring Martin into a place that will hurt and frighten him for revenge highlights his lack of humanity. But Martin screaming at Jude to die highlights his as well. They're both less human than they used to be, clinging to each other for what remains.

[@minuspi8372]

I dunno, I wouldn't blame anyone for wanting her to die. She's one of the worst, universally directly harmful avatars we ever meet and she loves to flaunt that.

[@abrahamstalker6785]

Fair enough. I would also kill Jude tho if she fucked up my hand

[@wakipaki7381]

"blah blah ominous blah" Martin is damn good at sinister monologues. Nailed it in 4 words.

[@serenaa8964]

jons like "dw i know a place" and the place is a burning apartment complex

[@cantaloupegodling352]

Burning Apartment Complex? Jon finds it quite simple, actually.

[@someoneawesome8717]

You know Martin's aversion to fire gives that scene where he was trying to keep Elias distracted some really interesting context because he decided "what can I do to hurt him the most" he chose to hit with something he despises. YA BOI LOVES JON MORE THAN HIMSELF

[@timberprospects]

i mean. not exactly a good thing. also thank god there's been character development and martin sets healthy boundaries now.

[@someoneawesome8717]

@@timberprospects I gotten to the last episode since commenting on this, I was not ok for a very long time

[@phosismyb1tch717]

I'd like to think of it as he loves jon more than he hates fire

[@ZoKonekoo]

The real villain of the show is landlords

[@mimkyodar]

I am kind of grumpy that Nolan avoided smiting. I mean, it's because of him that we got Jane Prentiss.

[@biancamlf288]

Off-topic, but a long bit ago there was someone in the comment section of an episode who claimed to be a landlord and I just wish I knew how they reacted to this episode. (Also, you're right, a landlord listening to TMA is odd. Up there with this one commenter making fun of they/them pronouns in another episode. How the hell do y'all find this anti-capitalist, queer podcast?)

[@YodasMessenger]

The real villains are landlords

[@hamburgerdog25]

Seems to be the most consistent theme to date. Could we perhaps also throw in managers and workplace superiors? The surveillance maintenance guy, the photographer guy, Jonah, that really weird film director, probably others

[@hamburgerdog25]

​@@biancamlf288 I think I know which comment you're talking about lmao. I want to say that was on the episode of Nolan's statement but I could be wrong. They got a bit touchy on the subject of "landlord culture" or some other. Really entertaining

[@maryagrimm8412]

martin asphyxiating in the background while Jon does his archivist thing is a mood

[@lilaboxx]

I just read archivist as antichrist

[@thrawnnoconnection6931]

@@lilaboxx pretty much both

[@Mark-fc7tu]

Dilly, dally.

[@freamoonlight9395]

I fell asleep during this episode, but two moments woke me up: 1. Jon terrified, saying "We're burning!" 2. and Martin's muffled voice shouting "Jon!" It wasn't a very nice experience

[@jujui4641]

I fell asleep during the episode about the grave digger dude and it was really nice actually I highly recommend it

[@TheProtoChimp]

I fell asleep during the episode where Helen comes back and Michael's screaming woke me up.

[@hamburgerdog25]

​@@TheProtoChimp that one is Another Twist. Its a season 3 episode, might be around 111? I'm only pretty sure about it because I went back around those episodes not long ago but I think I'm right

[@hamburgerdog25]

​@@TheProtoChimp oh actually its 101

[@racctti]

i fell asleep during it too and woke up whenever Martin started screaming to Jon about Jude

[@grumpygato99]

Never have the words "home is where the heart is" sounded more ominous.

[@Pr1nc3_R3my]

Jon picking his revenge over Martin was the second time in this series that I truly had a feeling of dread.

[@SunnyCapricious]

On an unrelated note, which flag is that in ur pfp? Im not good at remembering things

[@blackrabbit5048]

Aromantic

[@SunnyCapricious]

@@blackrabbit5048 thank u

[@achnav3762]

Yeah same ! I don't want John to lose what little of humanity he has left. Beside, what was the first time ?

[@jydeosaure6564]

Martin gave him the choice though, he wouldve chosen not to go through and ao he wouldve denied jon his revenge and the possibility of savinng those people, but on the other hand jon choosing revenge over martin is upsetging although maybe he doesnt think of it like that, maybe jon wasnt thinking thats what ir meanr

[@zinganeatsr4011]

Interesting to see that the Archavist subclass starts off really weak but becomes absolutely broken in the later levels

[@Noah-xc3vd]

Everytime John smites someone, I imagine them turning into coins like in Scott Pilgrim

[@gingerluigiwithnomoustache7411]

If you wanna date Martin you have to kill the 14 evil fears

[@erikluis1476]

I imagined the same thing, but they turn into a piece of paper that’s their statement 🪦

[@sawedoffshotgunz]

@@gingerluigiwithnomoustache7411 15, if you count the extinction.

[@Ur_Local_Ashole11037]

i imagine just the minecraft exp sound w/ like confetti or smth 💀

[@table2.0]

@@Ur_Local_Ashole11037or YIPPEEE XD

[@anomaliecosmos]

"The PLANET'S on FUCKING FIRE" -Martin astral projecting into Bill Nye

[@veggietalesfan65]

For once I was glad a statement was interrupted, the detail of being burned alive is unsettling to say the least

[@z.m.stewart1996]

“Will it burn me alive and kill me dead?”

[@conibal5045]

jonny sims really made me remember how terrified 6 year old me was of housefires huh

[@chiarag2756]

Same. As a child I was terrified of fire in general, then I kind of forgot. Thank god for jonny

[@epsyblue7714]

Imagine Jon and Martin carrying around a hit list with names of different avatars on it.

[@ZatClaire]

Jon walked up to Jude and said "Gay Pride is over, it's time for Gay Wrath"

[@beepeopeepeo2645]

Hilariously, the previous episode was Gay Envy

[@Deadflower019]

⁠@@beepeopeepeo2645 Luckily, we'll never have to worry about Gay Lust because 1- Jon is ace and 2- Jon said no kissing and I just _feel_ like sex would be even worse to record in an audio only medium.

[@atonedudeatsnotsubscribed8313]

@@Deadflower019dang i was hoping episode 200 would be them kissing for half an hour

[@Deadflower019]

@@atonedudeatsnotsubscribed8313 finished it not to long ago and I have GOOD NEWS! /j 🤣

[@coraa232]

I came here just for Jude Perry’s smiting 😌💅

[@jorjabruyette6479]

yes

[@KenKen3593]

not!Sasha was pissed off, died afraid. Jude Perry was afraid, died pissed off.

[@manhuntre]

What is it with the Fear Patrons and being bad landlords? These things really ARE evil.

[@germanerd6148]

You are aware that traditionally waiding into a flaming inferno is considered bad for your help

[@Mattriix]

The lesson of today is beware of landlords, they may be an avatar of an evil entity

[@ShayTheBean]

I do not doubt this

[@VelvetMetrolink]

May?

[@Deadflower019]

@@VelvetMetrolink June?

[@zalaxii4032]

@@Deadflower019 July?

[@iMirandaJae]

​@@zalaxii4032August?

[@malaizze]

Jonny played the long con and now he gets to make the villain capitalism. We fools thought this was a horror show but it’s actually a communism show!

[@Dee-jp7ek]

Oh no, landlords that listen to our grievances! Next thing you know it's free healthcare then BOOM! Thought crime.

[@tastychunks]

Health, safety, and environmental concerns sure have been fantastic in communist nations. Ask Stalin and the gulags, the Aral sea, etc. Education too, just ask Pol Pot. Corporatism is absolutely bad but so is communism.

[@malaizze]

@@tastychunks define communism

[@tastychunks]

@@malaizze When it comes to Marx, a classless stateless society where those who work control the means of what they produce. When it comes to the countries have tried to enact it, an authoritarian collectivist government where there is still a ruling class that holds power over the majority of people in said society.

[@malaizze]

@@tastychunks you’re half right. Communism is a stateless, classless, moneyless society in which the people collectively control the means of production, you got that part. You also are right that no nation has ever achieved that. The flaw in your argument comes with the fact that no nation has ever claimed to achieve it (and no, a group calling themselves a “communist party” doesn’t mean they achieved communism, being communist and living in a communist society are different). See, communists (at least, the statist variety) believe that to get to communism from capitalism, you must first have a “transitionary state,” this state is known as socialism. In this state, the workers are meant to own the means of production, there is no private property, there is still money and social class, and there is a government is supposed to act as a representative of the will of the working class- trying to collectivize industries and create a society which can eventually transition to communism. No country has ever claimed to complete that transition, and none ever have. That is partially due to many of them being violently suppressed by the CIA (see: Operation Condor), and partially due to some of them- like the USSR- adopting a Marxist-Leninist system of socialism (which is quite frankly terrible, and does quickly devolve into authoritarianism due to the specific governmental structure MLs believe in). Now, it is important to recognize that just because some communist ideologies (Marxist-Leninism to name the worst of them) have caused descent into authoritarian regimes, does not mean all of them will. Nazi Germany was capitalist, and yet its existence alone doesn’t discredit capitalism. The worst few examples of an ideology in practice do not define that ideology. There were plenty of other socialist nations in the past that were getting off to a good start (unfortunately we can’t see where they would’ve gone because they no longer exist due to the CIA, again, see: Operation Condor). There are hundreds of communist ideologies, and many of them simply haven’t been tested enough due to outside forces to know how they turn out. Currently, very few socialist states exist, and many nations which claim to be socialist are not (China has been state-capitalist since Deng and is now also effectively fascist, North Korea is something akin to a monarchy with the Kim family at the head, Cuba had been abandoning socialist policies for decades, etc). Now, remember how I specified “statist” communists at the very start of the last section? It’s time to talk about anti-statist communists, also called anarcho-communists. Anarcho-communism is a communist ideology which rejects the idea of a transition state, and seeks to directly establish communism by immediately abolishing state, class, hierarchy, and money. There admittedly haven’t been as many examples of this as with socialism and communism (due to it being a more radical theory), but there are a few from more “recent” (last hundred years or so) history that come to mind, that being the Ukranian Black Army (who were slaughtered by the USSR) and the CNT/FAI (who were executed by the Francoists). There are a few anarchist-adjacent libertarian socialist territories that currently exist, such as Zapatista Mexico and Rojava, but they still contain some semblance of a very limited state and may have money in some cases, so they don’t technically fall under anarchist communism. I personally am of this ideology as while I’d love for a socialist state to work and fully achieve a transition to communism, I believe there is a better chance of its establishment with anarcho-communism. This has been your crash course on communism and socialism. Thank you if you read this far. Going back to my original comment (I actually forgot we were talking about TMA here for a moment) this season does critique capitalism in many points (though that’s only really because it’s the most dominant economic system, the season itself is critiquing power structures in general) and this episode is specifically a critique of landlords, which are a part of capitalism. My original comment was mostly humorous so I simplified the concept to “haha TMA communism show now Jon critique capitalism.” I admit the term leftism would be more applicable considering communism refers to one category of leftist thought, but I think that saying communism sounded funnier. Oh god I wrote an essay by accident

[@fluffsnake]

Jon picking revenge over Martin... me no likey :c I fear for them... and what Annabelle has in store for them ;-;

[@luminanightfall4111]

Jon did ask him tho. He didn't want to put his revenge over Martin, but he said he didn't want to make that choice for him, so... But yeah, I'm wondering what Annabelle is scheming too...

[@fluffsnake]

@@luminanightfall4111 still, it felt like he knew Martin would let him choose and kinda engineered the whole situation... maybe not entirely intentional, but I do feel like he sometimes does that and convinces himself and others that he's a victim...

[@luminanightfall4111]

@@fluffsnake good point. I actually haven't really picked up on that...

[@achnav3762]

There was no hesitation. He knew what he was doing. It broke my heart.

[@ianbirchfield5124]

didn't The Spider like earth as it was? maybe she just wants to turn the world back to normal and is helping Jon and Martin achieve that?

[@notlurking2128]

Ah yes, the oh God capitalism is going to burn us all alive in our homes episode.

[@f_mva]

season 5: the many tasty flavours of capitalism

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@f_mva we had a little xenophobia back in that village ep

[@gibbcharron3469]

@@emilybarclay8831 Capitalism and Xenophobia are not mutually exclusive, mind.

[@ianbirchfield5124]

@@gibbcharron3469 neither are communism/socialism and xenophobia. one wrong opinion and the bloody nazis are back!

[@KJellyBeanut]

The landlord always said he was going to replace it/fix it. Feel that!

[@SorchaSublime]

This, THIS hit home to me. ADHD and depression means I often feel like im just sitting in my room while it deteriorates around me.

[@kehlcassidy9562]

Mood. I see you . Please have a spoon ^^

[@pestilence.and.plague]

Maybe the real monsters were landlords all along.

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

No maybe about it

[@alphalilly8207]

You know, I just noticed something. The low rumble ambient sound that plays in the background as Jon reads a statement is similar to the sound you would hear if you pressed the palms of your hands over your ears. I find that intresting, I noticed this parallel when Martin was calling to Jon and it was muffled, sorta like how when you cover your ears like that the sounds are muffled. The sound design in this podcast is genious. I cant state this enough XD

[@jellyrolls2765]

Spent the whole episode hoping that the landlord gets major prosecuted for criminal neglect

[@neither_emonor_punk9355]

as a child I once saw a house burn down and had a pretty strong fear of our apartment burning... and jon whailing "we're burning" was TERRIFYING auch that one hurt Martin literally slapped Jon outta the statement, thanks, Martin

[@jamesmortimer4016]

Today we learned, fire stronk

[@mariamatedei]

capitalism breeds murderous negligence

[@pyrosianheir]

Jon just fairly readily admitted something that WHOLE OTHER SERIES are built around getting the main character to admit... That whole Martin being more important than his revenge thing. And sure, that's because of the difference between the stories being told in this one compared to those, but still... I love it. Edit: Of course he still went in, arguably still manipulated it (maybe because of first being marked by the Web?) but still.

[@handinlovablehand]

surprising lack of comments on this so i'll take one for the team: nice

[@nemnyoom]

nice :>

[@Vernrot]

nice

[@cheersoli6746]

Nice

[@mariamatedei]

nice

[@azulBjort_1406]

Nice✌️

[@Bloomy_forest]

Yay! The murder spree continues. Also, I really love the start conversation on this episode too.

[@Bloomy_forest]

And there goes my favourite crazy arsonist.

[@rory1336]

TMA recognizes the true real world evil every time: landlords, bettwr known as landleeches

[@Catglittercrafts]

Martin knew Jon would choose revenge. Martin chose to follow.

[@stirrcrazy2704]

Jon moving away from the tape recorder to voice the parents was the funniest part of this

[@gmkar7766]

Not read Dante's Inferno, but this season is giving me major "Dante's Inferno" vibes

[@Catglittercrafts]

Kinda yea

[@emileyhoffman2288]

Fun fact: there's actually a shocking lack of fire in Dante's "inferno". Most of it is just dark or frozen

[@BuckerydogSchmuckeryDog]

is it because it's called Dante's INFERNO maybe?

[@BuckerydogSchmuckeryDog]

@@emileyhoffman2288 the devil just out chilling in a giant frozen lake is really funny to me for some reason

[@mr.kittybear9114]

i guess i’m the only one who understood it was probably a comparison to the domains and the circles of hell.

[@Companion92]

I was so unprepared for the statement to be interrupted

[@vladshadowking]

I was SO waiting for this episode! I still remember how she claimed the desolation winning in the end and the Eye being destroyed only for the eye to actually rule all in the end and her being a mere subject of it's attention. Great episode! To be honest, I was expecting more fear from her 😅

[@Catglittercrafts]

We had a water heater go out multiple times before our landlord came to replace it. When the install guy came he went into the ceiling attic area to attach the vent and discovered our landlord had never cut a hole in the roof so the hot water heater was venting into our attic roof. Scorch marks and everything. I was pissed. As soon as our contract was up we left.

[@sascharuler]

I… this episode was the one that got me. Not the fire or anything like that. The home part. Where home isn’t safe. I just recently ran away from an abusive/manipulative home and it hurts to hear what I’ve felt in that home echoed back to me. I need a moment…

[@sascharuler]

Heh... I forgot about this. Hey old me

[@capn_toad]

​@@sascharulerhey! first time listener here. hope things have gotten better for you

[@sascharuler]

@@capn_toad they have, very much so, ty!

[@capn_toad]

@@sascharuler glad to hear it!

[@sondosnagib6808]

Listening to this while sitting in my “home” makes me so uncomfortable

[@prakinha9248]

As per usual, the light of my day

[@fauxclaws]

really really really upset that jon chose to take martin through the fire, my heart dropped when I heard him say it. but I cannot deny that petty revenge is fun to listen to. I just hope jon doesn't get carried away with it

[@luxill0s]

This episode is one of the few that has genuinely upset me… Martin gasping and probably in pain in the background while Jon takes his time annoying Jude Perry… just end her already and escape with Martin

[@cupcaketv5673]

This just reminded me of, "When you grow up in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not."

[@achnav3762]

John, that was not nice ! Maybe you don't care about being burned alive but Martin was terrified ! He's not an Eldrich monstrosity like you! He can feel the pain! Seriously I was so worried about Martin when I was hearing him choke. And I'm always so scared that whoever they face might take it on him. I mean threatening Martin next to John is a death wish but it doesn't do anything if he's already here to kill you.

[@Cloud_Scape]

As someone who used to be homeless and continuously struggled with housing insecurity/abusive situations…. Jon’s monologue about home hit different

[@moonlight_scribe]

Sheesh I was really hoping Jude's end would be more cathartic...

[@avibingpotato]

Okay, Jude's smiting aside, please tell me I'm not the only one who was literally hyperventilating in the corner afraid that Martin was gonna die because he was choking so hard. Like I couldn't enjoy the episode because I was so worried.

[@Allieg806]

I kinda hate that martin is acting like jon is putting the burden of going in on him. Like no, hes asking your opinion to see how you feel about doing something, so he can make an informed decision taking your needs into consideration.

[@melissaharris3389]

It's part of why the Lonely was drawn to Martin. His passiveness and inability to really make his own decisions put his choices on to others and not taking responsibility for his own decisions.

[@Pietra-ml6tj]

Martin saying that burning is the worst pain for him bc of the burn marks and stuff probably because of how jon looked like after being exploded at the end of s3 and he was afraid of seeing him scarred like that again :(

[@bunnysenpai7471]

I love how jon is trying to figure out and justify his actions. Pretty sure he didn't "ask" her cause he didn't want to know. He wanted to belive she is lying or somehow she knew that somehow he was the victim that was merely played by the other entities who were all in on it marking Jon. Funny thing is besides Jonah and possibly the spider that first marked John I don't think any other entity knowingly marked him. How do I know Jon actually didn't just wanted revenge like he said he did? Cause this man has given his rib to save his colleagues even when they were afraid of him when he was inhuman. And I think he would have even gotten full body burns If it meant helping his friends. And he also gave an entire rib for a statement showing his curiousity and how much part of the eye he already was at that point. To save his friends and know more important information in that chaotic race of who could end the world with monsters roaming about among humans. Yeah that small hand burn was non fatal, and nothing. Especially compared to what all could have happened. Jon knows this and I doubt he is as powerhungry egoistic narcissist as Elias (love him for it tho) so I doubt he would have taken Martin through a burning building and felt burns all over him even with the safe route and no permanent damage. Just for revenge against a little hand burn. Oh I burnt my hand so I took my bf and myself through a burning building to kill the person that burnt my hand. Pls Jon isn't fooling anyone. Even if you assume he thought of saving the victims of the lightness flame he didn't save the victims of the end or Helen. And when he realized nothing changed after killing Jude. He didn't sound surprised. I am sure he genuinely wanted answers to know who else was involved who knew that marking him would result in the apocalypse maybe even coax out some info if they really knew. Save some burning victims as a bonus if it works. But that didn't end up happening. The real result was his guilt. He didn't want to belive that he was part of the result the world ended and wanted to belive they were all in on it the monsters that marked him. Ofc the actual knowledge and saving the victims would be sorta useful too If things had worked out. This is what Jon was probably thinking going in.

[@Badficwriter]

Makes sense. And remember, all the monsters knew things that would have helped Jon and all the archival assistants ages ago. A lot of trouble happened because they were in the dark about EVERYTHING. All the Eye marked have gotten screwed over by their ignorance. They're tired of it and want to know what the monsters know. You have to wonder why Gerard's knowledge of how to not be victimized by certain powers isn't in some handy list somewhere. Why is basic survival esoteric?

[@midnights2631]

I was concern for Martin the entire time he was coughing, like Jon, please get him out of there.

[@io_online]

Hey I like how it still has the sounds of the archive lights going up in the intro. Also, anyone else thinking about Hannah's baby right now? I am. I'm very sad

[@AJ-pq5zx]

Oh no :(

[@alphalilly8207]

Wait... wasnt the "statement monologue from MAG 165.. the one about the stranger, wasnt one of the people named Hannah? "I'm still Hannah" was the line in think.

[@kehlcassidy9562]

Please remind me again who Hannah is- besides someone on the creepiness carousel - I couldn't find her in the wiki...

[@iMirandaJae]

​@@kehlcassidy9562 Did you ever find out? I am feeling lost on this as well. 😅

[@geeegaewlwlwll9328]

this episode hits differently after taking a course on house fire safety

[@mimkyodar]

OK, look, so the place has a few defects, but it's OK. The landlord is going to get it fixed, it's fine.

[@Ares_Complex]

This static hurts my ears but I like it STATIC, not the fact that it hurts me

[@l0vely_di0r]

Martin is really starting to like murder

[@triforceofcourage100]

I wonder how many died begging the same way she did

[@nickbruce6859]

Oh wow. I thought this series was done. Its neat I caught up !

[@foodforfaeries]

She sounded like jumping on a metroidvania enemy when she went 😭

[@drit103]

Jon - imma end you Jude - haaa wellll nooooo, piss offfffff

[@ISaaczz]

dude.. this was so.. idk man, just the fact that jon choose his revenge over martin kinda is feeding the fear that jon doesn't need martin, and jon keeping martin in the dark for the most part, it's just, idk this is not very health? at least in my point of view, martin clearly sounded terrified of going there and he had the choice to not to, but he still went with jon's choice, like martin, bestie, please stop burning yourself to keep everyone warm (no pun intended)

[@darwi_briste4624]

When I heard Jude try to quantify Martin, it gave me flashbacks of the television series "Sanctuary", when Adam Worth (played by Ian Tracey) called Robin Dunne's character Will Zimmerman 'concubine' to Amanda Tapping's Helen Magnus. Great show! Loved the memory and the episode here!

[@ggggggg5987]

maybe the real horrors where the landlords we made along the way

[@jamesmortimer4016]

Hi Alex!

[@el.s.bel.s]

Jon really putting the effort into those voices lmao

[@Spooky-Lord]

noting that the sounds used for the screaming and such sounded like the sounds they'd use for hell in judgement houses when i was young was how i found out most of my peers don't even know what those are 💀

[@kehlcassidy9562]

I do not know what they are. What are they ? Edit: welp, I just googled it. Holy shit, I'm so sorry you had to go through that *hugs.

[@RevelationsPrimo]

Her death sounded Bleepy-Bloopy...so, when Jude perished, I instinctively said: G A M E. O V E R.

[@Greenlightning909]

Just Had My Whole Town Burned Down A Couple Months Back So This One's A Little Rough For Me.

[@stevenredacted1322]

[EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE UK, NEAR JUDE PERRY’S DOMAIN] [TAPE CLICKS ON.] [THE BACKGROUND IS A-CRACKLING. IT SOUNDS LIKE FIRE. UNDER IT ALL, IS SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING - AT LEAST, UNTIL YOU REALIZE THAT THEY’RE SCREAMS.] ARCHIVIST Martin? Still with me? MARTIN (very shaky) Y-Y-Ye-Yeah, Yeah. (beat) Oh, Jesus! ARCHIVIST Some fears don’t need to be intensified. Only manifested. MARTIN Are we even going to be able to make it through all that? [SOMETHING CRUMPLES; IT SOUNDS SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN FLOPPING CARDSTOCK AND THUNDER.] ARCHIVIST It’s a maze in there - deliberately so. People running, desperately struggling for fire escapes only to find them blocked. We won’t get lost, though. I know the route. MARTIN That’s… not really what I was getting at, John. ARCHIVIST Go on. MARTIN …Seriously? You don’t - It’s on fire, John; it’s - ARCHIVIST (overlapping) Mm - MARTIN (overlapping) - it’s a burning. Building! ARCHIVIST Yes, it is. MARTIN That’s on fire! ARCHIVIST Yes. MARTIN Right. You are aware that traditionally, wading into a flaming inferno is actually considered bad for your health! ARCHIVIST (a bit tired; we’ve been here before) Yes, Martin. It’ll be fine. MARTIN Alright, I just wanted to check. So. Okay. We’re planning to go through… all this, so I’m guessing the fire can’t actually burn us! Right? John? ARCHIVIST Um… MARTIN (please say yes) John? ARCHIVIST (how to say this?) Um… mm - MARTIN John. ARCHIVIST I-It’s complicated. MARTIN Well, if you want me to go in there with you, then I suggest you find a way to make it - simple! (firm) Yes or no, can that fire hurt us? ARCHIVIST Define ‘hurt.’ MARTIN (no-nonsense) Will the fire feel hot to me? ARCHIVIST Yes. MARTIN Will it cause me lots of pain if I touch it? ARCHIVIST Yes, though not as much as - MARTIN (overlapping, increasingly frantic) Will it burn me alive and kill me dead? ARCHIVIST No. It can’t do us any permanent harm - once we’re out, we’ll be fine. MARTIN (ever-so-slightly shaky) You are aware that intense pain can do you loads of harm, even if there’s no, you know, physical injury - ARCHIVIST (overlapping, snapping) Yes, I know, okay! (immediate sigh) I’ll take us through the parts that are more… subdued. [MARTIN TAKES A BREATH TO START TO SAY SOMETHING; THE ARCHIVIST ROLLS ON.] ARCHIVIST It goes in phases; sometimes there are whole apartments that aren’t actively on fire for… hours! MARTIN (flat) How reassuring. ARCHIVIST (snapping again) Well, it’s the best I can do! MARTIN You’re sure there isn’t another way? [HE SIGHS. SILENCE, BUT FOR THE BACKGROUND CRACKLING.] MARTIN Yeah, I know, the journey will be the journey, blah blah ominous blah. ARCHIVIST I’m sorry. MARTIN It’s fine. I know you wouldn’t take me through if we didn’t actually need to go through, so… [SILENCE - THEN, A SOFT EXHALE.] MARTIN What? ARCHIVIST Well… MARTIN John, is there another way? ARCHIVIST I mean - sort of? Maybe? MARTIN (realizing) That turn. You - You took a hard turn after the roots back there; I knew that was a thing! Why are we here? ARCHIVIST It’s just - when you said - MARTIN (overlapping, hard) John, why have you taken us here? ARCHIVIST Jude Perry. [SILENCE.] ARCHIVIST This is where Jude Perry rules. [ANOTHER SILENCE.] MARTIN That’s the one who burned your hand, isn’t it? ARCHIVIST Yes. [SLIGHT PAUSE, FILLED BY ANOTHER THUNDER-LIKE CRACK AND CRUMBLE.] MARTIN Right. I just assumed it would be… who was that landlord guy? ARCHIVIST Arthur Nolan. He’s here; he has a part of it, but it’s… huge. Bigger than you could believe. There’s so much fear in there. MARTIN But we’re not going after him, are we. ARCHIVIST No. [PAUSE.] ARCHIVIST You said you were onboard. MARTIN I was! I am. I just thought - ARCHIVIST (overlapping) It wouldn’t hurt? MARTIN That we’d be safe. ARCHIVIST I never said - MARTIN (overlapping) I know! I know, okay, I just - (bracing exhale) Look, I j,just - don’t want to get burned, all right? It’s, it’s like my least favorite pain ever. ARCHIVIST Is that - a joke? MARTIN (a bit faster, a bit shaky) No, no, okay? I, I legitimately hate burns, alright? They’re, they’re awful, and they scar horribly, and they just - it - it just makes me sick; I, I hate it. Hate it! ARCHIVIST Alright. If you really don’t want to do this, w-we can go another way. MARTIN (somewhat smaller) Really? ARCHIVIST Really. My revenge… (long sigh) Well, let’s just say you’re more important. [PAUSE.] MARTIN (inhale) It’s not just your revenge though, is it? Destroying her… it would help all those people in there, wouldn’t it? ARCHIVIST Maybe? It’s… (inhale) Like I said, I can’t see the future. It wouldn’t free them, if that’s what you’re asking. ‘Free’ doesn’t really exist in this place. MARTIN Apart from us. ARCHIVIST I suppose. In a sense, though - (dry laughing) How much of that is because we are trapped in our own quest to - MARTIN (overlapping) Okay, let’s, let’s not dive into another - ontological debate right now. Not here. ARCHIVIST Fair enough. So are we going in or not? MARTIN You’re - I, you’re asking me? ARCHIVIST I should have told you before, so - I leave the decision to you. You know my feelings on the matter. MARTIN I… do? ARCHIVIST I - Oh, right: I want revenge on Jude Perry. I want to… smite her. Make her feel what - (sigh) What all her victims felt. But I’m not willing to force you to suffer for it. MARTIN Okay. So it’s - (brief pause) I have to choose, do I? ARCHIVIST Or we could sit here. MARTIN …No. No, I’m not going to choose; I don’t, I don’t think that’s a fair decision to put on me. It’s your revenge; your choice, not mine. [SILENCE.] ARCHIVIST Fine. We go in. [THAT CRUMPLING AGAIN.] MARTIN (inhale, shaky, a bit surprised) Al-Alright then! ARCHIVIST We’ll be fine. MARTIN J- Lead the way. [THEY START WALKING.] [TAPE CLICKS OFF.] [EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE UK, JUDE PERRY’S DOMAIN] [TAPE CLICKS ON.] [A FLUORESCENT LIGHT HUMS.] [THE CRACKLING OF FLAMES IS CLOSER, HERE. MORE DISTINCT. THERE’S A RUSHING SOUND, LIKE HISSING AIR - A THINNING FIRE EXTINGUISHER, PERHAPS?]

[@stevenredacted1322]

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) Home. Such a simple word. Home - not house, not dwelling, not residence or address, not domicile or flat or lodging or abode or apartment or property or accommodation. Home. A structure of brick or wood or concrete or canvas. A box in which you pack yourself away when the long day is done. A book neatly closed and placed snugly on a shelf. There’s no place like home. An Englishman’s home is his castle. Home is where the heart is. [IN THE BACKGROUND, INDISTINCT WORDS COME THROUGH, SEEMINGLY OVER A LOUDSPEAKER.] And home is where that heart can be hurt most severely, because within that place of safety, the warm and welcoming embrace of the cramped and well-trod floors whose layout has ingrained itself into your soul, there you are most vulnerable. Your home is an extension of yourself, as much as you will let it be, and the place and the people and the things that form it and fill it are as much a part of you as your blood. As your bile. As your tears. Perhaps you know the feeling that comes rushing over you when your home is compromised, invaded, corrupted. Perhaps a burglary gives lie to the promise of safety you took from a flimsy front door and a cheap lock. Maybe the dirt and grime builds up to such a degree that the stench begins to infect your soul, or an infestation of moths or ants or bed bugs stretches itself throughout the very structure of your home until it feels like your skin is squirming with them. You may even find yourself living with a hostile, toxic presence, whether they be family, friend, or stranger, that poisons your home, turning blessed relief and rest from the tribulations of the world into a choking fog of anxiety and fear. Such are the dangers of a rotten home. But how many truly control their home? How many have extended their soul into the walls of a place that exists only at the whim of those who would let them die in the street were it not for the gain that can be squeezed from them. A home that you can not control, that you cannot even be sure will exist with the turning of the seasons. Where stability and peace rot in calamity, exist only at the behest of faceless names that lace themselves throughout labyrinthine paperwork, chaining you to the front of a truck whose motion you cannot control. Do you smell smoke? Do you smell the creeping ruin of a life, a stalking creature of unmaintained electricals, of cheap insulation, of cutting corners and missing fire alarms and unenforced safety regulations? Do you see it creeping under the door to your bedroom as you sleep, the burning coals of its eyes regarding you in the supposed safety of your home, not indifferent but hungry, eager to take everything from you, to burn down your life in any sense it can reach. Can you hear the crackling promise of kindled despair that it whispers into your uneasy, dreaming ear? Sabina senses it, feels it drawing near. How long has she lived here? How long have these cramped, dingy rooms in the back of this - sprawling rundown tenement been the place her heart calls home? She cannot recall, but long enough for her to grow into love for it, to cherish every rusted appliance, every crumbling piece of plasterboard, every flickering lightbulb. Even as the widening cracks and spreading mold fill her heart with dread, they gently, slowly, inch by inch approach the room where her parents lie sleeping. Sabina - cannot picture their faces, but knows that should they wake to see the state of the place, their anger would be blistering. She sits there on the ratty, torn sofa, trying to bring herself to stand up, to do something about the place that is crumbling around her. But she is locked there by the sure knowledge that anything she touches could result in the loss of any small stability she has. She barely notices how hot her tears are becoming. Which sense is the first to warn her? What nerves are the first ones to fire the white-hot bolts of agonizing panic through Sabina’s body? Does she smell it, the rising smoke? A slow and subtle scent, like someone’s burned their toast, and - is that hair? Does she hear it, the distant roaring, like the soft growl of a lion who never stops approaching, spotted with shrieks and screams that might just be her imagination? Does she see it, the glow of the flames, pulsing slow and steady, the dull orange of old streetlights, but somehow strong enough to push through the cracks around the front door? Does she feel it, the rising prickly heat, like she has sat too close to an electric radiator for too long, and her skin has begun to redden and blossom before the bars into thick beads of sweat? Or does she taste it in the back of her throat, the sick, queasy terror that tells her she knows exactly what is coming. Because it’s all happened before. Once again, the handle of the front door begins to glow red-hot, the metal bending and distorting as it melts. From the crack underneath, the fire drags itself forward, curling and caressing the rough coir of the mat that cheerily announced ‘Welcome Home!’ Its movements are flickering, rhythmic, almost hypnotic, and as her mind screams at her to stand, to run, to escape, she simply sits there, eyes locked on the dancing lights emerging around her front door. She smiles the same smile she did when she was a child, staring at the bonfire at camp, though every nerve in her body is alight with fear. Then the welcome mat ignites completely, in an instant turning from a gentle smoulder to a gout of flame, and whatever strange compulsion holds her in place snaps like a wire cable. She leaps to her feet and starts screaming, calling for help for her parents. She runs to the door to their room but as she approaches she can already feel the heat wafting out from behind it. She can hear them crying out in agony, begging for her to save them as their pain crescendos. She can smell the oily reek of charred skin as they call to her: “We’re burning! We’re burning! Oh please, god, Sabina; we’re burning!” She grabs the handle, ignoring the sizzling of her own flesh and pushing through the lancing needles of torment to force it down, trying to free her unseen parents. But the door latch never really aligned properly, you see. The landlord always said he was going to get it fixed, and - it refuses to open. [WE HEAR ALL OF THIS AS IT’S HAPPENING IN THE BACKGROUND, MINUS ANY ACTUAL VOICES. THE SIZZLING, THE GROWING FIRE, THE CREAKING AND GROANING OF THE FLAT - IT’S THERE. WE’RE THERE.] Sabina pounds helplessly on the smoking wood as the voices of her parents go quiet. Pushing down a grief that threatens to overwhelm her senses, she charges to the window, rushing to reach the old fire escape beyond. The window frame never really opened properly, you see. The landlord always said he was going to get it fixed. And it judders as she tries to force it open, freezing a few inches from the bottom. Sabina pushes all her might into it but the glass cracks and shatters, peppering her with razor-sharp shards, cutting her face to ribbons. She stumbles, trying to climb through the jagged window regardless, and she can feel the cool iron of the fire escape, a moment of blessed relief that shines through her suffering. But the fire escape was always really rusty, you see. The landlord always said he was going to replace it. And at the first tiny bit of weight she puts upon it, she can feel the fastenings pop out of the old brick one by one, and her salvation tumbles away into the impossible distance below. What floor was her flat on again? Surely it can’t be this high. Falling back into the inferno that is now her home, Sabina dashes over to the laughably small fire extinguisher the landlord begrudgingly provided. It is sputtering and empty. She runs to the sink, to the tap that has always made that unpleasant grinding sound, and turning it, unleashes only a slow trickle of a thick, dark, oozing substance that smells faintly of gas. Limping and desperate, she turns to see her furniture in flames, the bookshelves full of memories that she can’t quite place but knows are precious to her curl and float away as ash. The photos on the wall of her family - [A STATIC BEGINS TO RISE. AND THEN:] MARTIN (faint in the background, but shouting) John! ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) (continuing) - whose faces seem indistinct but she knows that - MARTIN (background) John! [THE STATIC IS STILL STEADILY RISING IN VOLUME.] ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) (continuing) - she loves, begin to blacken as the glass - MARTIN (background) John! [HE COUGHS.] ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) (continuing) - pops out of the frame. Her home is being eaten alive by - MARTIN (overlapping, coming into focus) John, you idiot! Please go back! ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) (continuing) - this devouring Desolation, and she - MARTIN JOHN! [HE SLAPS THE ARCHIVIST.] [SOMEWHERE, ANOTHER FIRE ESCAPE CRUMPLES. PEOPLE SCREAM.] MARTIN She’s here. [A THUNDER-LIKE CRACKLING.]

[@stevenredacted1322]

ARCHIVIST Hello, Jude. JUDE PERRY Fancy seeing you both here. (sarcasm) To what, exactly, do I owe the pleasure - the honor - of being graced by the great and powerful Archivist, harbinger of this new world and his, mm… (deliberately obtuse) …valet? ARCHIVIST Naturally, we came to see you. [JUDE INHALES.] JUDE What a treat. [MARTIN COUGHS IN THE BACKGROUND. IT’S WHEEZY.] ARCHIVIST I have a question for you. I’ve been wondering: did you know what you were doing? [MARTIN CONTINUES TO COUGH; HE’S PICKING UP STEAM.] JUDE Excuse me? ARCHIVIST When you burned me. Marked me with… Did you know it would lead to - all this? JUDE (unimpressed) You came all this way just to ask that? ARCHIVIST Answer the question. [MARTIN COUGHS AGAIN.] JUDE If you want to know so badly, why don’t you just reach into my head and pull it out? ARCHIVIST Because I want to hear you say it. Willingly. JUDE What difference does it make if - ARCHIVIST (snapping) Just answer the damn question! [SLIGHT PAUSE.] JUDE No. I had no idea. ARCHIVIST So why did you do it? JUDE Why d’you think? Because I wanted to hurt you. [MARTIN COUGHS.] JUDE Because you were annoying and I didn’t like you, so I hurt you. ARCHIVIST And if you had? JUDE But I didn’t. Look, I don’t care, okay? [MARTIN KEEPS COUGHING.] JUDE I just - I don’t. Raking over the past like it matters, like it means anything. The past is dead, Archivist: ashes in the wind. We’re. Here. Now. And that’s it. ARCHIVIST I suppose you’re right. [COUGHING.] JUDE So the real question is: What happens now? [THE FIRE RUSHES UP IN VOLUME AND INTENSITY.] MARTIN John, look out! JUDE What’s wrong? Scared of a little flame? [MARTIN BREATHING COMES OUT SHAKY, SCRAMBLED.] JUDE (delighted) Oh, you are, aren’t you? [SHE LAUGHS.] JUDE How pathetic. MARTIN (high) Screw you! ARCHIVIST Leave him alone. JUDE (to Archivist) You’re not scared, though, are you, Archivist? ARCHIVIST I can feel the pain of every person you have trapped here. My own isn’t all that different. JUDE Yeah, but you like seeing their pain, don’t you? Their fear? [BRIEFEST OF PAUSES.] ARCHIVIST Yes. JUDE You and your stupid Eye, god, you make me sick! Lording it over everybody like you own the place? You’re just leeches. Voyeurs. Parasites on the real monsters. [MARTIN COUGHS.] ARCHIVIST Enough. [BEAT.] JUDE (whatever) Fine. Just messing around! Wouldn’t want to keep you from your oh-so-special business, your holiness. ARCHIVIST I wouldn’t worry about that: I’m right where I want to be. JUDE What’s that supposed to mean? ARCHIVIST I’m here for you, Jude. To end you. JUDE What? No! No way. [MARTIN’S BREATH HITCHES, AND THEN HE’S WHEEZING AGAIN.] JUDE You won. What would be the point of… (trailing off) You’re bluffing. ARCHIVIST You know I’m not. You’re already afraid. [THE CRACKLING OF THE FLAMES INCREASES IN INTENSITY.] JUDE Oh, I see. I get it. You finally get a sniff of power, and the first thing you do is try to settle some old scores. [SHE DOESN’T SOUND AFRAID. MARTIN CONTINUES TO COUGH.] JUDE (enjoying this) Play the big man; get off on good old-fashioned petty revenge. ARCHIVIST (not in the mood for games) I’d have thought that was a mindset you would appreciate. Now, feel it. All the terror and pain you’ve inflicted. JUDE (shut up) Oh, piss off - [SHE CUTS HERSELF OFF WITH A GASP. SHE’S FEELING IT.] [WHEN SHE STARTS TALKING THIS TIME, SHE’S BARGAINING.] JUDE Look, look. Wait. Right? I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have burned your hand. [HER WORDS ARE ALMOST SLURRED.] ARCHIVIST (unforgiving) No. You shouldn’t have. JUDE (slowly) Please don’t kill me, I - sure, I - [MARTIN COUGHS.] JUDE - moan about the Eye; who doesn’t? But - we’ve won, both of us! And that’s great. [IN THE BACKGROUND, EVER SO SLIGHTLY UNDER ALL THE FIRE, WE HEAR THE HIGH-PITCHED WHINE OF THE ARCHIVIST’S NEW TOP LAYER OF STATIC. THE SQUEAKY ONE, THE ONE THAT SIGNALS SOMETHING BIG.] JUDE If I’d known, would I still have marked you? Yes. I would. I’m… happy in this world. I belong here. And so do you. [MARTIN COUGHS. AND COUGHS, AND COUGHS, AND COUGHS. IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S HACKING HIS OWN LUNGS UP. IT SOUNDS BAD.] [THE STATIC IS BUILDING.] [AS JUDE KEEPS GOING, HER BREATHS COME IN GASPS AND] JUDE (somewhat of a laugh) Listen, listen. You’re enjoying this, right? Of course you are. You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people. You want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you. [BUT EVEN AS SHE OFFERS, THE BEGINNINGS OF THE GLITCHING THAT WARNS IT’S ALL ABOUT TO BE OVER START TO FLICKER INTO AUDIBLE TERRITORY.] MARTIN (half screaming) Just DIE already! JUDE You’re not - better - (audibly struggling) than - me! [SHE YELLS. THE GLITCHING CRESCENDOS. IT BURSTS, JUST LIKE IT HAD WITH THE NOT!SASHA.] [AND THEN, QUICKER THAN IT CAME, IT FADES.] [THE ARCHIVIST EXHALES.] [MARTIN’S BREATHS COME FAST AND SHAKY.] MARTIN Is it? - ARCHIVIST It’s over. [THE FLAMES STILL CRACKLE ON.] ARCHIVIST She’s gone. MARTIN The fires are still here. Doesn’t look like much has changed. ARCHIVIST No. I suppose not. [ANOTHER FIRE ESCAPE CRUMPLES.] MARTIN Let’s just get out of here. [TAPE CLICKS OFF.]

[@thistleywistley681]

@@stevenredacted1322 thank youu

[@faxonii]

thank you!!

[@screamingpandas1452]

i could never have imagined season 1 jon doing any if this. like DAMN.

[@giisides2870]

i’ve never been here so early for an episode i’m so excited!

[@L_Aster]

nice

[@drit103]

Theyre such a healthy couple

[@ЕриетиХадзимихаил]

Is no one gonna talk about the "we're burning we're burning" because that was so funny to me

[@AmazingAroAce]

i don't like that jon picked revenge over martin

[@Catglittercrafts]

Martin knew he would

[@jet210]

169 n i c e

[@joaovictorbastianini7878]

Só quero dizer que fui muito feliz nesse episódio nossa TAVA ESPERANDO MUITO POR ESSE MOMENTO

[@VelvetMetrolink]

Smite the landlords.

[@noamratner8058]

Nice

[@amelias._]

landlords 😔

[@l0vely_di0r]

8:24 I was wearing a shirt that had the earth on it and said home is were the heart is I don’t know how to feel about that

[@wonderwhatsgonnahappen579]

Bro, i was reminded of "Hey Jude" by the Beatles while Jude was literally dying,

[@_kai2702]

nice 2: electric boogaloo

[@racoon_in_ankhmorpork]

There seems to be recurring theme of awful landlords throughout this podcast; I wonder whether it is born out of a personal vendetta of someone on the creative team… xD

[@VelvetMetrolink]

Or the reality that landlords are awful.

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

@@VelvetMetrolink I came to make this same comment.

[@dr.zespert]

ITS ON FIRE JON!

[@MrJack8700]

You guys really didn’t need to bring her back

[@Lord_Malkior]

Alex's sound-scaping in this episode is impressively uncomfortable. Made me listen to it twice.

[@epiphanierosenstern5635]

I wanna say that I got terrible fear of heat things, like hot water But not fire I think it's funny

[@kehlcassidy9562]

So, are your most terrifying moments all Martin making tea?

[@ultrawandit]

oh jude's dead, anyways, i just realised all the avatars are in the uk for some reason. guess that just reflects that it's one of the most miserable places in the world /hj unless there can be multiple avatars and im stupid

[@kehlcassidy9562]

A lot of the Avatars ae in the UK [maybe because the Institute is there] but Gertrude did say in an earlier episode that the Hunt was rising in North America. Also the Slaughter seems to be worldwide, and the Dark was in Norway...