The Mark E Smith Guide To Writing Guide

Mark E Smith - 1983
Hello I’m Mark E Smith and this is The Mark E Smith Guide To Writing Guide
Day-by-day breakdown
Day One: Hang around house all day writing bits of useless information on bits of paper
Day Two: Decide lack of inspiration due to too much isolation and non-fraternisation. Go to pub. Have drinks
Day Three: Get up and go to pub. Hold on in there as style is on its way. Through sheer boredom and drunkenness, talk to people in pub
Day Four: By now, people in the pub should be continually getting on your nerves. Write things about them on backs of beer mats
Day Five: Go to pub. This is where true penmanship stamina comes into its own as by now, guilt, drunkenness, the people in the pub and the fact you’re one of them should combine to enable you to write out of sheer vexation. To write out of sheer vexation
Day Six: If possible stay home. And write. If not go to pub
Using this method, this is a poem I wrote called London
I’d just got over to London, get me a pint of your fine old British ale
London
Decadent backbone of former empire
Spittle chinned Southerner looking forward to next holiday
Digitale Croydon, fourteen pound per hour
An immigration backlash type situation here
And there’s an Indian clerk in the backroom with a literature degree
His boss is a flat roofed architect over-bathed, intense
Project Victoriana Punish
His clothes are flapping United Nations
Japanese pants, odd boots, Euro shirts
Is no shirt, his mind is Parisian
Fifties situationalist
and ‘neath his designs you have no choice
Stay where you are
He is looking down on you from his tech drawing board
Take the chicken run, run to the bog
You can do it
Do not
Warning! rumours of grey cancer builders greatly exaggerated
Manchester
Dear TV Times,
Your majesties, I have concocted, through the noble invention and blarney craft of the humble Northerner, a system where by constant annoyance by the telephone can be erased. This entails explosive charges, left to me by a dead sailor from Bury, being wired up under every windowsill, in close proximity to my ears. When phones ring and are inconvenient to the ears I just press table lamp-like button next to my bed and they blow up. I got the idea from a book
Yours sincerely,
Mr Reg Varney
Please note: all herbs is available from P.O. Box 935 GTV Manchester. Once you get a bit of pain I was splitting myself, them hilly-billies
Manchester is
Manchester ship
cringing for punishment

[@saguaro]

I can't get enough of his "I got the idea from a bóoke" at 3:19

[@keironhiggspoet]

"true penmanship stamina"

[@malcolmmitchell6529]

Thank you sir.

[@ihavenoquarrelwithyou3249]

"Decadent backbone of former empire"

[@UnworthyPapaLazaru]

One day I’m going to try this.

[@punkfootofnose]

Background poem to Garden

[@davidb8731]

Day Seven: Smile and do some Gardening

[@patchtchouliheavn]

primo

[@malcolmmitchell6529]

Refund

[@evangelinholst7066]

Promo*SM 💪