The Most Dangerous Kind Of Women To Date: Lesbian Advice

[@betsycossaboom3721]

I knew this about my girlfriend before we even got together. I was attracted to her, and I really thought that I could change her, but I was wrong! When I came to the actual realization that she would never give me what I want, I was devastated - not because of the actual realization of it, but I was mourning the fantasy of who I wished she was. I created this fantasy in my mind, and it blew up in my face. It was a good learning experience that I had to go through.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

I had the same experience when I had my heart broken for the first (and second) time. I understand. Love gets so much easier and more fulfilling when we have our eyes wide open and see the truth. 💪🏼

[@francesmorris8881]

I relate ❣️

[@jeannebourgeois]

@@jordanamichellegutman Absolutely true.

[@prajjalitabora8613]

You guys are fools... 😂

[@daniellegathings7651]

@@prajjalitabora8613 you don’t have room to judge just hush

[@IsabelleMorciglio]

Good to watch every time you think of texting or calling her. Be strong sisters ♀️🏳️‍🌈♀️

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Be strong!

[@selenem3384]

if she makes you cry each time you call her ====> red flags...🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@Princess_0f_Trees]

“It’s so yummy to be loved the right way.” Amen!

[@AlphaOmega888]

only the top 1% seem to get this

[@marcellemaleson]

That’s so true! I once heard that love is like the stock market: you should only invest if stocks are high.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

That makes sense, Marcelle. Love is definitely a big investment of energy and emotion and time (our most precious resources.) Falling for someone feels so exciting and hard to resist. But we can suffer a major set-back if we ignore red flags.

[@RapidBlindfolds]

polyamory especially is like high risk bonds. if you win at polyamory, you can end up in a throuple where everyone is equally attracted to eachother, you don't have to choose one person over someone else, like you end up doing in monogamy. this is perhaps more logical and natural, because when you're not in a relationship, how often do you have a crush on just one woman at a time? i never do that. its way more often that you crush on 3/4/5 different girls at the same time, as a diversification stragegy. so how awesome would it be if you didn't have to choose any of your crushes they ALL liked you back? however, the greater the stakes are for potential returns, the greater the stakes are for potential losses - there is less security in polamory, there is less language of ultimate commitment and vows exchanged, so if you end up with nothing, you don't end up with anyone, you can't be mad because nothing was ever promised.

[@OatmealTheCrazy]

Funnily, when stocks are high is when you generally want to sell. You actually want to invest when they're low to get them cheap 😂 Still, it's a good message though.

[@marcellemaleson]

@@OatmealTheCrazy I believe you understood what I meant

[@OatmealTheCrazy]

@@RapidBlindfolds For me, that "how often do you have a crush on just one woman" is basically always. I don't feel a deep romantic connection to anyone else while I'm in a relationship. Obviously not saying my experience is better or yours is invalid or anything, but, there definitely are different camps

[@deplorableeye1628]

My first visit. I am finding lesbian dating coaches give the best advice, are classy, intelligent, and entertaining. Perfect for men as well.

[@SugarJoiko]

I’m surprised this doesn’t have 1,000s if views. This has to be the best breakdown on how to properly handle and accept rejection. Amazing talk. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Thank you! 🙌🏼💃🏻

[@a.j.lilianmenashe5581]

I agree with your observations. Wish I'd heard them when I was younger, but it's great that there's more positivity in talking about relationships. The one thing that I would add is this: this dynamic in your vid combined with someone who wants you all to themselves. So they want to be emotionally unavailable, but they want to know where you are and what you're doing if you start to show even the slightest hint that they're not the center of your universe.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Thank you for your comment. What you are describing (emotionally unavailable women who are jealous and controlling) sounds very toxic!

[@marshmallow13585]

Im not in a relationship with her anymore, mostly because we would make plans and she'd totally blow me off. But one thing that you said, hit it on the nail. She often spoke about how she just stares at pictures of me and how close she feels to me. At first that seemed very strange to me since we mostly just text. But now im realizing I have become more of a fantasy, so in her head, were together a lot, but in reality she's not physically or emotionally here for me.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Actions speak louder than words. If she's not physically or emotionally there for you, it doesn't matter what she says. Trust your instincts. 🙏🏼

[@alisamosley4587]

Girl where have you been?! Man had I ran across your channel before I could have avoided all of this. I was on this very rollercoaster for damn near a decade of my life. I thought my love would be enough and went through so much with now my ex wife. We've been divorced now for 2 years and I'm still on this unwanted ride. Now that I'm working on me and putting boundaries up she's not liking that and I'm just fine with it. I don't want to be with her ever again in life. You just solidified that for me with just this video. Thanks sis love you bunches 😊

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Good for you, working on yourself and putting up boundaries 💪🏻 And thanks so much for the love! 🙏🏼💃🏻

[@IsabelleMorciglio]

Lol had to come watch it again cause I needed emotional support

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Lol, aww. it's always here anytime you need emotional support! Happy the video was able to help :)

[@ranihindustani8395]

I agree emotionally unavailable ones are the most dangerous. Sometimes i have a hard time distinguishing who is emotional unavailable compared to someone too busy to be there for you in a relationship. Like if i am dating a single mother who has a few kids but she is busy with them and tired resulting in delayed responses to me does it mean she is emotionally unavailable or should i readjust my expectations for her? what if a woman is hot/cold like one moment she is available for you and the next moment she chooses spending time with her friends/getting marijuana over you? And you just want to spend time with her because you have driven a few hours to be with her

[@jordanamichellegutman]

These are good questions. A woman who would choose to be with her friends after you’ve driven hours to be with her is probably not as interested as we deserve to have someone be in us, when we give our heart. Especially if she’s also hot and cold. She’s either emotionally unavailable or emotionally disinterested. Either way, we deserve better. But when it comes to the single mother who has kids and less free time, it sounds like she might be “unavailable” for reasons that are not emotional… And that might leave us extremely unsatisfied, even if she truly has the best intentions (and even if she “wishes” she had more free time to connect and spend time together with us.) While it’s very important to be reasonable and make compromises in relationships, that doesn’t mean we need to completely readjust our expectations and give up on having the kind of relationship we desire in life. We are allowed to have reasonable needs and we deserve to find a partner who can meet our reasonable needs. - Compromise is important, but it’s also important for us to trust in love and to trust that we are deserving of love (and never settle out of fear) and know that it’s possible to find someone who can share with us what we want to share with her. Keep believing! 🙌🏼 💃🏻

[@ranihindustani8395]

@@jordanamichellegutman Thanks for clarifying things for me. I don't think i could have expressed my feelings around this better. Previously i have had deeper emotional connections with women but it did not work out due to distance. Now i have found someone closer but unfortunately she is not emotionally unavailable. I feel I am getting unsatisfied. When she is alone she is still preoccupied with other things and I don't really get quality time. It is one thing to feel lonely when you are single and another to feel lonely when in a relationship. Sometimes i readjust my expectations and compromise when I know that it could be compromising on my needs and what I want in a relationship. I think i really need to stop doing that. I am trying to keep believing there is someone out there for me. I need to trust that I am deserving of love.

[@TonalliZeleste]

I know you didn’t ask my advice & you don’t have to take anything I say, but I read your comment and I was in a similar situation and just wanted to share my personal experience. So I was with a woman who was late to all the dates we had at least 2 hours late every time & she told me she only smoked weed recreationally & she knew I didn’t like it, I later found out she smoked weed every single day 24/7 and that’s why she was always late and on top of this on some dates she would keep texting me that she would arrive only to text me one last time late at night telling me “sorry actually I’m too busy can’t come no more” even tho an hour ago she texted me she was “on her way” Anyways apart from this she was very hot cold and rude to me at random times, I blocked her and she called me from 5 different numbers I blocked her 5 times Anyway I’ve dealt with other women who smoked weed on a daily basis and I realized just how much the weed was affecting their brain, I wouldn’t trust anyone who is spending more time with weed than you, because they’re probably not in their right mind when they have conversations with you, I’m just sharing my personal experience, but anyways I’m sending you lots of love, peace, hope, and happiness I hope you will find someone perfect for you✨🌻💖💍♥️✨💖🌻💖♥️💫⚡️

[@sarahnachtrose]

The Hotness of Drama. The ups and downs of feelings. Difficult to find out what is real about it (in yourself or in your partner). Or the emotional hole when drama gives way to boredom and routine. I like the roller coaster analogy. You can step out of the queue at any time. But once the bar has been lowered, you are at the mercy of the ups and downs until the bitter end (sounds kind of like a marriage).

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Totally.

[@romaint5416]

I can't hold on anymore. Without love. I'm so tierd.

[@ashleyb.8217]

This felt very gentle. Thank you.

[@juliesabin5707]

Going through a split - together 7 years, married 3... my choice to part ways n I'm learning to be on my own without being attached in any way to anyone.. defo a tough learning curve, better to be alone than to feel lonely in a wrong relationship 💯👍great video, thank you ❤

[@lauriejules1371]

I felt this advice hard. So true! I'm awful for fantasizing about a prospective date and getting heartbroken. Hopefully I'll be kinder to myself in the future and not do it as much. Might write this in big sharpie on paper lol.

[@prabhasbhat817]

I think this advice is for everyone 😄thanks for the insight🙌

[@mariaviola7251]

My case is different. She was there and showed me she cared with actions. I did not even want another partner after my last two relationships but there she was. I tried to go slowly because I didn't want to fall in love again but it happened. I fell in love with her and she told me she did too. Then she spent a month in her original country for holidays and we talked almost every day. She said she missed me and couldn't wait to get home and when she finally came back something had changed. Suddenly she wanted to go back to her home country for a job opportunity and suddenly she said she didn't feel the same because of a small argument we had one week before she left . I was shocked because she never told me this and I got mad because it wasn't my fantasy. She recognized I was right because she was the one making me believe that we were starting to have something real. Five minutes after she said she didn't feel the same, she starts saying that she didn't know how she really felt about me. I mean... I know we can change our minds but that was just too much and I feel like an idiot now because I opened myself and got hurt again. I know I deserve better and luckily I was mature enough to cut her off even if I felt I was still in love but it hurts a lot. I am tired of this type of behavior and I find it very cruel. Luckily this happened kind of early in the relationship (four months) because I know it would have been worst if we had had more time. How can someone change her mind and feelings so suddenly? This only reaffirms my belief that the one does not exist. It will last what it will last and eventually somebody will end up heartbroken. Sad view I know... But these days all I see is people giving up on relationships for the smallest issue without even trying to communicate and work things out.

[@KrystalessR]

Am I the emotionally unavailable one? To preface this, this is my first same sex relationship. We've been seeing each other for just less than a month and she already wants to get married or think about moving in together. I ask her to just slow down a bit, she says stuff like, "Fine, I'll slow down, we just won't have sex anymore!". When I try to get her to acknowledge what I'm asking... just more time in the relationship... she does this, "Fine, I'll just take away X,Y or Z." Im feeling so sad because I thought this was going well.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Hi there. Without knowing more, I'd say this sounds like your partner is playing emotional games to control you. She's punishing you for not saying the exact thing she wants to hear and not doing the exact thing she wants you to do. That's unfair.

[@KrystalessR]

@@jordanamichellegutman Thank you. I agree with what you said. I told her she needs to listen more to what I am saying and stop pushing for life that I'm not ready for. She thought I was trying to say I didn't like her enough to ever marry her and thought wild holding things was the best thing. In the end, we're both good.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

@@KrystalessR It's normal for people in relationships to sometimes feel afraid of rejection and abandonment. But withholding is still an immature, unfair way of handling things, so hopefully as you grow together she will evolve out of that behavior. 🙏🌈🙏

[@KnowledgeSeeker78491]

This video just gave me hope because I’ve really have given up on a real love for me.

[@samwooley1206]

Thank you so much for sharing! Was looking for some real girl advice, and got exactly what I was looking for! Thank you!!!

[@tatianastar8173]

Thank you for wise words. It relates to all types of partners, despite their gender.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Yes, I agree. Thank you so much.

[@drivesanoldcar]

Hey! Its not easy being emotionally unavailable. Not everyone is lucky enough to understand emotions. I just go forward. But I am monogamous and take care physically. Perhaps the emotionally unavailable require other emotionally unavailable? Your thoughts?

[@jeannebourgeois]

Thanks Jordana! Great reminder💞

[@baileypeterman2785]

Hi Jordana! Excellent video. I just wanted to point out that I saw a little orb float above your head and disappear starting at the 1:36 mark. Thank you for all of your amazing content, you are an inspiration :)

[@oksanasclub9717]

Thank you! This is what I needed at the moment

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Yay! So glad you found it then. 🙌🌈🙌

[@Alchemyandco]

🛑dating app dilemma 🛑 This is a great video. Thank you 🙏🏼 I am on a dating app and I match everyday but have since paused my account because I have enough matches. The problem is after matching we would talk that day and maybe the next and then they disappear for like a week . They appear we chat a bit. taking hours to respond and then stop talking for a day or two. That kind of cycle. Some women apologize and say they have been busy and we talk a bit and then gone 😂 this is quite frustrating to me because because we just matched I don’t know how to ask for consistency or bring the topic up but it’s really hindering my ability to get to know anyone and move to the next level. I wonder if maybe some are in relationships or something it’s so odd.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Hi there. I appreciate your question. 🙏 In my own personal experience (and from what I’ve observed with clients), women who are truly single/available and interested in a relationship tend to be very engaged and communicative once they find mutual attraction with someone on dating apps. And most of the time a woman who disappears and communicates inconsistently is not someone you can take seriously in the dating context (and yeah, it could mean they're in a relationship or it could mean the profile is fake or it could mean they're just looking for attention or someone to chat with while they're bored)… But if you find that you’re not able to get to know someone, it means she’s not trying to have you get to know each other and she’s not someone you should invest your time/energy/attention into. But that’s ok because this world is full of queer women who will want to connect with you just as much as you’ll want to connect with them. 🔥 And you’ll find connection like that eventually as long as you don’t waste time on women who don’t meet you halfway. 🙏🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈🙏

[@SarahBaker-q9k]

What if you don't want your feelings fully reciprocated, though? It's even hard to find someone who wants your love without having to return it.

[@karen.island3697]

Absolutely fantastic video! Best advise! Thank you sooo much! 💖

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Thank you, @KarenL!

[@terrellna]

I needed this right now, thank you.

[@kristin972]

it was great for 6 months...then it just changed and wont go back to the overly affectionate person i fell for...this hurts and im confused

[@princessmuslimah5706]

I really needed this. Thankyou 😢

[@tippingtanja]

Thank you so much Mrs. Jordana... That's exactly what happened to me and now I see it clear.. I am so heartbroken but I use your video to get better 👌😁

[@jordanamichellegutman]

I'm very sorry you got hurt. But broken hearts eventually heal and it's nothing we can't handle. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. 💪🏼 💃🏻 🙌🏼

[@TRANSMETALGIRL]

I`m not what you call gay and not even a woman but what you are talking about happen to us all no matter our gender or sexual orientation but I can relate to your advice but in the meantime I`m enjoying single life for the time being and don`t mind it at all!

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Thanks for watching. Everyone is welcome here regardless of gender or sexual orientation 🙌🏼

[@themaggattack]

Summary: She's emotionally unavailable and you are being Limerent towards her. Classic avoidant vs. Anxious attachment styles.

[@YoMama9021]

I have a friend who maybe needs to see this

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Did you show it to your friend? 😉 🙌🏼

[@justinchristoph3725]

When I first saw the title, I thought for sure that one of the categories for "The Most Dangerous Kind Of Women to Date" was going to be bisexuals. I've grown up around a lot of lesbians and I've seen lesbians react to women when they find out they're bisexual and you can literally see the distain and hostility coming off them. Just because a woman is bisexual doesn't mean she isn't going to be monogamous or can't commit to someone.

[@weirdaljedifan2]

I found this video by searching “trans lesbian” and I had similar thoughts when looking at the title 😂

[@elliegordon8]

Hi I just joined your channel because I am currently trying to work out what my partner’s issue is. We have been together almost 2 years. Into start of 2nd year she had counselling. This counselling was to do with her passed marriage to man whom mistreated her. After her counselling she has seemed to have pushed me away. She doesn’t hug how we used to also sex has been non existent. Now when I hug her she doesn’t hug back 😢I have tried having conversations with her but I get so upset because it’s making me feel down. We had so much passion/love/fun in first year and I know things don’t stay same. But it’s vastly different, I have explained this too her and asked her what’s going on and tried to understand. She says she just isn’t connecting that way currently but she loves me and I asked does she actually want be with me she said she does. I don’t know what to do or where to go for guidance on this. Can you give any advice. Please take into account some things happened in her marriage I can’t go into publicly 😢

[@jordanamichellegutman]

I'm so sorry this is happening. The best thing I can advise is to keep checking in with yourself to see if you are truly happy and satisfied and getting your emotional needs met in the relationship. Instead of being focused on what she used to be like, be real about the current situation and how you feel most days when you're with her. Remember that you are the main character in your own life. If the relationship with her doesn't work out, there is a world full of other amazing queer women who can make you just as happy as any woman you ever loved in the past.

[@elliegordon8]

Jordana Thankyou for replying I had had more chats with my partner. Now this is going to sound but bizarre but funny enough watching the Australian version of married at first sight has helped us we have both had emotional times watching this and have discussed things and also put some of the intimacy techniques into place (it’s been almost like counselling sessions for us) there has been a huge improvement with how she’s been with me. We are taking things slowly, but I feel very positive about changes in her speech & actions too me. Also thanks for your advice I have taken this on board 😃

[@jordanamichellegutman]

It sounds like she has been willing to do the inner work on herself and on the relationship, since you saw that show together. It's really good to hear she's been open to working with those intimacy techniques and that they've been causing positive changes in the way she's treating you. I'm happy to hear it!

[@Melissa-1963]

I had to end a friendship recently because of this. At first she was always a friend then when she didn't need me anymore she stopped answering calls and stopped texting me but, every now and then would reply she is just too busy or she had two funerals to go to that month so I just ended the friendship that nobody is ever too busy to at least text you back once in awhile I even tried telling her how about if you tell me a time that's good but of course she never replied so I decided after all that she was not worth the hassle to continue the friendship. I'm waiting around for someone who can't even text me to say hey there how you been. She was just a friend and only a friend, nothing else at least.

[@mintyfreshbreath3945]

my gf is bi'ish...she works at starbucks...her hobby is flirting with married women in front of their husbands....a few months back, she brought home a much older woman and made her pee in the cats litter box... had to make a midnight run to walmart cuz the cat refused to use it after that...true...she visits every once in a while.

[@mintyfreshbreath3945]

@General Grievous yep...had to make a midnight run to meijers to get a new litter box cuz the cat REFUSED to use the old one.

[@fbicontacted7690]

Sounds like your GF is a sociopath. Run...quietly!

[@pussyk.a.t.1411]

Wait what the fuck? I need more deetz

[@riccynaobeb7735]

Wow she is definitely not meant for you you deserve better 😊

[@Alchemyandco]

Wtf 😂 that’s not okay. Why are you accepting that

[@marjorieforgues7916]

Just what I needed, thank you 🙏

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@twoawesomedogs]

Sad to say, there is no woman "waiting for me". There isn't a woman who will want to spend vacations, holidays, family time, fun trips, crushes, love....none of that. There isn't one who won't abuse me, cheat on me, lie to me, ghost me, or throw me away. The belief there is, is just false hope.

[@AlphaOmega888]

What TV, media and KZbin sold you is a fantasy. It's so sad that women participate in selling the dream to other women because they actually believe it and think it's real. The Lesbian world is a reality only the top 1% of *HIGHLY* attractive women, or *very young* women with no life experience or traumas. Of course this lifestyle is fantasy come true for Jordana - she's basically a *tall, athletic, hot model* in the 1% of the dating pool - she gets to live a life of indulgence. Everyone else are just normal women.. aren't they? No they aren't! In the Lesbian dating pool, normal everyday women are *not* in the Lesbian dating pool. There is only Queer women - not Normative women. These women come with deep, deep issues and mostly have ulterior motives - they are NOT looking for any kind of 'Normative' relationship with you.

[@AA-ic2iq]

The best thing is to be like me and never ever fall for anyone! A) because I actually love the freedom that comes with being single and sleeping with someone new every week. B) because 9 times out of 10 I am never interested in the women that fancy me to the extent of wanna be with me in a serious relationship (or even when it comes to sex for that matter) c) In the very rare instance I will find someone really attractive I will most likely get a ONS with them or a fling and never more than that and I find it almost impossible to get attached. I am actually really happy I a someone who is basically unable to fall in love and my standards are so high that no woman is ever good enough! Everyone I know that has a crush on someone or is in a relationship is just super miserable and I am starting to really believe monogamy is completely toxic and unrealistic as they are never ever equal and one person will inevitably be more involved than the other at any give time.

[@thetinaexperience7000]

So you chose promiscuity? Wow, that's low.

[@etcwhatever]

​@@thetinaexperience7000for real. I want a steady partner. 😂

[@IsabelleMorciglio]

Is there any way that you can do a video about long distance relationships success and disasters, and everything that we can learn to make the best decisions? Thanks ♀️🏳️‍🌈♀️

[@jordanamichellegutman]

I'm working on this for you!

[@tTheParakeet]

I’m sexually attracted to women, but I don’t feel the need to have a romantic relationship with a woman. I think I’m content never dating a woman. I don’t know what that makes me. (I’ve never physically been with a woman before, or a man. )

[@AlphaOmega888]

It's called being 'heteronormative' or heterosexual.

[@juanitadebruce4813]

😢 It's true. It's not hot to be into someone who's not into me.

[@romaint5416]

I feel so small. Bcause i kinda beged this woman to pay attention to me.

[@katherinemarsh784]

Excellent video.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Thank you! 🙏🏼

[@Tzuyang5.0]

Friendship first. Don't go straight to relationship! Some are obviously playing games. 😂😂😂😂 Better to be single okay?!😅

[@mariacristinaison4961]

Do you have a video about neediness, or can yo create a video about it? I want to know more about myself if I am too needy to have a girlfriend or I just have enough desire of being wired to love and be loved. Thank you, JM. 😊

[@jordanamichellegutman]

This is a video I made about neediness. kzbin.info/www/bejne/bqm5hnWknJZqjac

[@marionhills8031]

thank you.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

🙌🏼 💃🏻 😊

[@nellydosty5824]

Thank you

[@crittersofearth9914]

What perfection

[@katherinemarsh784]

How about a femme who is emotionally available to me but doesn't write or call?

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Interesting question. Can someone who doesn't write or call still be considered "emotionally available"? I believe the answer can be yes, if they are single, available, looking for a serious relationship, they make real quality time for you in-person and are attentive + emotionally attuned to you when they're with you. But at the same time, it's important to have clarity around why she doesn't write or call... Is it that she avoids using her device in all areas of life? Or does she write/call other humans in her life, just not you? And most importantly, can you ultimately be happy with someone you know is not going to be there for you via phone/text over the long term?

[@emilyyoung8552]

Oh hey it’s me I’m the dangerous woman 😅

[@deegee1021dg]

Are you still responsive to questions? I need help?

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Yes, I try to answer questions people ask me here.

[@P.willow]

I have just come across this channel too late. I have been screwed over used a thousand times by one woman. One soulless person. Jesus what a horrible awful " I wish I saw this coming" liar

[@katherinemarsh784]

Scenario.

[@msenglish8382]

Can you go back to 1998 and tell the young me all of this shit

[@jordanamichellegutman]

Hahaha you and me both!!! I wish!!!

[@jamesbedukodjograham5508]

If your Video was shown on African Television it would be banned totally.

[@karlamitchell81]

Just happened to me. The acceptance is a huge deal. I had to breakup with her. She was ultimately using me. She lived with me and didn’t have transportation. It wasn’t always that way but she got way too comfortable and let everything go. Thanks for this video.

[@jordanamichellegutman]

I'm really sorry this happened 🙏🏼

[@DeltaRonstadt1980]

I really needed to hear 9:08-9:21. 🥹

[@jordanamichellegutman]

I'm so glad! 🤗🌈🤗