The Mystery of the "Sorting Wheel" (Reddit Glitch Stories)

thank you for watching! give a like, comment, and subscribe if you enjoyed :)
today's rabbit hole is a r/Glitch_In_The_Matrix story from reddit that stuck with me since the moment I read it. it's disturbing, dark and fascinating all at the same time, and leaves you with questioning the mystery that is death. this is darker and longer than anything i've done yet, internet mystery with more going into morbid curiosity and philosophies on what death and spirituality really are. in honor of you all getting me to 1,000 subscribers! watch the video if you'd like to have a possible existential crisis. is reincarnation or quantum immortality worse.
intro: 00:00-01:59
the near-death experience: 02:00-15:04
beginning of the deep dive: 15:05-19:43
down the rabbit hole: 19:44-23:08
making sense of it all: 23:09-24:33
links
instagram: / sombertoboggly reddit: / sombertoboggly
patreon: / sombertoboggly
ko-fi: ko-fi.com/sombertoboggly
liminal space video
• A Deep Dive Into the S...
blue chin guy
• The Search for Blue Ch...
the original reddit post
/ meta_near_death_experi...
music
super mario 64 - bowser's road
paper mario 64 - snow road
skyrim - under an ancient sun
portal - taste of blood
skyrim - from past to present
super paper mario - world of nothing
skyrim - awake
alice in chains - no excuses (instrumental)
paper mario the thousand year door - rogueport sewers
skyrim - secunda
skyrim - frostfall
paper mario 64 - crystal palace crawl
the wheel - spear of destiny
maplestory - interior of nautilus
paper mario the thousand year door - ruins of the thousand year door
super paper mario - the underwhere
the legend of zelda ocarina of time - title theme
paper mario the thousand year door - boggly woods
#reddit #redditstories #mystery

[@Achromatic_0]

this reminds me of a story of some girl getting into a car crash or something that caused her entire life to change. the behaviour of everyone around her changed really unnaturally, some things from her past didnt happen or were different, her relatives have different memories of her, etc. could it be that the same thing happened to her, but she just doesnt remember it?

[@ginger_nspice]

This story reminded me of the same post!

[@uwuaxolotluwu3626]

Oh yes, I remember that one too. I'd love to read it again.

[@pomponi0]

That story's title is literally in the video at 1:10 (by throwaway123922293)

[@cez_is_typing]

Had a friend that this happened to! He was on a two flight staircase in school, he sat on the railing and someone pushed him (I can’t remember if it was accidental or not) He fell all the way down, hitting his head on the way down When he landed on the floor a teacher was too scattered trying to get everyone away that he just picked him up and moved him (don’t worry, he very much sued the school and got his dues) He had brain damage and his personality totally changed He also said that stuff in his reality was different Not that he had amnesia or anything But that things were CHANGED He had his mothers name wrong but would swear up and down it was something different It wasn’t that he didn’t remember her name He thought his family were playing a prank on him he was THAT sure that her name was something different There’s a bunch of other stuff as well but yeah, possibly a common occurrence with head trauma

[@katiecampbell958]

I read one like this where the girl got into a skiing accident and all of a sudden her husband is super abusive to her and other things are different too

[@Rey_Palpatine]

Even as a young kid, I'd sometimes lie in bed in the dark unable to fall asleep. I'd think about how weird it is that I exist, right now, right here in this space, and how there are other people out there existing just like me who I'll never meet, and how one day I won't exist anymore. My parents never knew, but on a few of those occasions where I cried because of a "bad dream", it was actually because of things like this. I couldn't really explain to them why I was sad/crying so I just said "yeah" when they asked if I had a nightmare 🙃

[@peedrinker5000]

I still have these kinds of feelings, but I have no idea how to put them into words or how to make it sound right. It's similar to the "everyone is an NPC" thing but a little different? I can't explain it.

[@rbwica]

Wow, it's good to know that other people are doing it. Thinking about undescribable emptiness is just... Something

[@reiy8401]

back in late 2020 i was super into the r/glitchinthematrix subreddit. something about the combo of the pandemic, going back to my stressful underpaying job, and the political turmoil kept me borderline obsessed with stories of hopping realities/reality being fake. this story absolutely blew me out of the water and i've been thinking about it ever since. i have to say though with all due respect, i'm just now realizing how much the author sounds like the modern day equivalent of narrators in Victorian novels, about to talk about crazy creatures/situations they've experienced and not wanting anyone to think they were losing it lolol

[@reiy8401]

also your channel is really good holy sh1t i've been craving a new channel to binge watch

[@universal_hyssoap]

went down that same type of rabbit hole when i was like 14 doing drugs everyday and praying non stop to just "get out", thinking about the demiurge and strings of code. not a good place to be in, I recommend instead some orthodox Christianity/catholicism since it's actually. True . Lol

[@tablescissors67]

You may have been subconsciously reacting to the fact that your “reality”, especially then, was very much being controlled. Thinking harder about what reality actually is would be a good way for your subconscious to reject what it already knew was false.

[@batfacts_are_cool]

For me, there's a comfort in the idea of reincarnation. While, yes, it would mean the ending of myself as I presently know it, it is much preferable over the idea of what I would guess is an eventual mundane and meaningless existence in an afterlife, and the idea of not existing at all or feeling anything is downright terrifying to me. I don't want to just not exist. I want to have new experiences, do things, be SOMETHING different, even if I'm not aware that's what is happening and that I've been through the cycle. I want to exist, even if that existence is painful. I want it to be MY existence, whoever that me is.

[@CrowCoded]

I'm the same way. I actually went from general paganism to wicca because of a passage I read in a book about the belief in reincarnation that some (if not most) wiccans believe. That we reincarnate over and over, each new life experiencing something the ones prior hadn't - be it one second was new or the entire life lived was. It continues further and further until, finally, your soul can be content or you reach a point where a new you can't/doesn't die in whatever world you ended up in. I'm paraphrasing and, of course, added a bit of my own beliefs in that, but the gist is much the same. Reincarnation to experience something new until the soul is content and can pass on (where to, I don't know).

[@powersfpv]

Has anyone here watched kurzgazacts "the egg"? (Idk how to spell)

[@WeAreAHorde]

@@user-qu9pe9bt3f probably ignorance

[@weewooweewoo906]

it also just makes more sense since pretty much everything else in life is cyclical

[@paracuna]

@@user-qu9pe9bt3f what's the point in life if there is no bad? if there is no bad in life then you can't appreciate the good, if you aren't poor then you can't appreciate having money, people who have everything are not happy, millionaires that can get anything or anything are not satisfied with their life because there is no point. Living a life with no struggles is a boring existence, I'm not saying you have to be struggling 24/7 and live an awful life, but having bad moments and being sad is what makes us appreciate the good in life and gives it a bigger meaning.

[@ceazarsalad4414]

I have NEVER heard of this story or anything relating to this wheel thing before. This is SO INTERESTING. I'm not religious or even spiritual in any way, but bringing up how different religions have different "wheel" mythos... that makes me really think. There has to be some truth to it.

[@sombertoboggly]

i'm not religious either, but could probably be considered spiritual in some form? and i just found this whole thing amazing too, it really had me thinking ever since i read it. it's the things and experiences like that which makes me think there's gotta be some meaning to all of this.

[@Xaina.Sarpenta]

@@sombertoboggly The universe is rational and logical. The objective truth is deep inside everyone's unconscious minds; that's why you see similarities all around the world. We are slowly waking up. We are one and many, simultaneously. We are going through teleological evolution, physically and mentally. Read the book series, "The God Series," by Mike Hockney. I recommend starting with book 1, "The God Game." The series has all the rational and logical answers; having faith and belief is not required. There is purpose; we just have to rediscover it. We've now evolved into having the capability to do so. This information can change the world for the better. Objective knowledge is power, freedom, and peaceful unity for the whole world.

[@playdohmasochist]

NEVER heard of Wheel of Fortune huh?

[@SUSLTD]

@@playdohmasochist that explains why i was told to "say ten hail marys and buy a vowel" during my last confession

[@Alienaddikt]

Same

[@totallynotjevii574]

I honestly wonder if they had an unexplained mental break with effects similar to being on salvia or another drug The human brain is weird as hell and held together with duct tape

[@DyxoXinoro]

God shoulda splurged and bought flex tape to hold our brains together smh

[@Pneubeteube]

There are some people who have a very specific sleep paralysis experience that is very different from the living nightmare a lot of people with it suffer. They will wake up in bed and gain an immutable sense of a presence so vastly huge and incomprehensible that they feel like they barely exist. As if becoming cognizant of infinity.

[@kev1257ful]

@@Pneubeteube that sounds very interesting, do you know what this type of sleep paralysis is called

[@GrplrZrn]

This story definitely reminds me of the several times I smoked salvia extract. That wheel is always there.

[@CombinedProductions0]

@@Pneubeteube been there

[@MichaelEMJAYARE]

Have you ever read the Reddit story about the “red lamp”? Where this guy is knocked out and lives a whole separate life while unconscious? Its really moving. I sincerely recommend it! Its poetic as all hell. A great story!

[@sombertoboggly]

yes that story tripped me out back when i first read it!

[@rikmik3046]

Sounds like Jacob's Ladder. The entire film was him just imagining what could've been until you realize he was pretty much on the brink of death at the end.

[@Its_PizzaTime]

I think about this often and I'm sometimes afraid of seeing my own red lamp. I highly doubt that story really happened, but the brain is so complex that I don't doubt it's at least possible.

[@safarimom]

@@rikmik3046I had never heard of Jacob’s Ladder, so after reading your comment I found that it is streaming on Paramount Plus. I just finished watching it. (I just noticed that there are two movies, I watched the one with Tim Robbin’s.)I really like those kind of movies that make you think and with surprising twist. I really enjoy movies like The Butterfly Effect, Source Code, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, and Stay. Actually, Jacobs Ladder reminded me of Stay.

[@EddyOfTheMaelstrom]

Literal plot of an episode of TNG

[@powderedsoul9128]

I think I've felt the same thing that Redditor and you talked about feeling in bed as a kid. It's really hard to describe, but it's like "sensing" something overwhelmingly large, and also feeling like it was growing, and for some reason it terrifies me whenever I feel it.

[@sombertoboggly]

mine felt sort of like a factory with huge spheres, but at the same time the spheres were rolling in between my fingertips. that's what the sensation felt like. that might make no sense at all but yeah haha

[@m9ddie]

@@sombertobogglymfg. i had SUCH a similar experience but i brushed it off as a recurring day dream. when i was around 3, i would experience what that one redditors comment said. awake, not sleeping.. resembles a dream but conscious. in this dream, i felt as if i was in a factory. and i could see this machine type thing. it was so huge, and i remember it being colored black. it was almost shaped like a sphere. it was indescribably huge. and i understood that it controlled the world itself.. and the lives of everyone in the universe. i went on to have this “day dream” recur many times, and it was VERY vivid when i was 8 and i had a horrible fever and lost consciousness. when i was slipping in and out of consciousness, it recurred. i saw the machine. i knew what it did. i knew why i was seeing it. and i was aware of why it was in existence. as strange as it sounds. that fever was so bad that i could have died. which is another really interesting detail to the story, but the fact that it’s recurred since i was 3 years old is weird. i haven’t had it since i was 10. i never thought anyone would experience something like this, even remotely similar.

[@juhasznorbert94]

​@@sombertoboggly Gosh, I thought I was the only one with that sensation... Tha feeling of something getting bigger, kind of overwhelming between my fingertips, and all over my physical body. damn, you guys described it so well. I tried to reach that "thing", after watching the video, because I can clearly remember it from my childhood, but I can't do it anymore. Just like so many of us, I've never ever talked about it before. And now I'm going down in the rabbit hole, eh

[@weevilwizarddotmusic9711]

theres a disorder called "alice in wonderland syndrome" i have it i think, its where your body feels like its growing and shrinking when it is not. i have this, and the feeling of objects in my hands, and my body being thrown or moved when i am still. sometimes i have this clarity and in my dreams or memories i feel like i has a specific purpose and i NEED to fulfill it or something horrible may happen. to me, human minds are fickle and tend to do frightening and overwhelming things while under distress. how interesting. i hope this does not haunt them so much one day. edit: i feel the need to mention, i was also in a car accident while my mother was pregnant with me. her car was essentially dragged some feet down the road in a heavy rainstorm by a semi. *(he survived and is fine, only her leg was broken i think? this happened almost 18 years ago so. shes alright.) pretty wild these have a car accident in common, though its probably coincidence.

[@Meriamfunlandagain]

SAME like when I close my eyes sometimes i suddenly "feel" this impossibly fast massive spherical object is in front of me. It's such a weird feeling!

[@tlh0121]

You explained the fear of death perfectly. It’s not the act and how you got to that point, it’s the fact of just not being anymore. It’s so weird to think - One day I’m going to die. One day I’m not going to be here anymore.

[@betula2137]

Reassure me you're still here

[@haileybalmer9722]

It’s okay. You didn’t exist before you were born, either. There was nothing scary about it, just a here with no you. One day that will be true again. Will you be somewhere else? I’m afraid I can’t say.

[@ianmcninch8070]

Its definitely a very interesting concept. I think there is a chance that the wheel story is just some sort of psychosis/mental episode, and if that is the case, I think its fascinating in its own way. Like, there is still so much we don't understand about how our brains work, and its kind of scary that our brains probably contain our sense of self and our consciousness and our perception of reality. and its crazy how some random error in our brains or drugs and stuff can basically mess with our whole sense of self and how we perceive reality. ok that's the end of my random ramblings

[@tablescissors67]

But. There is also nothing we truly understand about “reality” beyond our own human comprehension. We also do not truly understand subatomic particles, a core make-up of the known universe.

[@user-du6re3rm9z]

I had a similar experience To the op while on drugs, I had a weird trip, I just posted my experience in the comments. It wasn’t psychosis as it was a trip but I’m very concerned why it happened now… Seems very dangerous. It was back when I was a teenager, I don’t know how I got up to that stuff looking back, I know I took ketamine, maybe MDMA and nitrous oxide (as I said , idiotic)😂 but the similarities the op explained it very similar to what I felt. If this person was dying, I assume my brain got starved of oxygen and yeah. I’m 23 and now and this was back in 2018 or something when I experienced this.

[@user-du6re3rm9z]

Luckily I didn’t go into some weird psychosis and just thought I went a bit too far, after reading this I think it was more serious

[@KaguyaHimex]

The replies and comments are SO interesting. The idea of endless reincarnation has always really comforted me rather than terrified me. Like… when my physical body dies something will live on, even if it’s not “me”. I got almost… nostalgic??? listening to this. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that people are either terrified, unnerved, or weirdly comforted by the concept regardless of their upbringing or background.

[@OrderedEntropy]

Because most people when they say I fear death, it IS that of the ego not of the soul. We want a line not a point or circle. What fears us or more so makes us not accept is is not being given eternity in eternity which just seems unfair within the infinite possibilities, i guess infinite possibilities exist because every soul isnt a line but still, cant we go to an infinity that includes an extra infinity XD

[@OkarinHououinKyouma]

Not necessarily human or any life form you can think of. Endless possibilities.

[@heav2582]

I feel both comforted and terrified by the idea of reincarnation. The thought of being stuck in this realm forever and this being all there is, is what scares me. I’d like to believe there are different “realms” or “dimensions” of existence that are separate from living a human experience on this planet. But in some strange way it comforts me as well, because to me, maybe it’s better than the alternative of completely ceasing to exist…. Unless I reincarnate as a peasant in the mid evil era😅

[@NuclearWaist]

The description reminds me of the "night terrors" I used to have as a kid. I just remember a bunch of spheres. Some of em were smaller than a microbe while some were larger than I could even hope to scale. All simultaneously changing size. It was wacky. Still can't wrap my head around it.

[@enbugg2660]

I had this when I was younger too! I used to call them the dots. They were either red or green, and changed in size, though I interpreted it at the time as getting nearer and further away. It used to happen almost every night before bed, but I was completely lucid, and I could reach out to them, meaning it wasn't sleep paralysis. I told my parents a few times and they took me to specialists and opticians, though nothing ever came of it. Eventually as I got into my teens, I started seeing them less and less, until they completely stopped around 14. I had one more experience of them on my first night after I moved away from home, then never again. That time, I could be certain it wasn't just childish imagination, they were definitely "real". They've never felt threatening, more just like they are watching with moderate interest.

[@violetvalentine999]

my mom told me about a similar near-death experience she had. no wheel, but she definitely collided with this truck on the highway, except somehow, the collision never happened. she pulled over, & so did the truck driver. he was just as shaken for the same reasons, swearing up & down that "his truck went right through her". i never knew what to think til i saw such a similar account in this video... what kind of phenomenon is that to have any sort of tangible continuity?! it was no isolated incident, that much is now clear. this was fascinating! your videos are really cool, you have a knack for summarizing massive concepts in digestible-yet-satisfying runtimes. the topics you pick are unique & fresh; your passion for the subject(s) of your videos REALLY shines through, & that enthusiasm is contagious! you're very good at presenting things that interest you in such a way that gets other people just as interested. you've got that x-factor, that je ne sais quoi, that spark that lights one's art ablaze in a chorus of iridescent fireworks. keep it up, you're definitely going places! "the wheel keeps on turning and turning and turning and nothing's disturbing the way it goes around" 🎡💃🎶

[@sombertoboggly]

it's crazy how that happens, there's more stories you can read on that subreddit of it happening! i'm glad your mom ended up being okay. getting in an almost-accident on its own really shakes you up. i didn't go into detail about it in the video when i mentioned a similar thing happening to me, but my boyfriend was driving up a hill in the snow when the car just started to spin, i saw us about to go into the median but we didn't and ended up on the other side of the road. a car was coming towards us but somehow we spun back around in time to end up on the correct side of the road, pulled over. i think we were just lucky enough to spin into the small gap where it was a turn lane but a year later now and i'm still grateful we ended up safe. and thank you so much for the kind words! i am happy to hear you're enjoying the content, it means a lot. especially that you think my passion for these topics is very apparent! i've been into this stuff for a long time now, so being able to create content about them has honestly just been awesome haha. thanks again! :)

[@O7iver]

This video made me start crying. I don’t know why, it just started happening. I’ve been pretty aligned with buddhism but could never really accept reincarnation as real. I think it’s starting to click

[@lgpen999]

I watched this video months ago, but this story has stuck with me. The way they describe the size of the wheel and the way time seems to freeze are so haunting, and the glimpses into other realities just make me think. So interesting!

[@bethmundy9294]

For everyone who gets the weird heavy/floaty sensation when falling asleep - look into Alice in Wonderland syndrome. I have the same thing and I'm pretty convinced it's a version of AIWS, or at least something similar. Reading forum posts of people's experiences sounds a lot like this

[@WarioWill]

From what I understand from a 5 second google search, AIWS is when you wrongly perceive the size of yourself or objects? I have something similar. When I'm falling asleep, I will sometimes imagine myself in my bed, as if I'm viewing myself from the middle of the room. When I'm fully awake, everything looks normal, but as I begin to fall asleep, everything grows except for me. I stay the same size and my bed and pillow become giant. I try to imagine everything as normal, but I can't. Eventually, I begin to shrink until I'm gone. Then the bed shrinks until it is gone. I try to imagine different objects, but they are warped, contorted, disfigured. These images shrink into nothingness, too. I can no longer picture objects in my head at this point. I fall asleep very soon after this.

[@peedrinker5000]

I get this feeling where I feel like I'm getting smaller and larger when I focus too hard while I'm laying on my bed and closing my eyes. Is that something that happens? Edit: I forgot to mention that sometimes I also feel like I'm falling, but it's not a scary experience, it's peaceful.

[@wunderstein8224]

So when the guy started describing the wheel and his whole experience it really resonated with an experience I had on salvia, before you had even got to the part where you mentioned salvia and psychiatric experiences as being another avenue through which we have experiences and beliefs of this similar construct. This experience to this day is the most powerful and potent psychedelic event by and large, no other substance has ever caused anything that could even approach it. So my buddy and I are in a park at night sitting at a table. I take my hit and hold it, next thing I know, I'm free falling from thousands of feet, if not miles up in the sky, clouds are around me, a lush green but also "civilized" landscape at the ground. It appeared like maybe castles or something like that was all the way down there as if it wasn't just wide open fields and nature. I then see a rotating, almost like a spiral staircase of wooden pillars that descend from one pillar to the next each shorter than the other but they spiraled down and down. Before I know it I'm approaching the first pillar rapidly and I hit it, hard. I'm now tumbling down this spiraling tower hitting each one as I'm basically rolling like you would down a hill on my side but from pillar to pillar, still way up in the sky amongst the clouds. I'm not sure how long or when the transition occurred but at some point I see what I think is the park we were at but everything is spiraling still and there's these rotating purple and yellow alternating bars of color that are covering everything I see. At some point I'm repeating "I know what's happening, I know what's happening" I didn't. I also realize I'm on the ground rolling on my side and have rolled about 30 feet away from the table. I guess it was only about a minute or two but apparently my friend says I exhaled and then began to climb on all fours onto the table top and he's trying to keep my away from knocking or drinks and other stuff on the table off and I crawl to the edge and fall off into the woodchips and immediately begin rolling on my side away into the grass and began repeating I know what's happening until I came to and stopped. I believe it was next week but my friend's experience was that he had become a ferris wheel, like with people in the buckets and rotating. So the wheel aspect is absolutely something I know is a recurrent theme with high level, complete out of body salvia experiences because I've had minor experiences with it and didn't have an occurrence where I was somewhere else and what I was visualizing was not through my eyes and what I thought I was feeling was external to my physical body and never had anything like a wheel appear or manifest. But that's the only thing that took me out of myself and for a brief period of time my body was still here but I was having something happen that was not connected to it. With other psychedelics, barring possibly DMT which I've not tried, you may have intense hallucinations but you know that you're seeing out of your eyes, you can still have confidence that you're in control of your body and like everything else in your entire life you have control and a sense of self. With salvia, that link can be completely disassociated, and that's a pretty radical shift in your understanding of what consciousness is and how we experience things. So maybe when you have loosened that link to your body your mind untethered can get a glimpse or what is capable of perceiving when it could be staring at the incomprehensible. Idk but that's my s story.

[@saturnine5591]

came here to say this, you can experience this directly without physical harm by simply consuming salvia divinorum

[@tablescissors67]

@@saturnine5591That is false advice.

[@saturnine5591]

@@tablescissors67 haha ok

[@mikaelazhai8053]

The og reddit post sounds like sleep paralysis to me tbh. It's hard to describe how real the hallucinations feel until you've experienced it - I've had episodes where I drifted off while staring at my wall, and in my dream the wall was still there, vivid and real, and I could see every single detail except I couldn't move. And I had to listen to the voices/watch the wall melt while being frozen in place, and I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I open my eyes. There's no transition between that awake and sleep state, it just suddenly happens to you. The description about wanting to do something but being frozen in place while the wheel spun op from reality to reality is REALLY similar to the emotional state of sleep paralysis. That sense of pervasive helplessness is super super common during episodes - even if whatever is happening isn't that scary, your brain just flips out. And the spinning sensation is also really common. I used to lie in bed for hours afraid of going to sleep because every time I try I would just fall backwards forever into an endless void. Super scary to think of something like that happening while you're driving, but it's a lot more common than people think. Honestly, thinking you died and reincarnated in a different world is probably more comforting than the thought of you dozing off behind the wheel...

[@miss-laea]

The thing is, the experience started during the moment of impact, so i don't think OP dozed off. The brain becomes hyperactive when you're in extreme danger, especially if you approach death. As such, you feel like time has "slowed down", but it's simply because your brain is recording much more information than it usually would, (for example if you would usually remember one event per 30 seconds, during these instances you would remember every 1/10th of a second experience.) This can be explained by adrenaline kicking in and forcing you to react very fast in order to save your own life (so your brain works faster) and the detailed recording of these memories is useful if you ever find yourself in such a life threatening situation in the future (because, on a purely biological survival pov, the only use of memories is for you not to make the same mistakes again/be able to remember your good shots) The need for finding a solution to the life-threatening situation OP was in can also explain why they visualized so many possible outcomes for their accident I'm pretty sure the hyperactivity of the brain in your last moments can cause some forms of hallucinations - that may be similar to sleep paralysis-, although i'm gonna have to go research this right now because i'm not exactly sure how it works haha Edit: lmao i hadn't seen the end so you might be right

[@elio7610]

Maybe they passed out after nearly crashing?

[@clorofolle]

I am extremely terrified of death as a possible nothingness forever - so stories like these are actually calming to me. This (and the whole thing about people doing salvia and seeing The Wheel) reminds me of the fact that many many people, after doing psychedelics, lose fear of death for the rest of their life. Something about the so called "ego death" gives you something like intense clarity about this big picture stuff and you stop worrying. Would love to do shrooms someday just for this lol. In the meantime, the most I've been able to get high off has been laughing gas. It's just a few seconds of laughter at first, but do it enough and you can get pretty decently high. Time slows down so. Much. The seconds you spend high seem like minutes. Soon I started visualizing this weird symbol that I couldn't focus on but was reminiscent of my childhood. And my instinct started to be, trying to count the seconds that my mind *felt* and compare them to true ones. But I'd keep losing count, it felt like a spiral, spiraling me higher and higher. And I tried to count, and my mind was thinking so much stuff, and in those months it's like a pattern - realizing something with perfect clarity, about how everything is a circle or a spiral and we're kind of stuck in it, and then feeling intense dread in your heart like "wait, is this IT???", then something absurd and "lovely" happening that makes you feel intense joy and the next step is like oh but it's SO worth it. And the sudden realization that's it's like a funny joke, or a dance, and the joy of living in the moment, dancing. There's more steps but they keep slipping my mind. Each time I do a little bit they feel clearer - sometimes I feel like I will make sense of all the steps when I'm so old that it will be funnier still. Or maybe in the next life. When the effect of the gas runs out, it "crashes" me on the step I was experiencing - I've crashed on panic a couple times and had to calm myself down, but other times I've crashed on joy and realization and my fear of death was gone so long as my brain remembered that pattern, that rythm. It made it all make sense.

[@grimace9670]

Holy shit I just remembered I’ve been getting this vague childhood memory of touching an object that I can’t wrap my brain around the way it looks or feels, it feels the most like craft foam but also not

[@sombertoboggly]

yes! not sure if you've read some other comments but mine was sphere shaped and it would "feel" like it was rolling in between my fingertips. but at the same time it wss massive. hard to explain but it was crazy finding out other people experienced these kinds of things. i went my whole life never telling anyone cause i couldn't describe it at all until i read that comment in the thread

[@johndeaux8815]

I had a glitch in the matrix a couple weeks ago. I was coming home from a mates house at 2am, saw my doppelgänger trying to rob a car. He saw me riding my bike, nodded at me, and walked in the other direction down the road. I don’t think I’ve moved that quickly on my bike uphill before or since. I wonder what would’ve happened if I bumped into him an hour later.

[@sombertoboggly]

the thought of seeing my own doppelganger seriously freaks me out

[@m9lvin]

when you brought up the childhood huge oval sensation-thing it really surprised me when it brought back my own memories. I remember having a similar experience that would happen to me once in a while before going to bed, in the same fashion as OP. it felt like going up and down on a trampoline, like someone else was jumping beside me. It was relaxing sometimes and scary other times-- like I would have to open my eyes because I got worried. I also got really strong memories of muted orange and purple colors. the concept of the oval shaped trampoline was orange with a purple border. I agree-- this is definitely one of the weirdest things I've shared online

[@sombertoboggly]

mine was specifically like a factory almost that contained massive spheres but at the same time it was like the spheres were rolling in between my fingertips. might make no sense at all but sharing all this weird stuff is honestly fun haha

[@m9lvin]

@@sombertoboggly everyone’s overlapping but different experiences is seriously soo intriguing. I wonder what it is about childhood that produces these random geometric sensations that we rarely get again. this video is going to be on my mind for a while, amazing work❤️❤️

[@theMimicsBox]

As a child I always had dreams that when I died I'd be placed in this sort of void, looking from an outside perspective of my self (almost like a top-down view in a videogame), however my "self" breaks down to more or less a spot of color, around me were these sorts of bubbles which had glimpses of experience, basically little snapshots of a life that could be, never saw a wheel, haha. But it felt very similar to this story.

[@joycocos4140]

I DREAMT ABOUT THIS TOO JUST LIKE YOU DESCRIBED OMG by any chance, there was a voice talking to you?

[@theMimicsBox]

@@joycocos4140 Not from what I can remember, I think it was just a lot of ambient sounds, but this was a long time ago, so I could've just forgotten aspects of the dreams

[@chriskephart3066]

i smoked salvia 35x and was running on a waterwheel, i had to jump into one of the gaps to get back to my reality, i came back smacking my head to come back here, or what i percieve is here. there was a LOT with that salvia trip, i seen multiple ways i die, so many strange things in my past future and present, that plant is truly diviners sage, its something special

[@tablescissors67]

*sigh*

[@vangoghsseveredear]

This reminds me of a trip I had one time. I did a metric ton of Salvia when I was a teenager (holy shit, I just reached the Salvia part mentioned!) Anyway, I'll explain my experience, because it was so vivid. I did a pile of Salvia, and exhaled. I forgot everything. All I seen were 3 giant spinning wheels, all a solid colour. They were spinning, a waterfall coming down off each. One was blue, one was maybe purple? I can't remember the last colour, but they stood out because all the rest of the space in my vision was black. I didn't know who I was, where I was, but I had this knowledge that I had died. I didn't remember the drug, I didn't remember my name or past, just thought I was dead. Then I slowly came out of it, but it felt like I was there for ages. It mustve only been a matter of minutes, but it felt like I was there for hours. Ironically enough, I've also died before- I didn't experience anything there, though, it was just black.

[@GrplrZrn]

I've seen the wheel after smoking salvia several times. I felt like I was attached to it. Salvia makes you have weird sensations, and mine always lined up with the spokes of the wheels. Felt like something was pulling me in slices. It's cool to see this is related to NDEs as well, bc it's honestly the thing that intrigued me the most about my salvia trips.

[@Vampress09]

I can't believe I have finally found someone who feels the same about death as me. Everyone I meet or see on the internet seems comfortable with the idea of death or many of them believe in afterlife I have always felt alone in my thoughts about death. i feel so seen.

[@gabriel-gk5eh]

It's called thanatophobia, I have it too

[@justanautisticnerd8969]

I know right ?! I am horrified at the idea of death and its the first ever time I've heard someone say what I find so scary about it. Its nice being finnaly understood.

[@user-bx8sj6qm3w]

I personally think it depends on your personal life and quality of life, the better the more likely you are to be afraid of death, the worse the more likely you are to embrace death or even want it. It's why I think suicide isn't a bad thing and if someone wants to do it they should be allowed to even if others who are afraid of death object to it. While in the case of afterlife believers it's either wishful thinking on their side where they love being alive and hope for a continuation of it, or a cope with how terrible their lives are and them hopinh they'll get compensated or another chance to live so they don't have to take action about their current life situation by either fixing their problems or killing themselves.

[@tablescissors67]

I’ve never heard of anyone NOT afraid. It’s literally the second most common fear after public speaking. I always had to keep it to myself having felt differently and my reasons for going on being equally different.

[@laurenbraybrook6590]

Omg I've just found this now after a year of looking for anything similar to my own experience with "the wheel".

[@mimityty]

the story before the end reminds me of the weird feeling I get, it's just a feeling of something that's really close but also really far, like something massive but only because it's under a microscope or something

[@bluem.9530]

YES!! THIS!!!!! I have terrible nightmares, and when I was young I would have very specific ones, maybe a few times a year, where they were essentially regular dreams but everything was off. It was like I was watching through a film or filter, where big things were actually small and quiet things were loud and vice versa. The sound thing was particularly prevalent: someone would whisper something, and though I knew it was quiet, I heard it extremely loudly, and when a loud noise happened, it would sound super quiet even though my ears and body experienced the physical effects of a loud noise. The same sort of thing happened with size, but that one's a bit harder to describe. I've never seen anyone else talk about this!!

[@nathanielacevedo5003]

I found your channel from recommendations about 5 hours ago and after watching your other videos I was thinking about going on Reddit and trying to ask/explain this weird explainable 'feeling' I would get as a child that would disappear and reappear throughout my life. After binge-watching all your videos I began watching this one and was oddly fascinated by it. Death is something that has always puzzled me and has made me have the same fear of not wanting to lose my memories after I cease to exist. The part at 20:26 came on and I didn't even know how to react, I just sort of smirked not knowing whether to be scared or at peace knowing other people have felt this. To be quite honest I don't know what drove me to watch your videos in the first place, I am easily frighted by this sort of content on KZbin and usually tell KZbin not to recommend me it. I don't know whats compelled me to write this either but I just wanted to say thank you.

[@galaktikai]

I think I dreamt about the wheel when I was young. Like single digits, young. I wasn't online til I was 16. I remember the water wheel thing but it was just spinning above my head endlessly. It was gold in color but not made of gold, like a painted wood maybe but not really. The sky looked like a normal, clear day but also like I was floating in outer space, like the images of each were transposed atop one another. The wheel was large enough to see every minute detail but so damn far away it made me feel sick. Like the BIGNESS of it really just is indescribable. That feeling of sheer magnitude is just so much crazier when you're dreaming, too, so it was truly dizzying. I don't remember much else besides just observing it. I didn't interact with it at all, I do remember that I could see things happening within and between the spokes of the wheel but I'm not going to try to describe them because I don't remember them. I remember there being a zebra and water involved, but that's literally it.

[@seb1520]

This reminds me of a thought I would occasionally have growing up. The thing is about consciousness is that we would only know we were alive while being alive, and consciousness would obviously cease to exist in our death, meaning the only way we’d ever be “conscious” again, would be in another life, never recounting the complete absence of consciousness we had in death.

[@carehoule]

oh my god wait that paragraph about the vague vast feeling makes me remember a feeling i used to have and now i’m super confused lol

[@sombertoboggly]

if it makes you feel any better, i believe the scientific explanation of it is "hypnagogic hallucinations." i looked more into it after making this video. i even found a whole reddit thread on the weird feelings, where a comment described basically exactly how it was for me. you should look it up if you think you've experienced them too!

[@ashb9312]

Great discussion! Fortuna with her wheel of fate in Greek mythology come to mind as well. (By the way, I have a video on dealing with death/existential anxiety on my channel that might help, aha.)

[@philw4025]

As someone with an existential dread of death for the same reasons, this was a great video. And so well made!

[@sombertoboggly]

thank you!

[@gabriel-gk5eh]

I have thanotofobia and paused the video with 5s feeling it would give me an anxiety attack. After reading this comment, I'm going to watch it. Wish me luck!

[@philw4025]

@@gabriel-gk5eh Good luck! It was surprisingly non-triggering for me, and hope it's the same for you!

[@Jolis_Parsec]

I don’t fear death, but what I do fear is being forgotten by people after I’m gone. That’s something that unfortunately happens to everyone as time continues to pass us by, and I don’t know if I’ll ever come to accept it even if there’s nothing I can do to prevent it.

[@kindestegg9989]

i was raised spiritist, so reincarnation is something i am quite familiar with and very prepared for, and would much rather have than just disappearing. i was just thinking if i had ever had any idea of this wheel before and then i realized i have had between my many vivid dreams, at least quite a few with amusement park themes, often featuring impossibly big ferris wheels. and although not a wheel but a circular object, i recall this specific dream that was eerie but also beautiful about me standing in an amusement park next to my mom and looking up to see the moon, and having to bend my neck impossibly backwards just to see that the moon was suspended by an even bigger, giant air balloon. it felt like something was being revealed to me, and the sense of greatness and looking at something immense was similar to what is described here, although obviously nothing else matches. maybe about how our perception is relative and whatever we see as impossibly large will always have something even larger to it? everything holds onto itself and is cyclical... much like the wheel i guess. (edit) i almost forgot to add, i have never had a near death experience, but my father has. he describes it as feeling himself be lifted up in a spinning motion towards the sky, before spiraling down faster back to earth. not very wheel-like but... the spinning is a circular motion, so.

[@jackdraws25]

I myself have always been more or less obsessed with what happens during or after death, so this video was just absolutely fantastic! Also congrats on 1k+ subscribers, ive been around since the first couple hundred!! :D

[@sombertoboggly]

yes it's like i have a fear of it but my fear has made me also become obsessed. and thank you so much! really glad to hear you enjoyed the video :)

[@froggiefaerie]

your content is so well made and makes me feel so existentially calm. can’t wait to see your channel blow up!!!!

[@sombertoboggly]

thank you!

[@ianmcninch8070]

0:37 holy crap this creepy metronome clip gave me the weirdest feeling cuz I used to have nightmares about metronomes when I was like 4 lmao

[@PartyUnclean]

This "sorting wheel" concept is new to me, but I'll probably hop down that rabbit hole learning more about it, too. Personally I've always been fascinated with snake symbolism and its connection to knowledge. (This started when I read a book by an anthropologist about ayahuasca use in the Amazon, which is basically a spiritual DMT purging ritual.) I think it may have something to do with (communing with?) DNA. Think of the caduceus compared to the double helix structure. Also, in the Vedas it's said that the soul is the size of one ten-thousandth of the size of the tip of a hair. I did the math & guess what falls in the same size range? DNA molecules. There's definitely more out there than we could even begin to comprehend, and stories like this "make sense" to me in a way. Also, I despise the idea of having an individual soul separate from everything/everyone else for eternity. Just let me melt into the universe when I die. Maybe that's the goal of Nirvana/Moksha/Mukti.

[@Miserytourism]

Great video. As someone who has had a very similar fear of death (and especially of death-as-nonexistence) since childhood, I could really relate, and, what's more, it's nice to see one of these "weird reddit deepdive" style videos that's self-consciously and lucidly aware of the existential/psychological anxieties that motivate interest in these topics rather than being purely about farming clicks from a sensational subject. Also the connection to dreams is interesting and seems intuitively powerful in a way I can't totally articulate, except to say that I've had similar-seeming experiences on the cusp of sleep (though no wheel per se).

[@ComradeMarlow]

[some water raises from the ground and takes the shape of a person, then solidifies in human form] The wheel is actually part of a game we play [Disintegrates to dust that blows away in the wind]

[@misha5670]

This idea, this notion doesn't so much terrify me. What did scare the crap out of me since the age of 5-6 was the Christian idea of a Heaven that never, ever, ever ends. Literal eternal life would drive anyone insane if you truely think about it. Instead, i would suggest that time is more important than what comes after death. In the end, one thing is for sure, all of us face death so in that we are not alone. We're all in this together, and there is some comfort in that too.

[@sombertoboggly]

i think the idea of an eternal afterlife freaks me out too. for me, i'm not sure if there is an "ideal" option. like there's nothing i would particularly prefer. but i would probably rather death be nothing than reincarnation. when i was around 11 and started questioning religion, thinking about reincarnation would really bother me. remembering that death is something we all must go through and that we already didn't exist before we were born, is what helps me whenever death is bothering me.

[@rodneybailleaux9221]

I’m glad I’m not alone in this. The idea of existing for eternity is terrifying. I don’t care how great heaven is supposed to be, an eternity of anything sounds more like hell. I’ve always liked the idea of death being a complete end to existence. It seems peaceful to me if that makes sense.

[@signs921]

Ironically the idea of temporary existence is the source of my mental breakdowns, I fear not existing, I hate sleeping, it's painless yet I feel robbed of my time, I'm already limited as a human in life span yet have to give up a 3rd of my day sleeping. Numb, motionless, unconscious. I'd rather exist in damnation burning but still conscious than cease existing. I try to forget about it but it just creeps into the back of my mind tearing my sanity apart. If death is truly the end then nothing means anything, memories and things ripped away from you as you slowly become forgotten. That is mortifying to me at least my consciousness could keep my memories

[@Zdeath]

THIS IS SO WEIRDDDD!! I’ve had the SAME kind of experience that you mentioned at the end of the video as a child as well. Always while laying in bed I’d get like these little flashes of imagery or feelings of something round and big but floaty and weightless. It kinda spooked me when that person on Reddit mentioned that!!

[@reluctant_angel]

As someone who spends every waking moment being terrified of going to Hell, I would find it so comforting to not exist. I either want to go to Heaven or just become nothing. The thought of Hell terrifies me and so does the thought of being dead but conscious and just existing with no body...

[@TacetCat]

Listen, I don't ever proselytize on KZbin comments, but bear with me just this once because your comment hurt my heart. If you already believe there's a Hell, read the New Testament. There's salvation in those pages. Believe in Christ, and you'll never need to fear Hell again.

[@evolvingben5917]

What a bummer. The irony is you're already living in hell by spending your days worrying and fearing it. The good news is that heaven and hell are basically concepts to describe states of consciousness. Heaven is already here if you allow it ;)

[@mysticjumbles3917]

This reminds me of a story I heard where the narrator died and ended up in a space with this counsel of like greater beings. They explained to the narrator that they had lived every life, and will live every life. It was so long ago when I heard this, 10 years maybe? It changed how I viewed life after death. Now a days I believe that afterlife is whatever you believe it to be.

[@mmori673]

are you thinking of the short story the egg?

[@mysticjumbles3917]

@@mmori673 yes I believe that’s it! Thank you for giving me the name of it. I honestly think about this story a lot

[@mmori673]

@@mysticjumbles3917 glad to help! fun fact, the guy who wrote the egg also wrote the martian

[@Y2KHA0S]

makes me think about the time i had a dental procedure done just over a year ago. it was my first time ever having to go under nitrous oxide/laughing gas (and considering my dad told the doctor i have an anxiety disorder, i feel like the dosage i was given was a little higher than normal), and it certainly made me sleepy so i had my eyes closed for most of the procedure. super freaky shit happened though while i was in that half-lucid state - i felt like i was in the active process of slowly dying. there was a light behind my closed eyelids. a small, pinpoint light. but it was always....in motion, and always making what could be interpreted as a small section of a circle. a wheel. like, it started as one light rapidly following a specific curved path and leaving behind a faint trail, repeating the path for several seconds like a gif, then slightly changing in hue and following a different curved path repeatedly. each time it changed hue/path, i felt like i was "advancing" another level into the afterlife, along with a further overwhelming sense of deja vu. really interesting stuff. great video, i just found your channel the other day and love your content!

[@cheri5288]

that honestly sounded like a (wild) dissociative expierience to me. The weird expieriencing of time, the knowing but not simultaniously, the not remembering but also knowing what happened. Thats all stuff I expierience when I dissociate/try to remember forgotten memories. The wheel and stuff is weirder but it being a way for the brain to essentially process the near death expierience makes the most sense to me i think. Something like that is pretty traumatic so it would make sense for the brain to try to process it in an unconventional way. The fact that it was visualized/shown with a wheel is really interesting though. Both from a wheel of fortune (one of the other things it heavily reminded me of) and just... the familiarity/nostalgia of it. Hearing that story felt almost like seeing a liminal space for me, something that feels like I know it, even though I never have. Its really cool. Brains are wacky

[@pythiaonline6666]

I almost suffer from death anxiety and existential dread but somehow u calmed me and didn't make me freak out with the video's theme lol. I have to say, im a fan!! Also, could u please tell me what's the source of the cartoon u put on the last part of the vid? Loved it!

[@sombertoboggly]

thank you glad to hear! and if you mean the little cartoon where the character is driving and then there's a weird frog it's called "face like a frog" by sally cruikshank :)

[@AnimaAspect]

I keep coming back to this video and finding myself relating to the way you talk about your fear of death is really relatable. Also because the whole idea of the sorting wheel is extremely trippy, fiction or nonfiction

[@solara9551]

the ending gave me chills because i’ve always had that happen to me my whole life but never knew how to describe it

[@justmyselfcn]

This is endlessly fascinating to me. Over the years I've cultivated my on personal system of beliefs which I incorporate into my writing, and one aspect that I haven't explored much but definitely keep coming back to is the "cosmic nautiluses" which are giant nautiluses (nautili?) that float around in (for lack of a better term) space, and whose shells contain every possible existence in their chambers. Also, as a child, I was very perturbed by the concept of the infinite. This unnerved me to the extent that I would have panic attacks in the middle of, say, a supermarket because "space doesn't stop somewhere" or "I can never count all the numbers." When I had these panic attacks I would feel this weird feeling like I was both spinning and completely still all at once. Putting names to these things has definitely helped, though.

[@Aaron-oe8xw]

Ty for covering this story, saw it as a repost on reddit and absolutley loved it. I hope you are able to overcome your fear of impermanence, but in this concept the understanding is that all perceptions exist simultaneously. So within this idea you will never "lose" anyone because there is a consistant existence of all things, perceptions, and realities. The story doesnt suggest that we are meaningless meatsacks, it actually suggests that we are spiritually active and permanant at some level. The human "you" is only of this reality and perception but that information thay is you will persist as new realities and perspectives. So for me, this story brought solice and clarification to my own experiences of being thrown through multiple realities where i was killed and reborn several times ("I" being the spiritual self or experience, not the human self) i know it can be troubling to imagine things outside our normal perspective, the biggest thing to think about in this perspective of infinite realities, is that it exists outside of time. Once time is removed from the perspective it allows the viewpoint to come forward that all realities and perspective exists simultaneously. The wheel is representitive pf a cyclical action, the oval is a perspective and is relavant to how we live in a constant hallucination state. Objectivity isnt real, its just a perspective of humans. So from afar it is described as a wheel (or sometime as a never ending cycle or other infinite shapes/concepts) but as the perspective draws close it becomes a plane which distorts the circle into an oval. Our perception of reality is only a slice of what exists, and so our reality distorts upon getting "close". All in all, this brings me to my experience where i was met by a "cosmic gatekeeper" for me, it was a monstrous worm. Like the size of galaxies, its grabbed wlme with it maw and i was shaken violently (only way i can describe it) i became afraid and began to resist and the shaking became more violent. Kinda like how a predator shakes its prey to snap its neck. At some point i gave up, i accepted death and when i did that i was released. This release was in the form of movement so i describe it as "being thrown". I basically cascaded through many existences breifly, each one i observed different entities. In each one i was brutally killed, torn apart, eaten alive, etc. And upon that death i was "reborn" or reintroduced into another experience. I observed the fae, the morrigan, and many other entities during this journey. This went on until i met a being who i can only describe as "a firmament/dome/container that spanned the entire universe". I was inside this container looking outward (like being inside a bubble) the entire edge was covered in a silver grid, the grid was lined with an uncountable number of eyes and it said "do not be afraid" (clearly a reference to my human upbringing within chrisitianity) this interaction was so imposing, it felt like i was being crushed by its presence and i became afraid regardless of the entities words. I striaght up noped out of this experience and was "shoved" back into my body by a feminine entitiy made of darkness and starlight. Super awesome story, i am so glad this has been covered by someone because its one of the coolest stories ive ever read. I really hooe you are able to come to terms with you belief structure, i know it sounds really scary and it is, but once i experienced it, it felt like a weight was lifted from my psyche. I wasnt cured of fear of death or my attatchments to the people i love. But it gave me a sort of reassurance that my perspective is tiny. It also showed me that everything is cyclical, the people and things we love from this material plane exists within this same concept, we are all running the wheel, so in that aspect i think we continue to exist forever. The people you love will always be there, engrained into the universe. Our human experience is just a tiny slice of what is existence and that te attatchments of time and logic are only temporary. Really wishing you the best of luck in your endevours and i look forward to other videos you put out. Subbed.

[@trainman05matthewb.65]

This was a weird, interesting video. Seriously caught my attention with the death discussion at the beginning, especially from a channel that I know for video game lore and empty rooms haha. Another quality project, well done!

[@trainman05matthewb.65]

Never realized I'd relate to the "fear" thing but I definitely do. Now I have a new fear, oh well

[@trainman05matthewb.65]

Finally (didn't think of this till right now) while I've never experienced anything like this, the feeling I got was not dissimilar to when I was in my only car accident. I remember just riding along in the backseat, when suddenly an indescribably loud noise sounded, everything went black, and the noise faded. The noise is hard to describe in person, and even worse over text, but it was a BSHHSHSHshshshshshshs that slowly faded.

[@johndifool456]

This was a really crazy and mind-blowing story, but it fits almost perfectly with some of my experiences and even validated some things. I've done a good amount of different psychedelics, and I've had some pretty powerful experiences but nothing quite like this. Reincarnation isn't that bad, it's actually what I've believed all my life and it's often given me comfort. There is a lot of evidence for it and at least one scientific study that failed to refute or debunk it. I also have scattered memories and a vague understanding of my own past life. If you really want a rabbit hole, and you're really dedicated to finding the answers to your questions, look into the Qabalah (Kabbalah, Cabbalah, etc., the spelling varies). There are also various subreddits and KZbinrs dedicated to these topics. It is...a journey, though, but certainly not one I regret. The real answers can't be found in books (even about the Qabalah), or given by a priest, and can't really be expressed in words, they have to be experienced and understood firsthand. Most of the spiritual traditions that allow one to do this have been either suppressed like the Gnostics and the pagans or watered down to the point of uselessness like most modern new age practices.

[@ChronicNewb]

I have no idea if this is legit the afterlife or an incredibly trippy dream brought on by a near-death brain, but it’s terrifying either way.

[@zipzz6760]

THAT PARAGRAPH AT 20:26 IS SUCH A FAMILIAR FEELING I GET? I am still a teenager, and not frequently, but every few months or so, I get that exact feeling. But the feeling also makes me feel like I should be someone else somewhere else doing something completely different? I thought this was a feeling that only I got but oh my god it feels good to know I'm not the only one.

[@triplesunofone]

The worst prospect for me, is that I have to live the same life, over and over, without any changes for eternity. If reincarnation is a thing then, I look forward to it… as long as it’s different and not just this life again in exactly the same sequence and outcomes. That truly terries me.

[@ifyourequiet]

For me finding peace in the thought of death potentially being nothing was the realization that the temporary nature of precious memories and such would make them even more precious. Sort of a similar thing to the idea that living forever would devalue any experience because you eventually would experience everything

[@TheRealRoyalArtworks]

This video really made me think, it’s really crazy how many ways near death experiences can different but a lot of them have similar elements. And I’m the same when it comes to researching stuff you’re scared of but MAN that curiosity has that grip on ya 😂 and big congrats on over the 1000 subs! You deserve it! 💜

[@sombertoboggly]

it's that morbid curiosity! and thanks so much :)

[@stagecaldwell7234]

The Skyrim music brought me back to reality while trying to process this part 8:34

[@renakunisaki]

This is the first I've heard about this wheel concept, and I've never experienced it myself, yet, I think it's very similar to what I have experienced. So, about 15 years ago I was in an ATV accident. It knocked me unconscious for an hour or so. The incident is almost a complete blank in my memory - I remember riding, then I remember waking up in a hospital, and just a few tiny flashes in between. These memories have never felt "real" either, more like I'm imagining what happened instead of remembering. At that time, nothing supernatural or unexplainable happened, but I feel like something did happen and I just wasn't able to remember. So, recently weed became legal here, so I've started toying with it. About once a month I get really high on a bunch of edibles. When I do that, I have these feelings as if I'm connected to some higher (no pun intended) plane of existence. I've taken to calling it the fifth dimension, since it's beyond the four we have (space and time). For what it's worth, I don't do any other drugs, or even drink. I know, pretty stereotypical stoner stuff. But I feel like there's some validity to it, because it seems like many people who either use drugs or have a near-death experience get very similar experiences. It's of course difficult to explain. It's a feeling of perceiving things beyond what's really there. It's very much like ideas entering my mind from outside. They're concepts and raw thoughts, not words or images, so to translate them to words is very difficult, but every time it happens, I understand it slightly more. I compare it to a dog understanding how its owner controls the lights. Most never even realize the connection, or don't think anything of it. Some of them know there's a link, but they just don't have the capacity to understand how electric lighting works. Just like my puny human brain can only barely understand these ideas it's receiving, but not the full concepts behind them. What I've been able to understand so far is that time has at least two dimensions. It appears linear to us, because we can only perceive one of the dimensions. If we could perceive two, we'd not only be able to move sideways, into different "timelines", but also change direction and move backward. (But, time isn't a series of "lines", any more than a flat surface is.) We can't do that when we're stuck in one dimension - it's like a train trying to turn on its track. People _can_ perceive this fifth dimension just barely. It's comparable to a human's sense of smell vs a dog's. We can smell, but only enough to notice very strong smells; dogs can smell so precisely, they can diagnose cancer, find hidden drugs, know what you've eaten... Most of the time, people don't notice it at all. What this has to do with the accident is, I'm pretty sure that's why I'm able to understand some of these ideas. Because I got knocked out hard. I got knocked "out of" my 4D body into a 5D space. I couldn't remember it consciously (probably just because I couldn't remember much of anything) but some trace of that lingered, so that when I later got high and "saw" this fifth dimension, I recognized what I was looking at because I'd been there briefly before. I think the same thing happened to this person, but they perceived it differently. They were able to actually _see_ part of this extra dimension, and remember. They fell out of their 4D body and were briefly aware of a 5D universe. They were able to look across the time plane and see the infinite other times existing parallel to our own. They felt themselves still bound to that body, snapping back into it. They didn't so much "see" as "perceived" a wheel because, well, when you project a higher dimension into a lower one, it takes on strange geometric patterns and impossible shapes. Still being bound to a 4D brain, they weren't able to truly comprehend what they experienced. Their mind could only relate it to roughly similar concepts like wheels and spokes. It's like how you can only describe a smell by comparing it to another, and if you were to experience a truly unique smell, you'd have no way to describe it. This person can't describe what they experienced, because they have no similar experience to compare it to. They know they were outside of "time" as we know it, but how do you explain that? They know this thing existed outside of the concept of size and shape as we understand them, because those are the concepts of size and shape in four dimensions, not five. This concept sounds a bit "out there" and silly, but it's made me understand so much. I no longer fear death because I know it's not the end - there is no end, and no beginning. I've already experienced it, even though it hasn't happened yet. Time is just like space - there's a time in which you exist and a time you don't, just as there's a place you're in and places you aren't. Birth is us entering these four dimensions, and death is us entering that fifth dimension. Once you do that, you naturally move to some other place in time, that's no longer visible from this linear slice we can perceive now, so you no longer exist as far as we can see, but you do exist, unbound by the constraints of a four-dimensional universe. When you think about it, this explains a lot. Many unexplained/paranormal events can be attributed to someone or something passing through our slice of time, especially when they're able to move freely in a 2D (or more?) space. Probably, people don't tend to directly interfere, either because they know they don't need to/shouldn't, or because it's difficult. Ghosts? People partly overlapping with our timeline. UFOs? Some object accidentally poking its butt into our dimension. Impossible coincidences? Someone giving us a helping poke in the right direction. Ultimately, the concept of individuals is meaningless. We are all just part of this at-least-five-dimensional universe. The wheel is just how a 5D spacetime looks when projected into 4D and interpreted by a mind that only exists in four dimensions and has no experience with a fifth dimension to relate this experience to.

[@MrMonochromatic]

All of these videos of yours that I've watched today keep pulling my single most favorite track out of every soundtrack used 💕 Love the content.

[@tyson211]

I’ve had the same recurring experience throughout my life where I start to remember something important that feels very familiar. I’ve never told anyone about it because I didn’t know how to describe it. This is very strange and unsettling.

[@rowan6488]

this was fascinating, i absolutely love your content. your videos are so well researched, written and delivered and you can tell a lot of time and effort go into them. i really hope your channel blows up soon so it can get the attention it deserves !! :)

[@126_kaifali4]

7:52 As a kid, I would experience these little "it WAS so, and I knew it was so" moments often that i found hard to confess up until now. My brain would just receive a mature peace of information about the cosmos somehow and it would later turn out to be true even though I had never been taught about it before

[@sombertoboggly]

i remember when i was a kid as well, my mom would ask me how i knew something if it seemed odd that i did, and i'd always respond with something like "cause i just do" so i can relate in a sense

[@anonymouscandle1223]

I had this too, by the age of like 9-10 i'd already figured out the concept of parallel branching realities that are born from every little choice a person makes. And what the outside of the universe would be like. At the time I just assumed it'd either be nothing at all or more universe and matter for eternity. As I've gotten older I've just settled into the idea that either the universe as a whole is infinately larger than we have any concept of, or that its just growing into itself.

[@glassdinosaur]

I had never seen or heard of this before and it FUCKED me up. Thank you so much for sharing! What a wild ride.

[@delusionenjoyers]

Kylieeeee i love your videos so much you are such a great narrator ❤️❤️

[@solomonrivers5639]

“The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” Vladimir Nabokov That weirdly always gave me some comfort knowing I didn’t have emotions or memories during the Bronze Age either

[@littlebighead4482]

This was so coo, and I do feel a sort of strange vague familiarity with this wheel concept. It's pretty creepy. 😭

[@MattBoldin]

Just found this channel today, awesome stuff! Great video

[@tharxis3803]

Could this possibly be connected to people experiencing deja vu at specific moments in their life? Maybe because these are the moments that something happened to them in an alternate reality?

[@D3g3no]

This is terrifying more than comforting

[@HellHound60007]

this whole video I was thinking about spear of destiny, then I heard them really quietly in the background and couldn't tell if I was going insane. saw spear about a month ago, supporting big country. never listened to them before, was sufficiently blown away. nice video

[@FrenkMelk]

That's some really good imagery provided in the narration. I am up kind of early and doing some manual labor really contemplating the experience this person went through. Well done.

[@the_real_Kurt_Yarish]

I think this story is fictitious in one way or another, but regardless I think it's a very compelling narrative visually and thematically and that it would serve well as a big budget short film. Also, I too recall experiencing the sensation of a large "presence" while lying down to sleep but still awake. To me, I never perceived it as a distinct shape or object, more of a mass lacking distinct form. It brought to mind being shrunk down to the size of an ant and experiencing the enormity of something like a regular-sized pillow or couch cushion. Soft, yet immense in a way that intimidated and awestruck. I also remember associating it with my mother, and I think that association came on from the fear I had caused by my parents once quietly arguing in the living room as I tried to sleep. My mom was more emotional and expressive when arguing than my dad ever was, in a way that could feel imposing at times. I would continue to have this sensation occasionally over the course of more than a decade, nearly two. Very rare, with years separating occurrences, but always familiar. At least once I caught it just as I was waking up from sleep, and it startled me so that it woke alert and on edge. But normally it would happen as I was awake, usually when I was struggling to sleep for whatever reason, lying with my eyes closed but very much conscious and aware. I think I've had one recently, within the last two years or so (perhaps longer), after a long bout without one. I can't recall when exactly, and it may be a false memory, but I remember how it brought me surprise and nostalgia as it had by then faded from my active mind almost completely until the re-experience reminded me. Even now, so long since, I can feel it as if it had happened a day ago, or even mere hours. I wonder if it has to do with a subconscious recollection of the pre-natal womb? Not full memories, but more of a feeling?

[@maxidge4]

I have often got the 'alice in wonderland' effect while laying down with my eyes closed, where things i imagine (whether individual objects, or the room around me) shrink and grow uncontrollably. But grow in a way that it feels like it's 'breaching' the size of my mind. But sometimes, I picture this object that i just can't describe. It shrinks and grows despite not having a comprehendable visual form. A concept? This wheel story reminds me of that, and makes me wonder if either I'm seeing a snippet of whatever the wheel is, or if the OP's mind created a similar vision that they've attempted to put into words, with it being in such a traumatic circumstance.

[@mitchyoza14]

The intro to this video is literally my exact reaction towards Death but I've never really been able to describe or explain it until you've just said exactly it, thank you for that 😅

[@juniorburger1621]

new favorite channel

[@jrist15]

I really like this story for a few reasons! As a child, I have two very interesting memories regarding a wheel type scenario. The first is that oftentimes while drifting off and trying to fall asleep, I remember a similar sense that the person described in the paragraph. I remember feeling light and an infinite spinning, and feeling upside down and all the directions at once. It always made me feel weird while it was happening, but when it stopped I wished I could go back. I hadn't experienced this again until later in life when I smoked for the first few times, although it wasn't the same feeling 100%. Another more important story is how my earliest memory, I remember feeling like I was spinning in a circle very fast, before it all slowed down and I bended into reality. I was maybe 3 years old and this is the memory I believe happened when I first gained consciousness. I just remember being in the bathroom of my house, feeling like I had just emerged from a washing machine, and a silvery, mercury like color all around me. I remember holding and looking at a picture frame as well, of my mom in the hospital, maybe from when I was first born. It makes me wonder if this was the moment, if there is some truth to this, that I "emerged" from the wheel. I remember this moment and exactly how it felt, and I felt a million seconds all at once collapse into a single memory of me emerging from the "washing machine," and becoming aware of my hands and what they contained.

[@Nalhek]

The thing is that if you listem to real near death experiences, they are almost always very consistent in many respects. This story has several aspects which seem to point to trending ideas in fiction (like multiple timelines, etc) that you never hear about from actual NDEs. To me that indicates that this is a work of fiction (as with most "true spooky stories" on reddit), but it was a fun story. I think people who found this interesting should look up first hand acounts on YT. there are literally hundreds of them, and the commonalities are very intriguing.

[@BathingInAcheron]

Amazing video! I'm neither religious nor spiritual in any way, but this seems so interesting to me and I never see ANYONE talking about this phenomenon. So many different cultures around the world use wheels either symbolically or literally to describe the concept of life, death, and rebirth. Hell the phrase "the circle of life" is just further proof that concept stuck with us subconsciously for centuries as humanity migrated to different parts of the globe. As someone who is into anthropology, it makes me so curious to know where this idea originated in human history.

[@jaspi7615]

interesting video! especially interesting to watch it now, as only a few weeks ago i had a bit of an existential crisis about the idea of dying. funny coincidence, i can relate to a lot of the fears you talked about.

[@wolfetteplays8894]

Big ups for using the crystal palace music. Always a good one for establishing a weird atmosphere

[@pabloj1789]

Love your videos, keep making this kinda philosophical topics, its so interesting, and the reddit ones as well 👏👏👏

[@sarvolkskaya]

I’m late but love that you used AIC’s instrumental, fits very well with the spooky aspect of the video. Grew up with the lead singer and it always makes me happy seeing people use their music lol. This shit is spooky though. I’d never heard of this either and now I’m freaked out lol

[@sombertoboggly]

alice in chains is such a good band, it's awesome you grew up with him, layne seemed like a great guy :)

[@accuwau]

holy shit i just started tearing up, randomly in my life ill get these panic attacks and thats just how ive always described them but it has always been feeling this presence of something immeasurably big or growing or just general infinite size i dont even know how to feel atm

[@Ux_xU]

I have had a dream experience similar to the feelings and sudden understanding in that post. The being(??) wasn’t in a wheel form, but more of a hyper powerful computer with one red light. (Something like a VCR in shape). I’ve never heard someone explain that feeling of sudden complete understanding only when infront of it and I’ve never felt anything like it before or after. I knew it was powerful and it’s purpose was to sort me in a similar way to reincarnation. I wish I could remember if there was any kind of talking, but I just know that I really really wanted to touch it and attempted to - though it was massive and impossibly far away despite being pretty close. Never been spiritual in any way, but I couldn’t function the next day from the residual feelings after waking up. Really cool to see something close in effect written down! Anyway, loved this video, your voice is perfect for this kind of video. So happy I found this channel!

[@itsmjeezy2596]

Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, and the wheels would rise along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels Ezekiel 1:20 This story is very similar to what Ezekiel described, "A wheel within a wheel" "full of eyes all around" Ezekiel 10:9 "And when I looked, behold the four wheels by the cherubim, one wheel by one cherub, and another wheel by another cherub and the appearance of the wheels was as the color of aberyl stone. And as for their appearances, the four had one likeness, as if a wheel had been in the midst of a wheel.” He describes an infinite wheel which bears similarities to the Samsara wheel, which is basically a representation of the endless and beginningless cycle of life and death and rebirth in Buddhism beliefs. Very interesting.

[@jamm6_514]

Yeah i was trying to figure out if someone else had also thought this

[@XxxHawk66]

The description of "vague imagery/weight/slight memory" also resonates with me in a pretty major way, it's a sensation that I've felt a few times in life but the first and most notable instance was shortly after I had broken my leg when I was 10. I remember laying in the hospital bed, all of my family members gathered around in their own pockets of the room and that one metal cartoon(Metalpocalypse I think?) was playing on the TV, when this absolutely crushing weight overcame me. It was like a giant boulder was slowly being pressed down onto me as I laid there, my breathing felt shallow and I had this really intense mental image of this light brown/tan sphere that filled the room. It appeared to be completely smooth but with various cracks across it's surface. The feeling lasted for an excruciating amount of time and I remember looking around the room trying to get someone's attention, when it finally ended I shot up in bed and began breathing heavily while my parents tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I tried to explain what happened but I couldn't, I just told them there was this pressure and they took it as me saying that I needed to go to the bathroom. I've experienced a similar sensation a few other times in recent years (I'm currently 23) but none of them have even compared to the intensity of that first experience. I still think about it often, might even consider bringing it up to my family to see what they remember or if they've ever experienced something similar.

[@MatthewSomethingOrOther]

I read this story when it was posted and it's stick with me ever since. I was just thinking about it the other day.

[@hekates-ladder]

I revisit this video often. There’s something about the Wheel - and the way wheels and circles appear in almost all belief systems - that I find comforting.

[@JamesChessman]

Awesome vid and I love the footage used, plus I love the honest thoughts, plus it’s great to hear Zelda 64 :)

[@simonDopeSRB]

This made me instantly remember the Poem "Pale Fire", there's a part where the author describes a near death experience: "I can't tell you how I knew--but I did know that I had crossed The border. Everything I loved was lost But no aorta could report regret. A sun of rubber was convulsed and set; And blood-black nothingness began to spin A system of cells interlinked within Cells interlinked within cells interlinked Within one stem. And dreadfully distinct Against the dark, a tall white fountain played."

[@zeeby24]

This story really captures me more than any existential concept has before

[@2102082]

The intro is definitely interesting. I have been hoping more and more that after death everything just ends. No heaven, hell, purgatory, reincarnation, or anything. Just the great void. But that could also be due to how I'm pretty much always tired cause of long days at work and stuff

[@PumpkinPanda-]

I experienced something similar in my teens, it wasn't an accident or anything, I just suddenly felt connected to everything and every possible reality. It freaked me out so I cancelled my date on that morning and went back to bed because I was scared of what letting this feeling sink in would mean for me. Other instances are more like knowing what will happen, choosing to not react like I was "supposed" to, things continuing as I expected they would and then suddenly something weird happening like a test I didn't practice for being cancelled last minute, when I knew I was "supposed" to fail that test. It's why I believe we exist in many worlds at the same time, maybe we are even one divine soul dreaming in order to experience and every person is another incarnation of that, so if you ever hurt someone you indirectly hurt yourself because you have experienced that as that person/will experience it someday

[@haileybalmer9722]

I’ve read quite a few of these stories, and the most common element is the person reporting thinking that what they saw is correct and everyone else’s near death visions are either lies or something their brains made up to comprehend the truth that the OP saw. I’m always like, wait, they’re completely certain, too. How do YOU know this isn’t something your brain just made up? I’ve been the Bardo myself, as described in the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and I saw it before I read about it I’m not the only one, either. I know it’s there, as certainly as I know I’m here. Does that mean this person’s experience is a delusional lie? I do not think that is what’s happening. I think asking what happens when you die is a lot like asking what happens when you’re alive. What happens when you die involves a lot of factors. Where are you? How did you die? What do you believe? What kind of person are you? I’m also troubled by the fact that one time I was smoking salvia (legal in my state) and the characters from the cartoon I was watching came out of the screen, strapped me to an enormous wheel on its side, and spun me backward through time. I saw snippets of my life and then snippets of other lives before that. It’s weird that I saw and felt that. I haven’t talked to anyone else who had a similar experience, but apparently the giant sideways wheel is something people see on salvia.

[@lesliemartin3]

More than enough information from your video that I need to do some serious reading tonight thank you so much as always 😍

[@sombertoboggly]

you're welcome, always love your comments! :)

[@sexygirlmax2019]

"baby's first cat teleportation" is sooo real cats will literally teleport and u cant convince me otherwise