The "Neighborhood Watch" Is a Joke | James Gregory

Comedian James Gregory on the neighborhood watch.
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[@dougparson4407]

I purchased a house in 1996 that was built in 1923 and needed work. I fixed it up and put an oak porch swing on the front porch. I used to smoke cigars out there in the evenings. I sold it a few years later and just drove by that house 6 months ago. That same porch swing was still on the front porch and it brought a smile to my face! Great Memories !!

[@truecountry5374]

If you didn't grow up in the country you don't truly appreciate him. One of the greatest comedians ever

[@johnmatarazzo9178]

So true

[@cherylharwood7267]

So true Amen 💗

[@marshaburch7202]

He is absolutely the funniest guy ever. So intertaining

[@brandonvaughn8118]

So true

[@Icehso140]

That's because in the country it's not called comedy...it's called life. LOL

[@johnlarney616]

In the 70s, my mother used to say 3 of the worst things to happen to our culture was TV, air conditioning and no more covered Front Porches. We've all gone inside instead of sitting out on the porch till the cool of evening talking and sharingwith neighbors. Today most of the country doesn't even know their immediate neighbors, they're locked inside watching cable or addicted to their cell phones.

[@tubbers20]

I have a very small porch. It's still a porch. 😄

[@SaturdaySportsman]

Agree except for AC. Man, I live in Phoenix. There is no cool evening air here. Blast furnace 24/7. 😆

[@claudedalton8970]

AND I AGREE! CELL PHONES ARE PROBABLY THE WORST PROBLEM THESE DAYS!

[@357bullfrog9]

Your .momma was EXCATLY right too

[@nanaobx]

Truth!

[@Bbendfender]

I just discovered this guy tonight. He's hilarious.

[@jamespatterson9372]

Mee too dude..

[@keithcronk7980]

AMEN

[@themanyousendtokilltheboog3900]

Me t

[@mrdaynne]

Same

[@1950steele]

And not a bad word comes out of his mouth. Fresh comedy.

[@MindHunger]

I like his theory about porches.

[@heatherlowe7330]

It is true. I wave at total strangers cuz hey they might be people I know from somewhere and they will mention it. "Saw you on the porch yesterday" "You didn't have when I saw you the other day"

[@2DanTube]

YEP - I grew up on both grandparents' front porches.

[@golisland]

Amen!!!

[@MyDarkSide62]

Dated a girl in a nearby small town. Her house had a front porch.... AND a side by side swinging chair on it. Located on Main Street (not kidding). I loved sitting out there waving at people, talking to people walking by. A life I never knew..... but guess it just made sense to me - especially in this modern excuse for life. Miss her and miss that porch. Cute little house as well. I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

[@tcarpenter4703]

‘If they had a deck Opie would be on drugs right now!’ This is too funny!! 😍

[@PurpleLightning6was9]

But didn't the house not have a porch either?

[@chiphobby2443]

@@PurpleLightning6was9 Dont overthink it lol. Just enjoy the joke.

[@WilliamBaywood]

😂

[@chrispile3878]

He's not wrong about porches....

[@2ndarmoredhellonwheels106]

I can remember sitting on porch after supper handcranking homemade ice cream. Didnt have cable t.v or computer just t.v with 4 channels. It was a lot better then.

[@beverlymccollum8861]

Love this man. He is what you call a real man and he is very funny to boot.

[@christchild211]

So true. Front porch, Iced tea, Coffee Donuts and Neighbors. We didn't see our neighbors do without, if at all possible, either.

[@bigp2930]

I listen to this man and he reminds me that the entire country isnt afraid to speak truth or be politically correct. Won't be long before these clips disappear.

[@lethewaterkai]

But this was 100% politically correct. Its just funny. Its possible without being a monster

[@chrisyonkus7424]

Big P your Probley Right!

[@crossbones80]

I hope you're wrong

[@claudiaporter4269]

You just have to LOVE HIM. Always speaks the truth.

[@magnificentmuttley154]

2 years, 182 likes, & counting!

[@tmathis5931]

Love his humor, reminds me of my family

[@williamgrissom1995]

He brings to mind, with humor, a better time in my opinion.

[@terrystreetproductions1873]

Spent evenings as recently as three years ago sitting on the front porch with my cousin Robert as we enjoyed each other's company and talking about everything and anything that crossed our minds from the neighbors cat to our favorite country singers. Robert has since passed on and I miss him dearly. I just hope they have FRONT PORCHES IN HEAVEN and I believe with ALL MY HEART they do. James you are without a doubt the Funniest Man In America.

[@MyDarkSide62]

Your cousin is sitting on a porch now - don't you think he isn't

[@Think1st214]

They Do

[@michaelyoung2589]

I remember so well sitting on the front porch of my grandma's house in Kentucky stringing beans. We would sit and talk and have a wonderful time laughing and telling stories. If you didn't experience times like that I feel sorry for you. It was the best of times.

[@madtownangler]

We had an old picnic table to do peas and snap beans on. I couldn't wait until my mom pealed apples to can in the fall we could eat all the apple peals we wanted to that night I would call the other kids over for that. I remember when my mom would pick small cucumbers and we'd fill up the kiddie pool and we'd each have a brush to clean them off with. We didn't have a microwave until 1983 so everything was home cooked back then too. My foster mom didn't work but between the two gigantic gardens, the house, and kids she was pretty busy all day except for two hours of soap operas she would watch every day. My dad had a full time job then worked for his nephew at the gas station down the street a couple nights a week, and we'd cut the cemetery lawn and trees on his days off. I remember Wednesday nights and all day Sunday we would go to church and they had youth group stuff they would do because we had the church bus in our yard

[@2nd_1strant36]

Our sign worked like a charm. "Neighborhood Watch, sponsored by Smith and Wesson"

[@dulceb1100]

Mine reads....."Beware of the Dog....He's out there Somewhere"

[@arrlmember]

Neighborhood watch groups are almost as ineffective as gun free zones when it comes to keeping people safe. What keeps people safe is the Second Amendment

[@2nd_1strant36]

@@arrlmember that was why our sign said "...sponsored by Smith and Wesson" Everyone on the watch had ccw permits

[@garythoramiolla5345]

@@dulceb1100 ;;;;;;;

[@Pinky_Bubbles]

I can happily say I was lucky when I found my house , cause we have a front porch & all summer we sit outside watchin the dogs play , spend time together with our family on the front porch & it's true , that porch has brought our family closer just cause of how often we spend on it.

[@delorestaylor8114]

And momma dog with a litter of pups to boot.

[@Pinky_Bubbles]

@@delorestaylor8114 No , I'm a responsible furkid owner , all of my dogs are fixed & have been since we rescued them , I don't believe in breeding animals , to many are in shelters dying from over population. I can honestly say that since I was a kid every furbaby I have ever had I always got them fixed because I didn't want to be part of the problem.

[@porschetech72901]

@@KM-nq7ez build one dont "settle"

[@kidwave1]

Its not the front porches going away, its the televisions coming in.

[@georgex.patton.5362]

That is what my Mother always said... a/c and tv killed the front porch.

[@valerief1231]

True, never thought about that. Here in Texas, I gotta agree with the A/C comment. I’m in a region where it’s not unusual to get 115° July and August. Now I have a “smart” phone I can sit on my porch and watch TV 😂

[@googlesthedevil6989]

Talmudvision

[@sheilaarnold3218]

TV =The idiot box!

[@MommeeMadre1]

We rolled the tv out onto the porch for those "big shows"

[@alliyahdog7038]

Lov this man he bring back some great memories about our porch ♥️♥️♥️

[@claudiaporter4269]

Do you remember when we put our crazy relatives on the Front Porch and gave them a Drink?

[@MP-ef6mc]

I personally think he may be right about his theory about porches. America has gotten so busy we don’t have time to sit on a front porch.

[@rtopalovich]

We don't HAVE front porches anymore.

[@MP-ef6mc]

Thanks for proving my point. Why have one if you don’t have time for it.

[@kellyu765]

My brother ( 56 years old ) just past away this week very unexpectedly. You were his very favorite comedian... he took me to see you when you came to Charlotte NC and we laughed till we hurt. Those are great memories together... and seeing this tonight made me laugh and smile for the 1st time in days... thank you!! 😊

[@kellyu765]

And btw Andy Griffith was our all time favorite show.... so this was great!

[@juliemonarch7364]

My condolences Sweetie, sent you a virtual hug. It's really hard to get through.

[@marygalati5195]

Sorry for your loss. Love and prayers for your 👪 family 💕

[@cedarshoals529]

Sorry for your loss. :(

[@kellyu765]

@Julie Monarch... thank you so much ! Yes it’s one of the hardest things I’ve been through... he was not just my brother but only sibling and very best friend!

[@michaelwhisman7623]

The best front porches had two swings facing each other.

[@brothertimothy6703]

I had to buy a house that was built in 1955 to have a porch. I spend alot of time on the porch.

[@louisewilliams7945]

My husband was a northerner and im southern and that part of waving was dead on!

[@marknan5352]

When i was a kid , mom , dad and i knew all the neighbors up and down the block.

[@molonlabe2645]

My sign reads: prayer is a great way to meet the lord. Trespassing is even faster.

[@malcolmt7883]

Trespassers will be violated.

[@NYD666]

@@malcolmt7883 think it'd be more humane to just shoot em

[@keithcronk7980]

@@NYD666 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍THANK YOU

[@dougrebertus7107]

Mine reads: "If you can read this, you are in range." It's posted on a tree just as you pass over the bridge over my creek.

[@Ms.HarmonyJ]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lrb3989]

I remember as a kid growing up in the country I would stand and wave at people driving on the highway

[@claudiaporter4269]

Of course you did.

[@marynobles4363]

My house was built in 1945 and for sure has a Front Porch!!! Love you Mr Gregory, you’re FUNNY!

[@charliemay9893]

Putting on a front porch this spring because of this video. All my neighbors have fences to keep their kids and dogs in. I took the time to train my killer Bassett hound to stay in the yard.

[@NYD666]

Really? All our dogs play with each other. They know to come home

[@freedomwoodgasandoffgridin8925]

We have a large Mastiff He doesn't like people We have no trespassers!!!

[@patirvin-bz9pg]

So true. Every parent knew what every kid was doing. Every parent was your parent, especially when you did something wrong.

[@bobn.5173]

I'm going to start building a front porch

[@beaconterraoneonline]

James Gregory is brilliant.

[@vickiebunch5703]

That man is so funny and his stories are pure Americana!

[@georgeakersjr4289]

That's so funny! I have my old refrigerator that still works on my front porch! It's been there for a few years now!!

[@madtownangler]

My dad's old fridge is in his shop the freezer doesn't work but the fridge part does. He keeps extra pop.and beer out there along with fishing bait. They keep the wine out in the garage and the homemade wine down in the basement where my dad makes it. He's going on two years in his large bottles right now for his latest batch before he bottles it

[@bevsumner4628]

James once again you hit a home run.ty

[@rondelby2482]

He is decent and does not use vulgar language. I like this man. I just discovered him but I do not know if he is still with us or not. I hope so.

[@DaveTex2375]

Also, neighborhood crime is low when pappy sits on his front porch with his shotgun.

[@kathyduby8150]

He's not just funny, he is right.

[@7ctransportcarpenter557]

Got front and back porch!! We love our porch looking across the yard at the county road making memories!!!😃

[@billgateskilledmyuncle23]

Tracy Lawrence: if the world had a front porch...

[@namsayn3179]

I love this guy. Tonight is my introduction to him and I’m in love.

[@tonyaokins9138]

I have had a terrible weekend alot of tears involved. With it. but James Gregory cheers me right up ❤😂

[@usmc-veteran73-77]

Great love it. We had the front porch.

[@victorialove9104]

I'm so glad I still have a front porch. My neighbor does too. Love it.

[@glendaburton3923]

Love his humor. Just started seeing him recently 😂❤

[@fdmackey3666]

Comin' from the "Front Porch Generation" I clearly recall settin' next to my Grand Daddy and Grandmother and watchin' the cars and trucks go by on what was first a dirt road and later the "paved road" and doin' the wave and gossip thing....And when Grand Daddy said something along the lines, regarding a stranger walkin' or ridin' by the house, of "He best not come up on our place."...He meant it....Since there was a 12 gauge break top shotgun leanin' up against the wall within easy reach....Loaded with 00 buckshot...Just sayin'....And just in case Grand Daddy needed to reload....Daddy had a short barreled .38 in his pocket....

[@olliefoxx7165]

I'm thinking similar. We would sit out there with my grandparents. Grandma would call some scandalous woman a "Jezebel" , Grandpa would be petting his white german shepherd teasing her about it. We kids would wait for the Frost boys to come race their Novas down the gravel road. They would come by rip roaring and slinging.gravel everywhere. There'd be a dust cloud 20 feet high chasin those cars. We would hoop and holla, grandpa would laugh and grandma would shut the screen door.

[@brianfraneysr.5326]

Right on James. True even up here in the north. And we all knew our neighbors. Used to love sitting on the porch on a rainy summer night. Slept out there sometimes too.

[@jerryupp4984]

My neighborhood watch was the neighbors on their porch with a shotgun or pistol next to them

[@gregb6469]

Sounds like a safe neighborhood!

[@freedomwoodgasandoffgridin8925]

Amen to that brother!!

[@michellepost2986]

Remember the porch swing? They were nice. During the 1960's-1970's when I was a child and teen, in summer we'd sit on the porch in evenings. My brothers and I would wonder where people driving by were going.Alot of houses in my town still have large front porches but people prefer using computers and watching tv now, and staying in a/c. In my youth, the porch was sat on in summers to feel cooler, because alot of us had no a/c. James Gregory is hilarious, and his comedy makes him like a spokesman for us baby boomers. LOL.

[@paulbunch5657]

My Uncle and Aunt moved in the 60's to the D.C. area. My aunt, years later, told me that she went door to door knocking just to meet her neighbors. Weeks after, they set folding tables up in a driveway and all the families brought a covered dish over! 😊

[@LesterMoore]

Other things that got put on the front porch: the old couch, the old recliner, the fishing cooler, the old transistor radio - the one with the sharp broken handle, deck of 51 playing cards, Grandpa. What did you have on your porch?

[@nancy6160]

My blue Murray Ohio bicycle named Nellie, two chairs and a swing

[@grantgarrod2232]

I miss sitting on the porch with family, friends, & neighbors on a rainy afternoon or evening, just peacefully chatting & listening to the rain. And if not on a porch, it was in lawn chairs under a carport, or a garage with the door open, especially during the first rain after a long, hot stretch in the summer. Many of the best & funniest stories & jokes I ever heard were in one of those places, just passing time with pleasant company.

[@glenncarver3896]

I grew up country…….Appalachia………Left there at 16……..but I still cry when I see and hear banjos and clogging……..Irish Step Dance makes me jump……..My friends say …….What ?…….

[@kimtodd1803]

He is so hilarious 🤣🤣 it's true about porch grandparents had porch front lot of great precious memories. When he says deck it's sounds hilarious 🤣🤣

[@deanvaillancourt2881]

My favorite sign: "TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED"

[@titaniumgreen5367]

And with flashbacks for years to come..

[@stilldajoker]

My maternal grandparent's house had that big covered front porch. That's where us young grandkids were during our parent's 2 week summer vacation.

[@maryw3989]

I don't have much of a front porch but I can sit on my front porch on my chair in a bag and someday when I can afford another chair in a bag I can have a friend sit on my front porch with me.

[@grizzle273463]

As a cyclist in NC I cannot count the times where strangers, on their porch, just waved at me as I was cruising on thru.

[@deel2621]

In the South it was the invention of AC that killed front porch sittin. It how they cooled off in the evening, the house was as hot as blue blazes

[@andrean9413]

I sure wish I had a front porch and lived where people passed by so I could wave. I sure miss that. I have a great screened porch but it’s in the back. 😏

[@elliottpeabody1287]

That's called a "deck"! A deck!

[@debragoforth7477]

7:00 going through the TN roads everyone waved

[@angelbulldog4934]

North Carolina too. We didn't want folks to think we were uppity. 😊

[@nancy6160]

That's right. Tennessean here.

[@barbaraepperson1551]

Love James Gregory

[@549BR]

Once air conditioners arrived, front porches disappeared.

[@angeljohnson7899]

Discovered jame S Gregory about 8 mths ago and love his comedy!!!!!

[@ameliatoreson1590]

I miss that house I grew up in . It had a big porch that had screens we put on in the summer . We don't know our neighbors like we use to .

[@maxxmabemwe4859]

When I cash in all of my stock, I am going to have a house built with a porch on it that wraps all the way around that house. When the sun is rising in the east in the morning I am going to sit on the back porch and sip my coffee. When the sun is setting in the west in the evening I am going to sit on the front porch and sip my lemonade. In between those hours is when I am going to get all of my work done, now that is some high-class living.

[@joaoportesantava1412]

Comedy without profanity is difficult I would believe much more so then others. What a talent and extremely funny and observant he is. R.I.P.

[@robindawtrey9735]

He's not dead.

[@MrTurtluv]

I miss those days.

[@johnchandler1687]

My grandmother's house when I was a kid ( 71 now) went across the front and was 15 ft wide. The half where the front door to the loving room was was open, but the other half was screened in and had to sets of bunk beds on it. During the hot Louisiana summers we'd sleep out there. You really don't miss AC if you've never had it. ( 15 ft deep, not wide.)

[@yavin99]

That's why my deck is on the front of my house.

[@adamsbrs260]

Love this guy!!

[@carolyndeasoncavernmusicho3349]

You can take a short cut through my pasture but ya better be fast cause that bull can cross it in 9 seconds.

[@ahuddleston6512]

Golly...reminds me of my childhood in Norf Caroliner...wink 😉😜

[@joannharden8867]

Your observations are exactly what I remember 😎

[@gaelicwarrior5064]

My Southern "community" put up neighborhood watch signs. They were promptly stolen.

[@freedomwoodgasandoffgridin8925]

Ha, ha, ha! Laughing out loud!!!

[@happycook6737]

Oh my, that's awful.

[@Chris_Troxler]

I swear, if I'm ever able to build my house, it's gonna have a damn front porch.

[@mikmik9034]

"Neighbourhood Watch", gives the biddy a right to snoop. We built a Front 'deck' only for the EMT to rest when bringing in the Guernsey. Prior we had only a stoop. That olde refrigerator went into the cellar with the new Freezer. [BTW, we was Mountain Williams, that is Rich Hillbillies proven by we had linoleum on the floors.]

[@darlatidwell6255]

Very funny, and always right!

[@peggybowen3381]

You hit the nail on the head

[@jimmydykes7961]

I built my house from the ground up...love sitting on it watching the rain and my crops grow

[@brentgilbert6613]

He got me wanting some cooked cabbage

[@kathywilliams9615]

How am I just now finding this man…he’s a wonderful comedic genius…much appreciated comedy…THANK YOU…

[@pamelabarrera5074]

I love this guy.i laugh till I cry.. thx for sharing ♥

[@boonykins3933]

Thank you this is so needed in 2022!..

[@mbyrd6713]

Lol, that’s why I love living in the country. We sit in the yard and watch cars go by. It’s better than tv 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sharonboone4289]

He’s so funny! I love his shows!😂

[@michaelcowan6254]

We have a front deck and a back deck. We sit on the front deck and I grill on the back deck, with my old refrigerator full of beer.

[@annm9139]

I love my front porch!!

[@gordonray3091]

He makes me laugh. He's cool.

[@sharonboone4289]

I liked his story about mating in the back seat of a Honda Civic. It was hilarious!😂

[@barryh8922]

Best ever!

[@williamforthman9084]

Make a sign saying " This neighborhood is protected by our porch".

[@briancarney3443]

Awesome Comedic Talent, Makes it Look so Easy!

[@barbrice721]

In Wva at camp on fishcreek. The first thing you learn is to throw your hand up when someone drives by. Its hilarious when a 2 year old does it without looking up.

[@russellgilbert3453]

A deck, a damn deck!

[@davereed6376]

Beautiful. Kevin Mathews played james years ago. I'll never stop loving it!

[@greghelms4458]

Saw him live. Wished he’d shut up a minute so I could breathe. 😝😝

[@Gablesman888]

Front porches would make porch pirates pretty much non-existent.

[@80srocker67]

Funniest guy I’ve seen in years. Bravo!!!

[@hughstephenson2957]

I have a FRONT deck!! Lol

[@patirvin-bz9pg]

It's funny how garages have turned into front porches. People sit in there the way they used to sit on the front porch