the office committing crimes for 10 minutes straight | Comedy Bites

[@ComedyBites]

Test your Office know-how with The Office Holiday quiz, premiering December 19 4PM EST 7PM PST! Set a reminder here kzbin.info/www/bejne/aJ-VoIdqadR8kKs 🔔

[@provacu]

“I am an adult: I don’t have to think or do anything” - the phrase is underrated and deep in a way

[@Wolffman109]

Pretty much sums up my relationship with my parents.

[@ire1398]

It describes the philosophy of every school board in the US.

[@ajgerbi]

Reminds me of the quote “I’m an *american* , I don’t ‘have’ to understand ANYTHING.” From Scream Queens.

[@mpj20000]

Just remember, it's just TV., it's not real, and adults actually do know more than dependents.

[@razofdead]

@@mpj20000 not really

[@ryanguerin6556]

I love how 90% of this is Dwight and Michael overreacting

[@VicRattl3h3ad]

Oh you don't even KNOW what overreacting is. It's about to get all OVERREACTING up in here!!!

[@miranda13c]

Most of the chaos on this show starts for that very reason 😂

[@december1to31]

I would be shocked if it wasn't

[@Missrere1984]

I knew it would be mostly them

[@Dumbunny420]

I too probably go more feral when overreacting that any other time

[@DokkaChapman]

Meredith adding some bull tranquilizer to her "coffee" is such a mood.

[@scrannerz42]

No it's not? She's adding something to her drink, nowhere does it say it's a mood

[@kame8084]

@@scrannerz42 what

[@CoCo1989]

Somehow I have watched this episode numerous times and managed to miss this joke every single time 😂

[@DokkaChapman]

@@scrannerz42 I see someone's never been stuck doing overtime on a Tuesday evening.

[@rapzyz]

@@DokkaChapman its because it is not a mood.

[@JesusChristMarie]

“It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than a stranger on purpose” The satire of Dwight is amazing. There are so many lines from him that stab right at the heart of so many things. “Oscar went to his grandmothers funeral in Mexico when he was five. What does this mean to a US law enforcement officer? He’s a potential drug mule.” “Better to lock up 1,000 innocent men than to let one guilty man go free”

[@brandywinebridget]

God, I can walk 20 miles in any direction and find at least a few guys that would say more or less those exact lines with a straight face

[@pokaay3163]

@@brandywinebridget and that’s insane

[@Alxnick]

@@brandywinebridget The first one has a grim logic to it. I'd rather be accidentally hit by a 2x4 helping my brother with a renovation than some weirdo clubbing me from behind so he can rob me.

[@ExtremeSquared]

​@@brandywinebridget If you live in an urban area, you could probably walk 1 mile in any direction and find a thousand people that would be on board with the last one.

[@brandywinebridget]

@@ExtremeSquared well, yeah - given the population density of urban areas, you could walk a mile in any direction and find a lot of people expressing just about any opinion lol Big cities are pretty diverse places.

[@sampurnabanerjee7565]

I'm surprised creed had so little screen time in this video

[@misabelrodriguez1163]

I think they are only showing the clips that actually shows the crime being done, Creed's more interesting and probably funny crimes are often done off-screen unfortunately

[@pepperroni6252]

Wdym Creed would never commit a crime

[@heathholmes7075]

Creed commits crimes off camera

[@jonathancampbell5231]

@@pepperroni6252 William Charles Schneider on the other hand...

[@jessmagoa]

Same hahaha

[@IntensePeppers]

"Phyllis, you're a married woman" always kills me

[@iloveass8851]

The delivery is 10/10

[@JB-pz6bm]

same!! i came here to say that 😂 7:30

[@cammybear-x]

fr 😭

[@Z4G.]

Angelas character is always on point, she plays her character perfectly.

[@ivankinakin7231]

“The real crime I think…was the beard.” Best line in the video 😂😂😂

[@MrShreyz]

"The gun is just an accessory for the holster" -Dwight Schrute

[@reeceytaylor]

Imagine not including Creed's Halloween murder or the wild west one where he drives off

[@ana21cg]

or when he steals blood from the drive

[@eliasswift2921]

a *lot* of creed scenes were left out of this video i'm greatly disappointed

[@reeceytaylor]

@@eliasswift2921 I think the video would be 20 minutes long

[@jesse5658]

I just wish he'd had more scenes in the show!! He was freaking hilarious

[@reeceytaylor]

@@jesse5658 Nah. He's the kind of character you don't overuse. Give them standout moments every so often but not all the time because then it won't be special

[@kanaadpathak]

Somehow I still fail to understand how Stanley didn’t die from being impaled when he fell forwards while the tranquilizer was still stuck to the front his body

[@bubbahepp5045]

I think that every time I see that or any other scene like it in movies.

[@user-vt4hd8hb4v]

@@bubbahepp5045 me too lol

[@hollyspence2172]

@GenericName you seriously put a thought I’ve had my mind going crazy for years to rest rn

[@cameronmcallister7606]

@GenericName Yeah for real, these things are meant to be somewhat malleable so that, at worst, you have the needle point left in. Otherwise you'd be at risk of killing the animal you tranquilised.

[@valerie82848]

I just commented about this thank you

[@sleepyone05]

That bad weed hemp joke is gold

[@JohnSmith-gj6md]

"What did you just call him?!" "A loser!" "What did you say?!" "A loser" "What?!" "A loser!" "What was that word?!" "A loser!"

[@Missrere1984]

"Stop making him say it!!"

[@joelee624]

Lol 😂

[@toxico1152]

So in the finale, the office workers all got to see this “documentary”. That means they all would’ve seen Creeds comments. I think we needed more of a reaction from that

[@jyphoric999]

thisss i wanted more reactions from them in the finale 😭😭😂

[@theveryworstluck1894]

"Today, smoking is gonna save lives." Might be my favorite line ever written in anything

[@Ismael-kc3ry]

Iconic.

[@nash6202]

He has 420 likes NOBODY TOUCH THE LIKE BUTTON

[@namelesscreature8843]

Top 10 sentences said before disaster

[@MrNomadd]

8:03 the only weapon he has to put his mouth to, he keeps inside of a toilet

[@haoguo2056]

A toilet tank containing tap water.

[@GrahamChapman]

I was the victim of identity theft and impersonation a few years ago... The police found the perp eating cheetos and crying in bed while some sappy nerdcore music was playing on his laptop... Have to admit I was impressed, dude really went for it.

[@MLBlue30]

Very nice self depreciation.

[@promofe16]

It always kills me when the pizza delivery boy calls Michael a loser and Dwight’s keep it going like “what did you just call him? What? What did you say?!” Lmaooo

[@alliepettaway]

I love how Dwight hides the blowdart, the only weapon that you need to use your mouth for, in the toilet lol

[@eternalsmiley9181]

His blowodart doesn't need a mouth. At the beginning he is pressuring it with air.

[@Jhood05SCP]

​@@eternalsmiley9181Later in the vid it shows a blowgun in the back of the toilet

[@Bahr-im7pn]

@@eternalsmiley9181 8:04

[@anthonywozniak7373]

I mean.. it's the toilet tank. You could drink that water.

[@Bahr-im7pn]

@@anthonywozniak7373 The operative word is "toilet."

[@PamIAmChronicles]

"Can you just let me out of here before whatever comes next?' lmfao

[@JBM425]

It shows that Clark/Dwight Jr. has been there long enough to understand how Dwight rolls.

[@tiredman99]

Poor Clark lmao 🤣

[@Lexsaysss]

Love this but you need to do a part 2 where Jim and Dwight casually embezzling from the company is included lmao

[@M_SC]

When?

[@Lexsaysss]

@@M_SC can’t remember the season off the top of my head (maybe 6 or 7?) but it’s when Jo is still around and Sabre’s put a cap on the amount of money salespeople can make for the year, so Jim and Dwight create a fake employee who gets all of the extra money from their sales 💀

[@Drakonix115]

@@Lexsaysss I remember seeing this and thinking “hold up, isn’t that a felony?” And then just acting like it’s fine

[@Lexsaysss]

@@Drakonix115 same lol

[@digitalhistory8526]

@@Lexsaysss Season 8 Episode 23: Turf War (just thought I'd put it up for anyone curious)

[@nachyomoney3598]

Everytime Merideth rolls onto the windshield kills me!🤣🤣

[@AndromedaMoon888]

thankfully it didn't kill her!

[@straight.outta.humantraffi3504]

"its better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than a stranger on purpose." - Dwight - my hero

[@moonscar119]

Am I the only person that cringes when people fall onto things impaled in them? The thought of Stanly having three tranqs bury into his body sends shivers down my spine

[@katiereads45]

Same, I had a physical reaction

[@_kainzow9365]

This just tells me you don't understand how tranquilizer darts work.

[@moonscar119]

@@_kainzow9365 I'm well aware how they work... however they work slow and a person would be able to pull them out before being overcome by the drugs. They are still hypodermic stuck in you

[@_kainzow9365]

@@moonscar119 yes that are specifically made to break off if fallen on.

[@nomo9344]

Am I the only person who cringes when people think this show is actually funny?

[@ethanporto1745]

I’d like to think Michael just took a drag off a cigarette and assumed it was a joint because the lip ring 😂😂😂

[@francismonachino9392]

7:20 Dwight as usual prepared to kill for the office.

[@TheBehm08]

Say what you will about Dwight and his ridiculousness. He will kill for the office and he’s loyal af

[@ethanporto1745]

“He’s that kid that sneaks on my farm and steals my hemp” “Yea I know that guy, he’s the farmer that grows really crappy weed” 😂😂😂😂 I work in the weed industry and this made me laugh way too hard 😂😂😂

[@DharamShasak]

What a hemp?

[@carlost856]

@@DharamShasak canabis with about none of the THC chemical that make you high. It's farmed for it's fibers.

[@anothergenericgamer_]

Ryan is the only one held accountable for his actions “police” wise 😂

[@CelloMaster2000]

Accountable*

[@anothergenericgamer_]

@@CelloMaster2000 Yikes! I must have screwed up the spelling so bad for auto correct to come up with what listed hahaha thanks

[@toptenguy1]

Except Creed in the very last episode. lol

[@youssef_arafat]

Even though I saw this show more times than I care to remember, Creed never fails to make me laugh out loud when he says, "if that's flashing, then lock me up" with that look of boredom on his face. 😂

[@daniellewis2133]

I love how Dwight knows how to do such a variety of tasks.

[@chalwe4086]

I straight up lost it when Oscar with a straight face said, "the real crime I think... was the beard" 😂😂😂😂omg

[@the_sockdolager]

Basically all I use KZbin for now is The Office, Parks and Rec, Superstore, and B99 so this channel really helps with that, and it's much appreciated.

[@williamalton5519]

I wanna point something crazy out about the tranquilizer bit. There is so much to unpack in just that one scene, but as a medic, I wanna unpack the implications of what Dwight did. The drug he used appears to be etorphine based on the vial. Etorphine is a synthetic opioid similar to morphine, except about 8k-15k time more potent than morphine. It’s not used on bulls: it’s used on rhinos and elephants and animals of that size. A dose of 5 mg is often sufficient to fully sedate a grown African Elephant. The average blowdart has enough space for 3 mL of fluid, so if he used a standard vial, which has 2.25 mg per mL. That’s 6.75 mg of etorphine, which is almost 1.5 times (1.35 to be exact) of the dose of etorphine for a ELEPHANT. He hit him with THREE DARTS. That’s 20.25 mg of etorphine. That is wild. Also, for context, the LD50, or the dose that kills 50% of those exposed, in humans for etorphine is 30 MICROgrams. Stanley got 20,250 micrograms. That is 675 times the LETHAL dose of etorphine. Anyone who can get access to etorphine should know this (my guess is Dwight got access through his farm somehow). That means Dwight knows this would be virtually guaranteed to kill Stanley. That’s 1st degree murder at worst, and voluntary manslaughter at best. Not to mention the possessive of an illegal substance (etorphine is Schedule 1 in the US, same as heroin), or misuse of a controlled substance if he has the Schedule 2 version. Also owning a blowgun is a misdemeanor in PA, but that’s the least of his issues. Not to mention the additional kidnapping and battery (from yeeting him down the stairs) charges. That whole situation might the the worst act committed on the show. Also I’m convinced Meredith isn’t human considering she added it to her coffee and lived.

[@awehellnah]

”coffee” knowing merideth it’s prolly straight smirnoff which definitely won’t go well w any opiate

[@gudduentertains]

I believe Stanley has more body fat than three grown adult African Elephants. 😂

[@mace8873]

Yes, but Stanley is a big boy, and he _really_ didn't want to go.

[@ComedyBites]

shout out to one of our viewers, music lover, who came up with the idea for this video!

[@EvilSnips]

I was waiting on this one too! thanks to whoever runs this channel for listening to the viewers!

[@joebenzz]

Is he called "Music Lover" or are you referring to him as a music lover?

[@liammmmmmmmmmm]

thabks music lober

[@liammmmmmmmmmm]

@@EvilSnips no problem

[@TheRedDeadRanger]

"No need to be alarmed this is just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker." -Dwight Schrute

[@clautoca]

the lack of creed moments here is criminal

[@Lanesra62905]

That's why it's on the list

[@ThePercyJacksonDude]

It’s funny how often they tell the camera crew about crimes they’ve committed as if this documentary will never air and no one will ever find out.

[@darkpaw1522]

9:42 I always felt bad that Dwight had betrayed his morals for Michael. He looks so defeated.

[@ohmygoshitscole]

Anyone ever wonder what happened to those darts after Stanley fell onto them?

[@brycekeeter3611]

I felt alone in obsessing over which way he fell.

[@analea6531]

That thought never left my mind

[@gardenlover9663]

I thought about it, and I winced. Yeoooouch!

[@dizsun7428]

It goes into his system

[@theboy1625]

I think that every time someone falls forward with darts in them

[@billgateskilledmyuncle23]

Meredith squeezing tranquilizer juice into her coffee after watching it knock Stanley out is underrated.

[@gnomecaveira1490]

Lol, can we just talk about how Meredith just casually puts the tranquilizer in her coffee? 🤦🏼‍♂️💀💀

[@danv2888]

There already is a comment about that. Go join that argument.

[@saiyajinbeard]

I love how they made the pizza kid look similar to Ryan and that seems to be what upset Michael the most after not getting his discount. Another kid who was telling him what the rules are despite whatever Michael thought and that’s what made him put the pizza kid in timeout lol

[@wrenmason7173]

I like how Creed says “that I swiped from the sheriff’s station”.

[@salty_marshmall0w938]

just so casually

[@EmmaVictory]

the one time dwight said "i shot a werewolf, but when i got back to it, it had already transformed into my neighbors dog"

[@secret7jhkjhjkhkjh747]

I love it when it isnt canned laughter. Even when its a studio audience, they overlay it with fake laughter like friends. I like it, when it up to you to find something funny

[@Supergenism]

michael’s delayed exhale after he hits meredith always cracks me up 🤣 01:46

[@loadingusername3348]

Nah, Micheal kidnapping the pizza boy was crazy. Even crazier that the whole office proceeded with the party

[@danielh7365]

They could just fit in 10 minutes of crime with creed alone😭

[@kristinberdis2827]

“I think you’re under thinking it.”

[@TheOnlySolipsist]

“If that’s flashing, lock me up.” 😂

[@terrifryday3641]

07:30 Phyllis you're a married woman 😭😭😭

[@mcpete912]

6:25 Great Uncle HONK 😂😂😂

[@brunodemarzio]

Michael: “What’s the most inspiring thing I’ve ever said to you?” Dwight: “‘Don’t be an idiot.’ Changed my life.” Also Dwight: does the most idiotic things ever 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@redacted2275]

Ese es el chiste, genio.

[@eepyknight]

So true. I love it sm 😭

[@nicolehuff8455]

0:11 So for five years, Dwight was holding himself back? Good God!😂😂😂

[@explainous]

1:00 Is it me ? Or everyone feels uncomfortable when Stanley falls face first with those darts in his belly?

[@Qi2X2E]

yeah i feel you

[@imcrazyimcrazyimcrazy]

I feel u

[@razorwolf2758]

At least he wasn’t shot in the nuts

[@IsntPhoenix]

ERAUGH NOOO

[@esmelamson]

Angela getting kidnapped for Dwight during her bachelorette party needed to be in this

[@firingallcylinders2949]

Am I the only one who sees the Stanley tranquilizer scene and cringes at the thought of Stanley falling with the needles pointed out?

[@DokkaChapman]

yup, every time.

[@Losdiariosdemel]

I thought I was the only one

[@ntsebengkgoase749]

Right!

[@sampurnabanerjee7565]

Yes thank you!!

[@yumikotanashi]

Yes thank you

[@thegarbagegamer6925]

“Just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker” Safety 100

[@truthhurts3524]

I just noticed Ryan jumped behind Kelly when Dwight’s gun went off. 😂

[@karajohnson572]

“This dosage was meant for a very small bull and Stanley’s got way more body fat than they do.” “But you gave him 3 shots?” “Shh!” 😂

[@nognog4474]

“The guy was just hanging brain I mean what’s all the fuss?” 😂

[@sawdust4630]

2:25 whoever made those pizza boxes fucked up every single one

[@slamfire6005]

“If that’s flashing then lock me up” lol

[@Brother8237]

6:48 Kevin has his priorities straight

[@AsiaDanceScene]

4:12 Jim saying an entire sentence worth of information in a single yes.

[@as3957]

In the episode with the pizza boy, I like the scene where Michael realizes that he kidnapped him.

[@real_john_doe]

“It’s about to get all stupid up in here!” is a personal favorite

[@jerrysheni9971]

"Why do you have to keep wearing those booby shirts all the time?" "Thank you!"

[@SeniorTurner]

“If that’s flashing then lock me up” hahahaha

[@santiagoespineirasader4369]

"Phyllis, You are a Married Woman" I'm crying hahahahaha

[@PatrickHemmes]

i love how the quallity is like its filmed on a phone, it really shows that you dont need high end equipment to make a good show

[@vigilant_1934]

They used proper cameras. I think it's that these days phone cameras have gotten so much better which is why you feel like this. Phone cameras back when this show came out were not this good lol.

[@PatrickHemmes]

@@vigilant_1934 yeah didnt take that in accouht, but still if you want to make a good show today, you really dont even need good cameras. maybe it is youtube compression, but i feel like alot of 2005 ish shows have better quallity then the office. but maybe I am wrong.

[@QuixoticCowboy]

Respect to Dwight for somehow firing a single action rev9lver by just pulling the trigger

[@foxtwo1584]

And firing three darts in quick succession from a single shot tranq gun

[@brutongaster8184]

The hammer was back

[@taninmoores4943]

​@@foxtwo1584 he pulled out a tranq pistol

[@soaktinbleech1106]

"Today, Smoking is gonna save lives" is probably one of Dwight's rare badass moments

[@fernandaabreu5625]

Rare?

[@soaktinbleech1106]

@@fernandaabreu5625 eh true he has some common badass moments

[@EATSLEEPDRIVE2002]

0:35 “Can you just let me out of here, before whatever comes next?”

[@gregoryshepherd9261]

Let’s be honest at 00:51 Dwight was trying to kill Stanley that day haha 😂

[@hectordavidortiz]

Creed not shying away from his Fake ID clients 😂

[@asmikannan1249]

I love how most of these crimes specifically include Dwight who is a sheriff ironically 😂😂

[@ericdavion9693]

Pretty sure that door at 4:52 opens the other way, which would make those wedges useless. Kinda like in the Big Lebowski when the Dude propped the chair against his door which opened outward. Actually those wedges look too short anyway; the one he hammers in is pretty much flush with the door.

[@Kingsley_Shat]

Yes! Dwight should have known better

[@anumzehra6315]

3:40 baby Jim

[@howardreid]

Why am I just noticing that Ryan jumped behind Kelly when the gun was shot LOOOL

[@DaLink25]

“IT’S ABOUT TO GET ALL STUPID UP IN HERE!” Killed me😂

[@Matticus289]

5:13 - you just watched someone watch youtube on youtube

[@henryblaylock2946]

Imagine being the pizza guy irl

[@9sheri9]

Loved it! Man, I miss this show! Oh yeah, here are some honorable mentions that look like they didn't make the cut: •the time Creed framed a lady for his quality control printing mishap, took up a donation for her when she was fired for it & then pocketed the money •the time Creed started selling off the office PCs and equipment when they thought Scranton was closing •Roy & his brother destroying the bar •Roy's assault on Jim •Meredith sleeping with a vendor for free food •Michael calling the cops on Toby & trying to frame him for weed w/the caprese salad •also Michael trying to buy weed from the warehousers •Didn't Dwight & Ryan egg a potential customers building? Good times ✌️🤣

[@championlunatic835]

I love how dwight had two traquilisers in his mini pistor ready for short range, apart from the rifle he brought at first

[@valescarlett21]

2:00 i will never understand why NO ONE thought to just call the pizza place?? 😭😭

[@danielirl9252]

Dwight killing Angela's cat. Usually I would never forgive a character for something like... yet Dwight is still by far the best character on the show!

[@AuroraNora3]

5:43 I love Oscar's confused reaction

[@el-magnifico4423]

Dwight: He’s one of the kid that steals my hemp Delivery Boy: I know that farmer, he grows crappy weed

[@bmjake]

This whole video could be a Creed compilation

[@SeArCh4DrEaMz]

-"but you gave him 3 shots!!!' -"psssssshhhh" lmao xd

[@abhijeetduttPandey]

Loved how video started with Ryan.

[@Al-ok1lj]

What about Michael framing Toby with the Caprese salad? Or Toby and Dwight’s hit and run when they smashed up Darryl’s trash cans? Or Angela’s hit on Oscar? Or stealing the copier by Michael Dwight, and Jim? Hmm. What else?

[@NoodleWobble]

Out of all the weapons, Dwight chose to put the only weapon that touches the mouth in the WC.

[@XxAizenxX187]

lmfao Ryan used kelly as a shield at 7:05 xD

[@atharvagangshettiwar8920]

The office characters who committed crime: 1. Michael - Hits Meredith with her car 2. Dwight - Attacked Stanley with a dart and many more crimes 3. Jim - Identity theft is not a joke 4. Andy - Took a dump on Wallace's car(biohazard) and almost ran over Dwight with his car. 5. Ryan - Corporate Fraud, also gave an allergic reaction to a baby to run away with Kelly. Also he started the fire. 6. Toby - Lies in The Banker episode, also sexually assaulted Darryl's sister 7. Robert California - Flashed entire staff in the pool party episode 8. Gabe - Flashed entire staff in the pool party episode 9. Meredith - Flashed Michael and many other characters 10. Creed - Creed being Creed 11. Todd Packer - Drugged the entire office in season 9 12. Roy - Drunk driving and attacked Jim. 13. Frank - Attacked Pam 14. Kelly - Stole her boyfriend's boat when she was young 15. Angela - Hired a henchman to break Oscar's knees 16. Mose - Kidnapped Angela before her wedding 17. Pam - Created a fake salesman named "Lloyd Gross" to get extra commision cap from Sabre along with Jim, Dwight, Stanley and Phyllis 18. Stanley - Commission cap thing. 19. Phyllis - Commission cap thing. And.... The documentary crew - Filmed characters without their permission at times and didn't alert the victim when a crime was about to be committed.

[@vishalwhite]

you guys left out Michael and dwight calling the cops on Toby by planting drugs (so called😂) in his desk

[@Missrere1984]

Can't believe they didn't include the Caprese salad segment

[@catecoleman9852]

Missed opportunity to not end with Creed being led away in handcuffs!

[@heavy_peace8872]

The look on Meredith's face as she rolls off Michael's car😆

[@AnMaPa]

Oscar's face at 5:52 gets me every time