the "perfect" wedding dress is a myth

[@gremlita]

As I said in the video - I deleted the original upload of this video, because a kind friend messaged me to let me know that something I had said in the intro was factually untrue. And because it was still early, I thought it would be okay to do! When I initially recorded the video, the intro of it was mostly unscripted. (I script all my videos and I have people factchecking the scripts before I start filming.) Usually, I won’t script out an intro because they’re more conversational and I don’t really add in any important info in these segments. But when I started filming, it occurred to me that “June Weddings” are a thing and maybe I should look into why that is because it would make an interesting intro. I quickly Google searched and then read the myths out from this website: one myth in particular that I read was that “In the Middle Ages, most people bathed once a year so May/June was when they smelled the best.” One of my high school teachers actually told me that too, and since I heard it before, I didn’t properly fact-check it. But the truth is, in the Middle Ages, people actually did bathe a lot! And what’s even more embarrassing is that after I read the message from my friend, I remembered talking about this before: of cleanliness rituals in the medieval period and how a lot of myths about this time were conceived by the Victorians in efforts to make themselves (the Victorians) feel more modern/better than the past. I haven’t yet factchecked the other myths I mentioned (that June weddings were a tradition in Roman times because of the connection between Goddess Juno and fertility/marriage, and that June has a better selection of florals, which became a more popular wedding embellishment during the Victorian era) but just decided to delete the whole section because clearly that source was not credible. If anyone has insight on these two myths, please feel free to leave a comment below. Otherwise, I’ll probably look into it some time in the future and give everyone an update in a Short or something :) Usually, I catch these errors myself as it goes through rounds of video edits before publishing. But I was traveling a lot the past week and rush-jobbed this video. I’m sorry for the confusion y’all! And I’m really sorry to everyone who was in the middle of watching when it cut out!! It drives me insane when people present easy-to-dispel historically inaccurate myths and being a perpetrator for that is mortifying to say the least! Also, in the future if I ever say anything wrong, please email me [e-mail] - It would greatly help me in improving my videos

[@11111ya]

no worries mina!!! thank you for being so receptive to accountability :-)

[@graziana8]

I was surprised while watching when it stopped and said the video was unavailable. But I understand why you deleted! Thanks for always correcting if necessary, I'm sure other people would just ignore and move on, this just shows how good you are at this because you care about the content you're doing and truthful information! Thanks always, I really like your channel 🥰

[@sclumptuous]

I got to watch it the first time around and remember thinking that what you said about bathing sounded like something i'd seen debunked before - i didn't put two and two together when i noticed you had taken the video down! My first thought was that maybe some sort of controversy about wedding dresses had arisen and you decided that now wasn't the time for the video or something?? lol.. That just goes to show you that normally people don't take the care to re-edit a video once they notice something inaccurate - usually when people take videos down it's to do with drama in one way or another, so I (and I'm sure loads of other people here) really appreciate your openness and dedication to accuracy!!

[@Pip-squeak]

June is the best month for flowers, you're right! That and the good weather (in my country) has always been the reason why in my mind. The vast majority of plants bloom in June so it is usually the best month for visiting any gardens :) I'm sure the light evenings must help too.

[@juliaxchung]

I really respect your commitment to factchecking and being open about your mistakes! thank you!!

[@imsosorry0728]

So I’m Indian and literally every guest is wearing the nicest thing you’ve ever seen and yet somehow, nobody can out do the bride

[@moonshinershonor202]

Seems legit. Those Indian brides in their red dressed always steal my heart.

[@CorettaJG]

Love an Indian or African wedding. The colors! The sparkle.

[@Lunella08]

I always loved that! Makes me want to go to an Indian wedding to see all the beautiful outfits.

[@echo4572]

its the same with iranian weddings ehehe

[@shadn]

It’s the same with Arab weddings too :)

[@karissa5066]

i have a friend who made her entire wedding dress out of thrifted lace curtains and tablecloths and beads and it's the most beautiful garment i've ever seen

[@highhigh_]

I love it when someone "thrifts" or "made their own dress". Like I think it's more personal. Also after years by or when you have kids, you have stories like "I made my own dress". I, myself, has been eyeing for a cheap wedding dress online for when I marry in the future.

[@joylox]

I'm making mine with some lace my grandmother used for a friend of the family's wedding dress, and some thin fabric I liked the feel of from a local store. It's a lot of work, but I like how I found a light blue fabric that really makes the white lace pop.

[@karissa5066]

@@joylox that sounds amazing!!! and so special too 🥹

[@emmalineconrad244]

this sounds amazing!! I'm hoping to crochet and sew my dress, or at least part of it, for my wedding in spring. any chance your friend has a picture of her gown somewhere public? I'd love to see it :)

[@princessjello]

A friend of mine did the same! She looked like a lavender fairy it was amazing

[@livtaylor991]

I bought my wedding dress for $200 off of Facebook marketplace. I went to the lady's house and it turned out I knew her. I tried on the dress and modeled it for her and her family. When I went to take it off, I could hear her young son in the living room say "Mommy, is she going to buy that dress?? She looks like a princess" and that was "the moment" for me. Little kids don't lie. If you look ugly, they're gonna say it 😂

[@beepboopbeep5369]

Awww that's such a sweet story I can't!

[@samw6475]

What a beautiful story!

[@angelefarrugia9901]

love this

[@milkhoney6618]

This is so perfect though

[@Calax93]

Good for you you got a cheap dress. People immediately start the how little i paid for this dress competition as if it makes you look better or worse.

[@Eyeball44]

My great grandparents were one of those couples getting married during the war years on a tight budget, but luckily for her, my great grandmother worked for a while in a factory producing parachutes for the war effort, and what were these parachutes made of? White silk! She was given some of the surplus supply/ cut offs, and her and her relatives made it themselves. So my grandmother got to have a beautiful, long, flowing white silk wedding dress during wartime, on a carpenter's budget. Truly a girlboss. Edit: OMG you literally just mentioned this, lmao

[@cbpd89]

My grandparents got married during the war, the wedding wardrobe consisted of a dress uniform and fairly simple white dress with pink roses on it. Not a gown, or even a cocktail dress, just a niceish dress. They were married more than 50 years by the time my grandpa died, so I guess they had everything they needed.

[@DONTcareAnymore000]

@@cbpd89 this is the real essence of wedding/marriage

[@hambone4984]

My grandparents got married near the end of WWII, grandpa wore his army uniform and oma wore her best work outfit (she was a secretary) they went to the courthouse and went back to work. It wasn't until close to the 60s that they threw a big party and even then they just invited friends and family and had a massive cookout in the summer. Growing up those were honestly some of my favorite photos of her because she looked so happy and excited

[@rebbyberard8150]

My grandparents got married in 1947 in a friend's house. My grandma wore an adorable dress with flowy sleeves and my grandpa had to borrow a pair of his brother's shoes for the honeymoon because he didn't have any that worked. They were together for 70 years, until my grandpa passed away at 94 years old.

[@dl2725]

I’m a divorce lawyer, and I’ve done cases where the parties were still in debt for the wedding when they got their divorce. Not super common, but… just wild

[@philosophy_bot4171]

Beep bop... I'm the Philosophy Bot. Here, have a quote: "Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god" ~ Aristotle

[@chunellemariavictoriaespan8752]

​@@philosophy_bot4171Then I'll do my best to be a god... Or whatever higher being I could be...

[@saragreenfire4515]

@@philosophy_bot4171 Can I be both?

[@nivafranco493]

This comment haunts me.

[@DONTcareAnymore000]

yikes

[@fallonb1]

I just got married in a courthouse wearing a $20 sundress, $18 shoes, and the whole day was perfect! No stress, just my husband and I in joy over joining our lives together

[@flamingaish]

congratulations 🧡

[@georgelopez337]

Good for you! IMHO, Weddings have lost meaningful significance instead becoming😮 overpriced and lavish events. Either for one-upping or because they feel it is tradition, the truth is that they are being manipulated by the lucrative wedding industry.

[@UltraViolet666]

This is what i want 😊 and then if anything else just a casual "reception" with close family at home and a night out with our friends!

[@IzzyOnTheMove]

Congratulations! 💜

[@fallonb1]

@UltraViolet666 we've both done the big wedding on our first marriages, and this was such a better way to start off our life together. No arguing, stress, meltdowns, trying to make all of your family happy, financial struggles. The focus was truly on the two of us being happy

[@megancastle5573]

"...until the Victorian era" seems to be one of the most often used phrases in fashion history videos lol. Great job as always, Mina!

[@BabyBat14]

As Foucault once wrote "We, the victorians"

[@hunnitbaehunnitbae8804]

i just want to share something: i've been working as a wedding coordinator for years and just recently, we had an all-white wedding (literally everyone wore white, not just the bride). during her thank you speech, the bride talked about how the wedding wasn't just the union of two people - it was the union of both families. "we're all getting married!" she said. idk, i just thought that was so beautiful.

[@mirandabaggins501]

Love it!! If I ever get married, that’s what I want to do!! It sounds like an absolute show stopper, too!! 😍🤍 That bride sounds wonderfully selfless and like an absolute queen!! The idea of everyone except the bride being forbidden from wearing white never really sat well with me. It always gives me the “dressing above your station” vibes…

[@megarakadmea]

I think that used to be a more common sentiment before we became such an atomized society.

[@flamingaish]

it's a whole thing in my country and ngl, i lowkey hate it

[@margaretannemuria7952]

​@@megarakadmea I think that's still a thing in France from what I've read from somewhere. Weddings are considered a family affair and traditionally both families would even have to meet and mingle before the bride and groom announces to the community that they're getting married.

[@megarakadmea]

@@margaretannemuria7952 Seems logical, especially in small communities. If the couple gets divorced, everyone has to live with them anyway.

[@danisdeepdive]

Fun fact, in African countries people usually have two weddings. A traditional wedding where the bride, groom and guests wear cultural clothing and a white wedding where the bride wears a white Western dresses and everyone is dressed in a more Western standard. The events of the wedding, including the food is based on the wedding e.g. traditional wedding might have more cultural foods while the white wedding usually has more Western food. It’s just an excuse for African people to celebrate.

[@savannahrose7370]

Yeah! This is exactly what I'm doing for my wedding bc my fiance's family is Eritrean. There's 2 wedding days, the western one and the traditional one called Melsi

[@danisdeepdive]

@@savannahrose7370 Congratulations, hope you have a wonderful wedding… or 2 weddings.

[@neji-blm6579]

​@savannahrose7370 in ethiopia its 3 days 😭

[@jazisajoke8688]

Yes! A classic back home in Nigeria.

[@chrysanthemum8233]

We're white Americans & did something similar although not exactly for the same (excellent) reason: when my brother married a Korean lady we had a Korean ceremony in Seoul, which was the official wedding, and also a traditional American style reception/party a few weeks later in California. It was a great way to combine honoring both cultures and also allowing people on both sides to attend without the expense of international travel.

[@Tessq]

I think that part of the allure of wedding dresses nowadays is that it’s finally a chance to get a dress that fits you perfectly. So often we wear things that fit good enough that clothes that actually fit are a luxury!

[@plummmmmmli]

This. It's probably the only time in my life I'm gonna get this level of service. Even putting on the ring it hit me, this is my first time wearing REAL jewelry and not just 'birth stone friendship bracelet from Claire's. The allure is not just the one day, but the whole year of experiencing little luxuries you will never ever ever have an excuse to do again.

[@animeotaku307]

Sounds legit. Even though it was off the rack, the dress I got for my cousin’s wedding was so perfect that I wish I had more chances to wear it. Especially because it’s one of the only dresses/skirts I have that has pockets!

[@anastasia10017]

why ? there are dress makers and tailors where you can go to have your clothes fitted properly.

[@maggienewman870]

Not-so-fun fact about the Jackie Kennedy wedding dress: Ann Lowe, an African-American couturier, was the dress designer and received almost no recognition for her work at the time, and is widely unknown even today, despite the high caliber of her work. The Jackie Kennedy wedding dress was always one of my absolute favorites growing up, but this story really sours that moment for me. I hope someday Ann Lowe receives the recognition she deserves for her contributions to fashion history. 14:36

[@xiwenchen189]

It's a shame that minority women don't receive the recognition they deserve, even for such recognizable achievements. During junior year of art school, I did a design project on cultural erasure and focused part of it on Pamela Coleman Smith, a Jamaican-British illustrator who created all the illustrations for the Rider-Waite tarot card deck, and yet was awfully underpaid and her name did not appear anywhere on the commercial packaging.

[@bbybella9937]

Hm that’s not true. During her time she was known for her work. She was on a tv show during the 60s where she talks about her work and her friendship with Jackie. Also the wedding dresses she made for famous people and other outfits were actually in a MET exhibition before she died and she was heavily involved in that. She got her credit and dues before she died.

[@maggienewman870]

@@bbybella9937 I apologize for mitigating the recognition she did eventually receive for her career accomplishments. I should have done more research before commenting. I just had wanted to mention it sooner rather than later because I thought more people ought to know the designer of the gown since it is not mentioned in this video. It is true, though, that Ann Lowe was not credited at the time of the wedding despite the wedding and dress being covered at the time by national publications like the New York Times, which was likely because of racial discrimination being that Lowe was African-American. Designers of dresses of similar fame, like Helen Rose, were given credit at the time their dresses were first seen by the public, so it’s a shame that the press chose to ignore Ann Lowe’s contribution when they covered the Kennedy wedding.

[@bbybella9937]

@@maggienewman870 Yeah I blame that more on the press. It’s interesting because the journalist who apparently was there from the Washington Post actually said she was never at the event. So it’s a bit muddled. But yeah Ann wasn’t really known during the 50s to the public even when she did high society weddings. However she got her dues and credit in the 60s and for that I’m thankful.

[@taniaelliott4078]

​@maggienewman870 I'm reading up on her now. What do you mean by notoriety though? I can't find anything other than failure to pay taxes that would make her notorious

[@CaiteeBell]

I had my bridesmaids wear white at my wedding. the amount of people that were so upset with me was crazy. It was my wedding I wanted them to wear white! I also wore a family dress. from the 70s without altering it just wearing it as is without updating it. So many of my friends thought That was a terrible idea but ten years later looking back at all the pictures I still love all the choices I've made

[@brachiosnores7829]

I think traditionally (medieval England) bridesmaids used to wear dresses near identical to the bride to, in essence, confuse evil spirits as to which one was the bride so that they couldn't harm her. If anything, it sounds like you had a much more traditional wedding!

[@sk8085-b]

I can't imagine why ppl should get upset over YOUR choice of dresses at YOUR own wedding🙄 They need to get a life and have some respect for the bride

[@UltraViolet666]

Wow imagine wedding guests thinking that a wedding should please them instead of the bride and groom! The nerve.... that sounds awesome! Glad you did it 😊

[@krishnavyas313]

In most royal wedding, bridesmaid wear white dress. Queen Elizabeth ii's bridesmaid wore white dress, Diana's bridesmaids also wore white white dress and Catherine's bridesmaid also wore white dress.

[@a.j.4644]

Bridesmaids in (simpler, plainer, less voluminous) white help them blend in with the bride and into the background rather than stand in contrast.

[@blujaebird]

The cheapest venue I could find was $4k. That was before everything else: furniture, food, decorations, etc. I wanted $5k to be the total budget... So I'm getting married at my sister's house lol

[@arex9000]

I found 2k for a ballroom and that was only because they lost business from the pandemic

[@featheredskyblue]

I had mine in the local park. $250 to rent the newly-built, fully window-enclosed pavilion. After browsing venues that started at $5K that only had one option for catering and often had limited restroom availability, it was a RELIEF to opt for a smaller wedding and a very reasonable venue.

[@Shadeadder]

Dude I *feel* you. We had a church wedding, but the parish hall was really small so we looked at other venues for the reception. Everything was way too big for what we needed and/or required an "all inclusive" package of stuff we didn't want (full bar, multi-course dinner, 10 hours, etc) for a premium price, some with 10k minimums. We ended up just reducing our guest list to 70 people so we could use the parish hall after all, since it only cost us $500 and we could bring our own catering and alcohol.

[@hopejohnson6347]

We literally celebrated with a barbeque in our own garden... and I didn't buy a wedding dress at all, I pulled a gothy white mermaid skirt with a laced up back, a white chiffon blouse and a white peplum style blazer out of my closet - all items that I had been wearing in different combinations before. I didn't have white shoes, so I chose nude kitten heels that I already owned as well. Total cost for the party: about 300€ in meats and side dishes.

[@katherinek2709]

Why we got married in a barn. I carried the toads out myself 😂

[@rachelfoote9515]

I've been joking with one of my friends that when she gets engaged we should do the whole boutique dress shopping experience but instead of buying anything, we take notes so that I can design and make a dress for her. We're both cosplayers and I did costume design in college, so even if we come up with something less "fashionable," it would be much more true to her than anything the Wedding Industrial Complex would give us.

[@cocoXmarshmallows]

My fiancé and I are cosplayers, and we did this! My dress is sage green and gold, and I love how personalized it is. Plus, it’s extra special because we made it together. It was really difficult, but it’s so personal and special to me. I now can’t imagine wearing anything else.

[@priscilaesteva6635]

I got married at 19 so we had a tiny budget. My dress was 60 dollars. I thrifted it and got it altered. I was able to change a few things here and there, we even added a brand new neckline. My dress was unbelievable! I borrowed a gorgeous cathedral veil from my sister in law and I couldn’t have been happier. My mom bought me pearl earrings and I wore the same necklace my grandma wore to her wedding. I felt so beautiful and did not dent the bank!!!!

[@nabilaali7051]

Sounds really nice, definitely don’t break the bank if you can’t afford to, if you have money and the means I say go for it

[@cinemaocd1752]

I was recently in my local thrift store and a bunch of high school girls just started putting on all the wedding dresses in the store and it made me realize two things: 1) THere were absolutely amazing vintage dresses there, a gorgeous silk one from the 1940s, so not all just polyester disasters from the 70s and 80s... 2) Putting on wedding dresses is so fun and you don't need the excuse of a wedding to do it.

[@earthaforester3141]

A group of people I know had an annual tradition of wearing formal wear at the beach and jumping off the pier. So one year I bought a wedding dress at the thrift store for the event, and I rode on the back of my friend's motorcycle on the way there, and some of the other cars honked at us cuz they thought we had just gotten married. I don't think I've ever felt cooler than in that moment - riding a motorcycle in a wedding dress.

[@karenholmes6565]

I wore my mom's Princess Grace inspired lace top dress with crinoline, buttons up the back, long sleeves with a vee shape on the hands. It was ivory from age by the time I wore it, it had a netting skirt. It was a beautiful dress. It fit me even better than it had fit her. It was a little too big on her. I didn't have to spend a dime on it. I was married at the Monterey Beach Hotel in the late 80s right on the beach, I only had a week to plan for it. The wedding was far better than the actual marriage...lol

[@margaretteragram9235]

Some years ago two good friends married each other and I gifted the bride a cream silk dress that I drafted, sewed/smocked/embroidered by hand with golden insects and filigree. I’m not interested in making bridal dresses as a career, but I loved the idea of making a garment so labour intensive and precious that they could never afford to buy, and just giving it for the sake of making their ceremony as special as possible. It’s incredibly satisfying to this day to look back at the photos, it was a good showing of my skills and I couldn’t afford much of a gift but I could make them something really beautiful and I’m glad I did it.

[@Hippidippimahm]

That is so kind and unbelievably generous. She got to get married in the one couture masterpiece you ever made❤

[@FlowerPower1000]

Amazing gesture!

[@aleksandraschulz4057]

i'm tearing up! it's such a precious gift!!

[@sophiaw2195]

that sounds so beautiful! I wish youtube let people insert pictures because I'd love to see it!

[@allielabr]

My guilty pleasure is binging Four Weddings on TLC. It really documents the wedding industrial complex of the 2010s in such a horrifyingly mesmerizing way

[@Linetlm3]

The french version is even worst. The drama, the side eyes, the bitching and the classism from certain brides has been a inexhaustible well of memes for the Internet.

[@haleymist09]

That show was soooooooo binge-able!

[@CordeliaWagner]

You support disgusting antihuman content. Says a lot about your character.

[@NeoNovastar]

That show was SUCH a disaster lmao, they always had the worst mean girl each episode. So goofy! God I'm glad it exists tho, just to show how insane it all is.

[@Funeral_Mannequin]

TLC is like a plane crash you can’t look away from, it’s great.

[@chaiguy2930]

I had the absolute honor of putting together an original wedding dress from 1907 for a museum exhibit yesterday- (in fact the museum itself was once the bride’s home and still stands with the original furniture inside) Her dress is an elegant 2-piece silk gown with a bodice and skirt, and the bride wore a delicate lace shawl that her older sister wore in her wedding years prior. It was very special to me getting to display such a priceless treasure.

[@sararatliff7707]

That sounds beautiful. Is there a web site for the museum that has photos?

[@thatonedog819]

I read "honor" as "horror" and was very very confused

[@wangofree]

Coming back to tell about my wedding again...I was flat broke and neither of us wanted to go into debt for a wedding. I sewed my dress and my two bridesmaids' dresses for less than $300 total. My husband and his best man wore suits they already owned. My flowers came from Hobby Lobby, my sister made the wedding cake, a friend took photos as a gift. We had the ceremony at our church and the reception at the local community center for, as I remember, about $100 for the room rental. Friends brought finger foods and we supplied punch and coffee...it was an afternoon wedding so no need for a full meal. That was 28 years ago. We're still very happily married and I wouldn't change a thing about the day!

[@Shadeadder]

That sounds a lot like my wedding!! Sewed my two bridesmaid's dresses, only one groomsman needed a new suit (my husband got a nice new one as an investment). My mom and I bulk ordered flowers and did the arrangements ourselves. Sister made my cake (and I made hers). A college friend who was a hobby photographer took our photos at a steep discount. I did my own make-up, my SIL did my hair. The ceremony was at our church, and the reception was in the parish hall. We had local Polish catering. For alcohol, we just bought a bunch of wine and beer at Costco and put it on the tables for people to help themselves. Husband and I are swing dancers so we taught a lesson for the evening's entertainment. Been two years and I'm still very happy with it!

[@zurzakne-etra7069]

i love this!! This is a dream wedding! Also, it's more authentic to how people had weddings before weddings became so capitalized

[@wangofree]

@@zurzakne-etra7069 Yes, people forget that the wedding isn't the important thing; the marriage is.

[@Dragonshade64]

Kudous to you for making the dress. I'd be more comfortable with making the flowers and maybe the veil. Big sewing projects like dresses make me nervous even before the high stakes of an event like a wedding get added on.

[@wangofree]

@@Dragonshade64 Well, I'd sewn professionally for years and made several other wedding dresses, so mine wasn't that much of a stress. Plus it wasn't a tradtional "wedding gown". Just a simple ankle-length dress with a square neck, elbow sleeves and slimmish gathered skirt, using Folkwear Patterns Garden Party pattern. It was lace over silk, and I wore a hat a friend had given me trimmed with silk roses. I still have the dress even though it no longer fits me :)

[@justwonder1404]

Weddings have always been such a weird subject to me, but the most buffling fact is that a bride buys probably one of the most expensive items of clothes in her life to wear it just once. Like, I understand the appeal, it's just strange when you think of it.

[@rachelcookie321]

I would totally love to wear a big fancy dress multiple times but I have nowhere to wear it. I don’t go to balls or anything. That’s part of the reason I want to spend more on my wedding dress because I’ll never have the opportunities to wear such a fancy dress ever again. I want to wear a big princess dress but my wedding is the only event in my whole life where that would be appropriate. I would totally wear it just doing regular stuff as well but wedding dresses are hard to clean so I don’t want to do anything where it could get dirty. We should totally do balls again. I want to go to a ball, why did we stop doing them? Or is just that we do still do them but i’m not fancy enough to get invited? That’s probably it. We regular people should do our own balls.

[@ceramoran5560]

​@@rachelcookie321you can wear it on Halloween, festivals, tea parties!

[@rachelcookie321]

@@ceramoran5560 I don’t go to any festivals or tea parties.

[@justwonder1404]

@@rachelcookie321 I totally get the desire to wear that fairytale-ish dress at least once. Maybe it's possible to change a dress for other purposes after the wedding, but 1) I imagine a fancy dress costs as much to re-do as it would to buy a new one 2) than it wouldn't be so fayrytale-ish. What I'm saying is, yes, we must normalise wearing fancy dresses at a daily basis.

[@Sam_dea]

I got married in august and my dress is the most expensive I’ve ever owned but not too outrageous in the realm of wedding dresses. It was about $500. I’m torn between saving my dress to have it altered and made into more of a cocktail dress, even considering dyeing it a different color so it could be worn again more easily. OR just selling it so it can be worn by another bride. I really like the idea of either but I just don’t want it to sit in a bag in my closet lol

[@Bruh-qy1zq]

as a desi i won't have this problem, but I hope every woman who does get married finds a beautiful dress that she loves

[@Mathias1038]

As a wedding suit designer, I have this idea of everything needing to be perfect for the bride bleed on the entirety of the wedding preparations. Most of the grooms I meet seem to have given up on what they wanted for their special event just because it didn’t fit the bride’s vision of her wedding. When I end up designing a suit with the whole couple (which I find weird because you never see a groom help his wife shop for her wedding dress), the bride ends up designing the whole suit, and the groom simply saying "whatever makes you happy". This usually ends up with a boring suit that lacks personality and glamour. Grooms now don’t dress especially but only properly for the event, most of them having given up on their looks. And as a expert, I can testify that there are so many ways of making a wedding suit your own and showing personality and glam whilst also respecting the theme. Wedding should not be "the bride’s wedding" but "the couple’s wedding"!

[@naomibialek]

THIS!!! 👏💯 My husband had a vision for the type and colour of suit he wanted (AKA his "dream suit") and I am so glad we spent the time and money to have it made for him. It really shows in the photos/videos of our wedding day just how handsome and comfortable he felt in it. The combination of both of us wearing outfits that we had always dreamed of felt so special! 💖 imo if a bride/groom is acting like the day is all about themselves, then they probably shouldn't be getting married... 🤭 It is literally a day to celebrate your partnership/love and dedication to each other!

[@asterismos5451]

they can be a brides' wedding for the wlw

[@nadias6435]

That's because most men have no sense of style, especially north american men

[@IngenuousSoprano]

This. The idea of this was so ingrained in my husband that it took months of my asking him what he actually liked and wanted before he realized he wasn't going to get suckerpunched and that he could wear what he wanted. He didn't want to know anything about my outfit until the day, so would ask if certain things would clash. We already had the general vibe decided on, and I really just back the options he chose that suited his coloring best.

[@BriarMB13]

I think Shane Madej had a wonderful wedding suit that reflected his personal style, had a tribute to his wife on it, and stayed on theme. The couples that TRULY act as a team, and devote their joint effort into having Their wedding, end up staying together forever. It's always so sad to see a groom or a bride steamrolled by their partner or families.

[@lucymay446]

With the amount of over consumption we have today we really need to bring back the mindset of the war of make do and mend. The story of that lady making her dress out of her husbands parachute and even then going on to make more things with after is so amazing.

[@xiwenchen189]

I hope that more people rebel against the wear it once bland white wedding dress. In my family, the last 5 brides could've shared the same boring strapless poofy dress, zero style or individuality there. I learned from my Indian friends that the bridal lehenga is designed to be later altered and refashioned to enjoy again at other formal events. Those gowns can be 12-15k at the mid range, but its all due to the rich colorful fabrics that are hand beaded and embroidered. Sounds like a better investment than a western white gown that cannot be worn anywhere else.

[@annasolovyeva1013]

I would pick a dress that I would be able to rewear later. Probably not even white.

[@rina-xs7sz]

This, plus it’s just cool and the biggest flex

[@annierminx]

I would never shut up if my dress was something I made out of a parachute ngl

[@annasolovyeva1013]

@@annierminx parachutes were natural silk back then, extra strong, durable, thick and flowy like water..

[@SamAnthem2]

I tried on over 70 white dresses for my wedding this year, some of them were "nos", some were "meh", some were almost right...but none of them really hit me as "the one." Finally I tried on a two peice gold sequin dress from the non-wedding side of the store I was in and was more excited for it than any white dress I tried! It was also about $750, which was way cheaper than any of the white dresses I only kind of liked. I just kept waiting for that "wow" moment and white just didnt do it for me.

[@mwv1217]

I feel like relationships as a whole have been rooted in fantasy and we have such expectation built up that we want to live up to. The perfect partner, the perfect wedding, the perfect house, the perfect life.

[@angelashinner]

I mean, can you blame people for wanting a perfect life?

[@MayCorn]

@@angelashinner the problem is that it's unrealistic and becuase of that expectation people can't settle for less than perfection which really decreases happiness and satisfaction with an imperfect reality.

[@angelashinner]

@@MayCorn I mean perfection is subjective in my opinion cause it depends on people’s standards. But we’ve always wanted the bests for ourselves and that’s what drives people to put in more effort to achieve better things. If it wasn’t for the desire for perfection a lot of inventions wouldn’t have existed and we would’ve just settled for what we had. Edited to fix a misused word.

[@whosaidthat4299]

There would be less divorce if everyone would appreciate the fantasy BUT accept reality.

[@crownjewel9602]

⁠@@angelashinnerif perfection is based on ppl’s individual standards then that’s not objective. That’s peak subjectivity. I do wonder if ppl would work to achieve better things if we weren’t conditioned to seek perfection but rather progress from the get-go. Now that I’m older, I personally feel more willing to try & work to improve things knowing that I can strive for progress vs perfection, where not being immediately good or perfect at something immediately discouraged & paralyzed me.

[@Smile-ni9nc]

I was never thinking or dreaming about my future wedding much as a child and after I have seen close friends plan weddings, in some cases for years, having a big wedding is my nightmare. A trip to the courthouse with a nice dinner afterwards with close family and friends is def my "perfect" wedding

[@TheEldritchDarling]

Same!

[@jp-wc4ce]

the main tip for wedding planning I've always heard is "don't tell anyone it's for a wedding!" like say the cake is for a birthday, say the venue is for a party, say the food is for a family reunion. Apparently most places will dramatically raise the price if they know it's for a wedding, so just don't tell them! although, I've never done it myself. so take this advice with a grain of salt 😂

[@maryeckel9682]

I've heard this directly from bakers and photographers.

[@Lemon_Lime_Lily]

Don’t do that with certain things tho. If the company finds out, you might get in trouble for breach of contract.

[@ashnaNAHHH2606]

It's actually nice

[@nevermindmyparentsimthepunk]

​@@Lemon_Lime_LilyWait how do we find out the laws about this? I can understand more if it's videoagraphy or photography, and the cake if it looks more like a wedding cake design. but if you're having the ceremony in a type of private building or mostly doing catering. How is one in trouble with that mostly catering

[@Lemon_Lime_Lily]

It’s because you’re basically lying to them. They don’t have all the info so when you stroll in under the guise of a family reunion they aren’t going to give you the exact same things and services they have for weddings.

[@gabrielabaquero9269]

I am not originally from Namibia, but have lived here for some years now. The wedding setting you showed is a traditional Oshiwambo wedding. The Wambos are the biggest tribe in Namibia, and are located on basically the whole North of the country. Their weddings are extremely beautiful and long (2-3 days), full of cool rituals and very interesting to attend to as a foreigner. Indeed, the brides tend to use white dresses, of white dresses with wambo-inspired details. Love your content!

[@BreakfastLunchDinner515]

Wedding dress shopping was horrible for me (Australia in 2018 for context). The sales people in the shops were so mean about my hair, big hips, height etc. In the end a lady in a thrift store recommended I try a GREEN silk dress by a local designer she knew. It turned out amazing, it was locally designed and locally made to fit and was so much cheaper than normal wedding dresses 😊❤

[@leahjarvis8208]

I’ve been to about twelve weddings in the last year (and myself got married), and people are starting to pick more budget-friendly options. We had pizza for dinner at ours, and that’s been one of the most common budget-friendly options I’ve seen since. More and more brides are editing their moms’ dresses, having backyard weddings, etc. Covid played a big part in how many people are invited, too.

[@brittanyg6796]

I bought my wedding dress second hand and it was fantastic. Just go get it altered for your body. Do NOT into debt for a wedding Edit: I found my wedding dress at a consignment shop that specialized in formal wear and wedding dresses. It was still half the price of new dresses but still had a bridal boutique feel. And even though someone wore it before, it's still MY dress and I'm very fond of it. I can't recommend it enough.

[@relaxinggoddess]

I love that. I plan on thrifting my wedding dress lol.

[@DieAlteistwiederda]

You did it how I would probably do it as well. Already buy most of my clothes secondhand so it just makes sense to buy a wedding dress pre-loved as well. I personally don't like white and never wear it any other day of my life but honestly there are so many fancy dresses in all colors of the rainbow. Wouldn't be me if I wore white. Our mom didn't have a white dress either when she married our dad. Kind of a family tradition.

[@jessip8654]

I ended up donating my dress to a charity who gives the dresses to women who otherwise might not be able to afford a nice wedding dress. Didn't see the point of letting it hang in the back of my closet forever, especially since I can't even fit in it anymore. Hope someone else got to enjoy it too.

[@brittanyg6796]

@@jessip8654 I love this idea!!

[@CampingforCool41]

Having social anxiety makes the idea of having to plan and do a wedding in front of lots of people an absolute nightmare

[@SonoNariFiorewithGrace]

Sobs, that’s how I feel but I’ve been getting counseling again to over come it however I love to just elope and praying peace and joy be multiplied to you in Jesus name! 🫶🕊️✨

[@a.j.4644]

Then don't do it. You don't owe anyone a spectacle. I had 34 people at my wedding, and if I had it to do over, I'd have half that number (for a variety of reasons). Whatever you do, it's good that you know yourself well enough to prep for the experience. I didn't become overcome with anxiety about being judged and found wanting until the actual wedding l. (It all worked out. It's just a day. Your wedding is not your marriage.)

[@callmecharlie99]

I had a small wedding to appease my ex-wife's mom (she was a wedding planner who was horrified that her daughter was having a courthouse wedding) and I regretted it. I should have, A, not gotten married (wrong person, bad reasons) and, B, just gone down the courthouse route with a restaurant reception later LIKE I WANTED. I just settled for a lot bc it was traditional, and appeased people. I was honestly miserable a lot of the time and hated playing hostess. I'm not gonna tell anyone what to do, but I would highly recommend doing what feels right to you and your partner regardless of outside opinions (without being fiscally irresponsible ofc).

[@ashliehens]

When I got married, we wanted to do it in such a way that it would be super fun and also cheap. We had a back yard wedding with family pitching in for a bbq and cupcakes. I wore a little dress I found for $50 and he wore a polo. Since it was outdoors and we were in Texas at the time, we set it for early May. We had a bonfire and some fireworks we bought in Oklahoma; it was a blast and it was so cheap compared to any of my friend’s weddings. It’s still the best wedding I’ve ever been to and not just coz it was my own lol

[@fairytalecat]

This is so sweet so happy for you💕this should be the whole point of a wedding to enjoy your day celebrating with your spouse and people you love not about a price tag. Often times brides that have those extravagant expensive weddings don’t even get to enjoy their day and its months of stressful planning

[@Lina-rt9sy]

Sounds Like a dream

[@xLiLlyx98]

​@@fairytalecatthats the thing!! You put on a biiig expensive show for everyone else to enjoy while you are toeing the line of a mental breakdown and just wanna get it over with and probably hardly even remember anything bc you were running around all day being stressed about everything

[@rina-xs7sz]

Love!

[@KathrynsRavens]

My grandparents got married in '48 in the Netherlands, my Oma wore a nice wool suit bought on the black market because that was what they could afford, what was available and could be worn later. The pictures of the two of them are so lovely!

[@Eli-rk3lr]

In Norway its still very common for people to wear the traditional folk dress (which we call a bunad) for their wedding ! My mom got married in her bunad back in the 90s ! Some people go with just their bunad and some go full traditional wearing a folk bridal crown as well ! Yes there has been a strong homogenization of bridal attire and customs, but it doesn't mean all of Europe has given up on their cultures the moment queen Victoria stepped in.

[@stringlightdoggy]

bunad are so beautiful 😻

[@kria9119]

This goes for most of Europe really. Just go to any Austrian toen on a regular Saturday and so many people are wearing dirndls and lederhosen. Not to mention when it's their wedding. White dresses are nice but certainly not the only option

[@lizvtaz6]

Yes, but is not it rare? I know some young Norwegian women personally and I don't think any of them married wearing the bunad?

[@kira-chan9676]

In Germany (especially in Bavaria) there's also the concept of a bridal dirndl. After the wedding you can just shorten the hem, change up the apron to something less embellished or more colorful, change the underblouse and have a totally wearable dirndl for Oktoberfest or sometimes actual traditional festivals. I don't know how many people actually do this tho.

[@Eli-rk3lr]

@@kria9119 Yes exactly, european folk traditions are still well and alive in their immense diversity !

[@murrenkelly3866]

My aunt is 6 feet tall and while she was wedding dress shopping, a lot of consultants seemed to subtly reference finding dresses to make her look shorter and smaller. Pretty uncomfortable for everyone considering 5’10” and up is the norm for her and most of her sisters, and they’re all ok with their heights. She ended up in a beautiful dress, a simple veil, and some tall ass shoes.

[@khristianrachelle2941]

I got married one week ago and my dress was about $350, which is still quite a large chunk of money but pretty much one of the only things we paid for. It also didn't have a stitch of white in it. Covid really popularized having extremely simple weddings (like our little courthouse wedding with my parents as our two witnesses) and I'm so happy we went that route. We didn't have to stress about much at all. The day was smooth and simple. And I think more and more people are realizing that they'd rather pay for a honeymoon than a wedding.

[@maria-212]

Congratulations!

[@xiwenchen189]

I'm in awe of the bargain you got, perfect choice in this economy. I plan on making my future wedding gown in a purple silk and with a vintage pattern. Never really loved being the center of attention, so while I love attending weddings as a guest, I don't want to have one. Less about price and all about my narcissistic snobby mother who steamrolls any decision I make and is a genuine nightmare. I plan on using that 50k instead for a month long honeymoon in Europe and Asia.

[@Tessy29k]

I'm engaged and planning and honestly I think I am gonna spend less on my dress as my engagement ring was already crazy plus we are getting married in 2 different countries so I am not even sure about using the same dress for different traditional weddings. However instead of wedding gifts we will accept small contributions to our account. That way people will be directly contributing to our honeymoon. My sister did this for her wedding and it was a major success and people still bought gifts anyway 😂

[@tastymedleys]

That's such a good point about the honeymoon, I'd much rather splurge on a fun and/or relaxing longer trip than a one evening celebration.

[@becpennington7470]

I'm a sewist, and I'd say my best advice is to not try to force your body to fit a garment. You are the person. The inanimate object, the dress/suit/etc, should be made to fit *YOU*. Don't pressure yourself to change; that partner is marrying you because they are delighted with you *now*. Remember the cost of alterations and don't skimp on those when getting a gown/suit/etc. A good fit makes all the difference in how you feel, both in comfort and in aesthetic. The bridal boutiques in the US offer "in house" services, charge a chunk, then pay the sewists pennies on that (minimum wage, often) and pocket the difference. As an independent artist, I also charge a chunk, but you get what you pay for!

[@pigeondance]

I think what you said is also very true about everyday clothes too!

[@MiljaHahto]

Considering the price of a wedding dress, you cam very well have one custom made. Perhaps less pearls etc, but one that fits you perfectly and is designed for you, will stand out.

[@Rikku147]

Lol I used to really like wedding dress showcases, discussions, etc., but now they're just so weirdly conservative it drives me crazy. I hate seeing family reactions where they deem a dress "inappropriate" because the bride dared to have a leg slit, or cleavage, or even some rhinestones. People are shelling out so much money sometimes for dresses they don't even fully love due to societal expectations. I've also never cried just seeing someone in a wedding dress. It definitely feels manufactured at this point.

[@VideosForYou90]

Agree!

[@alannawebster8190]

I agree in the first part but at the last part I cried so hard when I my sister tried on wedding dresses

[@honeymelonade]

I think the inappropriate part comes from the tradition of bridal dresses (innocence, purity, looking "classy" etc) and the traditional setting of a church.

[@Rikku147]

@@honeymelonade which makes it even dumber because tradition, as explained above, is an ever evolving, inconsistent thing, and marriage is a legal contract under the government not a purely religious ceremony. So anyone who demands brides cover up is deluded. The body is not shameful and no amount of excuses make it justifiable.

[@Doxygurl]

Me, an emotional sap who cries when she saw her sisters and friends in their wedding dresses 😅😅

[@alexmcginness8859]

Also yes, the older generation is definitely still into big weddings with all the traditions. I feel like people my age (millennials in early 30s) isn’t as into the traditions and we’re way more into budget weddings, but are being peer pressured by our family’s to do things that are more extravagant.

[@featheredskyblue]

I grew up with my mom telling me how she got her wedding dress on clearance and both of my grandmothers' stories of homemade dresses, and I approached my wedding with that in mind. I got a dress that reminded me of the Edwardian s-bend silhouette for $100 in a sample sale, I skipped the veil in favor of a pearl headband that I could rewear, and I did my own makeup and hair before walking to the ceremony in the park. My husband got more of the "say yes to the dress" experience because we bought him a new suit for the occasion, and it was important that he really love it because it is something he can rewear. However, I DEFINITELY felt the pressure to have my wedding be different, especially from my inlaws. From offering money so we could have a bigger and more expensive event to putting on the pressure for me to be "pampered" by professional makeup and hair, there was a lot of focus on making it a big event and for me to be the center of attention.

[@MarquisdeL3]

Haha, my husband also got more of the "say yes to the dress" experience than I did! I just bought my dress online, but I took him to a proper suit store so he could get a nice suit picked and tailored by professionals. Men usually only have one or two very nice suits for pretty much their whole lives, whereas I'll have several dresses of varying style and formality for all kinds of events, so it made more sense to focus time and energy there. Though if I'd worn a suit, I definitely would have done the whole shopping and tailoring experience.

[@haleymist09]

The original poster's wedding sounds amazing despite the pressure from in-laws. I think i.mightve taken at least one up in the offer to do hair or makeup because I caaaaaaaaan't lol

[@featheredskyblue]

​@@haleymist09 Fair! I just find it stressful to have strangers touch my face and hair, especially when the pressure was also to travel nearly an hour to get to the salon they liked. I was happier having that time to relax, have a cup of tea and pet the neighbor's cat.

[@haleymist09]

@featheredskyblue oh yeah thay sounds nice. I ain't traveling an hour away! Lol.

[@iridescentaurora268]

I’m getting married this September, and bruh… the amount of money I, my fiancé, and my Mother have spent on this wedding is bonkers - and my wedding isn’t even extravagant. Like really, I’m keeping it pretty basic, still expensive as all get-out.

[@evieisacompletemess6908]

Have an amazing wedding x

[@Littlestrawberii]

As a Mexican American girly. Growing up I dreamt about my 15 not about having a wedding. I feel like weddings are looked forward to not necessarily for the love part but to be able to wear a super gorgeous dress and have everyone see how super gorgeous you look lolol. I think if Americans had the whole 15 things with the big dress and reception to celebrate a person " becoming a woman" then there woul be less of a want to have this giant magical wedding. I think its kinda dangerous to fantasize having a legally binding celebration with a person. I think its better to be honest with what you really want. Do want to have a super awesome party celebrating you or a super awesome wedding where once of the steps is to be legally bound to someone. Note : Apologies for all the mispelling, I wrote with passion hehe.

[@FlyToTheRain]

i think you're right on about how some folks approach weddings, not so much about celebrating the relationship as it is about getting dressed up and throwing a big expensive party. high school dances like homecoming and prom sort of have the same spectacle about them? staying up late in the school gym with loud music is personally not how i like spending part of my weekend but i was asked by a nice boy to prom junior year. did the whole dress buying operation, got my hair and makeup done, went out for a nice dinner, grand march, the dance, then the after prom party at a bowling alley, and while my partner was a perfect gentleman the whole night... i chose to skip all school dances my senior year. that sort of event just isn't for me but i definitely felt the social pressure to do it all.

[@moonshinershonor202]

I never thought of it like that, it's an interesting way to put it. I just dress up for myself too, some older women like it, girls my age say I'm overdressed or just plain ignore me.

[@moonshinershonor202]

I knew a girl who during her photoshoot a little girl came up and told her she looked like a princess with her fantastic poofy blue dress. She wasn't wrong.

[@cinthiaham1517]

I don’t know. Mexican weddings are still extravagant because in order to marry in the church you have to have your 15

[@xxx_these.flightless.wings_xxx]

I never thought of it that way, but I think you might be onto something. In my culture, we have a thing called majorat, which is the celebration organized with the occasion of one's 18th birthday (and them officially becoming an adult, since in my country 18 is the legal age for pretty much anything). I personally threw a small, lowkey gathering in my bedroom on a Sunday night with some pizza, a shit ton of booze and six of my friends, but I saw insta posts from some of the girls in my year who planned out the whole thing to (what seems to me as) an absurd extent: renting venues, shopping for gowns, having multiple outfits, getting their hair and makeup professionally done, decorating the venue, ordering food, having a grand entrance, etc., to the point where I have to agree that it looked more like a wedding. I do have to mention that this is just a minority, and most teens don't go to this extent for their celebrations, but, now that I think about it, I find the idea of sort of marrying yourself quite charming.

[@mjewrites]

I’ve been a bridesmaid 3 times and let me tell you, it is fun. In my case I got to help do hair and makeup to cut costs and it was a nice bonding moment for everyone, getting ready together. But oh man, being a bridesmaid AFTER the wedding? Means you’ll be spending forever taking down all of the rented decorations and furniture and packing everything into cars and trying not to break stuff. This is especially hard when you’ve been in heels for the whole day and you’re drunk on wedding champagne.

[@ffx2fan122]

The feeling of watching Hallie having to pick between the white and black hat to pair with the wedding dress was so intense.

[@meangothlesbian]

a universal experience lmfao

[@Rumade]

My mum made my dress for me, with fabric I bought in Tokyo. We did go to a bridal salon to try on dresses, partially to see what silhouette suited me, but we did say that if we found one I really loved, we would buy it. None of the dresses did it for me. She made my dress, I made my veil. The dress was white satin with a Japanese asanoha print. We had a really small Friday night ceremony (7 guests!) and then a Saturday garden party with more like 50, 60 guests. For that I wore a vintage kimono, bought in Osaka for very little. Doing it this way got me 2 outfits that fit me perfectly- I'm petite and while salons can shorten the hem of a dress for you, they can't make it fit in other ways like shortening torse. Cost of both outfits was about £200, accessories £100, but I did have to pay £160 for kimono dressing.

[@rclementine77]

My friend was told as a child "If you're a bride in June, you're a bride all your life" and even though we have no idea what that's supposed to mean, she's been in love with the idea of a romantic June wedding ever since

[@rosecoloredbby]

I've never heard that expression in my life, but I have a soft spot for June because it's my birthmonth and I love the summer. I'd love a simple summer wedding

[@rclementine77]

@@rosecoloredbby My birth month too! Happy belated birthday!!

[@lazy_ghost2573]

​@@rosecoloredbby @TruthBeTold222 eyy, nice to see other people from the born-in-June gang! happy belated birthday to you both :D

[@mahnoorali4102]

I think it means that June weddings don't end in divorce? Or that you have a happier married life and feel that same way you did as a bride on the wedding day throughout your marriage? Seems like those old superstitions tbh.

[@chunellemariavictoriaespan8752]

Though I can say it's kinda true but emotionally false... My parents married in June 5 (or was it 10?), But they've been emotionally withdrawn... Dad can be emotionally toxic... He tries but now knowing he's been cheating, it seems placating... I honestly don't get it but yeah he died married to mum on a makeshift bed outside their room... They were fighting...

[@kendramckay2225]

My wedding dress was not my dream dress and while that sometimes makes me sad, it’s okay! I got married which was what the day was all about! I didn’t have the money or the time to find exactly what I wanted and I know so many other people have had the same experience. There’s too much pressure on having the perfect dress, perfect hair, perfect day, perfect everything and I’m afraid that that sets people up for a lot of disappointment!

[@cbpd89]

I tried on probably 30 dresses and snapped a photo in almost every single one to get an idea of how it really looked on me. Between finding a dress that looked good on my body type, was in my modest budget, and fit my personal taste (I wanted sleeves, which is apparently impossible) the pickings were slim. I think the dress I ended up with was lovely, but it wasn't what I was dreaming of or anything. But the main goal was a marriage, not just a wedding, so it more than got the job done.

[@kendramckay2225]

@@cbpd89 I wanted one with long sleeves too! I think there were maybe four with them in the store😂 I ended up going with one of them though!

[@194californiagirl]

I live in Utah and the wedding culture here is insane. If you're part of the major religion (you know) then your family has to be "temple worthy" to even witness the ceremony. On the plus side of that you get to get married in a literal castle. If you're not part of the religion then there are tons of expensive venues to choose from. My younger sister got married at a venue that was 10k and she had to cater. After being a bridesmaid multiple times I've decided that I don't really want to deal with the headache of a wedding and don't care if I ever get married.

[@beckysam3913]

thats why las vegas is for, just get married for cheaper and more fun there! i am 47 and never thought that i would stay unmaried. my parents are radical religious , (non christian and i do not live in usa but my parents migrated to europe). i became a professional nurse, and my eyes opened to injustice to girls and women, education made me strong, independent and had my income. i left the cult and the family years back, never regretting. today, i still work partime as nurse and go to university again. a white dress for one day can never feel as good as the freedome and financial independence i have. i am not opposed to marriages but the girls and young women i met over the years, were escaping from getting education to marriage, thinking that stay at home mom for 7 kids would make them happier, which was actually a trap for them in the religious and political cult. when they met me under four eyes, they warned me even to marry. again, if you have your education, profession, your banking account, your driver licence, do not depend on mercy of the in-laws, have a relationship that is based on compromise and not co-dependency, marriage can be a wonderful journey for the two people.

[@greeplurch]

At least you can save money by having the reception in a church gym 😂

[@djorleny]

@@greeplurch😂😂 I can’t with the weddings in the church’s gyms. So cringy.

[@fantomesauvage2663]

I had a year in my life where I was obsessed with wedding dresses. I collected many vintage ones and would wear almost only that on a daily basis. I still wear wedding dresses sometimes to go grocery shopping, just because it feels so good wearing those beautiful dresses. I am not married and have no plan to be at the moment, but I hope I get married someday and make my wedding a work of art like this gothic one you showed us

[@kat4923]

This is the most creative thing I've heard in a while, ngl

[@rachelcookie321]

Can I ask how you collected the dresses? Where did you get them from? I would love to get some vintage wedding dresses and I always look in the thrift store but they never really have any wedding dresses and the ones they do have are from like 2000.

[@7BearSarah]

As a former bridal consultant, i immediately clicked on this video as it’s always fascinated me. Let’s just be real, I’d watch Mina do a video essays on the history of grass so… One of my huge takeaways from working at two different boutiques (and having bought my own dress), is the emphasis on the color and it’s representation in culture. I live in the south and in the buckle of the Bible Belt, you can imagine there was a lot of conversation about whether a dress was white enough. I found it incredibly refreshing when a bride would tell me “anything but white please”. (I should mention here that there are minute differences in ivory and white in bridal that become very obvious when you stare at them all day. I’m talking specifically when girls asked for not white white, or even more rare blush *gasps and clutches pearls*) I myself specifically wanted a blush dress because I was just so bogged down by the barrage of ivory… Sorry if this was convoluted, just wanted to chime in!

[@hana1664]

So I am from the Czech Republic and I was a bridesmaid when I was really young (kindergarten). I wore a gorgeous princess white dress and a headpiece. The point of a bridesmaid is that any possible bad luck gets confused who the actual bride is and doesn't damage the bride and the marrige. So she better looks like a bride! This was in the 90's though, I don’t know how weddings look today.

[@emahabara1215]

Did so in the 2000s and early 2010s in Slovakia, and I'm going to a wedding in august, will come back to report

[@justatinyhalfling]

My goal was to reuse my wedding dress, so I avoided the wedding boutiques and got a cream coloured floor length slip dress on sale for 180€ and paid another 40€ to have it tailored. Paired with flowers and nude heels it fit the classic wedding look without the wedding price. I still wear it to formal occasions, paired with a relaxed hair style and some colour in the accessories. Best decision ever. 👍

[@karacoconutag]

This sounds like a gorgeous ensemble! Rewear value is a big priority of mine as well.

[@Zaftique]

I recommend A History of the Wife by Marilyn Yalom - it's hilarious how incredibly modern so many of our "traditional" wedding things are! (For one, it used to be entirely normal to wait until the bride got pregnant to even bother wedding, since it proved her fertility!)

[@annaneu9954]

Thank you so much. I put it on my reading list.

[@lore1612]

this is why i plan to rent a dress! nothing will ever be perfect

[@boogie7641]

Thanks for the idea I never thought of renting!

[@littlecatface]

Yeah, I was thinking of that too! It's weird no one seems to mention it over in the west because I'm pretty sure it's the norm here in asia. It just makes so much sense to me, why buy something you're only gonna wear once?

[@anapeleteirovigil3199]

Much more sustainable and affordable!

[@barbiebunnybakery1896]

I’m a costume designer so for me the only way is to design my own dress and honestly although I am single currently I was thinking of actually making my dream dress 🤭 if I ever get married I will already have my perfect dress if not I have a photographer friend and a nice opportunity for a shoot 😂

[@harrietamidala1691]

Yes, I think rental wedding dresses should be a thing. I don’t understand spending thousands of dollars for dress you’re only going to wear once, maybe twice if you get married again.

[@PrincessMadeira]

I bought my dress at a bridal boutique and it was spendy but I will say bridal boutiques are a super fun experience, they don’t show you the sizes and bridal consultants know what will look good on your body and they clip it so you see what it will look like tailored and they help you in and out, as someone who normally hates trying on clothes because it triggers my body issues, it was a really lovely experience, and it feels like that’s what clothes shopping should always be like.

[@sleepingseb4312]

One weird thing about my culture. Wedding dress is traditionally gifted by the groom's family. And even though things are changing many brides don't even know what they're getting till a day before the wedding. The color style fit everything decided by your mother in law

[@jayebullock8002]

Which culture?

[@DragonriderEpona]

Do most brides end up liking what they wear on their wedding day? Like, I'm super picky when it comes to taste (food, clothing, music, etc.), so unless the mother-in-law knows you well, you'll probably end up with something you won't like. So far, I don't like this idea. But I'm happy to be enlightened by the inside of you culture :3

[@sleepingseb4312]

@jayebullock8002 no they don't!! And if they don't wear that dress its huge mess. I remember one of cousins literally crying the day before her wedding when she got her dress she hated it. But everyone made her wear it so the in laws aren't hurt. But they're paying for it and its considered a "gift". But some people are changing now. When my brother got married we went to shopping together the sister in law and her family

[@beepboopily6285]

That's kind of cruel-sounding to me. I don't have much interest in weddings or marriage but it is the bride & groom's party, not the MIL. I'd be really really sad if I couldn't even choose my own dress!

[@riyaisnotokay]

Yeah my mom had to wear a horrible dress on her wedding

[@cindystumpf]

My daughter is making both her and her fiance's dresses and they are getting married in a food cart park. It's going to be a party and so simple and fun. And cheap. I'm so glad people feel more free to do whatever. You can literally do whatever you want.

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

In my belief system, the best time for a wedding is around the Strawberry Moon (also known as the Honey Moon). Harvesting good things, bringing sweetness into a marriage. We also believe in newlyweds throwing out their old broom after the jump.

[@ketsia2707]

I found the video super interesting ! Just to say : In France, the bride and the groom must stay until the party is done. They can't leave staight to the honey moon. So you need to clean all by yourself (with family who help) and THEN you can go to honey moon. But today, the honey moon can be few weeks or months after (because is expensive). Again thank you for all the searches, the work and the topic you bring everytime ! 🙃🙃

[@morgandanielson381]

This topic is one of my soapbox ones and I loved getting to hear your take! ♥️ I use to work at a bridal shop and I now design gowns. Nearly every bride I have worked with completely believed in the necessity of a “bridal moment” when finding the perfect dress. As a bridal sales consultant it was my job to try to create it for them, not just to get a sale, but because the bride felt it was a precursor to feeling confident in their decision. Wedding dresses are made to be beautiful so it was not a matter of whether it looked good or even fit their taste, it was more about creating an environment with lush sofas, drinks, and cajoling compliments from friends and family-all so they could have the feeling they had heard all their life they would experience to go along with the logical reasons behind them likening a dress. Designing custom dresses is even harder because they have nearly unlimited choices and they must feel confident in those choices. I once had a bride who was continuously dissatisfied with her custom dress despite it being exactly what she asked for. She simply never got the bridal moment. I had to secretly ask her friends and siblings to encourage her when she had a final fitting, even work up some tears, so she could finally have an emotional reaction to accompany her dream dress. Normally I would say do not buy something if you do not feel confident you love it, but for wedding dresses it takes so much more-birds singing, mom’s happy tears, and exclamations of how the groom will be slack-jawed upon your entrance-before a bride will even consider it a contender.

[@karacoconutag]

Wow I never thought about how much of a production that "moment" would be from the seller's perspective but that makes a lot of sense. Making a custom gown that appeases such high expectations must be super nerve wracking, I'm impressed! Thanks for sharing!

[@morgandanielson381]

@@karacoconutag Exactly! It can be such a delightful time but also filled with some really rough expectations. =)

[@nep22nne]

sofia richie’s after party dress hypnotizes me everytime i see it. i love it so so much. i think it’s so classic chanel but i think it’s so beautiful. i love when the dress fits a personality too, like the one lane wears in gilmore girls. the reveal that it’s a short skirt for the party makes me giddy everytime i watch.

[@hannahg5479]

Wedding Dress Seamstress here (or at least I was until 2020)! A few things: > Wedding season has a lot to do with where you live; I'm in the Midwest, and peak wedding season is September/October with April/May slightly less popular. June in general, is not a big month for weddings. > Pure white is not that common anymore. Blush, cream, ivory, etc. are more popular. The modern bride seems more interested in matching her skin tone (which I think great!) > Most dresses I see are nowhere near that 19K mark. Frankly, I'm skeptical of how that 'average' is being calculated. I think the most expensive dress I've worked on was 10K. The average in my own studio seems to be around 2.5K-- which is still insane. Wedding dresses are like wine: once you hit a certain price point, quality is the same whether you are spending 2K, 5K, or 10K-- so give yourself a bit of a reality check when buying, and see if you can find a cheaper version of the same dress (you probably can). All that being said: I think weddings are fun-- and often reflect import pieces of the culture we live in-- but the superfluous spending around them is insane and pointless in my opinion. Most people don't remember your wedding unless its bad anyway, so trying to impress them with excess is a silly waste. We always say in the industry: the more you spend on the wedding, the shorter the marriage will be-- which of course is a bit catty from the people "behind the scenes" but starting your marriage is $60,000 in debt isn't exactly gonna breed martial bliss.

[@juliawaggoner4575]

She said $1,900 is the average dress cost, not $19,000

[@hannahg5479]

@@juliawaggoner4575 Oh! Thanks for pointing that out-- explains why I though it was so insane!

[@cherilynwy]

I’m in my early twenties and only a handful of people in my social circle are married. Surprisingly, most of them went for small weddings and really affordable simple wedding dresses (three of them actually got married in the city hall). As a girl I feel like I’m on the same page as them regarding wedding plans. If I were to get married I honestly don’t have the urge to go for anything fancy and big. I guess gen z is at a stage where we care less about how others think of our presentations but more about how we feel and want to go for. Plus there’s no judging from anyone whatsoever so just my experience 😛

[@luizahundt]

I was never the type of person to dream of a wedding, so when my husband and I did decide to tie the knot, I think the fact I didn't have a mental folder of what a "perfect wedding" should be like helped me, because all I wanted was to have a nice party to celebrate our love. It was a backyard event at my parents place, only around thirty people invited. I made the invitations, my dress (which was green and 50s inspired), my own makeup, bouquet and the cake. I decorated it with vintage items from family, my sister took the photos and later my dad put together a wedding video for me. The only more expensive things were two kegs of beer and the pizza service (they made the pizzas at the party, it was delicious). I think I know people who've spent more money on a simple birthday party. I loved our wedding and so did all the guests!

[@lateoclock4281]

I wore my grandmother's wedding dress. She tailored it for me herself with help from my mom and aunt! It was an amazing gift and made me feel so loved.

[@laurensander7968]

I was fortunate enough to sew my own wedding dress. I’m really proud of it, and so grateful I was able to take time and effort into it, and finance the supplies. It turned out exactly how I wanted, and fit me perfectly! I think all styles out there right now are absolutely beautiful, just not for me. That’s why I decided to sew my own. 😊

[@laurensander7968]

Thanks, Mina for making this video! 🥰

[@UltraViolet666]

I would actually like to do the same, if we end up doing more than just the courthouse. Did you choose a pattern to follow? 😊

[@opheliaretardanta8348]

I’m surprised there was no talk about Kate Middelton’s dress considering the impact it made for future brides wanting to be the actual princess to be. I know everyone loved that dress and I do too especially the lace just looked so elegant on her ❤

[@dahliaherrod4301]

By far my most favorite wedding dress. I thought it was so beautiful. It's like a scaled-down princess down. Her waist looked so tiny and I love the high collar on it and the full length sleeve. Just a really classy and elegant and beautiful like the bride.

[@nadias6435]

Weird that she skipped it considering that was the dress to officially end all the strapless ones once and for all thank god. It launched a thousand copy cats who wanted long lace sleeves, further proving everyone has a monkey see monkey do mentality and doesn't want to be unique even on their own wedding day.

[@SoyMariaAntonia]

I think that overall a lot of weddings are planned catering to the guests, the idea is to show (in a lot of cases) how wealthy you are, and how extravagant you can be. I love the idea of having smaller, cheaper, more intimate weddings where people are there to truly celebrate two people getting married, instead of being wine and dined on my money. Plus buying a dress that’s more than $500 that I will most likely only wear once it’s crazy to me.

[@rachelcookie321]

At least for me I want to have an extravagant wedding because I want to feel like a princess. I don’t care if I look wealthy or not to other people, I just want for one day to be able to sit in a castle, everyone doing what me and my groom want, to wear a ball gown that I would never get to wear in my life. I’m never gonna have that opportunity again to have a party where me and my husband are the complete centre of attention where I can wear a huge extravagant dress. I’m not doing that because I want to show off, i’m doing it because I want to feel what it’s like to wear a nice dress and I want to feel special. I would wear beautiful dresses everyday if I could afford them and had somewhere to wear them to but I don’t, my wedding is my only opportunity so I want to make the most of it. For my parents I think they had the same feeling when planning their wedding. They wanted to feel like a prince and princess.

[@dianah4016]

The fact that you cared enough to delete the myths section of the video speaks volumes about your integrity as a creator. I wish this was the norm in modern day journalism. You're great, I just wanted to let you know.

[@keefashine2657]

when my sister got married, she bought 3 of the 4 bridesmaid dresses secondhand. mine was bought new as I am both fat and tall lol so we needed a new one. but she resold them all and they went instantly. she resold her dress and all our shoes too. they could still be out there in circulation, going from wedding to wedding. i think that's a lot more common now. people are in wedding groups and share resources. spend money where they can and save where they can!

[@thevelveteenrabbit]

Thank you! As a bride mid wedding planning I needed this. I have been engaged quite nearly a year and keep spiraling into the deaths of dispare whenever I start planning because of cost. I got my dress last week on a whim because I finally booked a dress appointment at David's bridal didn't find anything and went to another location. It was closing in 3 days so it was now or never because sales. I cried alot because the longer I was there the more and more I hated my body. It was a rough time. This helped me find peace 💕

[@newtpollution]

Not Mina dropping this video while I'm literally sketching the design for my wedding dress

[@xxx_these.flightless.wings_xxx]

Good luck with the design process then, I'm sure it'll turn out wonderful

[@Pandaboomina]

I’m excited for you!

[@sundus928]

I just started binge watching "Say Yes to the Dress " and then this video popped up. 😅 Honestly, I just watch it for the Consultants and how supportive they can be , Especially Gok from Uk version. How happy Brides feel after they find their dream dress.

[@Thekawaiiasian101vid]

This video came in such perfect timing bc every now and then I’ll go through a “wedding phase” where I’ll start adding more pins into my wedding board, start binge watching ‘say yes to the dress’ clips, and go back and forth between what I want my future dress to be. It’s strange because I never thought too much about any of this when I was younger lol. But it’s fun to fantasize. I’m still young so I’m open to changing my mind, but I’m very keen on either a priscilla presley inspired gown or a traditional ballgown shape. With like…1830s-1840s influences. ❤️

[@precchie]

Omg I’ve watched Mina for years hearing her mention our small country Namibia just made me soo happy ❤️🥹🫶🏾

[@annarita333]

My mother wore a colourful outfit and I inherited the skirt as an everyday clothing item :) Traditional brides in our region wore black with colourful ribons and a crown made from wire, glass beads and pearls. What also fascinates me is the "giving away the bride" as it is not part of my culture :)

[@verityadams8751]

omg i'm so glad you brought up that scene in the parent trap with the wedding dresses. that scene was cemented into my memory too and the wedding dress with the top hat is honestly one of my faves ever. i just think it looks cool!

[@kattkatt744]

Regarding picture at 8:35 As fare as I know the 白無垢, しろもく, shiromoku has always been an option for Shinto weddings. White has been a ritualistic colour in Shinto since long before European and North-American influence on Japan. On the other hand what is talked about in the voiceover for the photo sound a lot more like the wedding reception that is held separately from the Shinto wedding. Most of the modern receptions are a blend of Japanes customs and influences from North America. There you will often see the bride in dresses that are "western" and often they are white, but they may as well be red, pink, blue or even black. What the bride and groom do with their dress and decoration at the reception can be very diverse in Japan as long as they fulfilled the underlying social obligations that the reception is there to cover.

[@Subaltern_Whisper]

Thanks for the amazing video! The diamond engagement ring industry is also pretty shocking, definitely would be an awesome addition to/continuation of the video!

[@danam.5127]

I had that emotional "Wow!" moment with the kimono I wore for my coming of age photo shoot. The whole thing was a complete surprise right up until the moment I stepped into the studio. The first kimono I tried on was a beautiful bright purple with white and pink flowers. I tried on two other kimonos just to make sure, but everyone agreed the purple one was THE dress! I got my hair and makeup done and then the photo shoot, and the whole thing was so magical. It was just a rental (though I do wish I could have kept the kimono). I think that afternoon was so special that it gave me everything I wanted from a wedding. That being said, I still dream of wearing the 2015 Cinderella ballgown for some special occasion.

[@SpringSpark]

Funny enough, maybe the prettiest I ever felt was in Korea, where I got to rent and wear a pink and blue hanbok. People took photos with me and my friend because we literally looked like Disney princesses. Not sure a white dress will be ever as good.

[@rachelcookie321]

I love any fancy clothing like that from a wedding dress to a kimono. I just love wearing those sorts of clothing. I wish I had the opportunity to wear lots of stuff like that. I like big fancy historical clothing. Even non fancy historical clothing is cool. It all just feels so special. I wish I had a chance to wear stuff like that but my only opportunity is really my wedding. I got to wear a yukata at a tea ceremony in Japan but it was done really hastily and I had my clothes on underneath it wasn’t like a proper formal thing, it was just done by the local ladies.

[@karlenelind3810]

I had the "this is my dress" feeling in 2019 after turning the corner in a goodwill while shopping with my mom. It was just hanging on the end of the rack waiting for me. It took my breath away. My now husband proposed to me 4 months later without even knowing I had bought it. Cost me 16 dollars at the thrift and 100 at the tailor. It remains the best thrift find of my life.

[@LadyAhro]

Loosely themed weddings can certainly help you with dress concepts. Much like Safiya's Celestial wedding, my current running theme/decor variation is probably leaning towards an artful take on a Starry Night theme, with a subtle hint of Steampunk/Edwardian vibes for my partner. Which I'm interpreting as adding copper tones and little hot air balloon decor pieces alongside the vintage cardboard clouds and similar artwork from some Edwardian era photography. My dress of choice with that in mind is as variant on the Chotronette Aurora Borealis dress, lining the bodice and putting the sleeves back on the shoulder as a bishop sleeve. Not quite 1890-1910s fashion, but inspired by that.

[@mjewrites]

I loved Safiya’s wedding! Especially love that she went all out with a black dress for the reception and they did the Addams Family dance. So perfectly Safiya 🖤 The celestial aesthetics are something I want if I ever get married, though I’m also looking to throw in some Art Deco, Mid-Century Modern, and (oddly), Renaissance vibes to the mix.

[@alexishorton3065]

I was a bridal stylist in high school and college. First, it was the mostttt rewarding job ever. I love a happy bride. I love the changing eras of wedding dresses - especially as someone who grew up planning a dream wedding!

[@lionfish2201]

I crocheted my own wedding dress. It took a year, so while the materials came out to under $300, the labor cost was literally most of my down time for a year. But I wouldn’t change a thing

[@mjewrites]

one celebrity wedding I loved was ariana grande’s. Her dress was beautiful yet minimalistic and I believe her makeup was inspired by Audrey hepburn’s in Funny Face. I loved that she had it inside her home and the only decorations were flowers and candles. I was actually surprised at how simple the ceremony was because you expect celebrities to go all out for their weddings but looking back it makes perfect sense, seeing as Ariana is very private with her personal life and we were just beginning vaccinations so big parties weren’t happening yet (at least not for responsible people).

[@SiriusVladdye]

I got married in my mother-in-law's backyard and bought my dress off the rack at Macy's for 30$ (it was an actual bridal dress, I think it was a return so that might explain the discounted price). My sister is also getting married this year; she's going the traditional wedding route. The cost (and stress) so far has been astronomical for a midsize wedding and it just makes me more content in my decision to not buy into the wedding industry.

[@indigocarra2762]

Yeah I was a bridesmaid at my friends wedding a month ago, and the several months of planning and stress she went through didn't seem worth it to me (and I'm thinking maybe not to her either). Like the moments of the wedding she obviously really enjoyed could have been achieved for so much less or even nothing at all. Her favorite parts seemed to be the time marrying and celebrating with her husband. I don't think she expected to be so overwhelmed by all the different elements coming together the day of.

[@magdawind13]

I had a boss that made fun of people who have rings that cost less than $1,000 - saying it was embarrassing to be seen wearing something so cheap. My ring was a couple hundred and it’s the most beautiful thing I own. I’m proud of it! We got to spend more money buying a house because our wedding was so inexpensive, and I’m still told today (years and years later) that my wedding was the most beautiful and fun wedding that my guests and family had ever been to. We prioritized the experience, not the materials!

[@elle-says]

This video was perfectly timed. I'm planning mine and the reality check is welcomed since finding my dress is going to be the next task I tackle. It's so easy to get caught up in the ~*~ shoulds and supposed-to-bes ~*~

[@gremlita]

congratulations!

[@elle-says]

@@gremlita aw thank you ☺️ been a fan of your content for a long time

[@vicg2652]

I’m having a really small wedding (just a quick ceremony in the park and dinner afterwards) and the price of everything so far has absolutely floored me. The trick is to not tell anyone it’s a wedding. Like “I need a bouquet… for something that’s totally not a wedding”.

[@curlzOdoom]

The end reminded me of when my cousin and I were planning our weddings. My cousin wanted something simple and small, but her mother pressured her into a bigger event. I ended up not having a wedding at all, but when I was thinking about it, I kept telling my mom that I wanted a super small ceremony and the party to be laid back. I didn't even care if there were decorations. My mom never understood that and felt that I would have regretted not having an actual wedding. Then the pandemic happened, and I knew SEVERAL people who had that small budget wedding I was wanting!! And people still are having these tiny intimate ceremonies with laid back parties after. The generation before mine just doesn’t get it.

[@DanikaNikole]

Love this video! I just got married last week at the Madonna Inn in California. I was definitely a bride on a budget this past year! My wedding dress was a 1960’s dress I purchased at a vintage shop for $150- and I had some alterations done to make it look similar to Audrey’s dress in Funnyface :) Alterations were $300, but still much less than a new dress all together. I made all of our reception centerpieces myself, all of our decorations for the ceremony and reception were thrifted vintage pieces or made by my mother or myself. I utilized vintage wedding cake toppers for decor & for our wedding cake. My bouquets (one for holding, one for throwing) I had done at the Ralph’s grocery store florist across the street from Madonna Inn. Grocery store florists absolutely nail vintage florals, and the two bouquets only cost me $60. I was surprised at how much we accomplished with our budget, and I’m so glad we utilized so many vintage pieces to minimize waste!

[@georgeh4031]

Literally watching this while stressing over my own bridal looks. It’s nice to see how bridal styles have changed looking at the trends throughout the years kinda puts it all in perspective again.

[@rachelrice9548]

Thank you Mina!! I own a wedding photography company in Cincinnati. I see a wide range of weddings, but whether they’re spending $100k or $20k on their wedding, most couples tell me their biggest priorities are having an amazing party with all their family and friends together, and beautiful photos/video.

[@rachelrice9548]

In regards to wedding fashion I see here in Cincy…the styles are getting slimmer (not as many ballroom gown styles) but trains can be long still. The styling is showing much more simplicity too in the last year or so! As for wedding guest styles, I don’t know what it is, but it’s getting so much better and more fun! So many bold and colorful outfits this year. I’ve wondered if online dress rentals like Rent the Runway have made some of the difference we’ve seen?

[@rayanne6764]

For me, I got a sale dress for $300 and got married at the court house for free. I spent a total of $2,000 and that included the wedding ring and all. I used hobby lobby flowers instead of real ones which are cheaper and can be reused... I cut nearly every corner to minimize cost. It was still amazing!

[@thisisjeannie4723]

Mina! Loved this video, I forgot how much I used to love wedding dresses. I've been watching your content for most of the year and you've put me back in touch with aspects of my femininity and love for fashion that I'd abandoned in my NLOG years. I learn something new each time too. Your work is appreciated

[@VanessaViceVersa]

This video is so relevant to me right now as I'm planning my wedding 😂 Its really neat to see the different perspectives on weddings, attire, attitudes, etc from so many people in the comments. Personally as a cosplayer and someone who likes to dress up for fun, weddings and all its fanfare are like the perfect "normalized" excuse to dress up fancy, and I get to do it with the person I love? Amazing! We're doing a themed wedding with "Princess Bride, but make it modern chic". Romantic 19th century blouses, storybook themes, really hamming up the romance of it all but throwing in some humor with it too. Finding my dress has been the easiest thing out of the whole process oddly enough 😅 I knew what I wanted, what styles I like and are flattering on me, etc. Found the dress. Bought it. Done 😂 I think folks are REALLY pressured into having this grand jaw dropping event with the wedding dress having "to be THE dress" and it sucks. I'll admit I catch myself falling into it sometimes, and if I'm honest it's hard to tell whether my desire for a very pomp and circumstance wedding is out of a true yearning for it or because of a cultural idealism of it. I think the line is blurry, both could be true. I could have done a backyard wedding and been happy nevertheless. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ But I like being ✨dramatic✨ Either way, I definitely think there needs to be less pressure to have such a "momentous occasion once in a lifetime omg" wedding. And I think in the "west", embracing many different styles of dress: thrifted, budget, no dress, not white, etc. Is a place to start.

[@dianaadamo5574]

I love the theme of your wedding! Based on how you've described it, I'm sure it'll be beautiful and charming. It can be hard to figure out whether you do want all the hullabaloo or to avoid it, given all the pros and cons...but it sounds like you're trusting your gut, and that's what's important. Congratulations 🎉

[@mementokoriart412]

I'm glad you included a clip of the Breaking Dawn wedding scene bc that was an iconic wedding scene imo!! It's really stuck with me since I watched it when I was younger; the perfect, forest wedding vibe 🥺