The Philosophy of Depression

[@Sisyphus55]

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[@こいすけ-w3x]

Thanks Sisyphus55!

[@neonpheonix7870]

Hi @Sisphus55, I really appreciate your work, and it truly helps people grow and I enjoy seeing and debating the philosophical views/ analysis myself and challenging views and perceptions on the world, eachother and oneself. I am wondering about a video that I really enjoyed that I believe you have hidden, "On Beauty". I was wondering if there was a chance that it could be republished. Some things strike a great deal of importance and meaning to me regardless of their content, that video being one of them. It is of course your works and thus should do with it as you feel, something I am very aware of and a decision you should feel comfortable with no matter the external input. Was just hoping, as a few of the older videos of yours, are still really appreciated. Hope this finds you well

[@mikespike2099]

Hey S, great observations about life. Really good “red pill” discussions. I am a deeply practical person and have wondered with the advent of Medical Assisted dying for the elderly if this concept will be allowed as a humane path for those who really gave life a go, went to therapy and sought the help they need but ultimately are happy with the decision to pass on! To me it’s the ultimate final freedom for humanity. It’s really hard to debate this issue because too many people live under the “blue pill” and I think there is some capitalist control against destroying “consumers” heck even YT would probably not allow such a debate.

[@onlinesongscs]

It made me somewhat sad and happy at the same time that, at the beginning of the essay, you talked about months. I have no remembrance of different times and hope to learn and grow. Best wishes to everybody.

[@hel2727]

I think the worst part is when you're extremely aware of all your problems and that it is a mental illness, but you still can't do anything about it and that huge void just keeps growing

[@ponpo185]

I respect myself for who I am. I also don’t call it an illness.

[@strictlymoe]

@@ponpo185 This is difficult when you have constant intrusive thoughts of self harm that you don't necessarily want to have. Maybe you deal with this and have come to peace with it? Others haven't found that.

[@yahyeet3694]

do tiny things for yourself. And I do mean TINY. A sip of water. Pressing play on a song you like. Moving your feet a little in bed. These things help. They don't feel like much, hell sometimes they even feel pathetic, but over time they build up. you'll make it out of bed, you'll start singing along, you'll stop thinking about whatever is harming you as much. And that, my friend, is progress. So start with tiny. Please.

[@JerryD9000]

​@@yahyeet3694100% this. I've had 2 major depressive episodes in my life. After a major car accident with injuries, and when my mother passed. She passed 4 years ago, and I still have to remind myself to do all the little things for me. Do big things when you can, But the little thing, are for you, and more important daily. Don't forget those. It's not a cure...but it is a current that can help you stay on course.

[@LibertasOrationis]

Is this because you have exhausted all medical and psychological treatments?

[@Blahaj07]

You dont always really want to die. You just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. You wanna disappear, not in the way that you would if you never existed. In the way you could with no pain, struggle, or sadness.

[@nielsvanheerde7213]

Yep

[@Mountain_bonker]

there are times where i think about my familys reaction to finding me dead and that is what holds me back

[@trevortatham349]

@@Mountain_bonker that means you have something to live for. And something that should drive you to push forward. I’m in the same boat, I think the same thing. It’s much easier to tell someone else rather than telling yourself. They love you, at the worst time. And you can recognize that. That’s a good start.

[@costelinha1867]

So true, I feel that everyday, mainly when I realize how mediocre I am at my skills compared to established people.

[@ryaksm]

i disagree, the thought of never having even existed in the first place is quite conforting

[@outlawthesecond7597]

The “I imagine you happy” at the end got me tearing up I can’t lie

[@krypbo]

Same 💀. I saw it coming, but still got me crying my eyeballs out. It was truly comforting.

[@kachi3604]

love your profile picture

[@-SteampunkTraveler-]

the pfp so funny lmaooo

[@kieranhully]

Am I tripping or is this a redo of an old video he done? Because I remember him saying the camus quote but he said it differently. I really liked the old one. The camus quote always hits hard

[@outlawthesecond7597]

@@kieranhully i believe it is, since (i think) some of his videos on harsher topics got taken down

[@colourlessfool5107]

As a person who is diagnosed for depression, who is unable to convey ones thoughts, and who feel unmotivated all the time, this is too relatable.

[@poika22]

As a person diagnosed for depression, I can say that being diagnosed for depression just means you paid someone to hold the paper while filling the same questionnaire anyone can google.

[@alexanderthegreat-mx5zu]

I got depression reading this.

[@Maria-yx4se]

ok

[@JasonX909]

@@poika22 Agreed

[@161cjl]

got really bad depression, a generalized anxiety disorder and dpdr :( life is constant agony

[@juanig4198]

i hope you can get your old videos back nad that you can keep the channel running,you have no idea how much they help to ease one's mind

[@lessworkmorejoy]

What happened? Or link to Sisyphus' post explainer? I noticed this video was a repost shortly into it ...

[@SuperMegaWoofer3000]

What happened are they gone? They are really good.

[@erikcool3365]

@@SuperMegaWoofer3000they were deleted or taken off the public view due to a DMCA Strike from using music that was copyrighted. Remember three strikes and you channel is deleted. So out of fear he deleted ones that could be in danger of getting him a strike

[@adamlevine5218]

That hbomberguy video is suddenly playing in the back of my mind 😢

[@NotOmni]

I recognize that my depression is purely my mental health issues. I go from feeling the best to the worst with no warning. Years and years of anguish, suffering in my own mind. I’ve made a career out of explaining my mental health to those that will listen. Have done everything possible to be happy and enjoy myself, even found enlightenment. But regardless will find myself again in the same spiral of dark thoughts. What do you do when you know the answer to your solution, and find out the solution does not exist in the way you’d expect it to. My words constantly swirling around my head, finding myself hoping for something to be there. Knowing that i will never find something. I am happy, for now. I am depressed for now, but neither will last forever. Nor will I, till i take a long blink. (edit typo)

[@CROninja666]

I feel like this too...

[@Farweey]

I feel alike.

[@NinjaHunk]

There is always transistion however small, something triggers something, sometimes we get so caught up in our old rhythm or pattern that we neglect the spaces in between, the silence and rest in between. The moments you take a step back instead of doing, feeling and thinking what you have been doing, the things that have been carving the shape of who you feel like you are. Spirals are just that, spirals even if they are infinite or finite staircases, we can learn to be aware of where we walk and how we feel. and we have the mind to ask ourselves, is this what I want? But that's like asking an apple if it wants to be an apple, you have been shaping yourself for the years you have been alive and "god" knows what you have been given from the generations of people and time that you come from. How do you expect to shape a tree into a closet in a matter of 5 minutes, it takes times steps, trial and error and exploration, daring with all the feelings you got in your pocket. And that means knowing when you overstepped what you can do for that moment, Check in with yourself. your body, it is a circus of signals, it's something to learn to listen to, we expect to be sooo free in the mind to think up anything, but neglect our bodies in that same treatment, our bodies are vessels or connected to that open world mind that you posses. If we get stuck in our head in spirals, imagine what that mind is signaling to the body. Stiff legs, neglected muscle groups from sitting around all day. pain in the neck from all stress build up. If we look at what we are, flesh, water and oxygen, you look at a car and you count the fuel to be a part of it. You're brain, your body, lives off of breathing. It has helped me to start there, to put that as a top priority. Also as a way to help me go to sleep. My breath changes when I am overwhelmed by anxiousness, fear, shame, anger. What is the optimal state of breathing for my brain to handle all the tasks that I set for myself. The better you breath you more you are able to tackle, that means more negativity sometimes and that can be overwhelming. Take a step back, ask yourself the kind questions, how can I lean on myself in this moment, hope for it, cling on to it. imagine your child self clinging on to you, for me that feels cringy and shame tugs at me, but this is a child living it's first live, how would you handle this child frightened shitless. You take YOUR time. and for someone with a lot of self hate, it's hard to give myself that time because there are times that I feel like I don't deserve that time, to rest or whatever. But that's the thing, there is no requirement to rest, if you are tired, guess what, you are tired. You can deny it all you want and come up with all the theories, Or you bridge the gap to your body and listen to what it is telling you, close your eyes. Be quiet to find your rhythm between the noise, and remember that slowing things down is okay, you can slow things down for 5 seconds and then speed it up again, stop after 2 or 20 minutes and slow it down again. steps, intention, love. I tend to still identify a whole lot easier with the dark thoughts (suicidal thoughts). but like I said identify, I put the label "Hey that's me" on those thoughts, meaning I contain the power to change that label or even change the operating system, but that's all stuff that I'm trying to figure out as I choose to continue for now. I hope this might help someone. Thank you for taking your time to write and inspire me to do the same. Thank you.

[@ponpo185]

@NotOmni Solutions never come from outside unfortunately, only inspiration does. My solutions lie in my heart and if I come to them, i know, that only then my outer problems will shine in a new light and thus they eventually will be able to be dealt with. If I don’t know how to deal, nothing will change. Also, isn’t 'answer to solutions' an oxymoron?

[@LibertasOrationis]

What is the solution that does not exist, in the way you expect it to? - are you able to explain a little more, as to what this is, or what you are referring to..

[@coeurcorazon9949]

I remember being fifteen, laying in my bed late at night and staring up at my ceiling. I looked at the window and the light of my neighbor's own window was faintly visible through the blinds. Despair. A deep-rooted static inside of my chest and a heaviness on the outside making it hard to breathe. I remember knowing that this horrible feeling was not new. I knew that I had felt this way for many years. But why I remember that specific night is because I spoke out loud, aiming for a conversation with God. "This isn't normal, is it? I feel horrible and it isn't normal." The feeling of heavy numbness, the static in my chest, the nothingness that is me and what I feel, the terrible inferiority that hasn't left me for a second since I was very young. I've done many things to myself and my body. I've given up on getting better. I have never told anyone but people have found out. People notice how little you eat, people notice the scars on your body, people make light jokes on it. I think they want to start a conversation about it when they do. I see their uncomfortable eyes, their careful laughter. Even the gross old man who hits on me at my work notices it. "it's your eyes, they don't look happy. Are you happy?" I told him no, I have not been happy since I was extremely young. Just yesterday he told me, "I look at you and wonder 'is that little girl happy?'" I ignored him but his words stayed with me. They lingered. An old man that has made comments about my appearance for two years now has no value to me and I will never think nicely of him. . . but even a creepy old man can see my chronic despair? Now I wonder how deeply my friends see through me. Now I wonder why my parents have never said anything. Perhaps the same reason I have never told them anything. I am a barista, I have met a plethora of people and admired the existence of just as many. Some people will never leave my mind. Like the handsome, scholarly-looking, tall and slim gentleman with round glasses who sat down all alone to read The History of the English Middle Class with a leather satchel. He thanked me deeply for the cappuccino I gave him and praised me for its quality before leaving. I have never been so attracted to a stranger ever since. Or the two elderly ladies that had decaf coffee and sat down together to talk about deep things. I was wiping tables when I overheard their conversation. One had not spoken to her family in perhaps a year. She missed her brother who was in the hospital and did not know how to reach out to him because his children were ignoring her calls and texts, making it impossible for her to get into contact with him. The family that still loved her was busy and up north. She left the north to come down here for a better life but had been alone the entire time. She spoke sweetly about the big house and big yard she had before, which she had traded out for something I can only imagine to be empty and dull. My heart ached for her. I could feel her loneliness. And, of course, all of the nervous teenagers with dyed hair and heavy makeup and dark clothes that have tripped over their words while ordering before digging through their pockets for change. Not to forget the tired couples who eat in silence, the angry husbands and wives who argue bitterly with one another and speak with sharp tongues only to treat me with more kindness than they did their spouses their entire visit. And sometimes, with a quiet son or daughter that never looks me in the eye. I'd like to mention the parents that come full of love for their small children. The love they hold and the kindness they bring about them. Fathers that look at their baby daughters with pure love and are unable to stifle a huge grin while scrunching their noses. The mothers that hold their babies close and speak to them with nothing but softness and dulcet tones. The elderly couples that are still as in love as before and it shows through the way they look at each other while talking. I've hated my job before. The weird old men, both customers and co workers that have came and went. I have never felt pretty when the "compliments" come from men my fathers age or older. I've lashed out at a handful for calling me cute or beautiful or told me to smile more because it makes me look pretty. I've crumbled under the pressure of sour customers and felt dizzy after a stressful shift. But at the end of the day, coffee is the most popular drug on earth. All sorts of people come into the cafe. And some of those people have given me exponential hope for my young life. They act however they want because most people do not realize that the young barista looking back at you intently waiting for your order is a real, deep-feeling human being that notices how you are dressed, the tone of voice, your tired eyes, whether or not you say "please" and how you say it and the way you treat the people you are with, if any at all. When she wipes tables she can hear you and see you. She remembers if you come again and depending on how you were last time, she'll make sure to make your coffee very nicely and hope to see you well again. I love my job because it allows me to watch so many people. And human beings, simply by existing, can unscramble the permanent static I feel. I don't know how this turned into a rant about my job but I have lived in a void of exhaustion and melancholy since I was extremely young. I mean around ten years old because I refuse to believe I've been this way since I was seven, even though I think it stems from my homelife at the time of my early years. But even so, the thing that cures me most is human beings. To notice and watch and feel my heart warmed or broken by others that barely acknowledge my existence. Of course, this isn't really a cure. But it keeps me alive.

[@cubingfredriksen1563]

I won't pretend to be able to write as well as you did here (Grammarly helps a lot tho), but have you considered writing in general? I found the whole "essay", if we can call it that, very intriguing. I'm usually not one to read comments longer than a few sentences, but the way you described both the environment as well as your own feelings and thoughts kept me interested all the way through. The conclusion of others as a cure or a solution resonated with me and was articulated very well. In some ways it describes why I keep going: We're meaningless by the very nature of existing, but sometimes others give me the feeling of worth and of subjective meaning (people I interact with or by consuming art made by strangers), I want to give back that feeling meaning to others around me; that is my purpose. I don't know if you'll read this but thank you for sharing your story, got me thinking a lot. Hope you'll have a good day at work tomorrow(or today, depending on the timezone) :)

[@FlushPotato]

⁠@@cubingfredriksen1563 I second this, wonderful writing

[@ivanthaboi]

I'm not really a reader but this story got me captivated. As the other comments have said, you are absolutely amazing at this.

[@Nat-ql8bl]

please never stop writing

[@coeurcorazon9949]

@@cubingfredriksen1563 to you and to the other wonderful souls that have written their sweet supports: Thank you, from the deepest most personal depths of my heart. Writing is my world-- it has been since I was very little. Although this was an unrefined dump of my thoughts, I am unspeakably glad that others enjoyed it. It isn't often I share my writing and even if this was written on a whim, I'm just ecstatic that others think it's nicely written! You see, I want to be a writer. Not a writer, technically I already am one, but a GREAT writer. I wish to move people with my words and make them crave my opinions the way I am so fond of Dostoevsky! One day I will. I am still young, sixteen, and I can't wait to grow older because it means bettering in my writing and having opinions worth listening to. I could go on and on and on about writing but I won't. Just know that you and everyone else who has replied made me very happy.

[@dejahall3500]

I feel like no matter how many people I talk to with depression or even mental health profeesionals, no one will ever understand what I am going through or feeling. It’s feels so isolating and hopeless.

[@evank0385]

yeah… and i think that’s the whole point maybe. like everything’s pointless and hopeless so that’s exactly why we should create meaning and hope for ourselves? idrk, i feel the same way as you though

[@lgngrbr588]

No one will ever know exactly how anyone else feels. We approximate based on our own past experiences, and those experiences, while potentially similar, are still unique to the individual. No matter how effectively anyone communicates, at the end of the day, depressed or not, we are all alone in our heads. That's good though, if you're not alone in your head that's schizophrenia. I hope this is encouraging and not existential.

[@XlightninX]

​@@lgngrbr588 We all come in and leave this world alone, in between we are presented with scenes that might suggest otherwise. But in the end no matter how loved or cherished, we are still alone. It may be one of the few things we can truly relate in, nobody is exempt from the fundamental solitude of existence. If one feels otherwise they've done a better job distracting themselves from this fact, whether one should is when opinion enters the conversation.

[@ZERARCHIVE2023]

@@XlightninX You came to this world alone ? Yeah nah I knew it we were generated by the matrice

[@iHandleNasdaq]

Trust me bro, I understand what you're going through. I've been going through such a severe level of torture in my brain at first I thought NO WAY this could just be depression and anxiety. I was going to the emergency rooms and seeing doctors left and right because I thought my brain might have literally been melting or on the verge of exploding or that I had dementia or some unknown illness. Turns out depression really could be that severe. I didn't know it was possible for a human to go through as much mental torture as I did, yet here I am. It does feel isolating and hopeless, but just know you aren't alone and we WILL get through this even though right now even my own brain doesn't believe it. I don't care, I'm fighting my own brain.

[@TakeltEZ]

Hey man, please never stop your work on youtube. you've gotten me through some dark times with your videos. being able to reference the actual material has made me aware of the fact that i love different philopshies and it's made my life so much better. Much love, friend

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@bunsenn5064]

I am constantly aware that my depression is entirely confined to my own perception. That wouldn’t be such an issue if my perception didn’t dictate my entire experience of reality as I know it. It just sucks, nothing more, nothing less.

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@LibertasOrationis]

Do you believe that depression is entirely in the mind, or is there a physical component to it?

[@poika22]

Great job saying absolutely nothing.

[@pokerface4872]

@@LostSoulchild89any results?

[@sylokthedefiled]

@@LibertasOrationisi would say it can be both. it can be environmental, but it can also be mental. cause sometimes you can have the best situation and have the best life but even then you’re still depressed. that’s why a lot of people need to get therapy for their chronic depression or get medicated to help them with it

[@Craxxet]

"However disabused one may be, it is impossible to live without any hope at all. We always keep one, unwittingly, and this unconscious hope makes up for all the explicit others we have rejected, exhausted." - Emil Cioran

[@LibertasOrationis]

Do you think that you can live with a reason other than hope? - hope can seem too positive sometimes..

[@krypbo]

​@@LibertasOrationisDon't make the mistake of categorizing hope into something positive. Hope per se is a natural motive for every human being. It is what allows us to cope with the absurdity and futility of existence. It does not have to be correlated with optimism. Getting up every day, making the unconscious decision to continue with your life, breathing, doing your daily chores, all of that, in essence, is hoping. Enjoying meaninglessness, in the midst of turbulence, relieves the pain of depression. That is to hope, not for a solution, but rather that the mystery of life motivates us to accept the fragility of our time on earth. Hope is the act of continue with one's life.

[@tau-5794]

I don't have much in the way of concrete goals, and it's hard to feel truly satisfied with things that once made me happy and occupied most of my day. But I think somewhere deep down there is hope. I hope to start a family one day, it's important to me, I want my parents to have grandkids they can enjoy the company of as they age, and no matter how unrealistic it might seem or how far away I am from fulfilling that hope, I won't give up on my life just yet. All for that vague hope of not dying alone.

[@Human-san]

​​@@LibertasOrationis "hope" in this case is more like "lack of certainty in despair"

[@XlightninX]

@@krypbo Life is a fundamentally hopeless endeavor, to act otherwise is paradoxical and will inevitably lead to suffering.

[@Hison-Dcarman]

I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with bipolar. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.

[@HxuxjXixid]

I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.

[@ErnestoHorner88]

Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

[@DonnDenisse]

YES sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@canerbakar-jv2si]

I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.

[@AlexanderMales-gh8bm]

Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google

[@A_Lazy_Mutt]

Marcel's view on how depression is treated in modernity perfectly encapsulates the issues I have with modern psychology. Depression isn't a problem we need to solve, but rather a condition we must overcome.

[@nickroland4610]

20 years of untreated, chronic depression here. This was the best video on depression I've seen in youtube. Thank you for your efforts.

[@gen-zeke-8571]

I attract to absurdity because of the irony. I called, "The Tsunami Effect of Paradise", where you can be sitting on a beautiful beach somewhere and your old life leaves because of something nature does. I wonder if there's an ironic heaven to a 30-foot wave.

[@gur262]

It's 6:24 in the morning. I'm about to go to the gym. I failed to do basic tasks despite plenty time 5 consecutive days. Washing machine still broken, dishes pile up. But i am going to the gym. Im eating the protein. I'm strong. It's at least something.

[@idrather7953]

One step at a time man. Just keep going.

[@zoinmcfatty7268]

Doing 0.00001 percent of the things you know you should do will make you grow unlimited times more than doing 0% No matter how small the growth it is worth a lot And it is ok to have days where you do 0% just try to remember that

[@Jack-ft1rb]

Just. Keep. Going. You will break on through.

[@IlIlIlIlIlIlIllIlIII]

Depression has been such a mysterious condition for such a long time, and it's only in the last 20 or so years we've finally begun figuring some major aspects of it out from a scientific standpoint. It's also the single most misunderstood condition among regular people (perhaps alongside migraine). The most important misconception people have is that depression makes one sad, when in fact it most often does the opposite. It removes sadness as much as it removes happiness. It flattens out the regular emotional curvature entirely, causing a melancholic middleground of nothingness. That's why most patients tend to have an "Aha moment" when I ask them if their depression isn't comfortable at points, especially during the first few days or weeks of a relapse. It's as if patients don't want to admit that it is because they've been told they shouldn't feel like that, but the void of emotions can be a real good break from an overwhelming life, at least for a short time. I know it is for me. Another aspect of depression that is rarely mentioned is how much it affects one's memory. Few patients remember much from their bouts, even when they last for several years. Time just passed, they say, and while they remember certain events having happened, they remember little from them. I was depressed for about 5-6 years, and that part of my life is a complete void. Finally I want to add that the healthy life really works. Eat well, train well, sleep well and stimulate your mind well.

[@_malo_mart]

i feel like SO FEW people talk about the cognitive decline and memory aspect of it, i cannot remember FUCKING ANYTHING until days later, if i even remind myself at all. i forget how long ago things happened or what even happened, like when meeting up with friends. and oh my god, depression has made me into a gargantuan moron, my mind has turned into a 90s computer trying to load up a webpage anytime i have a single complex thought lol. i quite literally feel “slow” when i know for a fact i didn’t feel this way a few years ago when i was actually a dumb young kid

[@Orlando-qj7bh]

the memory aspect is very interesting. my therapist explained it to me that we remember through our emotions, and depressions numbs everything so everything feels the same and thus we can't really remember much that happened.

[@player111q7]

@@_malo_mart I can relate to this so much, especially when it comes to memory.

[@_malo_mart]

@@player111q7 i really wish depression was researched more/ more (openly) talked about. i feel like people with depression are so often misunderstood and made out to be a lazy when the reality is a lot more complicated :(

[@seayeraa]

@@Orlando-qj7bhThanks for sharing, this is something i’ve thought about for a while and i thought it might have just been me. Super cool and interesting thanks! 👍

[@Ufoolin]

I have been living in delusions for the past 3 years this has pushed me into a deep depression I’ve always been depressed to an extent but even with medication it feels almost unbearable and investing all my energy into pretending to be ok just drains me even more , thank u for the video :)

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@LibertasOrationis]

How would you explain the way a delusion feels?

[@Ufoolin]

@@LibertasOrationis like reality but it’s not

[@LibertasOrationis]

@@Ufoolin Is it normally visual, where you might see something that is not there? - like a fleeting glance out of the corner of your eye, or like seeing bugs on a wall, or seeing a person you can talk to right in front of you.. kind of like that.. Or auditory where you might hear music, or indistinguishable voices, or actually someone speaking clearly to you.. What about smell or taste?

[@thenightwatchman1598]

is it delusion. or the spirits trying to reach out to help?

[@_shadow_1]

I was so fatigued and depressed all of the time, the medication (SSRI) only made the lack of motivation and the ability to do undesirable tasks worse so I knew it had a cause which the medication didn't address. I took a long look at my life and realized that some of the things didn't quite line up with one off depression (MDD). After much self reflection and looking up alternative conditions which can cause depression or depression like symptoms, I came to the conclusion that the root cause was actually unaddressed ADHD of the inattentive variety and that the "depression" was actually a manifestation of intense burnout as a result of attempting to take on life without having any useful skills to cope with it or any medication to help with the brunt of the stress caused by it. I believe that a large amount of those with "treatment resistant depression" could have another issue entirely such as ADHD, PTSD, ASD, vitamin deficiencies, undiagnosed sleep issues or any number of other things that cause intense stress on the mind or body. The fact that so many people get stopped at "you just got really severe depression" is a unacceptable. If the traditional treatment doesn't work there is almost always another issue.

[@muu1589]

I Just tried shrooms for the first time last night, I've done acid and dippers, but shrooms was great, had me happy and let me almost create my reality in and unatural way if you know what I mean.

[@popkanchinlobos9634]

I do 3.5 g of mushrooms every 6 months to reboot my brain.

[@morgancr1993]

After my trip yesterday, I did understand why mushrooms are praised... you can have some beautiful experiences on them..

[@uncle-nice6556]

Hello! It appears I have interests, I want to get some.. where do you get from?

[@morgancr1993]

medicgael

[@morgancr1993]

ᵒⁿ ᵗⁱᵏᵒᵏ ᵃⁿᵈ

[@juno.ingman]

I've had depression since I was 9 and got diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) at 12, I think the worst part of it (for me) would be not knowing why you truly are sad. You just are.

[@everywone6715]

I just bawled to this. You managed to put into words what I couldn't for a long time, aswell as that contrivance i think we all possess that pushes us onward. Beautiful video, I never write this, and say it with all my heart, that your work and introduction to Camus saved my life. Thank you.

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@justsomerandomguy6156]

When the world needed him the most, he came back. Welcome back sisyphus

[@zomdiehunter115]

For me a man who is medicated for his depression but just enough to alleviate the problems that it causes it. It is like an old friend that is there to sit you down to tell you how the world is constantly cleaning the windows that you see out of while at the same time showing me the dirt and grime of the world showing me how overall it can be beautiful if only I take the risk of looking blindly while at the same time warning me against such actions

[@diegomo1413]

One of my greatest sources of despair is the fact that I’ve yet to find romantic love in my 31 years. I don’t really feel optimistic that I will ever find it and I don’t dare hope that I ever will. What keeps me going is the hope that whether I find love or not, I will feel happy and content with myself in the end, whenever that may be. Love seems like a beautiful, life changing thing, but there is a lot more to life than love and I hope I never forget that.

[@nobodyyouwouldwanyyoknow]

Very recently, I lost one of my close friends to suicide. He was very sweet, kind, and caring. He was the type of guy who didn't have enemies, and some might have even called him an NPC. But in truth, he never spoke poorly of his family, his past, or anything at all. He never brought up his feelings or emotions, no matter how much he struggled. Looking back now, I realize how bad we were as friends to him. We were scared to cross the line, afraid of overstepping boundaries or doing something wrong. But if I could tell someone anything, it's this: if you feel that your friend might be suicidal, don't be afraid to cross the line. Comfort them, even if they don’t ask for it. Just because we were always so careful about his comfort, he probably felt incredibly alone. You don't know how much a few words can change the course of action. He was one of my closest friends, and now that he's gone, I realize I knew nothing about him. In hindsight, it was obvious to me that he was deeply traumatized by something from his past. But I fear he didn’t have a sense of self either-no real personality. He didn’t have preferences for anything. Everything was always "fine" to him. Nothing mattered to him except his family… oh dear. It’s really heartbreaking. He didn’t talk much about his family, but when he did, you could see how fond he was of them. He sent all his scholarship money and salary from his part-time job to them. He was just so kind and calm. I could spend hours recalling every little thing about him. It’s still hard to accept that he's really gone. To be honest, I fear my mind hasn't processed this yet. I keep thinking that he's still out there somewhere, happy. He did so much for his family, especially since he came from a very poor background. He joined various clubs in college, hoping to make a name for himself. He had a bad habit of smoking when he was feeling down or in crisis. He’d just say, "It’s fine. I just have this bad habit." It’s funny how you notice so many little things about a person only when they’re gone. I say "funny," but really, it’s painful. It hurts so much that I can't even describe it-it feels like someone’s stabbed me in the heart and keeps twisting the knife with every detail, every moment I recall about him. He left a note before he died. It read, "Sorry for being selfish. You’ll understand one day. Just keep going." Writing this hurts me so much. I still don’t understand, even now. He was just so unique, so different from this world, that maybe it couldn’t keep him. He was my close friend, and yet every day I learn something new about him. I keep trying to understand every choice he made. What was he thinking? What was going on in his head? Please, be caring. Always ask your loved ones if they’re okay. And if you’re thinking about taking your own life, please don’t. You are not alone. There are people who love and care for you. Remember them, and don’t leave them behind.

[@whirlingincosmos]

I didn’t think I’d have my thoughts portrayed through these videos… Thank you for your videos, they provided a great source of solace in my darkest times. I’ve struggled with depression since I was 12 and this video accurately depicts what it’s like to live a life full of dread, emptiness and sadness. Thank you for giving words to our depression and validating our experience.

[@flimx2826]

As someone who has delt with an exsessivly long deppressive episode for almost a year now. this accuartly depects every aspect of what it's like with a life full of dread and sadness. thank you for putting this out there and saying exacly what people who deal with deppression into words they cant.

[@hel2727]

that must've been terrible. I'm not sure if I'm morbidly surprised or devastated that I'm still here but for me it's been 7 years. it has rarely been pleasant but, somehow I kept going and I hope you can, too.

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@LibertasOrationis]

Would you say you were not depressed before this episode? - or do you think it was always there, constantly under the surface all the time..

[@poika22]

Under a year isn't "excessively long". "Excessively long" would be measured in decades. Your problems may be real, but there's nothing unusual about depression lasting "almost a year".

[@flimx2826]

@@LibertasOrationis I've had a rough chlidhood, deppression always kinda followed me

[@Literallyjustmint]

As someone who is suicidal because of existential depression, this video brought me to tears. I'm not sure it helped, but maybe... "I imagine you happy." Wow. Great video. Update (3 months after posting the original comment): I think it has actually gotten better. I've begun seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. It's a dim one, but it's something. This is exciting as I haven't felt this in at least 3 years. :)

[@Gareth167]

I hope you feel better eventually.

[@Literallyjustmint]

@@Gareth167 Thank you.

[@StinkySewerRat103]

Please don’t die. Hope your well

[@hihowru342]

Hope you’re doing good my friend ❤

[@cams_6388]

Hey! Im glad u got a little better

[@janbelcher1896]

Have been living with depression for most my life. A few months ago, after a brief period of mania, it came back so bad i started experiencing psychotic symptoms. They've not gone away. But now i'm no longer scared of livning, i'm just scared of the voices coming back.

[@scribbleloops]

Hey man, I just want to let you know that I appreciate you. In my lowest of times, I've listened to a ton of your videos in hopes for some insight, or at least the feeling of mild relief of knowing that I'm not alone in this. I've somewhat gotten both from your videos and reading through the comments (imagine seeing a non-cancerous comment section for a change). I'm doing better now after getting some "answers" to my worries, and I find myself going back to your vids just to learn or listen. Thank you for making these videos!

[@akif1633]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🌅 Introduction to Depression - Overview of experiencing depression and its initial impact on daily life. - Describing the rift between one's former and present self. - The challenge of communicating feelings and the unnoticed symptoms of depression. 02:03 🧠 Understanding Depression: Causes and Characteristics - Distinction between depression as a mood and a full-fledged disorder. - Exploration of the complex causes, including genetic factors and brain structure. - Highlighting the persistent nature of depressive symptoms over an extended period. 03:23 🧬 Genetics, Evolution, and Depression - Insight into the genetic factors contributing to sustained despair. - Connection between certain genes associated with depression and inflammatory properties. - Evolutionary perspective suggesting depression may have survival benefits. 04:36 💔 Uncovering the Unidentified Stressors - Difficulty in identifying specific causes of depression. - Mention of universal issues, such as the lack of meaning or projecting despair onto broader conflicts. - Therapist's role in helping patients confront uncomfortable points of contention. 06:14 🤔 Philosophizing Over Depression: Is It Necessary? - Addressing the question of the value of philosophical contemplation of depression. - Acknowledging the potential merging of depression with avenues of genius. - Exploring the concept of "depressive realism" and its impact on perceptions. 07:09 🌌 Existential Dilemmas and Psychotherapy - Introduction to classic existential dilemmas: death, freedom, understanding, and meaninglessness. - Overview of existential psychotherapy as a response to the irresolvable observations. - Emphasis on living a good life amidst existential challenges. 09:39 🔄 Absurdism and the Role of Hope - Explanation of Absurdism and the disharmony between human striving and the universe. - Camus's perspective on hope as a hindrance to living a good life. - Embracing the Absurd as a means to find meaning in the present. 13:59 🤞 Marcel's Strange Hope and Mysteries of Existence - Marcel's distinction between problem and mystery in the quest for significance. - Advocacy for a strange hope directed towards the possibilities inherent in the present. - Emphasis on patience and acceptance of the mysterious nature of being. 15:04 🤷 Living Beyond Hope: The Absurd and Life's Absurdities - Acknowledgment of the insolubility of life's most important problems. - Recognizing the ability to outgrow problems rather than solving them. - Encouragement to live, experience, and find joy despite existential uncertainties. 16:39 🚫 Caution against Overintellectualizing Depression - Caution against overintellectualizing and sacrificing the experience of life. - Encouragement to seek professional help and available resources for depression. - Acknowledging the limitations of philosophy in providing a medicinal solution.

[@FrappuccinoAlfredo]

Ah yes, how human.

[@MSHNKTRL]

* Camus , not Kamu

[@zenmaster16]

For me, depression is like an underlying, persistent sadness that underlies life. I still have fun and have moments of great happiness, but eventually it has to end and then the sadness returns. It’s like coming home at the end of the day. You can go out and have fun, but you’ll always come home to the same hopelessness. Luckily I’ve been doing great with a mixture of medication, self-therapy, and lifestyle changes. There’s always hope.

[@yqhlr]

im a 19 year old guy. i’ve had depression for as long as i can remember. maybe even during 5th or 6th grade. depression is a very difficult subject since i’ve personally had days or weeks where i felt fine or felt worse or even felt cleansed. now that im older, it’s like it never fluctuates anymore, it’s in a constant state of feeling down or feeling low or even just wanting to harm myself. yesterday was one of the first times ive actually harmed myself. i felt so horrible afterward because i didn’t know why i did it or why i felt the need to. i’m hoping to speak to a therapist very soon and get the help i need. if you’ve read this far i wanna say thank you for listening to my ramble. have a blessed day 🫶🏽

[@sylokthedefiled]

i’m sorry you’re suffering from this. i hope you can get the therapy you need. this illness sucks and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone

[@zoinmcfatty7268]

I hope you can get help for what you are going through. You deserve better, nobody deserves depression. Stay strong and have hope.

[@Salvage5681]

I recently hurt myself too and have been going to a therapist for a little while. Only real hope I have for life is to one day meet my girlfriend, we both have a lot of stuff wrong with us and the people around us but she's the support that I trust the most and I hope every day we can have a life together when I can move

[@yqhlr]

@@Salvage5681 how old are you? it seems like the both of you are dealing with a lot and honestly, i can relate to it on some degree. i have regrets which i wouldn’t want you to have either

[@Salvage5681]

@@yqhlr We're both 15

[@persephone8950]

I’ve had depression since around 2nd grade maybe and started have suicidal thoughts at like 3rd grade, and its also at this age that my insomnia had become worse and thoughts of harming myself started at 4/5th grade till I made the smallest scab at late 7th grade early 8th, to then doing the worst cuts that turned out as keloid scars in early 9th grade until my mom found them and threatened me if I did it again. I’m now gonna go to 10th grade and today I feel, better than usual strangely enough. Most days everything feels numb and I don’t have an emotion or I feel so sad I think I wont be alive at the end of the month or next morning, and today I feel alleviated. Not sad or depressed, but not ecstatic or happy, or either numb and nothing, I just feel my existence existing as a heavy weight and my body is all warm and I can feel the nerves and muscles in my hands more than usual. I cried a bit today after my shower thinking about times my mom yelled at me when I was 4-7 with words that still stuck to me today 11-8 years later, stressed and felt immense guilt for missing school today when I missed yesterday, watched some cat videos with my mom and laughed, talk to my friend and played video games with my boyfriend (whom I hate), thought about death again, and yet with how this day would easily make it a bad day for many people yet this is perhaps one of my better days. Everything passes, happiness and sadness, even for a moment, it passes. It always ends as it comes back and tomorrow could probably be one of my usual days which feel far worse than yesterday felt, though it’ll pass away. I think im no longer abled to be cured, just managed with. I think I have a more severe form of depression, and im pretty sure I have bpd, yet who knows? Today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow, yesterday was yesterday, and in the future I’ll be dead sooner or later yet not so far away

[@BabyDigi]

They say pain is temporary, but I feel pain that’s never gonna go away , even in my happiest moments ..

[@skehleben7699]

I've suffered with bipolar 2 my whole life. A few days of blissful hypo mania interspersed with depression so dark and slow I can't honestly explain it.

[@RecoveryTrauma]

sorry

[@domosterd]

the worst is that because i'm able to explain and rationalize my emotions, regular people and even professionals assume i am okay, but when voicing how i still cant cope with said emotions, they go back to "identifying the emotion" type exercises.

[@LibertasOrationis]

The biggest mistake in mental health; is the inability to differentiate between what's in the mind, vs what is actually a physical disfunction..

[@redfromberk]

exactly.

[@limon.tagetes]

THIS HAPPENS TO MORE PEOPLE???? OMG OMG This is my situation 99% of the time. The only thing doctors know how to do is to "help you know what is happening and why", but when you already know that, when you already unwraped it and knnow every inch of the problem they just cant do anything anymore. Even if it still hurts as much as it did at the start they cant really help you with all this feeling better thing. Understanding doesnt mean I feel better about it or that I can just fix it.

[@veniceismine1]

I’ve found that the greatest antidote for the listless and absurd existential depression I sometimes find myself in is to do things which negate my focus on myself. That cause a short period of the obliteration of myself. And I don’t mean through drugs or alcohol, I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work well for me. It’s by putting myself in a position to serve others selflessly. With no expectation of anything in return. It doesn’t work forever, as in it’s not a one and done sort of cure. But whenever I find myself in that place emotionally, I help someone else. And it usually is abated until the next time it pops up.

[@ZealousWins]

Does anyone else get that feeling of their emotion senses being turned down by 93%? As in, you only feel such emotions as estacy or, more prominently, anger or irritability, but otherwise feel almost nothing else.

[@LibertasOrationis]

Yes, I believe it is called Anhedonia.. do you think that happened over time, or just all of a sudden?

[@ideallyjekyl5200]

Alexithymia my man it sucks

[@randomisedrandomness]

Back when I was depressed, yes. I realised I was not able to feel sadness. Despair, pain, anger, overall repulsion towards anything good yes, but not sadness. Then certain thing made me very sad about certain events in my past to the point of crying and it made me feel much better. If you are sad that means you value something, if you are depressed you value nothing. So being sad is a much better state than depression, it's a healthy reaction to negative events. Later I read Mouring and Melancholia by Sigmund Freud and I think he described precisely that phenomenon. It would mean that depression is some form of negativity turned inward as opposed to finding a proper natural outlet.

[@ZealousWins]

@@LibertasOrationis I think it began happening within the last 2½ years or so. Some spells of feeling numb, or what I am convinced of now, spells of depression, and then they'd go away. I've looked this up, and I think it's something deeper than a simple burnout. So I don't know if anhedonia is the condition I'm facing.

[@ZealousWins]

@@ideallyjekyl5200 Yeah, I think it does... I'm not 100% certain about what diagnosis I face at the moment. But nonetheless, it's not fun. I really cannot find emotional sense in much of anything right now. I have a feeling this diagnosis is more likely what I have, because of one condition I know I have and another I suspect I have.

[@alexanderjerez2787]

"Over intellectualizing can imprison someone into a life of contemplative unhappiness; sacrificing one's few breaths on Earth for a chance for some higher order truth" 15:50 This hit close to home for me, people can spend hours going back amd forth in theor minds for answers that we wont get, no matter how hard you try. And fighting it will only bring your life into a pit and youll end up feeling unsatisfied at the end.

[@MONARCH_FLIES]

This is, once again, a smashingly great video, narrating with such clarity what I feel I’ve discovered but never knew how to say. One thing I’m unsure of, though, is the idea that depressed people see a truer reality than others. I understand how we can see “more” than other people can, since we are so ungenerously plunged into despair far deeper than shallow everyday life. However, as someone who’s been diagnosed with depression, my experience has been depression actually clouding my reality and making it harder to see. Basically, by attacking my ego (feeling self-hatred, self-pity, etc) I saw the world and myself in a warped way, whereas where I was feeling more neutral I felt as if I could percieve clearly.

[@tinki2856]

I agree. Also because memory gets really clouded/bad

[@VA_Ann]

Wow, this really made me pause. It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget that sometimes what we're feeling is bigger than just a bad day at work. I think the part about hope being both a necessity and a trap really hit me. Definitely food for thought.

[@taljr07470]

Thank you so much for your efforts. I return here often because of your sincere attempts to understand your place in this utterly absurd existence or whatever we chose call it. For me, feeling the dread means I’m on bleeding edge of my reality, so close to being overwhelmed but so very present too. I tell myself daily that “nobody is coming to save me” and then consume some quality espresso and carry on. We should all hold our heads high here for leading the “ examined life.”

[@leeah7743]

I've gotten through the worst of my depression and existentialism somehow without ever watching this video but it hits all things that I went through (especially the existentialism) and it gives me a lot of comfort to know there are others out there that can understand exactly what it feels like. wonderful job on the video mate.

[@TheRealMrMustache]

15:22 love how David Hume was depressed after thinking alone for so long, then after he chilled with the boys he basically laughed it off

[@evank0385]

i know, this is fascinating to me as it mirrors my own experiences sometimes

[@waedjradi]

This is one of the few channels that gets me, without the need of knowing who I am. Such a boring, monotonous, simplistic way of art that holds zero direction of not knowing where it'll end up. Which is why I have been checking up on this channel for the last 5 plus years. Keep it up, dude. Keep it up.

[@vidjai8648]

This was what I needed. I have to learn to take care of myself to be able to see feel the better, strongest things in life. Thank you.

[@loopooillohg]

i have had terrible depression, on and off, since i was about 15-16. my older half-brother died from a heroin overdose, i should have died multiple times while i was a proper drug addict, and my little brother commited suicide. depression is no joke and genuinely can destroy you internally, even if your general upbringing and life wasnt the worst by any stretch and you come from a relatively well off family. it can just kill all of your motivation, your goals dissapear, there are points of time where i literally consider just commiting some crime so i can go sit in a jail cell and rot for the rest of my life but then i think and realise that then id be stuck with just my thoughts and id end up wanting to zero myself anyway. something i would never be able to do after my little brother and seeing the effect it had on my family. i couldnt put them through something like that again it was too painful. anyway i shared this video with my sister, people who havent been through it understand but those who havent find it very hard to understand how its different from just sadness or grieving. this video represents my thoughts and feelings quite well. some of the stuff that really sucks about it is how i know i have a problem, i am severely depressed, im doing the things that are recommended by doctors etc for myself to do but it hasnt been improving yet, i know it will eventually, but before then i still blame myself for these issues. i still think how big a burden i am on everyone, how i can see how my family love me but i dont feel like i deserve it, that i am a complete and utter failure and will never move on from where i am now. even though i can look at some of that and say it is objectively false, my brain will still tell me otherwise.

[@LibertasOrationis]

Hypothetically at what point would you say; I have no more faith in the medical profession, and it doesn't matter what consequences, I will do whatever it takes to resolve my problems - no matter how fringe the treatment is, or how little you believe it will ever work.. like a diet, supplements or herbs, etc.. I mean we put out trust in the medical field, but they have no answers; and some of the treatments can be downright dangerous anyway.. like ECT or Deep brain stimulation..

[@retroscenery]

Thank you for reuploading this video. It’s one of the best on depression I’ve ever seen.

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@pyar9134]

I'm not even 30 secs deep and the past 4 years just immediately replayed in my mind

[@natthesilly]

I love watching these before bed, they help me not freak out as much and give a sense of calm that isn’t numbness. your videos and comment sections feel so safe, thank you

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@yourfriendkota]

Been diagnosed with bipolar since I was a teen. Nearly ten years deep into my diagnosis and I couldn’t have summarized the sensation as well as you did in the first minute.

[@ahose0402]

another great video syphilis!

[@meli8005]

The part about seeing depression as a mystery rather than a problem made me rethink on how I see my own depression. Rather than wanting a single solution, I might think about depression as a curious search of what could be, even if it's less optimistocally. But that "to hope" is what im going to carry with me - that I'm going to be looking at what happens next.

[@Scanixon]

It's scary how on time most of your videos are

[@dunsbroccoli2588]

Nah u just always depressed, b

[@Scanixon]

@@dunsbroccoli2588 you didn't have to expose me like that

[@cser12]

yea

[@yeahright3901]

not its not, he talks about things people presumably like you experience chronically/daily, it could be 10 days from now or 10 years from now and his post would be "on time" for you

[@liltick102]

It’s scarier how we all feel that way, maybe. Idk. Maybe not.

[@Dracoboss98]

The quote from David Hume really gets me by the balls. I pass a bong around with my coworkers and suddenly I realize how absolutely melodramatic I am, not stopping to enjoy the small moments of life. If your entire paradigm is based on goals you’ve yet to meet, you’ll never be happy.

[@ebunny1652]

one of my favourite videos of yours. it feels kind of like a culmination of a lot of your thought and work in one concise and, in a sense, meaningful video. this is also one of the rare things I've come across in life so far that I feel kind of "get it". or maybe a better way to put that is that I feel like this does a very good job of communicating and explaining a lot of the things I've thought about and struggled with, often feeling misunderstood and isolated. of course this is stuff one could think and talk about for days, if not one's entire life. for example I've always experienced a lot of friction between this "depressive realism" and the absurdity of our society and daily life in it. I feel like our societies are built on illusions like the idea that things matter or have meaning or that free will exists or that objective morality exists, yet as a collective we generally kind of take these things for granted as fundamental truths (even if individually people may think differently). and I could keep going for a while, but it feels kind of pointless for me to continue. thanks a lot Sisyphus

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@Anita49-s1c]

you can't really think of living your life during depression like no progress for your self but when you get better from it you just magically have plans and start improving yourself than you normally do its just weird and i just got better out of no where too

[@Anita49-s1c]

@RichardHenderson-jp2td ?

[@rorolonglegs4594]

Oh thankyou so much for reuploading, the original has helped me immensely with my depression

[@morganspaceburger1253]

this made my cry, especially the last couple of minutes. thank you.

[@bluebrain-l6n]

I want to thank you for potentially saving my life. It is tough to get going everyday unless there is an understanding with self, that all is well as it is. It is tough to go on without intellectualizing the struggle of existence. At a point in time, I was tired of studying philosophy as a cure for my depression...for I thought the universe had rolled a wicked dice and here I am with clinical depression and ADD. But your videos have eased my pain. I want you to know that while you might not convince someone to live, you are raising the right questions, referring to human experiences that are not taught in school and that might just get someone to breathe. That whatever this is, is a lot more than labels and prescriptions and report cards and failed projects and lost relationships, even if it isn't. The hope that there still might be something to salvage is a crutch that bores a hole under my shoulder with every passing day, but hey, I am sure the end is worth the pain. That I persevered and didn't let go. You haven't convinced me to find happiness in the pain but you have helped me breathe in this smoggy exisistence.

[@bowreed]

How are you doing now?

[@FloppyFeet2]

I have had depression for over 5 years. I’m 19 and I have not lived my life. I recently started a medication that temporarily made me feel like myself again. I didn’t struggle to talk to people. I didn’t struggle to enjoy things. I didn’t struggle to take care of myself. I wish it had lasted longer. I’m afraid it will never come back. I’ve found myself back in my hole after flying through the sky. Now I just watch it pass from my pit, hoping I can fly again

[@insanitynears]

As a person with medication-resistant depression, I see this as an absolute win.

[@Fuzznator]

Medication resistant depression.. medication is shit yeah a fucking pill will resolve your shitty life. Not to be an asshole but im sick of psychiatry

[@acegikm]

This is the only video on depression I've seen that will probably help me. Giving up hope isn't going to make someone less depressed since depression is a state of hopelessness. The happy people I know do seem to have some general hope for life that keeps them going.

[@FloatingInZeroG]

There was a six-ish month period where I was certain I would be gone within the next couple years. While I know my depression wasn't as severe as it could've been, and I was quite lucky to be able to recover somewhat, I can say, that as someone who's made it out of the other end of the tunnel, Depression changed who I am on a fundamental level. There are still many days where I'm not actually sure I'm actually better, I consistently sleep in just to avoid having to struggle through another day and go through long hours of nothing. I still cry a lot, except now I can barely identify the reason. Sometimes, while I don't feel really feel sad like I used to, I still feel so tired under the simple weight of knowing. My empathy is much more acute of other's suffering. I am very aware of my friend's continued depression and how I can do little to help them. I constantly have a voice in the back of my head that still wants to drag down the good I've managed to find. Oftentimes, it feels like my brain is permanently broken, and all I can do is learn to be okay with that. I kind of miss the feeling of irresponsibility that came with thinking I'm gonna die. Thing's are genuinely better. I'm enjoying some of my hobbies again, and much more consistently. I have more friends and better relationships. My self esteem is leagues better then it was before I'm doing much better, and even if part of me will never quite heal over, sometimes, occasionally, I'm okay with that

[@alhawkex]

Wanted to share that I’m going through the same thing, Long story short I’ve had such rapid changes in life that I struggle to recognize my self even 3 years ago. It’s scary that i have folks tell me “oh you used to be like x and y! Now you’re not” And I can’t explain it to them, ofcourse I’m more sad, my entire basis of existence was shattered and I’ve had to deal with this alone ontop of outside problems that have been more intense than I have ever experienced. With all of that being said, I don’t think I’d have it any other way? I’m more peaceful. I get anxiety at times, sure, I get agitated, but when the cards are down, I’m at peace. I don’t smile as much, I don’t joke as much, nor do I even enjoy anything as much, but I still care for people, I still make others feel safe and secure and that’s not even my goal. My goal every day it is to get through it, if I’m in bed at what ever time, and I’m still in one piece, I’ve won. I used to want money, power, respect, admiration, now I just want to be left alone.

[@ellasoul]

I have suffered with horrible anxiety and depression since I can remember. Diagnosed as such for almost a decade now, along with ptsd and other such mental illnesses. I never really saw a life for myself. I always thought I would die around the age of 16, and I almost did. It got to a point where I had to beg to be hospitalized because I was so scared. I was going to die at the hands of myself, when I didn’t actually want to. I was just scared of living, scared of the reality that I had been experiencing and in a lot of pain without being able to truly understand why. Being hospitalized led to getting a therapist and that led to 3 years of almost nothing but working on myself, pulling myself out of the hole I created in survival mode and being put in a position of figuring out what I want this life to mean to me. What living is and who I am. Big questions, right? Big things I don’t think we ever really fully understand. We are ever changing and growing and I am not the same person today as I was yesterday. There is a lot of uncertainty in almost every aspect of this world, it’s overwhelming and understandably so. Sometimes it is better to be able to take a break from those big questions, and instead focus on what there is in the present. when you are given a chance to see things from an alternate perspective, it can curate new hope for the little things, and it truly saved me. I didn’t think I was going to make it out of the darkness. I’m 20 now and I’m going to college after a gap year and I’m slowly finding myself and healing and everything is different!!! There are still hard days but there is so much beauty to be found within all of the unknown that we fear and loathe for lack of understanding. The absurdity of things is magical sometimes, if you let it be. There is truth in the idea that the meaning of living and being human is to love and be loved. Simple. To appreciate what is around us and who we are, even if we don’t know what it is but a feeling or an energy. To be kind and to find community. We are Created from the stars the same way the trees and the grass and the water are. Everything is connected!! Allow curiosity to overcome the fear. What is there to do next? Who am I going to be later, who do I want to be now? I didn’t think I was ever going to feel true unbridled happiness again. I now can say I have and I do!! Of course I’ve had a lot of help through medication and extensive therapy but All of this is jumbled together and rambly just to say that there is always a way to find peace and balance within yourself, even if you can’t see it right now. Trust me. Allow the emotions to be felt, but also allow yourself to let them go after they’re acknowledged. There can be hope along with the pain, it is never truly black and white. I hope anyone who is struggling will someday be able to feel the sunshine and take a breath without feeling such a heavy weight. I believe it is possible. I am proof it is possible!! You are always on a journey. Ride the wave. It doesn’t feel like this forever ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 you are loved always and I wish nothing more but for you to find that love within yourself as well 💓💕🌟 I hope that made sense, lol. Sorry if it got a bit confusing I just started yapping

[@HeydarBABA]

Watching this video didn't cure my depression, but it let me know that I will always have hope.

[@mindriot69]

Fantastic video. I’ve been dealing with depression (amongst other things) all my life. I’m 60 now and the only thing that has changed (regarding my depression) is my understanding of it. Even understanding it better I still always revert back to the same coping mechanisms I’ve always used… One of which is that generic hope that you reference… and even when I am in the process of clinging to it I always explain to myself that this isnt about solving whatever issue put me into this particular depressive state. It’s about a general belief that something somewhere is better/ is going to get better and that feeling will somehow make it back to me so I can maybe soften the blow of my next depressive state. That’s because the present state that I’m dealing with is already here and that train has left the station. It has me. My hope is about the future. Sorry for the rambling. Your videos are always enlightening, informative, understanding and thought provoking. Keep up the good work. ✌🏽

[@TTVArgusGuy]

Genuinely thought I was the only one with depression who had these "enlightened mania" episodes. I feel so much less alone knowing I'm not, those have terrified me.

[@OzeMantiz]

The videos you make, the way you express these philosophies, they create a mindset or view of the world that allows oneself to move beyond an individual viewpoint of a philosopher or belief. That is the reason that I find your videos to be the most engaging beyond others on this platform. Thank you for making each of your videos.

[@reedpatricelli]

Thanks dawg, great video as always ! I wish I could’ve been able to send it to my dad before it was too late… he woulda thought it was interesting. The vid was helpful in that it really gave me a glimpse into what he was feeling, I often wonder if he used to battle with his mind over these very things. Stay strong everyone and get out the house as much as you can, kinda like that guy who played games with his friends in the video. Better times are ahead ! Love you all❤

[@PBart7]

Thank you for this essay. Truly, thank you. In a way you saved me this day. Thank you

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@player111q7]

I don't know how it got like this but everything seems so problematic and an annoyance. Places, buildings and people all feels the same, which gives me feel anxious and existential. The morning is depressing and feels like the worst part of the day

[@pieceofbread5289]

2:47 thanks for the jumpscare i was gonna have a heart attack

[@BlingTheSlim]

@@pieceofbread5289 🤣😂🙏😭

[@BlingTheSlim]

Keep going

[@kaitlinhillier]

Finding out at age 42 that I'm autistic solved so many mysteries regarding my lifelong depression. I felt hope for the very first time.

[@gremlinpug8178]

I have genuinely had depression my entire life and it’s really odd not to have seen the world the way other people do at all. One thing that really annoys me is that no one I know shares my beliefs, I believe anyone should be allowed to peacefully end their life if it gets too much. That “would you jump out of a burning building analogy” is really meaningful, I have been trapped in this burning building all my life and I just want to escape.

[@Memzys]

i also share that belief. i mean, if everyone has the right to live, then shouldnt it be reasonable that we have the right not to?

[@dimmi_woah8520]

yea but the idea that most people subscribe to is that the action will hurt people around you more then yourself@@Memzys

[@hel2727]

I think so too. we never had a choice whether to be born or not, we just were. but why aren't we allowed to die, then? it's a "gift" we didn't ask for. I understand, if we were given a choice but no knowledge of what "life" is, we would be deciding blindly anyway. and neither do we know for sure what happens after death, yet it seems like the better, if not the only alternative to this torture. sometimes I wish it was possible to disappear into thin air. no euthanasia or suicide, simply being gone in a second, with nothing to clean up or cry over

[@Memzys]

​@@dimmi_woah8520 i know, my underlying point is that this idea is flawed. people may feel hurt over any action, that by itself should not dictate the necessity of that action. it is my life, not theirs, and i am not obligated to live for any person. thats what it means to be free, isnt it? maybe this is a very individualistic approach. i guess to a utilitarian your argument may be more favorable, generally speaking.

[@bunsenn5064]

@@dimmi_woah8520But that doesn’t matter to the person who is ending their own life, since reality and everything in it dies with them.

[@MayaMachina-n8s]

"The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience. A process that cannot be understood by stopping it: we must move with move with the flow of the process. We must join it, we must flow with it." Frank Herbert, Dune (basically an extension of a quote from Søren Kierkegaard)

[@whoarewe7647]

A depression refers literally to when an object goes under the horizon and is imperceivable. I like to think that depression is trying to make me understand something that I can’t see. So rather than let myself stay in and give in I go out and look around, and when manic I read or write so that I can see what I can’t see within my thoughts, but somehow my subconscious accepts exist; despite my poor knowledge of it.

[@whoarewe7647]

CBT is also useful for the anxiety that comes with that. Hope this helps someone.

[@Coreofdor]

When ever I visit this particular comment section I feel a bit less useless. You have such an soothing voice. Thank you Sisyphus.

[@dep7311]

You allow us a place to reevaluate ourselves. Please continue making these videos. Hope to read Camus's Myth of Sisyphus soon.

[@elios2039]

I suspected I have had depression for the last 3 years. I've felt exactly like this for this time. I'm taking this conversation to therapy. Thanks.

[@AddictiveSin]

Nailed it in the beginning but... You can know your sources of depression. Being sad 24/7 because you will never have a house and get paid just enough to slowly limp into impossible debt are great reasons. Yeah it might be a neurological issue but most people will never be well off enough to find out. A therapist? Lol who can afford/ find one of those?

[@pressedferns]

I think he’s talking about this because depression *can* exist in a person regardless of how fortunate their situation is, and does not *always* require knowing the origin of the depression. Because of this, OP sees it as a thing that is worth intellectualising because that is an insurmountable difference between that of depression from other disorders.

[@AddictiveSin]

@@pressedferns I fully appreciate the distinction you made. I think I got a touch triggered but you are totally right

[@pressedferns]

@@AddictiveSin for sure man! I do the same thing and rush to the comments sometimes😭

[@icantthinkofaname9898]

in the best way possible i found myself crying with a smile after this video. life really is absurd

[@bishopofeternity48]

Long-term depression can also screw around with memory and perception of time.

[@Communistdaughter]

That explains a lot

[@oskarkarlstrom8582]

I hate when like for example under the mental health hashtag in TikTok its just talk about suicide and suicide prevention and all that and while i get that suicide is a problem, what about us? There are some people who can be depressed, be like a Shell and just be empty But that doesn’t mean you have to be suicidal

[@genesises]

your mistake is going to tiktok for mental health advice to begin with lol

[@oskarkarlstrom8582]

@@genesises Well not really for advice just for people who can relate lol

[@Astr0Pr0j3ct]

@genesises respectfully you're missing the philosophical point he's trying to make.

[@Diana-xk3zm]

Well really, the only time society will care about your issues is when it interrupts your ability to be a good cog. When you don’t appear suicidal, everyone will say sorry and do nothing else. Only you are left to save yourself, and yet you don’t have the power, let alone the desire to do so.

[@riancallaghan2551]

Not to be dramatic but your original video of this genuinely changed my life. Thank you for your videos, your intellect, and for sharing it with us. I hope you can put the old video back up some day. I go back to it so regularly.

[@nayumarai3225]

This is by far the most acccurate, precise and exact description of a depressed mind Couldn't be any better than this

[@calmkat9032]

9:00 I think Camus is wrong about Heaven's role in people being less depressed back in the day. I tend to believe in Heaven , and I still feel miserable when I think of it. After all, I don't like being alive a lot of the time, so having that feeling forever is mortifying. Also, we know for a fact that there were depressed medeival peasents, so...

[@alexkenzagi6321]

i feel like the why we hope can be tied nicely together with Sisyphus

[@s3i8]

I wanna imagine myself happy even if I'm depressed and anxious. I feel like it's everything and it's necessary I guess. I am the Sisyphus with the rock. I just have to take care of my rock (depression). ❤

[@AOTM2227]

I’ve had anxiety and depression for 6 months due to a mentally abusive relationship i had in the same period. I broke up with my partner and have been working on getting better for a couple of months. I talked with a therapist, started working out more, got a better sleep rythm, spent more time with my family and friends (almost had to force myself at times) and talked openly with them about my feelings. I found comfort in listening to music and reading and cut out short sightet rewards like drinking, drugs, smoking, scrolling reels and using my phone. These things may not work for everyone, but they worked for me and i have gotten much better. Yesterday i was blessed with the news that i got a job I’ve been dreaming of for the last year and a half. Things are becoming meaningful again and my life has direction and purpose. If i can do it, you guys can too!

[@Communistdaughter]

I hope shit going well for you rn

[@manikvel1]

This video made me realized that I’m probably depressed lmao, thank you Sisyphus. I’ve been denying it for a long time.

[@KrucialKenn-]

How To Speak To The Universe💫: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mp3XfWOjgcRlrcUsi=deyyI0q11G_A0DCD

[@austin9809]

I went on a mission to the Philippines for the church i was born into for 2 years. Experiencing and seeing everything the I witnessed...i know i should be grateful for the life i have here in the United States...i just cant help but think i dont deserve life. Whether i'd been born here in America or in any 3rd world country.

[@anthonybreen4681]

I swear im not going crazy at 6:24 the background turns into what looks like a commercial for AusPost, Australia's postal service company. Theres an envelope going in a slot, then a mailbox, then a plane, then i swear the actual auspost logo, then it finishes on a bunch of dots which make up the outline of Australia. Please can someone tell me I'm not going crazy.

[@anthonybreen4681]

What's even funnier is it's the section where he's going through all the awful but inevitable things we experience in life, and any Australian would probably list AusPost as one of those things.

[@eluoh]

glad I read that lol​@@anthonybreen4681

[@KonoHarpDa]

@@anthonybreen4681 you aren’t going crazy :)

[@antoniopattavina8049]

I've beenauffing with diagnosed depression for about 4-5 years and through the years I've developed an absurdist and existentialist attitude. And too see that this is a normal thing comforts me so I thank you for that

[@Squashmalio]

Many cases of depression stem from a fear of death. The inability to live and enjoy life is a reaction to that fear, people are so afraid of death that they keep their life as small and meaningless as possible, so that death has less to take from them. All the bleak metaphysics and existential speculating is just the product of the terrified mind running in fear, finding ever-more complicated rationalizations for the meaningless of life and therefore also the meaningless of death - we all know death is unavoidable so this is our only defense against it. The alternative is to accept it, thereby also accept the fullness of life, but this is one of the most difficult things a human can do - even the depressed get glimpses of the potential fullness of life, and it's so massive compared to their current state that it is entirely paralyzing, the idea of living it is paralyzing, and - very specifically(not a typo): the fear of the fear of losing so much is ultimately paralyzing; a person in a depressed state will not be able to muster the strength to take on such a burden. The thing is, it's not such a burden once you've done it and you're there, but knowing that fact is worthless. It does nothing to tip the scales in the depressed persons psyche, of fear and avoidance vs vitality and love, those are strong emotions that can't be channeled, dammed up, or erased with reason. All that overthinking, and the best solution I'm aware of is the basic stuff everyone says: Exercising, meditating, eating healthy, etc. These things will quite simply give you more strength, and having a little more strength than you did yesterday means you can face a little bit more of your fear tomorrow. And once you overcome that little piece, you can start chipping away at the next one. Ideally you do that, keep gaining strength and accelerating your progress, and it gets easier and easier. In reality it is never so linear, there are setbacks that leave you feeling like you wasted months or even years of your life, and you gotta realize that that's normal and all you can do is get back to chipping away; and there is at least a consolation to these setbacks, you learn a bit each time and it's easier to climb back up the 2nd time.

[@francorock1998]

Thank you, i'm having a lot of troubles in muy life and you talk in a way that makes ir much easier. There's some days that o font want to sleep and that i feel that i am a burden to my friends and family. Thank you so much for your services, i know i Will ger better but that it will not be instant and that Is sometimes too much to handle.

[@crypticscrutiny1153]

I feel as though I don't deserve happiness. Not when so many die horribly and in absolute misery. I also feel like the only way to recover from that frame of mind is to trick myself into believing that I do deserve some measure of contentment. I could possibly cope with the negative consequences of this disposition if it were all internal. But my lack of desire affects those that i love. Starts this outrageous feedback loop of guilt. They can't help expressing their disappointment with my inability to seek happiness so that my despair gets fed back to me as further guilt. Will I ever improve? Who can say?

[@nikolas4347]

As long as you try to do your best, emphatize with others and not be a jerk (just be a decent human being, it's more than most can achieve), I think you deserve to be happy.

[@heartsofiron4ever]

Ask yourself, since childhood, has life got better or worse? The trend will continue

[@Richard0915]

I forgot I watched this, saw i had already liked it and now realize the spiral I went down, exactly as described in the first minute. Wow that hit me like a ton of bricks.