5 Things To Know About Passive Suicidal Ideation

Have you ever wanted to go to sleep and just never wake up?
Do you wish something would happen to you today to put you out of your misery?
Do you want to die, but don't want to be the one to make it happen?
These are all forms of something we call passive suicidal ideation or passive SI. Millions of people experience this, yet almost nobody talks about it and even many mental health professionals don't really understand it.
In today's episode, I discuss how passive SI differs from intrusive thoughts about death, how it's not a reliable indicator of the severity of depression, why it should always be taken seriously, how it can be treated, and where it comes from. I also have a very important question for you to answer if you experience passive SI.
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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.

[@The_best_days_are_yesterdays]

Excessive sleeping is my only relief. My dreaming life is SO much better than my waking life.

[@1Rdby]

Peace is falling asleep,,,,, waking is misery.

[@MagnetoWasRight1000]

SAME

[@Livoirienyvoitrien]

So was mine. It changed unfortunately. Every night I have nightmares, my long dead mother rising from the grave abusing me again, being tortured to death by my brother in law, drowned in the arctic in ice water and so on and so forth. During my wake days I suffer mobbing and exploitation by my hostage taker boss, and self injury that makes me unable to take responsibility. I somehow watch myself going down. It feels unspectacular. It just happens, I’m not controlling anything anymore. I don’t want to be put out on the streets again. I want to be done.

[@The_best_days_are_yesterdays]

@@Livoirienyvoitrien I'm so sorry to hear this.

[@Livoirienyvoitrien]

@@The_best_days_are_yesterdays im Sorry to have worried you, please forgive. Soul baring like i have done is to no avail. I’m happy you still have your refuge. Maybe mine will open again someday. I used to dream of the child hood farm I grew up close to. I want to be with those cows again.

[@bellapicciano9689]

It feels like staying alive for other people is just another form of people pleasing

[@meaganyn]

This!

[@formidable4748]

It's called Compassion and Kindness

[@Itsyrm8]

I dont know, but i would hate to leave a couple of people living their lives with me gone. I dont think this is "people pleasing"

[@MadBadSadAndGlad]

Live for urself as well. Hold on tightly, let go lightly...

[@tulip811]

Exactly

[@sealstorm1935]

Sleep for me is more than just rest, it's an escape.

[@klanderkal]

Same here, the morning anxiety attack, knowing that it's another day with depression. Unable to do anything. And no motivation or energy.

[@roseyc.5846]

SAME HERE!!

[@klanderkal]

@@roseyc.5846 Depression is so unbearable, just being awake is a struggle for me. Even trying to sleep is difficult.... 😩

[@Jondoe.36]

💤🛌 🚶‍♂️ Same here

[@andrewrobinson773]

Waking up each day is hell and all u want to do is go to sleep for in that time life is bearable

[@susanvanpelt6425]

I've had it since I was in my 39's. I am now 71. Thought I was the only one. Other than forgiveness, this is my most constant prayer. That I go to sleep and just never wake up.

[@mosoyakane]

It is so sad that you have it for years.. Why don't you get help in a professional way?

[@onethatdoesart5650]

​@@mosoyakane hi, to answer your question on behalf of most mentally ill people; im someone who has been in therapy for twelve years, has committed myself to wards several times, and has had other treatment. Yet, you will find that the only help that can be given are very minor improvements, emotional support which is minimal, and medication which is only effective for certain people. I myself am medication resistant and usually only experienced bad to severe side effects so they can't use any with me. Most mental health issues are chronic, which means permanent. Treatable? Can be. Curable or "fixable"? Never. Most mentally ill people have chronic physical pain and health issues, usually both before and caused by said mental illness. So with forever unending pain and bodily malfunctions usually coupled with failing at jobs and being the highest percentage in the unemployment charts, tri- mingled with mental instability- there is little to no real help. Best you got is getting it off your chest only to have your chest crushed again in the next hour by either the same thing or something else. Sad as it is, it just is.

[@talibmael1579]

Since I was born and I throw in the towel I'm done with life no sense whatsoever

[@MichelleChou-tl6ip]

I keep praying too, but seriously these prayers don't work. I sometimes see planes getting crashed with fatalities and I feel deep envy that I was not on the plane.

[@zhaw4821]

I wish I was free of my love for my children that still need me. I'm 73 . I REALLY want to go to the next stage

[@CheeseKransky12]

People must think I'm selfish for wanting to end things but I kinda think everyone else is selfish for expecting me to continue living like this for another 30-40 years

[@franen321divine6]

part of what I hate about the world is that it's built on morals and meaning where there is none, we find meaning when the world never had to have any meaning at all. All "right" and "wrong" is, is what we were told by our predecessors, the same way we think certain people are despicable that's because we were told that. Even though everyone has an idea of the right thing, our idea of the right thing could make us a monster in someone else's eyes. In the end morals are just whoever lasts longer gets to tell all the stories. And we know for a fact that the suicidal folk aren't the ones lasting longer. I can understand why it would be called selfish since I wouldn't want my loved ones to hurt themselves, but at the same time I understand why people decide to throw it all away in hopes that this emptiness will fade. I like to tell myself I would never do anything to myself because I wouldn't want to hurt my family like that. I understand these are implanted morals too, there's no meaning in what happens either way, but these morals are strong enough that I stick with them even when it's tough. For them I would be willing to continue living like this for those 30-40 years. I know literally no one cares but I just wanted to rant I guess about my take on something for once

[@The_best_days_are_yesterdays]

You have absolute agency over your life and no one has the right to tell you what to do. I wish you the best life whether it's here or hereafter.

[@zenigatago]

Yes, I believe that it's more cruel to keep a suffering individual around and expecting them to "look forward" when it's all an extended dead end for them.

[@WildWildWest415]

Totally Agree..a lifetime of this roller coaster hell..is Hell

[@annmariejensen7684]

This

[@andinelson1]

Look how many people clicked on this. We are all so mentally exhausted and treading water day after day.

[@swizzamane8775]

Maybe some of those are people just trying to understand their friends and family. I actually imagine. Many of those afflicted by this, "just don't care". For me, this video is to understand WHY people care so much that I still exist.

[@elistrauf]

Feels like the waves keep coming and getting bigger each time. And the waves are knocking us down

[@firstnamelastname6699]

not just that im tired of treading water. it's that I am completely surrounded by the endless ocean. im 28 I still have do this 40+ more

[@SofaKingShit]

I'm 55 and lucky enough that l still occasionally want to get down on my knees in relief when im stoned. Cannabis doesn't always work, there's also a few side effects and disadvantages, together with the whole legality aspect that has unfortunately led to quite some sacrifices but on the whole l dont know how l could have made it this far without it. People who dont smoke earn my respect, and furthermore those who don't smoke and have family and steady job and what not as well truly earn a jaw dropping in my view. But for me personally it's the only relief that l ever get, like this morning l was gardening and got just a little joy of life again, whereas earlier after l had awoken l was in a somewhat ghastly mood with seemingly no way out. Had to basically force myself to smoke because it appears that I basically even have trouble achieving being a pathetic stoner for the day. What mastery.

[@TraciWest-MYBODYMYMINDMYLIFE]

@andinelson1 How do you think you can change that? @unitednations

[@zhaw4821]

2,500 years ago, Greek writer Aeschylus wrote: The luckiest are the ones that were never born

[@AngstyAnon]

Do you believe that?

[@zhaw4821]

@@AngstyAnon Yes

[@HolzHause]

​@@AngstyAnoni often wish my mom had an abortion.

[@waynetec13]

I agree. I didn't ask to be here.

[@samanthafoxxx]

💯

[@netrimos]

My wife, best friend, my muse passed from cancer. She was ny best friend since middle school. Parents both died from covid. I have become a drone. I no longer do any art, I have a hard time working. I am living off of retirement savings which is dwindling. I keep the kids very happy and healthy, but my face is a facade. Waiting for them to go off to college, I have stage 2 hypertension and take no meds and don’t plan to. I am not depressed. I just exist and waiting to not exist. Thank you for this video. It helped me understand a bit of whats going on in my head.

[@loriw.5903]

I lost my mom 4yrs ago to cancer.... it feels like a piece of me died with her. It happened only 2mos after finding out my abusive father had over dosed.... i had suddenly felt like an orphan. And then i stopped and thought about it. And it dawned on me. I WAS an orphan. In the physical realm. But i still have a mother and father. They are just not here any more. I will see my mother again in Heaven. She will be there with my grandmother with open arms and smiles. And i cannot wait! ❤ you will be with her again. She wouldnt want you to be numb the rest of your life here in the physical realm. Enjoy the time you have and make memories. ❤

[@Keepinglivingintruth]

@@netrimos thanks for sharing. It's very hard to lose a loved one especially a loved one closest to you. Just stay strong and remember how much GOD loves you to give you a person who will love you back. Some people are not as fortunate to find that kind of love. One thing you could say is that you had someone here on earth that really loved you. Thank GOD for that🙂💙

[@michellepatterson1256]

I agree

[@joywebster2678]

Ignoring the hypertension can cause a stroke, which then makes you a burden on your children. That's not fair. Strokes come in varying degrees, I've had 4 and still live alone and have to manage alone. So treat that please.

[@seankraus5246]

I hope u take the meds. If you can be there for your kids they will need you. My mom is bipolar she either down and out or too manic. My dad stole from me and even if he didn't he didn't have much life lessons to offer Raising myself is one of the hardest things in my life. That includes all the betrayal, bad luck and downfalls. Cheated on and told I'm perfect. Probably lies. Guess I wish you luck and that it gets better. Sorry this wasn't helpful.

[@russellclay2087]

Sleeping is the best part of the day

[@amberfitz-randolph392]

I slept hard AF without night terrors a few times today, but menstrual cycle starting can really kick my ass and make me sleep like that. Otherwise if my brain decides to have flashbacks of crap or forget im in my current home, thinks im still back home married, idk how to make it stfu in my sleep yet lol. Can talk myself down or message an empathetic stranger, call 988 or whatever if im distraught and awake. Not sure what the hell to do aside from cannabis gummies (hemp thc & cbd not weed because weed gives me panic attacks) and rx drugs gabapentin has been a bit useful. Ambien is a no go it made me try to fight people when sleepwalking and leave the building i was in, apparently i wanted to go see a giant clown statue outside because under the influence of ambien i wasnt scared of it lol😂

[@theharshtruthoutthere]

@@amberfitz-randolph392 Medical personal, it is time to REPENT AND BORN AGAIN!

[@sp1cyn0va35]

I agree, all I want to do is sleep, and no one understands. Everyone thinks I’m lazy

[@SDS-ee9js]

Same I just want to sleep and be left alone.

[@theharshtruthoutthere]

@@SDS-ee9js Matthew 11:28 KJV Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

[@suzymoroka297]

“I don’t wanna die, but I’m not keen on living either”- Robbie Williams. This is me to a tee 🥺😢😭😭

[@nady2296]

This song is amazing. So emotional

[@Lightning7112]

basically me

[@kevinfairweather3661]

I hear you..

[@colleenpeck6347]

I'm indifferent on living with chronic pain after 12 years of misery. Inoperable back & neck injuries leaves a person hopeless.

[@scorpio0685]

Me too!

[@sarahhale-pearson533]

The end point really was crucial. Sometimes this ‘illness’ is not an illness. It’s a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. We have to stop medicalization of the human condition. If you have damn good reasons to be miserable, you ain’t sick. You need change, but you know you’re trapped.

[@WillowQuesnel]

I totally agree - you can't medicate your way out of poverty, for example. If we had good assists suicide facilities I would leave this life, peacefully, now. But, I won't give myself a messy ending, because I wouldn't want put family or friends through that. So, l I'm left with are dark fantasies of my suffering finally coming to an end.

[@crimson4066]

"Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy, then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction? It is already happening to some extent in our own society... Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed, modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect, antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable." -Ted Kaczynski

[@pennym8806]

Your video made me wonder if there could really be hope .I have multiple sclerosis and have come to terms that there is no cure so thank you ❤

[@susimuller6317]

​@@crimson4066 Well he is wrong, you don't need this drugs, mostly the brain is drugging and changing the program itself. Think about the people that where abducted, they grow to like the person that has abducted them. Or think about reallly messy 3th world countrys, where people still live besides the fact that there is nothing to live for, just suffering. So if things are unbarable the brain will change your view most of the time.

[@peggyjaeger9280]

@@crimson4066 He was a genius. It is society that is sick.

[@liberal4liberty]

I've been having these types of feelings for a long time and going to sleep is one of the ways to escape my misery.

[@artiarora-n6e]

I could relate to passive suicidal ideation but when I got into a potentially life threatening situation, my mind completely forgot I did not care about my life during the time in a span of some seconds. You will beg for life when you are in actual danger. The comments that say I won't plead for my life in danger are just drama queens living in a first world safe haven, your primal instincts and subconscious mind can easily overpower you and your thoughts/ideas in times of actual distress. You cannot stop the adrenaline and cortisol when a wild animal charges at you or if you are alone starving and thirsty.

[@klanderkal]

​@@artiarora-n6eI like your comment. I had a Traumatic event that caused loss of my career job 😢 and more. I have that stress you mention. Constant cortisol dumping, stress, anxiety, depression... it keeps you in S.I. everyday.

[@jeremybly]

Take more pills 💊

[@bijonschannel]

its because you're a lib. jk. Sorry to wake you.

[@RamonaMcKean]

"I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it," Franz Kafka.

[@runeskyttsing9089]

I am a chicken shit coward. I to scared to "off" myself... Must be something deeply rooted in many humans, to not "off" oneself.

[@divinebeing2476]

That is because we all have souls our souls are eternal and when we die we just become another person until we pass the test of life and go back to heaven where we all originated from hell isn't what we think it is hell is actually everyone's current reality in our bodies because we are eternal beings

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@divinebeing2476oh stop it

[@Livoirienyvoitrien]

Gee that’s a hard hitter

[@acceptinglife6491]

​@@runeskyttsing9089 yes, self-preservation is evolutionary, that's what makes that decision extremely difficult

[@HihighHeisenberg]

I've spent nearly 40 years wanting to go to sleep and not wake up. If I got cancer or a fatal illness I'd refuse treatment. It would be a relief and a release from a lifetime of misery.

[@user-hq5ps7dx7d]

🙏💔🙏

[@fujowpaiyingjowpai2885]

I feel the same way. I even stopped going to the doc for check ups. I honestly don't give a shit if I die. It's coming anyway. I'm miserable being alive.

[@AmethystWoman]

I thought so too but msybe having cancer made me want to live. And I don't want to die. I just can't do this pain anymore

[@lorralorra222]

What would help you ? I’ve seen people with money in this state and the opposite. I feel I have no one, my parents are elderly don’t care, and my brother died last year and other one too busy for me.

[@cabuscus]

Nothing in the world terrifies me more than feeling this way for 40 more years.

[@deniseelsworth7816]

On the flip side I can now travel all around the world because I lost my lifelong phobia of flying because I no longer cared if the plane crashed 😊

[@DrScottEilers]

😂 way to look on the bright side!

[@deniseelsworth7816]

@@villepakarinen exactly!

[@MyNameIsJeff2023]

Sweet, us broke people can only imagine traveling all.over the world and dying in a crash 🗑

[@deniseelsworth7816]

@@MyNameIsJeff2023 I am poor but not stupid with money. It's a life skill that some people don't have the wits to achieve.

[@kelseykjarsgaard5774]

​@@MyNameIsJeff2023lmaoo

[@paskariu]

It's gotten to the point where I don't want to sleep anymore just so that I can draw out the time until tomorrow. Things in life are... okish. Stable job, a few friends. I just don't have anything to look forwards to. No motivation to do anything. Been feeling passive suicidal ideation for most of my life since early childhood. Idk what to do about that anymore Venting aside very nice video. I was personally feeling sick of advice like "people care about you!! just do it for their sake" I can't even do it for my own let alone for other people. This is a very calm and more objective explanation of what's going on on the inside. It's refreshing

[@yesmaybe5868]

There’s something comforting in the idea that I’m not the only one feeling this way

[@RamonaMcKean]

Yes.

[@bexoj4y]

Yea it’s ok

[@blissprokop6239]

Because the others know how we feel. Maybe not so much in words, but in emotion or lack of it. (Sometimes we feel empty or numb.) Someone who has not experienced depression doesn't know that feeling. It's easier to talk to someone who knows. If you find one, a support group could be a good thing .

[@inthejungle11]

Yeah. Like we aren't going through this alone

[@blissprokop6239]

@@HyperionCantos-r4k sending you hugs 🫂 .I'm sorry it's not the same as a real one. You are loved.

[@JHiggins67]

I've had these thoughts for four decades, nearly every day, since I was a teen. Through the years, I've discovered that suicidal fantasies relax me; they give me reassurance that I am in control -- that if I chose, I could make this all stop.

[@stella-gx8ne]

Agree…carry on.I’m 69 and feel the same way but there are good things that I have to take care of. Husband, dogs etc.

[@actopt]

i want to go to sleep and wake up in 3 years

[@CraigAnderson-h2h]

Yes, but the paradox is that we cannot know if 'this' stops if we kill the body, consciousness may go on in a pit.

[@zacharynguyen7286]

Hope everyone doing good and staying safe. If you need to talk to someone or need help, there are people who care. Sending support and hearts. ❤️❤️❤️❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@CraigAnderson-h2h]

My father committed suicide the last day of my junior year in high school. He shot himself on our front porch. I was 16. So I've had to deal with it ever since then and I am now 77.Sure, I've had suicidal thoughts and passive suicidal tendencies at times, living dangerously. But I always stopped for the reason I outline in my comment below...

[@samblovinglife7946]

People don't understand some people are not fans of life.

[@marsoblivi0n945]

It’s because 8 out of 10 people are to dumb to see the world for what it is and enjoy all the plastic cringe the world creates. They can’t see everything and everyone for what it is. Most severely depressed people are highly intelligent. So that’s the only upside.

[@SamuelBlack84]

It's simply a system of being brought on by random circumstances

[@GladysAlicea]

"Reality is an acquired taste." Matthew Perry

[@charleslaughton8092]

well said.....

[@bootscooty]

That's so funny because I think a lot of people who seem to not understand that some people aren't fans of life are also not fans of life but used to being rejected by people who think they know everything

[@OzarkGiGi]

Amen. I'm old. Depressed most of my life and extremely lonely. Won't touch myself with harm but I do ask God to take me home when I go to bed.

[@grafvonrotz2233]

I never left my apartment, once a week to meet my parents, that was it for about 5 to 7 years. Always loved animals. So I combined the issue with the love and adopted a dog. Now I have a purpose to get up in the morning, it's at least something. I even enjoy our walks, not always, but often enough. Sunrise, when nobody is out (summertime sundays are the best for it, I can be out at 4 AM and have a wonderful walk), is the best time of the day to me. Animals really are a blessing and even if they might not cure, they still do a lot. And you know what? There might be some soul out there, into the body of a dog or cat or whatever furbaby, that could need you too. If you stay here as long as God wants you to, make that time a better time for you and an animal by adopting one.

[@OzarkGiGi]

@@grafvonrotz2233 I do have a dog, he is the 5th and the last one I rescued. He is truly a blessing. 9 years old and he sure is happy in the morning. Yes it does give you a reason to get up and you know what we like walks at 4:00 a.m. also because everyone else is asleep. Pets truly can provide such Joy. Thank you for commenting and bless you

[@JazzGaming26]

This describes me 100%. Not going out of my way to end my life but if someone were to hold a gun to my head I probably won't plead for my life.

[@mikespike2099]

Same … it’s amazing how intelligent people are living like this … because we see the reality … especially in oppressive hyper-capitalist selfish societies ruled by Chads

[@nunyuhbusiness9016]

​@@mikespike2099 I feel like you would benefit from staying offline for awhile.

[@Jackie-x4u]

You might find the answer and 101 reasons to live when there's a gun at your head

[@cameronjadewallace]

I've thought about it a lot, and the only thing that comes to mind is "hey.... Thanks."

[@MrLionGod]

I am literally the same, ive had depression since i was a child, i tryed to end things at around 12-14 years old several times, now im more on the passive side of things and taking antidepressants all the time. Since my cat died 8 months ago, my depressive episodes became a bit worse, sadly i cant rly feel anythin anymore.

[@orangeorangeness2116]

Those few seconds that I'm drifting into sleep are so comforting and temporarily take away the pain of being alive.

[@david-gu1bi]

Sleeping is no longer sleeping.. It's an escape from reality.. At 67 yrs. old I never imagined the Nightmare this world is.. Hope for the best...

[@nicole_k7825]

So true. But you are not alone in this

[@TraciWest-MYBODYMYMINDMYLIFE]

@orangeorangeness2116 Life sure can bombard us with unnecessary drama, sometimes. I hope you feel better soon. @unitednations

[@KathyHussey063]

@@david-gu1bi I hear ya' honey, I'm 63 & in 2017, I'm not exaggerating when I say, without laughing hysterically at the mere idea of it because (what the he$$ ??) I never gave any real consideration to the idea of multiple dimensions possibly existing, but...nonetheless, here I am about to tell you that in mid 2017 I felt something, I can't even describe it, it was a 'knowing', something changed like a switch was flipped and over about 5 days time I, for some reason, felt like I was NOT even in the same exact world I'd been in for 56 years; everything was off, different in weird ways. Like if you didn'r know my kids or 6 sisters, then you woulsn't notice it but when people are saying & doing tthings totally out of character to who they'd always beeb....it was too noticeable to me. It continued to get worse every month for me.Did anyone else go through such feelings, n a passing thought but real certainty that everyone shfted & only I realized iit. No, "i'm not nuts I swear, not yet atleast...lol.

[@sadehowell2145]

For me, it feels like sleeping helps me not think about the next day. When I wake up I just do not feel like being in this world anymore

[@seanwoods1963]

As someone who was tormented by this for around two decades, I agree with everything you say. After about a year of therapy I realised this was my body's way of telling me my life had to change. I started by ending my relationship. Then, a few years later (after more therapy), I moved continents and started an entirely new profession. I'm now 59, and have been living a satisfying, meaningful life for around 15 years. Take my word for it, it's never too late to embark on the life you deserve - it just feels that way when you're trapped in this seemingly endless depressive cycle.

[@DrScottEilers]

I love this Sean! Thanks for sharing!

[@whipchick90]

I'm 58 1/2, and think like this all the time. I'm lost.

[@giuliapareti1797]

I’m 38 am I late for a change? My body tells me everyday this ain’t my place. I just want to move to another whole country but I’m too scared.

[@DrScottEilers]

@@giuliapareti1797 it’s never too late! I’m 40 and still figuring my life out

[@giuliapareti1797]

@@DrScottEilers ty for your reply. I just feel so trapped and scared sometimes it feels like it’s too late.

[@tackycardia]

I have felt like this before and a combination of medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes have completely changed my brain chemistry. It is possible to fall asleep excited for a new day, I promise. These comments are so devastating. Our society constantly fails so many of us. I am holding you all in my heart.

[@anyatranter5588]

Having no friends no partner,getting old and isolated these are really hard things to resolve especially if your mood is erratic and self esteem has sunk to an all time low.😅

[@gene108]

I’m in the same place in life. It sucks. Though I’m coming to realize it’s not hopeless.

[@DJ-iu5bb]

im like this cant be life and then im thinking like it is sometimes life is cruel

[@glenliesegang233]

If stuck, rescue and animal who needs your love. Start serving others- Habitat for Humanity, etc. Join a church which shows only love without judgement. These help somewhat.

[@soulthriver-oz6470]

Yes, it's challenging. The challenge is for you to decide, are you going to sit back & accept that..or are you going to push yourself to go..volunteer at a soup kitchen, join an exercise class for seniors. Etc.Just take one baby step when you can.

[@thecozyconstellation]

that's my life right there.

[@IanM-id8or]

I felt suicidal for most of my life. What finally broke me out of it was the realisation that my siblings actively wanted me to die. My depression came about because I suffer from complex PTSD caused by my violent, abusive family If someone had been able to objectively look at my life, I think they'd have wondered why I didn't do away with myself. I didn't have real friends. My family were abusive. I was terrified. I was alone. Since I escaped from my family and got real friends I've been much better

[@tehamill1]

Love to you, I’m so sorry for this

[@LisaGonzales-lv5tu]

Wow! You hit the nail on the head for me!!! I'm just coming out of about 4 years of passive suicidal thoughts. I was involved in something that left me with a damaged conscience. I truly believed that I was a bad person and God did not love me. I wanted to die!!!! All the time. I wanted to get covid, get hit by a bus, get cancer etc...I saw a therapist on a regular basis, started an anti depressants. Slowly I began to heal. I needed to feel worthy of God's love. I prayed fervently, and started living a life that was in agreement with my values. Today i actually feel joy, I don't want to die anymore. It was a brutal experience!!!!! As you said, feelings do change. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.

[@atanamorell2]

Best to you. Glad you got out. I'm making plans now for running away from my abusive home situation with my disabled child. Anything is pretty much better than this. We can make it work.

[@aidene5513]

@@Melissa-818 you are everywhere🤢🤮

[@julieseward1385]

I went through the same. 🫂

[@haleycopans296]

I’m only here bc I don’t want others to be sad or traumatize anyone else. I’m living for others

[@mattchancey3202]

Just waiting until my parents pass away. Then I’m out of here.

[@SubjectiveFunny]

I'm waiting out my dog. She is 10. Would never abandon her to live in a shelter. Freedom is not too far away.

[@tranquility1967]

​@mattchancey3202 I am here for my disabled son.... so I am stuck here for a long long time... just doing the motions

[@3Torts]

@@mattchancey3202 bruh...

[@3Torts]

@@SubjectiveFunny :/

[@KaySkywalker]

Im crying watching this. Being bullied in highschool lasts for years and puts people into this state of mind. My sister was not bullied but I was. She married and I live alone.

[@XxBunnytailxX]

It's why I CAN'T seek help. They'll immediately panic and threaten institution or being held against my will, so I'll just suffer.

[@Eternalrain23]

Absolutely, feed you pills instead of actually helping the problem and finding a better outlook than this shit storm of a society. Plus if you're a woman, you'll just be label hysterical, dramatic or attention seeking, and if you're a man, you'll be told to suck it up

[@kk-fo3zx]

I'm sorry to hear you're in such a difficult situation. I imagine it must be incredibly hard to urgently need professional care while also fearing the possibly traumatic, highly stressful experience of forceful institutionalization. I realize that this is purely anecdotal and dependent on a huge range of factors, but your assumption does not always have to be accurate. In my case, my therapist(s) neither panicked nor did they threaten institutionalization. They showed a normal level of concern/compassion and asked some more questions. In their report I read later on it said that I was able to distance myself from these thoughts in a believable way. After some time, I was able to discuss my moments of active SI in the same way and they reacted very similarly. I've met lots of other people struggling with depression/mental illness and passive and/or active SI and only know of two cases that got forcefully institutionalized for a day/ a week before being released into normal care. In both cases, they were showing rather strong, acute signs of suicidal behavior. Both described the experience as extremely stressful and never want to live through anything like it again. At the same time, they'll also admit that it was a necessary step and are grateful for the care they received afterwards. I wish you all the best and sincerely hope that you can find the help you require.

[@joannhowell582]

I have told my therapist each time I have had passive SI. She has never panicked or even suggested institution. Any professional that panics is not a professional. It is so liberating to be able to tell someone what I am truly feeling. No matter how outrageous. I hope you find someone to talk to. Maybe a hotline. A good therapist will never make you feel afraid or triggered. They are supposed to model healthy relationship with you so that you can experience a healthy relationship and learn to apply it to other relationships. I hear you. I see you. You are a valuable person. You are loved. I hope you find someone to talk to. It can give you relief from the burden of depression.

[@stryxdomina3513]

I completely understand that fear and I was reluctant to bring it up my passive SI with my therapist. But she responded calmly and asked good questions. By bringing that up we were able to talk about my depression on a deeper level than if I had not shared. It takes a lot of trust but if you are with a good therapist then it should be safe to talk about it.

[@kk-fo3zx]

@DriftingDestroyer98 I guess this might depend on a lot of different factors, but it was not the case in my personal experience.

[@2puffs770]

I've dealt with this for four decades, without therapy, or "legal" medication. You are right, it is a miserable way to live. I just exist, I am not "living". And here I thought I was mostly alone, how wrong I was.

[@miguellle]

I'm with you

[@albinsunny8668]

yeh

[@keenah1111]

a person should have the right to end this life when it isnt a life. it is your life and no one who hasnt cared to help you not feel like that should have any say in the matter. this world is so full of cruel humans. they are so quick to judge you and say insensitive things but no one steps up. who tf are they to pass judgement instead of helping? youre so absolutely right, that is not living. i am so sorry youve been holding on for so long like that. i can totally relate. it is awful to say the least. so sad and horrible. i want it to end. i just havent had the courage and strength it takes to end it myself which is why i wish every night to die in my sleep just so it ends already

[@BraennAedes]

Now I'm crying.

[@Casualdevy]

I hope you get the help you need friend, you are so strong for pushing on all by yourself without professional assistance... You are stronger than you think... you made it this far, and i believe you shall find a way to feel alive again Don't give up

[@lecomtedeneuch9994]

The worst is when depression was so bad it started to be painful physically. Only depressed people know what I'm talking about. It's so painful, I've survived 3 suicidal attempts. What helped is to escape from toxic relatives and fake friends. You wouldn't feel this way with people that truly love and cherish you. Sending love and prayers to my other brothers and sisters who suffer from this too. We are warriors and I believe in yall !

[@77rosato]

@@lecomtedeneuch9994 aw what a lovely thing to say. Warriors. Yes. I believe in you too and am sending my most positive vibes and wishing you (healthy) love, light and laughter. Nicki. Scotland🧝‍♀️☮️💜

[@kk-fo3zx]

I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad you're still with us. I also think it's great that you were able to reshape your relationships/social circle in a way that makes you feel better. This is probably just me misunderstanding your comment, but could you expand a bit on the sentence about "not feeling that way when you're with people that truly love and cherish you"? I agree to the extent that depression and SI is more likely to develop in (childhood) environments that lack unconditional love. I also think that feeling loved and cherished is highly important for the health of any human being and it is an important part of the healing process. Tbh, it is possible for someone to suffer from depression and SI while being in the presence of people that truly, unconditionally love them. Depression is an illness that will often require professional care (ideally in addition to true, unconditional love)

[@WilliamMarcotte-io4go]

I was never suicidal my hopes were to stay alive to see them die well mom died and dad died. Last year after his son steven and his wife Crystal mzrcotte of labelle Florida shot them selves do you see what turds tgey see whatcturds tgey were as parents they lived tight down tge street o was not raised by these assholes I'm living to see them shiting themselves and dieing I was raised by my mom.and tge army I'm 54 love on the beach in vero beach but I'm old life is getting very redundant I want to find some friends some friends could help me feel better God I hope so pleasr pray for me ok ok thank you

[@_Its.Emma_]

There are many people who survived suicidal thoughts or attempts who are now happy and are living a good life and they can tell you that life gets better and it does, so don't lose hope and make sure you're there to see it. For example Jazz Thornton or recklesslyalive, see their content when you need hope. Imagine a moment in the future when you're happy and hold onto that moment with hope it will come true soon. It won't always be that hard. There are people who can help you so reach out for help.Think of all the things you have yet to do, places to visit, beautiful things to see, tv shows and movies to watch, books to read, people to meet who are going to love you and so many more. These things may not keep you forever but take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute. Stay for your future, your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, things you like to do and things that make you happy in the present and in the future. You survived every single one of your worst days and you can keep on surviving until it doesn't feel like surviving anymore but it feels like living, until you're actually exited about life and you will be one day. You are worth living and fighting for so fight until it doesn't feel like fighting. Talk to someone you trust and if you can't find that person, call a crisis or suicide hotline or talk to a therapist, there are online chats for people with mental health problems for example suicideapuk, don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please stay. This world is a better place with you in it. You matter, you're here for a reason and you are needed. I care and so do other people, who would rather listen about your problems than about your death. It'll be okay ask yourself what if it all works out?

[@wisedred]

force à toi💪

[@jaynebarry5658]

Btw, if you see I’ve pressed “ like” on a comment, it’s not that like the the suffering the person is sharing, I am just being supportive by letting them know I see their pain and that they are not as alone as it looks like they are. ❤

[@klanderkal]

I do the same... sometimes I vent my own sufferings. 😢

[@anomoly6414]

The utter deep disappointment I feel every morning i wake up that I’m still here never gets easier.

[@Helena-ve8we]

❤

[@human-creature24]

♥

[@camerongilmour77]

I hear ya, big time!

[@remissiveslave]

Feel this way daily but yesterday and last night; it hit hard. Was up to 3 am cuz I was running scripts of things about life and just how I'm at my plateau. Losing interest, energy, and the will to do anything.

[@Esme-gf4jd]

My sister someday that deep, sweet sleep will be yours. Believe it . Make SURE you are prepared, I have had to pay for 4 funerals in 2 years it's no joke. Prepay your service, make SURE your clothes are ready and your affairs settled. Soon, soon. Be comforted.

[@asdfghjkl2090]

I’ve had these thoughts for years. When my husband left 2 years ago, the only reason I stayed was my cats. My world has been crumbling constantly for the last few years but they’re excited to see me. They come snuggle when I’m crying. They give me reason to keep going. They’ve gotten me through so much since I got them 6 years ago. I need them way more than they need me.

[@F3nnyFenny]

Hi, this is the exact reason why I'm still here. I have 4 cats to take care of, there's also 1 stray cat who regularly follows me on my daily walk. I'm staying alive because of them. It's not easy. I'm also currently in a therapy, somehow sometimes I feel it's just not enough. I hope you're doing well now.

[@EB-gt1pq]

Cats are amazing

[@IdahoMouse2007]

Kitties have saved me my whole life. I’ve only been cat-less for 1 month 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ I’m glad you have your silly babies, they do make life better ❤ you’re doing good, one day at a time ❤️

[@_Its.Emma_]

There are many people who survived suicidal thoughts or attempts who are now happy and are living a good life and they can tell you that life gets better and it does, so don't lose hope and make sure you're there to see it. For example Jazz Thornton or recklesslyalive, see their content when you need hope. Imagine a moment in the future when you're happy and hold onto that moment with hope it will come true soon. It won't always be that hard. There are people who can help you so reach out for help.Think of all the things you have yet to do, places to visit, beautiful things to see, tv shows and movies to watch, books to read, people to meet who are going to love you and so many more. These things may not keep you forever but take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute. Stay for your future, your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, things you like to do and things that make you happy in the present and in the future. You survived every single one of your worst days and you can keep on surviving until it doesn't feel like surviving anymore but it feels like living, until you're actually exited about life and you will be one day. You are worth living and fighting for so fight until it doesn't feel like fighting. Talk to someone you trust and if you can't find that person, call a crisis or suicide hotline or talk to a therapist, there are online chats for people with mental health problems for example suicideapuk, don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please stay. This world is a better place with you in it. You matter, you're here for a reason and you are needed. I care and so do other people, who would rather listen about your problems than about your death. It'll be okay ask yourself what if it all works out?

[@EB-gt1pq]

Years ago I was battling anxiety and suicidal thoughts and came very close to doing it, but my favorite cat stayed with me throughout the day… Literally followed me everywhere I went, even into the bathroom while I showered. That cat saved my life. She was the only one that made me feel loved even though I was surrounded by family.

[@smileychess]

At least once a day, the thought “I wish I was dead” pops in my head. This has been a normal part of my existence for over a decade. I don’t take it seriously because there’s no way I would do that to my mom. But once she’s gone, I’ll be honest: I’m not sure what else would prevent it.

[@TheXandemic]

Been suicidal since I was 14 (I'm almost 29 now) things have definitely got even harder after my mom passed. It's been 10 months and I'm going through the darkest time in my life, what's crazy is I know it could be worse. Not really a comforting thought realizing it could be even worse, but I try to be grateful

[@smileychess]

@@TheXandemic - I think what helps me is remembering that every time the darkness creeps in, it always ends in light eventually. There’s always a good day to be had, and in those days I’m _always_ glad I’m still here. Not to mention that I have plenty of love to give, and nothing feels better than to do good for others. That becomes impossible if I no longer exist.

[@TheXandemic]

@@smileychess agreed, I recently started working out and I've lost 20 points and can now do 12 pull ups in a row. One of my coworkers started losing weight, and told me I was his inspiration to lose the weight. He knows I struggle with alcohol and drug addiction, so he knows if I can do it while struggling with that, he can do it too. I felt good to inspire positive change.

[@funkymunky]

Same.

[@Flutistno3]

My mom had this screwed up desire to have "control" over her death by refusing to go to doctors. She has the mentality that if it's never diagnosed, if she never finds out, then her death will be somehow easier. I can't deal with it. It crushes me that she has no hope, no desire to stay on this planet as long as possible, maybe to see my son get married or have his own children. He's 19. All of these could happen in the next few years, but my mom chooses control over those possibilities. I told her that if she keeps doing this, I won't (read that honestly as "can't") be there for her, too watch her die slowly of curable or treatable disease. She refused to get shingles treatment until her rash was black and necrotic. I have stopped talking to her, haven't in about a month. She got mad when I told her I would have no reason to continue living after she passed that way.....

[@allthingsmusic-]

Chronic pain, has caused me to spend a LOT of my time in PSI. I am going to be 68, in a few months. Things ARE missing. I have been a lifelong musician, and music teacher. I loved my career. Now, the neuropathy affects every part of my life. It's hard to even play my music. Fingers can barely touch the strings at times. So THAT, is a BIG missing piece. The other, is my ex, kidnapped my 4 year old "daddy's girl" daughter, and disappeared. That was back in 2001. That devastated me in ways I can't even put words to. I have been alone, since then. I still played music, and taught, toured, and such, but that missing "family" part, has never left. The pain of the neuropathy, began back 2014, and has increased year, by year. Now, I can't teach, gig, or much of anything, musically. You put these two things together, and yeah, the "if I could just fall asleep, and never wake up" thought, is most def. a constant companion. I have two wonderful Bombay kitties, (Bro & sis), that are 2 1/2 years old. They are wonderful, and I love them to the moon, and back. But the lack of human touch, and "in-person" conversation, is having a HUGE affect on my mental health. No students, no partner, constant pain... Yeah, that's what I deal with, 24/7/365. In this horrid small town I now live in, there are no emotional counselors, and very few mental health services, at all. I live in a 55+ apartment building, and virtually no one speaks to anyone, outside of their personal circle. I speak to maybe 3 people all day, and THAT is iffy at times. I am lonely, depressed, and just want it to end. Your vid, and insights, really hit me hard. You are so very right. Thank you! Now I know what to call this horrid condition, AND, why I am feeling it so hard. (sigh). Now, to find a way to deal with it, besides eating my way to an early grave.Being diabetic, doesn't help, either. I DO have a fairly large group of folks in my online communities, but, again, they can't touch you, and only a couple of them, I have a phone conversation with once in a while. But still... I think you all get what I'm talking about. Anyway, I'm gonna stfu now. Thanks for listening, an allowing me to vent a bit.

[@klanderkal]

I was hurting, just reading your comment. I'm also suffering 24/7. Like you mentioned, being unable to do the things you loved!! And loosing the family, and members of the family. I lost it all to. I lost my career job I loved, that brought me purpose, social interaction and inspiration. I have absolutely nothing now. Just regrets and guilt. I had mental breakdowns, as I couldn't accept all the losses.. caused insomnia, anxiety and severe depression. I hate to see the sunrise in the morning now,. I feel panic, and insecure.. knowing I'm gonna be stuck suffering all day, unable to do anything I used to enjoy, and no job to look forward to.... and my health is so bad now... it's just miserable. I had to share, because I feel similar. Depression really is debilitating.

[@allthingsmusic-]

@@klanderkal I totally get it. I have had three suicide attempts over the last 20 years. I ended up sleeping on the streets for two years, and spent time in locked mental facilities. I struggle with the thoughts daily. losing everything, has such a huge impact. I have lost two marriages. Not due to any fault of mine. One, just decided that after 9 years, she wanted a change. The second one, had an affair, and then the kidnapping of my daughter. I desperately need some form of human companionship. My tear stained pillow, is evidence of that. I have never been, a "lone wolf". Being a performer, since I was in 6th grade, playing for audiences of over 30,000 people, to more intimate gigs, of less than 50. I have loved, being the one to make them smile, and forget THEIR problems, even for a few minutes. Now, I am the one, who needs the smiles, but, they aren't there, in any in-person way. Loneliness kills you inside.

[@klanderkal]

@allthingsmusic- Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that both marriages failed ,:( I, too, lost my wife. She left me for a coworker, who I knew. My heart was beyond broken. I know how it feels. I was a competitive surfer, I loved the sport so much, I won 9 state championships, and I was more of a performer outside the competitive realm. Like you,.. I had so much compassion for what I loved. Yours was music. That was taken from me in an upsetting way. It made me quit my sport all together, I had so much regret. My life was completely devastated. I lost everything. Was sleeping in my car... with anxiety and depression. My health has horribly declined. My eyesight all of a sudden started getting bad,... the Stress I had was so severe, I couldn't sleep for weeks... I just started getting 1-2 hrs a night if lucky. Sleep deprivation has made my situations so much worse. I just don't want to live another day. Everyday is suffering, from so many things. Loneliness, inability to surf, my eyesight, my career job loss, my body damage, depression, grief, guilt, regret... etc. You can't stop dwelling on whats hurting. And the devastation the losses has caused... :(

[@lailanitukuafu]

That part about passive vs active SI being more about personality and less about severity was really really significant for me. I've never ever believed that my depression was that bad, purely because I almost never experience active SI. I thought I had it easy and I was just overreacting because other people actually engage in self harm and suicide attempts while I just think a lot about it. So thank you for saying that. It means a lot.

[@Volkbrecht]

Active suicidal thoughts are in fact not part of the majority of heavy depressions, and statistically, suicide is more a male than a female thing. Deep depression can also mean that you just stop to function. Can't leave your bed, everyday activities like taking a shower or preparing a meal wear you out to the point that this is all you are capable of in a given day, if even that. So a good measure for how depressed you really are is how well you still manage in your life. Job, household, keeping contact with friends and family. For me, more than 15 years ago, a warning shot was that I couldn't get myself to leave the house one day. Went to work that day, wanted to take a train to see my GF that evening. That day I even had my luggage prepared and no real time stress, everything went smooth. Couldn't get up from my chair for the life of me. After that we made some changes to our weekend relationship, and thankfully, that episode did not repeat.

[@shirleyandrews1152]

U R so right❗️. I’m calling my doc tomorrow

[@frosticle6409]

Wow. Didn’t know I could find someone who thought very similarly to me. My main factor holding me back from active planning is because I don’t want to make people clean up the mess I leave behind. There’s no clean way to go. I want to become a psychologist to help others too. Probably not the best idea though.

[@carriesmotherman2273]

​@@frosticle6409 Why not? You would speak from experience and be better equipped to help!

[@frosticle6409]

@@carriesmotherman2273I feel I lack the empathy to be helpful.

[@TheSlipperyNUwUdle]

I’ve felt like this for years. Even just one little thing going wrong just sends me on a spiral of wanting to end it all. And I know that sounds wild but it’s the truth. Every little inconvenience makes me long for it all to end. I’m so tired of fighting and I’m so tired of trying.

[@tantuce]

You need to learn NLP. They teach anchors and quick shaking off techniques for these little occasional moments that send us off. I have 2 techniques. one is to imagine I'm a white goose and that inconvenient moment is like a splash of water that just runs off my feathers leaving me nice and dry The other - a quick, loud exclamation word/phrase when I see something unpleasant, or thought about that etc. That's a phrase from another language and I reserve it only for such moments. You shout it out at that negative thing, and this suddenness and power of it just sort of returns me back to vanilla. Sort of scares away the bad impact of what happened. Imagine a dog's bark,for example

[@tantuce]

Also, I've applied humourous phrases and an actual smile to myself when little things go wrong. I've watched a lot of children animation and comedystuff, and can easily apply some funny gesture,voice or something like "beep beep", "and now what" or broken English or a funny accent. Try that

[@_Its.Emma_]

There are many people who survived suicidal thoughts or attempts who are now happy and are living a good life and they can tell you that life gets better and it does, so don't lose hope and make sure you're there to see it. For example Jazz Thornton or recklesslyalive, see their content when you need hope. Imagine a moment in the future when you're happy and hold onto that moment with hope it will come true soon. It won't always be that hard. There are people who can help you so reach out for help.Think of all the things you have yet to do, places to visit, beautiful things to see, tv shows and movies to watch, books to read, people to meet who are going to love you and so many more. These things may not keep you forever but take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute. Stay for your future, your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, things you like to do and things that make you happy in the present and in the future. You survived every single one of your worst days and you can keep on surviving until it doesn't feel like surviving anymore but it feels like living, until you're actually exited about life and you will be one day. You are worth living and fighting for so fight until it doesn't feel like fighting. Talk to someone you trust and if you can't find that person, call a crisis or suicide hotline or talk to a therapist, there are online chats for people with mental health problems for example suicideapuk, don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please stay. This world is a better place with you in it. You matter, you're here for a reason and you are needed. I care and so do other people, who would rather listen about your problems than about your death. It'll be okay ask yourself what if it all works out?

[@stephaniesain5780]

You put the right words to exactly the way I feel.

[@Eyezick-l5z]

Have you tried catching those emotions in your mind and trying to replace them with more tempered or lighter thoughts? Every emotion replaced brings you closer to being more content at least! I apologize for presuming i can help but wanted to give what little advice I can ❤️ Try to focus on snowballing little wins into the direction you want your life to go. It seems to really help. Just take it day by day, minute by minute if you have to. But you have nothing to lose by taking a step

[@1cjwilliams]

I’m praying hard for everyone who has ever felt this way. I’m so sorry y’all experienced these things. Sending love and hugs

[@elsagrace3893]

Aww, thank you for caring.

[@KAli-dk6on]

Thank you

[@susanferretti5781]

Thank you.

[@lucky9293]

"sending love and hugs" that does literally nothing to help

[@1cjwilliams]

@@lucky9293 I know it doesn’t and I’m sorry

[@angelajames6460]

I hate my life, but im here just for my kids. They are my only reason for living

[@SylvainSybaris]

That's a very good reason... Hope you are doing well.

[@silkroad1201]

My girlfriend had these "passive" thoughts for years, mostly because of her disability. She never wore her seat belt and was very reckless near danger (like the edge of a cliff). She was always "pushing the limit". She took her own life last year. Her mental health was drastically declining near the end (I mean to the point of psychosis), and those thoughts finally caught up to her. Although a lot of people have these passive ideations, but you definitely want to watch yourself or your loved ones closely when you start to see a change in personality. It could be a lot more than a depressive episode

[@HeronCoyote1234]

Honey, I’m so sorry. It’s hard when loved ones are suffering, and, try as you might, they can’t or won’t accept your help.

[@winniecash1654]

😢 so sad

[@AleksandraKloc]

I guess it is not changing anything though I, having this exact problem you described, being like your girlfriend, your comment, your story gives me another reason to actually seek more help. Sending you love and hugs from myself and my SO. ❤

[@DrScottEilers]

I’m so sorry ❤

[@Valhalla_Heathen]

So sorry to hear about your loss my friend, may your girlfriend rest in eternal paradise! ❤️

[@TheBearStudios]

I think this is a wide spread feeling. The modern world has become far too complicated, information overload , political overload , the never ending more and more .. and more. Now age 62 I can say without any guilt that for at least 20 years I have imagined myself on the bed breathing my last gasps .. Saying to myself and to anyone else present ... " what a relief it is finally over " . Life is not what I was brought up to believe it is or would be. It is not really much fun , but we do at times have nice bits here and there.

[@DrScottEilers]

Given how many more views this video has than my typical content I would say you are absolutely correct

[@kmech3rd]

Deeply feeling this. I wish I could trade places with my elderly dad, who has many more years behind him than before him. His journey will be over soon, and I am utterly jealous.

[@katherinechase3674]

@@kmech3rd I have thought this as well. This, in particular, because I have a very small family, and he is one of the closer ones to me. This, I feel, is largely situational depression. Just one example. I had stage 4 cancer with a 35% of survival. I was 51 and my daughter 30. She wrote me a nice note, but did not visit or help in any way. She lives in LA, and I in San Diego California. Our relationship had been strained yes, but not to the point of any sort of heinous crime in either direction. For me, that is a line in the sand that feels more permanent. It is naturally depressing. Sorry for typos- having tech. probs.

[@charlesbrightman4237]

LIFE ITSELF: Consider the following: WARNING: (CONTAINS EXISTENTIAL MATTERS): * There are 3 basic options for life itself, which reduce down to 2, which reduce down to only 1: a. We truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity. b. We die trying to truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity. c. We die not trying to truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity. * 3 reduced down to 2: a. We truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity. b. We don't. And note, two out of the three options above, we die. * 2 reduced down to 1: a. We truly have some sort of actual conscious existence throughout all of future eternity. b. We truly don't have any conscious existence throughout all of future eternity. (And note, these two appear to be mutually exclusive. Only one way would be really true.) And then ask yourself the following questions: 1. Ask yourself: How exactly do galaxies form? The current narrative is that matter, via gravity, attracts other matter. The electric universe model also includes universal plasma currents. Basically, matter clumps together by some means. Modern science claims that all matter is made up of quarks, electrons and interacting energy. Quarks and electrons being considered charged particles, each with their respective magnetic field with them. Galaxies are made up of matter and interacting energy and at least some galaxies flatten out and become disc shaped. How could that occur with gravity alone? Surely probably electrical and magnetic forces are at work as well. 2. Ask yourself: How exactly do galaxies become spiral shaped in a cause and effect state of existence? At least one way would be orbital velocity of matter with at least gravity acting upon that matter, would cause a spiral shaped effect. The electric universe model also includes energy input into the galaxy, which spiral towards the galactic center, which then gets thrust out from the center, at about 90 degrees from the input. Additionally, with the conservation of energy, as energy moves into the vertical plane from the center of the horizontal plane, energy from the horisontal plane moves to the center of the horizontal plane to replace the energy that moved into the vertical plane. There is also the conservation of angular momentum. As more matter moves towards the center of the galaxy, that portion of the galaxy would speed up relative to the matter towards the outer portions of the galaxy. The inner and outer areas of the galaxy are connected via gravitational, electrical, and magnetic energy fields. While moving at the same speed, the inner area has less space to travel whereas the outer area has more space to travel. Hence a spiral shape forms. 3. Ask yourself: What does that mean for a solar system that exists in a spiral shaped galaxy? Most probably that solar system would be getting pulled toward the galactic gravitational center. 4. Ask yourself: What does that mean for species that exist on a planet, that exists in a solar system, that exists in a spiral shaped galaxy, in an apparent cause and effect state of existence? Most probably that if those species don't get off of that planet, and out of that solar system, and probably out of that galaxy too, (if it's even actually possible to do for various reasons), then they are all going to die one day from something and go extinct with probably no conscious entities left from that planet to care that they even ever existed at all in the first place, much less whatever they did and or didn't do with their time of existence. 5. Ask yourself: For those who might make it out of this galaxy, (here again, assuming it could actually be done for various reasons), where to go to next, how long to get there, how to safely land, and then, what's next? Hopefully they didn't land in another spiral shaped galaxy or a galaxy that would become spiral shaped one day, otherwise, they would have to galaxy hop through the universe to stay alive, otherwise, they still die one day from something with no conscious entities being left from the original planet to care they even ever existed at all in the first place, much less that they made it out of their own galaxy. They failed to consciously survive throughout all of future eternity. 6. Ask yourself: What exactly matters throughout all of future eternity and to whom does it exactly and eternally matter to? Either at least one species truly consciously survives throughout all of future eternity somehow, someway, somewhere, in some state of existence, even if only by a continuous succession of ever evolving species, for life itself to have continued meaning and purpose to, OR none do and life itself is all ultimately meaningless in the grandest scheme of things. Our true destiny currently appears to be: 1. We are ALL going to die one day from something. 2. We are ALL going to forget everything we ever knew and experienced. 3. We are ALL going to be forgotten one day in future eternity as if we never ever existed at all in the first place. Eternal Death 'IS' Eternal Peace. Eternal Peace awaits us all. Currently: Nature is our greatest ally in so far as Nature gives us life and a place to live it, AND Nature is also our greatest enemy that is going to take it all away. Nature does not care about us or our agendas, any of us or any of our agendas. (OSICA) * (Note: This includes the rich, powerful, and those who believe in the right to life and the sanctity of human life. God does not actually exist and Nature is not biased other than as Nature. Nature does what Nature does in a cause and effect kind of way. Truth is still truth and reality is still reality, regardless of whatever we believe that reality to be. And denying future reality will not make future reality any less real in a cause and effect state of existence. People just won't be prepared for it is all.)

[@christinadodd5780]

💯

[@middleofnowhere1313]

What is "excited about life"? The series of hardships, dangers and ongoing pain that is life is somehow exciting? Just scraping by gets harder and harder as society and the economy become ever more corrupt. The struggle is exhausting.

[@igotcha2198]

90% of the reason for SI is because living on this planet costs money. There is just no respite as everything is monetized- shelter, food, activities, family, social connections. All require you to make a payment. You simply can’t just “exist.” You have to be constantly productive, paying bills. It is a exhausting. The underlying reason for depression and SI for a lot of people is the structure of this world.

[@DivineLightPaladin]

​@@igotcha2198well, you Cannnn.... But it may not be "easier" in some sense. Living purely off grid you may not be responsible for bills but you will be responsible for feeding yourself every day which is also challenging when you're sick/disabled

[@joeygreathouse3029]

These videos seem condescending in an economic depression. Why is he acting like it's 1998?

[@gearoftones8585]

This is exactly it. It gets tiring and miserable to work all day for a crap wage that you can barely live on. Enough money simply to stay alive and exist. It's a never ending hamster wheel that just gets tiring

[@MisaRedd]

@@joeygreathouse3029for monetization because he doesn’t want be broke and SI

[@Alwaysinvisable]

I have felt this way my entire life. Even as a child. My husband on the other hand has no depression and never gets these thoughts. Even with losing a loved one or any traumatic event.

[@Amoogus]

What was the vow? For better or for worse? You need to talk about your feelings. At least in some way.

[@nudnikjeff]

I was 13 years old when I first began thinking about passive SI. I'm 75 now and still have those feelings. I'm not afraid of death, but I won't consider becoming active about it. I just plod along day after day waiting for something to happen. Thank you for this video. I never knew that it had a name.

[@murob2347]

Exactly. I just plod along, day after day. I'm not particularly unhappy all the time, but I'm also certainly not happy any of the time.

[@hazeboy8981]

Having the thought I came out from sex just makes me think y’all just disgusting beings

[@cheypam]

What made you watch this specific video?

[@debralucas9519]

​@eveie22 It was my mother "getting saaaved" that started me on the road to constant low level depression and two anxiety disorders. Keep your religious beliefs to yourself.

[@JesusistheOnlyWay222]

@@palmofgod22 AMEN 💖 I was led to study Elijah in 1 kings 19. He asked God to take his life but he wouldn't actively do it himself. . Then I'm led to this video. Life isn't easy for anyone (even as a Christian) but there is an answer ☝️🙇🏻‍♀️👐

[@MrJamiez]

Imagine being so emotionally lost that you can't even cry, even if you wanted to? To even lose the ability to cry, is true despair..

[@denitsamladenova7230]

That's me since the age of 6

[@AnahlyEstrella]

Just feeling it hurt in your soul and being almost numb to it while feeling the pain but not having the mental energy or emotional capacity to actually cry. Just lost and hurt.

[@mylittlepitbull3143]

Or crying all the time for no reason

[@williamwallcroft2559]

Yeah, what's up with that really? The other day I tried, and couldn't get the tears out. Kind of needed that release.

[@christiangerlach2747]

I hurt my self today to see if I still feel... Man I love Johnny Cash. Sorry that you're experiencing a lack of ability to cry. I am having the opposite experience. 😢 I cry Way to damn much

[@sharonbyars3493]

I’m 81 and I’ve thought about this since I was 21..I’ve been widowed twice and both were long, drawn out. I’m exhausted but now I’m pretty much house/bed bound. I can no longer do any fun things like gardening. I’m bored out of my mind. And I’m in pain but I don’t trust the medical people…they always make it worse. I do a lot of herbals and would love to try mushroom but good luck with that..thanks for listening 👵🏻

[@Sofia-dh4hx]

Would it help you to read the bible? Or maybe listen to some NDEs(near death experiences)? The NDEs have given me lots of comfort in my desperate time..Can not even imagine how you feel of course, but I wish you well.

[@peterjakob5460]

Sending a warm hug to you.

[@inrecluse]

ideas for "fun things": - reading (try short stories until you find one you really like, then go for the author's books) - film/series streaming (Netflix, etc.) - video games (PS 5, etc, you'd probably just need someone to help you set it up & teach you how it works)

[@jjtonks5005]

I don't know you, but I want you to know that you are fucking awesome.

[@LacedWaffle]

You sound like an awesome and strong woman. Gardening is so fun, and I am sorry to hear you haven't been up to it and bored out of your mind. Maybe you can look or ask around if there are any groups you can join, maybe a gardening group where you help the community? Or if you like animals, volunteer somewhere with animals, perhaps. Its never too late to pick up a hobbie either! Like drawing, photography, or even fishing haha. I wish the best for you and hope you go and pick up a couple plants and get to work! Much luv😉

[@larab4999]

This video…described exactly the reason why I fight against medication. My family are understandably upset that I am so depressed, and they continuously tell me to go on medication; however, I have always been adamant that is not the answer to what I believe is the reason I feel so empty. I’m going to show them this video which will hopefully help them understand. I wasn’t able to successfully articulate it before, so I’m extremely grateful this man has done it for me. We were created for a more simpler life than what modern day society has moulded for us. To have love, real life connections and family, purpose, health and spiritual fulfilment. I truly believe our mind, body and soul cannot be truly satisfied unless we have these.

[@kaitybell]

I have never heard this term before but this is exactly it. I am in tears and haven't even gotten fully through his question 2. I will never be active, only passive for all of the reasons listed. It's so reassuring to know that I'm not alone. That when my therapists and other mental health specialists ask me if I'm suicidal, answering "Yes, but I would never do anything about it" is 100% accurate and I can now give a largely accepted term for it.

[@brendac.6567]

I am the same too. Now I have a term, but is hard to talk to people of it.

[@bossyboots5000]

Just wanted to add that you have to be very careful saying something like that to a therapist or psych doctor. Because you said you were suicidal - the other part doesn't matter by their protocol - they could restrict your medications (such as only allowing you to pick up 1 week's work of medications at a time - which is maddeningly tedious and inconvenient), they could change your medications or enforce you take them, they could have you committed to a psychiatric hospital, or demand other changes to your behavior or surveillance of it. A lot of places are mandatory reporters. That means they have to both report and take action if they think you are a danger to yourself. So you have to really, really, really know and trust your therapist/psych doc before you answer that way or you could find yourself in a bad situation that doesn't match your actual symptoms. For example, I just started seeing a new therapist (3 weeks). There's no way in hell I am telling her I'm having passive SI this early in the relationship. I don't want to find myself suddenly trapped in a psych ward because I brought it up. I monitor my symptoms and if I feel like I'm moving toward the active side and need help, I'll tell someone. But meanwhile, every general and specialist doctor that asks "are you depressed?" gets the same answer: "yes, we all are: the world is on fire." And any psychiatric doctor or therapist who asks "do you have thoughts of harming yourself/are you suicidal?"gets the simple answer "No." Not to scare you. Just to warn people from experience. Sometimes being naively open with a statement like that can have very negative consequences. You never know how "trigger happy" some physicians will be with committing someone.

[@Nerobyrne]

@@bctesla imagine not even taking the time to watch the video but feeling you can make authoritative statements anyway

[@Nerobyrne]

@@bossyboots5000 well this is some messed up shit. Not being able to tell your doctor about real medical symptoms is fucked up. I'm not saying you're wrong for not doing it, I'm saying the system is broken.

[@skythedragon7897]

​@@Nerobyrne it took me almost a year to finally explain this to my current therapist. Even then, it was a long and awkward conversation

[@cansylmaz6]

i cried watching this. it really hurts sometimes

[@SeventhSky1]

Holy Quran 29:64 وَمَا هَٰذِهِ الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا لَهْوٌ وَلَعِبٌ ۚ وَإِنَّ الدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ لَهِيَ الْحَيَوَانُ ۚ لَوْ كَانُوا يَعْلَمُونَ And this life of the world is only amusement and play! Verily, the home of the Hereafter, that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew

[@_Its.Emma_]

There are many people who survived suicidal thoughts or attempts who are now happy and are living a good life and they can tell you that life gets better and it does, so don't lose hope and make sure you're there to see it. For example Jazz Thornton or recklesslyalive, see their content when you need hope. Imagine a moment in the future when you're happy and hold onto that moment with hope it will come true soon. It won't always be that hard. There are people who can help you so reach out for help.Think of all the things you have yet to do, places to visit, beautiful things to see, tv shows and movies to watch, books to read, people to meet who are going to love you and so many more. These things may not keep you forever but take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute. Stay for your future, your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, things you like to do and things that make you happy in the present and in the future. You survived every single one of your worst days and you can keep on surviving until it doesn't feel like surviving anymore but it feels like living, until you're actually exited about life and you will be one day. You are worth living and fighting for so fight until it doesn't feel like fighting. Talk to someone you trust and if you can't find that person, call a crisis or suicide hotline or talk to a therapist, there are online chats for people with mental health problems for example suicideapuk, don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please stay. This world is a better place with you in it. You matter, you're here for a reason and you are needed. I care and so do other people, who would rather listen about your problems than about your death. It'll be okay ask yourself what if it all works out?

[@SyoDraws]

It certainly does hurt. You're not alone in this.

[@ALove-df9iu]

You’re important and you are loved in this life. Please don’t give up.

[@absinthealice]

For anyone reading this, please know this... A 56 year old woman living in Massachusetts loves you, believes in you, and is proud of you. I had to learn how to love myself, and it took a long time, but I love me now. And I love you too. ❤🫂❤️‍🩹

[@lovefilles]

I am so grateful to not have acted on my active suicidal ideation as I was young. I had it planned with time and place. I really am grateful.

[@awg7068]

I attempted at 8, but survived. I've tried to not act on it since, but it's very difficult when things go wrong. It feels like I live with it as an escape plan.

[@winterwulf1995]

Mines December 25 2024

[@jozenthejozarian2564]

In the sage words of John Mellencamp "Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone"

[@katejones2172]

That's very profound

[@SDS-ee9js]

That’s been my life for the past 7 years or so.

[@suzieq4853]

I’ve had this in my mind for so long. So much so That’s my ringtone

[@lynnebee47]

Exactly! At age 76, 7 years post retirement, my days are spent sitting in my chair, looking at my iPad, getting progressively physically weaker. Without my career there is nothing to live for. My children are in their 50’s, my 2 grandchildren are getting ready to go off to university. They are all busy with their lives and don’t need me. But my husband needs me as a domestic support so I carry on for his sake. But personally I feel like I’m in God’s waiting room, and I’m ready to go.😊

[@bluebirdsoftballcookie]

Lol

[@smokejaguar67]

I have felt this way all my adult life and I'm 56 now, and I am still here. Something that helps me is a quote, a simple but effective quote. "it is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti 👍

[@miken2976]

I have had that quote on my fridge for many years..

[@cetkat]

I really like that.. I definitely agree.

[@basketballover411]

Some wise fucking words old man hang in there 💪🏽

[@SamuelGlover]

I feel this way all the time. I just hate everything about myself and everyone is saying change something about your life. I’m like only if you really knew. 5 years ago I wrote my suicide note and at the train tracks waiting for a train to show up to put my car in front of it. I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why but I can’t do it. I still want to several years later. No one believes me when I talk about my pain.

[@cetkat]

@@SamuelGlover I believe you. The reality is, you can't think yourself out of your brain not working right. Like.. if you're drunk, you can't think yourself sober. The chemicals (neurotransmitters) are off. Behavior changes can only do so much. It's a proven fact that you need a certain baseline for therapy to work. Being suicidal like you are doesn't meet that line. Talking helps with situations, mentally monitoring how you are, and creating behavioral control "hacks". But won't actually improve the underlying depression. I will say, please don't use your car. It can derail a train. You don't want to hurt others. I also suggest trying medications. It doesn't change your personality like people think. There are new ones if you've tried before and it didn't work. The quality of the doctor matters too. Some are better than others.

[@METALADIX]

I just dont want to exist. No major trauma in my past and i'm overall well off financially. I just have no interest in going anywhere, doing anything or meeting anyone. I cant connect with people nor do i want to. I simply exist and lack the courage to see myself out. Im only still walking this earth because of fear.

[@ONEYEDPiRAT]

Me too! I'm sorry for the hate that landed on you and everyone else. I threw some ugly stuff at the world at everyone and I'm truly sorry!

[@barb7124]

Do you like animals or the environment? If you have some money but no real passion, and you dont really like people, maybe do a bit of work for a non-people charity. It helps to find something, anything, to make life worth living.

[@arminislam6805]

I dunno if i should say it..bt the fact that u said there wasn't any major trauma in ur past , and yet u feel this way..kinda made me feel relieved..like everything's pretty well off with me as well..bt still i wish i could disappear into thin air..

[@Sasha-hh3xi]

Me 2

[@amberfitz-randolph392]

​@@arminislam6805of course you dont have to answer this publicly but could you be minimizing your own trauma do you think? If im not misunderstanding your comment, it sounds like you say yep there was some "minor" or not very serious traumatic things yet you have worse symptoms than what youd expect from such "barely significant" trauma. To use domestic violence in sexual relationships as an example since i have experience with that, your comments remind me of the years i spent swearing "its not that bad i mean he only hit me with a metal object once" so i dont feel justified seeking help. Must be defective myself to be so shaken by one incident, if i hadnt pissed him off it would not have happened, other men and women are literally getting daily beatings so this isnt "that bad" by comparison. Let me tell you hon its been a decade since he hit me in my sleep but i promise if you threw a damn kleenex or something at me as im laying in bed i will often still freak out. 🫂

[@TehAnshiTunes]

😮 This is a THING?!? Ive dealt with this my entire life. TBF: Im diagnosed BPD and PTSD. And I stopped being ACTIVE years ago. But the PASSIVE has lingered.

[@Angry_Dinosaur]

My wife passed away two and a half years ago. I admit to just waiting to die. They gave me medication for depression. It didn't work. Sometimes depression from mourning can't be treated with the normal medications you just go numb with it and not properly process it confront the feelings. A broken heart should actually be a diagnosis.

[@angel5423]

😢🙏🏼 I'm so sorry for your loss

[@nancycianchetta4831]

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my husband and many other friends/family in the last 5 years. My husband was my greatest loss, the pain gets more bearable as time goes on. Hang in there.❤

[@Angry_Dinosaur]

@@nancycianchetta4831 Thanks. I didn't expect to get replies on this.

[@Angry_Dinosaur]

@@angel5423 Thanks

[@kyoshai]

There actually has been studies that prove a broken heart can make drastic changes to the body. A broken heart can't be fixed with a pill & it happens to almost everyone, therefore it doesn't align with capitalism & won't become a diagnosis. It would also force companies to acknowledge they have to be respectful of people's loss & possibly give them more than 3 days of bereavement (everyone handles things differently). It'll stay thrown under the umbrella of depression. Many prefer to encourage people to experiment with things that can be sold in order to find what "works" or "fixes" the feelings. I'm sorry for your loss & the pain you feel from it. Saying I wish you healing seems rude since when most say it, it usually implies they hope you stop feeling what you're feeling. I personally believe it makes it seem as if it's a problem that you grieve. I don't think it is. People don't stop acknowledging their loss but maybe just stop doing it as often (no telling exactly what goes on in people's minds), or talking about it bc they don't want people to worry. This isn't how it should be. There should be support & understanding. I do wish you the best in living a fulfilled life & hope your best moments with her can provide you joy in your lifetime.

[@MrStrocube]

Yes, I’m suffering and I just want it to stop.

[@ascgazz]

Same.

[@i.hold.vertigo2329]

The best advice I ever got was just finding ways to cope. Doesn't matter what it is, just keep exploring options that can help you, because it won't stop. You can't choose to not suffer on a dime. You do have a good amount of control in how you respond to your suffering.

[@_Its.Emma_]

There are many people who survived suicidal thoughts or attempts who are now happy and are living a good life and they can tell you that life gets better and it does, so don't lose hope and make sure you're there to see it. For example Jazz Thornton or recklesslyalive, see their content when you need hope. Imagine a moment in the future when you're happy and hold onto that moment with hope it will come true soon. It won't always be that hard. There are people who can help you so reach out for help.Think of all the things you have yet to do, places to visit, beautiful things to see, tv shows and movies to watch, books to read, people to meet who are going to love you and so many more. These things may not keep you forever but take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute. Stay for your future, your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, things you like to do and things that make you happy in the present and in the future. You survived every single one of your worst days and you can keep on surviving until it doesn't feel like surviving anymore but it feels like living, until you're actually exited about life and you will be one day. You are worth living and fighting for so fight until it doesn't feel like fighting. Talk to someone you trust and if you can't find that person, call a crisis or suicide hotline or talk to a therapist, there are online chats for people with mental health problems for example suicideapuk, don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please stay. This world is a better place with you in it. You matter, you're here for a reason and you are needed. I care and so do other people, who would rather listen about your problems than about your death. It'll be okay ask yourself what if it all works out?

[@joedixon18]

Me too

[@HarmonicWave]

I'm not suicidal, but I often get depressed. For me it's mostly about two things he mentioned. 1. Not having time to really use my gifts and talents (my passions) because I'm too busy working full time to pay the bills and taking care of daily stuff like grocery shopping and resolving small problems. 2. My wife and I don't have children 12 years into our marriage because of her health issues and I always knew I was meant to be a father. I knew marrying her meant that we likely wouldn't have children but I didn't want to let her go. She's often depressed because that's a symptom of her health issues, which also makes me depressed because I wish I could do more to help her.

[@Livefullydotnet]

Consider adopting. I will say having an autoimmune disease and kids is suffering. It’s so hard man. Weeks without sleep. Non stop chasing rabbits. Be careful what you wish for. I wish you peace.

[@nobodysgirl7972]

Definitely agree with point No 1. Paying bills and doing daily life stuff takes so much time. For No 2 I wish you the best

[@maryhamm6970]

Maybe consider adoption?

[@mashakalinkina7207]

ADOPT. So many kids already exist who Desperately need homes.

[@tnt01]

A pet is a nice companion. Of course, not the same as a child but very comforting and brings happiness.

[@sarafalk2962]

I've dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and I've felt for a long time that I've been coping quite well. However, my husband has been urging me to seek medical attention due to my especially low depressive episodes and Passive SI. I did genuinely believe that because it was passive and I have a respect for my life and a desire never to hurt others that it isn't as serious as if I were to have Active SI. Your video has changed my mind. I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor today.

[@eabw0708]

I had no idea other people felt this way, until a couple weeks ago when I saw an interview where a woman was talking about feeling like this. I was shocked! I'm 50, and I have a pretty good life. I've never been physically abused and had ok parents. I have great kids and a good husband... But... I have felt like this everyday for the last 30 years. I've never told anyone.

[@avagadroa4065]

I am 50. Same situation. Wonderful family. Good job. I think about it every day.

[@hardlines2635]

Same, I was at a wedding recently where everyone went to the top of an ancient tower for a photo shoot, all I could think about was jumping off.

[@dougrogan379]

​@hardlines2635 that's called an intrusive thought or more specifically the call-of-the-void, I think it's a little different but what you experience could be ideation if you are depressed

[@lailanitukuafu]

Yeah, it's hard sometimes to feel like your struggles and/or depression are valid when you haven't experienced the most well-known forms of trauma. I grew up with a loving family and I was never bullied or treated outright badly by my peers in school. I've never been abused in any way and I've had a pretty good life. So I never thought I had trauma. But I found out very recently that social neglect is a form of trauma and I have ABSOLUTELY experienced that. So just because you have a good life doesn't mean that your feelings are invalid.

[@Suellen22]

@@hardlines2635😱What😱

[@cjboyo]

I have been in the psych ward six separate times. I had continuous passive suicidal ideation for years. I am finally finding healing and it’s been two years since I have been suicidal. I have occasional intrusive suicidal thoughts, however they no longer distress me like they used to. If you’re reading this and feel like life isn’t worth living, please know you can heal too. You can find things to live for. Recovery is a long slow journey, but it’s SO worth it.

[@hiimnotreal]

hope this isn’t an offensive question but why were you in the psych ward if it was only passive suicidal ideation? the only times i’ve been admitted were after i attempted. also glad you’re doing better now, wishing you the best in your recovery journey

[@cjboyo]

@@hiimnotreal Passive SI can turn into active SI very quickly

[@CamelliaFlingert]

and what if my country doesn't have any good therapists who can help? you can't answer on this question, only suffer or die

[@tparker4458]

@@cjboyodo you mind sharing what changed and what helped turn your life around? Super proud and happy for you !! ❤

[@freedomishavingachoice3020]

I don't tell anyone anymore. It's not worth the medical debt.

[@jazmo6662]

I felt like this for a very long time until I had a blood test and it was discovered that my blood count was very low in iron, B12 & Folic Acid. I was taken in to Hospital Emergency and given 6 Units of blood and Iron infusions until my blood counts were back up into the normal ranges. This was administered over the period of 5 days. The change in my mood was almost instant. My depression & Passive suicidal thoughts disappeared! Since then I have been keeping an eye on my diet and making sure that I'm eating nutritionally dense foods & Taking supplements. My Blood counts have remained high and have actually increased a bit since leaving hospital. My outlook has completely changed. I am interested in life again, I'm making plans, I can & want to tidy my home. My Advice, If there are any people out there who are suffering with the symptoms being described in this video, in the state of misery and no longer want to live, go get your blood levels checked for Iron, B12, and Folic Acid first. If you are not suffering from low levels then at least you know your depression is not based on a vitamin or mineral deficiency.

[@BadBoyBobby85]

Wow, I recently had very similar stats and anemia and never mentioned depression as a symptom. I had low energy which caught it and I avoided the hospital but now wonder if they (vitamin levels) are related to mood more so than serotonin

[@ferociousfeind8538]

Wow, that's fascinating. It's not exactly surprising that general nutritional levels, and levels of health (low blood cell count is not healthy) could tie in with mental health, but tying in so strongly like the way you describe is, well, striking. There are certainly many things you can try to get that feeling of emptiness out of your head, and fill the hole.

[@vanillablossom]

Oh, idk about iron and folic acid, but I'm probably again low on b12 and d3, especially that I recently have troubles eating (or getting out of bed) and the supplements are to be taken with food, not on empty stomach. No food, no supplements. It's like I'm not existing until you look at me. When I don't need to go out, I'm... not there. In my bed, doing nothing. If I do need to get out, I'm able to force myself to wash myself, put clean clothes on, prepare anything else to go out. Most of the times, but sometimes I do miss some details.

[@dawnjohnson8739]

Thank you for writing about this! Sooooo important!😊

[@corpsehandler5321]

ah, Schroedinger's @@vanillablossom [nod]

[@hannahshmulsky7119]

Thank you so much for covering this topic! ❤ I’ve had bouts of depression since childhood, but it took hold after I lost my career as a lab scientist in the pharmaceutical industry due to chronic illness…they fired me when I was on an upswing. At the end it was because both my knees blew out and I literally couldn’t access my workstation (no elevator, only stairs). No one supported or encouraged me to get a lawyer, I went straight onto disability and from success to poverty. Physical pain, discomfort, relocation, isolation from my entire friend group, loss of independence, vulnerability to abuse from family (which made my physical illness worse)…I’ve had frequent episodes of passive SI since then. It’s been over a decade since that happened and I’ve never really found my place again. I keep grasping for a purpose and it eludes me over and over again. Lost a relationship of 5 years because he couldn’t accept that I wasn’t an earner, guess it took him awhile to figure that out. I don’t see anything to look forward to. But I do get told often that I would devastate the people who know me if I ever ended my life. I have no stomach for violence. And on the few occasions where I’ve made gestures, I haven’t been able to harm myself. I just…can’t. Something seems to be deeply ingrained in my brain that stops me. I’ve been voluntarily hospitalized for my SI three times in 20 years, each time lasting no longer than 5 days. The interpersonal theory seems to make total sense in my case.

[@klanderkal]

I have to reply. I too was completely Devastated!.. when I lost my dream career job. I finally achieved the license to become a City bus driver. I've always hoped for one day. It was everything to me, and inspired me to become the best person I could be. I had hobbies, activities and so many interests I'd share with coworkers and close friends at work. Then,.. I made a HUGE foolish mistake... and at first, jeopardized my job. That' alone brought extreme stress and insomnia. Which worsened my condition and ..... I lost my job. I went into severe depression. I lost everything when I lost my job... you know .! You're purpose, identity, etc.... I've collapsed many times, had countless panic attacks,.. I lost the want to live, because I just suffer. I have do much guilt and regret. My physical health has took a dive too now. I'm so unable to go anywhere or do anything. My sleep deprivation is so bad, and of course... is bad for the health. I noticed my eyesight started getting blurry,.. and it's gotten so bad,.. I can't see. I'm so devastated. I feel only someone experiencing the same could understand...😢💔⛓️

[@ChorltonandtheWheelies]

I just wish I could start again. This wasn't supposed to be my life but I've left it far too late to change my life in the way that I need. I have vivid dreams most nights that start off really good but even though the dreams are all different - they all end in the same way - I get lost in the dream as in - I miss a train, plane etc etc - I can't get home. It doesn't take a physc to work out what they mean, I want to go home but home doesn't exist for me anymore. There's a lot of sad people in this comment section, I wish I could wave a magic wand and heal you all. I hope your life's get better.

[@erickotapish7842]

I’m 36 years old now I’m still doing the same thing o did in high school….. I deal with tons of depression now I’m diagnosed bipolar manic depression so lately I have been having tons of thoughts about death and dying not so suicidal but just death in general .. to the point where I’m watching videos of people dying and after death phenomenon what people see…. I know there is nothing after u die …. But turns out that now I’m addicted to stimulants I have been on adderall since I was as a kid been on it my whole life I take very high doses some day almost 200 mg … my insurance just changed so I needed a pre authorization for the insurance to pay for my meds I went 4 days with nothing…. I got incredibly sick I vomit diarrhea I actually went to the er they told me nothing was wrong with me…. I ended up buying some blow to ease the pain a little not my best moment…. So it is what it is I won’t tell my doctor she will take my meds away for sure… idk what to do anymore …. Idk I’m just venting to a total stranger …u probably won’t even read this ….. but writing all this to u makes me feel a little better …. So thank u 😊

[@heatherhorton8252]

@@erickotapish7842oh please do your best to stay away from blow, such nasty stuff. Good luck with meds. Maybe it is time to see a new Dr. and try different doses. I know it will take forever to see Dr. these days but please try. I am twice your age. I really believe when meds are balanced there is hope. Please don’t give up. Remember, the smell of rain, a full moon, the love of a pet..these are worth living for. My heart broke to read your story. Yes it is crazy, all of us on utube comments, but heck we are only human after all.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

I have recurrent black and white dreams in which I try to find my house, but can’t. By the way, the “this wasn’t supposed to be my life” probably goes for most of us. So many talented, intelligent, sensitive people fall by the wayside through mental health struggles.

[@Bob-b7x6v]

Why can we not be sober Just want to start this over Why can't we drink forever Just want to start this over

[@Leannot35]

​@@erickotapish7842yes I get it

[@Medicae131]

The bit you said about not being in an actively suicidal mindset because of people who depend on you really hit home with me. I take care of my Mom full time and struggled with depression and suicide for several years. I knew I would never kill myself outright though because it would utterly devastate mom. Its exactly what you said; I didn't want to be the one to do it, but I genuinely wished someone else would. I've been doing better for a while now, but sometimes I'll have short relapses into that depressive state.

[@viviandarkbloom100]

My Mom finally passed in April and I feel now with no purpose. It's hard.

[@crystalshadesoflightworker]

Take care. You matter! Your loss would bring up lots of feelings you may need quite some time to process, and may even need help with that. Talking to others if they are supportive may help. Journalling can also help to connect with feelings. Listen to music that moves you literally. Find ways to get out and move. Try new things or things you haven't done for along time, perhaps due to your recent responsibilities. Try to find some joy. Make a list of glimmers (things that bring you moments of joy) and triggers that you put up to help you when you are overwhelmed so as it uses little brain power to find tools to help shift your state. Please, above all, seek additional help if you feel you need it. You are going through alot right now. Be kind and gentle with yourself every chance you get. Take care.❤

[@nathanblue]

Hurting my parents and siblings was the only thing that prevented me from ending my life in the few times I attempted to do it before. Now that my mom has dementia and my dad is the sole provider in the family because I’ve been chronically ill, I don’t see myself ever hurting them by ending my own misery so PSI is the only thing I’m going to struggle with for now. I’m thinking that all these medical conditions I’m dealing with will take care of my life’s ending sooner than later.

[@fattidiliberta]

same here. for a long long time ---

[@MaryVerhomi]

Yeah, my thoughts are 'my parents are still alive. No patents should see their children to die'. So I know that I won't attempt in the near future. I'm not going after either, I think, but it's like some line I need to cross before thinking it for real

[@nickxcore74]

I’ve always suffered with depression, but since the loss of my Mum who I lost at the end of October last year I have to say that I feel like this most days. I’m genuinely tired and fed up with this world, it’s a horrible place in which you might get brief moments of happiness if you’re lucky, but on the whole life is pain and suffering.

[@ericdraven3654]

Sorry to hear. If l Lost my mom I would be definetively aimless. She is the main reasons why I am still alive.

[@lndrstrl]

i’m so sorry about your mom how’re you holding up? was your week good?

[@kimberlymcdonald9419]

I am sorry I know just how you feel I have suffered depression most of my life and lost my mother too it will be a year the end of the month all I can do is just hang in there and hope things will get better I wish you the best ❤

[@rubyred1ism]

I understand. I lost my mom April 2022, and a sister in 2023. They are the only people who have known me my entire life and now they're both gone, and I'm feeling more alone than ever. I have my Dad, and half siblings and we have a good relationship but it doesn't feel the same. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

[@divinelightlounge]

It's so fascinating to me how many views and comments are here but how taboo this is in day to day talk with others offline. I wish that this topic be spoken about freely so people don't feel alienated by these feelings. Clearly this is common and nobody should be feeling alone or ashamed for these feelings. I think that dr. Scott is doing amazing work by bringing the light to this. 💜

[@fanofentropy2280]

I'm in my mid 50's and the thing that comforts me is that it will end sooner rather than latter.

[@mdixon4212]

I feel this way every single night, think about dying or wanting not wake up in the morning has become like a dark mantra or habitual. it's strangely comforting to me.

[@randallsmerna384]

​@@mdixon4212I understand this but it brings me angst because I have so much shit that my children would have to deal with. I want to get rid of most of my possessions first - of which I have way too much.

[@George-v5c5n]

I'm same male late 50's marriage broke down last year (after 22yr) embarrassed breaking down all the time and my dog is the only thing saving me...I'm even starting to think about just taking him with me.

[@jeanine6328]

That’s exactly how I feel.

[@RachelSantiago816]

Same

[@shawnmercado2219]

Lost my job 7 years into (what i thought) was a great career as a software engineer. 1 year later, after 1000+ applications, and no interviews. I'm in financial ruin, nearly homeless and completely alone. Therapy/ Healthcare is not an option in my state with no insurance and no money. And even if it were, everything is so bad at this point, that even the thought of trying to get better and beat depression is terrifying. I'm more afraid of living for years and being miserable and shamed than i am of dying.

[@MongoSlade84]

Keep persevering brother. Never give up.

[@johnnybutler4465]

Me too.

[@osominor419]

How are things now? I pray that things are better, lots of love to ya bro.

[@shawnmercado2219]

@@osominor419 well i'm not dead yet. Nothing changed really.

[@MeadowDay]

@@shawnmercado2219🙏🏻❤️. Keep on keeping on…change will come

[@MyCatholicBookNook]

It’s scary when you know what you need to be happy and stable, but it’s impossible due to the economy and society we live in. I lost everything I worked so hard for due to the pandemic. That means I have to let go of and mourn what I will never have again, then find something new to fill the black hole. It’s really hard. I cannot let myself hope for what cannot be because that’s fruitless, so it’s a painful process of finding a whole new identity and purpose, but hopefully I can slowly make a shift and years from now look back on this time as a tuning point and not an endpoint.

[@lalashowers]

I mean black holes eventually evaporate., even if it takes a long time. And without change, there wouldn't be butterflies!🦋 You got this! ☺️

[@imabusiness1716]

oh i understand wot u mean about losing evrything after the pandemic. i am 68yo now 69 net month & havent enuff life left 2 recuperate wot the pandemic did 2 my life. BUT ... sumthing real positive happened today...so hopefully have hit rock bottom ... so now i am goin 2 bounce back up. cos it couldnt have gotten any worse. but @ least i have my health. although for 3 1/2 yrs from april 2020 (just after lockdown started. i woke up with it ) till july 2023 i developed a bursitis in my right arm(am right handed) and cried in my sleep evry nite & was miserable nearly 24hrs a day. it went as quik as it came. moving several times due 2 pandemic didnt help/lifting too heavy things. and not working for 13 months didnt help. just woke up with it that morning in april 2020 then woke up without that morning in july 2023 had nothing to do but think about that pain. dont know wot caused it. dont know wot cured it. not sick just in constant pain. just in the arm. no otha part of body. plus i would not take medication/pain killers/ sleeping pills as knew so many people that needed a pill 2 get out of bed & a pill 2 get into bed. but i survived. so now feel if i can survive that i can survive anything.

[@angelawoodward2259]

The questions at the end of your talk are the ones I asked myself several months ago. The severe depression I experience is due to the situation of my life at present. And that situation I can do nothing about except pray and push forward. I have accepted that the medications I have been on for many years have no effect. due to the issues involving insurance and how doctors must abide by regulations determined by insurance companies, I’ve twice been in horrible withdrawal states. So, I’ve taken myself off the stuff entirely. I ABSOLUTELY do not recommend this. I am 82. Hopefully, you who may see this are younger and you’ve got a better chance for things to turn around than I do. And if you are younger, please do NOT remain in an abusive relationship! Do NOT think the other person will change. Do NOT think that if you change YOUR way of seeing things that the relationship will improve. Do NOT isolate …hide your black eyes…pretend everything is all right to your family and friends. Do not blame your depression on why things are going so very wrong. You are a valid person, depressed or not. We do not choose depression, just as we do not choose deafness or blindness, etc. I truly thought that continuing in hope that things would turn around for the better was the Christian thing to do. Forgiving, and forgiving ad infinitum! I always said,”I’m sorry!” I always took the blame. I always let him off the hook. Now, I am very ashamed of myself….I think I wrote that somewhere before! This is a serious plea that you choose to value your life. Truly. You deserve to be respected, honored and loved!

[@nana820able]

I agree with you completely. Wish I'd have removed myself 30 years ago when I had the chance. Good luck to you.

[@HeyLetsTalkAboutIt]

As a first responder with PTSD, I want to thank you for sharing this. I’ve been having some intrusive thoughts recently and I mentioned it to my therapist the other day. You are so honest with your own mental health and that is very refreshing to see. Especially from a medical professional.

[@dancinglightning1987]

Thank you for helping people. Come scoop me up if you have time 😄

[@DrScottEilers]

Thank you. I’ve worked with a couple first responders. You guys have seen a side of this world most cannot imagine ❤

[@HeyLetsTalkAboutIt]

@@DrScottEilers it’s not easy but it’s so rewarding. I’m currently also training to become a hypnotherapist. Thank you for your videos. They are great.

[@jessegee179]

I Understand, you can’t unsee things x

[@HeyLetsTalkAboutIt]

@@jessegee179 I have pictures and memories in my head that people wouldn’t believe. I’m thankful I have an amazing family, an amazing partner, and an amazing mental health team.

[@helent5518]

I don't feel miserable. I don't think I'm unlucky. I wasn't mistreated, traumatized, or experienced anything that 'damaged' me. But I always cried myself to sleep because I hated how I wanted to end it all. I try to lose myself in books, music, sleep, gossips, so I won't think about it. I have plans if I ever decided but I can't because my life isn't mine alone. I have my mom, my brothers and my sister. My smiles, laughter, efforts and future are for them. I'm tired.

[@chilledmonkeybrains6199]

Yeah, I can't leave either. Sux.

[@Project_KN1GHT]

Yessss. This is so real. I have had, by all measures, a good life. Yet I’m miserable. And I’ve had so many people act like I can’t possibly be depressed because my life is perfect. But guess what? It could be genetic. It could be something you didn’t realize hurt you at the time but still affected you.

[@SylvainSybaris]

See? You have many good reasons to live & enjoy this life.... When I'm feeling sad & miserable, I get in my Camper-Van and spend a year driving all over America & Canada.... Been traveling for many years on & off, and so far I have toured 48 states & half of Canada.... Soon to drive across the country again and this time up to Alaska and then back to Florida... Should take a good year on the road.

[@_Its.Emma_]

There are many people who survived suicidal thoughts or attempts who are now happy and are living a good life and they can tell you that life gets better and it does, so don't lose hope and make sure you're there to see it. For example Jazz Thornton or recklesslyalive, see their content when you need hope. Imagine a moment in the future when you're happy and hold onto that moment with hope it will come true soon. It won't always be that hard. There are people who can help you so reach out for help.Think of all the things you have yet to do, places to visit, beautiful things to see, tv shows and movies to watch, books to read, people to meet who are going to love you and so many more. These things may not keep you forever but take it day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute. Stay for your future, your dreams, your interests, your hobbies, things you like to do and things that make you happy in the present and in the future. You survived every single one of your worst days and you can keep on surviving until it doesn't feel like surviving anymore but it feels like living, until you're actually exited about life and you will be one day. You are worth living and fighting for so fight until it doesn't feel like fighting. Talk to someone you trust and if you can't find that person, call a crisis or suicide hotline or talk to a therapist, there are online chats for people with mental health problems for example suicideapuk, don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please stay. This world is a better place with you in it. You matter, you're here for a reason and you are needed. I care and so do other people, who would rather listen about your problems than about your death. It'll be okay ask yourself what if it all works out?

[@klh6977]

My SI is only passive right now and not active for 2 reasons: 1. My dog 2. I’m a perfectionist that feels like I’m an F up, so I’m scared of making an attempt and not being “successful “ and just end up sick, permanently messed up, or humiliated when found and it didn’t work. I pray every night to not wake up the never morning.

[@swizzamane8775]

Nice fake story. "My SI[...] I pray". Suicide is against your religion. You pretend to be afflicted by something real in other people. And for 5 whole Likes?? How sad. Thankfully many others seen right through your infantile bs, but I won't stand by and not have it called out

[@TheR00k]

I've got mine figured out, it's just about better planning. Don't think i can leave my dog yet, even though she doesn't love me.

[@TraciWest-MYBODYMYMINDMYLIFE]

@hkl6977 What is your dog's name? Therapy usually helps when you feel internally misguided. I hope you feel better soon. Fortunately, people who care about people receiving proper healthcare actually exist. @RepDanCrenshaw @unitednations

[@elizabethtovar3603]

@TheR00K It’s impossible for a dog 🐕 to not love its owner. Even when owners abuse them, the dog (or cat) perpetually craves the attention and love of the owner. Maybe your dog is trying to get your attention and you are missing it. Take him for a walk and spend some time with your dog. You’ll see her love for you.

[@LisaThames17]

I’m sorry. Hi

[@digivinylproductions7166]

I think I honestly can say I have no hope for the first time in my life. I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I have no partner. I have no children. I lost my job, and 1000 applications deep with no offers, 6 months later, all my money is dried up. Bipolar, major depressive treatment resistant depression. Yea. I’m disappointed, even angry and literally in pain, every time I wake up. I would rather fade out and experience nothing at all than to feel like this. I don’t belong here. Why should I force myself to drag through this hell and suck up resources and pollute the air for people who don’t feel so bitter and hopeless. I shouldn’t be here, and I wish I’d disappear

[@Cognitoman]

You in the tech field? Anyways, I hope we can be happy again

[@ramsesjfg7668]

You could certainly lay off some of the negativity, because saying "I don't belong here" based on your own suffering is not a logical thing to say, considering it's all part of the human condition. That being said, I do relate to what you said, especially the part about sending many job applications with no offers. I've recently felt very guilty about not sending as many applications as I was previously, but it's been almost a year of the same bullshit, so who can blame me? What truly makes me feel hopeless however, is not the tough times we are going through, but the amount of zombies and cowards surrounding us. How can the future not seem bleak when this is who you count on to make things better? My biggest spark of hope right now (and a very naive one at that) is that Trump is re-elected in a fair election, so that the Government Efficiency Commission actually becomes a reality, and the war against the unhealthy ingredients they put in our foods actually takes place. I place my hope in these things, because they are part of the reason why we are so dissatisfied with life as it is right now. After that, and only after that can we actually have the necessary sense of freedom to feel that life is worth a damn. If Kamala gets in, get used to the same bullshit, and I say that to everyone. American or not.

[@imxorox77]

Finished watching this video in tears. I have been struggling with this “don’t want to live but can’t die”feelings for about 10 years now, even when I was on depression treatment( I give up now, since it doesn’t work much, other than side effects ”. I have been trying hard to answer those questions, but failed. If not because people still need me to take care of them. I really just want to be gone, like I have never existed. On the positive side, I no longer scare about anything anymore, lol.

[@imxorox77]

Thank you Doctor Scott for making this video. And, hope y’all who have been suffering from this are able to find a way out and can finally enjoy this thing called life.

[@usermja777]

I liked your first comment 😮

[@kittied4482]

I don’t want to be alive. I just lost my husband last month. I have many disorders mental And physical. I am lucky to have an amazing psychiatrist. I have always carried great sadness. And been through much trauma. I on a 1-10 scale sad to happy I am usually a 2. I am 48 and exhausted. Now with this loss I feel just like I’m not supposed to be here. It’s never gotten better for me. Just worse. People see me as funny and cheerful and I light up a room and make people feel happy and special etc. I do it so no one else has to hurt like I do. I would be gone already if not for my son. He is 25 and I refuse to pass my pain to him. Which is what killing my self would do. When people say think of your happiest moment… it wad when I drowned and had a near death experience. How sad is that? I was happiest as I was dying.

[@George-v5c5n]

There are no depression treatments that work and all this anti depressant pill nonsense is all a con and to make big pharma billions....in fact even anti bionics and the likes are just as bad because the body repairs itself....to be mentally happy I think it's all about routine and being in a good financial state is a start and what I see is most are not and its a constant struggle to get by.

[@slavkavancikova5377]

Therapist didn't help me it was a waste of time. I feel no purpose in life, tired of rescuing others all my life but noone to turn to myself. Religious doesn't help either, death end 😢Black dog of depression keeps on following me...

[@lisawanderess]

Gosh I so needed to hear your calm, rational perspective on this! I tried to reach out to a mental health centre but I always feel like they treat me like a misbehaving child and find it feels safer to just hang up and forget it. All previous attempts at seeking compassion or caring have failed... nobody wants to deal with me feeling crappy. Everyone always says "It's so great to see you smiling" , so the mask remains and the tears are saved for the quiet times alone in my caravan with the curtains drawn. My "hole" is probably both reasons. I've been in therapy on and off all my adult life. I used to have optimism, dreams, hopes for my future. Recently I've become painfully aware that the dreaming has ended. Waking up is another chore like eating, laundry, getting dressed, or shopping for groceries... 50+ years on this earth and I still feel like nobody truly knows me or has considered me worthy enough to stick around for. I may look like my life is all bright and shiny, but I'm literally treading water in basic survival mode. 😥

[@DrScottEilers]

I really hope this helped. I share your frustration with how many in my field seem oddly unable to handle a person in emotional distress 🤷‍♂️ It’s not like it’s our entire job or anything

[@lisawanderess]

@dr.scotteilerspsydlp529 thanks for your kind response...it means a lot! I'm struggling today.

[@anyatranter5588]

Mine is both.

[@BlowinFree]

I’m 💯the same Lisa. I hope you’re well this evening 🙏🏻❤

[@lisawanderess]

@nolamar1 thank you. Neighbors are a challenge sometimes! I hope you find comfort in your solitude despite her! Sending hugs! 🤗

[@akacosmetic]

My life has been all trauma. CPTSD from narc mother, SA from way too many abusive men. I’m on the active side of the “SI” spectrum. Life has been so hard. I hope everyone gets the healing they deserve ❤

[@blade_warrior_blue]

We won't. Many of us don't get any help whatsoever. And never will.

[@eyjele]

​@@blade_warrior_blueWe should help each other. Most miserable life feels instantly better when someone cares.

[@polinanikulina]

You deserve to live, no matter how much shit and pain has been dumped on you.

[@veramae4098]

I could not pass you by: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

[@GWsavedMYlife]

I wish you heal too, all the best!

[@LovelyRavenBelly]

Pretty sure I have maladaptive day dreaming. It's not that I don't enjoy life, it's just that life is overwhelmingly dull in comparison to my dreams. I'm living in a monochrome world full of dissatisfied people but when im in my own world, everything is technicolor!

[@artiarora-n6e]

I could relate to passive suicidal ideation but when I got into a potentially life threatening situation, my mind completely forgot I did not care about my life during the time in a span of some seconds. You will beg for life when you are in actual danger. The comments that say I won't plead for my life in danger are just drama queens living in a first world safe haven, your primal instincts and subconscious mind can easily overpower you and your thoughts/ideas in times of actual distress. You cannot stop the adrenaline and cortisol when a wild animal charges at you or if you are alone starving and thirsty.

[@fatemehosseinzade8291]

Been daydreaming every day even in the middle of doing tasks since my teenage years. I definitely relate, I'm 24 now and the amount of time I spend in my head just keeps getting higher. I don't know if I should be worried

[@LovelyRavenBelly]

@fatemehosseinzade8291 I think if it starts to be nonfunctional, interfering with your activities of daily living, your career, or your relationships, you may want to seek help. I had a lot of luck with behavioral therapy, where I have maintained functionality. I go to bed an hour early most nights to set aside that time specifically for my own world that I've created.

[@KelsonBurnsSenior]

I relate 100%... My brother and sister took their own lives, so it's difficult not to think about it. However, their deaths were very traumatizing to my nieces and nephews. Even though I've had two attempts and also suffer from passive suicidal ideation, I MUST demonstrate to them that yes, life can be very difficult, but it CAN be managed. That's my reason to live...

[@teagreen5312]

You are so incredibly strong for that. I know that my words will probably not mean a lot right now, But you will get through this. You are amazing, you are strong, you are funny, and generally you are a wonderful person. Bad luck is good luck in disguise. Keep fighting. You got this!

[@JamieNixx]

You are a wonderful person for staying here for them. That's awesome. ❤

[@pennieplatinum2767]

I stay to spare my grown son the trauma of a death by suicide. It was a promise I made to myself when he was born. As long as he's alive, I'll continue to keep carrying on.

[@fearthequiet6365]

You have a beautiful soul. Thank you for staying here fot them and giving them hope. This is one of the best things a man can do. Wish you well!

[@freddyfazbear6350]

oh, Im so sorry for your loss. Stay safe and take care of yourself, please ❣️ One day you'll manage to smile again and enjoy your life

[@crimson4066]

"Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy, then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction? It is already happening to some extent in our own society... Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed, modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect, antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable." -Ted Kaczynski

[@soulthriver-oz6470]

Yes, what is that saying.. It is no means of success to be well adjusted to a sick society...or something like that.

[@christopherleubner6633]

Though the measures taken were wrong, he was right on many things, that is one of them.😢

[@austincde]

You could have quoted dr mlk jr or the poor ppls campaign but instead youre romanticizing a selfish idiot who ended folks lives

[@LisaValentine1]

Antidepressants don’t work because they treat symptoms, not the cause. I’ve taken them and they made me feel like a zombie or more suicidal. No thanks. I think increasing stress, anxiety, and depression’s been planned to reduce the population and that’s why many people lose motivation to live. They figured they’d kill off the weak by driving people to suicide over time-there’s not going to be enough room for everyone so something has to be done.

[@bossyboots5000]

I don't think the Unabomber is a great, reliable source for mental health advice. I'm sure there are a million other resources out there. I mean, the man killed people. How is that someone to turn to for advice?

[@RichardDremdenWolf]

_I've felt this way most of my adult life. The things that I used to do no longer bring joy to me. I try to keep myself engaged, but most of the time I just zone out. I never knew there was a term for what i felt, because I'd never deliberately do harm to myself, but often wished I'd pass in my sleep or someone drunk would end me. It's a reason i don't go out alone because I'd never let anything happen to my wife._ _I thank you very much for this video._

[@DrScottEilers]

I hope it helped! I’ll continue making content on this topic ❤️

[@nathanbedford9178]

Wow. Those words. "The things I used to do no longer bring me joy." Sums me up in a nut shell.

[@wilhelmvonn9619]

I've never had a wife, or anyone that close to me. Not going to happen now.

[@VickiNikolaidis]

​@@wilhelmvonn9619hang in there. It is difficult but life is worth it ❤

[@Melissa-818]

Jesus loves you and he died for you. The Love of God Love is sooo big. He can listen to your sorrow, to your doubt, to your depression, to your joy, to your anxiety... Literally everything ! He cares about you, start to care more about him. Read the Bible if you want to learn more ❤

[@ThatsaTechnicalFoul]

The first time I made an attempt, I was just 4 years old with my father’s gun. I heard a deafening “NO!!!” that seemed to come from everywhere around me. I was terrified & put the gun back. I made my last attempt by stepping in front of a semi truck & found myself on the other side of the road about .3 miles from my original location. I’m still totally confused about that. Something or someone just won’t let me leave by my own accord. I’m disabled & have lived in excruciating pain for 16 years & while my illness disrupts every aspect of life, it doesn’t shorten my life span. When I was at my worst & almost had a stroke, my mother tried to poison me & told me “I’m done being a mother. Take me off your emergency contacts list.” My family has abused me my entire life & my illness has stolen my mobility so I had no defenses. I have done right by all beings around me & while they’d agree with that, not many have treated me kindly. Life here has always felt like a punishment for something unknown. Just had my 44th birthday & like every other year, all I asked is that it comes to an end. This place is absolute misery.

[@glittergoat91]

I'm sorry you had this happen to you 😔

[@klanderkal]

I'm sorry too... this happened to you. I'm suffering daily as well. I've been devastated by multiple trauma's and unbearable tragedies that destroyed my life, mental and physical health. I live, or should say exist in depression and anxiety. I'm unable to to anything as well. It really sucks, suffering from everything. Be paralyzed, unable to help yourself,.. I feel the same way about this video also.... what really can we do.. ?

[@mattie7965]

I now consider my depression "severe" when I thought it was "moderate" I'm so lost after death of 3 family members, job loss and forced medical leave. This advice has been extremely educational and helpful ❤ Thank you

[@CatalinaFOIA]

Sending hugs to you ❤

[@KathyHussey063]

I've been through the wringer too, I'm so sorry you're struggling, but you can come out of it, you can feel a smile again, this is not a permanent condition, you're going through a dark night of the soul.Love yourself, let go of any regret, and please take an Omega 3,(1,000 mg) D3 (500 to 1000 mg), B12 and a magnesium, calcium zinc supplement each day and drink clean water (2 to 3 big glasses a day). You may turn that corner a bit faster. ♥♥♥💕💕💕

[@mattie7965]

@@CatalinaFOIA thank you for caring

[@kieran_stainton6771]

Sorry to hear ❤ Sending love from my side to you

[@kieran_stainton6771]

@@KathyHussey063good advice ! ❤️ hope you are better than when you were!

[@LeChud]

If you're reading this then you've beaten 100% of your worst days. Today is no different. Love and strength to you.

[@belladonnaplumb9376]

100 percent success rate, woo!

[@tddinhlv]

Tomorrow is no different either

[@empressnigeria]

😢 Thank you

[@mrchromexxx]

ah-

[@bignigga1416]

@@Sunflower-ug3ehyou’re not the only person to feel that way, nor were you the first, nor will you be the last. your life is a fragment of your dreams, thoughts, and emotions. if you wish death, then death will come. if you wish for a change, then a change will come. you’re everything dies like you said, cars, the body, and the mind but there’s something more to this, there’s a soul, something that allows us to experience this life as a whole, something to allow us to experience time and this world. you said you won’t sit while things are getting worse, but the issue is sitting, purpose won’t find you, you must find it. figure out what you genuinely love in this life and go towards that feeling constantly, then you’ll see a change, then you’ll experience a new life within this one.

[@AaronSmith-kt2fs]

30+ years going strong. I must have thought about it a million times by now. I attempted suicide twice in my late teens, but learned from those super violent, super shocking experiences, that “the body is a damned hard thing to kill”

[@sabsk122]

I am so happy that you are still here. You are the example of strength we all need. Please keep fighting ❤

[@andreshernandez1180]

@@teemumiettinen7250Try killing yourself WITHOUT killing someone else, egocentric clown!

[@Mandalor_the_Lonely]

Turn 44 this week and still here. God still has work for me here..Haven't found out what though...I've had so many thoughts of dying and wanting things to just end. I just can't do it...don't want to put my mother thru that amd now my son needs me cause he won't be able to live on his own even with him as an adult

[@alyxiajohnson6604]

@@andreshernandez1180 if you have the spine to say that, then you first.

[@SangreFriasBack]

@@andreshernandez1180 Every failure is more damage you have to live with forever

[@BrandonTLock]

I was fortunate enough to see a therapist for close to a year once and found it tremendously helpful. Unfortunately it’s also prohibitively expensive. A bit of a catch 22 really. I could make more money if i was emotionally healthy, but I can’t get emotionally healthy because i can’t afford a therapist.

[@randallgregerson4761]

I'm sixty four and have been depressed most of my life. There has been wonderful experiences and downers, not unlike many people. What has made me more actively suicidal for years now is the helplessness of life. I'm not speaking about my own helplessness, but of the world I see in front of me. A very real looming climate disaster, children dying of drug overdoses and being killed in schools. I don't see hope. Most of my friends have abandoned me and I definitely don't blame them. They cannot share my space with such a grim world view. There is very little happening today and in this world that I didn't see coming decades ago. It would have been so much more comforting to know I was wrong. No country for old men, or anyone for that matter. My generation has created a shit storm of epic proportions and there are no solutions. I see babies being born and the only thought is what a hellscape the future is for them. It never leaves my mind.

[@DemonKingOfSalvation9158]

Telling you to simply enjoy your life and stop thinking about these difficult matters would probably not be helpful, because you're a kind person who is actually worried about current issues and how it will affect the future generations. As a 17 vear old who clicked this video due to a mind plagued by reasons much more selfish than yours, I am glad people like you exist in this world; people who can care about more than just themselves. You've lived such a life full of despair for so long, that even a selfish person like me can't help but wish that you find happiness which lasts forever as well. I will keep trying to live out a good life because people like you exist, so can you try doing the same as well?

[@flower4598]

I totally get what your saying, I'm 52, n think exactly the same, I'm not depressed, I'm just sad for this world. I am happily married, n financially secure, no offspring, I never wanted to bring kids into this awful place, that seems worse every day.

[@victoryamartin9773]

You've shared many of my thoughts. You're not alone. I'm 67 and have suffered depression and passive suicidal ideation since I was 14. My best years were when I was on antidepressants. They really did help. I've had to wean off since Medicare took over my healthcare decisions, and I ended up with a big bill it's going to take years to pay off. I too look at the horrors on the horizon in store for the world, and they make me want to shake people out of their complacency so they will stand up and fight the powers attempting to destroy us all. When I act on that desire, I run into the futility of being merely a drop in a lake of placid inattentiveness. Some look alarmed by the news but then go on about their agenda without looking back. Others try to assure me it's all fake news. At the end of the day I just feel very alone. I am grateful for every day the sun is still shining and we haven't been nuked, but watching the world descend into its inevitable destruction is frightening and truly depressing.

[@Gtfobcso2024]

People need to stop bringing babies into this hell. You are depressed because that is the mkultra agenda. Since columbus "discovered" america, since the "crusades" since caligula, shit is fuct up and the psychopaths that caused this have money in the pedo vatican which i hope soon God obliterates. Until then, you are depressed because God chose you.

[@MoonSong13]

@@victoryamartin9773 I hear you! All the things happening in politics today, the hate for others based on nothing, the need for control, just all of the stuff going on in the U.S. and the world. it's all overwhelming. and I feel helpless. How do you not think about what's going on and feel sadness and fear for the future? It does get me "down". I don't know how it couldn't. so, yeah, I hear you guys.

[@LapinDebogues]

Severe chronic pain transformed me from someone who loved life to someone who now hates it. These feelings described here are quite scary and yet I am hanging onto slivers of hope. Find hope no matter how small and hang onto that.

[@bevishhh]

❤❤❤

[@DeeDee-44]

So true. I love Qi gong to help with my chronic pain.

[@brendalg4]

I have chronic pain and no hope. When my mom passes away I won't be able to afford the bills

[@LapinDebogues]

@@dubsmith7 somehow hang on. Talk to somebody, anybody, priest, rabbi, friend, counsellor. I’ve come to realize that inasmuch as everybody loves and adores the heroes you can see there are also the invisible heroes that no-one sees and fight the battles that noone notices and that everyday you hang on is a heroic act even if it doesn’t feel like it.

[@Metqa]

@@brendalg4 I'm so sorry for your situation. sometimes it feels like the only reason you are still here is to not hurt one person so when that person is gone, what do you have? I hope this doesn't sound bad, but hopefully she has some sort of insurance to help after she's gone so you don't have to struggle so much. My mom got an insurance that will pay off her entire mortgage so that I won't drop on me, So then I can help take care of my step dad. I dunno. I live on my own, but I think I understand your feelings. I wake up everyday with pain, and I get no meds to help with it, I'm having a financial struggle and my mom is my only anchor. I don't know what will happen when she's gone. So I wanted to let you know I feel you and I understand and I hope... i don't know. I hope that whatever you are dealign with will somehow become less suffering for you somehow.

[@Martin-u2m]

I like that the feeling is identical. It makes life more fair for people that never got anything they wanted.

[@robr4662]

We as a society need to realize that a bad life is sometimes worse than no life. People who would disagree are either religious or have never truly been in such a bad place; that's not to say they haven't experienced tragedy or loss. They just haven't experienced it on the level of those that legitimately have a good reason to die. People also feel better about themselves when they tell people positive sayings like "It'll get better!" or "Just keep trying!" To someone who's been trying as hard as they can for the entirety of their life, these statements feel like a punch in the face. Sometimes life gets worse and worse- more painful by the day, and there is nothing tat person can do to change that. The only hope for these people does not come from within them but from the outside. Society is responsible for these people and is also to blame for their situation. Unfortunately, society helps them not; maybe even pushes them further down into the abyss of pain and suffering. So to all those positive people out there- think of this the next time you give some helpful platitude to someone in need and maybe you might actually do something to help them instead of making yourself feel better

[@henlo-fh5cb]

I am surprised there are no comments here, i totally agree with you! The thing is it's extremely painful to live everyday with the same situation repeating over and over again. I feel its not about the gravity of ones situation Sometimes it's the 'small' things going wrong every single day. one has to realise our brain is powerful, it has strong analytical skill measuring yesterday to today. Some people are always at zero, nothing changes for them not because they are negative its just randomness. Truth is people who go through this are alive only because of their survival instinct brought down by evolution. Other than that their logical brains know very well its better to call it off

[@lulamidgeable]

This is why I loathe motivational quotes that people have the nerve to tell me or 'share' at work. None of my friends are stupid enough to do that.

[@tinalouise1764]

Unemployable. Unlovable. Unwanted. No friends. No family. Depressed for 55 years. No purpose in life.

[@yogeshjaiswal4111]

Same here😂

[@clarelowe3718]

You are lovable.how are u today.do u want a penpal.its helps me with my depression and feeling lonely.❤

[@vvbazilvv362]

​@@clarelowe3718stay awesome. ❤️☮️

[@Pauratraits]

Hi, my name is Morgan. I'm only 26 but I would love to be friends. Where are you from?🤍

[@stevieray9545]

I'll be your friend

[@sarahfairchild399]

Was talking to a good friend about therapy and how I'm unsure about it and he said "therapy is good because maybe the therapist will see something from the outside that you can't see from the inside." And that really struck me.

[@DrScottEilers]

I’d like to think we do that fairly often 😁

[@Melissa-818]

Jesus loves you and he died for you. The Love of God Love is sooo big. He can listen to your sorrow, to your doubt, to your depression, to your joy, to your anxiety... Literally everything ! He cares about you, start to care more about him. Read the Bible if you want to learn more ❤

[@atanamorell2]

You should give therapy a try. I've gone on and off for decades and have learned so much. It can really help to have a second set of eyes on problems. It's good to get a new perspective.

[@aaronjames3228]

Well that's exactly the point of therapy. They see things your brain is stopping you from seeing

[@yevheniialiakh1397]

My therapist actually saw this passive suicidal ideation in me. In our sessions I told her that I accepted my mortality, and don't care if I die at any given moment - and when she heard everything I told her, knowing other things about me - she actually told me what it is. I never thought that some of my actions could be described as "passively suicidal". She saw it - I got treatment. This thinking still lurks around - but now I can recognise it and do something about it. So I all about trying therapy - it really helps.

[@celestephelps5897]

When I was 16 I asked God to bring me home because I was being bullied at home and at school. In 2002 I was in a car accident that left me paralyzed from the waist down. My health has declined and now, in 2024, 21 years later, I'm existing in a nursing home. I'm tired. When I go to sleep I'm ready for Jesus to knock on my door.

[@klanderkal]

Sorry for you're misfortune. Life really has unforseen tragedy that will kill your own dreams... Im in a similar situation. I'm unable to do anything, go anywhere.. and lost my career job I loved at the same time. Its also taken my eyesight away. Everything in a blurr. I have no will or want to go on... like this. I also have extreme guilt and regret. It's so much worse to have depression, anxiety and insomnia.... Thank you for sharing 🙏❤️🫶

[@palme7414]

"sometimes the only thing that keeps us in that passive mindset is the knowledge of how our passing would impact others" oh that hit so hard...

[@investigativeoutcomes9343]

everyone i loved is dead and only one person i care about is still alive, and he doesn't have much longer.

[@Christiancookin]

Everyone should have the right to leave when they please. I’m not crazy or depressed just not wanting to continue here and it’s ok. I’m gathering the courage to depart and there’s no one that can convince me otherwise.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Agree!!

[@expose_massive_banking_crime]

I suspect thtt if we don't push through to the end, we reincarnate and have to "re-do" this shit

[@andreasandreou1705]

I do understand you my friend. I feel exactly the same. I want to sleep for ever. But I am not looking for the courage to do it. I have it. I am afraid only if i will fail.

[@baronvonbarbeque]

Right there with ya. I'm staring down the barrel of homelessness by the end of the month and im hoping that will be the nudge i need to finally get relief.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@expose_massive_banking_crimesounds like a fantasy

[@sharonb519]

I truly don’t think my passing would impact anyone that harshly, including my husband and grown son who I am basically invisible to. I’m not depressed any more than the next person, I just think life and people in general suck. The only thing I looked forward to daily for the past 14 years was spending time with my little white dog and Jesus took her away from me 2 years ago. I know she is waiting for me and I can’t wait until I can be with her again. I’m not afraid of death; I’m more afraid of continuing to live in hell here on earth. 🥺

[@markg6523]

I read this as I have my two dogs on the bed with me. They really are my only joy. I’m sure people would miss you more than you know but I know exactly how you feel. I know my nieces would be devastated if I were gone but I generally feel no one else would really miss me. I really miss feeling connected to others and wish I felt connected to someone who understood how challenging and empty life feels most of the time. Time just drags on.

[@charitysmith5245]

(((Hugs))) ❤❤

[@kG-uq7ju]

I'm waking up every day for others & doing the same routine for as long as I can remember.. i have zero motivation but my schedule has kept me going. I work from home so I'm juggling my time between my work, chores & taking care of my narcissistic sociopathic mother who had a stroke years ago. Out of frustration , i told her once that I was on the verge of ending it all & she just laughed at me as she watches me broke down in tears. I'm trying to be okay, wake up, get up & go about my day for the sake of my father. My mother's narcissistic behavior towards my father would be the death of him if I left. This has taken a toll on my mental health as I just find myself crying, feeling hopeless & tired and wondering what would happen if I didn't wake up the next day. Then I'd snap out of it when I suddenly think about my father. A very kind man. Kind to a fault, actually. I'm seeing a psychiatrist soon. My thoughts scare me. Thank you for the videos, Dr. Scott. They've been helpful.

[@nudnikjeff]

I started feeling like this in grade school. I found a "suicide note" I had written in 7th grade, praying not to wake up. I'm 75 years old now and still feel that way. But I survive. I've convinced myself that consciousness exists after death and that all will be made clear. I think that thought has kept me alive.

[@barrydixon7944]

Praying your right

[@amyk9813]

I'm turning 24 in December. It scares me, it feels so old and I'm still not where I want to be. If you have the time, what advice would you give to someone my age who understands these feelings? Thank you for your time

[@drezzydrez]

You die, you are truly gone without consciousness, black forever but you can’t think or know how long or remember it’s just void

[@angeltier987]

@@drezzydrezI don’t know if you think that’s comforting but a lot of people don’t find that comforting at all

[@Teuwufel]

​@@drezzydrezstop pushing your beliefs on others.

[@AussieBrit]

What you are describing is what I would call feeling "trapped." I experienced several years of suicidal ideation, knowing full well I would NOT follow through because I didn't want to put my children through the heartache of it all. Regardless, I still thought about it every single day.

[@Nisey48]

Will u talk to me please I'm going through it so much

[@AlinaKat3]

Same situation here. I have to hold on for my kids.

[@victoriajefferis4736]

how do you carry on? i have been feeling this for 20 years and i have nobody to talk to

[@johnjohnny29]

​​@lonelypotatojinneverfound378 same but with my mum.

[@webstarr4542]

Great isn't it - can't even commit suicide without feeling guilty about it. Kids don't deserve that trauma of course but even taking your own life because of a life time of not being good at life doesn't come without remorse and guilt and selfish thoughts. Sums it all up really.