The Power of Self to Heal Our Parts | Richard Schwartz, Soren Gordhamer | Wisdom 2.0 2017

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#Mindfulness
#IFS
#Internalfamilysystems

[@springwood1331]

I struggled with IFS, mainly because the 'Self' just wasn't strong enough to communicate, and I would get overwhelmed. If you're same you might try Compassion Focussed Therapy (there's quite a few books out there if you can't afford therapy) because in CFT you first build up a compassionate self and/or other within and focus on reduce threat system and increasing soothing system. Then, when you've a good base with that, you interact with parts (in cft called 'selves') and/or look at processing traumas. Just putting it out there in case it's helpful to anyone.

[@PetaL72]

Me too, as it feels somewhat 'scripted' and not quite genuine. I get it works for many, but it's not right for all and it really irritates me when therapists try and do this as a 'one size fits all' treatment and become angry with the client for saying no. Unless someone has the proper resources and safety nets around them, this can be dangerous.

[@irenevandun-lucas1852]

Thnx ❤

[@ENSO-wildsound]

​@@PetaL72if a therapist becomes angry then one needs a new therapist. There are so many protocols against bringing their own parts into sessions (using ifs speak) and if that's where they are at,they cannot create a safe container with their OWN Self, so you're right it is dangerous. Not from ifs but from someone unsafe to hold a trauma informed space

[@claytonolsoncoaching]

"If you love what's in front of you, it will transform"

[@moulee7448]

That's beautiful!

[@danahumphrey5044]

Matt Kahn wrote a book "Whatever Arises Love That"

[@mandolaa4855]

🙏

[@Bigchurchmusic]

”Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8 King James Bible.

[@instrumentofbeing]

"what's in your way"

[@PsychotropicShaman]

IFS Therapy and Ketamine treatments helped treat my depression and suicidal ideation this summer. It worked so well and so fast when my mental health was the worst it had ever been, I was shocked. Thank you for developing this type of therapy and helping so many people who are struggling to survive.

[@Grungefan2018]

Was this life long depression? Or an acute episode? I only ask because I'm 60 yrs old and have been depressed my entire life. The result of death of parent early in life and then more trauma in the form of emotional physical abuse etc. I wonder if it's possible to help this. Things have been getting worse for the last 10 years if that is even possible. Thank you

[@PsychotropicShaman]

@@Grungefan2018I was diagnosed with PTSD and major depressive disorder. The depression has been a long term issue going back to childhood, and the PTSD was from losing my mom to suicide about 7 years ago. I absolutely think you could be helped by trying IFS therapy with a therapist you like and psychedelic sessions (ketamine or psilocybin) at a certified clinic or with a professional facilitator in your home. Worth a shot, and at the very least you gain a deeper understanding of how your mind works.

[@cheryldickinson8156]

Internalizing loving compassion is the only way we can heal. So thankful for Richard's work.

[@IDontReadReplies42069]

its not the only way! but its one way! There's all kinds of therapy practices some work for others and some don't :)

[@deniseherud]

I do this in conjunction with EMDR and the results have been astounding. It seems the better you are at “imagining” the easier it is to access the child parts....and they become more comfortable the more you acknowledge their needs. Brilliant stuff!

[@kallaimock1773]

Hi Denise, I've had really good results with parts work. I was wondering how you incorporate the emdr with it. Do you do it on your own while you're doing parts work?

[@freesoul3982]

I would love to also know how you incorporate EMDR?

[@tjskyye9409]

Yes, that is what I have tried and it works. Blending EMDR with the IFS therapy is very powerful.

[@rowanmeyer1817]

@@tjskyye9409 at what stage are you Using the lateral eye movement? When you identify a part that you reject? When you're getting to know it? When you feel what it would do if it wasn't protecting you? Any more insight would be appreciated greatly, thank you! And I'm happy that it's worked really well for you!!

[@themodeschool3633]

I have used IFS in conjunction with Reiki and the results are excellent.

[@xoxoizzie365]

Meditation begins at 11:19

[@mihaidumnicai]

It all comes down to learning to love ourselves. Thank you, Dr. Richard!

[@bethanybrittain473]

Richard Schwartz work is powerful! I have used his concepts and procedures in my own life with amazing success. I hope he continues to teach us how to heal from trauma.

[@biancaol4963]

#Bethany Brittain, did you do it by yourself, without a book or therapist? Thank you and Im happy it helped you!

[@bethanybrittain473]

Bianca OL I’ve been working alone.

[@robertsturm597]

This man is a such a gift to humanity i feel this is the best therapy ive ever seen

[@mclayne444]

I so agree ❤

[@Sashas-mom]

“There’s a part of me that…” How many times have I said these words? Great interview.

[@nickseigal6986]

Befriending your inner enemy (demon) is something the Dalai Lama would know all about. It is a practice called Chöd in Tibetan buddhism.

[@patriciagriffin1505]

Yes but many parts are not enemies

[@Sashas-mom]

I love these similarities.

[@PsychotropicShaman]

@@patriciagriffin1505 none of the parts are enemies. Some may just be stuck in unhelpful roles due to trauma or attachment injuries.

[@Renata53502]

Wow it was so nice. I have periodically rage coming out against my mother and sisters ( I cut with them) and it said to me that this is the rage of my inner child that I could never express that is good and healthy and now I don't see it as sthg evil but my recorse. Wonderfull!

[@anabelchamber4488]

What a beautifull approach!!!! ❤️........ what a compassionate therapist you seem to be. Thank you so much 🙏

[@aca986]

ive been doing this type of therapy for a year and a half and i am transformed! really it is so amazing... also i got my therapist on a cheap therapy initiative for low paid jobs... if you call places and ask if they do this kind of stuff they often do!!

[@joannaquanttumphysics]

Are you in the US, if so what state?

[@aca986]

@@joannaquanttumphysics I'm in the UK so cant advise one sorry!

[@amyshijia7460]

@@aca986 i'm i the uK - can you advise please?

[@advancedraymondology2914]

Before he even really got into the exercise, I immediately located a couple people in here. There's the angry dude, and without even accessing it I knew, as soon as Dick asked the question, what Angry Dude was protecting--he was protecting me from feeling stupid, choosing anger any time I felt dumb or childish. Then there was Scared Dude. And that's the one that really gave me trouble in this. How can I thank Scared Dude, when it's all irrational stuff he's scared of, and he just prevents me from going for things? I just want him to go away, not make friends with him. Angry Dude, I can see turning him into something useful. I feel bad for Scared Dude, but it's hard to imagine thanking him or wanting him around when he wrecks so much of my life. I did feel the compassion for him. I wanted to complete the exercise, so what I came up with was telling him I understand but he has to be quiet and let me handle things. 'cause that's the thing: Scared Dude doesn't DO anything but be scared. He doesn't problem solve or make anything better, he just has me sitting on my couch vaping and brooding and wasting time. I told him I understand, that I'm scared too, but that I needed him to please, please just stop.

[@treesforlifeong1639]

Advanced Raymondology wow! the loving caring motherly part of me just wants to sooth the Scared dude...like to hold him near and sush him "shh baby, it.a alrigth, it.s alright,it.s over now, calm down baby,i.m sorry you.re bullied, those motherfuckers dont know what they are talking about! you are so lovely, baby, i love and adore you little one!" and hold him tight and lay down with this kid and kiss him into slumber...

[@advancedraymondology2914]

Trees For Life Ong that was beautiful. Thank you for your lovely comment.

[@advancedraymondology2914]

Trees For Life Ong and I will try that! Instead of getting frustrated with Scared Dude, I'll try comforting him more. I could see that working!

[@sarahcornett430]

I like the analogy of the scared child too. A lot of times if you don't give a screaming child attention, the screaming gets louder and louder until you simply can't ignore it. What I think might be happening with you too, is that scared dude gets louder and louder, and your critic steps in and starts criticizing sacred dude until scared dude shuts up. But because scared dude doesn't get heard, his concerns become bigger, less rational, and more outrageous. When you notice the critic, listen to it, thank it for wanting you to overcome your fears, but ask it to step back. Get to know scared dude. How old is he, or how old does he think you are? What circumstances caused him to get to this point? What is he trying to keep you safe from? Sometimes narrowing it down to a certain event helps you to see patterns in where that exact feeling of fear came up over and over again, even in unrelated scenarios. Thank the scared dude for working so hard to keep you safe. Even if it has set you back, feel gratitude that it was all out of concern for your well being. Apologize for not listening to him and validating him sooner. Doing this will help ease him to the point of not being so big. Help him do his job by listening to him, evaluate the fears, and whether or not they're rational. As you continually listen to what scared dude has to say, you'll likely find that he speaks up a lot less over irrational things. Accept him as part of your family, and his screaming, so to speak, will probably be soothed.

[@smartcatcollarproject5699]

In the Jung/MBTI/Beebe's model, you'd need to learn to differentiate the child and the trickster... the trickster may be useful to protect the child from the attacks of the angry parent (the senex/witch, often an angry voice), but it can pose problems in real life (maybe tricking you into resting to get comfort and rest instead of reacting positively)... Another very different approach is the "attachment theory therapy", see this Ideal Parents Figures video kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGPEpmegqbFjhZY which focalizes on healing issues from early childhood originating from parents care. Too much information...

[@BriSpazzout]

The power of this video is important to me! because Richard Schwartz speaks about the difficulties of his clients having difficult times in there life. accepting yourself is a good way to overcome the difficult times. Such powerful points for family therapy. Ambria Good

[@claudiapenna8778]

Seems similar to Inner Child work - integrating the Inner Child (or Children/various ages), Inner Critical Parent and Loving Parent

[@MorganBondelid]

the inner child concept is a good entry point metaphor for a lot of people though

[@smartcatcollarproject5699]

I'd like to see someone come together with a theory and therapy grouping all these together, also personality types from Jung, Myers-Brigg and Bebee, with protective and critical parent, the child, etc ! The "attachment theory" with the "ideal parents figures" imagination sounds also quite powerful.

[@garyd1727]

JG Alegria I think of inner parent as Self

[@XeaRae]

I found it gives more tangible techniques to access Self (or Loving Parent) than Inner Child work that I came in contact with. I tried doing Inner Child work before IFS and just had not tools to access Loving Parent and would just hand that role by error to another young part that was terrified of making a mistake and harming the inner child further. It was a mess. This gives me concrete steps to access the Self and check if I am in Self.

[@mariyaashurova1121]

Wow I just experienced some truth about my self

[@truethehero]

11:30 for meditation

[@IvanGarcia-cx5jm]

I did a search on "love your enemies" in Google, and up to the 5th page of hits I only see Jesus and Christianity hits. It seems that the Dalai Lama got it from Jesus. Matthew 5:43-48, which is part of the sermon of the mountain.

[@serlibreuy]

Me encanta la propuesta de Schwartz !! Saludos desde Uruguay !!

[@janiceclarfield7094]

Amazing beautiful work

[@RDnAC]

But what are those alien space ship things on the sides of the stage?

[@andreejohnston516]

The more trama you endured does that create more parts to deal with?

[@earthpearl3790]

I wouldn’t necessarily expect a part to open up in front of an audience.

[@rikschoonbeek]

I'm guessing some parts might, and others definitely won't. At least, not untill some work is done to change things.

[@pod9363]

Yes that’s a good point. This feels like a really private practice.

[@innerlocus]

My enemies are my flag to the parts of me I rejected. Got it.

[@kimspetzer1558]

I had a level 3 IFS therapist, Danny D. had me thinking sexual exploitation and his romancing me was part of IFS therapy. Danny's loving was very harmful. I should have been getting real IFS therapy, never happened. He worked on my part's ?? in the worst way. Now I need to find a ethical IFS therapist who can help me get over all the great deal of harm Danny caused me with all his unethical behavior. And, there was a lot of that. part of me can not forgive a pervert like that, a therapist who was manipulating , sexually exploiting, and much more. IFS is the best therapy with an ethical therapist, I know I will find one.

[@Uneekname]

I'm skeptical about this type of therapy

[@abinasantaclara7081]

Its always devastating when any therapist abuses their power, whether they are an IFS therapist or any other therapist. Feeling tender towards your exploited part

[@atomiclisa]

I hope you can share your abuse with a new, qualified therapist.

[@lovesarita]

Kim this needs to be reported...

[@chrisvaccaro229]

@@Uneekname Is this type of therapy an Evidence-based Practice?

[@violetamihalache9006]

11:30 practical work with a part

[@wrdtoyomother]

I showed this video to a friend of mine Justin and we lost contact through a glitch in an app. If you see this Justin, message me.

[@tuffguytofiles]

I really think this works wonders. Is it the same as shadow work?

[@r0n1n-]

Parts work = Shadow work with much much better theory and guidelines

[@treesforlifeong1639]

R0N1N wow, thanks for making it so clear! i agree so

[@MorganBondelid]

@@r0n1n- such a good answer, thank you!

[@a0um]

One either has a multiple personality disorder or has a multiple personality order.

[@aubeyroa]

I don't think I could access myself last time I was doing ifs. Any ideas?

[@miquel935]

You need time, there are a lot of parts, and sometimes you think is the self but there is a part involved, be patient and constant. The problem is that you have been feeding them for years don't expect to heal in a few weeks. Good luck

[@lovesarita]

If you're working with a practitioner / therapist, they will stand in for your Self if you cannot unblend from your parts... might be worth having a session or two?

[@starbucksmocha88]

@@alegriart thanks for sharing this book, I'm going to look it up and try it :)

[@maggie0285]

This is weird. They say dissociative identity disorder is controversial but with this therapy it's OK to have different parts. My therapist wants to do this therapy and I told her I could already see my parts lol.

[@sharayahsunshine11]

Its not just seeing them but incorporating them into a unified self. Its a process but it allows for every fragmentation that lives inside to have a voice, meet their needs and either release, incorporate or allow them a different role.

[@leksyify]

Who is the part that hates the critic? 😀

[@danahumphrey5044]

The Frustrated part, any emotion or feeling can be a part. So when he says he feels frustrated towards the Inner Critic, that is a part. Then Richard Schwartz asks that part to step aside to allow them to approach the inner critic.

[@MM-kd2xi]

This is the 3rd interview I’ve seen where Dick name drops and then proceeds to try to “one up” the Dalai Lama (looking especially silly here, as if to suggest that loving kindness directed inward were a novel idea). What gives? IFS is a brilliant, inventive, and promising approach, and the guy has gotten lots of well deserved attention for it. Why the apparent inferiority complex directed toward his holiness?

[@HolismT]

Noticed that too, perhaps a case of the wounded carrying forward the work, his protector trying to inflate his image. At least in his writing he acknowledges that he still struggles with his parts.....

[@IDontReadReplies42069]

The Dalai Lama absolutely loves his fame and rockstar status, none of us are zen gods. We're all human.

[@brianlittrell797]

That's an interesting interpretation you have of what happened because I didn't see it as Dick trying to "one up" the Dalai Lama. I saw it simply as him bringing up an exchange that he had with the Dalai Lama. I am sure the Dalai Lama would have already known about the inward directing of love/compassion/kindness and would have agreed with Dick. He brought it up because the Dalai Lama is well known for having directed compassion and kindness towards oppressors and people on the outside. That's my interpretation. I'm not seeing any inferiority complex or unhealthy ego expressing but just as bit of humor and explanation at work.