The problem with NON-BINARY

Have you noticed the rise in people identifying as non-binary? Neither male nor female, and would prefer to be referred to as "They/Them".
In this video, I dive into why the non-binary identity is so attractive using the character of Che Diaz from the Sex and the City reboot - And Just Like That.
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DISCLAIMER -
All materials in these videos are used for educational purposes and fall within the guidelines of fair use. No copyright infringement is intended. If you are or represent the copyright owner of materials used in this video and have a problem with the use of said material, please send me an email at [e-mail]

[@pb4life597]

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism

[@altruisticflower9627]

So when others insist that non-binary people must be men or women because they see themselves as such, they are being selfish. They are demanding that we live as they wish to live, within a social gender binary.

[@cowsgomoo0]

This, 100%.

[@Grokford]

That's not a good comparison. If you are more committed to your own ideas of a person than to the real person in front of you then that is your damage. If you call a Sikh man a muslim, or call someone by the wrong name they're not being rude by correcting you, you're being obstinate if you refuse to acknowledge it.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

@@Grokford It's your ideas of people that are the problem. You define not only yourself, but everyone else in terms of 'gender', which is sex stereotyping. Other people have every right to reject that framing and to refuse to go along with you.

[@Grokford]

@@Mel-wn9gb Oh my sweet, I'm sorry to tell you that you have it backwards. Society already exists in a way that we're all defined by gender. For gender non-conforming children like I was this becomes very obvious. Walk this way, talk this way don't stand like that. Every aspect of our personalities, dress mannerisms and even our physical bodies are supposed to conform to these artificial ideas. Which is how we manage to live in a world where full-grown men believe that women don't have body hair. Among many other questionable ideas. All I'm doing is acknowledging it, sorry to say it's been here the entire time. For as long as you've been alive certainly, unless you have some sort of secret. I absolutely agree that people have every right to reject ideas of gender. Which is precisely what non-binary people are doing.

[@DirectorHMAN]

If you dont want to live under a label of identity. Saying you are non-binary and making it your entire identity is the ULTIMATE irony.

[@Lovelyone1]

Thank you!!!! It reminds me when I was younger and kids wanted to be an individual so they started being goth. Yet they all looked the same. There were rules that made you a true goth. You couldn’t like certain music or types of people. It was all ridiculous just like now.

[@ernsttrekiew198]

@@Lovelyone1 Didn't goths reject conformity --- but to be part of their subculture, one had to conform to goth standards?

[@Lovelyone1]

@@ernsttrekiew198 exactly!!!

[@amelaamcovic2647]

Thank you!

[@suzybearheart530]

​@Lovelyone1 Ha! Yes! I was in high school in the late 90s. I was punk rock and even I used to call my punk rock boyfriend out for "conforming to non-conformity". He got so mad at me for that - in my defense he started it by calling me a conformist for wanting to get good grades and go to college 😂.

[@CagedRyno]

Lol I love how she’s even a stereotypical woke comedian that preaches and lectures on stage for applause instead of telling jokes for actual laughs.

[@usuallysalty4018]

Thank you for saying what i was thinking. I was just noticing it was a speech and not stand up..

[@yagamifire7861]

And the best part about her speech? She'll still be alone and sad...and it's all self-inflicted

[@joeldykman7591]

to the progressive, the only purpose of comedy is agitprop to the extent of undermining cultural norms. Its the same reason why they will not tolerate even the slightlest joke at their expense as that can only be seen as detrimental to the cause.

[@snowbunnie1113]

Note how these people never make fun of themselves. It’s always just an excuse to complain about society and call people ignorant for not conforming to their beliefs.

[@ski4life108]

And everyone clapped

[@michaelkenwell9146]

By attempting to reject labels, they simply create a new one LOL!

[@garrettviewegh9028]

I’ve heard of the 60s being a rebellious time for your people, so was the 90s and the 2000s. They all seemed to have one similarity that was different from the rebellious nature of the woke and alphabet mafia crowd: the kids of those eras didn’t identify as anything. They didn’t use other labels while rejecting society’s. They were simply themselves.

[@MrJCerqueira]

There are intersex people that identify as nb. It’s not an invention, it’s as valid an ID as anyone’s. Cis folks using the label weirds me out

[@gonzoyork1908]

True

[@TheGalantMAN]

Because they don't really reject labels, that's an excuse to hate on how sexuality truly works because that reminds them of the gender roles including how _MEN_ are supposed to have a dignity and rights in front of women, as they don't even wanna recognize

[@dodoismus369]

Well, not every nonbinary person wants to reject all labels. Some of us do, but some of us just want to create more labels because we often feel that the traditional labels are not enough when it comes to describing our lived experience. It's as if you would like to describe the color orange to people who only see red or yellow. Language is a tool that helps us to acknowledge our feelings and experiences, so why not expand it?

[@mrporcupine4140]

Them saying queer discourse is important for people in their 40s and 50s to "rediscover themselves" sounds a lot like a pathetic of coping with a midlife crisis xD

[@sonoftheredfox]

Why don't they instead just do like guys used to and go buy a sportscar or something?

[@AbcAbc-sp1od]

​@@sonoftheredfox Because you can't afford a sports car when you're a part time barista at Star bucks.

[@user-is7xs1mr9y]

Yes, it is exactly that.

[@megsley]

it's a continuation of the "adults desperately hanging onto childhood" trend.

[@hinduismwithpremananddasbhagat]

My dad wanted a red sports car when he hit middle age. Realized he didn't fit in one and like them. So, he just bought a nice family car, and forgot about it. Today he'd be told to come out as trans, get a divorce, change all our relationships, wear dresses, and be miserable with his life but be unable to just turn back the lcock.

[@Tzedakah263]

Man, that Jamie Lee Curtis interview boiled my blood. "Oh, you're happy as a cis-gendered individual? Not you're not!" The irony is how judgmental he was while complaining about other people judging him.

[@andrewespinoza2896]

Confession through projection is what it is. Gaslight others that which you are experiencing

[@solarsailer4166]

Agreed. The person never answered the question, instead turned it into a personal attack. Years ago, LGBT folk would have answered the question with 'I risk my life because I believe this is the right thing to do'. Such an answer would have earned my respect. Instead, people like this avoid answering by attacking those who question. Part of their response on being unhappy, taken on it's own had a grain of truth wtih those who are in abusive reliationships, but they wrapped in up in irrelevant assumptions on depression and hate.

[@ronDCM]

he is lying to himself. not accepting responsibility, living life to the best narcissitic mirror is the fastest way to depression and loneliness. MOst of them try to disguise thie souless existence with sex, drugs and alcohol.

[@amandaredd3057]

Exactly!! Maybe it makes him or them or whatever happy but don't say you know what anyone else is thinking or feeling. It's pretentious and absolutely obnoxious

[@sitcomchristian6886]

It's pretty well known that when a girl piles on loads of makeup, she's covering an insecurity (physical or emotional). This dude is so insecure and bitter, and is surprised when people call him crazy? Dude, you're effing deranged!

[@silverscreenization]

For people not wanting to be labeled they’re pretty obsessed with labels and forcing certain language on everyone….

[@HumanLandslide]

They are cool with neopronouns, but not with adult people's responsibilities.

[@MsDudette21]

I think it's so funny that being nonbinary makes you "unique" when in reality it's just wimps who are too afraid to be nontraditional while also accepting their sex. To really be brave you'd just accept you are a nontraditional/androgynous male or female. But they are so pathetic they have to claim to be nothing or its lol. Doesn't that just reinforce the idea that all men are masculine and all women are feminine?

[@justanothermortal1373]

And forcing people to live according to how they want us to. Narcissistic behaviour.

[@Grokford]

Non-binary people aren't opposed to labels, that was just incorrect.

[@lauriedexter]

Rejecting labels because of the "sexist norms" associated with them is sexist. If you don't want to be called a woman because you don't want the norm of "being in the kitchen", then ultimately you believe women should be in the kitchen. Have these individuals tried rejecting the norms instead?

[@Pollypole]

Thank you! I think this is my biggest issue with the concept.

[@nonmorto3563]

EXACTLY

[@pg9193]

those people are not creative enough to think beyond the stereotypes of both genders, so they think that rejecting both and providing an awful replacement will suffice.

[@Gr95dc]

this is exactly how I see it. I don't really know how to put it into words, but as someone who has always had "masculine" interests as a female, I just dressed and did whatever I liked, for example, used "boy clothes", went to college for an engineering career, got a buzzcut, all without feeling the need to drop my identity as a woman. Getting a buzz cut or wearing pants doesn't make me any less of a woman, it's just something I like. IDK, I feel like I'm just rambling but I do feel like the non binary movement is having some sexist undertones and I don't like it.

[@GoddessBlueYozakura7]

That's what I thought the whole goal in the 80s and 90s were about. Now people are redefining roles to avoid them altogther? Sounds assbackwards.

[@ayvi8850]

Che sounds so so petty and angry with everyone. Like, she identifies as a bad person with the whole "I don't want to explain myself" how do you expect other people to understand you?

[@josephngare3857]

I think the movie summarizes the issues we're facing.

[@BeckerFlag]

That last scene shown were is shows its all about her and why can't everyone else understand who "they" are. Because she has no idea who she is so news flash everyone else is confused and endlessly frustrated too. Pure narcissism. No ability for self reflection.

[@theindiefilmdude]

The point is that we shouldn't need to "understand them". They just need to shut the hell up and live their lives and leave everyone else alone.

[@darkhighwayman1757]

She's mad people don't find her that funny and her shtick isn't enough.

[@Atamastra]

​@@theindiefilmdudeBut isn't the insistence to shut the hell up and stop trying to understand each other just another way of dissociating people from one another, to simply take everything in uncritically at face value and ensure no one ever tries to compromise or socially mesh with each other, lest they accidentally step on one another's feelings? On one hand, I get the idea of minding your own business, and at the same time, this new paradigm of people claiming unconventional gender identities and sexualities do everything but mind their own business, they shout it via megaphones/social media into every movie/show, university, HR department, and government office demanding to be seen, acknowledged, adapted to, and even celebrated. The new identities wriggled into modernity by relentlessly questioning and dissecting "normativity", but cannot abide being questioned/dissected themselves. I dont know, it seems like a unrealistic double-standard to demand the world, the whole world (from the individuals all the way up to the institutions) see and accept those of queer identities without a peep, while simultaneously wanting to be left alone. I think that might be why some of the commenters use the descriptor 'narcissistic'. Alright, now I guess you can yell at me and tell me how I'm an ignorant bigot who also just needs to shut up.

[@karrdashen9190]

calling yourself "non-binary" categorizes everyone as binary or non-binary, thus creating a binary system, which makes you binary again

[@Sergeant_Fury]

I have a two-track mind, but I operate on one track at a time.

[@DSKekaha]

50-50 chance: either you are non-binary, or you're not

[@VenomLeon]

_Oh, the irony!_

[@boomguitarjared]

lxDlxDlxD

[@lislesmith1011]

Awesome! 😂

[@MrBobby35790]

Absolutely fascinating how in trying to portray them “accurately” we are simply shown how utterly self centered these people are. Their lives revolve around their identity and, thus, themselves.

[@fatimagarciagarrido4338]

Yes, the rest of us just exist

[@Beanyburrito-q3r]

its not that deep bro. its feeling comfy as yourself, if ur nonbinary u woukd get it

[@CtDDtC1919]

In my experience, people who claim to be nonbinary are some of the most easily offended, egocentric individuals I have met. They strike me as people who really need some long term therapy... at the very least to knock the chip off their shoulder and make them less combative/confrontational in the workplace. .. maybe help them with their delusions too.

[@DJ-yo9oi]

@@Beanyburrito-q3r No, they're right. A man can already express himself how he wants to, as can a woman. Nonbinary just reinforces the gender binary and gender stereotypes by claiming certain behaviors, clothing, mannerisms, etc. are for men and others are for women.

[@donatotomas]

@@CtDDtC1919 not be willing to conform with anything is the definition of antisocial. We live in societies, we need to conform in many ways to build our identities. It’s how it works.

[@mrridikilis]

Just as a side note: any comedy routine where the audience claps and whoops is NOT a comedy show, it's a political rally.

[@MegaSheen15]

It’s a glorified TED talk

[@HumanLandslide]

In real life, a niche comedian like Che wouldn't be able to gain this much following. Am I supposed to believe that regular looking, accomplished women are suddenly crazy about shitty non-binary jokes?

[@MegaSheen15]

@@HumanLandslide maybe in San Francisco

[@jkcrawl]

@@HumanLandslide As someone who's done standup I agree with you mostly, but then again I'm absolutely baffled as to why Hanna Gadsby has gotten so big.

[@HumanLandslide]

@@jkcrawl From my understanding, her content is mostly about lesbians, which makes for a wider audience than non-binary content would. Or maybe I'm wrong? I cannot stomach that woman.

[@jlogan2228]

Is anyone else creeped out by that parent teacher scene where the teachers basically are like you WILL go along with your childs delusion and we will shame you if you dont

[@umwha]

The state is saying ‘we own your children . We make the decisions of your families future’ dystopian

[@BigHomieSteveTheMetalHead]

Yes, and it's a serious threat in real life. This stuff makes me soo angry because of how brazenly authoritarian it is, "we chose a new identity for your child without telling you and you must comply big0t or else we'll have CPS take your child away"...... Bruh, I'd be going to jail if this ever happened to my child....

[@playedit0ut290]

I'm no American and I'm horrified by the scale of child exploitation by wokeness will come to my places.

[@Sergeant_Fury]

I found the whole thing creepy. I had a hard time watching most of it, but I agreed with her conclusions. Time for some people to grow up.

[@brandonhaygood5286]

Dude it made me want to throw up.

[@Nirmiti.]

“We’re talking about a twelve-year year-old here. Rose would eat ice-cream for every meal if it were up to her.” Well said.

[@ZoeyTG]

I'm not getting the Issue at all. Its fine for kids with names to have a preference. Its been around forever. Calling William, Bill instead. Using Initials like 'J.D.' instead of their name they don't like. Shorting longer name. Or just a nickname friends and family use instead of their legal name. One of my siblings names is Lawrence but he's been called Larry for as long as I can remember. So I wonder why push back. We do it all that time.

[@Nirmiti.]

​@@ZoeyTG In elementary school, I knew a boy named A.J. His name was Andrew Jackson. But since there was another Andrew in our class, he went by A.J. However, this has nothing to do with names. The issue is allowing a child to undergo breast removal surgery or if they’re male, vaginoplasty just because he or she says they feel like the opposite sex. A reason could be a little boy likes Barbies, tutus, and the color pink. For the final gender, it’s reversed. Simply put, vaginoplasty is a type of plastic surgery that takes the penis of the patient and turns it into a vagina. The depth of the vaginal cavity depends based on how long the penis is.

[@TheBusyHoneyBee]

​@@ZoeyTG the issue is that parents are still expected to be responsable for every aspect of a 12 year old life. They are responsable for their health, mental health, fisical well being education, social education, financial standing (if a 12 year old crashes a car into your home you expect the parents to pay for the damage), sexual well being. With them have this huge responsability they have huge powers over that kid. They need that huge Power in order to mold that bundle of impulses into a coherent and productive member of society. People do not value the work of the parents when they succed, but when they fail like the incel man in the basement or the mass shotter in the school, parents are the first to be blamed.

[@shai310]

And instead of understanding his point the teacher dared to correct him over his daughter's name which is wild to me. Think about the amount of audacity you need have in order to do that. Even though this is a show the teacher's attitude really pissed me off, especially when they started lecturing the father over this crap.

[@ZoeyTG]

​@@MsMaryPatricia my sibling growing up was literally called a different name than his legal one. I know plenty of people who were the same. But what I'm hearing you say is that you should not be allowed to decide what your name is.

[@abbytheredwolf174]

I’m sorry but a parent being corrected by a teacher that their kid changing her name to rock is just boggling

[@poogissploogis]

They would've had to escort me out, I would get into a screaming match with a teacher if they had the audacity to tell me who my child is.

[@abbytheredwolf174]

@@poogissploogis absolutely take care of my child’s education and be a safe place that if their being bullied to come to me. I will never allow my child to experience the amount of bullying I did and teachers should care more about that then correcting parents.

[@MatheusYami]

The funny part is that the teacher don't "correct" the father about the fact that a 12 year old would totally eat icecream for everymeal, but how you should call your child is totally wrong lol

[@abbytheredwolf174]

@@MatheusYami exactly like I’m all for allowing a kid to be a kid but a teacher doesn’t have the right to be doing this crap

[@LifeInPink999]

I’m not a violent person and I never hit anyone in my life but if a had a child and this happened to me that lady would have received a slap I may be a woman but I would have put all my will in that slap. I don’t even care about facing law for assault after, mentally demanding and traumatizing my child that may have to go trough psychiatric therapy after that is far more aggravating. Good thing the girl believed herself non-binary and wasn’t convinced to be trans even before starting puberty. It’s horrifying to hear what happens in USA I hope that this madness doesn’t arrive to Europe. Social services kidnaping children to protect them from “non-supporting” parents who rightfully oppose such nonsense at such very young age. Once the kid grows up and matures and it’s their real well thought decision then obviously I know I will support them but never when their brain didn’t even finish developing (which scientifically is demonstrated that happens at 21-22).

[@SaviorCross]

Baggage Claim, "And in this way, being non-binary serves as a mechanism to avoid taking responsibility, avoid consequences, and most importantly, avoid growing up." Truer words have never been spoken. Spot on.💯

[@remi4020]

The whole "pronoun" thing is not about respect, but about validation. If you ware confused about who and what you are, then go figure it out and good luck to you. Just don't make the whole of society walk on egg shells around you until you're done.

[@elizabethmchugh9811]

Well said my friend😀👍🌞

[@ilfautdanser9121]

i disagree, there might be a bit of validation desired in there, but many (most?) of these people will be borderline pd or narcissistic pd. their goal is control.

[@BigHomieSteveTheMetalHead]

It's not about validation, it's about control. These people are a totalitarian cult, it's 100% compliance or off to the gulags you go.....people in the UK are being arrested over this....

[@90sDRgirl]

It's about both respect and validation to a humans existence

[@MamaMOB]

And don't get mad when they don't agree with what you're claiming to be. A preference isn't something that HAS to be followed. Those are requirements.

[@85481]

I don't really care how people identify because life is too short for that but I have to say I find it rather odd. I'm a man, I'm male and have reached adulthood. I was shaped by certain social and cultural factors. I don't particularly define myself by that and I have rejected many of the stereotypical aspects of masculine identity. I'm no more or less a man as a result, it's simply a facet of who I am. I think it's because we care so much about identity in terms of gender or race that it becomes so important to people. There were and are men and women who really don't identify very strongly with their gender but who also don't see any reason to identify as anything else. I think I comes down to the fact that their idea of an identity is who you are as a person, not the boxes you check when filling out forms. How have you lived? What music do you like? What do you love? What do you believe in? What makes you get up in the morning? These things form a person's identity far more than their gender or sexuality. That's what I think anyway. It's telling that the people who not only see these as part of their identity but as their whole personality are often rather vacuous people.

[@bobtheball5384]

I think the disconnect for you is the fact that you're not acknowledging anybody who identifies as non binary and or trans for that matter, don't disagree with your statement that who you are as a person is your own identity. You have this notion in your mind that these people just think about what kind of music they like and surround their gender identity around it, when in reality is comes to both social and psychological effects to the brain that causes people to not feel attached to a group of people like man or woman. You say you personally don't feel defined by being a man, when there's clearly a LOT of people who do, or why else would there be people who get upset at the idea of another man wearing a dress, or a woman taking the breadwinner position in a family structure, or the idea of people transitioning to another gender in the first place?

[@AJLovesMC12]

@@bobtheball5384I think they’re just saying that why must gender define them as a person. Just because they are labeled a man doesn’t mean they aren’t able to express themselves however they want. I feel like the nonbinary identity is a redundant term for men/women who are androgynous. And there’s nothing wrong with being androgynous, but that doesn’t change your sex. In my opinion, the “nonbinary” label just puts more attention on how someone identities and less on how they are as individuals. Our gender markers are rather insignificant in the big scheme of things.

[@AJLovesMC12]

I will say that the transgender experience makes more sense to me. I can understand if a person doesn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Transitioning to look/feel like the opposite sex, like it makes sense to address them as the gender that they appear. It’s much harder to assume that someone is non-binary, and using they/them pronouns can be very confusing in conversation. People just aren’t accustomed to referring to an individual person as “them.” Like can we no longer refer to them as a man or woman, “sir” or “ma’am,” etc.?

[@foodchewer]

@@AJLovesMC12 You get it.

[@matthewatwood8641]

I don't care if people want to go around and call themselves whatever they want. Where I draw the line is when they demand that I call them whatever they want too, & when my children are exposed to it.

[@TheIceMan23]

people who know they're not interesting or special seek ways to make themselves feel special by resorting to things like identifying themselves as they/them. all of a sudden they're special in the eyes of the internet.

[@BrazyBlazer]

EXACTLY!!!

[@phydeux]

But ONLY for as long as they foster the interest of the internet. Then the bloom falls off the rose as the netizens tire of their antics, move on with their lives, etc... and suddenly they're even more depressed because they've become addicted to the adulation of a nameless crowd. I may not be exciting or special, but there's at least a few people in this world who love me for who I am. And I'm content with that and don't need random internet people to prop up my identity.

[@twofacetoo75]

@@phydeux Ah yes. The old 'you'll grow out of it, you're just confused, it's only a phase' argument. Because that worked so well with the gay community.

[@lamoe4175]

@@twofacetoo75 See my statement about 0.018% vs 10% = mass persuasion of immature minds. Whatever their age. I have yet to hear of one member of the gay community state they are in fact a different biological sex than what they were born as. Sexual preference yes - different actual sex? Feck no. Where they want to put their d!ck put or where they want one (real or fake) put is not the same as gender = the genitalia you were born with. Being non-binary or gay are both mental abortions. Being able to "grow out of it" is immaterial.

[@jlogan2228]

​@@twofacetoo75 bc homosexuality is a thing, being non binary is not. Being gay means I like the same gender as myself, non binary is "I don't FEEL like either or so therefore I'm something different" but you are not. You are either a man or a woman (unless born with a rare generic intersex defect where you still lean toward one or the other) There can be effeminate men and masculine women but they are still either a man or woman regardless. There is no such thing as a nonbinary person bc nonbinary humans don't exist, and the "mindset" of "I don't identify as either" is in fact just a mental lapse

[@kristofgriffin384]

Referring to "non-binary" people by they/them pronouns to please their feelings is like claiming the Earth is flat so as to not offend Flat-Earthers. They're both equally deluded.

[@angru_arches]

No...nin-binary is more deluded...flat-earthers can atleast claim they haven't been to outerspace to see the globe, like any of us...but the "non-binary", they deny their eyes...NO. They want a makebelief with made up characters where normal people are NPC's and they're the center of attention...

[@silvernova354]

Very good analogy - spot on. 👍

[@lgh233]

🫓

[@TheBoss0110101001]

How dare you!?

[@AjenjoAnejo]

@@TheBoss0110101001 Please read using greta's puppetberg voice.

[@darktenor4967]

I'm a male survivor of sexual abuse by girls as a teenager. For a long time I strongly disliked being male. I wasn't female, I knew I was straight, but everything about being male seemed pointless and oafish to me, just swaggering bravado and arrogance with nothing positive. I look pretty masculine, I'm a big guy with muscles, but I have a pony tale, and generally dress in a none-descript way. had "none binary", been a term ten years ago I'm pretty sure I'd have done it, since I feltso divorced from the idea of myself as a man. then I got married to a very definitely female lady, and suddenly bang! I find there are! good points about being male, and indeed being masculine, and ways of relating to my wife that can only be characterised by me being male, not silly things like who does the housework (we pretty much share that side of things), but things like me needing to be there if she has a bad dream. these days, the very idea of none-binary actively disgusts me, since it seems not a willingness to be open to all possibilities, but an unwillingness to recognise, and make something of what you have!

[@gabrialjackson5878]

Very wise 👌 observation. Thinking over this a lot

[@darktenor4967]

@@gabrialjackson5878 Thanks for the complement. To be honest though, I'm just recognising the bullet I dodged, what sort of a right royal mess I was in to make myself a target in the first place, and also obviously, the massive debt I owe to the lovely lady I'm married to. If I am thinking rationally I probably should feel sorry for none binary people, since like those suffering gender dysphoria, there's obviously something seriously psychologically wrong with their perception of reality, however on a personal level, I just find the very idea repellent! Something not helped by how loud, and narcissistic such people often are. My lady says in this I'm like a recovered smoker who now abominates tobacco.

[@jesterfeathers]

I’m glad you survived and met a good woman 💓

[@darktenor4967]

@@jesterfeathers Thanks. I won't pretend it's always easy or something that goes away, even with my lady's help, particularly I might say in an era when I can run into something fairly triggering on the news or in popular media, (and I use the term "triggering", here in it's old-fashioned serious sense). But yes, I'll be the first to say in my marriage I have been amazingly lucky.

[@BeyondDivested]

​@@darktenor4967Your story is so interesting and so glad you found a person and a purpose! But what exactly does the triggering trigger, please? Feelings of not wanting to BE male? Or feelings of not identifying with maleness? (Or both/neither/something else?)

[@moonbeeps]

Che: I'm non binary and I don't like labels Also Che: I was in a 8 month relationship with a STRAIGHT WHITE WOMAN.

[@creativename24601]

the writers chose "rock" for a gender ambiguous name and we're not supposed to take it as a joke? edit: jesus christ I did not mean to start a war over the legitimacy of rock as a name. i just thought rock as a name sounded funny. i guess I'm sorry I've never met anyone named rock before...

[@blinkybill2198]

Rock can actually be used as a male name. Rock Hudson (probably a stage name).

[@117Ender]

​@@blinkybill2198so you hand to reach sooo hard you found a stage man as the one example, statistical its not even an outlier its so out there its just 1. Out of a billion of English speakers and their names...

[@Nightman221k]

I was hoping I was mishearing and they said Brock... but Rock. She goes from Rose to Rock. Lovely...

[@Jane-ow7sr]

​@@Nightman221kI understand Rocky as a name but just.....Rock?? That's moronic

[@HerculesBallsInc]

@@117Ender There are literally dozens of children named 'Rock' every year. Your perception of reality is false.

[@gioti9246]

When I was a child I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle; I was lucky this was more than 20 years ago otherwise in this "supporting" society I would have been thrown down the sewers to realize my identity needs.

[@Zeburaman2005]

And doused in chemical waste for good measure, all in your best interest of course.😜

[@11lvr11]

I like turtles

[@Sentinelll]

I was a big turtles fan too. Anyway, my pronouns are shelled/unshelled.

[@ryanc5572]

​@@11lvr11Bobby Hill reference 😂

[@reikun86]

I wanted to be The Rocketeer. I thought flying with a jet pack strapped to my back would’ve been awesome.

[@JonSnow-YThandle]

Well. That J character is convincingly portrait as needy, selfish, self-absorbed, uncompassionate, cruel and dismissive of others. If the showrunners wanted me to like the character they failed. I would classify them as a supermassive a hole.

[@Sergeant_Fury]

"Them" is a plus-size implication and oppressive, while "it" is so much more neutral and, dare I say, non-binary.

[@JonSnow-YThandle]

@@Sergeant_Fury :) that would be a brave and stunning statement indeed! Less is often more. Imagine King had named his novel "Them" 🤡🎈

[@matheusalmeida8067]

As someone who used to identify as non-binary for some years, you translated most of my thoughts after leaving the term behind. Just for some context, I was raised by a very feminist solo mom and a family mostly composed by women, so I was always free to do certain things that are considered "girly" by society, though I was a boy. And for me, it was always very clear that gender roles were simply social constructs which changed throughout place and time in the human history, but it was also very hard to ecplain that to others in a society so sexist and binary, so I have been extremely judged and misunderstood by people around me, outside my household. When I decided to identify publically as a non-binary person, I just tried to translate my wish for not being classified by society's ideas of gender, but it turns out things went the other way around, because it came to a point where people were creating new terms and classifications each day, such as "genderqueer", "gender-fluid", etc, which, from my point of view, contradicts the whole purpose of "being non-binary". And also, honestly, when people try to discipline you into "being more masculine/feminine", it's way easier to tell then "I'm actually non-binary" instead of debunking their ideas of gender roles, so I believe that's where a lot of non-binary folks stand by, unfortunately.

[@lovelymill]

from my experience, it's easier to tell people "i just want/don't want to" and "i don't care" whenever they say something you "should" do as a man/woman, rather than explaining over and over again why are you identifying as a non-binary or what does it even mean, but that's just me. it's more cooler to be gender-nonconforming woman and aknowledge my biology, that's the REAL freedom for me. others can f#ck off if they don't like it!

[@ooblebip]

This is really insightful. I understand the appeal of nonbinarydom and why so many of my peers fall for it - it's sold as a rejection of gender roles and stereotypes, and of being labelled (though ironically it upholds the former and creates more of the latter) which is what most young ppl growing into ourselves want. I think, as you came to realise, it becomes apparent that's not what it is at all, but admitting we were wrong (esp if we've asked to be called new names/pronouns/all that crap) is very hard to do. I'm glad you're happy being you now!

[@Mel-wn9gb]

I don't think it's neccesarily about admitting that you were wrong. I think for a lot of these people, they're too attached to the idea of being different, special and unique to acknowledge the blatant sexism that they're perpetuating when they buy into 'gender'. It's so cool to call yourself 'enby' and to feel a part of something. I can understand this in young people. Not so much grown adults who should know better.

[@ooblebip]

@@Mel-wn9gb that's undeniably a big part of it too

[@Grokford]

Why is it unfortunate that people trying to escape the gender binary are escaping the gender binary?

[@Solar_Corpus]

They’re so “individualized” that they’ve managed to create an entirely new stereotype. Congrats on them. 💀🎉

[@MsDudette21]

An individual accepts their biological sex regardless if they are androgynous or not. The fact there areadults who are self proclaimed nonbinary is beyond pathetic.

[@chedderburg]

It’s just narcissism. The majority of them have other personality disorders. It will be interesting to see how we look back on this time.

[@sjent]

@@chedderburg _It will be interesting to see how we look back on this time._ We already know. Look up history of Roman Empire decline. Perversions, decadence, incompetence, corruption, extreme ignorance and stupidity, etc. What those people push as evolution and progress is better known as regression and perversion. We are living in post-reason society. When people are afraid to point out clearly absurd claims, over fear of being punished and ostracized.

[@satisfied656]

No wonder the human civilization is going down the drain like diarrhea!🤔#NothingElseMattersAnymore😏

[@Solar_Corpus]

@@chedderburg you believe things will return to normal???? Lol

[@dokessezeaka5159]

So are we supposed to feel pity for the 50 year old woman who left her loving family to be with a woman who is just as confused about who she is?? And then ends up even more confused because she’s trying to understand chae, but chae doesn’t even understand herself

[@AbcAbc-sp1od]

Yes, in fact we're required to feel pity for them, lest the alphabet police throw us into social jail.

[@tingle2323]

No actually...she is ruining other sane people because of her ,she should be condemned than feeling sorry for her..many people like her have taken advantage of feeling sorry for them

[@tingle2323]

​@@AbcAbc-sp1odwe surely not ..if we feel pity for them..what should we show to people who got ruined because of her...those same person, children who know what they r doing in marriage and family ..who atleast have basic sense and respect as human being..what should we show them if this woman is victim...it's look like they don't even have bare minimum as decent human being

[@tingle2323]

​@darktitan6308it's not artnor life...she doesn't even have basic decency as human being.. forget about bonding as family towards her family members.. because of such people ,so many sane people and children get ruined..

[@laela6289]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@MomoSimone22]

Che saying its better to be unsure because if you're sure then there's no room to change is completely idiotic. You can be sure of who you are at one point in time and grow and mature and be different at another point of your life... Maybe not a completely different person, but different. Also, being in that constant state of figuring out who they are sounds like torture. I can't imagine living a life where all I think about is my gender or lack there of. I have other things to do in life.

[@aliya6158]

Exactly! you can change if you have some shape, if you don't have any form/boundaries /basis how you even understand that you are changing?

[@theresas740]

I can be sure who is a stupid f* and an emotional toddler, thus certain not to date them and that IS better.

[@moralityisnotsubjective5]

Che also complained about others wanting them to be alone and sad. Yet ironically such people always end up alone and sad because others get tired of dealing with their selfishness and constant abuse so they leave. Then they accuse the other person of being a bigot to save face.

Reminds me of Timothy 2 “always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.”

[@moralityisnotsubjective5]

@ Such truths are why there are some who like to mock scripture. They hate being told their own wrongs and failings and God is not shy about doing it.

[@yumemitai612]

I used to call myself non-binary at around 13-16 (only online, never talked about it IRL). But that's how I thought of myself. For reference I'm a girl and I was born as one. I think the reason I didn't want to be a girl, or especially not a woman, is because I didn't want to be like any of the girls or women I had seen in my life. Pretty much the only people who I looked up to were men. But I didn't want to be a man either. I didn't want to grow up, I didn't want to become a woman like my mom who is a housewife or any other woman I knew or saw even in movies. I think the lie that non-binary sells is that you can become different than the rest of the people with your gender simply by rejecting it. I disliked a lot of women and it's likely because they often don't work as hard - because they're not held to the same standards as men. The solution was to hold myself to those standards despite being a woman. To improve myself, not to try to run from reality. A woman is simply the physical fact of what I am biologically, it's not an identity and it doesn't determine my personality and my values. I'm in college working toward a good stable career, I learned a language, and I'm trying to get more into art. I'm trying to be a respectable person. That's what matters most to me. That's what this was always about. I wanted to run from womanhood because I hated what I saw. But I can hold myself to different standards. And part of the standards I want to hold myself to are being something reliable for other people. And part of that is having values and sticking to something normal and understandable. The fact is, the "manliest" or most respectable thing I can do is embrace being a woman. Not as an "identity" but as a fact of the way I physically am, and the way other people see me. I'm a lot happier with myself now. I'm on the same page with the world and working with what it is, rather than wanting it to change for me.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

No different than any other woman.

[@ВладимирКруглов-к9о]

"I'm in college working toward a good stable career, I learned a language, and I'm trying to get more into art" - so, a future McDonald's employee then.

[@yumemitai612]

@@ВладимирКруглов-к9о ???? Art as a hobby. Not a career.

[@emona]

Beautiful!

[@Claude_1303]

Can be a career if ur lucky enough ​@@yumemitai612

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

the way the teacher put "rocks" FATHER in his place - by overruling what he wanted over his 12 year old girl. is just something that HURT to see. because it is happening in real life. kids get to say things in school and the teacher approves and FORCE the parent without their consent to do what their child says. it is disgusting

[@khfan4life365]

What’s even sicker is that actually happens in real life too.

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

yes, that's what i said.. ;/ yikes@@khfan4life365

[@TheBizziniss]

If you are ever in that position, don’t argue with the school. Just tell them you want your kid and all there stuff they have in the school in front of you in the next 15 minutes and then leave. There are other schools. There is home school. Heck, you can always move if it means doing what’s best for your kid. Don’t play the game where some other adult who isn’t responsible now for your child’s whole life decides you are going to be left out of the decision making process.

[@snowbunnie1113]

The writers just unintentionally show how schools and teachers brainwash children into feeling confused and miserable. If those teachers were supposed to be portrayed in a positive way, they seriously missed the mark.

[@norah4892]

They even push kids in that direction. It's sickening.

[@MariaWitlof]

God the narcissism of the non binary person in the show

[@kcirtapelyk6060]

“Non binary” is just a way for telling others that they’re narcissists without actually using the word narcissist.

[@AspieMemoires]

I don’t watch Tv anymore, barely did before. Nor have I ever liked these kinds of shows, however these brief clips just makes me realize “No wonder people are getting so neurotic”

[@NadiaSeesIt]

For real, I would never ever be around a person like that. LGBT people seem to be more and more like that

[@ilfautdanser9121]

fortunately, it's _completely_ different in real life.

[@WildZephyr]

I just finished the video and holy balls. Imagine getting involved with someone like that.

[@taylormelton3088]

As a female who had feelings for a non-binary person and tried to date them (I feel silly now for even trying), I can say this is all totally correct. It hurts how much I was in Miranda’s shoes but thank god we didn’t end up together. There was no structure and I never felt completely comfortable. I often felt anxious and worried, like I was going to do something wrong. This whole “let’s just see what happens” and “just go with flow” never benefitted me and only made me even more anxious. It felt like this person always assumed the worst of me and didn’t want to be “pushed” into a relationship even though they also wanted it (I think?). I was always in the wrong. Always. I apologized for everything even though this person said I didn’t have apologize to BUT was easily offended and extremely moody. Everything I did was wrong. The pronouns were always wrong. My “assumptions” were always wrong. This person biggest fear was losing people but also kept walls up, keeping people out mentally. They also avoided as much responsibility as possible but expected me to ALWAYS be responsible. Trying to date a non-binary person was one of the most exhausting experiences of my life. I will be friends with them but I will NEVER date one!!! This video totally validated me and my experience.

[@radicaldreamer927]

It sounds to me like you're describing someone who isn't ready for platonic relationships either, let alone romantic ones. What you're describing is abusive behavior, quite frankly, and we really shouldn't put up with it from friends any more than we should from our romantic partners.

[@Nyorane]

You go girl! Tell it! 🔥✊

[@TattyDarling]

Literal whole entire abuse!!! I am so sorry you had to go through that, you deserve love, respect, trust, and security. You should never be made to feel like you have to apologise 24/7!!!! I can’t imagine the anxiety

[@noonesishome]

I wouldn't even want to be friends with one. They sound insufferable.

[@linasaidso1355]

There is no such thing as non-binary. It's just a name for people who are never satisfied with anything, much less themselves. That should have been your warning right up front.

[@anauckermann]

"She's 12, she'd have ice cream for breakfast everyday if she could" that basically sums it up.

[@troyevitt2437]

Age means NOTHING. At 12, I wasn't questioning whether I was straight and I had no use for "permission" for what kind of music to like or what shows to watch. I was paying for PG-tickets to see R-movies without a parent. I also KNEW ice cream is not a meal...I STILL knew ice cream wasn't a meal at 16 when I decided marijuana-prohibition laws didn't mean anything more than that I had to do it behind the back of those who claim "authority". A 12-year-old IS his/her/their own arbiter regardless of WHO dares "not approve".

[@lasurfette7830]

"Age means nothing" doesn't mean much when followed by a singular anecdote.@@troyevitt2437

[@eddystylez]

@@troyevitt2437 You're 100% right, 8 year olds should be able to drive cars and drink alcohol because it's THEIR CHOICE.

[@TrafalgarWaterDLaw-dl5cm]

In the end it just boils down to what media you consume and what's "cool" atm. So essencially this kids turn something normal as "Gender expression" and give it fancy names to stand out. Like back in the day if a girl wore more boyish stuff and had non typical interests you'd still know its just a girl/woman with non typical style and inzerests. By turning it into a identity you created a big house of glas that shatters the second someone doesn't tespond to it how you want.

[@troyevitt2437]

@@eddystylez It's not what it says on paper, M'Lord, it's what you can prove. By the time I turned 21, I'd had my share of hangovers and had been playing in bands in 21+ Only music venues since 16. At 55, I still phone in my weed orders though my state is a damn sight from legalizing recreational M/J. Rules and laws need more than mere existence to impress me. An illegal act on my part must twinge my conscience to be wrong otherwise, I have merely disregarded the preference of somebody who means nothing to me.

[@kcc-karenschroniccorner9432]

If a focus group could destroy Che’s identity so quickly, that says more about their sense of security and self worth.

[@CronDon93]

She's a glass house narcissist hiding behind a label

[@wishIKnewHowToLove]

IT'S PRETTY CLEAR THERE IS NONE.

[@ironrattlesnake3975]

Her*

[@shoepixie]

@@ironrattlesnake3975 seriously?

[@d3ltaohniner261]

​@@shoepixieyes, really.

[@DocKobryn]

It seems as if Che is using her lifestyle as the reason for being personally cruel. That's just the way she is. Che is cruel. The show also failed to point out that if Miranda made fun of Che like that. Then Che would be crying to the social justice people in an instant.

[@theoaktreejourneys6246]

that's a great way to put it!

[@alexmuenster2102]

I wish that, during Che's stand-up, Miranda had sauntered up to the stage and then *decked* Che à la Will Smith.

[@satisfied656]

No wonder the human civilization is going down the drain like diarrhea!🤔#NothingElseMattersAnymore😏

[@Hidinginyourcupboard]

Yeh Che is a selfish butthead

[@andrewfantome4020]

Have you noticed how much this is reminiscent of the poseur punks who used fighting the system as a cover for running away from responsibility? The movie Salt Lake City Punk actually shows this very well.

[@TangoEightDelta]

What I personally dislike most about the Non-binary gender movement, applies to your first point. "I don't want to be limited by being a man or a woman." -- I'm sorry they/them, but I've spent 30 years proving that the fact that I am a woman *does not* limit me. I don't have to fit stereotypical gender roles. In fact, I don't. I am gender non-conforming. Doesn't take away my womanhood or femineity. I am also assertively aggressive and confrontational and competitive - all masculine traits - but they don't make me not a woman any more. The whole point of breaking down gender norms was to prove men and women can be absolutely anything they want to be, without any limits. But now you have "NB" people wandering around trying to tell me I can't be a woman because I'm not a stereotypical woman. I'm not a Barbie doll, so I can't be female. I hate it. I absolutely despise it.

[@altruisticflower9627]

Nobody gets to tell you that you’re not a woman. I absolutely agree with that as a nonbinary person. But has a nonbinary person ever really told you explicitly that they think you can’t be a gender non-conforming woman?

[@Randomzooowner]

​​​@@altruisticflower9627 maybe that hasn't explicitly been said but, internalising the idea being a woman or a man limits you is bs. If you agree with her point that traditionally masculine or feminine things shouldn't define you, then there's really no point in the whole enby shtick.

[@altruisticflower9627]

@@Randomzooowner If people “can be absolutely anything they want to be, without any limits,” per the original comment, then why can’t we just be *people* without binary gender labels? Again, I’m all for anyone being anything without regard to gender stereotypes, and have no interest in trying to tell anyone who or what they are. Personally, I reject binary labels s as well; why would anyone need to put one of them on another person who refuses them, if not to impose some kind of limit?

[@Grokford]

"I'm sorry they/them, but I've spent 30 years proving that the fact that I am a woman does not limit me." This is a misunderstanding. People aren't saying that women are weak or useless and that they're better so they can't be women. They're saying that all the trappings of womanhood are unpleasant and uncomfortable for them so they abandoned them. What was liberating for you can be a burden for others.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

@@Grokford The point is that there's no such thing as 'the trappings of womanhood'. That's sex stereotyping. There's just womanhood, which means to be female and human. That says nothing about who or what you can do or be. You're the ones putting the burden of sex stereotypes onto others by framing us as 'binary' or 'cis'. That makes us feel unpleasant and uncomfortable, because it's sexism.

[@chez8219]

Che is the most toxic and disgusting character in AJLT. So cringey, so annoying.

[@jneilson7568]

That scene with the person validating Che for her sadistic standup was creepy af too, encouraging no personal responsibility at all. What a way to live...

[@dmoney2015]

The act of not conforming to any group while conforming to a group will never cease to be funny. It was goths when I was a kid and my dad had hippies.

[@papajekket]

Until now I was genuinely convinced it's impossible to make Sex and the city worse. Wow.

[@HumanLandslide]

I watched the second SATC movie and wanted to die from cringe. I'm afraid to watch this.

[@brianaguilar8283]

@@HumanLandslidesomehow it’s still better than this new series

[@HumanLandslide]

@@brianaguilar8283 I've seen the whole thing since my last comment :D Holy fuck. It was just so bad I couldn't stop. Who is this made for (unironically)? Even if you are a humorless wokie obsessed with microagressions, I don't see you laughing at this. That being said, I think the non-binary representation was spot on. Che's a one-dinensional, self-centered, immature woman. Rose is a spoiled little brat with no parental guidance. It really is what non-binary is all about.

[@dragonflydaughters]

I can totally see why Kim Cattrall decided to jump ship. These look like some of the most annoying characters, and unentertaining plotlines I've ever seen. It's like they all just have their noses in the air, acting as if they're better than everyone else. So if you want to be part of their idea of a "perfect society", you had better learn to smile and accept all of the liberal/gendered wackiness that gets thrown at you daily.

[@24Lorn]

@@HumanLandslide My very personal opinion: it's not that bad, after all. I mean, the first season is VERY cringeworthy and tiring because the ""wokeness"" (I hate using this word negatively because I know it has a very positive original meaning) is exhausting and way too much forced. Pretty nothing is spontaneous. The second season, on the other hand, is much more realistic, it's more spontaneous, it feels a lot closer to the original show's spirit. Unfortunately it has a very, VERY stupid season finale that ruins most of the experience.

[@michaelrichter8766]

This just proves that humanity has reach a level of comfort and wealth that some people can afford to worry about gender. Imagine being in the year 1810 and be talking to your friends about your preferred pronouns.

[@HonestDogAL]

Extra layer of irony : the entire Queer/non binary thing is steeped in Marxism, and is meant to disrupt the existing system so the socialist utopia can be ushered in - most of these people have no idea that they are being exploited for political gain

[@somethingclever8916]

Until 1938, children had full time jobs.

[@somegrill7561]

That’s a bad thing? Anyway don’t act like we’re in a place of perfection yet

[@LuisCasstle]

​@@somegrill7561that we have more luxuries and wealth is not the bad thing, it's what people are doing with their free time and lack of real problems is the issue. Now they're trying to make the smallest non issues seen like earth shattering problems.🤦🏽‍♂️

[@shawdou3327]

@@somegrill7561Comfort and perfection are completely different things. We well never be in place of perfection. Because it would mean everyone would be super kind and considerate to every person around them. And that will never happen.

[@nunnaza]

The million dollar question is: "Is there a part 2 of this video?" because you have hit the bloody nail on the head... 👍👍👍

[@james.e.sjonsson3088]

How? This was the most flood logic I have ever heard, and I have listened to Andrew Tate.

[@gineriella]

There's nothing wrong with androgyny. Bowie made a whole career off it. It's okay to not feel womanly one day and ultra womanly the next. Erasing identity to create a new one just smacks of entitlement and special snowflakery. Being a woman is an amazing experience, and we're up against a lot of forces that want to erase it.

[@insertnamehere5809]

Marlene Dietrich did the whole androgynous thing nearly 100 years ago.

[@orboakin8074]

Ironically, it's mainly your western leftist/liberal women trying to erase it😂😂

[@brandonhaygood5286]

I wouldn't say Bowie made a career out of it, that implies the whole reason he was successful was because he adopted that androgynous look when he only dressed that way during one part of his career and the reason he endured was because he adopted different styles both in fashion and music.

[@gabrialjackson5878]

Pretty profound observation

[@bluehydrangea5506]

I have a a friend who regularily complains they cant dress androgynous/dye their hair crazy colours anymore because theyre afraid people will assume theyre non binary. In our college program, all the kids who claim to be non binary literally just dye their hair pink, change their pronouns, and then call it a day. Its such a lazy, half assed way to get attention and be dIfFeReNt.

[@HansDampf-bt8jy]

What I hate the most about those people is, they don't want to be put in boxes but put themselves in a box and they put everybody else in boxes.

[@Blindpoet1988]

They want to get other people out of boxes by ironically putting them in new ones. I tend to think the reason why these people want to hold on their precious labels is because they have no true individual identities to speak of as people. I know it's sad and all but in the words of a certain Crime Clown: It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic, oh what the heck I'll laugh anyway HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Sidera17]

Being autistic, I realized early on that in every way, I was not biologically programmed to experience most of the modern world the way 95% of the population does. I can't *be* anything biologically other than what I am, nor do I desire to, but I don't act like 95% of the population is inherently "oppressed, wrong, brainwashed" etc for seeing the world differently than me, nor do I attempt to dismantle THEIR way of life. My life comes with its own perks, but also its own set of profound struggles as I don't fit in well, but I don't desire to fit in neatly if it goes against my basic biology and neuropsychology. However, I understand that the world doesn't bend around ME-- I can choose if and how to bend around the world. Sometimes these are painful choices in having to censor myself to be accepted, other times there's choice to embrace myself but accept exclusion. I have to be responsible for these choices, just like I have to be responsible for interfacing with the people who are like me and who are fundamentally NOT. I would love be more accepted, especially for medical/neurological issues I cannot control, but I also cannot think that destroying society completely because I don't get accepted is actually the way to go. This is the reason I cannot fundamentally agree or get behind the Woke movement in so many marginalized communities, including the neurodivergent one. The same issues plague it like what you have explained in this video. I don't think the push for change comes from.a genuine care or understanding of all of society and what it takes for a society to function coherently.

[@lillith5755]

Very relatable, I feel you 💜

[@psylentps6577]

I distinctly remember a conversation I had with my father when I was like 16 or 17 when he laid this out for me. That was 30 years ago, but the advice and perspective he gave me then has never led me astray and continues to help me navigate complicated relationships. If I don't like the way I am being treated or I think I have been misunderstood, instead of getting upset with them for "being wrong", I can look at how/what I presented, try to understand how they came to react as they did, and then adjust my approach going forward as necessary to avoid confusion. He put the power to change my world in my hands instead of having to wait for someone else to fix it to make me better.

[@EdnaFrom85]

Well said.

[@yourlocallesbian6448]

amazingly said!!! I don't have autism or anything like it but most of us people have to behave like this, I will act more myself with people I know then at a job interview, I will deny myself when I need to be responsible for others

[@Hypestrike1]

This guy with Asperger's seconds your position.

[@jill3n]

My jaw is on the floor seeing the clips from the show… what on earth is happening in our society!!?!???!?

[@gonzoyork1908]

True

[@ВладимирКруглов-к9о]

Better stop it before it's too late.

[@SaoirseDorcha]

The part where the teacher corrected the parents on the kids name is ridiculous. There is a reason kids need parents/guardians, and can't make certain decisions till they're adults.

[@danielbourne1089]

It took a group of strangers 1 hour to ruin her entire identity.....she actually admitted that 😂😂😂😂😂

[@mattd5240]

Show's how pathetic of an existence she lives.

[@DaniHGirl]

My thoughts exactly. A person who truly knows who they are would not be destroyed in an hour, or at all for that matter.

[@riffbw]

it just proves her identity and self worth are so dependent on outside forces she's proving she's not comfortable with who she is. Sadly, this issue is getting worse with social media. Everyone wants to be famous and feel important that they mold themselves into whatever they believe will be like by the masses. A truly happy person does what brings them joy regardless of what others think.

[@jamesneese7663]

because her entire identity and existence is validation. All those cheers and high fives from the audience is her only reason to live. Without it just goes through life eating, drinking and pissing it all away. Without that attention, that limelight, that applause....what is she? just another nobody. She doesn't want to be a nobody. She needs to be special, get attention, get the limelight... If she was truly comfortable with herself as she CLAIMS, that criticism of the work would have been just that....criticism. That she took it so personally meant it wasn't about the act...it was about herself.....

[@Soleilsorrel33]

​@DaniHGirl that part!!! If it could be ruined that easily, it was not authentic or inherently who she was. Cosplay at best.... Back to the drawing board... 🤦🏾‍♀️ What a horrible way to exist.

[@6reen6uy]

It’s the word police, it’s forced compliance. I say down with the narcissists.

[@BigHomieSteveTheMetalHead]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who see's it that way.

[@Devil-Made]

Amen 🙌

[@mallorycarpinski1160]

Labels are about communication. So we've gone from "It's difficult to communicate this properly" to "why are you demanding that I communicate properly? I'm sooo tired of having to explain myself when I deliberately make no sense"

[@DSKekaha]

If they could just realize that a pronoun is not a label. If we call Rose "she", we are not labelling her and branding her a female or something. It's just a placeholder word, you stupid kids

[@somethingclever8916]

Its basically a woman saying "why should I tell you I'm angry. You should know" and being upset over lack of clarity. You're creating the lack of clarity

[@leeb8186]

People who reject labels seem to generally be overly concerned with labels, have a propensity for labeling, focused on ostentatious behavior and appearances, and sometimes (but not always) seem more insecure than the average person who really is just living their life without focusing on such things at all. I can be labeled as a multitude of things every day but I really don't think about it, my interest, intentions, and aspirations are what's on my mind and those largely don't change if anything superficial about me does or how I'm perceived, I simply rather don't need the attention or have anything to prove to others

[@waffleempress5772]

"Labels", "limits", "clipping your wings", dear god, I'm just a biological woman who has always been in full harmony with my biological sex or gender or however they want to call it. I'm me, and there is no one else I'd rather be. I'm not the one using labels as my personality traits. I am not limited by anything, I'm just comfortable.

[@nova0000]

That was very nicely put

[@TrafalgarWaterDLaw-dl5cm]

It used to be called gender expression. The facg you know your sex and gender. But still have your own interests, style in clothing or hairstyles etc. And nothing ever helf you back but you. Other people not always agreeing it aprooving was always the same as well.

[@Kris.G]

A lovely profile name, Waffle Empress....

[@Kate-is5mz]

It's only "clipping wings" and "limiting" when you're pathologically consumed with the concern of how others see and think of you.

[@moonshineblues204]

You sound angry. Are you on your period? 😂 and by period I mean time of the month where our estrogen pills make us fart🎉🎉

[@otaviopalanca]

The problem started when "being mentally ill" became considered as "expressing yourself".

[@baconsarny-geddon8298]

Yep. And when we started labelling "denying your evidence-based biology" as somehow "being your authentic self".

[@thedowagerd.2431]

Anyone old enough to remember the old trope in Woodie Allen movies about needing to visit your shrink over your Identity Crisis?

[@jersydvl]

So what you're saying is we need to bring back mental asylums? Great idea actually

[@deathlight4210]

@@jersydvlIs not a great idea 😐

[@keystone6162]

@@jersydvl stop that. Discuss honestly, share ideas and opinions honestly They didn't say bring back asylums. You don't need asylums to treat mental illness.

[@dominicscott9145]

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism."

[@southoceann]

Another diagnose: rejection to become an adult.

[@Laneous14]

So, basically, all liberal women everywhere?

[@reelmermaid8844]

Sounds about right.

[@therealtosis]

Also, the role of wife as you say in the video, did not change by people who played nice and followed the rules. It changed by people who were willing to live unsafe and push the boundaries, something that was much appreciated by people who were not so brave.

[@indivisibleman]

Striving to be unique so hard that you become just another empty clone. It’s attention seeking bull$hit that fools no one. Completely worthy of mockery.

[@breathinginfumes7209]

Che reminds me of that saying "if you think everyone else is an asshole, then it's probably you who is the asshole"

[@tayntp]

To these people, being female/women is oppressed by men and patriarchy. But then quickly realized that switching to men also comes with male responsibilities and actually less privilege in many cases. So they invented Non-Binary just to avoid all the gender roles, accountability and responsibility that came with it. I figured them out years ago, but I always got shun, flagged post or shadow hidden whenever I tried posting this thought. Thank you for making this video and speaking this message out loud.

[@umwha]

This is why all nonbinaries are women. Rarely see any males opt for this category.

[@somethingclever8916]

They are conforming to another conformist group.

[@tayntp]

@@somethingclever8916 Conform with different groups but they do shared similar personality.

[@somethingclever8916]

​@@tayntpthey conform with the same haircuts, entertainment, music and aesthetic taste. Its still conforming

[@tayntp]

@@somethingclever8916 That’s right. How ironic, isn’t it?

[@kairallison]

non-binary identities don't nessicarily "destroy" social roles. a parent is a parent. they role is to love, teach, and protect the children they raise, it shouldn't matter the gender. the way you treat a romantic partner or expect to be treated by one shouldn't be determined by your reproductive organs and gender identity, but by what works for you and your partner in a healthy relationship. how much you love your child or how well you care for or support them should not very based on their gender either. and non-binary identities are not even a new concept. many cultures around the world have had concepts around tertiary gender identities of varying kinds that played different social roles through out history. . che is a bad representation of nonbinary folk. what they are, is a representation of a toxic and selfish person looking for anyway to portray themselves as the the main character in their own mind and the victim or matyr when things in their life don't go the way they want. and there are just as many cis and trans folk who can act the same way. that behaviour isn't an inherent part of a specific gender identity (non-binary actually being an umbrella term for any identity that is specifically man or woman which a fairly large spectrum including gender fluid, agender, and 2 spirited). that sort of toxic behaviour really is just an individual's personality. . this seemed like an interesting video essay at first but became fairly clear that it was more of a character break down that focused on the wrong aspect of a character from a show that is honestly pretty satirical and far from realistic or relatable and then cherry picked a irl examples to back up the misguided conclusion. . non-binary identities aren't about finding a way to scream for attention or having an excuse to get the "moral high ground" when misgendered, they're about having a way of trying to put a name to how you feel inside for a sense of clarity within yourself. isn't (or at least shouldn't be) about a performance put on for others but just honesty with your self. for example: someone who is gender fluid will identify as a man some days and a woman other days and will flip flop back and forth. that isn't someone who is trans or confused. gender fluidity is simply have a far more fluid and flexible sense of their own gender identity, but that doesn't mean that person will have multiple personalities, be unfaithful to their partner, or explode at strangers for using the wrong pronoun, it just means their sense of comfort within their own sense of self will change from time to time. a 2 spirited person (which is a very very old for of tertiary gender identity for many north american indigenous groups) is someone with a single identity who has both both binary gender identities (man and woman) at the same time but not mixed together. 2 spirited people have served as important spiritual guides and community pillars for their people for a centuries. agender people feel no connection to the man or woman gender identities and essential have no gender identity. there are also gender identities like the one you mention where people feel like an even mix of both, right in the middle, and non-binary identities where people feel like they are a third gender entirely without feminine or masculine aspects. all of these examples fall under the non-binary umbrella. non-binary identities may affect what clothes or fashions someone feels comfortable or good in, what pro-nouns they feel more comfortable being addressed by, and how they relate to others emotionally. but non-binary identities will NOT affect someone's morals or social behaviours in the way this video suggests. what will affect that is whether someone is just a genuinely shitty person by nature or if a person has had some sort of major trauma that's resulted in mental illness and that person chooses to lash out at others instead of seeking proper professional aid in treating their trauma.

[@beccf.s.8012]

It’s exhausting. They are exhausting. Create your own damn town for Non Binaries and leave us alone!

[@marianeparsi1323]

Yeah!

[@BourgeoisBran3114]

😂😂😂 yes

[@thomasmalatesta7331]

That would require them to take responsibility and create rules.

[@kaeya8674]

Deal with it 😝

[@beccf.s.8012]

@@kaeya8674 I don’t and I won’t. He or she, her and his and if you don’t like it, you deal with it.

[@nfounder4335]

Non-binary just means you don’t identify as either of the western Christian binary genders. I, as a Native Hawaiian, identify as Māhū, a third-gender (essentially trans) identity that has been a part of Hawaiian culture for hundreds of years. I also identify as non-binary, as Māhū is not recognized by the MAJORITY of western society, and I don’t feel like having to explain a part of my heritage every time someone decides to play Professor Oak. When American illegally annexed Hawai’i, my ancestors were forced to submit to western Christian ideology, the banning of their language, dance, genders, anything that the missionaries decided was “blasphemous.” This experience was shared across the globe by cultures labeled as “savage” and “primitive” because nations like the UK and the US decided they needed to be “cleansed.” Queer people like me wouldn’t be in this position in the first place if western society hadn’t been trying to erase us for the last 200+ years.

[@Grokford]

Imperial control regularly destroyed nonbinary gender worldwide. Though even in certain areas of Europe third genders did exist.

[@Boobalopbop]

Rock is the most selfish, unlikable, ridiculous brat I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s bad enough that the parents caved and had a THEM mitzvah. Why have it at all? This is supposed to be a sacred, religious ceremony, not her moment to explore her sexuality or what ever. What about the compromise of, doing it for your parents because they worked hard and it’s important to them, and I can be Rock (dumb name) every other day of the year until I change it to Roll. Or Paper or Scissors. Either Charlotte or Harry should have acted like a parent and just called the thing off, and started homeschooling until she cut the 💩

[@Sergeant_Fury]

Well, there was Rock Hudson. That worked for him.

[@Boobalopbop]

@@Sergeant_Fury His real name was Roy. And it fits a grown man, not a little girl. Which she is.

[@lolamalu]

Best comment 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@LoveAndSnapple]

Exactly! This was a ceremony and tradition steeped in the religious community. Bar mitzvah for a boy, bat mitzvah for a girl. It’s supposed to be a coming of age ceremony, isn’t it? When you enter society as a man or a woman? If you don’t identify as either, then you shouldn’t get one. And the parents shouldn’t have caved for that foolishness.

[@alaricgoldkuhl155]

My son is dating a they/them and I'm concerned for them both. It is a well-known axiom that "focus on self is suffering". And that's all non-binary people do. Hence all those people "living their joy" are miserable, constantly angry and hurt, and it radiates outward to everyone else. There is no game without rules. You can break or subvert rules, but such actions are still defined by their relationship to those rules. They/thems wanna make up the rules as they go along and wonder why no one wants to play with them.

[@bobsmith5185]

Except your son wants to play with “them”…

[@projectz358]

Good luck with that mess of a person.

[@SaviorCross]

If you love someone you won't lie to them. Your son is lying to the person he is dating, and eroding his own integrity and moral compass, every time he uses "they/them"...This person, if they loved your son, wouldn't make him lie. It doesn't end well because he is forced to live in the persons world, while the person lives in their own world with their own rules that they can change anytime they want to based on whatever they are feeling at the moment. He needs to get away from the individual, before this person drops him for someone else that goes by "ze/zer"...

[@sxatcychan1988]

That last paragraph reminds me of the "Calvin & Hobbes" segments that involve Calvinball. The whole gimmick is that it's an outdoor game that doesn't have any official rules to follow, and is supposed to be the ideal activity for a kid who doesn't like being told what to do. However, in some of their plays, the two characters would try creating rules that would put them at the advantage, resulting in feelings of frustration all around.

[@alaricgoldkuhl155]

@@SaviorCross Exactly. He's gonna get hurt most likely unless she snaps out of this delusion, but he's happy now and he'll learn from it and become stronger. There is hope though - she makes him laugh. She has a sense of humour. Regardless, he's learning how to love and that's a great thing.❤

[@beaubreau]

The vast majority of people I know that are non binary didn't choose that path because of 'labels'. The best way I could describe the situation is someone that is trans (not comfortable with their sex or assigned gender based on their sex) but also not at all comfortable with transitioning and identifying as the opposite sex. They are stuck not feeling great about either. These are people that I know that are grown adults. I have never had someone mad at me for using incorrect pronouns. Sometimes, they don't even correct me and I wish they would as I want to get it right. My 37 years on this earth 1 thing is for sure... brains are wild things. They can cause you to feel 0 empathy, they can make you see things that aren't there, they can make your body move or say things unintentionally, they can cause you to feel perpetual sorrow, and even make you think you are an unlimited amount of different types of people. We have so many variations of people yet we are so obsessed with this. Why do we care so much about this? People have so many opinions on people they have never met and have only seen some dramatized version of them. They, like everyone else are individuals. Some people being crappy while others not. Some being overly emotional (I can't handle all that) while others not. Gender is a social construct like everything else in life. Just as a reminder I am speaking specifically about gender (not sex). This video covers the benefits of non binary in conversation but then completely ignores the overwhelming negative side of it that outweighs anything positive. It is not yet really socially accepted to proclaim you are non-binary. I can not fully understand it because I am not them. I look at the value these people bring to my life and the world and I measure them by that. I could care less about what a person wants me to call them. Same way I feel about religious people. I can not and will never understand how a grown adult can still support religion, but I do not have to be a rude person to someone just because they believe what they believe and I don't understand it. To each their own. Hopefully, eventually more people will come around.

[@wolfenstein256]

holy based

[@ASAMB12]

I think people only see these labels as problematic because the labels trans and non-binary are getting hijacked by a lot of attention seekers and that they've become somewhat of a trend on social media (which is highly problematic, especially for teenagers). I feel like this video essay is not about the kind of non-binary people that you are talking about i.e. people who actually find it difficult to identify with either one of the two genders because they may be trans or intersex, but rather about the people who identify as non-binary because they reject all labels. I think that these are two very distinct groups. To me it's sad to see what is happening; raising awareness for trans and intersex people is so important but this important public discourse gets completely distorted by the absolute insanity which is social media. It's kinda similar to what happened to the body positivity movement which started out as a good thing until it was warped into this toxic idea of health at every size.

[@a-ramenartist9734]

@@ASAMB12 Understandable, but that kind of nuanced distinction is only really able to be made by people who know what they're talking about. I agree this video essay could have some merit, but the fact that the essayist didn't explicitly spell that out means that a lot of people watching this will come away with a false understanding, and simply see it as reasons to discredit all nonbinary identities. Sometimes I absolutely despise social media.

[@lovelymill]

the non-binary thing became modern religion now for many, and i, too, don't support religions. if you are no more identifying as a non-binary, they will curse you as if you betrayed their entire family, because their identity is formed as the opposite or even hatred of everything "cis" and "basic" and "boring". seems a bit cultich, duh?

[@zbob90]

The thing is, this phenomenon has happened before many times in history of people not wanting to accept responsibility given to us by our biology and it has always ended badly for the society and the individual. You think you are being a good friend to these people by using their preferred pronouns and what not but you are only enabling their self destructive behavior. Obviously, I am not saying that we should be forcing people to be normal. However, we should be warning them about where the road ends and encourage them to live a more fulfilling life.

[@thomasloney612]

Non-binary is an easy way to differentiate yourself from the pack without requiring learning unique skills, acquiring knowledge, developing interests, or putting any actual work into an identity that will make you unique.

[@BloodyBay]

That's a rock-solid way to put it. Well said! It's uniqueness for lazy people! Instead of being "the only person in your high school class to cook for the President" or "the only person in your town to summit Mount Terror in Antarctica" or "the first black woman in Nowhere, Alabama to become an Air Force Chief Master Sergeant," just go around saying, "I'm non-binary." Presto! What could be simpler? 😒

[@2okaycola]

Yep

[@ExeErdna]

That's 100% true. It's basically "apathy the identity" anybody can drop a they/them or a neopronoun and feint importance. Yet really they're glass, easily shattered with a bit of pressure at the right spot. Other groups had a deep pride about keeping up their gimmick. What can a non-binary really do? Nothing since they're a suffix to real personality

[@souvikmitra6161]

Anyone who puts emphasis on something like gender or sexuality (something inherent and basic) as the main point of their existence are just...lazy. We're all much more than just the basic identity of ourselves. Even the good looking models don't just get paid for only being good looking, they need to maintain a lot of things. But these days the laziness is what's being perpetuated in the name of diversity and other nonsense.

[@jnammur]

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

[@SharkSalesman90]

its fun how the whole comment section has decided to say negative things about nb people based on one shitty person making excuses for their terrible choices because of their 'search for identity.' the character is weird, but the problem is not in their choice to be non-binary, its their idea of what being non-binary means.

[@bobtheball5384]

Truth

[@Farktoid]

This current trend is similar to bulimia or anorexia, but far more permanent which concerns me. Young women are desperate to be special while still fitting in with the Current Thing and it's frankly disgusting how some groups are cashing in on the trend instead of actually trying to help these young women who were led astray.

[@Hartley_Hare]

Yay, capitalism.

[@AspieMemoires]

Yep just follow the money with stuff like this. That’s when the facade falls.

[@bobsmith5185]

I don’t have sympathy for people above the age of 5 who get sucked into this nonsense. If someone is that stupid, narcissistic, desperate for attention and/or power, etc., they deserve no sympathy.

[@DeadlyPlatypus]

​@@Hartley_HareThis whole thing is a Marxist and Engelian project to destroy the nuclear family and typical sexual relationships to usher in the Communist Utopia. Try again.

[@SaviorCross]

💯

[@irotinmyskin]

The more I hear about this trend, the more it sounds like a desperate way of finding meaning, of feeling unique, of thinking you are more than what you are (simply human) by inventing ways of aggrandizing yourself, and by doing this you are closing and narrowing down the notion of what a man and a woman can be.

[@tamara3161]

Spot on

[@zonumanaid]

Have you considered talking to actual non-binary people and hearing their experiences and not make a whole essay based on the stereotypes portrayed by a TV character? Would you consider any female or male character in this series an accurate representation of a man or a woman and not a charicature?

[@DarnzAchks]

GOD thank you so much, that's exactly what they're doing. thank you.

[@blackmichael75]

It's a myth that sharing housework is a recent thing. I have seen old vox pops from the 1920's where men were asked whether they should share the housework and many of them thought that they should.

[@chillyman7340]

As young person who grew up in the early 2000's I really have no idea how in the hell we got to this point.

[@bradyryan5105]

Same.

[@SM-ok3sz]

Toxic tolerance.

[@maxncheese8548]

We’ve always been around and we will continue shining our identities in your face

[@bradyryan5105]

@@educationalthoughts6152 not really

[@bradyryan5105]

@@maxncheese8548 which identity ?

[@livingsocks]

Let me do my best to shine some light on this topic without being unnecessarily unkind. "Why do people want to identify as nonbinary?" - it just feels right. It fits. It feels like the truth. "Being nonbinary is against crystallisation of identity" - not necessarily. I am crystallised as... Nonbinary. I go to bed nonbinary. I wake up nonbinary. It's been the same for me for years. "Is it a good thing to be in this place of ambiguity?" - people don't ask if being a man or woman is a "good thing" before they identify as one. They just be that. Likewise, I don't really care if it's a "good thing". I don't really have a choice, I'm just being the thing. "We should not trade one extreme for another" - You might feel like how other people identify has a big impact on you or wider society but it actually has virtually zero effect. There have always been nonbinary people. "The ability to demand attention" - I literally do not want any attention. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm nonbinary. (If you think this comment proves otherwise, then how is anyone going to criticise this video?) "The ability to avoid responsibility" - sex on the city isn't real life. It's one flawed representation of one person. Meet more nonbinary people. We have boring jobs, spouses, kids, parents, mortgages, as much as anyone else. "A novel willingness to discover oneself" - as beautiful as that sounds, I am not discovering myself, I'm nonbinary and I have been for years. I suggest interacting with some nonbinary adults who aren't television characters. Check out some reviews of the nonbinary representation in Sex In The City by sympathetic or queer news sources and you'll see a few people don't feel this was good representation. As stated in the clips you included, this character was more like a dad joke about being nonbinary.

[@pingxingming]

Yeah thanks for confirming my hunch. I thought the example of Che was a bit of a low hanging fruit or a strawman, rather although there were glimpses of self-awareness that leave me confused as to what the creators were thinking. I do think that a flawed representation is still the way to go, that's how characters become compelling. However, there is irony in you commenting and identifying as something resisting identification to a certain point (!). Your perspective is very much appreciated though, and it should come as no surprise that nonbinary people are just like everyone else. It's pretty unforgiveable that this requires spelling out but here we are.

[@DarnzAchks]

Thank you. just...thank you. all of this. keep spreading the truth, it's what we need.

[@milton7763]

They did give quite an accurate portrayal of ‘non-binary’ people in this series: even got the unfunny stand-up to a t

[@DaniHGirl]

😂

[@elephant_888]

🤣🤦🏽‍♂️🤣… it was pretty rancid tbh. Most of her jokes were put downs and insults, like a bully… but it’s okay because she was non-binary. 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheStepmonkey]

LOL true 😂

[@erikbihari3625]

@@elephant_888. Isn't it true?

[@Ray03595]

exactly. Self-obsessed to the nth degree summarizes these kind of people. Every sentence Che utters is about herself and her identity. Me, me, me, me, me. This is the result of the most individualistic culture on the planet however. So can't blame them completely.

[@ChrisCarlos64]

The scenario with the daughter worries me most, because the schools are clearly trying to separate the parents from her with the way they talk to them. The parents have all rights and manners to their child's development and these officials were just demeaning and negative to the parents. Gross!

Right, like did they think that scene HELPED their agenda?

[@ggchiu7400]

Hi! I'm a cis woman who has dated/is into NB/genderfluid people and I'd just like to give my 2 cents on the topic: I appreciate the eloquence of the video, its very well made

[@birdfox3274]

You almost brought tears to my eyes, oh to see this nice comment in a sea of hateful ones ! and you explained your points with facts, and politely btw, and not with stupid emotions as i did. I nearly regret getting so upset about this video ahah. anyway i'm just answering this so your comment can grow, maybe, and balance with all the stupid ones i saw ^^'

[@eshaleemadgavkar]

Thank you for your well-explained and informative comment. I don’t know what happened to Baggage Claim nowadays. When I first watched her, then it was mostly her videos on Meghan Markle and the Royal family that I found really interesting but now she seems to have gone full-on conservative or so idk, because I haven’t seen her latest content. I’m still yet to see this video, wondering if I should watch it or not, but criticising an entire community just because of one fictional character is really a misinformed job. She should’ve done an analysis on the character themself but not compare it to the real world experience! There can be many non-binary people who are not good people, but that doesn’t mean that there are many people from the same community who are amazing people, and it applies to all kinds of communities. A bad person is a bad person no matter what. Most of the comment section here scares me though.

[@peacockcrowe2718]

Non binary isn't real, it's just men and women that want to be special without actually making efforts to gain any skills

[@zytheabsolutenerd75]

@@peacockcrowe2718 its really not that hard to search up non binary in a dictionary, i advise you do so

[@noonesishome]

My word. Ever more reasons to avoid assocating oneself with "non-binary", sounds so draining, insufferable and narcissistic.

[@vanguard7553]

With respect to point #2, if any "Cis" person used the excuse of "discovering themselves" for their cruelty and selfishness, they would correctly be called out for narcissistic gaslighting

[@Shrimp_Insurance]

"Cis" is a made up word, just say normal

[@eleccy]

I mean you heard it from the kid "I don't believe it and I don't want to participate" - In the show itself. Turnabout is fair play, what's to stop the parents from saying and acting exactly the same way to a self declared nb gender?

[@smooth_pursuit]

Well in some places they’ll have their kids taken away, so there’s that

[@eleccy]

@@smooth_pursuitI agree, and that's what the problem is. Institutional buy in to rubbish ideas.

[@DSKekaha]

And if someone could kindly explain to their stupid daughter that a pronoun is not a label. She said she doesn't want ANY labels, which demonstrates a clearly underdeveloped sense of self which needs time and experience to mature. A 12 year old talking about "labels" is dystopian.

[@Tunda2]

Sara’s character in Grey’s used her bisexuality to cheat in any relationship she was in. Callie (the character) would enter a serious relationship with either a man or a woman, get to the point of moving in, then start an affair with someone of the opposite gender and defend it by just saying “but I’m bi!” It became a cycle. It was like the character would do anything to avoid any responsibility to anyone else once she realizes it might become permanent

[@SaviorCross]

Douglas Murray, who is gay, said it best when he spoke of the suspicion surrounding Bi people, "Bi now, Gay later."

[@Crawlingdreams418]

Mate, let's not devolve into invalidating bi people. This show was just a shitty example. Unfaithful people exist everywhere. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to date every single woman I see (I plan to marry a man, though, but that's a minor detail). Same with bi people.

[@johannaverplank4858]

I find it a bit disgusting that you are critiquing a marginalized community of which you are not a member. Also, Sex in the City is a TV show, and not real. It absolutely does not portray an encompassing portrayal of non-binary people. Non-binary is not just about labels or a lack therof. There have been cultures all over the world dating back thousands of years that include genders outside of the binary. Being non-binary isn’t simply about rejecting labels. It’s AN IDENTITY. I’m in my late 40’s, and hadn’t ever heard the term until a few years ago, yet I’ve always known I didn’t fit into the category “girl” or “boy” as far back as I can remember. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and putting a name to our identity helps us foster a community and support. I sincerely encourage you to educate yourself by reading scientific literature on the topic, and not from watching a silly and honestly boring television show.

[@SteamyBun]

"So people often ask me, why do you choose to continue living as *incandescently* as you do" I actually LOL'd. Ain't nobody asked them that!!!

[@poogissploogis]

I had the same thought! No one cares 😂

[@rebecca_stone]

Ikr! "You hate me because I *template* what it means to be alive." No, my friend, that's prob not why they hate you, lol.

[@Frosty1026]

Whatever the fuck that was it was projecting super hard 😂😂😂

[@PuddilyOops]

If by “incandescently” they meant “such a pain in the ass” then I bet lots of people have asked.

[@vanessak69]

Pretty sure no one is jealous either. Someone he’s friends with wrote an article on Vice (I think) a few years ago asking why he couldn’t get laid. He’s into straight men, btw.

[@user-is7xs1mr9y]

First of all, I love your content and I agree so much with this video. 1. I've never seen this show, but this "Che" character is one of the nastiest most narcissistic characters I've ever seen on a show or movie, I hate how she's clearly a disgusting person but the people around her clap like a seal and treat her as "sTuNnIng aNd bRaVe". 2.You're so right about these enby people refusing to grow up and take accountability for their actions, unfortunately these are emotionally stunted people. In other cases, these are autistic people who have been brainwashed to believe this, and this is a point that has been made by autistic content creators, not me, but it completely makes sense. 3. Most NB people are clearly looking for attention just like you pointed out, it's the new emo. It's all about themselves and their demands being met without them having to owe anyone anything. It goes both ways, but because they are in this perpetual state of being the victims, they feel entitled to special treatment, but get mad when you point it out. 4. Thankfully I've never met one of these people in person, but if I do, I'll just avoid contact because clearly dealing with these people is as pleasant as stepping on a landmine. I won't harass them or try to convince them of anything, I'll just say "have a nice day" and move on. 5.This whole NB thing is so first world problems, and I'm sure of it because here in my neighborhood in Mexico, there are gay and a handful trans people, but they are not demanding anything, they just want to live their lives in peace and their behavior proves it. It's the more affluent neighborhoods where you see the NB people and the LGBT folks being obnoxious.

[@itskitty808]

You're so lucky. I had the misfortune of meeting 2 enbys, one online and one in person. They truly are nanarcissists. Many of them have this arrogant mindset where they think they are better than everyone, so they have the right to cut you out of their lives simply for disagreeing with them or doing or saying something they don't like.

[@theoaktreejourneys6246]

I work with lots of NBs and about 90% do act this way, but our company has a checklist and they have to hire certain groups for their social credits. its crazy!

[@VerisimilitudeFilms1]

You're confusing Autism with narcissism. Autistic people are not like this and that's some dangerous shit. Do your homework. Otherwise, I agree with everything else you said.

[@Србомбоница86]

​@@theoaktreejourneys6246in my country they don't exist lol

[@eddystylez]

I'm autistic and my best friend who was also autistic went all-in on the non-binary thing. It started off as depression and self-hatred of the way she looked. She was obese, had large breasts that hurt her back. She started using twitter everyday and got sucked down the rabbithole of social media influence. I tried everything I could to point out the flaws in that ideology but she just turned the other way. I stopped talking to her a few years ago because it became almost impossible to talk to her, she was so sensitive to damn near everything, was always angry, always had to be mad at something. If I wasn't 100% on board with the social justice bandwagon I was just another enemy to her. It was very sad. I miss the real her before she was brainwashed.

[@DeadParrot-yj8fn]

It’s hard to change. Maybe dig a little deeper before making a whole video on non binary people based on one tv show character.

[@jimmalone4851]

"Queerness is this, queerness is beautiful" maybe people don't like being referred to as queer? What, you're weird because of your sexuality? I love how these people contradict their own bullshit. They hate labels but won't just be happy with gay or bisexual, they have to be special.

[@PuddilyOops]

Queer is defined, by queer theory author Judith Butler, as an identity without an essence. It means that your whole life revolves around being an activist and spreading awareness about queerness. It’s complete hokum but young people have bought into it.

[@derek.....]

I was a male trapped in a woman’s body until my mother gave birth to me!

[@Gobble_de_Goop]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 You win the internet today.

[@ВладимирКруглов-к9о]

Glad to escaped to a life of freedom!

[@aceyspud551]

Thanks for teaching me that infuriating crisis of a show exists, about someone who pisses EVERYONE off but who “owns” it because they are whatever their intrusive whims are. Fucking around isn’t the same thing as growing as a person.

[@Sergeant_Fury]

"...because it is whatever its intrusive whims are." There, fixed it.

[@spaghetto9836]

BC, I get you were well-meaning with this, but idk if you expected to properly describe a group you're not part of. This is so full of misunderstanding. And that misunderstanding is leading to a comment section full of ignorance & transphobia, due to a badly-written fictional character you used as an example that doesn't represent the whole. So ik this comment will drown in the sea, but let me clear things up: • "Non-binary", like "trans", is an adjective, not a noun. You learn this not consciously, but by interacting with the topic enough. It's a small sign that someone doesn't know their stuff when they say "The problem with non-binary/transgender is..." without good grammar. • People don't WANT to be non-binary, they just are. It's not a deliberate decision. Growing up, you don't *want* to be straight or gay or bi, you just realize you *are,* through the same processes. • *Not all NBs use "they/them", nor do they all dress androgenously.* This is a very basic blunder, so idk how much research you put into this vid. They can be fine with their birth sex's pronoun, use two different ones (one of which is more convenient), etc. Just as a man is a man no matter what he wears, someone under the NB umbrella will remain that way no matter what they're wearing- bc of psychological identity, not sex characteristics. Now, clothes that feel "wrong" can make you uncomfy in your identity (e.g. a man feeling emasculated in a dress), but there are people who are confident in who they are & don't mind regardless. That also counts for NB people. • I see folks here using "lifestyle" rhetoric, and yeah, you can have whatever lifestyle outside of your gender. For example, saying there's a "bi lifestyle" is nothing more than the stereotype that all bisexuals are promiscuous. Actually, claiming non-binary folks are devoid of identity implies your gender makes up your whole identity, which kinda proves NB people's point. They still have many definable facets to them. • "Non-binary" doesn't just mean "I can't tell what you are". It's anything that isn't A or B. You can be statically genderless, or move from any one point to another, or constantly feel like a mix. These aren't chemical emotions, like being angry or fearful, or bodily functions like feeling hungry. They're more innate. • Finally, it is not an attempt to "never grow up". We're not fricking Peter Pan 💀. Kids become acutely aware of gender norms, behaviours, etc. as early as 6, so them being able to be whatever they want rarely applies to that. There might be some obnoxious ppl who act like they're immune to criticism bc of their minority status, but that's a loud minority within. This might've just been your worst video, but I'll still watch you.

[@jamesthegoo7600]

Bro got a degree in yaponomitcs

[@spaghetto9836]

@@jamesthegoo7600 You mean "yaponomics"? Thanks for showing people don't actually care about learning, just judging.

[@jamesthegoo7600]

@@spaghetto9836 womp womp

[@birdfox3274]

THANKS

[@PrivateIvan]

I get the feeling that rather than working hard (and personally) on a skill or goal to make a person shine, this "non-binary" labelling is SO much easier to adopt, with a guidebook laid out for folks (via shows like Sex City part 2). Why learn how to paint or how to rock-climb when there's any easier, more attention-getting (albeit abrasive) way to make everyone notice you and bow down to your demands?

[@tamara3161]

Exactly that. Its easier to put on a label than to do the real work. The real physical and inner work required to be a well rounded person

[@DSKekaha]

Imperfect analogy. Most people do not take up painting or rock climbing to "make everyone notice [them]". Non-binarianism is a cry for attention, nothing more nothing less. A constant, never-ending cry for attention and validation. And attention.

[@erintheresa2430]

It's only part of the story is because Cynthia Nixon is part of the LGBT community and id the same this to her ex-husband in real life as she did to Steve on the show.

[@maggiem6209]

The crystalization thing is so interesting. I had that moment of literally, "Oh shit. I'm not anything I want. I'm _one_ thing." It felt like the bottom fell out of my life. After a little bit of thinking on it, I realized, "No. I'm one thing. Which means that I can be the _best ONE thing_ I can be, in all the ways that entails." That's when I knew I wasn't a child anymore.

[@theoaktreejourneys6246]

that's fantastic! :) YES! Being the best one thing you can be is a wonderful realization!

[@piotrchrzanowski7454]

It's weird how the person interviewed by Jamie Lee Curtis starts by saying that people ask, "why are you dressing like that etc. when you know you're gonna be confronted on streets or whatever" and this person's answers ends up in answering the different question, i.e. "that is why you hate me". I don't get it.

[@STOOPIDDUMBY]

They answer the question by building a strawman and then attacking it. It's bizarre to watch.

[@deadsam8433]

I think it's worth talking directly to non-binary people about their experience. Part of this video debates whether it is better to remain uncertain and able to explore potential vs. being certain and able to build around that certainty. The core issue for non-binary people is that they cannot comfortably conform to the identity of "woman" or "man". It took me a while to understand that this is different from the usual issue of cis men and women struggling with gender conformity - "am I feminine enough, am I masculine enough?" You can have that struggle and still at core think that "she" or "he" fits you, so it makes sense to build on that certainty. Non-binary people on the other hand might feel that "he" and "she" don't relate to them at all, so there's no certainty to build on. My point is that just because some people don't find that the binary fits, doesn't mean that all people have to be in a state of flux. The fact that someone is non-binary doesn't require anyone else to change their identity. So I'd suggest that it makes sense to be live-and-let-live, a la "Some people are gay, get over it". Che is a specific case where there's a lot more going on than just non-binary identity. They're a minor celebrity, and celebrity brings with it issues of lack of privacy, and neglect of the people close to you in favour of your audience. They might use fluidity and radical acceptance of who they are as an excuse for hurting people, while another person might use their commitment to their art as an excuse. I think it's a mischaracterisation to suggest that people would be non-binary because they can attract more attention that way, or so that they can avoid responsibility because they can't be held to any norms of behaviour. There are non-binary people like that, but there are people of every variety who are like that. If you shone a spotlight on anyone you'd see the ways that they dodge responsibility or play up for attention. Especially on social media - e.g. clips of Karens, nice-guys and entitled parents.

[@wheatbread1606]

I don't understand how he, she or they "fits" a person outside of looks and what we've known for years. My pronouns are she/her because I'm a girl, it's been used my whole life and it's just English. If someone were to use he/him pronouns on me, it wouldn't really matter. It wouldn't change who I am, it would just be how I was called. It's like a name. If someone used the wrong name on me, it would confuse me and others since it's not the name I use but it wouldn't change the goal of the person calling or trying to get my attention. I would know it's wrong only because it's not what I'm used to. So I don't understand why pronouns matter. They're just words. I don't know how a person could feel like a she/her, he/him or they/them. In the case of trans people, I understand changing pronouns to whatever gender you transitioned to because based on your outer appearance, you would fit one group. But even if a transwoman was called by he/him pronouns, it wouldn't change who they are. But even in that case, I don't understand transitioning since why can't you be a man who looks like a woman? Why do men and women need to have different looks? I hope this makes sense but I'm just confused. If you looked neither like a boy nor a girl, most likely people would use they/them pronouns but even if they did, it wouldn't change anything except what you're called by. I know this is a lot but I'd appreciate it if you could answer some things.

[@deligeorgieva8535]

@@wheatbread1606 agree with you, that's exactly what my thoughts have been the past weeks. what makes a woman a woman? her looks and her pronouns? her role? how do you feel like a woman if you're not one and you don't know how it feels?

[@wheatbread1606]

@@deligeorgieva8535 Yeah it’s really hard for me to understand. I want people to be happy and living their best life but I also want to know why I believe in something.

[@deligeorgieva8535]

@@wheatbread1606 exactly.

[@TheWackiestDemon]

@@wheatbread1606 I can explain trans people some what, as a trans man myself. I have gender dysphoria which makes it so I want to be male, and not being recognized as male by myself or others makes me feel deep emotional pain or I become depressed. But I am a female actually. It is the gender dysphoria that effects the way I feel, for me it has more to do with the parts that I have than anything else. There are social factors that effect me too, but I do not want to be "a woman that looks like a man". Because being a woman means having low testosterone, low libido, being typically physically weaker, having a curvy body, having a light voice, having breasts, having two holes and no phallus, and being typically smaller. The physical qualities typical of a woman are what disturb me when I move in the world in this body, and all the social stuff that comes with it is just the cherry on top to my dysphoria. This is my personal experience of why I am transitioning, but some trans people might differ in experience, to which I don't always agree with.

[@BigBossBernie]

As I am neither NB nor do I know anyone identifying as "I decide not to identify", I'm going on a limb here - if people want to reject norms and role models, that's fine. Nobody needs a woman, who has to constantly come to terms with herself not having a p*nis to turn out to be a bad mother (or vice-versa for potential dads). But there are some basic rules in society you cannot virtue-signal yourself out of, such as > you need money to live, you earn money by working (except if you're begging online) so maybe don't make life for your colleagues or boss harder than it has to be, lest you find yourself without work > freedom of speech and self expression belongs to everybody equally, so better not call too loud for censorship of other people, that might come back to bite you > people we do not allow to vote, drink alcohol or carry a gun might also not have the necessary mental capacity to change their gender > having your feefees hurt is not a justification for anything except sitting in a corner and cry - you do not get the exclusive right to annoy or hurt other people, let alone demand them to accept your behaviour Just my two cents...

[@timl1481]

Hows this for a concept, be yourself for sure, but don't expect everyone else to fall in line with your view of yourself. After all, they are individuals as well!!

[@odytrice]

I feel like as a society we are going through the old video on KZbin titled "Don't hug me I'm scared". Where it presents as an innocent children's cartoon and a character keeps egging everyone to get more and more creative. It starts cute and then become progressively dark until It's essentially a twisted horror movie and then in the end the same character goes "Ok, let's all agree to never be creative again". I think that's the perfect allegory for what is currently going on in society.

[@cz1754]

Ahh I love Don't Hug Me I'm Scared! Such a great series

[@madmo1692]

So Sex and the City has now transformed into a show about the breakdown of human relations and family. Kim Cattrall was smart not to continue this stupid series

[@harlemw651]

🎯🎯

[@rodb66]

I know, right. They just ruined the late 90s and early 2000s legacy. I'm glad that I didn't start watch the reboot.

[@XxSyl]

I reject labels by being a woman and still act/dress/do what I want. Saying you're non binary because you like having short hair and playing sports is saying that woman can't have short hair and like sports. Accept your sex and be yourself, you can do both...

[@altruisticflower9627]

You voluntarily use the label “woman” for yourself (and no, being based on biology doesn’t mean it isn’t a label). Some people do not want to use a label like that. They are not trying to take your label away, or to say that a woman can’t do certain things.

[@Mel-wn9gb]

​​@@altruisticflower9627Nice try, but that's exactly what you're doing. The term 'woman' describes a female human being. According to your ideology the term 'woman' describes the sex stereotypes, roles and expectations typically imposed onto women, ie. 'gender is a social construct'. The supposed 'nonbinary identity' is based on the idea that most women - and men - conform to or 'identify' with - those sex stereotypes, roles and expectations. That's what makes us allegedly 'binary'. That assumption is not only flawed and demonstrably false, it's also sexist. It's literal sex stereotyping.

[@isthataspider7410]

Yall are so obsessed with us. Instead of accepting that some people are different, you find something to complain about. So sad, you can't just let us exist, you have to spread hatred.

[@zytheabsolutenerd75]

fr, ive seen so many people complain about nonbinary people throwing tantrums & getting upset over nothing when ive seen more people outside the community do that exact thing

[@Lark572]

Social media has made a whole generation feel invisible and this is their way of trying to stand out. Period.

[@funkymonks8333]

real

[@namastewellness]

It’s not just one generation. It’s multigenerational with people who want to live in Never Never lamd.

[@Lark572]

@@namastewellness The generation who grew up with social media seem to be most severely affected

[@katherinekier]

Very good point

[@Hypestrike1]

Or it's a generation that can't distinguish social media from real life.

[@TheMetallicSharpie]

Bro what? Just let people be themselves. If someone is non binary so what? If you don't get it, that's fine - just respect people, use their preferred pronouns, and move on. Cis people spend WAY too much time worrying about shit that wouldn't effect them if they chose not to let it, and then turn around and call trans people sensitive, it's crazy

[@TheFreekje]

literally! I'm surprised this even showed up in my recommended bc I am definitely not the right audience for this cishet ppl talk

[@masondickerson9466]

Yeah, this video just kinda came out of nowhere for me too. Grossed me out.

[@Fitzftw7]

Generally speaking, I accept being non-binary as a form of gender dysphoria, but I don’t think kids should be arbitrarily changing their identity without consulting a therapist, and people like Che are truly problematic. They feel like an insult to people truly struggling with the disorder and trying to cope with it in a healthy way. Good video, as always.

[@maybelater6282]

Finally a reasonable comment

[@Fitzftw7]

@@maybelater6282 Thank you.

[@Betweentheraindrops8]

The kid: I don’t want to be labeled anything. Boy, girl, non-binary, a New Yorker. I’m only 13. The genius of that is she labeled herself 13.

[@sparxstreak02]

And then said “Can’t I just be me?” You just said you don’t want to be ANYTHING you listed, so what ARE you? 🤨

[@thepaigeparker]

Those things are more than labels. This is all a continuation of the new age woo-woo of “indigo children” . Kids don’t have some special knowledge about life, in fact they can be very stupid.

[@enchanted_wildflower_]

​@@sparxstreak02I mean the whole point is that you don't know yet who you are at that age, so I think it makes sense to reject labels

[@sparxstreak02]

@@enchanted_wildflower_ but to say you want to be yourself means you’re still made up of traits that you define yourself as (even if that changes over time) so to reject EVERY label that gives some semblance of identity, means you can’t be anything - including whatever ‘yourself’ is 🤦‍♀️

[@enchanted_wildflower_]

@@sparxstreak02 it's a 12 year old, I don't think we should overanalyse it

[@TheFreekje]

In the end, you obviously aren't non binary. So talking on the topic seems a bit weird since you do not know how non binary people feel. It's like a cis man talking about periods

[@chumgamer7331]

If a man is well informed (like a gynecologist), then yes, he can talk about periods. This Is not the case, but anyone can talk about what they want. For this reason there are flat earth society video

[@chumgamer7331]

There are a lot of online video made by non binary, and a lot of them complain or cry for being misgendered (if someone see a person that look like a woman will call them She, no matter how many rainbow pins they have)