The Pros and Cons of Being an Only Child

My friend Amanda and I have been only children for 23 years, here's what we have to say about it!
Please subscribe for more videos from me every Monday.

[@_ambivalentamber_8032]

I’m watching a ton of only child videos to see if I want to give my son a sibling or not. So far I’m thinking of letting him be an only child, he has a ton of cousins his age. He’ll make plenty of friends at school, learn to be independent and be happy with just his company . I think he’ll have a better quality of life that way. His father and I can most definitely afford put him through college because it’s just him.

[@dergluckliche4973]

As an only child I can tell you that you shouldn't assume your son will be lonely without siblings, if that is part of your inner debate, especially if he's more than a few years older than a possible sibling. I had school friends, met kids playing in recreational sports, etc. but at the same time enjoyed my alone time and was able to have as much of that as I wanted. I'm 42 and turned out fine. I couldn't then and can't now think of a downside to being an only child.

[@valerieduguay4852]

@@dergluckliche4973 debating this also about having one child...thanks for thr insight, can i ask how you feel about the classic comment "i dont want my child to be alone caring for us when we're old" type of logic to have a siblings?

[@dergluckliche4973]

@@valerieduguay4852 I'm of the mind that parents should not be relying on their children to provide more than sporadic care in old age and should absolutely not have that expectation as even the tiniest part of their reasoning to have kids. There are myriad reasons grown children may not be in the picture when their parents need the kind of care people often think of. Speaking from my own experience, and for context I'm an American living in Europe, my parents are a ten hour flight away. Additionally, they also retired to a part of the US I not only have little reason to visit when I travel to the states, but one which I despise. There is nothing I can do for them care-wise. Luckily they planned accordingly, as EVERYONE should: old age should not come as a surprise and we all have a literal lifetime to prepare for it, especially as we live longer. The main point here is kids _and_ parents don't always live in close proximity to each other. People move all the time. Also, the kind of care people often think of is hugely time consuming and physically and mentally demanding. Do the grown children not have responsibilities of their own? Are these grown children trained nurses and gereontologists? When parents are in their 80s and 90s their kids are often in their 60s and 70s, thus not in the kind of physical condition to be hauling around 140+ pounds of brittle-boned dead weight. Sure parents changed their babies diapers and whatnot but they were baby-sized diapers on baby-sized bodies and parents were in their prime. Add in some really ugly complication like dementia and it should give parents some pause about burdening their kids with that degree of care. PLAN AHEAD and save for/invest in top-flight insurance. Take care of your health. Be smart and downsize to a manageable home. Foster relationships with lots of people and remain engaged with the world. Not only am I an only child, I'm also child-free. I watched my grandparents deteriorate with minimal planning for living as long they did and the stress it imposed on my family. Thus my parents have done all they can to ensure they don't become a burden to me. I have also been planning and preparing for my old age pretty much since I started working having witnessed what happens when one doesn't. I don't expect to age alone but I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to care for me who isn't a trained, paid professional whose sole responsibility is to render care to the elderly. I know it's unpopular to consider elderly family members' care a burden but having seen the exhaustion, expense, and resentment it breeds even when spread among various family members with whom one may or may not have a rosy relationship, the reality is it's just that. *Don't have a bunch of kids just so you "have staff."* It frequently doesn't turn out the way you hope it will.

[@_H_A_R_S_H_I_T_]

You need to step up as being ur child’s best friend in case u decide on not have a second one!

[@dergluckliche4973]

@pratyush panigrahi Yes

[@candyivonnie]

Now I don’t feel as bad my daughter is an only child and will remain one! Thanks for sharing ladies, ps. love the friendship 🥰

[@beamanlangit6869]

I'm an only child and I treat my cousins and friends as my siblings. ❤️❤️❤️.. This video is so accurate!

[@renealexander2703]

Bea Manlangit, just treat your friend like a friend and treat your cousin like a cousin. Some siblings treat each other like trash.

[@renealexander2703]

@Arrow Boy , cousins are family. Siblings don't always get along. So treating them like siblings might not be a good thing. How about you just treat your cousins like cousins/family. And your cousins loves you because you are her family/cousins. Some siblings treat each other like crap. And some people treat their cousins or friends better.

[@damodharank730]

Literally me

[@wonderberries]

You girls have such a beautiful friendship. I hope you never lose that! I grew up with two older brothers who were 8 and 6 years older then me. Now we are all grown and live in different parts of the country. We're not very close and never really were. In many ways I often felt like an only child and still do. Because of the age gap I had to entertain myself a lot and have learned how to be alone. I also have been left with the task of taking care of my mom. In my personal opinion and experience I think siblings are highly overrated. My husband has 8 siblings and there's hardly ever a time when one isn't fighting with the other or someone isn't talking to the other. It's a constant shit show. I can understand wanting a sibling, cause when I was 6 I begged my parents for a sister but I was assured it wasn't going to happen. As i grew older I was kinda glad I didn't because we probably wouldn't have been close anyway. I do wish you girls all the best and hope you have the families you always wanted someday.

[@ordinaryboba3201]

I am very happy as a only child. Most parents want more kids. My parents only wanted me. The reason is they did not want to share their love and they wanted to help me as much as possible. They wanted me to be able to not feel like I am lonely too so I used to ask for siblings, but they would get me a friend over. I do now worry about getting siblings. My parents are very careful to insure this. So far, I am never getting siblings. I am very grateful my parents only wanna raise me. ALSO I GET MY PC AND IPAD, AND IPHONE TO MY SELF

[@AlanaGurl]

Proud only child here. I love this video!

[@SKimilku]

This was very helpful to watch. Thank you both so much!

[@taylorhrysko9246]

You mentioned being lonely as an only child but as someone that grew up with a brother.. we never hung out as kids lol. Like rarely, if we had to.

[@juanvera4122]

The pandemic had NOTHING on me. All my friends going crazy cause they didn’t know what to do with themselves and I’m like no problem. I know how to be alone for loooonnggg periods of time and actually prefer it. I go nuts when I’m around people for long periods of time. I need my “me” time.

[@isu7683]

I am pretty happy with being an only child but the only thing I hate about it are vacations or holidays, because I always have to go around with my parents and if I don't have friends in that area/country it's sometimes really annoying because my parents are different than friends who I can take photos with, can go to photo booths etc. and with a sibling, you could take pictures together, talk while traveling and just have way more fun because you're not alone. But actually it's only bad if you think about it too much and the more I think about the disadvantages, the more come to my mind so maybe I should just focus on the benefits of being an only child :)

[@raemunroe]

As a parent of an only child, but a person with three siblings, the part about vacations makes total sense. Although there were many vacations with my family that went terribly wrong because we fought the whole time. As my only kid gets older, we plan to let him bring a friend or cousin with him on weekends away or special trips.

[@fusion4373]

**Parents showing up at everything** Me: **Has only mom, best friends family is pretty much like a 2nd family, lives in a house with 10 other people (ALL COUSINS UNCLES AND GRANDPARENTS) and everybody is busy,** Also me: Ok true

[@msalamanca05]

Thanks for sharing this video! My wife and I may only be able to have one child, so watching this made me smile as I hope our only is as awesome as you two seem!

[@princess287love]

Michael Salamanca I hope you all consider adoption... please don’t just have one child. If you can adopt, please do. I’m an only child and it’s awful! When you get old, you expect your one child to carry that burden? Please reconsider

[@dergluckliche4973]

@@princess287love Children are not a retirement plan. Sorry you're miserable as an only child. Only child myself and it was fine.

[@awsomemodels]

@@dergluckliche4973 I understand both of you 2 it's awful and fine at the same time .

[@marla13joy]

You two are the cutest! I would love you to make another video in 10 years, and then in 10 years after that, because I think that as only children, our outlook & perspective on what the pros and cons are, changes over time. I, too, enjoyed being an only child when I was younger but now that I'm in my 50's, I would love to have a sister to have shared the same upbringing as me. Being an only child means there is nobody else to corroborate your experiences-and though both my parents are alive, when they do die-I will have nobody to take a trip down memory lane with. Nobody to look at family photos with and go "oh, do you remember that trip to Vegas/Geneva/London, etc? So, in that respect, I do think that being an only child can be so isolating. I agree with all of your pros and cons but thought I'd throw into the mix how it feels the older I get.

[@dergluckliche4973]

Only child here. Pros: everything. Cons: nothing.

[@jessestam]

I have siblings, but my parents always needed to know where we were, who we were with, and their parents names and phone numbers. If that helps.

[@nepotism333]

I have an older sister (my mom's child) but grew up as an only child... i'll tell you when she moved to my house... we didn't get along because I loved being alone in my bedroom, and she wanted to Go outside and whatever... I HATED HER... She's gone back to her home now, never been happier.

[@tylerporterphotos]

Since preschool? That’s dope

[@annettedonnelly5359]

I think its great that u guys r friends since preschool 👌also Im one of 6 n I love my own company..

[@isabelleparise5607]

I was raised with animals and took good care of them. I still have them in my life. I am unique no matter the life I have I am unrepetable 🙂

[@akadouggie]

I grew up with siblings and my parents were the same as your con #1. Overbearing/I felt like I was under their thumb. That’s not just an only child problem!

[@sabrinaveras9358]

Y’all are soo gorg ❤️✨! I really enjoyed this video🙌

[@dareways3747]

Being an only child can be lonely Friends: am I a joke to you?

[@leannelesley3654]

yes very im experiencing ths nw

[@yogimax5206]

Well I don't have any friends so yeah I'm lonely

[@dominiquewindom5820]

You just really have to think for yourself a lot or you are screwed.

[@Twinflame_4]

I wasn’t an only child, I had one disabled sibling. I personally didn’t like having no siblings or cousins to talk to or relate to growing up

[@jewelsbyk]

I have a sibling but really wish I was an only child. We don’t get along.

[@tasha5308]

I am an only child , very independent , very strong values in family annnnnnd I have 16 nieces and nephews….so….

[@alijafar4380]

When you are the only child of your parents you kinda have the advantages

[@jeffmcbobberson8228]

I'm an only child but I spend a lot of time with my cousins so I guess it's alright

[@shanawesthoff9622]

I am an only child and all my friends who are like my sisters are only children.

[@kellyperry7956]

I am an only child myself and growing up is easy all you have to do is do the basics and Bam you're an adult no dramatic stuff Plus it's just better the only downside though is company because whenever your parents don't want to play with you who the heck are you going to play with yourself most kids think that's boring so no another Pro is you don't even have to worry about being a middle child because they literally get nothing oh and for Christmas they get nothing so yeah thanks for reading this

[@thereIsaidit123]

Thanks for sharing. I have 4 sibblings. We are all best friends. My mom got covid and together we were able to come up with a plan to save her life. I could not have done it alone. I only had one child and feel guilty everyday for only having one. (It was sad to see her alone for 2 years during the pandemic). I hope she finds great friends like you two.

[@brandyhoward6136]

I am an only child and grandchild. I don't want a bunch of kids. I would like to marry into a big family and I would like my husband to be the oldest.

[@jennabates3056]

you two should have a web show together and vlog together more often

[@juliep1122]

My only sister and her husband moved across the country and we barely see them and we barely talk, so I guess now it’s like I’m an only child. But I did play with her a lot as a kid so at least I have did experience having a sister

[@aidenalamo6262]

I won't feel bad for my child if he or she is an only child. The Pros: the best thing about being an only child is that we as parents, can afford to take care of our child with the rising costs of life. We can also give them a lot of healthy love and attention. We can provide them a very good education and a future to inherit. No siblings to fend off with in life and when we as parents are deceased. They will have a healthy respect for friendships and individual autonomy at the same time. The Cons: reverse everything that I just typed and it is nice to stretch it to two children for time and attention by the parents. Also, the chance of spoilage as a youth that generates a spoiled adult. We won't do that, my partner and I have discussed that.

[@parikshitagawane4224]

Being only child is like a gamble if you get a good friend is okey otherwise its really sick

[@hibs9752]

No friends lots and lots of fake friends tho

[@renealexander2703]

Having a sibling is like a gamble if you get a good sibling is okay otherwise it's really sick. Also, if you are an only child you can have good friends, good parents, good cousins, good aunts/uncles, good grandparents, a good spouse, good children etc. There is more to life than siblings or friends.

[@em9zz]

When you go on holiday and forced to make friends with the foreign child in the corner of the pool 😔✌️

[@jeberycheeseington6221]

My sister automatically makes friends with random people and I get dragged into it 😔

[@fusion4373]

wait but you can still be an aunt or uncle cus if u have cousins...

[@minkey3728]

I’m and only child without cousins 😓

[@saulcruz4986]

I have lots of brothers and sisters, but for some reason a lot of only child individuals gravitate towards me. Learned to understand them

[@QUEENEVE29]

I'm an only child...it was pretty good but I lost my mom right after I got married ..then I lost my dad. I don't have any one to share the pain of losing them ...

[@jeberycheeseington6221]

I can and can't relate to the hand me down one. My younger sister is the same hight as me so I don't need to hand anything down but I still get a bunch of hand me downs from my mum's cousins kids ( there's about 20 of them) and my friends.

[@priyankabanerjee4702]

Me and my bestfriend are also single girl child

[@A.777-p8m]

All I can say is you both are so dang happy, probably because you don't have siblings, fooooor rrreeaaallll. 🤕🥴😖😩

[@PercydeRoloFangirl]

The worst thing is I was gonna have a sibling but my mom had a miscarriage so bye bye sibling

[@handellmorancie7923]

Like the term pros &cons fully active 💯 Queens 🐝 stay blessed 😉👌💖

[@chrissyg2338]

I got 3 sisters and my mom does that too need to know everything about where we going and what we doing

[@QUEENEVE29]

None of my friends are only child..I learned how to be by myself...I had 3 kids

[@fewd3]

When I was a kid, it was pretty lonely, even though I had older siblings. I was literally the only teen in my entire family. I had no kids that could relate to me, because I have to filter myself for their parents comfort and I have adults that will not let me relate to them. I always sat by myself, didn't really care about socializing with my relatives.

[@WowDaniX]

Great 👍🏽 video I too am an only child.

[@con2mms2000]

For me, a hard thing to swallow is the fact that girls I date don't understand I like been alone. I love walking alone sometimes. I love go to the mall alone. I love to workout alone, etc... But they lose their minds and the drama is huge. I just lose interest in them and discard theme eventually.

[@TLCTLC-cg6cm]

Sharing is normal. You need to learn it.

[@kstayblessed]

Did you ever get picked on being the only child?

[@Galaxy_019]

I'm a only child and I stay home slot but sometime I go to family house to Hangout. 👌😏😁

[@deveshi7]

Loved it🤩

[@stoicart7675]

Wants kids * You are young give it time before commiting to such a monumental decision.

[@eternalfire580]

I know what it's like to have those Pros without actually being an only child. 😁😁

[@dbuc4671]

As far as I know I have 2 cousins who live on the other side of the world and we don’t even speak the same language lol.

[@Herculean_Life]

I am only child and Amanda I like you .

[@UrbaNSpiel]

Lonely

[@ayowhatsgood564]

im a only child

[@TLCTLC-cg6cm]

It's miserable

[@nehajaiswal2413]

wow, can you buy me sibling its really funny

[@Dogsallday14]

Omg stop laughing and talk! I was thinking about fostering to help the adopted great niece I have. No help here

[@henrickwhite9786]

Only children are the worst