The Psychology of Excuses [How People Justify Hurting Others]

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Sprouts

Sprouts

Күн бұрын

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@sprouts
@sprouts 6 ай бұрын
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@LadybugsOpin
@LadybugsOpin 8 ай бұрын
I think this should be taught to the TEACHERS who typically stand by and watch the bullying happen.
@Emile-philia
@Emile-philia 8 ай бұрын
When I was ~10 I literally had a teacher hold my arms behind my back as he was urging another kid to punch me in the gut. All positions of authority need continual scrutiny.
@BLACK80085
@BLACK80085 8 ай бұрын
Literally a one "teacher" watched as i was being pushed by 15 year olds under the truck to kill me when i was 8 on a trip, it was a she and as you can imagine she blamed and punished me for it and i havent met any "teacher" which "cared" and remember "school" doesnt educate but test so society can determine what to do with you as human resource so just a thing and testers as what they really are dont deserve any good pay for their work in this despair filled greed based world ever.
@praevasc4299
@praevasc4299 8 ай бұрын
Even worse is that when the victim of bullying finally punches back, then the teachers intervene and hand out punishment, which they never did for the bully.
@lordfreerealestate8302
@lordfreerealestate8302 8 ай бұрын
Some of the teachers even engage in bullying their students or encourage others. I've also heard MANY stories of guidance counselors who did that, too. They are grown adults responsible for protecting their students. Even less of an excuse than a kid.
@olgakuranova7986
@olgakuranova7986 8 ай бұрын
It's not like they have any real power to stop this. Not since corporal punishment became illegal in schools.
@stephenthompson3309
@stephenthompson3309 9 ай бұрын
It's much easier to recognize wrong when it's done to us than when we do it to others.
@stephenthompson3309
@stephenthompson3309 9 ай бұрын
The wild thing is: some of these justifications may be factually correct. If someone shoves you and you shove back, you can safely use "attribution of blame" on why you chose to shove someone who you otherwise wouldn't shove. Doing something to someone which they dislike in the moment, like shouting at them to keep exercising, can have a valid "moral justification" if you're trying to help them lose weight and get healthier. Or if you're trying to teach a rebellious child not to play in the road. The Gospel truth is, all of us are sinful, and deserve only God's wrath. Any pain inflicted on us by others is a tiny fraction of what we deserve. Knowing this, the only true way to stop the cycle of pain is to NOT give others what they deserve. Forgive them. Do good to them when they don't deserve it. Understand that the final balancing of all scales of justice will be handled by the Perfect and Almighty God. It is our duty to love one another.
@toyotaprius79
@toyotaprius79 8 ай бұрын
Genocide much?
@stephenthompson3309
@stephenthompson3309 8 ай бұрын
@@toyotaprius79 Uhhhh... No, actually.
@hsjwvs
@hsjwvs 8 ай бұрын
Need one to experience to learn sympathy
@alex.g7317
@alex.g7317 8 ай бұрын
@@stephenthompson3309I actually agree with this. I wonder how one can tell when the exception to use an ‘excuse’ is justified.
@samstromberg5593
@samstromberg5593 9 ай бұрын
I think this SHOULD be taught in schools I do not think it would stop bullies
@Lumberjack_king
@Lumberjack_king 8 ай бұрын
Yeah they would continue doing it because there are no consequences
@PaulKondu
@PaulKondu 8 ай бұрын
my thoughts too
@toddfraser3353
@toddfraser3353 8 ай бұрын
But in disciplining the bullies for their behaviors, having learn and often relearn their justification is invalid and immoral, would help some to stop.
@TheVoiceOfReason93
@TheVoiceOfReason93 8 ай бұрын
I have an idea: using any of such justifications should in itself be a reason for immediate sanction. That would desist people from using any of them.
@samstromberg5593
@samstromberg5593 8 ай бұрын
@@TheVoiceOfReason93 ...Doesn't sanction mean approve?
@MultiKarmacharger
@MultiKarmacharger 9 ай бұрын
Sadly, a lot of people are hypocrites about shit like this.
@tiagodecastro2929
@tiagodecastro2929 9 ай бұрын
My first thought scrolling through this comments section is that there's an awful lot of people saying they've seen this behavior in others, but nobody admitting they've seen it in themselves
@UncreativePF
@UncreativePF 8 ай бұрын
​@@tiagodecastro2929This^
@Scarshadow666
@Scarshadow666 8 ай бұрын
@WillyFisher412 We should also address these issues, like the Bystander Effect, at their sources, like if it's because of fears of backlash (people that don't step in during abuse/bullying situations sometimes fear getting dealt the same thing, or they have their own issues that compromise their ability to step in - and another problem is that the whole strength-in-numbers thing doesn't always help if getting people to stand against an abuser/bully is like herding cats). Another thing that could help with getting rid of these issues/the Bystander Effect is when societies/cultures change their ways, and recognize when they're normalizing some forms of abuse/bullying - as well as have people recognize when they're victim-blaming other people instead of uplifting them/actually being helpful (like when some people justify someone else's abuse/bullying because of the clothes they where/belief system they have/the kind of personality type they have).
@DeathnoteBB
@DeathnoteBB 8 ай бұрын
@@tiagodecastro2929I mean to be fair with that title and thumbnail, people who will accept the possibility of evil within them but actively try not to do evil would be the ones who click on this.
@tvoovm7254
@tvoovm7254 8 ай бұрын
​@@tiagodecastro2929, exactly. However, that depends on who the bully to begin with was. I did bullying when I was a kid, but in my high school years I have been teased and disrespected so many times despite my succession in most of my classes. Of course people bully because they want to justify their actions toward the innocent through the sad reality of their miserable lives.
@goodwife6284
@goodwife6284 8 ай бұрын
Man, Dehumanization is such a huge problem (And used as an Excuse for most of the bullying i've seen take place)
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
...and then everybody clapped?
@goodwife6284
@goodwife6284 8 ай бұрын
@@Sonilotos No, just commenting on the one of the reasons people justify bullying?
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
@@goodwife6284 you edited your comment. I don't mind it, though; it's better this way.
@stevenswitzer5154
@stevenswitzer5154 8 ай бұрын
Exactly why I am against referring to other people as NPCs
@doggoadexx2680
@doggoadexx2680 8 ай бұрын
@@stevenswitzer5154 oh my God, I didn’t even realize how much that is actually is dehumanizing. And I use it a lot .
@El_Silveiro
@El_Silveiro 8 ай бұрын
The teacher actually doing something for the victim and not punishing her is something just unreal and unbelievable
@BLACK80085
@BLACK80085 8 ай бұрын
Its not real since a teacher doesnt want to do anything with it and looks for themselves and its not their problem and its easier to let things be as they are and when a victim does something blame and punish them because theyre doing a fuss about it and giving a teacher problem. I havent met any "teacher" that "care" and this profession doesnt deserve any respect and pay since its not about education but testing so a society can determine what to do with you as "human resource" so just a thing. Those are strangers anyways. I speeded through writing it and missed some words because you need to be the fastest with everything in this despair filled dysfuntoctional greed based world right from the birth to your death.
@hebercluff1665
@hebercluff1665 8 ай бұрын
I have had plenty of teachers like that. It's probably because I went to a tiny school where the teachers all knew the families of the students. Students bullying each other starts to feel a lot more personal at that point. This is exactly why I think that smaller communities are more healthy for the mind. Our brains aren't designed to empathize with thousands of people - maybe 1 or 2 hundred at most.
@Mr0rris0
@Mr0rris0 7 ай бұрын
​@@hebercluff1665smaller school here too Nah. Everyone was allowed to scapegoat like 4 people Fat kid stinky kid tiny kid and new kid. It was all worked out and there was no room. Judges kid was gonna judge Sheriff's kid was gonna sheriff Court clerk was gonna clerk. School was just a coliseum where they toughened up the legacies and prospects at the expense of the inferiors. What they did was straight up sun tzu slice the princess in half and make an example for everyone about how to lie cheat exaggerate steal manipulate distort and conspire. The teachers were the parents of the legacies and it was all going to go their way from cradle to grave. Why do you think Mike pence looks so squeaky clean....
@Mr0rris0
@Mr0rris0 7 ай бұрын
​​@@hebercluff1665I guess some places are like little incubators. This town had a statistically improbable number of twins... Maybe there's a twin magazine and it was featured as a top town for twins... Or it's some messed up cult cia darpa Eli Lilly academia overlap thing
@Mr0rris0
@Mr0rris0 7 ай бұрын
Whys all the twin magazines ripped in half God damnit
@deedeewinfrey3181
@deedeewinfrey3181 9 ай бұрын
My Dad taught me that if we don't stop the bully, then we are just as guilty as they are. Kids kill themselves daily over bullying.
@Minorskillissue
@Minorskillissue 9 ай бұрын
When I was bullied, sometimes I used to end up crying. Usually the reason I got bullied was for the crying... When I tell the teachers, they blame it on my crying, same when they ask the students on why, they blame it on my crying. It's not like I could have just stopped crying especially back then. Now I easily can, but not back then. So basically the bullies, probably used one of these 8 mentioned methods unknowingly to pin the blame on me, and it actually worked. Probably the eighth one.
@AllanHinde-mb2pr
@AllanHinde-mb2pr 9 ай бұрын
Don’t be weak 🤷🏻‍♂️
@theBear89451
@theBear89451 9 ай бұрын
Bullying, like other morals, is subjective. I've found the parents of the school bully are the ones constantly calling the principal in an intimidating manner complaining about their kids being bullied.
@Hartley_Hare
@Hartley_Hare 9 ай бұрын
Is not voting an instance of moral dissociation? Asking for a friend.
@SheonEver
@SheonEver 9 ай бұрын
That's true... However, 'stopping bullying' and 'fighting hate' have become the go-to justifications TO bully people, so one has to be very careful in who they're labeling a bully.
@shriyapalsule4790
@shriyapalsule4790 8 ай бұрын
Poor girl has so many bullies. Give that girl a hug
@DaydreamingArtist322
@DaydreamingArtist322 8 ай бұрын
Is that unusual for victims of bullying? How many bullies is the average victim targeted by? When I was a kid, at least half of the student body regularly mistreated me (I realize that sounds like hyperbole, but it’s true). One of my classmates said she used to spread rumors about me because “that’s what everyone does.” I should clarify: this isn’t meant to downplay Sarah’s experience. Anyone who suffers from bullying-regardless of the number of tormentors-needs emotional support. But I’m genuinely curious how many bullies the average victim is targeted by. If 8 is an unusually large number, how rare is it to be targeted by dozens of students each day?
@Kreshura-tm5rb
@Kreshura-tm5rb 8 ай бұрын
​@@DaydreamingArtist322 I feel bad for you, well, for me, I never suffered bullying, and I don't think I'll ever meet a bully, and even if I meet so, I'm not afraid to tell other people about it
@shriyapalsule4790
@shriyapalsule4790 8 ай бұрын
@@DaydreamingArtist322 I feel sorry for you man. I hope you have a better life cuz having bullies, 1 or 100 doesn't matter. The fact that you had to go through it is horrible enough. I feel sorry for you bro
@stevenswitzer5154
@stevenswitzer5154 8 ай бұрын
Give her a book, and then teacher her where to hit them with it. I was ALWAYS the smallest boy in class, and bullies only ever tried me once. By middle school and the great mixing of elementary schools there was always 1 or 2 BIG boys that would look at a kid and say "you dont want to mess with him"
@Itsdasummer32
@Itsdasummer32 8 ай бұрын
Fr
@theinnerlight8016
@theinnerlight8016 8 ай бұрын
No teacher in my entire life has ever reacted this professionally. Not one. They all just look away, since doing nothing saves them time, hassle and changes nothing about their pay.
@schwarzerritter5724
@schwarzerritter5724 8 ай бұрын
The worst children usually have the worst parents. Most teachers don't want to deal with them .
@Zavitor
@Zavitor 8 ай бұрын
Guess it says a lot about how little it pays to be a teacher these days. Both literal and figuratively.
@donnahopper9799
@donnahopper9799 7 ай бұрын
High School Educator here. I always tried my best to stop bullying. The admins always backed me.
@goldendiamon
@goldendiamon 7 ай бұрын
I also read in my gut,that what if some of them are also victims of bullying in childhood,and their inner child never got healed,so some of them who are unhealed, continued the cycle of trauma by being a bully to their fellow workmates and students,or felt anxiety that when they saw a student get bullied,it reminded them of their unhealed past self and is afraid that they did nothing even if they wanna do something cuz authorities will fire them if they do just like how their past selves dropped out for fighting back against their past bullies
@goldendiamon
@goldendiamon 7 ай бұрын
@@donnahopper9799 I also read in my gut,that what if some of the teachers are also victims of bullying in childhood,and their inner child never got healed,so some of them who are unhealed, continued the cycle of trauma by being a bully to their fellow workmates and students,or felt anxiety that when they saw a student get bullied,it reminded them of their unhealed past self and is afraid that they did nothing even if they wanna do something cuz authorities will fire them if they do just like how their past selves dropped out for fighting back against their past bullies
@StephonZeno
@StephonZeno 8 ай бұрын
Props to the artists for making the bullies look like the most miserable, douchey, apathetic, assholes in the world. Sad thing is, while I'm sure these kids know what they're doing is wrong, but just don't want to admit it, some people actually believe the bullshit that comes out of their mouths when it comes to justifying their horrible actions. Some of these justifications are border line sociopathic.
@AK-jt7kh
@AK-jt7kh 6 ай бұрын
I think you forgot what it feels like to be young. I was in the “bullied” category in grade school & mostly ignored in 9th grade - so I’m not speaking in defense of myself - but these behaviors are all very much human nature. The bigger issue is throwing a bunch of undomesticated young humans in a room together & expecting civility without adequate adult supervision. Of course you’re going to get barbaric behavior. They’re still learning the perspectives necessary for empathy & the social nuances required for civility. You can’t expect kids to shoulder the responsibilities adults themselves can’t seem to learn. Not having adequate socialization & experience doesn’t make one sociopathic.
@MagnanimousmouseYouGoogle-d1k
@MagnanimousmouseYouGoogle-d1k 6 ай бұрын
Sounds like you're bullying those kids
@prschuster
@prschuster 9 ай бұрын
I need to rewatch this video. I've seen all these excuses many times.
@vaclav222
@vaclav222 9 ай бұрын
I dont need to rewatch the video i see it everyday in real life
@randygivens8421
@randygivens8421 9 ай бұрын
Yes, we hear these excuses mostly given by politicians justifying school killings and hate crimes. This needed to be taught in schools and colleges.
@pluto9000
@pluto9000 9 ай бұрын
It's short and to the point.
@paulinebell4873
@paulinebell4873 7 ай бұрын
disturbingly, from a "Most Moral Army" who are fighting "human animals"
@prschuster
@prschuster 7 ай бұрын
@@paulinebell4873 Excellent example
@coolepic519
@coolepic519 8 ай бұрын
Yes, this should be taught in schools. I feel like something like this doesnt give bullies a reason to stop but gives non bullies a reason not to start and identify bullying
@BrokenDreamMaker
@BrokenDreamMaker 7 ай бұрын
I think it better applies for people who practice non-bullying
@antonymossop3135
@antonymossop3135 7 ай бұрын
@@BrokenDreamMaker Like so many things, it's a spectrum. Most of us are part victim and part perpetrator, in varying proportions, in this bit of life - and often the clichéd but truthful statement "hurt people, hurt people" means that separating the two identities dissociates human experience. Informing people of the general patterns that play out, allows them to see a bit more clearly what they're doing and who they are. There are folks who know they have a bullying tendency, but are thoughtful enough that they try and manage it.
@BrokenDreamMaker
@BrokenDreamMaker 7 ай бұрын
@@antonymossop3135 in small words, the bully doesn’t stay a bully
@antonymossop3135
@antonymossop3135 7 ай бұрын
@@BrokenDreamMaker Some do, some don't. But education can help folks make more informed choices.
@mrslasher1064
@mrslasher1064 7 ай бұрын
Stop pretending like you care
@momo7gato
@momo7gato 7 ай бұрын
"...moral disengagement can lead to an increase in violence and a reduction in empathy." That's a pretty good summation of what is occurring in many nations across the world.
@tahwsisiht
@tahwsisiht 7 ай бұрын
☑️
@amelioravictoriadionyssia3323
@amelioravictoriadionyssia3323 7 ай бұрын
It's because they're being taught that moral disengagement is equal to ethical engagement. They see the sacrifice of others as justified because their Machiavellian mindset is geared for survival and self-concern
@kevinforget549
@kevinforget549 7 ай бұрын
One of the issues however is that we assume the same sense of morality is universal across all cultures when it clearly varies.
@Ali-cya
@Ali-cya 6 ай бұрын
@@kevinforget549 The sense of morality varies, but the morality itself doesn't as victims will feel the same way regardless of the culture that lead to their situation.
@yujibell
@yujibell 7 ай бұрын
Some people are bully magnets. Their parents may have been terrible, which instilled in them inadequacy, social avoidance and self blame. Self centered and opportunitic people can sense that and use it for their benefit. For most, it's easier to join the herd rather than stand against it. In my years of bullying, only one boy ever spoke up against everyone. I still remember it to this day
@TheDragonSeer
@TheDragonSeer 7 ай бұрын
Absolutely. Growing up, I was constantly bullied by my peers as well as my family (including my parents). Bullies can sense this "weakness" like sharks sense blood in the water.
@chey7691
@chey7691 7 ай бұрын
Being any sort of neurodivergent sadly seems to attract unwanted attention and/or complete ostracization. And everything in this video is something you will deal with for the rest of your life (if you don't go early from stress, isolation, not getting basic needs met because life is on hard mode already. Not to mention unsubscribed from life is a major one...) It feels like some people are just f***ed from the start. Because you WILL be messed up from living in a world actively hostile to you in pretty much every aspect. No respect for bullying someone who has to work harder than you to get the same things. The bullies see your struggles as weakness and act less than the animals they frame you as.
@llyn5759
@llyn5759 7 ай бұрын
I don't think all bully magnets feel inadequate or had poor parenting, a lot of us were (are) on the spectrum and for some reason people tend to project their own insecurities onto neurodivergent people and assume we feel inferior...that alleged lack of confidence is what attracts bullies. And just any deviation from the herd attracts bullies too. They spot the differences and point them out to the group, either explicitly or implicitly, signalling to the others that they agree said person is weird, therefore they themselves cannot be and thus securing their spot in the herd. It's way more about them and their own social insecurities than it is about the target. I'm in my 40's now but I was bullied in elementary and middle school for being ..."different". I had self-worth and self-esteem though, I stood up for myself every day, either with words or fists. At one point I learned how to truly ignore it, and new bullies would see that as me being passive and therefore an easy target. At some point though I decided to make my weirdness work for me, and fought back with awkwardness and humor. One time some kid made fun of me, so I just stared directly at him for the entire bus ride home, which was about 30 minutes. I'll never forget his face 🤣 he never messed with me ever again ahaha.
@MetokurAssistant
@MetokurAssistant 7 ай бұрын
They're often bully magnets because their first bullies were their parents. Who you have as a parent determines 80% of your life outcomes. The first 7 years are so important in development and shapes you for decades. Most kids don't unlearn it until they hit their lates 20s or early 30s and by then, a good chunk of their choices set their course.
@resourcedragon
@resourcedragon 7 ай бұрын
@@llyn5759: "At one point I learned how to truly ignore it, and new bullies would see that as me being passive and therefore an easy target." When I was a kid the victims of bullying were often told to "just ignore them and they'll get bored and stop." As your experience proves, no they don't. "Just ignore them" is one of the worst pieces of advice out there.
@cheyennec5546
@cheyennec5546 8 ай бұрын
Folks in the comments talking about “teaching this in schools” & teachers responsibility, meanwhile *as we speak* grown adults in their 30’s & 40’s are at work causally bullying others with not even Higher Management doing anything about it. ☹️
@astrongfront5311
@astrongfront5311 8 ай бұрын
Preach!
@theresemalmberg955
@theresemalmberg955 7 ай бұрын
Seen it myself multiple times before I retired. Management is well aware of these types of folks yet they will not do anything about them even when they start losing good employees as a result. And it's not like these people are the greatest workers--far from it.
@jeffputman3504
@jeffputman3504 7 ай бұрын
This kind of bullying is exactly how those people got into higher management!
@kawaibakaneko
@kawaibakaneko 7 ай бұрын
That's why it's important to teach the next generation of workers
@mist3995
@mist3995 7 ай бұрын
Maybe because they didn't learn this in school?
@warrenbradford2597
@warrenbradford2597 8 ай бұрын
The narcissists in my life weaponizes all these types of excuses to get away with their bad behavior. I need be on the lookout when interacting with other toxic people in the future.
@hasanmuttaqin464
@hasanmuttaqin464 8 ай бұрын
Sometimes, if there's so many people you'd call narcissist in your life, maybe they're not actually the nsrcissist, it's you, and you're justifying your action by saying it's their fault, when it all lies within you (this strategy of manipulation is called victim blaming)
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
​@@hasanmuttaqin464well said. Not claiming that OC isn't actually dealing with narcissists, but that's also a probability thqt should be kept in mind.
@sor3999
@sor3999 8 ай бұрын
Can we stop using "narcissist" for meaning abuser? It's not what the term is for.
@warrenbradford2597
@warrenbradford2597 8 ай бұрын
@@hasanmuttaqin464 Correct! A bad therapist has used it me, thinking I could be overreacting to my narcissistic mother's abuses.
@warrenbradford2597
@warrenbradford2597 8 ай бұрын
@@sor3999 No, because, as Dr.Ramani said, "narcissistic personality style is not a disorder." I understand not every abuser is a narcissist and vice versa. However, we need to explain why our abusers will not stop abusing us, even if they promise us to.
@edsiles4297
@edsiles4297 9 ай бұрын
"ThE wOrLd iS a HarSh pLaCe yOu nEeD tO tOuGhEn uP" stupidest bullshit anybody ever said to justify abuse
@sprouts
@sprouts 9 ай бұрын
Exactly!
@normanclatcher
@normanclatcher 8 ай бұрын
"Grow a pair." Me: _...sounds to me like you want me to develop a _*_known vulnerability_*_ that you can kick-in later, but... ... ...yeah, alright. Seems reasonable._
@coolepic519
@coolepic519 8 ай бұрын
Literally "Cry about it" but longer lmao
@shilasarkar6003
@shilasarkar6003 8 ай бұрын
It is the commonest excuse used by Indian college bullies
@cezar6411
@cezar6411 8 ай бұрын
By that logic, attempted murder is not punishable because its not murder
@MONARCH_FLIES
@MONARCH_FLIES 9 ай бұрын
You can tell I used to be bullied because the moment Sara came on the screen i was all "SARA!!!! MY SWEET PRECIOUS BABY!!!!! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU!!!! ILL GIVE YOU A HUG RIGHT NOW"
@toukiasmr3125
@toukiasmr3125 9 ай бұрын
They should show this in schools
@arandomzoomer4837
@arandomzoomer4837 8 ай бұрын
It's funny I can think of both times where I have been bullied and done the bullying without thinking about it as bullying. Acknowledging my own capacity for evil has been the best thing I've ever done for myself, but I know that even that line of thinking can still be dangerous if I don't further acknowledge that that can also lead to me thinking of myself as a "self aware person" and by grace of seeing myself as self-aware, being more likely to delude myself. It's so crazy how emotion can warp one's own perspective
@DeathnoteBB
@DeathnoteBB 8 ай бұрын
For me I overthink myself into paralysis. I think of all the possible ways I could accidentally hurt people, and end up doing nothing
@mila5796
@mila5796 4 ай бұрын
I've been in your shoes. I used to confront bullies and stand up to them for others that were too scared to do so by mirroring their ways of treating their victims(thankfully it was an all girls school and it was usually verbal bullying with physical bullying being limited to head poking or hair pulling) against my mom's warning to stop "playing hero" which nearly got me expelled twice for going against the "norm"(interfering instead of ignoring or accepting it like everyone else did). I didn't really thought that it was bullying back then when I gave them a taste of their own medicine after the initial nice warning to stop failed to register in their mind especially after hearing that the new principal told my mom that I could continue what I did without any fear of expulsion. It was after graduation and looking back at my school life did I realized that I was no different from them even if it was just when I come across an active bullying session(never targeted anyone specifically or went after them if they weren't doing it).
@Tharmorteos
@Tharmorteos 9 ай бұрын
asking whether we are guilty of such behavior is an interesting question, as we most likely don't realize we're doing it. i'm sure everyone has "made up excuses" to make our misbehavior look less severe. so when it comes to the question "have you used moral disengagement to justify bad behavior?" i would personally change the question a bit. i would ask "did you use moral disengagement to continue your bad behavior, or to move the attention from you away to later reflect on it?" because i can imagine that some people use moral disengagement to "feel good" about their bad actions while others might use it to "not look bad" in front of others while realizing that their behavior was unacceptable.
@turkeyman100
@turkeyman100 9 ай бұрын
I always like to keep this saying in mind: we judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.
@cheddarchemist5644
@cheddarchemist5644 8 ай бұрын
​@@turkeyman100this is really smart ngl I'm gonna remember this
@hasanmuttaqin464
@hasanmuttaqin464 8 ай бұрын
I like to keep saying in mind: if i can do it without any justification is when i'm actually in the right
@sor3999
@sor3999 8 ай бұрын
Pfft don't say everyone. You're projecting there. I don't even bully anyone in the place. I don't even make excuses for pirating old video games.
@Tharmorteos
@Tharmorteos 8 ай бұрын
@@sor3999 if you've never ever justified your actions in your entire life, even as a kid, i don't believe you. i don't bully anyone either, but this is not just about bullying. the bullying is just an example scenario to present the idea of "justification of bad / wrong behaviour"
@fiorellify1212
@fiorellify1212 9 ай бұрын
The way I will just send this video to people who are not worth talking to rationally
@sprouts
@sprouts 9 ай бұрын
Good one!
@elainstill1671
@elainstill1671 8 ай бұрын
Agree! On top of it but they will not understand.
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
Why try to communicate with those you claim to "not be able to"?
@Hyderagean
@Hyderagean 8 ай бұрын
​​@@Sonilotos No point, they just play the victim. Every excuse is an attempt to take the victim role, and even if you do get an apology, it doesn't actually mean anything if you had to force them to admit that it was wrong with reasoning and logic versus them coming to terms with it on their own. If anything, it just hurts their ego and puts a bigger target on your back, because now they have to face the fact that you "won" that round of their game through logic and reasoning and didn't give in to the emotional outbursts they imagined you would. And that just makes them more determined to try again with more dog whistling tactics, especially if they ended up getting emotional because they didn't win/started spreading rumors before actually engaging with you to get "proof." The best approach is just to call them on being vile and mock how stupid their tactics are to their face and then not engage further than that. It pisses them off royally, and the sooner you do this, the sooner they will leave, and the less they'll have on you to make their half-truths sound believable. I mean, what should anyone be worried about, anyway? Hurting the feelings of somebody who is okay with slowly killing you just for kicks? Fuck them by wounding their pathetic egos and move on into your own form of happiness knowing that they'll never be satisfied and you broke free of the narcissist's abusive creation cycle.
@spaideman7850
@spaideman7850 7 ай бұрын
wait till u meet with a narcissist who has all these 8 'virtues' and more.
@GaryNac
@GaryNac 8 ай бұрын
Alot of this also overlaps with gaslighting.
@dallassegno
@dallassegno 7 ай бұрын
Gaslighting is specifically telling someone something did or did not happen with malicious intent.
@spaideman7850
@spaideman7850 7 ай бұрын
gaslighting is used to make the victim doubt themselves.
@jessIe76468
@jessIe76468 7 ай бұрын
Yes! Key difference is the intent. gaslighting is “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one's own advantage.” meanwhile euphemistic labeling for example or moral justification is misleading as to avoid a punishment. Basically one wants to play with you and your feelings as to have power over you (mostly the reason why gaslighting is associated to narcissisists who use this tactic) and the other one doesn't care about power and only wants to avoid accountability. That's at least how I learned it.
@jessIe76468
@jessIe76468 7 ай бұрын
Yes! Key difference is the intent. gaslighting is “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one's own advantage.” meanwhile euphemistic labeling for example or moral justification is misleading as to avoid a punishment. Basically one wants to play with you and your feelings as to have power over you (mostly the reason why gaslighting is associated to narcissisists who use this tactic) and the other one doesn't care about power and only wants to avoid accountability. That's at least how I learned it.
@Jabberwokee
@Jabberwokee 7 ай бұрын
Gaslighting is a form of social manipulation and has nothing to do with what’s being discussed here This video is about how Bullies justify their own behavior, and has literally nothing to do with the methods they use to perpetrate the bullying
@ultimatehusky5481
@ultimatehusky5481 8 ай бұрын
Ahhhh.... attribution of blame. Once had a teacher blame my friend for being bullied because she was too weird - she was autistic and fat. Hated that teacher.
@tiffanypersaud3518
@tiffanypersaud3518 7 ай бұрын
😢❤
@karishadkit27
@karishadkit27 6 ай бұрын
The f*ck is wrong with that teacher it's making my blood boil😡🤬🤬
@shonfiru
@shonfiru 9 ай бұрын
Littering a very small amount of waste product such as plastic candy wrapper is an example of moral disengagement as well. People will never know the impact of that kind of behavior to the world, for instance a flash floods happens because of blocked drainage caused by plastic waste products and garbage.
@dicksonfranssen
@dicksonfranssen 8 ай бұрын
Sounds like a small thing but it matters. Our car is a mess because all manner of litter ends up on the floor and not out the window. Sadly I smoke and have burned a few holes in pockets because I don't flick butts out the window. We live in a flood plain but built with huge retention ponds and wildlife. The crap floating in those ponds is disgusting.
@hinaguiza8810
@hinaguiza8810 8 ай бұрын
This is a great insight actually! Small things such that pile up into bigger problems. I didn't think that way. Eye opener.
@DamienMuto
@DamienMuto 7 ай бұрын
I agree the original poster made a very good point. It's true with everything in life. Skip the workout just for today. Then tomorrow it's just a two-day bad run. Before you know it it's been years. I don't want to call a resolution but this actually resonates with my goal for 2024. To actually achieve the big goals, by knocking out and doing those small correct things. Let's small correct things build up.
@Sidera17
@Sidera17 7 ай бұрын
Wow, I'm a disabled woman and I'm watching how many of these were used against me for asking for medical help. I'd also like to add a new one that I've seen rise in the last decade or so coming out of the mental health system. I call it "Weaponization of Self Care.". It takes the concept of boundaries and "making sure you take care of yourself first" in a mental health setting and applies it to the extreme as to why people will not intervene anymore to stop the bully. "I was doing right by myself, I was taking care of myself, I would have abandoned myself if I stepped in." This was originally intended to help abuse survivors and people pleasers learn to set boundaries, but now it is being used to justify abandonment and callousness/lack of compassion towards other people.
@catherineblair550
@catherineblair550 7 ай бұрын
hey that's progress. it used to be people didn't even bother to try to justify not stepping in. it's just the that bullied person isn't worth defending and the incident isn't worth a second thought
@teacherALdiscussions
@teacherALdiscussions 8 ай бұрын
Ofcourse... That's what bullies say... Most bullies are narcissistic... They find pleasure in making a person feel bad.
@doggoadexx2680
@doggoadexx2680 8 ай бұрын
& what about you?
@QwertyS3
@QwertyS3 8 ай бұрын
​@@doggoadexx2680 Punishing someone for a crime doesn't make you a criminal. The same goes for bullies but not on the same level
@Popularloner86
@Popularloner86 7 ай бұрын
They are sadistic. And when I was a kid there were teachers at school who would literally join in on the bullying and found it funny and amusing and they would target certain kids it's sickening.
@JonyRotten
@JonyRotten 9 ай бұрын
Wow this one hit home. I've always reacted with strong emotion labeled "passion." But I sought out the bullies, put myself in front of them to provoke them and felt justified in being violent upon them when they tried to bully me, but if they walked away quietly, because my warped sense of moral justification I had to let them. My mother used to say: "You can't fight everyone else's battles." But it wasn't out of strength it was out of fear and justification. I still wrestle with this need to hurt those that hurt others. At times the only things that stopped me were professional or legal repercussion.
@malachitestorm
@malachitestorm 8 ай бұрын
I feel you.
@lucasbastosrodrigues140
@lucasbastosrodrigues140 8 ай бұрын
Is much fun to beat bullys so is boring when the bully lost the guts to bully you... But okay, i did have good friends that was very strong and good to fight sooo having bullys to beat was not a need. The bully give up so easily i can't even have fun enough T_T gimme gimme a excuse to me beat you up pleeeassse?? can you do that foor me? so sad, Bully are weak pussy, they have no guts, i understand you.
@lucasbastosrodrigues140
@lucasbastosrodrigues140 8 ай бұрын
@lucasbastosrodrigues140 Is much fun to "battle" the bad guys so is boring when the bully lost the guts to bully you... But okay, i did have good friends that was very strong and good to fight sooo having bullys to beat was not a need. The bully give up so easily i can't even have fun enough T_T gimme gimme a excuse to me "have some fun" could you pleeeassse do that foor me? so sad, they never did that. Bully are w@@$k p@@$ym they have no guts, i understand you.
@lucasbastosrodrigues140
@lucasbastosrodrigues140 8 ай бұрын
i don't know if i was able to comments, the youtube keep erasing my comments -_-
@JonyRotten
@JonyRotten 8 ай бұрын
@@lucasbastosrodrigues140 Happens to me all the time. I often get suspended for calling maga filth, maga filth and I think it it affects comments
@superhyrulean
@superhyrulean 8 ай бұрын
It's actually more than 8. All of those a bully can counter. There are also those who are "Honestly Evil". They admit what they are doing is wrong and don't care about the punishment.
@Madagaslad04
@Madagaslad04 7 ай бұрын
I cried watching this video. The examples used in the video perfectly aligned with what my parents have said to me throughout my life. It made me realize my parents were bullies.
@laurentrobitaille2204
@laurentrobitaille2204 8 ай бұрын
Unrealistic, the teacher didn’t side with the bullies.
@kaeltkottmir
@kaeltkottmir 8 ай бұрын
Sadly the truth out there are so many teachers act like that, because of their covert narcissism
@goldendiamon
@goldendiamon 6 ай бұрын
@@laurentrobitaille2204 Well,it also happens in real life ..Knowing some bullies could be narcissistic who were talented to twist the evidence of what they did to you when no one watches them and then if they report to the teachers,they will lie,and some teachers believe them...Stop being blind about reality
@deathdrivesapontiac
@deathdrivesapontiac 8 ай бұрын
Lol I spent half of my life being bullied, this video is very accurate. If I cried or fought back I was a crybaby or a “psycho”. Anybody could do anything to me and I was the one in the wrong for the way I reacted.
@yukiyoshikawa6103
@yukiyoshikawa6103 7 ай бұрын
A Silent Voice is an animated Japanese film which perfectly captures this video and all these characters. One of the best, it helped me understand people's action and behaviour more.
@themustachioedfish5988
@themustachioedfish5988 8 ай бұрын
This should definitely be taught. Cause everyone does something wrong and then comes up with some shitty excuse for it at some point or another, myself included. Gotta teach kids a simple philosophy I try to live by: No excuses for bad behavior.
@jessicagerou4132
@jessicagerou4132 7 ай бұрын
People unalive themselves over bullying. Let's stop this for future generations. If one person isn't safe, then no one is. ❤
@LARADEKA
@LARADEKA 8 ай бұрын
From family to school to work, we live in a vicious cycle where society turns a blind eye to this situation. Moral disengagement can somehow lead to apologetics. If you can find this pattern in religious apologetics, then you'll realize it happens in your family, your school, and/or your work. Justifying your bad behavior does nothing, and karma does not miss its targets. Someone will pay for your suffering one day...
@Jeustful
@Jeustful 8 ай бұрын
This is fundamental knowledge. Everyone should be exposed to this.
@Lazy--Gamer
@Lazy--Gamer 2 ай бұрын
Sometimes the teachers can be bullies too, and they pick favourites. My sister and I were pretty much neglected if not, bullied by the students and teachers. One example was before a field trip, one of the teachers pulled my sister aside and told her "None of the other students will attend this trip if you and your brother go." So we agreed to stay behind at school and just hang out while the rest of the school enjoyed the trip. Sad thing is, we didn't know this was a cruel thing to do. We were so used to mistreatment that we didn't tell our parents until later in life and were taken aback by their shocked reactions. This wasn't the worst we experienced, but it does show that there are abusive teachers who will side with your bullies just because they think you're the bad kid for some reason.
@EcomCarl
@EcomCarl 8 ай бұрын
Recognizing these behaviors in ourselves and others is crucial for fostering empathy and reducing harm in our communities. 🌟
@resourcedragon
@resourcedragon 7 ай бұрын
You could perhaps do a companion video on some of the other excuses that people use for hurting others, like "tough love", "you have to be cruel to be kind", "this hurts me more than it hurts you", "no pain, no gain", - the "she needs to toughen up" sort of links it in.
@Janika1123
@Janika1123 8 ай бұрын
This is actually pretty useful, I feel like learning to take accountability for our own actions and decisions is hard, hard to navigate as most of us aren't taught that or not taught the way we should be, but this feels like a list of things to look out for when one is not sure.
@JenniferSinclair-o3m
@JenniferSinclair-o3m 7 ай бұрын
This needs to be taught to everyone - all adults and all children annually. This is incredibly important.
@sprites4ever482
@sprites4ever482 8 ай бұрын
I was a bullying victim for years, thank you for explaining the methods they use. This applies to everything in society. Even wars between entire nations are justified like this. The only unrealistic thing about the video is the teacher stopping the bullies and teaching them a lesson, instead of unwittingly being made their accomplice through manipulation of social systems.
@jujuoof174
@jujuoof174 8 ай бұрын
Kids should DEFINITELY learn this at school, the regular bullying psa they don’t give a damn about. Great explanation as always, thank you!
@onba7726
@onba7726 7 ай бұрын
Kids should definitely learn about it, but it wouldn't change bullies one bit. From my experience, they just don't self reflect on anything, so they will never see these things in themselves. It would help kids trying to better themselves, though.
@RushworthRob
@RushworthRob 9 ай бұрын
Do I think kids in schools would benefit from learning about this? I'm a teacher of upper primary and lower secondary. I hold regular sessions regarding bullying; this video will be making appearances in my classes within the week. Thank you very much.
@andyhurrell
@andyhurrell 9 ай бұрын
IMHO, schools (in the UK) mostly attempt to teach children lots of stuff which any particular child is not interested in and has no aptitude for, but neglect to teach really valuable (universally useful) stuff. The National Curriculum is partly to blame, but mostly it's the schools industry mindset that needs to shift. How can progress be made if experimentation is forbidden?
@Tstopmotion
@Tstopmotion 7 ай бұрын
Do you fear this video might be used to teach bullies new excuses? My experience as an adult is that after the microaggressions course we took at work, the microaggressions increased.
@RushworthRob
@RushworthRob 7 ай бұрын
@@Tstopmotion I agree, yes. Bad faith actors very often use any interaction along lines like these to sharpen their rhetoric.
@andyhurrell
@andyhurrell 7 ай бұрын
@@Tstopmotion Yes, an interesting point, but couldn't the same criticism be aimed at the internet, or indeed 'education' in general?
@Tstopmotion
@Tstopmotion 7 ай бұрын
I wonder if explanations of correct actions might help more than sharing incorrect ones. Especially if they are illustrated so beautifully like these.
@max_the_mantis5173
@max_the_mantis5173 8 ай бұрын
I said some of the nastiest things I have ever said in my life online not long ago. I told a suicidal man I hope he does it because he was homophobic and told me God didn’t make me or any lgbt people and we’re against God for existing and that all the bullying, harassment, and pain we go through is are own fault, so I mirrored the exact same sentiment back and harsher. I told myself since people literally tell me to off myself all the time for existing, why can’t I say it back if the same people say it to me and expect to get away with it? At the time I felt fully justified in my response, now after the last time I was cyber bullied again I am not sure if mirroring it back was the right response but also feel like there isn’t a right response necessarily. I told another man awful things. I told him all the most viscous things I could think of and really dug deep specifically to hurt him. Why? He was someone who disowned/ estranged his own son, and was justifying why parents who estrange/disown their kids aren’t that bad. And I am an estranged/disowned son, so I told him all the terrible things I hope someone tells my own dad on my behalf some day. I still think about these things daily. The reality is, I’m told worse and equal to what I said to them literally every week for publicly existing. The worst I said I know hurts because people said it to me first and it hurt. But I realized recently that truamatizing already traumatized people, it doesn’t help them, it just makes more truama, and less truama doesn’t come from more truama. I had to learn to fight to protect myself and get away from abuse. But now I feel like I have to learn to see the humanity in the people who don’t value my own humanity and drove me away from my own humanity, and I feel like it’s really really hard to empathize with people who have zero empathy for me, and it’s frustrating. I know part of the solution is Education, Knowledge, and Awareness. But you can’t teach someone who doesn’t want to learn. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change. I couldn’t get the homophobic suicidal man to see how him and I are the same, so I damned him and cursed him in my heart. I curse all of them and want nothing to do with any of them. I hate, truly, and deeply hate all of them. More than they hate me, more than they could possibly imagine. Because I used to love people like that. I can’t anymore because my raw survival demands adaptation.
@qqma4791
@qqma4791 8 ай бұрын
It’s good that you’ve reflected on your past actions. The first step is taking full accountability for your actions without beating around the bush or minimising the consequences. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through I will probably never understand how awful the stuff you had to go through on a daily basis was because of the privileges I have. It’s sad because it’s so easy to spread feelings of hurt. I do understand the feeling of being so hurt by people who have turned bitter that it spreads to others. Your pain becomes their pain because harshness is all you know and it’s like a disease. These people who minimise your issues and tear your character down with words just seem so awful until you realise that they are in pain on the inside as well. Just like you. It doesn’t make their actions less horrible or undermine the consequences but understanding is always the key to growth. It not always easy to make others understand. Sometimes its outside of your ability but it mean they have to stay toxic forever. Sometimes its ok to just leave and hope that they have a change of heart later in life. So I understand you. I understand them as well and I’m sure you can as well. You have the power to break the cycle by showing them empathy and understanding their side of the story first. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Because compassion is what heals people. You are worthy of love and acceptance no matter who you are. I hope you can find that person who you can be safe and be yourself around. If you can, try to find those people you hurt and listen to them. You don’t have to let them step on you but ask why they feel the way they do. You can apologise for some of the harsh things you said but let them know how much they hurt you at the time. Then they will understand the perpetuating cycle of pain and hurt as well. It’s the first step to improving your outlook on life and the outlook of others. Every day is a new version of you and you can make a change. Every day is a new version of everyone else as well. Maybe the suicidal person will change bis views when they are in healthier state aswell. I’m saying none of this to berate you. You said horrible stuff that you really regret but don’t use that as an excuse to hurt yourself. You deserve healing. Also as a christian, it’s in no way my place to judge you. I know that saying I’m a christian could have some triggers because of what the suicidal man said to you. But our message should be love and compassion foremost above everything else. I know many christians don’t see eye to eye with LGBTQ but they should not act out of anger towards you. They are no less sinners than you and I know that you struggle because of how you feel about your identity. Jesus dined with the sinners. He died to save them. I won’t force this message down your throat but God loves you. If you don’t want to believe any of that it’s fine. it’s your choice. So live your life to its fullest. You think your survival instincts are preventing you from showing love to others but it doesn’t have to be that way. Don’t let it dissuade you into isolating yourself from others. Show understanding to others and I’m sure it will return to you in some way. Maybe it won’t always come back to you but I will know know you’re trying to make a difference and God does too.
@rinishan
@rinishan 7 ай бұрын
I feel you. I haven't had to deal with homophobia as I'm mostly straight and cis, but after trauma from misogyny and SA I did develop a hatred of men for a long time. What I've learned is that you can't be expected to help those who hurt you until you are safe enough to not be hurt again. My compassion for men's struggles has only grown after healing and finding myself surrounded by people who love and value me. Go find your tribe and safe haven. There's no need to feel responsible for those who dehumanise you. Don't put yourself in danger and get more traumatized. Over time it might become more natural to be kind to homophobes, or perhaps you'll be surrounded by allies, who can speak on your behalf. Misogynistic men are more likely to learn from other men, and I would imagine homophobes also are more open to learn from non-lgbtq+ folks. Sadly. I hope you find a way to safe people and self-love. It's amazing that you're aware how your actions affect others. Even more reason to heal and be happy. Then you won't be spreading on trauma as much. So nice to see people be aware of their behaviour and traumas. Sorry for everything you've been through and all the best for the future ❤
@blugrn1999
@blugrn1999 7 ай бұрын
This should be taught in the workplace as well!
@alicialexists
@alicialexists 7 ай бұрын
This should definitely play in schools where both students and teachers can see it.
@Peaceharmony-x3r
@Peaceharmony-x3r 7 ай бұрын
I have never seen teachers at school or managers in the workplace respond in this ideal way to this group bullying. I have been the victim in both scenarios and every time, they always side with the bullies and blame the victim. This doesn't look like things are going to change. Having been in a very toxic work situation i remember when I first started I read their equal opportunities policies and procedures. It would state quite clearly bullying is not tolerated in the work place, yet the managers and HR are the biggest hypocrites going and can be bullies themselves. I also worked in HR where I was bullied by my line manager and her flying monkeys. This is a sick, toxic world.
@SpeedUpThatComputer
@SpeedUpThatComputer 7 ай бұрын
The more quickly people learn there is no justification for bad actions the better our world will be.
@whittenaw
@whittenaw 7 ай бұрын
Self awareness is key. If we know what we are doing and why, we can stop the behavior if we want
@GrowthMindsetHub-h
@GrowthMindsetHub-h 3 ай бұрын
This video really opened my eyes! Your insights about how our minds work with excuses are so valuable.
@victoralvarez2956
@victoralvarez2956 9 ай бұрын
Watching these videos is fun. But seeing it first-hand and knowing it works it exceptional! 🔥 Nice to see videos like this for the public. Good thing I subscribed to sprouts.
@marhar1172
@marhar1172 7 ай бұрын
Yes, please teach this in schools. My older sister bullied me at home then i was bullied at school. No one stood up for me or protected me when this happened, these excuses were used often. The consequences of childhood bulling can last a lifetime. Luckily i went to therapy to validate my experience and got better.
@snowiecat456
@snowiecat456 7 ай бұрын
These are exactly the excuses an abusive partner uses to justify their abuse. This is exactly what this type of behaviour is. It's abuse and that should be pointed out as well as the moralistic side of it. And yes definitely, kids should be taught this in schools so that they recognise their own actions but also can recognise when someone is being abusive to them as it's not always obvious.
@nerfornothing2589
@nerfornothing2589 8 ай бұрын
This is the first video I watched on your channel, keep up the good work 👍
@sprouts
@sprouts 8 ай бұрын
Awesome! Thank you! 😊 We will work hard to try doing just that!
@manuproulx2764
@manuproulx2764 8 ай бұрын
People will use racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, and a lot of other nasty behaviors to "justify" the bullying, harassment, and abuse that they put others through. Which is horrible and needs to be taken more seriously by everyone. And, let me tell you, anyone who tries to excuse their nasty and toxic behavior towards me or others will be kept out of my life.
@ginatate3098
@ginatate3098 7 ай бұрын
Every person in society would benefit from learning this is information. Deflecting guilty is an attempt to escape personal accountability & consequences
@Minorskillissue
@Minorskillissue 9 ай бұрын
At school I never learnt about it, but might in the following school years in post-secondary and Uni(If I decide to go, likely both, as in my country you can leave school at 16.) I'd love if they did put aside a lesson or two, or teach it in P.S.C.D(Not sure if any other countries have this subject.) As I think it'll be an important thing to learn. Not as much as basic language, number problem solving and other basic skills, but still quite important.
@TheAvprobeauty
@TheAvprobeauty 7 ай бұрын
when you do stand up to bullies and get pissed and then people call you a psycho but they *stop* you did good.
@imtryingiswear97
@imtryingiswear97 8 ай бұрын
Teaching it in school would help more people recognise it, and be able to call it out, but most likely it’ll be used to call out others more instead of reflecting on oneself. Heck, there’s a possibility that some might end up using these as techniques to build excuses.
@spencercase5370
@spencercase5370 7 ай бұрын
Euphemistic labeling is the one I remember the most. Most bullies are actually funny, but that doesn’t make it ok.
@sprouts
@sprouts 7 ай бұрын
Yes!
@rafsandomierz5313
@rafsandomierz5313 8 ай бұрын
Excuses are the worst feature to exist, it's very easy to turn them against yourself as well.
@jacobmartinelli7496
@jacobmartinelli7496 7 ай бұрын
i'm glad someone uploaded something along the lines of the things i've been dealing with. "", hospitals, judges, police, religion, fostercare ...
@blauespony1013
@blauespony1013 9 ай бұрын
At least I heard all those excuses at some point. And I would not say that I did not use them. We all learn to be more responsible and to stand up for our mistakes at some point. Or we will play the victim forever.
@78alissa
@78alissa 7 ай бұрын
We definitely need to be teaching this to kids so they take more responsibility and show more empathy.
@jurgenbachmann5920
@jurgenbachmann5920 8 ай бұрын
The Joker once said: Some People really want to see you fail! Why should i apologize for the monster i became! Nobody apologize for making me this way! They never even acknowledged the pain i suffered! I have to pick up the pieces and try to build myself back up again! I had to become!
@tamaramerritt3324
@tamaramerritt3324 7 ай бұрын
I have heard every one of those excuses many times over. Not only do I think schools need to learn this. I think daycare’s should teach it and the work force needs to teach this as an ethics class.
@Triflixfilms
@Triflixfilms 9 ай бұрын
Has someone has been watching Bryan Johnson? Nice video :) Moral Disengagement can be used to justify actions toward oneself as well as others.
@PrideSage99
@PrideSage99 7 ай бұрын
Yes, I have used these twisted ways of justifying my actions, and I wish people were taught these concepts earlier on so we'd be more caring. Thanks for sharing!
@ditchgator1
@ditchgator1 9 ай бұрын
Parenting used to teach basics like these to the children at home helping kids develop into fine human beings. Today the parents seem to be letting the streets or schools take parenting responsibilities.
@SageWon-1aussie
@SageWon-1aussie 9 ай бұрын
Attribution of blame. Right here.
@ditchgator1
@ditchgator1 9 ай бұрын
​@@SageWon-1aussie Parents are not kids (hopefully), and need to know these lessons in life to teach their children. Parenting is not a choice to be taken lightly.
@SageWon-1aussie
@SageWon-1aussie 9 ай бұрын
@@ditchgator1 I agree that parents need to know these things (not that this is usually on the curriculum) and have a huge responsibility for their children. However, there is an attribution of blame on a few levels in your OP. Not only the parents blaming the streets, schools and (recently) social media for the failings of children but also the idea that raising their children is their sole responsibility. Children do not grow up in a vacuum sealed household, and the care of children is really everybody's responsibility.
@ditchgator1
@ditchgator1 9 ай бұрын
@@SageWon-1aussie You continue to misunderstand... I'm not saying that the parents are not blaming the streets for educating their children... It is apparent everywhere. Your arguement that what is being conveyed in this video is NOT in a parents cirriculum... Perhaps it wasn't in your parents curriculum that you are arguing for...? If not in a parents curriculum, then the streets are the only place ...? That has proven in most cases to be unfortunate if the child is not raised well. Parenting is teaching life... If not the parents... Then who...? And let me add... When taking on the responsibility of raising children, parents must see the raising of their children as their sole #1 responsibility. Everything else is for the success of this priority. When a well raised child gets busted for going astray, outside of the home, by police, most officers of the law recognize a well raised child and will teach them a lesson whereas they wouldn't try to teach a bad kid anything and just throw them through the system. Most everyone, that was raised well, that the child comes across outside of that childs home, can recognize a well raised child and will help if needed and ignore otherwise. Only those that were not successfully raised well will either ignore or take advantage of a good kid. We see this all the time. For a successful civilization, what do we need most...? Well raised children or children left to the streets for their education?
@Afrologist
@Afrologist 7 ай бұрын
Yep, as a former teacher I saw this firsthand
@Business_People_Places
@Business_People_Places 4 күн бұрын
This is a great video, very mind opening. As we take accountability for our own behaviors. Thank you! 👏
@janetrodriguez8247
@janetrodriguez8247 7 ай бұрын
WHEN GROWING UP AS A CHILD IN THE 80’s I WAS TAUGHT THAT JOINING A GROUP TO BULLY AN INDIVIDUAL OR TWO IS A COWARDLY ACT!!
@debbiecreter2005
@debbiecreter2005 Ай бұрын
Bullying in schools and workplaces need to be handled by administrators. This behavior is not acceptable and should never be ignored or tolerated. Not dealing with this plants the seeds for impactful negative outcomes for everyone. No one should ever be subjected to this type of treatment because it is harassment and abusive. Another commenter said people who don’t stop the bullying are just as guilty as the bully and that is true. Bullies are exposing their own problematic issues through their behaviors. In schools: intervention with administrators, school counselors and school social workers, teachers, other staff members and parents and students. Through work: directors, managers, supervisors and Human Resources and employees. Team effort to tackle this problem in a unified way. We’ll continue to see the life altering results of not addressing bullying: assaults, shootings, murders, suicides, mental and physical health issues. Start caring enough to do something about this!
@ageves8487
@ageves8487 7 ай бұрын
This is a wonderful summary, and I love the use of dialogue. I will be using it in the future, thank you. Moral Disengagement. I like it. Sums it up, perfectly.
@okami4683
@okami4683 8 ай бұрын
I've also seen "Sara," play the victim to get other kids in trouble. Even refusing to engage with her, she played the victim stating she wasn't being included. When forced to be included, she played the victim when she didn't get her way.
@thecatlikeprincess
@thecatlikeprincess 7 ай бұрын
Thank you. This is so much food for thought.
@kritikasharma6846
@kritikasharma6846 9 ай бұрын
I am taking a course on bullying, and this is beyond useful! 😍
@Xianne027
@Xianne027 7 ай бұрын
Yes, kids would certainly benefit from learning this in school, and also general communication and non-defensive conflict management skills. It would certainly put the world off to a better place.
@omegarealmsbans1914
@omegarealmsbans1914 8 ай бұрын
Not sure what this one would be called, but how about, "People bullied me, so I should be allowed to be a bully too."? Or "We're not bullies because the teachers favor the person we're bullying or the parents of our target is rich and successful so we're the real victims here."?
@karenkalweit6018
@karenkalweit6018 7 ай бұрын
This is about more than just bullying although that was a great example. Everybody should learn about this. It applies to every part of life, including politics.
@matthewboyd8689
@matthewboyd8689 8 ай бұрын
Sounds like how employers justify their actions.
@magnetdesignandadver
@magnetdesignandadver 7 ай бұрын
This is very valuable and very clear. All children AND ALL ADULTS, should see this
@cochlea2719
@cochlea2719 8 ай бұрын
The Golden Rule works precisely because of the possibility of being harm, not because there's anything that is universal good nor absolutely evil; it is all context dependent. Justice must be dictated always by necessity, doing what's just (logical) and necessary for the sake of realizing one's will (life purpose). The real crux of the matter is when people have extremely incompatible motivations; then, conflict arises not from childish whims, but from deep desires, which cannot be put aside without putting one's will to live aside as well
@leonaise7546
@leonaise7546 8 ай бұрын
Helping bad people justify their actions. Not saying your wrong but still
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
​@@leonaise7546but when is what you define as "bad" actually bad? Hell, what even is "bad"? I think it's also critical to do a thorough analysis of this as well before jumping to conclusions about the situation.
@goldendiamon
@goldendiamon 6 ай бұрын
@@Sonilotos You're selfish.You are here enabling what bullies did,and then you get mad that they punished?No wonder there are many entitled brats in society cuz of enablers like you.Stop acting like you own everything.
@BusinessMan1619
@BusinessMan1619 7 ай бұрын
This is a great video. A lot of the human population could benefit from watching it and learning what empathy and compassion are.
@mariamraza659
@mariamraza659 9 ай бұрын
Wow. I see people justifying harm against Pales****, calling them human animals.
@John_Smith_86
@John_Smith_86 9 ай бұрын
I mean, they are, right? It is a factually and scientifically accurate description.
@laurentrobitaille2204
@laurentrobitaille2204 8 ай бұрын
Humans are animals
@areejashraf7413
@areejashraf7413 8 ай бұрын
​@@John_Smith_86Loving the dehumanization you've got going on there!
@John_Smith_86
@John_Smith_86 8 ай бұрын
@@areejashraf7413 Thanks!!!
@areejashraf7413
@areejashraf7413 8 ай бұрын
@@John_Smith_86 Your welcome, animal! :)
@lcmarina
@lcmarina 6 ай бұрын
Yea my mom used all of these excuses for why she bullied me growing up and why she continues to emotionally abuse me now
@mbs0710
@mbs0710 9 ай бұрын
Exactly what we have been seeing Dehumanization of Palestinians
@sor3999
@sor3999 8 ай бұрын
Try telling the Palestinians that Jews deserve to live too and see how they react. 🤡
@Fuzz82
@Fuzz82 7 ай бұрын
I think this is a very important lesson for children. They often hear about examples from an adults point of view, which might not even cross their minds.. They should also reflect on their own actions. Even small ones like a random lie which affects someone. It is also a very good way to know how their conscience develops. Or if they even have one. For example, after those kids were punished for bullying they can be asked to explain why bullying is bad. A child with a well developed conscience would mention that it hurts the victim, and that they shouldn't hurt people. A child with a less developed conscience will not understand this and might say something like: "I will be punished if I do it again." as a reason. Knowing the situation, but leaving the vicim and the act out of it alltogether.
@simonnilsson8375
@simonnilsson8375 9 ай бұрын
What about the silent treatment? I used to be bullied a lot by these 8 morals. But I have also impacted another person by acting in a certain way. I treated people like they didn’t require my needs to be happy. I always thought them as people who already got everything they need, not requiring be to care about them. While they sit in a corner crying, I would ignore their existence and carry out my day like usual, while they draw drawings, I wouldn’t give feedback nor talk to them. Moral of silence.
@SageWon-1aussie
@SageWon-1aussie 9 ай бұрын
This is about moral "justification". Trying to get straight with yourself when you know you have done something wrong. It doesn't speak to your personal values.
@wintterdior7442
@wintterdior7442 7 ай бұрын
As would say my grandfather: A broken nose tends to teach limits and respect... A bully should fear messing with you. Not feel encouraged to do it.
@davicosthacripto6375
@davicosthacripto6375 8 ай бұрын
Interesting, but in my opinion it missed one important justi: "He gets what he deservers" which makes people bully/harash others for one action which depending of the enverionment it can be perceived as morally good or bad. For example: Sara may have betrayed their "trust", hurted a friend of them , did something morality wrong 3/4 years ago and etc. I had a friend who was bullied for 2 years(physical and psycological violence ) because one girl believed that he was harashing her(looking at her butt) and made rumors that he is a predator. The result: he started to get bully and attacked. But again: This would make the video more complex and dificult to understand, the video shared its message as it intended to(i hope) WARNING, THIS COMMENT CONTAIN SENSITIVE SUBJECTS, IF YOU ARE SENSIBLE PLEASE LEAVE! Of course, if he was a real predator people would be cheering for the "bullies" since they are doing a favor to them. There are many stories about this, one for example about a fake predator who was accused of being a predator of a baby and jailed: he got tortured and abused. Later, it was proved that he was not a predator and some of those who did it asked to be jailed because they could not stand the guilty. In short: we are all victim of this excuses. While the animation portrayed them as obviously the "antagonist" of sara to simplify it, if We expand the painting We might realize that it's not that easy as we thought... Sorry for my gramma mistakes, i am still learning english so It is not my first language(if I made some mistakes here, let me know please).
@c.eb.1216
@c.eb.1216 8 ай бұрын
Sometimes they just devise elaborate fantasies in their minds that they'll reference from time to time, like you being nice must be a farce hiding evil intent. And then if you start reacting negatively to the abuse, that reinforces that story in their head.
@obviouslyasockpuppet
@obviouslyasockpuppet 7 ай бұрын
"She's a bad person so it doesn't matter what I do to her/happens to her" Used by those who engage in cancel culture.
@phillipotey9736
@phillipotey9736 9 ай бұрын
Would like a video rebutting these mental gymnastics.
@MONARCH_FLIES
@MONARCH_FLIES 9 ай бұрын
disregarding consequences & attribution of blame :/
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
​@@MONARCH_FLIESthese terms can be easily misused. They're for instances where the misdeed is blatant; not for whenever you see it fit. Before you know it, it's you who becomes the hypocrite. Please beware of this.
@MONARCH_FLIES
@MONARCH_FLIES 8 ай бұрын
@@Sonilotos that's a great point. i think i got caught up there. thanks :)
@Sonilotos
@Sonilotos 8 ай бұрын
@@MONARCH_FLIES no problem. Have a nice day!
@MONARCH_FLIES
@MONARCH_FLIES 8 ай бұрын
@@Sonilotos you too my friend! :D
@dynastyof3880
@dynastyof3880 8 ай бұрын
Yeah, there are plenty of people in our lives that are like this. Being original brings out all type of emotional disturbing behavior from others through out life.
@infinitymfg5397
@infinitymfg5397 9 ай бұрын
Really good video.
@katherinekelly6432
@katherinekelly6432 7 ай бұрын
Bullying is a form of dominance and dominance creates euphoria because it relieves existential anxiety. This is why there is a murderer in the hearts of all people. The relationship a person has with their mortality and suffering will decide their relationship with others.
@sarahwagland1559
@sarahwagland1559 7 ай бұрын
It's always about control and starts with our ability or lack of ability to control ourselves.
@YouTubeThrowaway-lj9vy
@YouTubeThrowaway-lj9vy 7 ай бұрын
Animals (and people are animals, make no mistake) are always and consistently testing each other's boundaries and asserting dominance. That's literally just existence. Even just as a joke, people will push boundaries. If you watch two dogs, one will annoy the other trying to play and the other will snap at it. Are the dogs "justifying their actions" or are they just testing boundaries and reestablishing dominance?
@andyhurrell
@andyhurrell 9 ай бұрын
This is a very well made, informative video. These eight categories of moral disengagement, in combination, describe the mindset of a sociopath, don't they? ASPD?
@martaleja9279
@martaleja9279 8 ай бұрын
People with ASPD still can have cognitive empathy
@goldendiamon
@goldendiamon 7 ай бұрын
​@@martaleja9279The sad thing is part of their brain responsible for empathy got injured and which is why they are addicted to doing crimes even if they regret it,their struggle's kinda similar to a drug addict
@lavidear6286
@lavidear6286 7 ай бұрын
I usually use the "why only me/us?" After all, my siblings and I are frequently late during the flag ceremony. On the other hand, the student parliament don't charge others for continuously violating the rules especially when they are friends with the person, so I point those people out. I don't do this all the time because it takes more time than doing our punishment immediately, though I do want extra hands sometimes (when other grades who do not have much ties to the parliament do not have punishment that day but we do) because our punishment is cleaning the garden (leaves) or the auditorium, and the auditorium is big while the garden is usually full of fallen leaves. Not guilty of it at all.
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