The Reason Why Men Lie & Cheat (ft. The Jooce_ZA) |

Wassup #DEFINING Fam! In today's video, we gathered the gents and unpacked some of the interesting things that men do!
Please make sure to let us know your thoughts on this chat! #RoadTo50K

[@itsjust.zainodiaz2913]

I always appreciate the honesty and rawness of the opinions on this channel as problematic as some may find it I find these conversations extremely necessary. // As for the mike vn... i cant breathe.

[@ksway8471]

True, the truth doesn't always go down well, people expect a panel of abo Dennis and thats not helpful... We need to hear the truth and understand things from all perspective....

[@Mollyolifant2767]

The woman dating Dennis is blessed... Such substance from someone 😭🙆🏽‍♀️

[@matshepomaduna5035]

Right!

[@lihlemngunyana3851]

True

[@mmathaboledwaba]

I second that

[@melomahlawole9609]

I know right 🥺 and I’m so thankful... it’s me, but he doesn’t know mara that’s not important.

[@evidancemogale3402]

@@melomahlawole9609 I am weak. 😂😭

[@Ngasii]

The theme of this video has one thing ring in my head: Masculinity is a performance. Society has taught us to be such thespians that some of us believe a great deal of what is taught. Men are taught to be such independent creatures with the power to create our own worlds but still somehow most are made with a cookie cutter and baked at 180°. We look similar varying in size, colour and maybe even shape but taste exactly the sane because the ingredients used came together to form one homogenous batter. A lot of what is taught to us is then taught to our ladies. Men are told hugging is not done by men but by women and then women are told if men hug each other then you best question his intentions. These god-complexes we have don't even allow us to tell other men that they are handsome because we lose the entire plot. It is very funny seeing a guy use every "manly" adjective he can think of instead of just sayiny he thought his boy looks good that day. I mean, should it automatically mean he is interested in his friend now? We go against nature in stripping a man from his emotions. Dennis, you made mention of the fact that men don't understand their emotions. I believe they could if they were allowed to instead of being told "men don't cry" and "toughen up" and "be a man". We truly rob ourselves of life in forcing each other into such a riggid way of being. Womxn in the world suffer by us because we unknowingly create and recreate monsters instead of men. We forever look to one up another to see who is the better man. We are our cast and crew. Lights. Camera. Masculinity.

[@msingathingwenze6631]

And the lengths that guys go through to prove that they are "real men" are amusing and a lot of the time quite repulsive. Men themselves are creating monsters in each other everyday day by encouring each other to indulge in destructive vices and behaviors, and by not holding one another accountable for their transgressions especially in our black neighbourhoods/townships where the soil for toxic masculinity is very fertile, the vibrations amongst men are low, the narrative of what a man is is distorted and they are spiritually disaligned therefore creating a very low quality of men who indulge in all sorts of henius and gross human crimes(sexual abuse, aggravated battery and pre meditated murder) because of the teachings of toxic masculinity that emphasise that being a real man is being a wreckless brute. Our way of life is not only a hazard to women and children, it is also detrimental to our own physical and emotional well being and what makes this even sadder is that there are still men out there that are men in the true sence and embody the true masculine essence culturally, morally, universally and wholistically and but there a few and far between that is the problem.

[@isiphilemathafeni5000]

We need a female version of this episode.

[@buhlemazibuko2656]

Your mind😍

[@Percy_mzangwa]

Yes we do..

[@monicamuchindu]

I agreee

[@GlowWithRed]

Definitely

[@aslbuthelezi]

True

[@nazo6667]

Next time can we please have Sibu Mpanza and Sipho men who understand the importance of such conversations. I think the time to joke about toxic masculinity has ended and I dont know if these guys understand that. This was a very difficult episode for me to watch as a woman ngoba these are realities that truly hurt women, but are seemingly jokes to these guys. . I appreciate that there is an open conversation, that's amazing. And I know that defining had good intentions with this video. But next time ndicela uSibu no Sipho, men who will take the opportunity to teach. Not men who make cheating, lying etc etc (toxic masculinity) stuff look "cool" . . Still love and appreciate Defining content ♥️🙌🏾

[@justthabi]

I totally agree with you Sinazo

[@mbalimayisela8470]

Dude for real ey

[@nonhlanhlaradebe7728]

Kamampela

[@AG-fg1uk]

PERIODT...I think only Dennis and Mcebo made sound points 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@azaniaplug1461]

You sound like a sad soul.

[@Lydia_m]

And that's why i'll remain single.I simply don't have time for BS.I hope some of the comments made in this video were for clout because we need men with better reasoning capacity and a high moral compass.Yuuu, i cannot deal

[@ksway8471]

No dont, they're so many great guys honestly

[@minenhleramokgonami4760]

Dennis is the Woolworths of men ❤️

[@mbalibuth.6256]

💯%

[@otlotlengmomphi7107]

The creme de la creme brahhhh 🥇

[@khunindlovu3310]

I love how we can never predict the content here...which makes it interesting...CONTENT IS ALWAYS ON A 💯

[@DEFINING]

Thank you Ndlovu🙌🏿😭🔥🔥

[@tshabangunv658]

True hey🙂

[@thati_monaheng]

Somebody needs to teach Phila about healthy friendships and accountability. His feelings regarding this are very troubling. It is the very thing that is wrong with black families

[@mbalimayisela8470]

Definitely agree with you

[@nondumisobuthelezi4570]

true

[@LifeAndGodliness01]

I enjoyed this... 1. Men don't have to lie according to our mood because when we find out, it's not easy to trust you again. Honesty is key. 2. The bro code is there but character is more important. Be you and proudly you. Stand up for what is right and shun what makes you uncomfortable. 3. Thank you for teaching your friend how to own up ❤️ we need more men to stand and fight with us against these atrocious crimes. I loved this.

[@DEFINING]

Thank you Shontel! I truly appreciate what you've shared, especially point 2! We need to maintain our characters in every space

[@sisandanyuswa2453]

Also this "We were raised this way" mentality is an issue. You can't be at an age where you can reason and still hide behind that statement. A lot of us were raised in toxic environments, but we don't go around hurting people in the name of "we were raised this way". I got worried listening to the views on lying, learn how to communicate. Have a teachable spirit, teach yourself how to communicate. Let's not pride ourselves in how toxic we are just because we were raised that way or we're "protecting and serving" , cause those are the teachings you'll impart onto the next generation

[@DEFINING]

I love how you emphasized that we need to have a teachable spirit! Nothing in this life is certain, hence we constantly have to learn and unlearn🙌🏿🔥.

[@kgabomolele3346]

Facts

[@sibonilembatha]

Dennis is super smart. I love the way he thinks, there is just so much sense to the things he talks about.😫🍀🙏🏿

[@itsnomacles]

Cebo is only allowed to wear bucket hats from here on. Regards Management

[@HelangMedia]

Nomathamsanqa Plaatjie Right?! 🔥🔥 and you’re the HBIC so it’s official

[@nonhlanhlatlhogi5204]

Right

[@cebompanza3860]

Dankie leadership 😂🙌🏽

[@magiquereviews]

I licked my screen

[@Lelo.m]

There’s nothing wrong with what Phila said. Like many, he was speaking from a place that lacked knowledge and our fellow brothers educated him. At the end of the day, the purpose was fulfilled. I love this channel 👏🏽❤️🥺

[@DEFINING]

We're all here to educate and inform one another. His intention wasnt to trigger or gaslight anyone. Very well said Kgalalelo🙏🏿

[@azaniaplug1461]

Been going through comments and you the only person who saw the bigger picture❤️❤️, imagine they were all perfect, it was gonna be boring.

[@BillyMuka]

From minute 15 is a clear indication of ignorance is bliss for "some" men! Understand what accountability means and why we [as women] so blatantly call [some] men out for it! You chose to be friends with someone, their actions reflect you on you as you have liked and hung around them. If you see someone your friend doing something wrong, you have to correct them. It doesn't guarantee that they are going to change their ways or respond lightly because it is coming from you, but you still have a responsibility for the people [that you CHOOSE to] keep. Accountability means stepping up is biting the bullet and letting your "friend" no where he (or she) is going wrong. If you don't , you are part of the orchestration of their downfall and it's on you!

[@mamobumabunda3012]

Why are y'all clapping for him being committed in a relationship for 3 years?😂😂😂😂 y'all are playing🚮🚮 Commitment is a minimum requirement in a relationship

[@liveforfitness84]

Lol yes we get it mara three years is a long time watseba😂😂a lot can happen in these streets within 3 years 😂😂

[@omphemetsekale8469]

SIS!!!🤣 i literally day here thinking why are fish being applauded for swimming😭🤦🏽‍♀️

[@kwetsephetla3597]

Friend 😂❤️

[@refilwemokgaotsi4434]

Dennis come through with the explanations 🙌🏾

[@isiphilemathafeni5000]

Yhuuu hay Dennis on the last topic spitting facts. We need more men like you.

[@matsheposeloi4064]

Cebo talking about “unlearning” this is my everyday chat! 💡

[@tlalylemeke7240]

I'm so stressed by the guy in the striped shirt💔💔💔it's unfortunate that his disposition is actually a common one among men.

[@nelisiwesishange1084]

He is an idiot 🙄 stupid nje.

[@kefilwepilane6376]

To be fair, they answered the questions. Different perspectives make it more realistic. Problematic yes. But I would have been worried if there weren't any problematic responses. But wow

[@TheJooceza]

Time with the Gents is always the Best 🔥🔥🔥we made it to Defining AGAIN😭😭😭😭

[@DEFINING]

It's always good having you on DEFINING + seeing you🙌🏿🙏🏿🔥

[@melomahlawole9609]

‘Men need to realize that they have a role to play’ PERIODT

[@TheJooceza]

Melo Melanin facts🙌🏽

[@nobuhleluciazulu6028]

The wisdom Dennis carries 😭❤ blessed is the woman dating him.

[@Kabaweezy]

MEN sign the register We're having the discussions, We are unlearning toxicity

[@deedidi9205]

Guys please help me. Where do I find me a Dennis? His thinking and perspective is on another level. I'm always learning something from him

[@khunindlovu3310]

We need a whole episode on holding men accountable the topic got real soon...looks like there are so many T&C

[@angelkabila5962]

Dennis has so much wisdom 😩❤️ I love hearing his opinion.

[@DEFINING]

Thank you Fam🙌🏿😭👏🏿🔥

[@sibonilembatha]

Angel Kabila he really does 😫😍

[@mbalidlungela6225]

"if its not toxic I don't want it, if I die I die" 😂💀

[@kgantshomokgalaka1084]

“Competing with your homies” what’re you, 15?😂

[@DEFINING]

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿😂

[@toxicteezy8310]

😂😂right

[@reratilwemanchidi1537]

More individuals like Dennis are NEEDED 👏👏!!!

[@dineoletsoko4713]

I think every guy needs a friend like Dennis, he speaks so much sense!

[@ashbuhari2496]

Awww the guy sitting in the middle is so open minded. The lady dating him is one of the luckiest lady ever. Respect🙌🏽

[@thandiwemthombeni6974]

That voicenote never gets old🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DEFINING]

Never😅😂😂🙌🏿🔥

[@relebogile426]

Defining with breaking the stereotypes and having the difficult conversations🥺🥺. This content>>>

[@DEFINING]

🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@bonoloatong]

I appreciate Philani for being honest with his perspectives! I thoroughly appreciate the boy! I love you all. Good episode!

[@TheJooceza]

Bonolo Atong thank you ☺️

[@DEFINING]

🙌🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@Babs.K]

Lol I see Dennis laughing at this “spreading” lingo 🤣

[@thembelihlendlovu3558]

His reaction kills me wuu😂😂😂😂

[@onthegoodsideco]

Dennis is squirming 60% of the time! Haha! The Jooce guys are hecticccccccccccc! Nice vid!

[@HelangMedia]

Dennis’ reactions 😂😂😂

[@DEFINING]

🙈🙈 Always trying to be honest🙌🏿😅🔥

[@kagisomodutwane5361]

Dennis has beeeeeeeeeen shook the whole time!!!! Like me, I am Dennis's reactions. 👀👀🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

[@misstmotswana8217]

Content is fire.. such conversations need to be made a norm in society because that's how some men will realise that they did something wrong (last point)

[@chumiisa_m]

I've never jumped this fast to watch a video. Y'all better not lie

[@ayandahlongwane8857]

😂😂You n me both

[@HelangMedia]

Usually I get afraid of what Bongani is going to say but when TheJooce is in the building I worry about Philane 👀

[@HelangMedia]

In fact Bonga also. They’re both nje just a lot hlena

[@TheJooceza]

Wow 😂😂😂

[@tropicalmk3519]

Facts💔It disappoints me that Philani has this kind of mindset💔and I'm a jooce fan joh😔now I'm even embarrassed to say that I am one😔💔

[@vuyogqola]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼I respect every single one of them. It was an interesting conversation. As a black community we have a lot to un learn👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@khokhelwazokwana681]

Ive come to learn that in conversations like these if people dont see the harm they do by not making people accountable they simply have conversations for 21minutes and 41 seconds and continue with their lives. They see nothing wrong with how much of a difference they could create if they opened up their minds to understanding perspectives, learning and unlearning certain things in society.

[@HelangMedia]

TheJooce has showed me that I won’t date a Zulu man 😂😂. Noways guys. I would make an exception for Cebo though, because he said wang rata tata on yesterday’s Instagram live. So in my heart he’s Tswana.

[@DEFINING]

😂😂😂

[@cebompanza3860]

😂😂😂rata tatata

[@mponangmokoena7423]

Also can guys change the conversations they have with each other!! That culture of backing each other when you cheat is TRASH!😪

[@BambinoMaduna]

Dennis did that “Deep ass Heavy Negro Sigh” 😂 Philani just drained his energy with that last scenario.

[@olwethumiti6065]

Whyyy is Dennis the cutest 😂😂❤️with his little millyrock, love it man

[@minnieluvuno1124]

Growing up we were taught to hold each other accountable & letting each other know when we are wrong. This distancing yourself situation is what gives them the safety net that's led to such high statistics. Reprimand each other, help each other learn & change the mindset.

[@thati_monaheng]

DEFINING always coming through with premium content 🔥👏🏽

[@queenethnkosi8685]

1st question the 'with you' is silent 😆😆😂😂

[@letlotlonyenye7626]

Thank you for your candour. I feel like men need to hold each other accountable and create a new culture. #JustSaying

[@alizwamandubu7159]

I laughed so hard at the squeezing butt question because I do it to mans all the time and I get a mixed reaction from him but I know he lowkey likes it. 😹😹

[@azaniaplug1461]

Lol we like it kakhulu🤣

[@kevin_from_work]

Some pretty serious stuff that you guys have put together here, and i like that closing argument about accountability and how if someone confronts you about something, it means that they respect your opinion on that matter. I personally have been in such situations its not an easy situation to be in, but like the brother said there that we need to make that moment count and use it wisely.

[@otlotlengmomphi7107]

Argh man, Dennis 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Goosebumps 🥺

[@daniellathavede1020]

uPhila can’t say his name is from philanthropist after this chat.

[@tebogokgohlo8903]

Honestly

[@msingathingwenze6631]

For real though🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@msingathingwenze6631]

@Zama mlotshwa 🤣🤣🤣

[@Collleeeen]

I agree.

[@nonkululekotshabalala9774]

@@Collleeeen I agree this dude doesn't think he listens to respond not to understand..that's pure ignorance.

[@Taz-Noe]

Love this👏❤ Your conversation about holding your friends accountable is so relevant👏

[@wendy7915]

What couldve been a great episode, is watered down by the immaturity.

[@Kearamojela]

Wendy Ngcobo No ways, this was a great episode. The honesty is what we need in order to correct and unlearn things that are toxic in our society.

[@odi9377]

After watching this one... It's official guys... I'm in love with Dennis!!!

[@monicamuchindu]

And helooks so clean shuu

[@nomceboncanana4929]

Please leave my boyfriend alone sis🙅🏾‍♀️🙅🏾‍♀️

[@odi9377]

@@nomceboncanana4929 noted sister 😉 noted 😄😄😄

[@lesegomzondi6608]

Bhuti with the stripped t-shirt's views are a biiiiiiiiiit problematic

[@amandamkhize5539]

lesego mzondi when they were having the rape conversion 😦!

[@elihlegwala8372]

Very much so.

[@makoma_lotus8116]

He is hella trashy on a regular...even on their own channel

[@mosimatjale7725]

And you can see that the gents were bored by some of his replies wuuuuuu Hai ave abora uboti ohot

[@nhlanhlahadebe412]

Soo cringe

[@Bokotho]

I wish more men could start having such conversations. I'm sharing this with all my guy friends.

[@nelisamadokwe6062]

Big ups to Bongani with that 3-year relationship 👏

[@DEFINING]

🙌🏿👏🏿👏🏿🔥🔥

[@marangphalalo5438]

Yeah no, imagine dating the guy in stripes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 haikona 🙅🏽‍♀️ I’m scared

[@azaniaplug1461]

You'd be surprised maybe his dating game tops all of them.

[@didintlemotemekoane8436]

Bathong guys why is Dennis soooo cute?😍😍

[@TheJooceza]

Didintle Motemekoane Hot Boy Dennie 🔥🔥🔥

[@chiedzalight.9656]

I don't think getting bored cannot be used as an excuse for cheating. I think cheating has a little to do with exercising of autonomy. An individual invests so much into a relationship and after a long time they feel that they have no sense of agency and they try to get it back. Great content, always nice to listening to such. This gives perspective and helps understand the different dynamics that comes to play when problems arise.

[@bluemagic7128]

Dennis👏👏👏 Thank you guy's so much for the accountability talk these are conversations that need to be had especially man and in their circle .Amazing stuff yall keep it up 🙌

[@DEFINING]

Thank you 🥺🙌🏿🙏🏿

[@kelvinvanwyk5164]

😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽haha I could listen to you guys for hours😂 love it

[@YourFavoriteBabyMama]

Guys, nna I truly get this! Like I do...lol I’m not even bitter about this because it’s a reality

[@mihlalisolombela9982]

“if it’s toxic we don’t want it. if i die i die!” sanoyiki 💀

[@minenhlekhazi3312]

Bruh! 😩💀

[@nicolahlongwane4166]

Dennis and Cebo... Men like you are rare gems. 💖

[@nicolahlongwane4166]

Also Dennis' facial expressions at the rather interesting answers are the bestest!

[@DEFINING]

I tried to tone it down, but some of the statements kept rocking my world 😅😂🙈🔥

[@sindisiweshange8376]

The notion of returning kindness with sexual favours just condones Prostitution. In light of toxic masculinity; we ought to keep in mind the toxic femininity that comes with it too. I like how it was mentioned ukuthi there's a lot of unlearning and learning that needs to be done. A lot of trauma's that need to be 'healed', the journey is a long one guys! Yuuuh!!🙆 I have a lot to say about the last part of the video😯 got me like 😕🙆🙉

[@hellenmmile7481]

Ah dankie Dennis for the content✨the different perspectives always make the conversations worth listening to

[@DEFINING]

🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@xongilemasungwini2882]

I didn't see you there Hellen😂

[@nonhlanhlatlhogi5204]

All my faves are here♥️... Friday Made

[@DEFINING]

Thank you Fam🙌🏿🔥

[@mponangmokoena7423]

Dennis, your channel is SO refreshing bathong. Beautiful content man❤👏🏾

[@DEFINING]

Thank you Family 🙌🏿🔥🍾

[@fiinanambambi5459]

Indeed

[@bonolomarumo7505]

Yhu hayi KZN seems like it endorses such patriarchal behaviour. I know it's a general issue within the black community but from what I have observed it seems very extreme that side

[@siphamakuluma2434]

Eastern Cape too. And the ladies "understand"

[@Aboongwe]

Not true. It is just an excuse some hide behind. Born and bred in KZN, lived in GP for 5 years and 2 years and counting in WC. It is black culture. Patriarchal culture is a black SA problem. Not tribal.

[@josephvalmdluli3868]

Denise Is like i dont know about this🤣🤣🤣.he is shocked,Philani is being Philani again... this raw conversation are lit gents

[@din_dins_adventures183]

I think toxic masculinity will continue to be part of out society for a long time and a lot of things said here confirm it. For me the scary part is that we call people "good" guys when they encourage you to disrespect your relationship..... But anywho I'm glad we having open convos about it. Especially as males because men tend to disregard a women's opinion valid or not.......🤔🤔 Yassssssssssss Dennis give us the wisdom! Here for it 💁‍♀️🙋‍♀️

[@kagisomodutwane5361]

Cebo!!!!! My guy !!! 👏👏👏👏🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 People need to do a lot of unlearning. This needs its own video nje

[@mitchellechikwengo3074]

We're here #notificationgang as always 😍

[@esethusino9658]

💃💃💃❤❤❤❤

[@msingathingwenze6631]

Dennis and the bucket hat guy were the only ones that brought substance to the video to be honest, the rest of the other sentiments and opinions were rather interesting😆

[@DEFINING]

Cebo (Bucket Hat) really brought some facts to the table🙌🏿🔥🍾. It's important to have different perspectives represented so that we know who, what and how to address it

[@msingathingwenze6631]

Facts💯, topics like these should be incorporated more in daily conversation because they bring to light that us as men/guys really need to take a look at ourselves and realise that we are in shambles as a collective and our way of life is just toxic. A lot of male friendships/squads are built on pure ignorance and no genuine care or concern for one another's well beings honestly and our forefathers are the same, it's just a continuous vicious cycle that looks like it will never end

[@DEFINING]

@@msingathingwenze6631 sounds like you should have been part of this panel🙏🏿👏🏿😭🙌🏿. Spitting so many bars

[@Ngasii]

3:32: Because masculinity is a performance.

[@bopheloandstuff]

Ultimately, this video proves that men need to educate men and hold men accountable - that's the primary way discrimination and disrespect against women will change. The Dennis' need to call the Philas out more often.

[@ModernWife]

Lool! Hahaha and you chose The Jooce for this episode.....I haven't even watched but I'm already nervous #TouchOfEntertainment #DEFINING

[@DEFINING]

😂😂😂

[@dineosaane]

Cheating is wrong no matter how you look at it its wrong..plus most people do cheat cause they are bored in a relationship and they are afraid to let go their current"boring partner"

[@ndzwakazidlamini4966]

Dennis is such an enlightened individual 💕 such honesty from a man is rare.

[@DEFINING]

Thank you Ndzwakazi🙌🏿🤗🤗

[@cebompanza3860]

Aaaaah the Mike edit😂😂🤣

[@DEFINING]

That voice note bro😂🙌🏿🙏🏿🔥

[@mntungwa]

why wasn't dennis a keynote something at the men's conference?! like, yoh such brilliant views mate! 🙌👌

[@sinothandosinayemoerane1463]

You gents really need to have these conversations more often.

[@ModernWife]

And oh we have Cebo!!! Welcome back, all the way from TNBA #TheWildCard #DEFINING

[@DEFINING]

It's so good to have him back🙌🏿😭🔥🍾

[@cebompanza3860]

It’s good to be back 😭 shout out🙌🏽😌

[@jesslumka]

Thank you Phila for being so honest. There was a lot I ddnt realize, until now, was happening with boys

[@lxsakhanya]

True. Some people forget that other people go through stuff.

[@sandianbc8732]

This video was actually very educational. Thank you for making it clear that we need to unlearn toxic behaviours as a people and stop saying that's just how it is.

[@khanyag6092]

I liked this video before watching cause I know it's gonna be gooood

[@nyasha2432]

patterns work so well with Dennis' skin!!!!!!!!!

[@DEFINING]

Thank you🙏🏿🔥

[@GlowWithRed]

You know what? We need something like this with the ladies. It’s easy for us to look at these gents and think, “Wow. Guys are really stupid.” But women are ‘like this’ in their own ways. Some problematic views but eh 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@aminatudacosta-dah5115]

Mans in the middle was constantly being shook by homeboiis😭😂😭😂😭

[@DEFINING]

😂😂😂😂

[@emmahs7402]

you guys literally uplifted my mood!!!✨✨ i mean your truth is hurtfulnyana but the vibes are just🔥✨

[@kwamkelemkize7458]

You can never protect a persons feelings with lies!! Never.

[@windymoshoette7554]

I think we need an episode with the gents about accountability and consent. A lot needs to be dissected