The Sark Football Team and Hovercraft Enthusiasm: Citation Needed 7x02

[@TomScottGo]

If anyone from Sark would like to get in touch, I've put a contact-us link in the description...

[@MrTokesu]

Tom Scott how is this comment a week old when the video came.out a few minutes ago?

[@wierdalien1]

A youtube channel because I assume he made it when he uploaded it not when he published it.

[@chimpaflimp]

+A youtube channel Because he queued the video a week ago and made the comment when he did so.

[@chimpaflimp]

Why's the video so grainy, tom? It looks like a video that's been recorded outside when it's _just_ started getting dark out.

[@devastator5042]

Oh wow they are actually trying to do it, I hope to God they get a chance to play.

[@JohnSmith-dt1tw]

By the way this episode is mentioned on the Sark wikipedia page as one of the notable appearances of Sark in media

[@devoted_eater567]

Wow

[@LiquidSandwich]

Unfortunately it was taken down as not being important enough

[@addityasinghal897]

@@LiquidSandwich Aww what. This is sooooo noteworthy

[@adammullarkey4996]

@@addityasinghal897 I just looked and it is up.

[@timothymclean]

@@LiquidSandwich Even though the team was contacted about it. Guess the internet news source reporting on it wasn't important enough either...

[@Brannersatlarge]

Right, I don't usually comment but...re the 'island' thing, just to clarify, my understanding was that they play equally *small* island nations. I'm well aware we are surrounded by wet watery stuff with all fish and whatnot in BUT: We can’t be an ‘official’ England rep as they exist as a UEFA nation and we don't play for them. Additionally, if we played as 'Great Britain' it would technically be an international against *themselves*. So, for this ruse to count we’d need to be a small, temporarily independent, nation. Hence Peasholm Park Island FA, which would also have the advantage of us having our own Navy and Air Force. So there.

[@Brannersatlarge]

(Don't @ me etc etc)

[@timothymclean]

Well, you didn't say "small island nation," you said "island." Also...they played Greenland. That's the second-largest island in the world. Not many people, but hey.

[@DasGanon]

Well, if you had an American on the team you could just find a random pile of sand and guano act it into a territory to play from

[@vonriel1822]

Isn't Sealand still a place? Surely you could look into becoming Sealand's official football team!

[@tomchaney6085]

Do hovercrafts count as the navy and the airforce? (Or did I just explain the joke that was meant to be implicit?)

[@almagill]

Gary: "We're not from an island, that's the only problem..." Bad news for you, chaps. The sea, it's got us surrounded.

[@gustavthomsen1538]

They're called the British-isles after all.

[@altijdjouwnaantje]

almagill Yeah, that one puzzled me too... Greenland is 9 times bigger than Great Britain and they still think of that as an island, not a continent. So GB, all surrounded by water, definitely an island!

[@SeanGHOB]

Calvin Edwards, the island the lads are from is called Great Britain, which is one of The British Isles.

[@KingSepron]

Seán Hannan He was referring to the UK

[@SeanGHOB]

KingSepron, I know that. The UK is not an island. I was providing the actual name of the actual island the Technical Difficulties hail from. Great Britain is an island.

[@heddafh5766]

"To biscuit something" is my new favourite verb, no doubt. "I'm not biscuiting that".

[@hansolavtalg4560]

+

[@ailaG]

Go ahead and make it into any and every part of a sentence! Nouns, verbs, interjections... Biscuit! I just biscuitted that biscuity biscuit! Now, how in the biscuit's name can I do that biscuitly? Here's a challenge: Make a conjunction out of it.

[@KettuKakku]

@@ailaG I would, biscuit that's gonna be hard.

[@Infinite_Archive]

Biscuit- verb To reward someone for a highly entertaining or otherwise exceptional statement with something of little value.

[@harrietriddle2197]

It's a rare thing in France…

[@AlonMoiseyev]

In August 1990, an unemployed French nuclear physicist named André Gardes armed with a semi-automatic weapon attempted an invasion of Sark. The night Gardes arrived, he put up two posters declaring his intention to take over the island the following day at noon. The following day he started a solo foot patrol in front of the manor in battle-dress with weapon in hand. While Gardes was sitting on a bench waiting for noon to arrive, the island's volunteer connétable approached the Frenchman and complimented him on the quality of his weapon.[16] Gardes then proceeded to change the gun's magazine, at which point he was tackled to the ground, arrested, and given a seven-day sentence which he served in Guernsey.[16][17][18][19] Gardes attempted a comeback the following year, but was intercepted in Guernsey.

[@damientonkin]

Alon Moiseyev that’s kind of awesome.

[@gwenynorisu6883]

This is worth a CN episode by itself.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

I would Like the comment as I did a similar one above, but I cannot condone this plagiarism, no matter the honesty. :P

[@inkmaster5480]

I would like to point out that over 90% of all modern firearms are semi-automatic, so referring to it as such is a bit redundant. It would be more noteworthy if the weapon wasn't semi-automatic.

[@ChaimS]

@@inkmaster5480 Unless OP actually meant "fully automatic," but, not being a firearm owner, didn't realize that "semi automatic" is just another term for "normal."

[@joshuahadams]

Two years later and Tom has temporarily run a hovercraft pub.

[@StrokeMahEgo]

Funded by Matt's tax advice.

[@Becky_Cooling]

"THE HOVERPUB IS ALIVE!"

[@alorachan]

little over 2 years later, I still want The Technical Difficulties to play Sark. I would buy a flight and ferry to get there for it.

[@AdamFaulknerVideos]

I'll be honest, getting a team together, going to this obscure little island, and playing a proper football team, is the sort of stupid thing I definitely wouldn't put past them...

[@robertlinke2666]

yup

[@joshuahadams]

Well, they’ve matured a bit since the iron cooking and castle Morse code.

[@rannov.4707]

@@joshuahadams Castle Morse code? Do you have a link to that?

[@jameshyndes1443]

I'll be more than willing to manage the TechDif team against Sark. My qualifications include seven years of playing Football Manager. They don't include anything else, but it's a start, right?

[@TomScottGo]

You are literally more qualified than at least two, possibly three of us.

[@jameshyndes1443]

Probably more qualified than most of Sark too, by the sound of it

[@SlyPearTree]

Sorry, you're overqualified.

[@jackielinde7568]

I believe their stated goal was to be the first ever team to actually LOSE to Stark, so, yeah, those qualifications would work.

[@SuicideCroxy]

I once got sacked as Sark manager.. Will I fulfil the role?

[@VivienneGucwa]

Listening to this as an American is not only highly entertaining but feels like I am listening to facts about a fictional world...

[@CuleChick11]

Same. I find it refreshing to be reminded just how weird the world really is. Also, I've run out of DR Who and these lads are the next best thing.

[@NiraExecuto]

Look buddy, I'm from Europe, and I'm pretty sure the isles actually _are_ fictional.

[@NiraExecuto]

TeatherFilmLtd Productions Sure, that's what you _want_ us to think, isn't it? :P

[@NiraExecuto]

TeatherFilmLtd Productions Conspiracy theorist? Don't you find it suspicious that "Britain" starts with a "B", JUST LIKE "BIELEFELD"? WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

[@Jabber-ig3iw]

Caedo actually Britain starts with Great!😁

[@MisterAppleEsq]

Facing off against the Sark football is such a Tom Scott thing to do.

[@route2070]

Mister Apple "And here's a thing you might go have known...."

[@gwenynorisu6883]

Playing that type of football where all the players are in Zorb balls...

[@LilyRoseGames]

wait WHAT? @@gwenynorisu6883

[@esobelisk3110]

@@LilyRoseGames Tom has a video doing that

[@ThurstonCyclist]

Gary: "We're not from an island." I've got some great news for you about Great Britain.

[@gwishart]

I've got some news for you about England, it isn't an island.

[@Draco_-mk5zv]

@@Freexnme by that logic everything is just a big island

[@xander1052]

@@Freexnme its on an island, but it in of itself is not an island.

[@Armadeus]

*great* news :))

[@zyaicob]

@@Draco_-mk5zv yes.

[@Raketbaever]

i have no interest in football but i genuinely want to see that match

[@lawrencecalablaster568]

I am American and I have learned more about British history from this show than from any class.

[@sethrothz]

I'm British and I've learnt more

[@FamusJamus]

I'm a hovercraft and I've learnt that I'm very good at taxes.

[@SomeGuyWithAFace9]

it makes me sad that this isnt an exaggeration in the slightest

[@ihatemegatron216]

Same here

[@Xander-q2t]

same, russian

[@primozlah1731]

The best thing is that the Sark football team somehow didn't come last in the 2003 island games (when the mentioned matches were played). They came 16th out of 23 teams (with 5 of those teams tied in last place)

[@thanostheclub]

Gary's Archivist Mode is quite something, even by archivist standards.

[@jocax188723]

I'm genuinely mildly disappointed this soccer match (Technical Difficulties and Co. vs Sark) never managed to materialize.

[@toasterhavingabath6980]

fobal (football)

[@MattFowlerBTR]

Tom is no longer holding himself to a weekly schedule for his regular videos. Who knows what 2024 may bring.

[@electralumen165]

@techdif, please make this happen. It’d be so funny.

[@rskcy]

still waiting for it to happen

[@jocax188723]

They should get Tim from the Tim Traveler to referee. He has extensive experience watching teeny tiny territories duke it out on the football pitch.

[@infrabread]

12:20 I love how Matt couldn't be buggerd to do the maths so he said the full equation.

[@Hex...]

What a hidden gem to stumble onto! Been going through a couple of the citation needed eps again recently and this one is absolute gold

[@hakr14]

Tom, did you just describe a tangerine as "a bright orange thing"??

[@Skorpian657]

James Walls the color tangerine, not necessarily the fruit

[@TissueCat]

Playing against the Sark Football Team would be perfect for Tom Scott Plus actually

[@spectrafolium]

I actually thought for once I'd guessed the prize: a space-otter's space hopper.

[@heddafh5766]

Revising for my exam tomorrow will have to wait, citation needed is obviously more important.

[@rewrose2838]

Damn glad to know I'm not alone on this one~

[@wagyourtai1]

13:50 The rule of dibs is a time honored tradition ever since Julius Caesar wandered into Rome and said ‘dibs’.

[@kylebeardsley6200]

How did that work out for him?

[@ink7761]

@@kylebeardsley6200excellently for about 5 minutes

[@igorgylycheyev9294]

Is this from soviet womble? Also, Alexandria

[@TheOutZZ]

​@@igorgylycheyev9294 "When in Rome, bang Caligula."

[@Interference22]

A horsey uprising? Would that be a... Giddy-up-rising? I'll get my coat.

[@mickthomas8983]

[tips hat] Good work! :)

[@stumbling]

That was Matt Gray level. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

[@daanwilmer]

It's both.

[@sethrothz]

[sic] it's so bad it's good

[@gwenynorisu6883]

It's _The F***ing Worst_ ;-)

[@eye2eye899]

ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBERS! Tom, I am so glad for you. Congratulations on this, you have been making amazing content for me, and fellow viewers ever since I subscribed almost a year ago, and for long before that as well. I would just like to say thanks. Thank you for being you, and I’m glad you are seeing recognition for your dedication, and work.

[@lamothe87]

Flash forward to the hovercraft bar. Apparently Tom took Matt's tax advice.

[@Charlienmeg]

"We're not from an island ..." The British looking confusedly around at the large bodies of water that surround us.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

Look, its not like they have a navy or have ever had like the most powerful navy in the world; how are they to remember theyre surrounded by water?

[@LorenHelgeson]

"It's only an island if you look at it from the water."

[@andrewwebb917]

England is attached to Scotland. So England isn't an Island. If you count the entire British Isles - Sark is part of it.

[@bmobert]

I was about as depressed as I've ever been. Then I watched this and I'm OK again. Thanks, guys!

[@ezekielmartin4323]

How're you feeling these days, friend?

[@bmobert]

@Ezekiel Martin I think I'm OK but the reality is I can't tell. I'm not.very in touch with my emotions. Thank you, childhood trauma. But, thank you for asking How are you?

[@ezekielmartin4323]

@@bmobert I know the feeling all too well. I'm alright myself. Eating good, working hard, etc.

[@JustMozzi]

I am from St Helens, even though it is geographically accurate, describing St Helens as ‘near Wigan’ feels like the most offensive way to describe the towns location.

[@Halosty45]

I don't watch football, but if a particular match actually happens, I'd certainly be interested to watch over highlights... with commentary. Or just hear about it :P

[@drorbazer7531]

Woah I've just realised you've passed the 1M subs mark. You're growing fast Tom! Soon you will transcend the threshold of the mere mortals and unlock the power to enslave the minds of all of us internet plebeians and rule the observable universe right thereafter! I can't wait! Congratulations Tum!

[@WouterWeggelaar]

Awesome to see me back in the audience, shouting " Oh Yeah" during mystery biscuits!

[@briangarrow448]

Didn't a rather bad movie get released about Sark? I believe the title was "Sarknado". Just saying...

[@Flatrocker512]

Matt Gray... is that you?

[@nerdytech7287]

oh god.

[@gwenynorisu6883]

Twister that lasted for two minutes, did £50,000 worth of improvements.

[@georgelloydgonzalez]

6:40 I like how Tom didn't hesitate to take his friends on a hovercraft ride, that's really sweet of him

[@gavinkemp7920]

i'm disappointed, they didn't go over the invasion attempt

[@JustOneAsbesto]

Gary "We're not from an island" Brannan. I love it.

[@tpixl]

Re-watching a few Citation Needed episodes every 5 years or so seems about right !

[@SylviaRustyFae]

i rewatch them all constantly heh. Ive got echolalia for tons of lines from how often i watch this same show xD I actually nowadays use it to help me fall aslp bcuz the familiarity means i can pay less attention as i drift off to sleep

[@ladymacbeth260]

How is matt so flipping adorkable.

[@Qsie]

Hey Tom, just as a person who edits videos, what was with the gain issues on this video?

[@TomScottGo]

You should have seen it before the colour grade! Rest assured that next week's episode was filmed in a different recording session, and will have completely different problems.

[@droam129]

"and will have completely different problems" hahaha! Wasn't expecting that...

[@Legoluke654]

I hope next weeks videos are better. Sorry to say but, it's pretty hard for me to watch these two videos from this season, as I notice all the issues... Previous seasons have been fine. The grain issues and Matt being out of focus, and the compression as KZbin has lowered their bitrate... it's unfortunate. Also because you're cropping into the 4k 2 shots it's more apparent. I wonder if just leaving it ungraded would have been better. Like last season where it just feels like ungraded Slog2. All your recent videos since September seem to have more compression artifacts for some reason. Any idea why that is? I love all your content btw. Amazing, thought provoking and fascinating videos. Keep doing what you're doing!

[@metropod]

Different problems..? Are they... Panthers?

[@Jothamvvw]

I guess you could say it was a Technical Difficulty!

[@Lepong20]

It's 3:03 am and I'm meant to be going to my sisters wedding tomorrow But who needs sleep? Not me, I need CITATION NEEDED

[@alyxburke]

Lepong20 bad grammar "you need citation"

[@IAmBrownThunderOfficial]

4 months old but still... how’d the wedding go?

[@panda4247]

@@IAmBrownThunderOfficial another 7 months later, but still .... who cares, the episode was great

[@drlogiq1494]

"I have been Tom Scott, cya next time!" *Tom Scott stops being Tom Scott after the show* :D

[@oz_jones]

Dr Logiq has been. Still is, but has been too.

[@adalaza]

Panthers?

[@timothymeyer3210]

oh, no

[@stumbling]

You can't do that when he's not here. haha

[@hjbbjnhkmhvjbkm]

Instantly panics and whips out Zis-3 cannon

[@keda1981]

RELEASE THE COBRAS.

[@toogaytofunction3029]

Hovercraft.

[@danellyatt9842]

I've been to Sark, really nice island

[@Fulmir-]

If the trampoline is the orange thing wouldn't it be a "Wolverine Quarantine Tangerine Trampoline"?

[@panda4247]

no, tangerine is the colour or the thing that is described by the other words.

[@Rishnai]

Someday TechDif is going to upload a video that starts with “So we got an email from Sark…”

[@kayleighlehrman9566]

Gary's gotten a lot tamer in his reaction to winning

[@hotelmario510]

What 3 years does to a mf

[@chubsdubs8395]

Never thought I’d ever see a KZbin video mentioning the Channel Islands, as someone from there it’s heartwarming.

[@Armadeus]

that trampoline would really come in handy now wouldnt it

[@robertferguson3023]

Also - the Policeman on Tiree (lovely chap) - once he's driven past one of the two pubs, the phones start going to let people know it's safe to leave the pub.

[@skthejanner]

As a Sunday league manager all I'm thinking about is tactics, like sticking Tom on the wing cos he's quite slight and calling Tim J in to play up top cos he'd win headers

[@honzagrossmann2977]

I would pay good money to see that football match

[@tomchaney6085]

So we've got Matt and Tom, is there a Chris and Gary spinoff I'm unaware of? If not, why?

[@Andrew-zm8gh]

Chris doesn't do this social media nonsense

[@SemiZeroGravity]

Gary has Twitter and does some pretty funny tweets but nothing like what he is able to to in citation needed

[@gwenynorisu6883]

They don't work in sufficiently closely related fields, I would expect. Whereas Tom and Matt may cross paths more often because they have similar-ish jobs and use those skills to collab on side projects... e.g. Matt is often (though not always) Tom's cameraman when he's not using some kind of selfie stick or tripod.

[@friedmaniac]

Damn! I've been binge-watching this series for the past few days and just accidentally got up-to-date! Now what am I going to do with my time?

[@rmsnwbrdr]

On the Isle of Sark, what do they call a really steep-walled canyon? A Sark-Chasm! (courtesy of my teenage son)

[@Zero-ks3pc]

I love getting more of these videos, but a part of me misses the more intimate house setting :p I’m sure it is great to have an audience to interact with :)

[@Zevonfan524]

I love that Tom actually went & rented a hovercraft for them all to have a go on after this.

[@marktownsend2384]

I can't believe you're going for a hovercraft when you could go full Ekranoplan! Always go full Ekranoplan!

[@st0rmforce]

These are words I've always lived my life by

[@dfwolves6522]

I'm still looking forward to seeing the Peasholm Park Pirates losing to the Sark Football Team

[@mirjanbouma]

We all are, friend. We all are.

[@iggyvolz]

PLEASE arrange a match with Sark, that would be amazing!!!

[@LostieTrekieTechie]

This might just be my favorite episode of this series. It's either this or the Stevens Island Wren.

[@cemace90]

2 years later: Pub on a hover craft.

[@cemace90]

Tom keeps his word.

[@sethrothz]

"You're not getting a point when I gave you the title" Because that has never happened before, Tom...

[@AlRoderick]

So who fills out the eleven? If I'm filling the roster from Tom's known sphere of associates: Tom, Gary, Chris, Matt obvs, then Will Seaward, James Grime, Matt Parker, Jay Foreman, 90's Tim, Sean from Computerhile, and Colin Furze. That's assuming we're sticking to all men per FIFA rules.

[@wierdalien1]

Alexander Roderick thats be great

[@daanwilmer]

TomSka maybe? Or Sammy Paul?

[@SemiZeroGravity]

Jay appears with his guitar to sing about the match

[@notthatcreativewithnames]

We can add Geoff Marshall as well(?)

[@wierdalien1]

Pongsathon Boonrod yes. I second thism

[@ShogunScarey]

When is the match?

[@TachEdits]

The hovercraft ride dream has been realized!

[@DanTheCaptain]

I'd love to see an actually fully organized game between Sark and The Technical Difficulties crew. Also make it a live stream too!

[@theChoffa]

"we're not from an island, that's the only problem". Looked at a map recently Gary..? 🙃

[@Lord_Skeptic]

He was talking about England

[@francesgardner7070]

gary's prize hits differently now :(

[@tanithrosenbaum]

I know right? I just thought the same

[@eclipseshetheyneos588]

It doesn't hit we need to socal distens so we can't hit

[@scootergrant8683]

Garry would probably want his gift today given COVID.

[@andrewreynolds4949]

I really want to see Tom and the gang play the Sark football team

[@0utOfSkill]

These madlads actually rode a hovercraft

[@tibsie]

I'm still waiting for this football match to take place. Come on Tom, get it sorted!!

[@notoriusc]

This is one of the few shows on KZbin that will genuinely make me laugh great job you guys! 😂 also I actually knew about Sark.

[@romulusnr]

The "Sark Papers" is a magazine called Sark Life and I used to subscribe for a lark.

[@MuchWhittering]

I have no interest in football, but Tom must surely know enough other KZbinrs who'd be up for this.

[@Kraigon42]

I'm not sure why, but I loved how much Matt kept going back to the hovercraft.

[@violagreene4643]

"We're not from an island." Ummm... Gary... I've got news about Britain for you...

[@route2070]

Gary, "Here's the problem we don't live on an island." Me, " You live in the U.K., your country is an island."

[@varana]

Still, he lives on an island. Also, "we're not an island! We're an island and a fifth of another one (plus loads of even smaller ones)!" is not a very convincing rebuttal, even if it's technically true. :D

[@route2070]

Sorry, he lives on the island of Great Britain. Also I guess you could say the American Continent is an island as well as the Eurocansia continent is also an island, but in that same vein North America, South America, Africa, and AsiA would then all be peninsulas.

[@notthatcreativewithnames]

England is geographically not on *an* island, though, because England also includes the Isle of Wight and several more islands. Nor did Scotland. Nor did Wales.

[@gwenynorisu6883]

Clarification: They don't live on a dinky little island that only has one, non-wholly-professional football team representing them.

[@teipeu9033]

Josh Keating I prefer Afro-Eurasia.

[@francesgardner7070]

Gary at 14:12 - “We’re not from a island” What do you consider Great Britain if not an island?

[@ezekielmartin4323]

The trouble there is, England isn't an island (it's part of an island), and Great Britain isn't an island (it's _several_ islands). Hard to find a middle ground where they're from exactly one island.

[@grandmabutters8502]

I just found out Gary Brannon is an archivist while doing research into becoming an archivist and decided to rewatch this series

[@Herrisx]

How did you not ask them about the french nuclear physicist who tried to invade the island single handedly using a semi-automatic rifle?!

[@joeturner1597]

I could probably lead the pissed supporters section who get lost and/or arrested on route and finish up in some random pub. I have absolutely no experience. Apart from being pissed, lost, arrested (mistaken identity) and landing up in some random pub. The best one as I recall was in Liverpool and some chap was playing a piano. I think we were trying to get to Hull.

[@HackThePlanetNow]

I would pay money to see you guys play Sark

[@Rathmun]

Re-watching in 2020, the joke at the end has a rather different flavor now. I could use a quarantine trampoline.

[@TimmyMohawk]

One of the best episodes. There better be a video of the forth coming football match.

[@eilidhxxx9115]

Coll is a great island . You can drive without a driving license alone there

[@macronencer]

This football match MUST HAPPEN!

[@louiskohnke2343]

Now I really want you to go to Sark and play football

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

And the best thing about making a Sark hovercraft service is that on the hovercraft you can sell alcohol without license. As long as it's moving.

[@shivtekoriginal]

Exactly what I needed after a pure maths lecture, more learning.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

I'm surprised Sark hasn't played against the Vatican yet. Also a rather small population and some of their most remarkable matches was 4-21 against Monchengladbach from Germany and 1-9 against Palestine. Oh and they won 9-1 against the police of Rome. Besides that they also played 2-2 against the roman province of Raetia (who lost to the uninhabited Chagos archipelago 1-6)

[@themusicmoonkey]

Listening to this as a Yorkshirewoman who now lives in Jersey - this is amazing!

[@moan3564]

Just 2 minutes in, and I'm dying with laughter already. I have missed you Citation Needed.

[@umgubularslashkilter9272]

Matt made it sound like Tom has a hovercraft and hasn't let him have a go on it

[@SmokeyEdits]

That quarantine trampoline prize must really be coming in handy.

[@zhangalex734]

Now in light of the Covid-19 pandemic, I would really love a tangerine wolverine quarantine trampoline cus it is getting seriously boring in here.

[@tuktukhistories2048]

What is the “Tax Haven” song? I’ve searched for it and found nothing?

[@benjamingotto5977]

It's to the tune of "Moon River"

[@thedreadpirateroberts3435]

this has got to be my favorite thin on the internet. keep it up