The Scientific Reason The ‘Honeymoon Phase’ Goes Away

[@Wolf350]

True love is less about feelings and more about helping each other when times get tough.

[@jason_v12345]

115 upvotes? LOL His statement literally makes no sense. The expression he's thinking of is, "Love isn't a feeling; it's a choice." It refers to commitment to stay together even as passion fades, not "helping each other when times get tough." LOL

[@purplelove010]

How about both?

[@Steven-wv3qm]

I feel like a lot of people get lust and love confused.

[@lisazoria2709]

^ THIS

[@Tdisputations]

As well as infatuation and love.

[@ThatShyGuyMatt]

I find most peoples super honeymoon love wears off to because at first your obsessed with each other, having lots of sex.... but once you settle into things. Life kicks back in and you focus on normals thing again so your love goes down a bit. Just as for some the sex slows down. For me getting married, everything was great, sex was awesome...etc. But after about a year of being married the bills, work...etc of everyday life remind you love is wonderful, but life goes on. You still love each other of course, but you know your together and focus less on the crazy stuff. Which is why its IMPORTANT that after the phase wears off, you still talk, make time for each other...etc so the love doesn't totally go away. Or else you setup yourself up for a split, cheating...etc.

[@ForzaTerra89]

How intense were you guys in the beginning and for how long?

[@wbabe2012]

Best advice I’ve heard this far except you’re*

[@ForzaTerra89]

That intense obsessive early start has made me feel so out of control and really like there was something wrong with me and this has made me feel so much more normal. My feelings weren’t returned to close to the same intensity and I felt all the things he described. It became abusive in the end and I left but it’s been incredibly hard, I 100% can see why people stay in abusive relationships because of these tricks your brain places on you. I’m happy to see this because it’s made me feel normal, he just said I was needy/clingy because I felt I was obsessive even though I would never try and force him to spend time with me. Love is blind, or at least this early stage is

[@pinkyring1587]

Pretty simple, youve known and loved them for longer. Just like a new thing, the longer you have it the less excited etc.

[@Einar979]

well.. when you get a new thing, you usually love it for a few weeks, then after maybe 2 years you throw it in the trash and get a new 1..

[@jjc5475]

TheMainnj exept if its really good quality and you use it everyday.

[@CatWoman6]

pinky ring yeah you need to have fresh eyes to keep the attraction alive I feel.

[@alexsfc]

Lol the Eminem line in the start, I was eating and I almost choked

[@imthehaacker1816]

Alex415 Sf same

[@Cokehead124]

Was it spaghetti

[@slamongo]

Is Eminem and M&M the same rapper?

[@Maino88]

Did you have vomit on your sweater Alex?

[@wulantsabita9843]

+Mango ikrr

[@jackpullen3820]

" IN LOVE " is based on feelings and feelings always change over time. To choose to Love is the better and lasting way, also you will find over time you will fall in love again with that same person many times. " Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies...", so we find love is a choice of free will. Brain chemistry changes all the time and in times you can not depend on it you just have to use your will power!

[@HOLLYWOOD-ww1dm]

well said maman

[@kanal7454]

Look, if you had mom's spaghetti Would you capture it, or just let it slip? Yo His palm's spaghetti, knees weak, arm's spaghetti There's vomit on his sweater spaghetti: mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti to drop bombs But he keeps on spaghetti what he wrote down The whole crowd goes spaghetti He opens his mouth, but spaghetti won't come out He's choking, how? Everybody's joking, now Spaghetti's run out, time's up, over - Blaow! Snap back to spaghetti, oh! - there goes spaghetti Oh! - there goes spaghetti - Blaow! He's so mad, but he won't give up spaghetti No, he won't have it He knows he keeps on forgetting that Mom's spaghetti's dope He knows that, but he's broke He's so stagnant, he knows When he goes back to his mom's spaghetti, that's when it's Back to the lab again, yo This whole spaghetti Better go capture spaghetti and hope it don't pass him You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti It's ready You better never let it go (go) You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo The soul's escaping through this hole that is gaping Mom's spaghetti's mine for the taking Make me spaghetti as we move toward a new world order A normal sweater is boring, but mom's spaghetti is close to post-mortem It only grows harder, spaghetti grows hotter He vomits all over. Spaghetti's all on him Coast to coast shows, he blows his own daughter He only grows harder, homie grows hotter He goes home and barely knows his own mom's spaghetti There's vomit on his mom's spaghetti These hoes don't want him no more, he's cold spaghetti They moved on to the next schmoe who flows Man, he knows his palms are sweaty, oh! He's calm, and ready, oh! - It unfolds I suppose it's old spaghetti, chewed up and spit out He's choking, now No more games, Imma change what you call spaghetti Tear this motherfucking roof off like two mom's spaghettis I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed Spaghetti chewed up and spit out and there's vomit on his sweater But I kept chewin' and stepped right in the next cypher Hold your nose cause here goes the damn diaper All the vomit inside amplified by the fact That I keep on forgetting to make spaghetti And provide the right type of spaghetti for my family Cause man, these God-damn food stamps don't buy spaghetti And there's no movie, there's no mom's spaghetti. This is my life And these palms are so sweaty, and I'm so hard My seed's escaping through this hole that is gaping Caught up with being a father and a prima donna Baby vomit on his sweater already: mom's spaghetti He's too nervous - Blaow! Another day of monotony Has gotten me to the point I'm like a mom I've got to formulate spaghetti or end up in jail or shot Spaghetti is my only motherfucking option, vomit's not Mom, I love you, but this vomit's got to go Oh! Oh! Da da dum-da-dum, sa da dum-da-dum So here I go, it's my shot This may be the only mom's spaghetti that I got

[@botenanna2777]

Best song ever

[@ShenoyKitchen]

u can be a great rapper

[@frozeneternity93]

You got talent kid. Bet you could go the whole 8 miles and become the next Eminem with a song like that

[@Yes-df3xx]

Wtf did I just read xD

[@thomasglover3834]

Ett Flygande Träd och En Gurka hahahaha

[@Saimeren]

What if I don't really get out of that honeymoon stage? I think that's why I'm still single. My partners all loose that feeling, but I don't, and they end up leaving because of it.

[@ryleeroo]

Saimeren that's always what happens to me too. I never thought anyone else felt that way, nice to know I'm not so alone, haha.

[@Saimeren]

Yes.. I get that. What I'm saying is that when I date someone I don't generally end up getting out of that honeymoon stage. I have those passionate feelings for them throughout the entire relationship. Every time I look at them, I get awe struck, whenever I get kissed I get butterflies in my stomach, and my heart starts racing. I don't get into relationships often, because I often find that the people I date don't live up to my expectations (there are people who do, don't think that I'm too shallow) so when I find the right person that I feel that I want to date, I have very strong positive emotions toward them, and they seem to last. Where the other person will get out of that stage sooner or later.

[@mannybobby7838]

Saimeren the PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST. SO you end up thinking that your PARTNER IS PERFECT (AND THERE'S NO ONE LIKE THEM IN THE WORLD), WHEN THEY CLEARLY DON'T THINK THE SAME OF YOU..... you make them Irreplaceable in your MIND. As oppose to THEY not caring so much as you. This doesn't have anything to do with them going through "phases". The problem is entirely in your END. Try to be less PERFECTIONIST and loosen up a little, give people who MAY NOT SEEM SO PERFECT a chance or if you can't lower your standards being alone is not soooo bad...

[@neverglitch4485]

Omfg same, been with my gf for 10 months now, she fell out of that phase. I, however haven't and I feel like this is why a lot of my past relationships have ended. Everyother time I never really noticed that I was still way too clingy and needy to the person, but this time I manage to be able to maintain myself. I'm still needy af for my gf, and it's been very difficult for me to maintain myself, I want to talk to her about it but a big part of me feels like I'm just over reacting, and need to see that being in a long relationship doesn't always have to be about showing that you love the other person.

[@iambeloved496]

@@neverglitch4485 may I ask your age area? Don't have to tell me exactly but the age and maturity of the girl can make a huge difference

[@kaciekk]

I've never fallen "in love". that's okay. I have friends, that's all I need.

[@solaireofastora3]

kaciekk same

[@kaciekk]

Also Asexual *****

[@carlyw1727]

That's great!

[@MattHamiltonFilms]

kaciekk once you fall in love, you won't be able to live without it

[@genuinepenguinproductions4547]

Carly W I've never fallen in love because nobody would ever love me

[@Master_Therion]

Last year I was dating a KZbinr and thought I was falling in love. But she told me "it's just a Phase, bro."

[@MistarZtv]

i hate it when guys say that, I should know better.

[@gangstashanksta]

Here, have some dope-I mean spaghetti.

[@Master_Therion]

***** Woah, calm down there Liam Neeson, no one needs to die. "It's just a prank, bro."

[@DarkKnight-uz3os]

God, I thought love was the only thing my heart can feel, but the fucking brain has all the fun

[@davidsims5796]

Wonderful advice, i have a friend who has been separated for 11 months but a month later, she got with some Venezuelan boy, then they messed around and had a one night stand, and had a baby, then they got married 3 weeks ago, now she doesn't even know this guy from a can of paint. Now, they are living that "Rebound Honeymoon Life" .

[@owensquelch449]

your so good you made your whole crowd go so lowed and when you opened your mouth the words did come out

[@briefmoments6008]

In the begining of me and my husband relationship he was all over me, then after two years passed he gradually stopped giving me the attention that he once gave me, til this day I will never find out if he fell out of love with me or into something new.

[@Chezzzzy]

Have a child he will be how he was before (if ur ready)

[@briefmoments6008]

@@Chezzzzy we have kids

[@MrZAP17]

Is there a way to cut out the honeymoon way of thinking before getting together for awhile? I don't want infatuation to impede my judgment and think compatibility exists when it doesn't. No time for that.

[@elliewill5097]

Mr. ZAP you can't stop love buddy, it's all or nothing

[@MrZAP17]

Keira Williams Infatuation =/= love.

[@rhcrcgvp]

Instead of trying to find someone who makes you happy (which is selfish because their happiness is often a lower priority), search for someone who is happy being with you. And be the kind of person whose happiness comes from making other people happy.

[@Franklin_Araujo]

that is my moto.

[@sinktinky]

Mr. ZAP I honestly cant agree with you more. I never want to be like " Well...he beats me but thats okay becuase i love him". When i tell people i never want to fall "head over heels in love" or "lose my head" they day im a sociopath or im just a pessimistic. Thanks other 13 yr old girls!

[@bstrdd95]

heeey man this is actually really heplful right now, thanks!

[@JAYDUBYAH29]

.....and you just summarized a Helen Fisher TED talk from around 7 years ago.

[@photosinensis]

No wonder I have issues with infatuation. I already have issues with low serotonin and high cortisol. That makes me prone to obsession anyway (usually it takes the form of being obsessed with facts or stories--things that are genuinely harmless). And when I suffer through infatuation, well, it's a disaster that almost invariably leads to a major depressive episode.

[@torilee6677]

I hear this. Depression and anxiety really complicate romance.

[@Chris-eo1bp]

damaged women lol

[@winnielovestrash2221]

Cras gomez shut up

[@yadiel1231]

photosinensis sigh

[@Metalshark100]

"you tell her you can cook but you can only make spaghetti" hahahaha that was awesome! love the reference XD

[@MoltenScience]

if u love fire

[@djangogaming6546]

good channel for once

[@notapotato_]

If I can cook spaghetti, I can still cook 😭😭

[@95TurboSol]

hedonic adaptation fellas, the expiration date for fall in love feelings is 6 months to 2 years, this is the point where you add something new and amazing to your base assumptions about reality, this applies not only to the fall in love crazy feelings but also to the happiness you feel when winning the lottery, getting your dream car or house, anything. You would think winning 200 million dollars would make you a happier person but it dies off by the 2 year mark and reported happiness levels are the same as before winning. Evolution has us in a hamster wheel yo! It does keep us going though lol

[@hugoman98]

moms spaghetti

[@sanchirkh6019]

never forgetti

[@extrof]

Goat T Nice!

[@Serralas]

Thumbs up for the video. .. and the Eminem reference.

[@dreamingflurry2729]

LAT - my answer to keeping the spark alive! No daily grind in the relationship, no wearing each other down by constant fighting about who does the cooking or who's taking out the trash etc. (also: No fighting about money because everybody has to pay his/her own bills and no fighting about how to spend the rest of the money (the disposable income!) either!) If you spend time with each other: No bullshit, no interruptions (unless it's an emergency) etc. - you'll get ready like for a date during the courting phase etc... I mean this living close together BS is a recent thing (at least for reasonably wealthy people and especially for the rich and for nobles!), ages ago husband and wife had their own wing of the mansion or even their own house altogether (so why not do it like the rich if you can? It seems to work quite well!)

[@stevevondoom4140]

the "skip ad"button no longer works?? and now just says"video will play after ad" why are they getting a over-ride to the skip ad button?? kinda unfair...

[@cometleijon964]

Steve Von Doom lots of people get that...

[@cometleijon964]

Steve Von Doom not just this channel

[@williambernholm6024]

That intro doe!!!! Thanks for the scinence!!!

[@stellarsearcher8997]

Love is like the stars. The bigger ones burn bright and hot but die quickly and intensely. I want a love like our sun. Warm, life giving, and long-lasting.

[@ypsawbones3646]

our sun has a medium range life span (10 billion years) it would be much better to say a red dwarf (1 trillion years)

[@HortonScoutHD]

Gonna guess before-hand that it's because rapidly fleeting hormones are involved with our initial love towards a potential partner.

[@HortonScoutHD]

Aha, told ya. Neuroscience wunohwun baybee. And that's where my knowledge ends.

[@lightsidemaster]

Wait wait wait wait wait.... We deserve information that goes a little deeper. It's been proven that Oxytocin is one of the main reasons why pairs who've been together for a long time, remain together and are happy together. There's a phase some time into the relationship where the Dopamin levels sink ( AFAIK ) and that's the time when pairs are most likely to split. But when they make it past that they should come into a phase of increased Oxytocin levels so they'll be happier together. Right? And is it true that only sex increases Oxytocin levels? What about couples who are so old that they're not even having sex anymore, but they're still happy together. How do you explain that?

[@HeythemMD]

I never fell head-over-heels over anyone...

[@livedreamsg]

Lmfao. Loved that Lose Yourself reference!

[@zfee5405]

This is very comforting to know

[@Kenuptn]

im losing my love with thelegend27

[@djy140]

That Slim Shady reference was priceless

[@jeremywrentzel]

But stop LYING during the honeymoon phase! You know who you are and what you like, don't pretend to be someone your not. None of these chemicals make you lie

[@artagious5142]

I wish I could feel love but can't because I'm a psychopath.

[@thebigcapitalism9826]

Fucking edgy dude

[@livedreamsg]

Cat 54 Psychopaths aren't inherently evil.

[@alexandertheamerican9663]

Artagious well your not missing much

[@byranotieno]

Long term love and intense romance

[@butterballburgess3829]

Long term love hands down!

[@amarbhujbal]

02:44 i like how the old couple is black and the young couple is NOT BLACK..

[@maherzad]

What does that have to do with anything? They just found 2 pictures of a young couple and an old couple. No racism or anything going on here

[@amarbhujbal]

Kengf i dunno about that.. for me it was just an observation i made.

[@ganderstein3426]

You're observing propaganda. DNews is rife with propaganda.

[@amarbhujbal]

***** well, thank you i guess

[@hanninhahfp]

Nice video, good narration! Thanks, Julian!

[@QuantumSnper]

That beginning made my day

[@huh4963]

Still in the phase.....2 years later.

[@TheOverThinker92]

at 0.20 he just read Eminem's Lose yourself song, "palms sweating, knees weak arms are heavy."

[@livedreamsg]

Mr.Br.Mohammed Yahye That's the point. It's a reference.

[@SpeedSlowVideos]

Can't stop looking at the ears...

[@NotonlyWood]

theres no further research needed ?!

[@MHMecklin]

Long term of course. If it doesn’t last long then it’s not real and they aren’t serious. There’s not much point to it other then the experience. I mean people can obviously still be friends afterwards but the chances of getting a meaningful relationship from that person after the break up isn’t exactly high.

[@marytereolivencia3119]

i find the music playing in the background annoying, but the segment was interesting.

[@AdamasOldblade]

So my theory on humanity is still insanely right... "We're really good... at a distance." Personally I'm anti-relationships, and before a single flame comment happens, no I'm not a dude in his mother's basement... I just don't see the point in them for happiness, and honestly videos like these only add to my understanding as to the chemical reasoning for why in the hell humans ever look at another human and say, "you're good, get in the car!"

[@ypsawbones3646]

well we need to survive as a species thats why all of the crazy stuff with our neurotransmitters no offence but we need relationships for obvious reasons

[@fieryelf]

I've never been in love........ I have no idea what this video is talking about.......

[@zigmasj6572]

relatable

[@slickerius]

Yes lol I know about the brains and hormone stuff but this love phase shit I have no idea about

[@bland9876]

fieryelf good thing about being in love you'll be happy all the time bad thing you wast 6 hours just sitting at home thinking about her (and starving)

[@briefmoments6008]

What's the point of falling in love if the newness only last a certain period of time

[@solaireofastora3]

i don't know what love feels like :( just a couple friends

[@s00uz]

Good episode:) Its important to see older couples happy and still content in each others'company. May we learn from them and do the same in future generations.

[@MrJayPuff]

I go to Stony Brook. I have to find that researcher who did this and ask them about it

[@joerivera8451]

I see u be dropping bars!!!:O

[@tennicktenstyl]

I prefer long term intense romance cuz why not.

[@peshinski]

good stuff ed the red

[@geoffreywinn4031]

Cool video!

[@lemongrenade6135]

I'm an alien so I don't know understand the concept of love.

[@RadarHawk]

The Entity Understand. Understand. Understand. Understand the concept of love.

[@MRblazedBEANS]

WE can teach you, love is in all of us if you let him in your heart! Have you herd of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

[@tyler69]

Christian Terrill stfu your religion is just as bad as hell if it was real

[@lemongrenade6135]

Christian Terrill I also don't understand the concept of religion. In fact, I don't understand most of human emotions or the way they act.

[@mannybobby7838]

The Entity you must be a robot or alien robot then. Are you sure you are organic?

[@TheWerelf]

i love my northstar, we are thinking of going to angel city on our honeymoon trip

[@blakemwest]

HAHA knees weak, arms are heavy! YOU LEGEND!

[@hirmuli7022]

forever alone

[@NiX_aKi]

Now you're Eminem. You're hilarious man. Are you doing an experiment? 😆

[@allhailsunshine052]

It can last even up to two years!!

[@Objection202]

Is sex instrumental in a relationship? In my first relationship I felt discontent with the relationship due to the lack of sex, and when I brought this to my partners attention we got in a fight that ultimately lead to the end of the relationship. What are your opinions?

[@Chris-eo1bp]

because after you tied the knot with a female she starts showing her true colors.

[@bland9876]

I work at a place and all the fun/hot people there left so I was board and decided to talk to a girl who was not as hot as I would normally talk to and now I can't stop thinking about her even feeling sad if she dose not show up on time (she's always about 15 min late so on time is actually 15 min late) I actual enjoy talking to her more than I did the hot girls I would talk to before (opposite don't attract when mating)

[@CUM2america]

Lol love the Eminem reference in the beginning 😂

[@somemaycallthisjunkmeicall133]

Palms get sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, moms sphaghetti never forgetti

[@00asaenz]

What is luv?

[@TheLolle97]

I already hit like after 0:24. I am simple.

[@tinyhuong2152]

I'm greedy. I don't want to choose. I want a romantic long-term relationship. :))

[@steveowalk]

So I'm needy bc my serotonin levels are low. I'm slightly depressed bc my serotonin levels are low, which make me needy, starting the cycle all over again... interesting

[@MasterVycen]

Jules is a writing god.

[@ayorkii]

So I just saw this guy and I think I just fell head over heels in love.....wow. Julian....if you're even remotely bi in any way...give me a call...

[@joealberta7930]

Mom's spaghetti

[@MitchellPozar]

The best part about the video

[@lightbluehaze]

Different but just as much in love meh 50% of the time

[@bleachy4947]

lol I saw a Kay Jewlers Commercial before this

[@3Runner95]

Some say that he is still looking for that first love

[@Truf-teller]

Never forgetti

[@dhaneshkothari]

+DNews please make a video on first love

[@rojman123]

Now I need a scientific reason why I've never fallen in love!

[@Akira0Your0Fan]

rojman123 I've only felt in love once in my life and I'm still dating him. I legit never felt romantic attraction to anyone before i met my current partner. Maybe you just haven't found the one yet.

[@Justgoodvids]

Link to the t-shirt?

[@Kentworlds]

thank you

[@luvyou-baby]

damn that was a great video- i now understand why i was acting that way... i thought it was just me

[@EvolvedNova]

I always thought of it as the cupcake phase

[@Julianf.216]

Julian busting that Eminem rap!

[@drkdrk3296]

Honeymoon is just an excuse to go on a forced or vacation of your choice after the long ordeal n preparations for the marriage…. But its a waste of time and money totally.. its better to give that money to 10 needy families so that they can make a living…. Honeymoon can be celebrated at home as well … what couples do in a hotel room an do in their own room after marriage…. Discuss, love, argue, eat, and anything and everything.

[@ShenoyKitchen]

lose yourself in love

[@ex-nerd]

I've been reading too much about type 1 diabetes. "The honeymoon phase" has a completely different meaning when you're talking about a pancreas and insulin.

[@voorman534]

The memes are strong with this one!

[@pxjesse8128]

HAHAHA Laughed so hard at the Eminem bars at the beginning xD

[@vitamindubya]

The Koreans have a different word for that post honeymoon phase love

[@MRblazedBEANS]

which is?

[@oscarlucky123]

Happy ending...

[@vitamindubya]

Jung

[@vitamindubya]

Jung or 정

[@mannybobby7838]

k drama ;) Anyway I wished Westerners had that concept because they believe the opposite after the honeymoon phase and are always changing partners just to keep EXPERIENCING it again and again...

[@jovan1220]

Long term for sure!!

[@RubberJunk1]

It means its time to move on to greener pastures.

[@SerpentineDeity]

God those glasses magnify your eyes to frog levels.

[@juliena4808]

Julian with the Eminem reference, Nice.

[@somebodyekkee]

The 5 people who disliked this video are dead inside

[@gibbyace5077]

i tought he said oxycodain