The Secret to Success & Happiness Nobody Talks About

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Ready to know the secret to success and genuine happiness?
You won’t find it where you’ve been looking.
You will find it in today’s episode. Learn two simple yet profound ways to start feeling real happiness so that your life becomes the success you want it to be.
In this episode, you’ll also learn:
- The single biggest barrier to being happier.
- One important requirement for happiness.
- An accurate definition for real happiness. (It’s not what you think!)
- 2 ways of thinking that will make it easier to feel calm and more resilient.
- 3 ways you’ve been actively fighting happiness in your life.
- An innovative way to think about your mindset.
- One thing you can start doing today that will reveal surprising insights.
- What to do when your life feels like one big complaint.
Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: bit.ly/49bg4GP
This episode comes with a 29-page companion workbook. This workbook is designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and empower you to take the next step forward in your life. And the cool part? It takes less than a minute for you to get your hands on it.
Just sign up at www.melrobbins...
I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
In this episode:
3:25: the single biggest barrier to your happiness
6:05: The one profound requirement for happiness.
7:40: What it really means to be genuinely happy.
9:25: What the eye of a hurricane has to do with your happiness.
13:30: Are you doing this to cope day to day, too?
18:00: What Mel’s good friend said that was like a slap in the face.
20:30: You are actively fighting against happiness, so do this instead.
23:00: A visual to help you see if you’re letting happiness in or closing it out.
34:50: A new way to think about mindset.
39:40: 2 simple yet profound ways to practice accessing happiness today.
43:00: One tactical activity that will reveal surprising insights.
48:16: Do this instead of complaining and your life will change.
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[@traysjourneysouthflorida2265]

I’ve found this peace. Not perfection. I actually had a rare medical diagnosis from the clenching all my life. Whacky news when I heard it. I could write a whole bunch but I just want to say thanks Mel. Been following you for years before the tv show and you’ve just changed so many lives with your podcast. You’re so freaking real and vulnerable. A sassy gem. Thanks to you and your team.

[@OsirisNin]

"Perfection belongs to the gods; completeness or wholeness is the most a human being can hope for." - Marion Woodman

[@Misty-fx5up]

Really like what you say,but your swear words drive me away

[@JovalindaMagallon]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@JovalindaMagallon]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@JovalindaMagallon]

OMG I needed to hear this today❤

[@Smashley529]

This episode hit home! I cried when listening to this. I have been so stuck and miserable in my life for such a long time. Always focusing on the negative and what is going wrong, not realizing that I am the one that needs to change it. Thank you so much! I am literally at my breaking point from constant misery and atleast now I know what to focus on to make change occur. Your show is amazing ❤❤

[@MandyJRoss]

You're allowed to be happy. You deserve to be happy. You are worthy of joy. You are pure light. Therefore your natural state is a happy one. Being open to recieve more joy starts in the micro moments. Celebrating the little wins. Smiling just because. Focusing on the good that already exists. There is always a reason to feel grateful and feel happy. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder.❤

[@quickcinemarecap]

00:03 Realizing that the biggest barrier to happiness is oneself. 02:04 Working earnestly to become happier over three years 06:49 Happiness comes from within, not from external achievements. 09:04 Life can feel like a gigantic storm of chaos. 13:52 Struggling to find happiness despite financial stability 15:50 Happiness comes from within 19:59 Drop the sword to allow happiness in. 22:21 Overcoming fear to allow happiness 26:33 Blocking happiness and not being present robs us of precious moments 28:31 Happiness is an inside job, but you may be blocking it. 32:35 Drop the sword, there is no fight. 34:37 Focusing on what's wrong blocks happiness 38:35 Being present, dropping unnecessary energy, and focusing on what's working. 40:42 Allow happiness to flow in by letting people help and expressing love 44:42 Identify and list out all excuses and complaints that create friction in your life. 46:26 Complaining keeps you stuck 50:24 Start focusing on what's going right

[@TravelPhotoWriter]

TY! Mel's team releases so many videos that I can't keep up, and it was becoming frustrating. The long compilations are ironically killing my productivity. But I know most of her personal stories now, so I try to fast forward to get to the meat of the communication on new videos. THIS SUMMARY HELPED ME

[@pegsglutenfreekitchen]

❤

[@nourhanelgamal7661]

Thank you 🤍

[@nourhanelgamal7661]

Thank you 🤍

[@nourhanelgamal7661]

Thank you 🤍

[@JustSmile-l5v]

Thanks Mel Robbins as always great pieces of advice❤

[@lee-annegovender9584]

Listened to this podcast while ironing the kids school uniforms for the week...I could've gone onto another load ...the way I enjoyed listening to her...she's so real, honest and transparent ❤

[@ccswhimsies]

Mel! I wanted to tell you that this episode hit the "homerun" on my billboard of me! I've been avoiding your podcast since not completing my workbook and feeling bad about it. I'm so grateful I listened to this one because I truly believe you've given me the tools to figure out how to find that happy me again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you, too! Christy

[@crystalcampbell79]

One of the amazing things that are said behind your back Mel is -- “Mel Robins said something to me that saved my life not just saved my life - but I was on my would be death bed and she said something that opened my mind and saved my life!!” I say this to everyone and for the rest of my life this will be something said about you Mel ..

[@sandeeapilan]

This was the call out I needed. I’m tired of my own bullshit. Committed to living a “happy” life ❤

[@marilynholmes-reilley1457]

Me too!

[@stacivestel1138]

Ditto 💯 I am over my own Bullshit too! I hear her - for some reason, though, believing in ME is such a struggle 🤯

[@auralara-healthbeauty1764]

Me too

[@nicole-os2vv]

You couldn't have described me better. Lots of work to do!!! Thansk Mel

[@KarenCraven-d8x]

Wow! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. I have spent most of my life chasing the thing that would finally make me happy! I have been working on looking inward now for a while and it's been working but your summary of the 3 points and making a friction list is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Mel! You are my Monday morning magic and my soul sister! I love you so frickin much!!

[@abbygill6945]

Omg thank you, Mel. ❤ I love the swinging doors metaphor. I will be transparent and admit I have had a 3ft steel door closed and have had the sword in my hand for a very long time. I am committed to dropping the sword and allowing happiness in. I deserve it! ❤

[@vesnalavrnja6039]

I'll have to listen to this on repeat. Boy, I've gotta wake up. Love you Mel❤, thanks, I needed it so badly. All my life 😎😊

[@AvaCarmichael]

I guess the next question is, "Why do people block happiness?" Afraid of vulnerability, not feeling worthy of happiness, not wanting to let go of all the things you think you're supposed to be responsible for? Is some of it brain chemistry responding to keep us safe? This is such a great topic to unpack!! ❤ For some, it seems like hypervigilence or always "waiting for the other shoe to fall" type of response that turns into a lifelong commitment to that emotion.

[@nylarodgers3183]

This would be a great podcast Mel!

[@ChristineHeck-bc2mh]

For me, I'm afraid of being vulnerable that someone will eventually take advantage of me by lying or cheating. I need to believe that no all people are like that and it's not fair to them or me.

[@elizabethlegere]

Love this episode! Thanks, Mel! Reminded me of this quote - “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ― Rumi “

[@sallyedwards5450]

Mel thank you. You articulated so much of what I was feeling & thinking. Thanks for your honesty, humour & insight 🙏💓

[@thelindyinfantefoundation9130]

Thanks!

[@vellapindDa]

Wow nice good job I'm respect your foundation trust nice good luck

[@thomasowens1746]

Mel- you r real and that’s why I like to listen to you. Thanks for all your input and suggestions!

[@jaej34]

Thank you for all you do. I appreciate you being my best friend that I can listen to everyday & every morning during my morning routine. You help me so much.

[@LacriChan19]

You are a beautiful soul! Thank you for helping us and for the love you are sending!❤

[@pamwalters5974]

I love your work Mel. You have helped me so much with my journey. Im always amazed every time I listen to your podcast. Thank you for all you do. Love you my friend!

[@sharichase6469]

One more thing that this podcast helped me to remember is to be happy with the moment you are in. Just enjoy what you are doing at the moment you are doing it. Don't worry about what you need to do next, just take a sec to enjoy what you are doing right now. This helped me a lot and I try so hard to get my sister to do this but she just can't! 😞

[@Sheryleization]

I need to learn this.

[@meatdog]

I absolutely loved that answer you gave the young mother. She was besting herself up for NOTHING. I was so proud of you telling her she was being SUCCESSFUL. Be thankful for all the victories. That was such a great interview.i love you

[@katreed5797]

Your video was so much more to the heart of many issues than any therapist, counselor, whatever, I've watched or seen.

[@patlarossa4160]

I love you Mel! I treasure your podcasts. You speak from the heart and make every topic relateable. Thank you!

[@jackew.inindiana7421]

I think it's awesome that you asked about the "I love you'" part. I always leave the office and say, "Love ya, bye!" 75% of my phone calls with friends end that way. I think it comes from my aunts and grandparents for sure. I grew up in a traumatic home, my mom often said she loved me but honestly sometimes I wonder if she even knew how. I say I love you because I don't want anyone to ever have a last moment with me and wonder later if I appreciated them and cared about them. Thanks for all you do Mel, Love ya, bye! :D

[@NicoleneEngelbrecht-t3u]

Dear Mel. My name is Nicolene, and I am from South Africa. I have been following you for a couple of months now and I would just like to say thank for your podcast as it has helped me immensely as i am struggling with depression and anxiety but I am working my ass off to get better without any meds as i know i can. This podcast could not have come at a better time in my life as you answered each and every question i was asking myself of why am i so mad all the time. I know now how i am keeping happiness out of my life and will work daily to try my best to let it in again. Thank you for your support even though you have no idea who i am! All the best with your 2024 and may this year just keep on getting greater. We did in fact wake up this morning;)

[@zuzilezungu5899]

South Africa 🇿🇦 ♥️

[@AngieG-ut1kf]

thanks again Mel for all your helpful advice and inspiration and hope that things can get better with effort on my part.. I do see things improving in my life and I feel grateful and blessed 😊

[@amandineisabelle6494]

thank you mel really needed to hear this today xxxxxx

[@KerryFlores-r8e]

You are so amazing❣️I just love you and your energy❣️thank you for being here💕

[@learningwithharry4996]

I've spent years cultivating this feeling because I had nothing else. I am glad that I did.

[@Carr2409]

Love you Mel! Thank you. ❤❤❤

[@DianeLCohen]

fantastic, Mel. love, love, loved this. thank you. great reminders and lots of new ones. terrific metaphors, especially the swinging doors,💙🌟

[@ctinnyc4517]

How is it that you are so inciteful? Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@roseandrade2114]

Thank you Mel, I focus too much on negative things not done, instead of saying thank you for things that get done. Love you for all your positive things you teach.

[@sharichase6469]

Thanks for helping me realize that I really am happy. The only unhappy problem I relate with is the door. Only mine is not just a vault door, it is a brick wall! I've been working on it for years though and know its there. Thank you for the reminder to make it into a door that swings!! XOXO 🙂

[@marcialong5420]

I didn't realize that from 50:40 and on has never been spoken to me. It never occurred to me until l heard it.. until you said it. Ive told others this many times, because it's exactly what I need to here myself. Thank you Mel for such powerful podcast.

[@mynheer1]

Thank you Mel; I love you and appreciate your work and support to help us to reach our goals and be happy. It has been rough, lost our Father the day after Christmas and our Mom has dementia and doesn’t know us. We are all separated due to our oldest sister not honoring our Father’s wishes. I let her have it because it truly hurt and felt like she slapped me and our TransBrother in the face since we were living our lives differently from her life and we knew she didn’t approve but we both learned that day just how cruel she could be.

[@rachelwaks2264]

Thank you Mel. This is my daily life. I’m struggling with anxiety and ADHD and I’m just trying to find myself. I love you ❤

[@reneeurbanek6029]

Thank you Mel….for all your support and encouragement….& sharing your love🫶🏽

[@lornamadden1099]

I'm only a third of the way into the episode, but I can I have this clam inside no problem, I have worked to get here and I can absolutely find calm and happiness inside when there is problem after problem after problem but it doesn't change anything for me I would say it is a very useful tool for parenting my children because they feel safe and happy and they see a strong mom who isn't panicking but I kind of always thought that if you can achieve this state that somehow that if I can recognise and give myself grace and what not , that god or the universe will make things a bit better but it doesn't.... so much is wrong and I'm trying so so so hard and now I feel ridiculous sometimes because there is just so much wrong so much to worry about and I cant work any harder then I am I can pay myself on the back but now I am calm in all this mess , I don't even know if it's right to feel that calm. Because things are so bad like I feel like isas more productive when I would panic like how I was years ago. I don't know what I'm doing

[@fsm12385]

The most amazing analogy !! 🎉 THANK YOU !!

[@tanyajohnson6066]

Yes we block happiness because not only do we have to let it in. We think we are not worthy.

[@rosetintedglasses72]

Yep, it's taken me many years to understand!

[@ChristineHeck-bc2mh]

I feel that I'm so much like you back three years ago. I have the bank vault closed for so long because I don't want to get hurt anymore so I keep the sword up all the time. I've also realized by listening to you that this will not make me happy. I've always wondered why I can't be happy. I retired early, I have a good financial life, my kids are great. I'm my own worst enemy. Not everyone is able to be in the position I'm in. I've let past situations dictate my negative thoughts and emotions. It's time I take control and take ownership. This is my life and my one any only life..... I am going to open the swinging doors. You are such an inspiration. I just love you!

[@jackiemcclendon4725]

Beautiful story about your son Oakley! Thank you for sharing that…🥰

[@carmenveronicamichaelidou5592]

God Bless you and all people listening here to you allways 🙏🙏🙏you are so clear and i love to lusten and lurn from you ❤ Happyness ,joy , succes ,proserytty to you and to Entire pkanrtvi wish from my hearth ❤🙏🙏🙏

[@kateroth7154]

I never liked ypu, Mel, but I do now. You've become real.

[@pinkturbomoto]

I so do the bank vault too early door close thing! My boyfriend and I are long distance and we do these amazing things together as he works as a pilot and I am on his flight benefits. We go see these fantastic places and concerts and have the best time.... but I will literally start thinking about us being apart again and having to say goodbye the night before and get all worked up! It ruins the precious time we have and while I am getting better, MAN that's so relatable. Thanks for not making me feel alone, Mel... it's nice when someone else gets it. EDIT: dang it I do the sword thing too! 31:09 hypervigilance is real (and extra bad when you try and go back to normal world from LE world). Daily life hasnt been just... enjoyable... in years.

[@tammyking4286]

Thank you Mel for your honesty. I relate so much to what you are saying on this video and on so many other videos too. I am open to learning and change. This is the year for reflection, personal growth and greatness. You are just frigging amazing!!

[@joanmetz4101]

This could not have come at a better time! Mel, I love your podcasts! Why do we sabotage ourselves? I have resolved to make this year the best ever, regardless of what is going on in my life. It is up to me and me only. I deserve this and owe it to myself ❤️. Scared to feel good again in case….tradedy strikes again….WOW! You hit the nail on the head….😢 Thank you Mel❤️

[@joanmetz4101]

lol. Here I thought I was just grumpy because I was getting older! I will let the doors swing open, drop the sword, and say “thank you” to any compliment!

[@theeditor1149]

I just got back to work today after the holiday and Im back in the rut. I had no motivation to do anything, I wanted to cry. I dont hate my job because it's soft and I get to sit in an airconditioned office but I hate where I sit and the job itself was never part of the dream for my life, but I lack the confidence and in-roads to get into the field I want to at my age. I found myself repeating the pattern of the past year, wake up and run out the door, not eating during the day, binging on junk when I got home. Havent completed all the work for the day and I find myself struggling to do any work at the office with all the people around me and the load of work and having to mentor people when I have no time to mentor people. I'm already so tired and upset😭😭😭

[@kdec3023]

I LOVE YOU TOO MEL!🙌

[@susanmarie2231]

Happiness = Peace of Mind. I did not figure this out until later in life.

[@saracanuso8463]

Oh Lord did I need to listen to this call today. Thank you so much Mel. Love you and beyond grateful for your insights and brilliance.

[@mars56100]

Reminds of my days of being a restaurant manager ; especially on the floor during peek meal periods. I was the eye of the hurricane! I had to set the mood. Contentment is a choice.

[@123kayceegirl]

MEL....Thank you so much, I am there for so many years. I am going to breathe and listen to this over and over and learn, because I want to find peace and happiness from within the eye of the storm.

[@sabamisghina7076]

When I fellow your podcast..You make my day all the time ❤

[@Lucyrandomvlogs]

I am listening, jot it down and share to my students everything that I can share about what I have learned or what I am learning from you now.❤ I am so grateful to knew your channel. I have shared your videos and channel to all my students here in Korea at Community Cententers I am teaching now.

[@Subhana23]

Thank you ! Excellent advice and tips

[@mahasafieddine9252]

I'm just started listening & I could tell u before even going deeper... it's me, yeah unfortunately it's me who are you talking about.. thank you Mel

[@Lucyrandomvlogs]

❤Hi Mel♥ I really appreciate you for sharing your effective, useful, helpful video. Stay blessed and healthy♥

[@nylarodgers3183]

Hi Mel! I love your podcast and so appreciate how real you are. You sharing that you were creating all this misery for yourself really unlocked something in me realizing how I am actively blocking my own happiness too! I will take your techniques and apply them to my life and I already feel that 2024 will be the year I am truly happy from the inside out! ❤😊

[@jenniferhunt7788]

Thanks for this tough love podcast today. You really spoke to me. I am always clenching the sword. I'm going to work hard to put it down. Thanks also for sharing your story and your vulnerability and for being so relatable.

[@veronikametzler1927]

Wow.. love the Podcast. Thank you. Enjoyed Hearing those words.🙏🏻

[@AnnaMariaFrancesca-zo2pn]

Thank you , you’re a blessing!

[@RoisinOConnell]

Thank you Mel - really needed this, "pop up in the eye of a storm"

[@SybalJanssen]

Using the Option Process and its five questions moves me to happiness fast; what I had to learn was not to feel guilty about feeling happy. The first time I experienced that happiness, I honestly felt lost in space and watched myself pull in the unhappiness because it felt familiar.

[@annemariebarrow6406]

Mel, how is it that you ALWAYS know what your followers need to hear, precisely when they need to hear it??!! I have been thinking about creating some sort of social media content entitled “CALL IT OUT” where call out the BS I see or experience in this world. I guess episode 1 would start with ME!! Thanks again for this video. I’ve shared, per usual. Love you!

[@Joaniey3]

Mel, you’re Awesome! Thank YOU! ❤

[@EmmaRonan]

Mel Robins I want to thank you for parting the clouds of confusion and frustration in my mind about a personal issue. In all my self doubt and self criticism- you have , in 1 video, made me feel valid, understood, human, relieved beyond belief, and given me a psychological exhalation. Thank you a thousand times. Now where do I go and what do I do with my newfound knowledge. I’ll figure it out, but wow wow wow I feel like a little child who needed glasses and finally an adult put glasses on my face and said see??see!!!! I could kiss you. God bless you x

[@Arian-vf6jo]

Of the three things, although I identify with carrying a sword in your hand all the time anticipating conflict more, I can say I also identify with the other two. It's almost like I don't know how to be happy, at least now I know the only person in my way is myself. Really good advice, thanks.

[@angelawalsh620]

This is in regards to make 2020 for the best year of your life or something like that workbook my God you know I just started reading The questions and reflecting back in my mind and it was just too painful to go on and some of them couldn't even answer I'm 64 years old and still a mess. I don't want to feel sorry for myself but I don't know what to do with all these emotions? They seem to take over when it should be the other way around I should be able to take over them and maybe that's what I need to do is just put on my Big girl pants as You would say just write Down what it is just put Down I Don't Know if I Don't Know and just see what happens instead of giving in to my emotions including something that might possibly make a CHANGE

[@didemkilinc]

Thank you for pointing out the root of this problem Mel! I have never heard those three words from my parents. Thanks to you I’ve decided to let the sunhine in..

[@janetfreysanderson5731]

This is very eye opening. Thank you for sharing

[@stephanierowan8752]

2024 Resolution❤ is Find Peace🙏 within myself. Amen.🙏 Thanks Mel.👏

[@sharonosgood1]

I so needed to hear this today! Thank you, Mel! ❤

[@Elizabeths-Wisdom]

I luv ya Mel!! ❤Thank you!

[@sulekhasalah485]

We love youuuu, thankyou for the podcast 😍

[@Graemkat]

One of the best episodes! You are like the best friend that is completely honest and holds me accountable for me. ❤

[@fsm12385]

New Subscriber here! Gratefulness brings me happiness, appreciation , think before any reaction !

[@butterfly154]

Mel, this podcast hit home like a sledgehammer. I completely relate to living in your head, focusing on what's wrong, etc. It really is a happiness blocker. Good sharing and recommendations on how to fix. This was a Gem 🙏🙏🙏🌞

[@JackieBellwood]

This episode was absolutely the wake up call I needed. I am that hurricane living behind the big vault door making excuses for why my bullshit is always someone else’s problem. Thank you Mel for giving me the homework to not only own my bullshit but how to change my doors.❤

[@paulaalfonsi5410]

OMG....SO WONDERFUL!!!!!❤ 51:21

[@tanyajohnson6066]

When I was married to a narcissist that blocked my happiness and the hamster wheel was going. I'm so glad he filed. He didn't want to move on because he stayed in my house. My house I owed before we were married. After that he left, I was able to heal and use the let them theory!

[@danadavis3647]

Just the video that I needed at the moment. Thank you Mel!!! ❤

[@ninasky8975]

This is SO true ❤ thank you Mel this really helped

[@Nadiascrafts]

Oh wow! This was perfect! And a really good wake up call

[@Ayaal466]

You always motivate me thanks for your kind words ❤and I come to KZbin to watch your videos are really helpful 🥰

[@carriebrening6812]

Omg. This is me all the time. I am going to drop the scord. I am always ready for thr negative that comes my way since I was a child.

[@rosalynevans8901]

You made me cry !!! Thank you for your precious words xx I love you too xx

[@rosetintedglasses72]

Thanks Mel I love you

[@Velma-d7p]

Thank you my friend 🤜🤛💞🌹🙏

[@karenwade6713]

Good grief it was like a clone of myself at around minute 27, 28. I've been doing this for YEARS! I'M exhausted. I gotta get out of my own way, I just turned 58 on the 5th and it's way past time.

[@OsirisNin]

Honestly, what Mel is referring to is not so much happiness, but enlightenment. It's to realize who you truly are, and to realize how you have not been living authentically. How you have been running from you you really are -- chasing degrees, jobs, relationships, money to fill the void. It's to realize you have been listening to and identifying with your ego, which is not who you truly are. "Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing through the facade of pretense." - Adyashanti

[@surriegovender8186]

Mel u are awesome . Thanx u❤

[@andreeanedelcu7305]

Right to the core of it! You are amazing in explaining these sensitive concepts, it shows the wisdom gained after so much working with yourself! Thank you for sharing, love you!! 🤗 🤗

[@dutchman10201]

I don’t know how to be happy and I am afraid so glad I was introduced to your work

[@Chrissy-e3n]

I love you too Mel!😊

[@cindyhorsley9805]

You are the best!!! I have a yoga instructor turn me on to your podcast. I can’t wait to hear each new one. Your a God send I’m very thankful

[@elizabethmccandliss8146]

Good points Mel. My happiness comes from having God in my life. I always have him to turn to in hard times. It works and keeps me going.