The Shadow of the INFJ

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[@grumpyschnauzer]

I like to think of our shadow as an escape hatch... the part of us we tap into when we are pressed to "be" but ran out of options on addressing "being". It's more of a challenge to cope outside ourselves so we swing into an opposite corner. Themes surrounding survival and surrender might explain why we "escape". On a good day we might handle life as we are but on a bad day where our resources don't work and our toolbox for addressing and coping prove to be insufficient we scramble. And in life, everyone gets a turn.

[@cindyc]

Was thinking maybe journaling is a way of bringing out the subconscious into the conscious. Often when dealing with others who have toxic behaviors, they don't offer closure, therefore confronting them in person may be little to no solace. Know that talk therapy is encouraged by counselors, as well as journaling. Many will also recommend reparenting exercises and even roleplay within the therapeutic setting.

[@mariek.474]

Journaling is like ranting to a friend you're sure not to bore or offend : it's been really good for me, especially 10-15minutes in when the platitudes run out and I receive an idea of something deeper to explore.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

Generally whenever I can not see a theory clearly enough "play out" in real life myself in a subject like this, I have to take it with some grain of salt. I find it problematic to internalize ideas that I can not see myself in reality because I'm afraid to build upon a foundation that is purely theoretical in nature. When I first learned about typology I could see the general patterns play out in reality myself, which gave it a sense of credibility for me. It made me more interested in it. For this reason I find it hard to watch things like some of the objective personality content like some interviews, because direct observations are thrown out of the window and people are encouraged to blindly be trusted to be typed correctly and the theory that has multiple possibly contradicting layers on top of eachother. It seems some direct observations are altered by the interviewees or interviewers in order to make reality fit to the theory or the typing rather than the other way around. I think the further one deviates from what can still be observed directly or clearly enough with pattern recognition, the more shaky the terrain gets and one is phrone to internalize 'ideas' rather than reality. The one small thing I do like about the concept of a shadow with the oppositional functions is that there is some sense of logical or conceptual beauty to the idea that the opposite of the concious part consists of the other half. This does not automatically make it true of course, because one could create the most beautiful theory that still purely fiction.

[@loref4200]

I agree with what you've said about calling into question those systems which attempt to analyze behaviors of a particular individual by negating the very individual's input. I'd say it's a lot like a surgeon who merely focuses on the objective data and tests, and aims to heal the leg, while the patient continues telling him their stomach hurts. There needs to be a balanced approach when speaking about people who are too varied to fit into our own perceptions of their identity. Sure, there exist some 'truths' in our perception, but I'd much rather get that input from the individual, if my intention is to ever help them know themselves/grow/heal/etc. I enjoyed your latter paragraph about there being something beautiful in consistency, or a pattern which fits the structure of one and acts as a counterpart to the other. At least, this is how I interpreted it. I agree that it would be a lovely manifestation of how these inner frameworks are developed. The yin and yang of it is quite fitting, if it were any sort of mirror to how nature is structured.

[@juice_lime5114]

Late comment here. In my understanding, the shadow is similar to the silly or childlike side you hide. I do drawing, a titanic challenge to defy my constant thirst for reading or absorbing knowledge. All this started after a terrible awakening from depression, decided to drop off all my unhealthy restraints and turn back to past passions. I'm always curious to find out the reason behind everything. Eventually coming into contact with psychology behind Self-expression. My art was purely self-expressive, with nothing to hide. Since I started drawing, I kept manifesting a character with a vibe completely different from mine. Often displayed as a childlike character, like an imaginary friend. But there's one hitch: I could never hate it. When the things related to the character are very negative, I felt immense pain within that could ruin the mood. If positive, I would always burst out laughing due to the silliness. When introduced to MBTI and then Jungian psychology, I noticed a trend with the vibes even before knowing vultology. I just "know" how shadow psychology works, without knowing why. When I counsel people, I always bring out their shadow. Then when I skimmed the surface of vultology with facial expressions (recognising just by vibes, don't know how to explain), my character matched that of an ENFP. That clingy, cheerful vibe was unmistakable. Met a real one before, literally the same vibe and behaviour. Practicing shadow work is a constant challenge, requiring immense levels of self-awareness. The shadow speaks through your intuition like the inner voice that makes you second guess the initial thought. You need to know when to trust it. I took the very first personality tests after unknowingly practicing it for months, to the point that I confused myself between INFJ or INFP. Took the look deep into cognitive functions, and it became clear what my weaknesses were (horrible Te, painful Si, Se grip). I question everything, but sometimes the further I question, the worse I feel. Experienced this everytime when trying to go against the flow of intuition. Then when everything starts connecting again after the cutoff, that feeling is replaced by relief. Shadow psychology is all about "acceptance" and "denial".

[@mariek.474]

Good video Ren ! I too don't see the shadow as being so simple as an "opposite you" : it's no doubt against the Persona (otherwise it wouldn't be repressed) and is autonomous from the conscious personality, but I'm not sure cognitive functions could be applied to it, or if it's the case if the mirror formula (Ni to Ne, Fe to Fi etc...) would really be the answer to typing it. I got Psychological Types and now I'm really looking forward to reading it, to see if I'll understand anything in it that can be related to this, but I have to finish "Dialectique du moi et de l'inconscient" (no clue if there's an english version) first. I've stumbled into MBTI about a year ago and since then I've been trying to understand typology in the framework of Jung's theories overall, reading source material, taking time to digest it mentally and copying quotes along the way. I'm not feeling really versed in it yet but, slowly but surely ! (and the ideas discussed here really help too) I'm starting to see the outline of a whole picture and so should be able to dissect its' content better with time. Until now I've seen types mentionned (even when only briefly) in Man and his Symbols, in Liber Novus, in the book I'm currently reading... Clearly one's personality type is always present and is to be considered in analysis (including self-analysis), and it's really not idiotic that it should influence the ways the shadow manifests itself, or the messages it's trying to send (someone's type can hint at some things they'd be likely to repress, in my opinion). But as we never know the processes of the shadow, only its' manifestations, it doesn't seem to me like we could assign functions or a psychological type to the shadow itself. But again, I'll read more about the theory soon and might feel more comforable putting my "own spin" on it ! ✨

[@RommyFallas]

Another insightful video, Ren🙏🙏

[@light9623]

Thanks Ren.

Great video. Love your content.

[@katieandnick4113]

INFJs may be the only type that isn’t susceptible to falling into their shadow, when exposed to a lot of trauma in childhood and throughout life. Oh, and ESTPs too. They’re born “evil”, and can’t change. All of the INFJs I know have experienced extreme amounts of trauma, but none of them have become bad people. At most, the men may come off as slightly narcissistic, but they aren’t mean to people the way actual narcissists are. My sister is an INFJ, as well as my brother, and me. My sister has experienced the most trauma of any INFJ I know, starting probably immediately after she was born. And while she’s not doing well, to say the least, she hasn’t turned into an uncaring, non empathetic person. She loves the people in her life so very much. So, yeah, INFJs don’t have a dark side, and ESTPs don’t have a light side. I will add that an assertive INFJ can look too confident to many people. Actually, they can look arrogant. They may ask themselves, “why do I have to be smarter than everyone else?” But if they believe this to be true, it likely is true, and they are simply acknowledging an objective reality, as INFJs aren’t good with cognitive dissonance. If an assertive INFJ is very attractive, they know they’re very attractive. They don’t feign being humble to please others. Only another assertive INFJ can accept this, so it can get very lonely.

[@JackieKay11]

Never seen so much hand gesturing from you before Renaud ? Wonder what that indicates ? 🤔😀

[@RensRoom]

My Italian origins! :D

[@JackieKay11]

@@RensRoom Just looked back to confirm and there was definitely little gesturing in other videos. I’ve got my therapists head on you see 🤔😀 Might need to check out your subconscious 😀🤗😁 Nice video, thanks 👍

[@Uncle_Jester]

What is there to even CAST the shadow ? And more... what ON ?

[@timefortee]

Isn't the INFJ's shadow ESTP and the ENFP the animus/ anima?? Also, you being NiTi would mean your shadow is SeFe? Have you heard that oldish Jordan Peterson video clip where he talks about the shadow and how being aware of it and not doing any harm when one _knows_ one technically _could_ but chooses not to... and how it's a power? It's my favorite video of his! PS: Ren, do you have any experience with altered states of consciousness, and how did your sub/ and unconscious knock on the door of your conscious? Also, do you have vivid dreams high in symbolism?

[@Gio-sx7kt]

Isn't the ESTP considered the Demon stack of the INFJ, and comes out under stress? I don't really understand this stuff completely, but I think that is supposed to be the Demon, while ENFP is considered the shadow.

[@oluchukwuokafor7729]

Every infj seems to be NiTi, very suspicious indeed.

[@timefortee]

@@oluchukwuokafor7729 No, I'm not, and FJ isn't either.

[@oluchukwuokafor7729]

@@timefortee its an exaggeration, but I think it is very common for an infj claim to be NiTi than for example an intp to say they are TiSi. The proportions don't seem consistent to me.

[@timefortee]

@@oluchukwuokafor7729 Yeah, cause most INFJs who are into typology theories are NiTi (in my experience), even I as an NiFe don't care for the theory part as much, I like observing real people or at least actors instead. Btw there aren't just two subtypes, there are 4.

[@anisanancy6459]

Hey Ren can you give some of your thoughts on how detachment from emotions due to mental diseases like depersonalisation or some other reason would manifest in tge 16 types. Especially feelers.

[@PaulBrake]

But then in psychoanalysis, if you are assuming that the vocalized statistical variants appear from the unconscious, does that not also mean that you are ignoring the existence, or at least the possibility of contribution, from the subconscious and the superfluous ego? And if the other two mindsets exist, and contribute, then does that render psychoanalysis is moot?