The Shy Covert Narcissist

This Podcast looks at why it is so hard, but not impossible to spot a Covert Narcissist. Coming across as shy and humble they often hide in plain sight behind characteristics they have attached to their mask to throw people off their true nature.
Coaching - [e-mail]
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[@savvydavvy3463]

Coverts are the worst. They are skilled at punishing you in plain sight for any perceived narc injury. Most times everyone else is oblivious to their discreet tactics.

[@maryhatleymeyer]

Isn’t that the truth! They’re so sweet and kind to others, and everyone thinks you need to get over yourself. You end up feeling like you’re losing your mind!

[@Lena-so2lq]

​@maryhatleymeyer my mother ~ volunteers with the most striken of all invalids at nursing homes. Especially during holidays (her kids have all figured her out.) Im her youngest daughter at 46. Shes nearly had me snuffed out 6x or so. Taking her to court. I have no other way.

[@andersa3448]

They drain you almost completely in energy and are giving you nothing back.

[@donnamcquail7551]

I agree.

[@joeroberto5367]

Joke: Why did the narcissist cross the road? Because it was a boundary. Love you guys.

[@NarcCon]

😅😅😊

[@katejudson8907]

😂😂😂😂

[@Healinglove]

😂😂😂

[@user-zr8ib7xt8i]

Narcissistic beings are assigned in our lives.

[@kathrynhogan3387]

Very cute Joe!

[@cori8439]

The covert Narc Is the most dangerous, most insidious, most sneaky , most stealth & in some ways the most toxic because of how good they are about hiding their narcissism & being under the radar.

[@NarcCon]

Under the radar totally Cori 🙏💓

[@miraclesforus2]

Blight to humanity

[@marymccomb411]

You nailed it. He was shy, soft spoken, shy smile on his face. Then just before discard, mean, snarky and insulting. Everything he said he didn't like about me was the traits he possessed. I was in shock. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. It was obvious he had a new supply. I feel sorry for her.

[@Lena-so2lq]

I've warned many. Some take heed, some find out down the line. I wish, in my cases, someone had come to me. Id have listened.

[@daisywusi7556]

Everyone was so happy for me when I'd met the ex-narc, they were envious of me. Little did they know that the man was a pure demon. Years of frustration and setbacks. Healing now after 10 years of utter hurt and disappointment.

[@Missybella92227]

Ex covert, fiancé paid for vacations, lavish gifts, and dates,but it ALL came with a price!! My feelings, concerns were disregarded. Nothing I did was good enough and I never gave enough of my time. The last couple months, he began insulting and arguing with me in public. The brutal discard, has been most heartbreaking verbal, emotional experience that I’ve experienced.

[@Lena-so2lq]

​@@Missybella92227i know it sounds ridiculous now, but be grateful that the spending part wasnt vice versa. Cuz the emotional part with debt or loss of home,etc.. just sucks. 💜

[@alfonsobejarano4531]

This is why make them so dangerous.

[@NarcCon]

Very dangerous

[@micktaylor1991]

I my ex covert narc girlfriend should be living in hollywood. Best actor award

[@zitazita687]

I think it would be a tie between yours & mine.lol.

[@starseeds8121]

My father should be there also.

[@toothdoc215]

My ex same LOL

[@micktaylor1991]

@@toothdoc215 do you now what amazes me . His that all the empath s that are all discarded are such amazing people. But after a 6 year relationship with a covert narssis girlfriend and seeing the mask drop and what’s behind it . We are dealing with pure evil. Mick u. K.

[@wmhhealth2018]

Same here.

[@sistergoldensunshine4069]

You described so many behaviors of the ex narc. He was shy, quiet, humble and so willing to offer help to anyone… so into me and made me feel so seen, special, too good to be true. I saw some cracks in the mask from time to time in the first year or so, but as we all do, made excuses for it or gave him the benefit of the doubt. As years went on and the devalue started, I started catching onto the fact that he would seem irritated if I asked him to follow up on something HE OFFERED to do. Once I started catching on to his need for validation, I realized I was never alone in the relationshit. Then it was all downhill, and the cold, dark , cruel passive aggressive side came out. Then the downright evil showed. You nailed it! I’m finally feeling better after isolating for the past 16months. But only because I dove deep into learning not only about these individuals, but also about why I was targeted and why I allowed someone to disrespect and abuse me emotionally.

[@ladyvirgo9514]

I relate

[@edgreen8140]

Emotional starvation, just as H.G. would say they are failing at being a grandiose. Their not loud but you'll see the entitlement. Yes they have a facade which they will protect at all costs. Chronic victims of the world. Data collection to be used against you at a later date. Lovebomb a stranger while they neglect their nearest and dearest. Thanks for the tip oversharing to soon. You have it ACTIONS ! And words don't match.

[@janieeauschn2673]

Street angel house devils.

[@kitsmith693]

The narc I encountered didn’t remember a single thing about me, nothing whatsoever. He believed he was a kind helpful humble man,he was nothing of the sort

[@starseeds8121]

This is my father. Deadliest creature alive. Humble Christian on the surface.

[@UuddlerLeRoyBaStart]

I've been in several bad relationships. My mom was an overt narc. Everybody knew she was off her rocker. I came back from Iraq. And got with an overt one who has been married 5 times by now. I've had one that was a druggie. And always the victim. My ex wife, she's a covert type. And this last one, she was vulnerable/ covert. She shared everything with me, and really was going through a very hard time in her life. Then she traded me off. And its like I didn't even exist. And at the same time, she wanted me around. Like, sitting on the sidelines or something. It was too much. I thought I'd seen it all. People ask me where I find all these crazy women. I don't find them. They find me. I'm like a magnet or something. I thought I was crazy, or something was wrong with me, for a long time. It was only a few years ago, about 3. That I've done my homework and research. Been a wild ride.

[@sadiyasheikh6117]

Me tooo

[@andersa3448]

Me too. I think that we attract these ones so that we can grow spiritually even if we take a lot of hits. Also, they need us for their own growth even if it takes long time for them.

[@sadiyasheikh6117]

Anders I don't think that they need us for their growth. It is rarely to see these narcs change. They never change. I left him 4 yrs ago. At that time I was severely depressed. Am getting out the hall now and working with myself and the therapy.

[@NarcCon]

You sound strong now..yes knowledge is so valuable 💓

[@user-zy8gk2nn7d]

that is why you need to be one who chooses.

[@CVICURN1]

Yes, he hardly put anything on FB. He only has about 20 friends. One minute he would let me be friends on FB and then if he had another supply want to be friends on FB, he would block me on FB and then there would be another chica on there. I would have a friend look. He was always very quiet and covert and shy. Everything was very private. I wasn’t allowed to post anything either. I couldn’t take pics of us together so I didn’t post them so his other supplies didn’t see. He also wouldn’t let me put that I was in a relationship w him on FB. No one could know because he was dating at least 5 different women that I didn’t realize until he Discarded me

[@wmhhealth2018]

You are describing exactly my ex female covert narc. And yes she is a snake from the word go. She nearly destroyed me.

[@surfshack2]

Oh God my ex was all of this. God it's so scary, I was being setup to be used for so many residual benefits. i got out before she did any real damage, she did enough in the year i was with her but all these things devilish things I was being setup for to be totally used as like a staging point. She would've been using me for money, place to stay, getting to know my friend circle and cheating on me with them for more supply. Isolation from family. Sleep deprivation. Constant drama. Just total manipulation. Emotional manipulation. She was trying to do all these things with me. Setting me up slowly, once i agreed to move her in with me she upped her game more intensely and when i started to back away at that point because I sensed real danger and my family was dead set against her, you see the mask slipping because you are fighting back. She got mean. Devaluing. As soon as you fight back you start to see the real person behind the mask. Your gut starts screaming and your body fights itself to the point I was getting extremely stressed. They do all these things and as they're doing it they devalue you and lose even more respect and it becomes justified in their minds that you are weak. The victim starts to lose the sense of their own self and you start to even devalue yourself for them. Oh it's so horrible. The devastation they can do to a person. And their family. They can destroy a whole family and leave you for dead. The best thing i ever did was block and delete this devil and totally get off social media. I needed this whole past year away from everything just so i could get my mind straight so i couId asses and see the damage done to me. I never could dream in a million years that people like this existed. Thank you so much for your detailed analysis on this. It is excellent.

[@NarcCon]

This analysis too is wonderful thank you

[@surfshack2]

@@NarcCon When I look back now, I realize i didn't even like her friends/acquaintences. These so called friends claim to be these special friends but when you look closely enough they all seem as if they hang around for something. Eyes feasted on you....jealous, selfish , attention seeking, analyzing, hatred. It made me feel like i was under some kind of pressure to put on a show for the narc and you're being analyzed by the narc harem to see if you're a narc yourself or the next victim. No good. Disgusting.

[@preacher3106]

Her name wasn’t Coralis was it? Lmao this behavior is so familiar it’s scary.

[@lynndyer9292]

I get an instinct sometimes. They go to unbelievable extremes.

[@7christsaves452]

Your explanation is spot on!!! My exhusband was exactly that, a humble covert narcissist. I'm so grateful that my Lord helped me to break away from this toxic relationship. I'm alot wiser and happier now.

[@carolinekamya2339]

Yep you can go from covert and think you are safe with a shy one then they are covert!!!! omg ...everywhere

[@christoole1488]

Always evaluate over a long time. Look for patterns in red flags. They are usually projecting faults onto ex partners. These are the same things that are used on you in the smear campaign. Everything your saying is correct!!!everyone is in compartments so stories can't be compared. With the knowledge you get from these channels you will be surprised! Listen to stories of being the hero or victim and never at fault. Maybe a little at fault to hook you as a manipulative weapon. Very tricky to spot.

[@NarcCon]

Yes Chris real tricky to spot!!

[@Cat-sx6ep]

So true they repeat the same stories it was boring especially if you are the reason for the destruction ..I pray he gets his God will watch him each day and night he is in control always Empath

[@JH-td4mn]

My Covert ex used to include little caveats when he smeared his most loathed ex. After demolishing her character, he'd say something like "But obviously there are 2 sides to every story". Or he'd say "I used to be an immature d***!" as a "joke" with a little glint in his eye. 99% of the rest of the time he painted himself as the faultless victim or hero. Sneaky snake!

[@denisefisher2782]

Absolutely spot on. That's exactly them! No one would believe you unless like us all, they've experienced these morally insane deranged evil non humans. Thankyou so much.

[@lioubovgrant1935]

I had one of those and you correct that i thought i had a nicest man out there, he acted so real, even though i am very cautious with a new people in my life , it took me a long time to figured out, who was hiding behind that mask, it took me 3 years, i hate myself for not seeing it in 3 months who i was dealing with, but again i did not even imagine that those kind of people exist, I thought those mean people out there show you they are mean and no good in a very short time and you just simply go away from, but not with those covert narcissists, they tricked you and you have no clue they did . Lesson learned !!! One thing i thankful to him for is that he showed me how '' Evil '' look like .

[@zitazita687]

How lucky are you to have discovered this narcissist so quickly .It took me years,clap yourself on the back girl.Mine is exactly who Paula just described down to a T.To this day my narc is known as Paula described by everyone who knows him so,it would be a waste of time even trying to tell anyone what he's really like.Best wishes to you.

[@antoniolima1068]

"evil" looks like everything you wished for.

[@peterm4887]

I know how you feel! It took 8yrs before the mask fell of and I got to see the real person. It was such a shock as I've never knowingly encountered a covert before. All the things that made no sense are clear too me now. I feel such a fool for not ending the relationship sooner. I'm wiser now but still sometimes struggle now knowing it was all fake. It took me a year to finally go no contact. Its now 7 months since going no contact and I feel so much stronger for it. So few people understand that these people exist. Its good to know I'm not alone.

[@BridiesMammaG]

Mine had a mantra " I am a nice, thoughtful guy" I heard this a lot whilst he broke my sofa, trashed my house, Used all my time and energy and ate here for free 🤤

[@moshiachhasawakened6781]

You are talking about my narc lady. It's a foolish needy humbleness, followed by victimhood, then drama queen, then turning into overt narcissism followed or coming with belittleing to finaly ending in a straight ruling and all commanding dictator. And at the same time the complete inability to get anything done at their own.

[@cazhickling8151]

They always do something in the beginning of any relationship .that sends a an easy feel through you. Red flag that's your body telling you to 🏃‍♂️

[@NarcCon]

True 💓

[@andersa3448]

Walking on eggshells was what I did in the beginning. Then I didn't know that it is a huge sign to run away.

[@fidelmashelton9491]

Complete control freaks. Energy Vampires who like to destroy... 😈😈😈

[@mammabear4334]

The ex was a covert , a complete snake 🐍

[@belladonna70]

incredible flirts ,.think everyone wants them ,they tease lead people on for attention

[@janieeauschn2673]

and ignore their amazing family and make their loved ones walk on glass.

[@Cat-sx6ep]

They are bums . I was with one and he comes from a well to do family after months of hanging out I was paying for everything and notice he cant or did not work. Also worried about his sister in law relationship with her husband ( he had a relationship with her). He talked a lot of craziness so because I am a listening I figured out he was a loser, user and abuser. They are toxic and haters and thieves. In the end i showed him the door in less than a year LOSER.

[@reneeschroeder5583]

You nailed this perfect! I was in a grandiose relationship 9 years ago and met a guy this past summer in a dog park. I was screening for all the grandiose flags and he was the oppisitel He didnt brag! he was exactly what you described. I didnt give my phone number. He was sweeping me and eventually ghoasted me I believe I had a guardian angel. He did mirror me! I have a good knowledge now of a covert. He was promissing me all the things I wanted to hear future faking, He has no way of contacting me other than he knows the office I Work at, I havnt seen him in 10 weeks.

[@user-zy8gk2nn7d]

or just use you for a manipulation, control and your empathy. They have hardly any friends - if so it is usually an over narcissist - that is how it is easy to recognize them. Later on they triangulate you with an overt or covert narc. They seem to be very sensitive, good and humble - but in a way too much - too humble, too sensitive.

[@user-zr8ib7xt8i]

I had a person, who was quiet, introvert, very insidious spirit, never be speaking, always had an image of silent person and never be open to me o think he was a very clever narc.

[@rwdchannel2901]

My father is a covert narcissist who's been divorced 3 times and got into a fight with anyone he was friends with. He's got 8 kids and only 2 of them are in contact with him regularly. The weird thing was it appears to me there's no reason for him to be insecure, envious and hateful. He retired from the US Navy, is a Vietnam veteran and had a successful business building houses for decades. When I was 33 years old I found out about narcissism and started using the Grey Rock Method when my father insulted me for a reaction. He started to ghost me to get narcissistic supply other places. Last time I spoke to him was when I was 40 years old and I told him to stop trying to control my life. He didn't like that. I've been trying to stay no contact with him for 7 years but he knows where I live. Since he's 86 years old this month he doesn't have the strength to keep hoovering me.

[@Noemie291]

One of the best vid I ve seen on covert narcs! My mother disliked the video! Lol

[@NarcCon]

Oooh ..🙏🌹

[@elsie8966]

mine was confident with a sob story. but definitely covert. he hates people. atays home all the time. deep down hates himself and overthinks what people are thinking of him. can remember him wearing shorts on a warm day and he made such a big deal out of whether he looked cool and better than others or would others be laughing at him.

[@terridillon3053]

My mother played the martyr

[@stuarttacey]

What attracted me at first to my narc ex gf was her perceived shy, quiet nature. It made me feel better to boost her up. It soon turned into jekyll and hyde with the explosive rage and tantrums. Coverts are extremely dangerous. She was so disturbed that when i discarded she bruised herself up. She had already been painting me as the bad guy to her family unbeknownst to me. Sick!

[@btlfilmmedia9514]

fcuk relationships its too much like hard work ...Ive no time for sifting out narcs

[@leontsiaousis2610]

My ex wife was one of these. I have gone no contact for 3 years now. I only saw the deception when it was too late. I had a nightmare divorce.

[@sebelzahntigerkind3923]

I am chilled to the bone marrow by having a covert narc 'mother' monster. No matter how much I'm already suffering, this THING can always keep kicking and punching at me to boot. Now that I've cut IT out of our lives, things are starting to appear 'normal' for the very first time in my life. Sadly that cost me my own destiny and health as well as sanity for over four decades. God only knows how He can place His very OWN and very BEST people to be raised by such apalling false snakes, making it very EASY indeed for the devil to do his destructive work on us.

[@taniaspence4879]

Amazing Paula, I absolutely love this space. The only other tactics I believe both types use, is really discreetly judge/label/look down upon. In my experience it’s done really early on and is a them and us kind of feeling, triangulating but it’s done ever so slightly and it could be toward the homeless, single parents, something on the news, an injustice ...... something that will superficially make you feel they have a godlike right to an opinion and it will be so tiny that you may let it slip or allow it. I don’t mean that they will speak badly it just depends how they believe you feel about that subject so they may even be supporting or seem to be defending but there’s normally something on the judgment scale. Maybe it’s a way of them playing detective with how we truly feel first. Basically they judge others, I believe it’s to make you feel there’s either another similarity (perhaps by choice we are more discerning) or to join forces so we feel a part of, its an ever so tiny hint of the brain washing that’s to build up the fog within us. It’s the beginning but I’ve noticed they all do it. Fear. Obligation. Guilt. F.O.G. We can feel we can fix their attitude with whatever judgment they hint at with just some understanding, compassion..... blah.... massive flag. Notice the judgment. Love to all in this beautiful tribe xxx

[@NarcCon]

Very subtle buildup agree thanks xx

[@TheCourageOfTruth]

Look and see - do they surround themselves with people who are “protective” of them? If so, this is not a genuine person.

[@katejudson8907]

Good point.

[@yvonnehanlon8939]

I delt with one and everyone kept feeling sorry and doing everything for them .they used to all run about to please but the person was never happy .everything in their life was worse than others according to them

[@jackpetersen7545]

Yvonne Hanlon,You look charming 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@mayakaren8036]

They are wolfs in Sheeps Clothing! that is how they come to you! he came as the Spiritual Healer, I am a very Spiritual Person, he wasnt any of that his mask slipped off to quickly!. Everything you said💯 then everything else came with it the stalking, harassing, triangulation smear campaings etc, Ty like your vids they are so helpfull, Blessed Weekend!♥✨

[@NarcCon]

Thank you Maya..have a great weekend too 🌹🙏

[@mayakaren8036]

@@NarcCon ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

[@mammabear4334]

How many narc's does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one to hold the bulb and the whole family to turn the house 😂 I have to laugh now

[@NarcCon]

😀🌹

[@RS-ww8jo]

How many narcs does it take to change a lightbulb? None because they use gaslighting Lol😂🙏🏼👍❤️

[@carolinemoore4869]

There very secrety with there phone, I always say ask them if you can borrow there phone because you left yours somewhere and watch there reaction in horror

[@Maria-cd5bz]

Hello from NYC! We are ok, glad to hear about this topic!

[@NarcCon]

Good to hear 😊

[@oscarbone1000]

Very enlightening,I was married to covert Narcissist.

[@garethjenkins1403]

Paula you just nailed the person I met 8.5 years ago. Step by step exactly as that. I sussed her out 9 months ago and have observed her and sussed her out and understood enough to partially recover. I tried to address what she does. Her victims are her mother and later more and more myself. I was hooked left right and centre. Two years ago she pulled away and her treatment of me became worse but kept pulling me back in. She joined a rowing group in Shaldon Devon and has spent her time duping them. She has a mask of the amazing smiling cake making for everyone, social sharing caring soul. They’ve bought all fully just as I did. I also row but the group is controlled by her and taken in by her mask. She pretends to be her mothers cater but in fact she is cruel to her and talks terribly to her putting her down all the time. In public she presents so differently mainly taking her on trips but things that the narcissist likes to do. All is for herself. Recently she became aware of my knowing what she is. I addressed parts of it gently to try and get her to change how she treats us. I’d addressed her treatment of her mother over the years. My cancer May of come back and my mum is also ill and as I’d sussed her she is less able to control or manipulate me. Intimacy was rationed as was contact and her hardness surfaced. I had cut her slack but always addressed her behaviour thinking it was selfishness but of late having sussed her I accepted less and she realised I knew what was going on. She knew it was now out there and although I believe she wasn’t fully ready to max out the effect of the discard she prematurely discarded by sending me a card in the post. She hasn’t spoken to me although it’s less than 3 weeks ago. I have luckily had the chance to prepare somewhat which has helped me deal with what I expected as the inevitable. It is still a shock but cushioned so Thai can accept reality sooner. I have had a luck escape. She is very very covert. Her mother says that she was very very shy as a child which she isn’t now and very sociable and will introduce herself and chat to anyone. She is very hard and cruel and totally self serving. Sarah will be peeved as she has been robbed of her fullest discard and is now acting as the hurt soul . I know that her past relationships all have gone the exact same way. I know she will trip over as she is just a facade and cannot help spitting out bits of her true self from time to time.

[@2009sonshine]

Spot on! You just described mine to a tee! I know when I do get up the resources to walk away I’ll look like the bad one but I’m ok with that. It’s amazing that in the beginning they exude what you believe is empathy only to find out that have zero compassion. A very devilish creature indeed. Love your content and it is helping me tremendously. Thank you

[@lynneivison5773]

Another ex narc friend - we had an exchange = I taught her art, she taught me piano. My piano lessons were mostly listening to her theories about life and the universe . 20 minutes I would get if I was lucky. She showed no interest in my progress, her teaching was psychoanalysing me in relationship to my family and my art work. I spent 2 hours teaching her art/English - I managed to get out by setting boundaries which she could not take. There have been so many narcs in my life. Therapy always said it was because I was sick and unhealthy - yes problems with boundaries but I am an empath.

[@happy_me12]

Perfect Detailing..!!💯

[@zitazita687]

Thank you Paula,soo correct again.xx

[@Jovi64]

My favorite topic..Thank you..❤👍

[@Jojohohoohoh]

Never a truer word has been said 💕💕Paula 💕💕👍

[@southernsierra9404]

So spot on Angel 😇

[@lisabarrow5]

This is done amazingly well!

[@NarcCon]

Thanks Lisa 🌸

[@karenflowers4079]

Wow, what I was with and family except for changing jobs. Good video.

[@jackulenehorn413]

You got mine right on! OMG! Just trying to process all of this!

[@NarcCon]

I know Jackulene..take your time it’s a lot to take in but freeing too 🌹

[@yvonnehanlon8939]

Good 1 another video of good advice stay well and safe x

[@NarcCon]

Thanks Yvonne I appreciate you and you stay safe too x 🌹

[@stinaseemer4811]

Thank you so much❤ this is the best channel for analyzing these individuals. I spent 15years with one as described above. A wonnabe architect who blackmailed me to build an annexe to my house for him and he also future faked to come and live with me to my country. When the house was built he called and broke up and was already in a relationship. And everyone liked him and they didn't believe me

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🙏🌹

[@teresakarr8328]

Not the shy one, too! Light and love.

[@annabecket788]

Spot on! 😍🤩

[@laciko12]

OMG this is exactly what happened to me word by word. " I am a mother of an 8 years old, divorced women, ..my father passed away last year...lots of crying.. I could never share this with anyone but you... my last ex was a maniac...he hurt me badly... Now I'm afraid of relationships...let's take it slow" . A pasiv behaviour I had to initiate every interaction...yet when I was discarded she became bold and very active with the new suply. No more shyness and being afraid. The mask of humbleness was not needed any more. Bare in mind my softening up lasted 6 month while we've been just friends... She was not " ready " for sex " I'm afraid you just use menfornsex and through me away " yet after 2 weeks of romantic relationship she jumped in my laps and did a show. Lots and lots of contradictions... Great job Paula

[@NarcCon]

🙏❤️

[@Jane-lx1nr]

I had this Mr Wonderful. The vacant, nobody at home look was so cold. Lazy The run up to sudden discard eye opening. My pic on his laptop was removed. My Bailey's drink poured away. This was 4 months of engaged/living with him and the mask slipping and that black eyes, still, eerie moment. To cocky/arrogant to victim. As the months passed after I was gang stalked by lots of women and believe he went with men too. Sounds crazy but true I'd wake up with scratches on my forehead. Itching shoulders, lights flickering. I believe he put something in my food or drink to make me sleepy. Proud of myself though as on my departure I told him he was a "coward" as he played victim card in front of his mum he'd called. Another weird one was she held my wrist gently as I was packing my car and that night it turned black Spiritually mind boggling stuff!

[@lorraineharvey3200]

Amazing description of my ex, god bless

[@NarcCon]

You too Lorraine blessings

[@redheadedscorpio7610]

Yep 100% I was with a covert

[@kurtm6345]

Thank you!

[@NarcCon]

Welcome!

[@terridillon3053]

It may not be their fault. But, they made choices. And didn't care that they crossed that line to NPD They rejected God. Blamed God.

[@NarcCon]

Yes Terri this is very true

[@twiggycat1000]

Thanks!

[@NarcCon]

Thank you so very much for such generosity the timing of which is extraordinary I very much appreciate your kindness 🌹🌹

[@JJ-dk1lr]

They will say all of the things that are important to you, those are important to them too. You will notice after a while that they do not show that any of those things are important to them and criticize you for asking why they didn't take care of something. Like you are trying to control their life in some way. Now you are seen as a devil that you are putting something into their awareness.

[@AlejandraSegura1]

Hello, everyone! Great video with very valuable information. It really really makes me ashamed to write this, but I think I possess many of these traits. I've only noticed I may be a covert narcissist a couple of months ago (even though I'm pretty sure I am). But, please, I want to change. I already go to therapy and also take meds for my depression and anxiety, but would really love any kind of advice that you can offer me to change my behaviors. Please! I really don't want to be like this anymore! Thank you very much.

[@NarcCon]

Coaching - [e-mail]

[@Richard-vq7ud]

My sick brother talks like a little shy, scared mouse. Everybody thinks he is a poor little thing. Underneath that act is a raging psychopath. He had a key to my house but i changed all the locks and want nothing to to with that creep, my only brother.

[@colmanlong1032]

Again so correct,have you ever seen them crack up,instead of trying to destroy someelse.Does it evere catch up with them.

[@NarcCon]

Every time

[@lynneivison5773]

An ex friend narc - seemed to have great integrity, honest, discreet when she stayed in my home as a B and B guest. Developed into a friendship for 6 months it was real fun. She is French I am English. After 6 months she began making derogatory remarks about the Queen - I told her I didn't like it but she didn't stop. Going out for Xmas, had looked forward to Mass for weeks - as I went out of the door she said 'do you really believe Mary was a virgin'? Then I could not say anything without her contradicting it. It is raining 'that is the drains' - literally tried to say my observations were not real. She actually would put in questions my observations about my home town in England. How did I put up with it for 8 years???

[@laurelvance5533]

Yep. All true

[@rozsa7828]

They do that but they said I would had rather pursued music than being a mother and got irritated when I got good at art so they said it was no good Wich shut me down from doing art for 20 yrs I was about eight or ten and I only realised now they did this because it made them uncomfortable to see someone enjoying something

[@elsie8966]

my covert at the beginning of my relationship with him said he hated swearing infront of women and he would never use the C word infront of me. 6 months later he was screaming at me and his favourite thing was your a little C..... your not getting anything whilst your being a C!

[@tracyleepautz1258]

Hi there... Truly loving your videos, thank you for all the clarity, it has been a rather damaging time, however picking myself up and being super strong. What are your thoughts on a Reiki Master who is a fully blown melange of mental disorders... The question running through my mind is which one came first? I've also had a look at Spiritual Narcissism? However this species is something else entirely!

[@NarcCon]

Ooh they love hiding behind spiritualism and healing genres as it’s a great in to people open to concepts etc 🌹

[@tracyleepautz1258]

@@NarcCon It's such a shame honestly. I was completely discarded, my name has been smeared everywhere possible. However I do know the truth eventually prevails, when least expected. I have learnt to forgive and bless.

[@hollyhergott9960]

Yep been on worship team in my church almost 4 years, the covert narcissist became the lead worship master so to speak by default, and she plays the piano, picks the worship and praise songs. She sent me up through gaslighting, and then the pastor ask what happened, and it was one on one covert, narcissist filtered what happened, talk to the pastor, and it was triangulation really bad I work so hard and she just gave me four songs a week new songs. Mostly I didn’t know and I would have to wait until like three days before to figure out what key people were singing in and I worked really hard, and I taught myself the music therory it was sneaky of her because I had no reference of how a music team should be handled and it was really weird. She would compete with me and all I was trying to do is get through it every week so I can play the guitar and sing. They wanted me to learn how to belt and I did not know how to so I was trying to not go crazy. I was very faithful and she would watch to see if I would take to step forward and then gaslight me and then take one step backwards and she would like punish me it was so under the radar and sick if you ask me and I didn’t know about Narcissis until late 2 1/2 years into it, and I just kept working on it and then finally I quit because the flying monkeys stayed on her side and she betrayed me well for six months I was ruminating but I was also picking up where I left off 30 years ago. I would be writing songs and so I just encouraged myself and kept writing songs talking to my friends that supported me and believe me in this narcissistic sickle thing but then God came through. He made me understand and I started going back because I had a genuine love for most of the congregation and they love me. So last week, pastors brother preached and he gave me a word of knowledge and it laid everything out there that it wasn’t my fault, because this covert sickle, narcissist pitted me and another woman we both play the guitar together and some other thing I mean she just used everything to blow it all up and then I found out later six months ago that they wrote an incident report on me and then never called me to ask me what was my side of the story that’s how strategic this woman worked it out and they still think she’s the humble shy person but I think things are turning around people were praying for me. I know things are gonna turn around so I can finish what the Lord has called me to do to sing and lead a praise and worship team, God bless you Paula I still need prayer, wisdom, insight and understanding so I can help others and pray for them too bless you 🎉 also, I am in my 60s and I’ve always seem to get betrayed, and for a long time I always seem to attract narcs😅

[@user-gj8pj1io8y]

My ex Narc loved a party, I knew where to find him after five minutes....over talking to the women!!!....don't most men talk to men...I guess not its pretty hard to flirt with men😂. He also mentioned many times about how its the quiet ones you have to watch( they were the sneaky ones fooling around with their friend's wife)just like he did. I am so happy to be out of all that crap. Life is beautiful now.😊

[@helenmcclay2622]

They like both

[@DrewNorton3712]

i was born and raised in New York but now i live in Los Angeles! i got tired of the cold weather but my family still lives there! they are used to it! New Yorkers are strong people! i like them but i have had enough of the cold weather!

[@NarcCon]

Love nyc never been to LA but I hear it’s a lovely lifestyle 😊

[@DrewNorton3712]

@@NarcCon - Hi Narc Con - yes New York is one of a kind but it is a tough, competitive city! i grew up in the suburbs of Westchester, New York but i know the city very well and have been there many times and many New Yorkers work there! as far as Los Angeles it a mess but I have had many opportunities to be in the movie business in New York and Los Angeles! My main problem is i am a veteran, i have been through a lot, i have some injuries and as i told you my mother is a 'demonic covert narcissist'! when you have been through some of the things i have been through the most important thing in your life can become 'feeling sane', 'understanding yourself' and understanding life and people! you have a great way of expressing who narcissists are and the spirituality of it! they only care about ego, power and money! i will not go down that path but i would say i definitely come from a narcissistic family filled with 'golden children', 'flying monkeys' and 'enablers'! my family is a complete narcissist package! i have heard many good things about Ireland and the scenery in your videos is amazing! it is sad that narcissists are everywhere in the world causing chaos! it proves that what you say is true! if these 'people' are all around the world and they all go by the same 'playbook', they must all be of the same spirit! a demonic spirit!

[@johangroot4641]

Bewere also with move and house referbishing when it is ready you can get away and they say we don´t have time

[@katejudson8907]

OMG, just realised this friend I am wondering if she is covert narc did exactly that to a mutual friend. And then played the victim with me for months when that mutual friend stopped contact for several months. Wow.

[@JKDMatrixWorkout2]

Keep up the great work, the world of the empaths are two different worlds, narcs world-vice evil. Empath world- light. The qualities are two different worlds. Narc came to steal, kill, destroy The empath gone super star nova-came to save, teach enlightmentd,and save humanity, this is the truth SuperEmpath. One came to kill, the other to save. Also, I believe God test a man before he give him the kingdom of heaven on earth, the powers of attraction, the real treasures

[@NarcCon]

Thank you for your encouragement 💓🌹

[@pamtaylor2165]

You look LOVELY!

[@NarcCon]

Wow thanks Pam 😊

[@nycjanedoe]

You have described me at the start of getting to know someone, which confuses me because I'm empathic and attuned and have survived terrible abuse by overt and covert narcissistic traited people who still deny responsibility. I was somewhat relieved to hear that this could describe someone getting to know someone else in a healthy relationship as well. Surely a person can have genuinely survived repeated abuse in multiple relationships and have a sad life and also be looking for for signs that someone is a safe person with whom they can share their story. After watching this, I am not clear what distinguishes a covert narcissist from a sincere and self-reflective wounded person who has, for example, been scapegoated by their family over the course of many decades. I realize the wounding and resulting behaviors are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and too, are not narcissistic traited persons incapable of self-reflection?

[@theforensicbadass]

Hi Paula. How would we survivors then go about getting involved w another healthy person if the shy narcissist is so similar to we survivors? I've not dated over 2.5 yrs. Still not ready yet...but... Would love to understand better when I am ready. I have a very hard past of childhood and narc abuse intimate. Some of the things you describe are healthy. Having respect or what appears to be so. Respecting boundaries or what appears so. Doing a lot of work for charity or what appears to be. Being compromising or what appears to be. Being supportive...ect ? Gosh its so confusing to even go out on the dating scene w a survivor background, let alone know whos healthy whos not. Right down to our families. Because I'm full NC w my family who'd throw me under a moving train if they could. Could you please address the difference in a new series? Thank you for your help.

[@randallbrinkman2570]

They are like christmas packages , the packaging may be beautiful , may be bold , may be sharp , or humble dainty , no one expects someone would leave a venomous snake nicely wrapped under the tree ! . My ex , sweet , warm , gentle . Charming, likeable . .But once involved , no matter what you do for them , and you do everything , no it's never quite enough , also what happens is everything becomes your fault , maybe there afternoon trist didnt pan out , you come home from work to a cold shoulder , left to wonder what happened , what you did ? and let them be or else , they can quickly become abusive overtly narcissistic , and just as quickly dismiss it as though it never happened . Darren Magee does a great video on the vulnerable narcissist wife. Lol , it was as though he followed me around for 30 years . The package has no relevance to the contents ! Great Video Paula . We may be in the valley of Hinnom right now , A horrid place , giants , that consumed ,and wanted served much as the corporate giants today , And the drums beat loud in Tophet , to drown out the child sacrifices , much wailing , and gnashing for pain , abortions today , in the name of happiness, prosperity , sacrificed as they were then to false Gods , a few are mentiined they were among the fallen that seen the daughters of men were fair , they were perceived as little gods . Molech , Chiun, Mammon , god of greed and everything selfish , and self serving , and as the drums beat , we have entertainment today . And the fires of consumerism burn , and the sacrifices go on , if they arent aborted, they are left to their own latch key kids , neglected as parents busy getting ahead , or in some cases just to get by . And physcopaths are given the reigns to guide the giants , and sell the corporate mandate , and define success . The refuse was dumped there , and carcasses of dead beasts dumped there , fires continually burnt , and the acrid stench hung in the air , air the breath of life ? God parted the sea , He can part this , He can part the heavens ! The narcissist loves it this way .

[@randallbrinkman2570]

@@danicastein7660 Yes they have very selective memories, and easily slighted ! They play , and decieve everyone , and we do have that power , go neutral , and move on , knowing you are no longer among the decieved . That's a great crowd not to be part of ! It took time for me , now what at the time seemed , the end of the world , was with out doubt the greatest event in my life . They cant rob me of my peace , and joy anymore . Some adopt the good riddance position , I can understand that . Myself , I see it as a tragedy for them, living a illusion. , is not living . We deal with pain , sorrow , rejection, but also experience joy , victory , and contentment . They have none of that , only fear , envy , anger , and hatred . That's a horrible life ! There is a story about a good Samaritan, it is a great example of helping others , but maintaining your own boundaries . He gave enough, but not to much . He helped but went about His own business . Narcissists demand way more than is necessary !

[@lindavincent678]

It’s really strange my narc grew up with my brother

[@carlottaherring6890]

This doesn't make sense about a narc being humble. How many types of fake evil people are there? Wth does anyone else think this is madness? I'm running off to a convent, that's it I'm sick of these people. How can you be open to anyone these days? You should share things if you have a team of evil people gang stalking you because their goal is to keep you quite. No more do I bite my tongue that's what made me a target my whole life. Speak your truth people who gives a darn if they label you a fricken humble narc. You and God knows the truth. Don't let manipulation tactics hinder you. Trust no man only God you can count on. Thanks ma'am. Good info to put out.

[@NarcCon]

Just a humble mask Carlotta 😊🙏

[@carlottaherring6890]

@@NarcCon thanks I tend to miss understand things so I ask when I get lost. I get it now. Lol 😆 dahh

[@BooThing14]

My internal narrative, like if in my head I'm talking to someone sounds like a covert narc. Im certain im not, Im divorcing the covert narc. My life has been very hard and its mostly stuff done to me. I also seemy failure to be able to stand against and care and fight for myself. I also feel like I carried our marriage...if I describe events I can see where I could have done something to warrant the attacks against mebut I cannot find my offense in my memory. I worry that i.blind to my own transgressions against people, that I have deserved whats been said and done to me. This just confused me....i don't want to rumminate but my life has been so painful...my marriage is over and I look back an see how my very existence has offended these people. I search my heart and feel that I sincerely loved and believed in these people. They were a church and pastoral family. I was never good enough...

[@theoracle5265]

I've been through what I wouldn't wish on an enemy, but based on what your saying Paula how on earth will any man be real enough to get past the fear and paranoia to have a chance ?

[@NarcCon]

For me Steve these people are the exception and not the rule, they are so much easier to detect with the ‘knowledge’ 😊

[@theoracle5265]

@@NarcCon I understand that, I've had a Narc try to mirror me once she discovered what was important to me, and the radar went up and I knew what she was and what she was trying to do.

[@prettypenne662]

Mine was covert

[@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190]

Aloha from Honolulu. Let us know family is ok.🙏

[@NarcCon]

Hi Karen..all good thanks for asking 😊

[@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190]

@@NarcCon Please pray for my friends in the Gulf Coast area. Expecting another miracle.

[@DrTechMedRevolution]

Described her to a tee

[@jackgoodings]

Theyll get tired, have micro sleeps. And they'll avoid eye contact when you're looking at them in a 'seeing' / 'connecting' way. And you want to help them, and involve them in what you're doing, and tailor your time to them (which is the start to you serving them and positioning yourself below them unwittingly)

[@naspa2790]

For so very long I thought it was me. That I was imagining uncomfortable feelings. My gut told me something was off. But the shy, affectionate covert loved me so so much. Lied to me so so much. Because of my busy job and complicated life I didn’t have time to figure him out. But that uncomfortable gut feeling of something off was always present. Why did it seem too good to be true? Because it was. After far too many tears and anger at being so used I moved his belongings into a storage locker and left the key with his son, along with a short letter (that he refused to read. Of course… but his son did.) His friends do not know each other. He tells each one a different version and there’s no way of fact checking. His neighbor friends in FL are his new flying monkeys and feel sorry for him. He uses them in every way possible. I’m relieved to have him gone. But the pain he inflicted on me by using and psychologically abusing me will take a while to work out of my system. This video was the most accurate of the psycho I was dealing with. Thank you Paula.

[@quabot]

Upon hearing “mask,” I was like, “Are we talking “covert” or “covid”?

[@quabot]

PS: Warning sign #1 CN: I was traumatized. Me: I know the feeling. CN: It’s not about you.

[@pamaylward]

THIS is my ex. Thank you Paula!

[@dawnemile4974]

They go above and beyond in their niceness. I just thought that such a good looking person could not be that humble unless they were living under a rock. Before long she told me that she was ill treated in her step family. I asked her if she was like Cinderella and she said yes. Obviously I was not that sympathetic but it was a hook.. I became suspicious when she began to not keep her promises to meet and talk. She would just come by and say she had to rush home to her new boyfriend although she was the one who had suggested meeting.

[@nickname1236]

O snap I did move a lot I do trying to match energy of others so I'm difrent with difrent people I like my private life private, stay oway ruff ruff