The Simplest Way To Spot Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[@JohnSmith-ji7xt]

It is a spectrum, but if someone can't really apologize for something they did wrong, leave. They won't change.

[@philmessina476]

Yes, there must be accountability in a relationship because it takes two people making an effort to develop a healthy bond. Without accountability, the relationship is one-sided and, likely, unhealthy.

[@JohnSmith-ji7xt]

@@philmessina476 amen!

[@Ayan_Ali.3]

What should i do when we cant leave him coz of some reason and kids.

[@Laurendoesflips]

:( im experiencing this with someone who i care about a lot.

[@Laurendoesflips]

@@laakins my kids dad called me names abd threw my keys and hes not wrong in his mind. Its nuts.

[@Free-bt6gn]

If you see one, run do not walk away as fast as possible. Any type of relationship with a narcissist will suck the life right out of you.

[@ek4635]

True words.

[@dogblues4829]

Real talk

[@livinglifejaybyjay3063]

True

[@bevandted]

I'm in this boat 18 yrs living w one

[@barrywatts803]

It's to late for me I have 3 kids and a mortgage before I was sure she is a narccassist!! What can I do! To make it worse i have a sensitive personality. I just don't know what to do!!

[@herewardthewatchful1014]

Narcissists are very unforgiving people. They hold a grudge for years, and will remind you daily.

[@herewardthewatchful1014]

Even if you tell them you are a born again Christian... Doesn't matter, your past defines your future according to their score card.

[@shaniecegullison]

Absaloutely

[@TheMar0115]

They don’t care. They’re hateful and they instigate and hold grudge forever.

[@herewardthewatchful1014]

@Mena Skywalker- I fully agree with you on future sins. But we are talking about past sins of repentance here.

[@herewardthewatchful1014]

@Mena Skywalker - Never said it was anything sinful I did to my partner. I met her after my conversion. I just simply shared with her the man I used to be before I knew the Lord. One key hangup that narcissists have is they will ask you about you past, and use it as ammo to condemn you forever.

[@ioanadestro7244]

The easiest way to spot a narcissist is to see his first reactions of your success in which he didn't help at all. If he's not able to be happy for you and can't stand your joy, he is a narcissist.

[@dieseldejavu]

Ioana Destro ex gf CN was same. She would say “way to go” and that’s it. Never again mentioned. No sharing news with her circle, no SM posts, no reminiscing about later. Just brushed under the rug.

[@ThejeffJr8]

He or she dude 🤦‍♂️

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

Allow me to put myself out there for a second... I haven't been officially diagnosed as NPD, but it wouldn't surprise me (given my extensive research) that I would fall into the vulnerable side of things there. I fit all nine traits of NPD according to the DSM-5 to some degree, but they are largely relegated to thoughts and feelings. As far as I know, I don't act like a narcissist, but if I do have NPD, then I will have no way of knowing this for sure, as there is a great degree of insight impairment with the clinical disorder. Nevertheless, I can say as a narcissist that what you say is quite true. If someone is unflattered (or even drained) by the success of another, they are high in narcissism. We think differently from neurotypicals, and our brains interpret the success of others as a potential detractor from the appreciation of other human beings. While merely annoying to someone with moderate narcissism, someone like me sees this as a pointless existential challenge from another person. I know I've been saying this a lot on videos about narcissism, and frankly I feel like I'm running around like a moron at this point to pander for attention, but please ask me about this condition if you have any questions. Right from the source, eh?

[@rociolovesalex]

Ioana Destro yeah, I totally get to his. I made the deans list one semester and everyone congratulated me, on except him. He said, “oh cool”

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

@Oftin Wong Never said anything about it being a problem. It's an effective, efficient defense construct. If some of these folks didn't have this method acting personality to handle things, they'd be non-functioning. It's whatever, really; an impersonal piece of academic information. If anything, it would be testament to my uniqueness, since the full clinical form of this personality construct is quite rare. The fact I was given an Aspergers diagnosis over a decade narrows things down, since the two are often confused (and with good reason). The clearest differences come with the attitudes, sensory tolerances, degree of selfishness, empathy deficits, and psychological defenses, but they otherwise manifest in very similar ways. I wouldn't be shocked or existentially ruined if I got a note saying I have NPD. Like I said, academic knowledge.

[@CoachTaniaWFC]

I’m just going to have a great and loving relationship with myself.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Tania M,your pretty smile can make the news!

[@rebeccapack519]

Made me actually laugh out loud-thank you. Great idea 🥳

[@chanelgrace1873]

Feels

[@Shermccarthy]

Me too!!

[@jeffrman777]

This alone is actually much easier said than done, especially if you were raised by narcissistic parents.

[@coralrain6332]

A psychopath will steal your wallet and run. A narcissist will steal your wallet and help you find it...

[@RashedaF]

Coral Rain lol lol ur killing me😹😹😹😹

[@robinbrum]

Brillant.

[@iGavid_Doggins]

Total misinterpretation!

[@jenniferdale372]

That is the best analogy I've ever heard.

[@goodgracious6364]

By the same token, a psychopath will steal your wallet and say, "So what!" A narcopath will steal your wallet and say, "You gave it me!"

[@thejasonbischoff]

I have no idea how anyone ever has any relationships anymore.

[@katemate2696]

thejasonbischoff I have been thinking the same thing & I have been too scared to enter into another relationship.

[@reneepaulson9682]

You will attract what you put out in the world.

[@thejasonbischoff]

Renee Paulson don’t project your self-centered narcissism on me.

[@Freedomquest08]

I've had a couple year + relationships since my narc ex. (current one is 2.5 years). It isn't the same anymore. Now that my heart's blind trusting naivety is dead, I can no longer give or feel the depth in a relationship I used to because I'm unable to unconditionally trust anyone.

[@lrrrruleroftheplanetomicro6881]

@@Freedomquest08 I've got the same problem since a histrionic woman.

[@dieseldejavu]

Dated 2. Common traits I noticed that may help you spot a covert narcissist: love bombing makes you feel like they are a soul mate, then a push/pull dynamic from week to week that comes out of no where, an odd distance/ coldness/ aloof behavior.

[@erismiracle9779]

True it’s not the lack of empathy but their empathy fluctuates.. which left me very confused.. thank you for pointing this out. It’s so important!!

[@loreleihebdon6595]

The FRIST thing I noticed is this blank stare when you're talking to them.. It really gave me a weird feeling. That was definitely a red flag🚩

[@tnt01]

Yes, creepy.

[@sherifitzgerald6886]

Yeah that stare. You're an amoeba viewed via a microscope. Clinical cold assessing eyes...

[@tonialbrecht3567]

OMG so true. The stare. Un yeilding eye contact. Every narcissist I know does this. It's a huge red flag yes!!!!

[@caribind3]

You'll also get that stare if you disagree with ANYTHING they say, along with the most contemptuous sneer you could ever imagine.

[@wayneelliott1180]

Another is incessant babbling about themselves - me,me,me! I had one who carried on for two solid hours then asked me: "What were you doing at 25 years of age?" She then didn't listen to the response and returned to her favourite subject before I could get two sentences out.

[@aprildelacerda4257]

Please speak on covert narcissist. These people are so dangerous because it takes decades to put your finger on their abuse.

[@aidahiser5965]

Yes, decades.....divorced my covert narcissist husband after 36 years!!!! It was awful!

[@trisharundle1964]

@@aidahiser5965 nearly 17 years with me im finding hard to cope with all emotional abuse 7 weeks free now. How did you cope. After all them years.

[@jacquikk181]

April Delacerda 0

[@janishart5128]

​@@aidahiser5965: I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you, after such a long time! NOBODY deserves to be treated this way by these people, especially when we didn't do anything to them! I hope you will be able to recover from this horrible trauma very soon! It also happened to me, after 23 years together - and like you, it took me decades to see what he was after he left me suddenly a year ago! No warning, no discussion, no hint of any kind - he just had a pair of idiots he knows come into our house while we were out babysitting our grandchild at my daughter and son-in-law's place, and move him into an apartment. This, after telling me all summer that we "couldn't afford" to go on day trips anywhere or buy anything other than groceries - we were living pay check to pay check! He also left me a nasty, lie-filled note outlining all my faults and saying that that list is "just the tip of the iceberg"!! I just believed all the lies he told me over the years because he had been good friends with my late husband and his family. He left his ex-wife suddenly the same way, except he left her with children. He gave me 2 differing stories over the years about how he left her, so I suspect neither is true!! As I think back over the years, there were a lot of strange things he told me that didn't make sense, but I just let them go, to keep the peace, because he couldn't handle being questioned about anything. He was always the victim!!

[@holyohnobutwait7260]

Aida Hiser that’s my current fear. I’ve been with my husband (always imagined he would be the only one) for over 10 years, married a little short of 6 years. His patterns have become closer in time, such that I believe he is a covert narcissist. Worst of all he admits he says hurtful mean things to me just to hurt me ... then later says he only said that bc “he thought that’s what I wanted to hear”! Who wants to hear their husband would say mean things just to hurt you?!? Logic is lost on him unless he has “time” to rehearse his speech or rebuttal. I’m sick. I refuse to spend years more with an emotionally abusive person, even if he can “play nice “ for long periods of time. The intervals of that grow shorter and shorter. That is why I mentioned that I see the patterns. Additionally, he classically will blame me, say I interrupt him constantly, but he doesn’t want conversation only speeches & I should hold my questions until the end (which never occurs). Sorry everyone for the long post :/

[@sharrose7594]

Constant bragging and never satisfied with what they have, expecting things of others they should do for themselves

[@minalrajshakha3621]

yes! well put

[@indigoblue9194]

That is very true. My daughter has been a victim of one.

[@lizbethdiehl318]

Sharon Cecil Wow! This one definitely resonated with me. Thanks for sharing.

[@christinahite74]

My Father!!!! Now he is older its worse

[@joro3038]

Nailed it.

[@thepuppetboyzjr.5589]

Narcissism is the desire to take away another’s free will.

[@lindastone3278]

The Puppet Boyz Jr. My ex said he wished I was blind and deaf and he could just put me on a shelf and come get me when he wanted me.

[@thepuppetboyzjr.5589]

Linda Stone that’s typical of a narcissist. I’m glad that you left him. You are a strong woman!!!!! I left mine, too....

[@aidahiser5965]

@@lindastone3278 WOW!!!!

[@thewolf14]

85% of NPD are male. I got an A on that question. There is likely a sadist folder of torture porn so youve been warned.

[@rose4490]

@@lindastone3278 that's just plain evil! How long did it take you to leave after he said that to you?

[@janethomas78]

I think once somebody has to hurt others in order to feel special is THE REAL PROBLEM

[@Ryan.j.Smithson]

yep especially when they tell everyone they were the ones that were hurt by the actual victim and everyone is blind and shames the victim as the abuser.

[@janethomas78]

@@Ryan.j.Smithson Thank You!

[@jacquelinemanzano9328]

A narcissist is like a toddler with a loaded gun, its their way or no way.

[@heliaalves9062]

Ain't that the truth!

[@jacksonworktv5922]

How it should be 😂

[@rick3747]

I may make a tshirt with those words of wisdom. Ty.

[@jacquelinemanzano9328]

@@rick3747 Please do, it will gain alot of attention.

[@angelinag.woodruff8378]

jacqueline manzano Ha! Great analogy.

[@jondough679]

There can be no relationship with a person with NPD its all about them. Just get out before they damage you to the extent you are of no use to them anymore and discard you.

[@ccmyart]

Too late.

[@aprildelacerda4257]

Educate cluster b , yes the discard! It’s a blessing if you can get out with your sanity. They will lie till the very end. It doesn’t matter what you change about yourself, they will change the goal post every damn time.

[@staciwhite4276]

Educate cluster b I used my narcissist’s discard of me as a means to go no contact. She was super pissed a few years later when she figured out she’d permanently lost a source of supply! I’m her daughter, so I have to let her run my life, right? That’s her logic, anyway.

[@GreenBeretChristianity]

Amen to that! And that's where psychology professional totally drop the ball. My experience is, they wanted to help me and my "wife" find a way to make the marriage work, because we came to them for that purpose. But, in hindsight, . . . that was all a game. One of the many excursions down insane lane to extract money from my resources and play games with my head and the hope that things could eventually be repaired. . . . if not by some miracle. And the shrinks all sat across from us and played referee and middle men / women giving lame and inexperienced feedback. Because they failed to see the master manipulator and covert games. A true Narc is demon possessed and functions as a superior in society, having everyone fooled. The hardest part about all of it for me, was the inability to wrap my head around the intent behind the things she would do. I kept chalking the events up to some type of "mental illness" or early childhood trauma. . . .and although this was true. . . .this perspective is the "empath's" excuse to remain hopeful and misapply the biblical truth that "love conquers all." --- when in this case. . . that's the perfect foolishness to be psychologically drugged, dehumanized and brought so low you can't see your head from your toes. The chaos sneaks up on you and before you can get out, your strength and reason are toast. Shrinks don't get it. And the seriousness of the danger of not getting out of this type of relationship can mean the difference between life and death. Many many men and women commit suicide, are falsely imprisoned, and all are set up to have every sacred thing pissed on, and all of their life's assets and resources consumed. And the "Narc" is so sadistically driven that it gives them orgasms to feel the pain they cause others.

[@shawnadeyo]

Exactly because then it's not really a relationship anyways. They are selfish people who don't care about ANYONE but themselves.

[@unapologeticallyexoticalElla]

Living with them is a nightmare i rather be alone forever than be with him.

[@nancyfahey7518]

I clicked on this video to simply spot any narcissistic traits coming out in me. It took years to change my abusiveness and don't want to slide back. Abuse is abuse. Don't let anyone tell you what to do, what to say, make you feel bad. The blame game is a big one. Know someone for at least a year before marrying. My parent was one, taught me to be one, my sister is one. I didn't know any better. But I lived in such misery and made people around me so miserable that I decided to change. And it took the better of 30 years. Now we are all pretty happy and free.

[@lizzy1974]

KEEP AWAY FROM THESE SOULLESS BEINGS. THEY ARE INHUMAN. THEY LEAVE DAMAGE. I AM STILL RECOVERING AFTER 5 YEARS OF BEING AWAY FROM THE NARC!

[@tnt01]

How long were you with him?

[@lizzy1974]

@@tnt01 3 and a half years. Like I say though they leave a mark on you afterwards!

[@tnt01]

@@lizzy1974 Yes, I am aware. You will get better :)

[@tomprice3258]

Pure evil.

[@lorainepage9601]

9 years for me

[@stephaniefoster8009]

My sister and mother are narcissistic people. They get pleasure out of my pain. Absolutely no remorse or compassion for anyone other than themselves

[@YucanGo2Hell]

Go no contact, it is going to get worse. The end game is they want to destroy you both mentally and physically. I am speaking from experience. There are many great videos to help. This isn't one to help you heal. Or too show you how to shut it down.

[@YucanGo2Hell]

Please check out The Little Shaman, she is one of many that helped me break my trauma bond.

[@stephaniefoster8009]

Brian, I finally went no contact about 7 months ago!!!! And my Dad finally got divorced from my mom too!!! Yes going no contact is truly the only way from being intangled in their web. I am still getting the blame for everything. I always say I could be living in Venezuela and in a comma, and somehow they'd still blame me for everything. It's really too bad because now one of my nieces is acting the same way. So I've endured enough abuse and didn't want my own children to suffer.

[@lovegoddess29]

Same here! Ugh!

[@stephaniefoster8009]

Brent Bee that is a really good analogy!

[@strawberriesblueberries2258]

I met a narcissist that tried to control me through embarrassment.

[@15gilsonrd]

Strawberries Blueberries I laughed out loud at this! Story of my life with my husband. At first I was embarrassed and hurt-Now I attack. 👍🏼

[@narcicide8814]

Yep. They won't stop humiliating you publicly until you submit to their useless ways. The way they do it is so stupid, like a child pointing their finger at you over something miniscule that you may or may not have done (usually it's nothing), like wearing an outfit they hate and they will use it to exploit you until you change that outfit so that they are pleased. I lived through something like this. They really are the epitome of shit.

[@brittanyb5942]

Mine did that too!!

[@devilsoffspring5519]

Parents like to do that shit. Even ones that probably don't qualify as actual narcissists and have plenty of empathy & thoughtfulness toward other people. They think they're being 'cute'.

[@johow1518]

Yep, it's pretty typical behaviour

[@D4nisworld]

They have very low self esteem and very me me me attitude they need seek praise attention all the time which is their fuel and keeps them going. They think they have a right above everyone else to instantly reprimand others if they commit a minor trivial mistake and are constantly looking for mistakes in others to put them down.

[@nhgriff1]

They think rules don't apply to them.

[@leahwilson542]

My mil embodied.... so exhausting! My husband is worth dealing with it though

[@mariesoto569]

My ex and his mother. The whole family

[@bivaanjaigurung6414]

Couldn’t agree more🙌🏻

[@hobbs3424]

so true!!

[@milachyc88]

I really enjoyed the video, my ex bf is a narcissist, selfish, only his needs to be met, no empathy, nothing. I'm so glad i'm out, it was a constant emotional abuse, never good enough. Now I can breath "fresh air"

[@Sabrina-7728]

To anyone out there who is married or in a relationship with a narcissist run and don't look back!. They will destroy every fiber in your soul. I live with one for over 20years and am not the same person as I used to be. Planing my escape...

[@Anomalouzs]

What needs to happen is you need to leave and watch their house burn down when you havea new life. Hopefully htey are maimed or killed from fire or smoke. If they survive do it again.

[@brianamarie524]

It's hard. Be careful.

[@Ryan.j.Smithson]

same for me 23 yrs but hard for men to run from covert wife with 2 young daughters o can know way leave behind and get destroyed at the same age it happened to my wife from her Narc mother getting divorce witholding her father from her and her sister being told there father didn't love them and abandoned them. when really she was the one who threw him away for her high school boyfriend. just like my wife did me except it was for our next door neighbor whom was also her best friends husband and blamed me when she was a stay at home mother and I was killing myself running and building my business and dealing with the death of my best friend I was also blamed for absurdly bc I made him move out when I caught him doing heroin in our bathroom and wasn't going to risk my daughter finding him dead. was a good call bc his little brother did find him dead overdosed just like i feared but still got blamed and my fault for wife aswell somehow.

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years husband cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK. Contact this Sage Hacker via Gmail (encrypteddevicehacker )Text and speak to him directly on phone or Telegram [phone]. Thank me later.

[@timothytrudgen8881]

@@Ryan.j.Smithson don't assume she is a Narc in this case. It may be limerence. If she was in a bad place bc of all the stuff going on for u, she may have fallen for this guy. When good people cheat, their personality changes and she may get over it. Look up "limerance Marriagehelper.com"

[@ravenel2]

I once met someone with NPD that was so extreme that I’m actually grateful for the experience. It was so extreme that I could see objectively what was happening, and I wasn’t hurt badly by it. It made me read everything about NPD, and was like, yes!! This is future faking!! Here’s the devaluation stage!! This is baiting!! It was almost comical, and very liberating. Because an earlier experience with a very subtle narcissist caused me much grief, confusion, and doubting myself.

[@susanthomas9610]

Spot on

[@susanthomas9610]

I agree with B above spot on

[@PeterShaw-ne1yq]

Something similar - they are soulless actors shaking their mark down to the max

[@Countofmontechristo777]

Ditto

[@cynthiaallen9225]

Great explanation. I've met a few and the occasional empathy threw me off. They can also imitate empathy.

[@deethegardengirl]

My boss fakes empathy. It's disgusting.

[@SilenceStabber]

@@deethegardengirl My sister never shows empathy, when she did, I just laughed in my head... so fake...

[@aarongerig9223]

They can fake cognitive empathy. Basically just act out the physical actions of empathy. But they don’t actually feel it. My covert narc mom has had her mask slip in that department many times. Usually its when her fake empathy response is way overboard, like she over sold it. Or sometimes under sell it. Since it isn’t a genuine feeling. Also she never seemed to understand how humor works. She literally watches the ppl around her laughing in a funny moment and just copies their level of laughing. Kinda like she is trying to learn how to do it.

[@brettneuberger6466]

One of the best in-a-nutshell explanations of narcissism I’ve heard. Fits perfectly with my experience. Thanks!

[@CraigMalkin]

Thanks so much!

[@1MikeDoe6]

I mean he really hit home didn’t he... Thank you sir.. so much..

[@kathrynscarano5310]

Concise, clear and comforting; your question at the end "Are you safe?" , cuts through any confusion, uncertainty brought on by gaslighting or rationalizations. Thank you for taking time to make this. Great to hear your work again.

[@CraigMalkin]

Thanks so much!

[@kellyleighread807]

I wasn't. He was so brutal that , now my grown children are in therapy for narcsissist abuse. Me I have PTSD. Having to tried to take my life twice, we were NEVER safe. Rage & the silent treatment were his favorite tool's he welded. Each of us wondering "What did I do?".

[@deborahrobertson8606]

Thank you. Brief outlines are helpful. Often people talk for too long. Understanding narcissism helped me protect myself from a lifelong abusive sibling relationship. I've been terrified of her for over 50 years and full of horror and anger at her behaviour and slander. It's desperately sad, but protecting myself is my no 1 objective. We have no contact now. And it's such a relief and freedom.

[@janecourtenay3676]

My mother was a covert narcissist. I didn’t work this out until I was in my 50’s. All I wanted was to be friends with my mother, but to no avail. I didn’t cry when finding out she had died ... nearly six months later.

[@jurejo]

Sometimes people manage to kill our love for them.

[@janecourtenay3676]

Yes, jurejo, they do. From a very young age I always tried to protect my mother because she constantly complained how terrible her life was with a bad husband and five children. Effectively I was her older sister and would try to make things easier for her. And only ever wanted her to be my friend. But all through my life I’d have people like my sisters-in-law telll me she was always saying bad things about me. Then when we holidayed together overseas I realised just how she had manipulated me emotionally and we had an argument, for which she never forgave me (we are talking 1986 here). Much later on she threatened to take me to the Supreme Court for not agreeing to something she wanted to do. She stalked me, wrote vile letters and disowned me. As a consequence I didn’t contact her for a couple of years, but then thought: she’s my mother, she’s old, and she could die without us making peace. So I contacted her and would ring her weekly and have chat. Then she disappeared and the rest of the family wasn’t allowed to tell me where she was. So that’s when I decided I couldn’t do this anymore and I needed to move on. No more tears for me. A few years passed. Then I found out from relatives overseas that she’d died six months before they wrote sending condolences. So there you are - my mother, the classic narcissist. She died about three years ago and I have not shed a single tear. (Sorry for the long comment, I guess I’m still really angry with her for her cruelty.)

[@KYRA_FX]

I don't think I'll cry when my narcissist mother dies either. I feel nothing for her but despise

[@merrilymunson5010]

@@kelliewaring9158 first of all narcissistic personality disorder is not a mental illness it's a personality disorder secondly when you have been emotionally abused your entire life by your mother it's very easy to understand not shedding a tear I too found out my mother passed away after the fact and I was unable to cry I'm certainly not a millennial I'm a senior citizen and I didn't come to grips with this until I was in my sixties so be careful with your judgmental attitude.

[@pegasus5148]

Jane Courtenay; my mom is narc too! Went no- contact with her and was the best thing. So much happier now. They are demons.

[@starfishsystems]

It's understandable that people who have been mistreated by a narcissist will want to call out the various aspects of mistreatment that they've experienced. We see a lot of that in the comments on these KZbin videos. It's good, it's part of the healing process to separate from the narcissist. But it rarely provides a complete or objective picture of the narcissist. I deeply appreciate the efforts of practitioners to share their broader and more disinterested perspectives on this matter. We want sooner or later to be able to move on from our toxic experience, which means that we no longer have to demonize the narcissist nor exonerate narcissistic behavior. We can come away with a stronger affinity for healthy relationships and a greater awareness of the signs of exploitative ones.

[@rld8258]

Facts

[@MelaninMagdalene]

Narcs accusing people of being narcs to later play victim for supply.

[@martierenville6592]

Exactly.

[@shirleygeorge9821]

Melanin Magdalene I agree, the last narc ex I was involved with did exactly that...all the time play the 'victim', he never was and still never is accountable. He's been living that life for so many years, he's an Expert.

[@oliviaperryman8622]

Gaslighting 🙄 I don’t miss that!

[@tracydriver460]

IV gone cold turkey for the past week. I have a few NARCS around me, I have just purformed a spell on two of them today. I will keep you posted if I receive any results. Keep safe. Run and don't look back. Xx

[@frhwebmaster]

Nearly 9 years with a female Narc. She literally nearly killed me by (encouraging me to take enough meds to die) - Come to think about it, her entire family has some sort of mental illness like schizophrenia to sex addictions to heavy alcohol use and drug use. I'm so glad that I am away. The female Narcs are the hardest to pinpoint, especially when they are covert. I feel oh so sorry for the dogs that I left behind.

[@christopherd6399]

Someone else is always the narcissist. I'm glad you mentioned we all deal with the tendency at some level. It's great to know the definition to help check ourselves.

[@christopherd6399]

@@Nicole-vw2iy "we all deal with the tendency at some level." That's a pretty broad statement, isn't it? And it does not necessarily include NDP. There's no argument here. I know what the said.

[@christopherd6399]

@@Nicole-vw2iy I didn't say he said that. That was my statement.

[@christopherd6399]

@@Nicole-vw2iy also, you're not perfect, and you should be in the habit of ensuring your response to people is not hurtful. We sometimes operate with blind spots, created from our own selfishness.

[@louisaisthankful4603]

Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder NEVER checks themselves, They find themselves to be perfect in every way.

[@PeterShaw-ne1yq]

@@louisaisthankful4603 some are narcissistic but not controlled by it🤔

[@realaimeerose]

That was a great video, of the many many videos I've watched on this subject you are the first one to add that bit at the end about not getting caught up in diagnosing the situation but instead assessing your well being/safety ahead of the rest. It's so so imperative to start very simple when extracting from abuse, as part of the trauma comes in the form of confusion and self doubt. Great video.

[@pauladsilva9374]

Your article was one of the first I saw on Fb that resonated with the insanity I was going through...I stayed in this cruel interaction for another year after that. I am abuse free for a year now... thank you 😊

[@CraigMalkin]

You're so welcome!

[@AlmostLakai94]

🙏🙏🙏

[@grumpycheerleader]

Thank you for the clarity around abuse. If you are being abused don’t get caught up in diagnosing the cause, just get help to get safe.

[@TheShanshuprophecy]

Thanks for touching on the dis/appearance of empathy - I think having seen empathy in the beginning (although it was admittedly dramatic ) .. the utter lack of empathy shown at the ending/s is compounded .. it’s so difficult to process, let alone accept that somebody that you have seen be kind and sweet shows indifference or (worse) pleasure when they inflict deliberate pain .. thanks again

[@mthomas3547]

"Depend on feeling special" That hit the nail on the head. If they don't get that from you, you're written off.

[@lesliel.6260]

The only thing exceptional about these people is how exceptional it is that everyone needs to run away!

[@MT-tx7bu]

Thanks Doctor. When you mention a lack of empathy from the narcissist and how that can be confusing, that is my experience. It wasn't like my father was a stone wall, but maybe we were misreading his empathy? I don't know. He would cry at times, but I think the tears were more for him than for us. He use to say to me, "Are you mad at me?" rather than, "I believe that I hurt you and I'm sorry." It just always turned to him even when he could be cruel. This might be why I went into ministry, to learn how to be there for people who are suffering and just allowing them to tell their story by listening and asking questions. I never got that growing up, so I'm having to sharpen my skills with empathy. Thank you so much. I wish you'd come back and continue to be a part of Ytube. You're so helpful!!

[@wallymarcel1]

Great. Thank you. Appreciated the tag at the end because abuse is the issue and recognizing all the subtle ways they do this is crucial for the maintenance of one’s mental health.

[@CraigMalkin]

You're welcome :-)

[@braveknight2000]

This is a revelation for me because I was struggling with forgiving my narcissistic SIL whom I cannot avoid. Of course, in her endless struggle to feel special, she has to put everybody else down in sometimes subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle ways. For instance, what I've heard termed "the narcissistic stare." Just one judgmental glance from her and I feel completely sized up and found wanting by the narcissist. Who wants to be around someone like that? But I can totally relate to the need to self soothe and the attempt to achieve that through maladaptive behavior. This allows me to actually have some compassion for her and not take it so personally. I feel like this was the key I needed to navigate this situation. Thank you.

[@CraigMalkin]

Shannon Phillips I’m so glad it helped you -and thank you for sharing your experience :-)

[@silverwindspirit]

Narcissist are hard to deal with when you see it in your family members

[@DOTMH_1]

I dropped mines. They will never change.

[@sierrachief117]

I couldn't care less

[@carolinelaronda4523]

After 42 years, I’ve discovered the easiest way for me to tell if somebody is a narcissist, or cluster B is if I’m attracted to them 😩

[@emilyc5625]

I think these people attract people pleasers , people that love a challenge and low self esteem at the same time . Sometimes they attract people that they too themselves did not receive love from their parents. Usually Narcs are highly intelligent manipulators , so you need to be smart socially to recognize inconsistencies and manipulation and have strong enough self worth to walk away without dwelling

[@angaeltartarrose6484]

She only spoke about herself. The topic was always to be steered back to her. She said once, "Whenever you talk, all i hear is, 'blah, blah, blah' until it's my turn."

[@StateofBeingness]

Everyone makes mistakes and at some point and concedes that in some sort of conciliatory matter whether that be an apology or a simple admission. A key red flag to use in the discernment of a narcissist is when the person in question never admits to being wrong and never apologizes, even when it is obvious that they have acted inappropriately. They will always rationalize their poor behavior as being caused or triggered by someone else’s actions. Thus, the victim receives no acknowledgment. Rather, through the rationalization of the narcissist they are actually made into the perpetrator. The Narcissist can never admit any sort of outright culpability for that would threaten to open a reservoir of such deep insecurity that it would threaten their very fragile sense of self.

[@KG-bk5vc]

Very well said.

[@Pragnantweggyboard]

Hmm so if I told you that an ex who I was talking to in friendship said "I take everything you say on board but then I feel bad so instead of discussing it I just go quiet" would that hint at narcissism?

[@meeraraj0]

State of Beingness I thought my ex was narcissist. Because at our breakup which was sudden he suddenly flipped and discarded me. And was Very nasty. He has no empathy. I waited for him to call down but months later he was still nasty. Then i gave up and moved on. As soon as I was moving on he returned 5 months later. I was shocked and very interested to see if he wanted to apologise or talk. But he was flippant. He never said addresses the past. He wanted sex with no emotions. The strangest of all was how indifferent calm he was He had no emotion toward me. I was getting triggered and I was nasty. So am I narcissistic?. He told me he had affair with an ex who is now married. I got so mad. Because we broke up due to him cheating wuth another ex. I realised he doesn't even care for me.

[@meeraraj0]

Pragnant_weggy_board Yes. I started doing it. Because my ex did to me and Mum. If you want to avoid conflict. Communicate. If you need time tell them. Don't be silent

[@hug-a-bull5717]

LobsterANDREW1 Your comment is so spot on!! Honestly reminds me of someone in my life who recently did something horrible, cops were called he went to jail. He was empathetic at first and apologetic but shortly thereafter began to blame the others for why he went to jail that night. He goes back to his same ol behavior. What struck me about what you said about not wanting to be cut off is because when he’s talking to another person about the situation that happened, he will talk about it as if he’s taking responsibility for it and that it was his actions that lead to the consequences he’s dealing with. It’s like he tells that OTHER person this to save face because he knows the other person would definitely not agree with him blaming others for what he did but on the other hand, if it’s just me and him talking about what happened, it’s back to being not his fault again. He’s dealing with consequences because someone called the cops on him, not because of his own actions. He is so transparent it makes me sick. Just wish he could see what I see and not only view everything through his own distorted thought process.

[@le_th_]

Accurate, concise and even included an important disclaimer about abuse and abusers. Well done!

[@CraigMalkin]

So glad you liked it!

[@alexiphigenia1618]

I'm so glad I found you. There are so many horrible "experts" on narcissism on you tube who seem pretty narcissistic. What a welcome, sound, grounded, highly educated voice.

[@dotsyjmaher]

The scariest thing is the ones who feel warm and fuzzy..and REALLY are very unsafe...how I keep looking for straight forward just decent pleasant people and find SO many people are putting on fronts... My ex-husband used to say almost EVERYONE puts up a front..he said it was normal or no one could ever connect .. How about straight forward...be who you are so as not to waste time on fakes..

[@jasonriggenbach1927]

Absolutely loved your book! Really helped me to get a grasp on what had happened in my life and a great answer to why they do this! The need to feel special. Your book has been instrumental in my recovery and I thank you for all the research you did and time and effort you have put into making some sense out of narcissism! Thank you!

[@attheranch873]

This is so helpful! I’ve never thought of it as an addiction to attention/praise. That makes so much more sense to me. Thank you, and I will read your book 😊

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Birdsong,His the best teacher ☺️🤙

[@bigbertha4080]

Everyone has levels of narcissism, but some rate higher than others and those who engage in a relationship with them feel confused and hurt most of the time. The common feeling like you are losing your mind because they turn everything back on you and suddenly you are the one apologizing when they did wrong. It can be difficult to get out and get recovery because there is a part of you that misses them and you can let your guard down thinking maybe it was not that bad. But you quickly realize that it is better to keep walking, feel the pain but keep walking.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Big Bertha, you are absolutely right 🤙

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Big Bertha,hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@hudsonneuro7796]

Hi Dr. Malkin, I enjoyed your presentation. I have been a licensed psychotherapist since 1982, specializing in Trauma. I get asked for a simple definition or better yet "red flag" for narcissistic PD. I tell them , in my professional and personal experience, the best predictor seems to be, even during or right after the initial "love bombing", is the unspoken establishment of a one-up-one-down relationship, with you in the less-than-equal "one down position." After years of suffering from unrecognized narcissistic abuse from "friends" and colleagues , I learned to trust my gut and the moment I sensed this relationship inequality, I confronted the narcissist, and let's just say the snake popped out of the hole! In other words, the mood shifted immediately and brought on the denial and defensiveness , and eventually, the subtle or not so subtle devaluation, all for me "not knowing my place", so to speak.. The good news was I told myself better to flush out a pathological narcissist sooner rather than later. I would appreciate your comments if time permits. Thanks!

[@ravenschalice9374]

"Addicted to or dependent on feeling special..." What a succinct way to put it! Thank you for that! However, as to the title, "the simplest way to spot a narcissist," I'm not really certain that was revealed here.

[@baronsamedi7304]

When lying and bullshit become the norm, for any reason, such as drug abuse or personality disorders, that is where the issues that effect others stem from. If someone is a lying bastard, quit dealing with them, pretty simple.

[@tiathompson6674]

Baron samedi......so true.

[@bens1972]

Narcissism is being played out every day on Instagram and KZbin. You can tell a narcissist, when every picture on Instagram is of themselves in various poses, semi naked or dressed, desperately seeking validation and approval from their peers.

[@woofiedog7452]

I agree. Narcissism becomes most noticeable on Instagram. The celebrities (or those that think of themselves as such) that post there just put up a photo, make some half-assed comment to support it and then all of their toadie followers spend time commenting on it without any interaction at all from the original poster. If anything says 'look at me I'm superior to you - you are my audience and I don't even have to play a tune or tell a story or do anything that depends on talent' that does. 'I am the talent' the message implies 'all I have to do is post a photo - not even one took myself, necessarily, because it is something I love so you should to because I don't need to talk to properly to justify it- the message goes (getting even more disturbing). Don't have much time for fb either, but at least the thread starter is obliged to interact but diarising your life and putting up constant streams of self-promoting photos that suggests a certain lifestyle, likely to promote envy in others, is certainly narcissistic too. But Instagram is far worse out of the two platforms. I can bet that anyone that uses that platform is more likely to be narcissistic than on any other social media platform. All the same, narcissism is rampant on all social media. Avoid - if you want to deal with real human beings with integrity, intelligence, a sense of honour and decency. In fact, people like that tend to stay away from SM - at least eventually - when they realise they are no match for the bullies, show-offs and braggarts and plain stupid megalomaniacs. The only social media platform I have any time for is You Tube. You can pick your channel carefully and forgo the dross and watch some great stuff that is educational, some old programmes from TV of old, some great music snippets and interview clips. Also, you get the whole person, if they are visually presenting their material in person. Seeing the whole person gives you a much better idea of who you might be dealing with.

[@guitawrizt]

1 out of 10 are Narcs. 10 out of 10 are Women.

[@maryclutterbuck7183]

That’s not true at all. The internet is fake, all is an illusion. Often times Instagram models are total sweethearts, with underlying issues of face and body dysmorphia and self confidence issues. Narcissism is a personality. People often aren’t who they are in person as they are online.

[@moldysalsa7841]

@@maryclutterbuck7183 THIS along with the fact that the internet it a bigggg drug. Every like, positive comment, etc. make us happy (dopamine is released) and makes us wanna do it again. People like MORE if you have more skin showing which doesn't even need to be proved. Validation is the biggest part of ppl like so, obviously some of them are narcissists but not all.

[@loveandsqualor6034]

Ben Wilde THAT is NOT narcissism. You obviously have had no dealings with actual narcissists.

[@Goldgirl1020]

I love this. Having been abused myself and still meeting such people (especially being taken advantage of because I’m deaf) I find I can get triggered and then seemingly become abusive as a self defence tactic but I have to say I notice the only people who tend to trigger me are generally manipulative people themselves who are all for themselves and pushing my buttons. I don’t go off at just anybody.

[@Fearlessanalyst1]

This is the best explanation I've seen, because it recognizes the 'spectrum' element, and doesn't exaggerate. I think "you-are-or-you-aren't" definitions are not only simplistic but potentially dangerous.

[@brendaleverick3655]

Once the devaluation begins, it's time to start packing your bags. 💁🏼

[@tanjasrensen3303]

Put a healthy boundary and say NO - than see how they react

[@missygray4128]

Thanks for getting right to the point!! This info was very helpful and precise!! I like your teaching style.. I have learned that my ex was a covert narcissist and I still fell in love with him even though his "blank stare" and odd behavior was present in the beginning because I was not aware then what he was!!! I almost lost my life to this monster 4 years later!! I am safe and no contact now, but what can society do to teach about this epidemic of monsters out to hurt and destroy everyone in their path!!! I am a different person now. They change who you are, what you feel, and how you think!!! Its a horrific experience to come out of...

[@alexinej272]

Thank you! This was a huge missing piece for me. Understanding that it’s impaired empathy rather than absent empathy (so using empathy as a tool for gain e.g.) clarifies sooooo much.

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

Alexine Jackman Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years husband cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK. Contact this Sage Hacker via Gmail (encrypteddevicehacker )Text and speak to him directly on phone or Telegram [phone]. Thank me later.

[@reneeraw6927]

I am a licensed psychologist. This video is excellent. Look forward to watching more of your videos.

[@Star5dg]

Complete lack of empathy. I suffered immensely health wise and my watch didn't gave a shit. Not only that every time I relapsed ill she told me to get out the house and I had to leave. Zero empathy

[@libraryfiles4470]

What are the behavior differences between Narcissism Sociopathic And Psychopathic behaviors?

[@paulawinger7617]

I found your book interesting. I instinctively tried many of the methods you mention in your book with a covert narcissist.(not knowing until therapy that this is what i was dealing with.) I responded to his wounded self with empathy and assumed his overly narcissistic self was a cover. I did this for 18 years which is why I believe he was able to stay for such a long time. In the end empathy impairment became glaringly apparent in the way i was discarded, entitlement was always there, exploitation sadly was the most shocking part and i only found out when it was over. I think i was dealing with someone further up the spectrum than I still now want to believe. It is all still a little confusing. But i was trying to love a Don Draper...i was charmed, fooled and hopefully will never do it again. I believe they are capable of love and empathy and yet my resting place is - just not as much love as a healthy person needs....i am working my way up the spectrum :) Thanks for your book.

[@quinoasongs2507]

how do you discover that in someone without getting too close to them? In a "first date" you don't normally ask "are you a narcissist"? Too many people didn't know someone was until they were already married

[@dtecum]

Nowadays I would for my own sanity.

[@garrimic3]

You sir show your intelligence in a great way. Narcissistic tendencies are in everyone to some degree. Finally..... I never believed that some are only narcissistic and others cannot have narcissism in them.

[@debbiesunlight7047]

Best description ever of narcissism.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Debbie Sunlight,His the best teacher 🤙🤙🤙

[@gildog]

215 narcissistic people gave thumbs down

[@ejshamy2370]

Now it's 228. How many more will see this and get offended by it?

[@krazeemetalchickstewart9961]

Sucks to be them

[@glenphillips9068]

They make videos about the subject.

[@Pemulis1]

Great video. This guy definitely knows his stuff. Subscribed.

[@monicavoskamp3432]

this is a great overview! And love that it is short :) It was easy to take in.

[@CraigMalkin]

Monica Voskamp so glad you liked it!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Monica Voskamn,his the best teacher ☺️🤙

[@imrlaps7097]

I'm glad he mentioned that there's not a complete lack of empathy. I have found this to be the case just observing the narcissists i have to deal with. The research and data on NPD is not yet sufficient. Period.

[@porkyfedwell]

This is the first explanation of narcissism I've seen that has been clear and not dramatic.

[@Mister_Soyuz_on_YT]

Anyone here knows the word for: A person who turns his own family against another family member because he feels "threaten", so he will spread inaccurate rumors to other members of the family about that one specific member causing confusion.

[@tracydriver460]

Yes a NARC. Run as fast as you can.

[@michelleflores3535]

Yes🥺☹️😩 a narcissist 💔💔💔

[@Mister_Soyuz_on_YT]

Thank you. I have a brother and he is who was deacribed as OP. Sucks, feels like I am talking to a child with maladaptive cognition and not a trustworthy and rational adult.

[@1SaltyGirl]

Mom is the word

[@drowe2753]

I call it my sister and brother

[@coveredinbees6630]

Just got your book and am loving it, so much good information it has really helped me get to grips with the person I am dealing with and also identify these people so I don’t make the same horrible mistake ever again!. Thank you 😊

[@CraigMalkin]

Covered In Bees so glad you’re finding it helpful -and you’re welcome!

[@brendaprevost2132]

EXCELLENT!! Would love to hear some info on hypersexuality and narcissism.

[@brendaprevost2132]

Very possibly. I'm sure that is a componant but I have yet to see a Narc who WASNT hypersexual. Seems to go hand in hand.

[@rnbsteenstar]

You can have one without the other.

[@soinlove6889]

They also withhold sex/affection from their partner as a form of control & punishment

[@jimjackle2739]

RRY - There's a Pat Benetar song about that

[@jimjackle2739]

Brenda - Both of these things are probably caused by too much testosterone. My ex girlfriend had a real high sex drive and wanted it 3 times a day. I didn't complain. Her whole family has a real high testosterone, with alot of baldness in the men at a young age. She was a very pretty woman, but had some hair growth and a female mustache, that she had to remove periodically with waxing. She was just born with a high testosterone and stayed horny constantly.

[@ViNtAgELovv11]

Thanks for this. I think a lot of people are quick to label someone who wronged them a "narcissist". People can be selfish or rude without being narcissists. And not all narcissists are flashy and outspoken about how great they are, it can be more of a subtle self obsession and inability to empathize with others. And its not because they're "evil" its because thats literally how they experience the world, unfortunately.

[@MarieHolliday]

You described this guy that I was in the early stage of dating once I realized I was dealing with a extreme narcissism man . I cut him loose. It took me three months to unmask the narc thank God. I have cut off all contact with the narc. He believes Hollywood is going to make a movie about his life starring Will Smith who will play him and that's all he talked about during the three months I dated him all conversations centered around him.

[@prettyandyoung7028]

Im glad you avoided that sitiation! That is hilarious about his grand delusions of himself.

[@vickilynn9514]

I'm confused - when people feel overwhelmed or in pain, their capacity for empathy will naturally fluctuate. We're more or less sensitive to other people depending on our immediately available emotional resources, it seems to me.

[@CraigMalkin]

That's correct. Even for people without NPD, empathy can be temporarily blocked. As I say in my book, rage makes narcissists of us all. We don't care about the feelings of people we're furious at, not in the heat of our fury. That doesn't mean we have NPD. And that's why looking at patterns, like triple E, is so important. It's a myth--and ultimately, a confusing one--that NPD is marked by a *lack* of empathy. Not all people with NPD are high in psychopathy (which is more marked by the absence of empathy).

[@kellyleighread807]

Narcissist have no compassion for another's feelings. No regrets for being unfaithful to their partner. No remorse for causing pain.

[@shaytheo]

"Rage makes narcissists of us all" is true, but narcissists don't apologize. My wife has gone from NP traits over the years to no apologies, no compassion toward me, no accountability for her screw UPS or behavior and full blown bullying and control. The irony is she believes herself to be the most empathic, most boundaries, most accountable person she knows.

[@Kayenne54]

@@CraigMalkin I'm so relieved. Most exhausting relationship ever had me thinking I was worse than he was, for lack of empathy and self-involvement (he taught me about gaslighting and passive/aggressive behaviour - he was more of a sociopath than a narcissist but ultimately it was all about him). Do you think that sometimes the "symptoms" are worse between certain people, and not others? In other words, I used to think my ex and I had some seriously bad dynamics but that somehow he would be better with a different kind of personality than I was. That someone else would bring out his best, because I just seemed to bring out his most terrible traits, and in the end, I also became my worst version. As though I were a mirror which could trigger him without even trying. Normally I would class myself as empathic (took me a long time to separate out my own feelings from everyone around me); so would you say a usually empathic person is basically like a mirror to others? The whole relationship felt to me as though I was simply reflecting back to him whatever he was narrating inside his head...if that makes any sense.

[@kellyleighread807]

Intent.

[@lazlo-o-matic2691]

I just recently escaped a relationship with a narcissistic abuser. I had to separate my finances and work behind the scenes and get paperwork in order and then kick her ass out. Then had to communicate with her to for her to collect her belongings before I went full no contact. She has of course gotten vindictive. She is trying to paint me as an abuser and I guess she is trying to get a restraining order against me. Early on in my relationship with her she became best friends with my ex girlfriend and very friendly with my ex-wife. Now I am forbidden to see my teenage children. Stay away from people like this, they will try to destroy you if you try to leave. Isn't it interesting how she became so friendly with my exes. Also in a former relationship she broke up with a boyfriend in a really awful way and then ended up living with his parents, then became good friends with his future wife. So toxic!

[@DOTMH_1]

She sounds creepy

[@laurarominger2073]

I never saw any empathy in my ex narc. None. I’ve had students that maybe were more antisocial but again no empathy. The only time I’d see them feel deep emotion was when they felt sorry for themselves.

[@dosquintoiuos]

Once they start feeling resentment- there is nothing you can do to make it better- and the resentment can be triggered in a milisecond because you did not breathe “right” in a given situationA it can be as petty as that- but know this - the more you start to apprase them from that point to “make it all better somehow” the more they will resent you, use you and abuse you

[@charlettejones9687]

Thanks dr Malkin, these were really handy on detecting narcissists . It's not surprising that there are quite a good amount of them around. I will put these in my library to look back on .

[@iniubongnkanga9390]

Charlette Jones Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years husband cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his text without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK. Contact this Sage Hacker via Gmail (encrypteddevicehacker )Text and speak to him directly on phone or Telegram [phone]. Thank me later.

[@BobPDXz]

Been Married to one for 28 years, she has cheated on me more than I can count...And Denies it all.

[@carmenlamontagne4948]

Bob, so sorry. My ex cheated on me throughout our marriage for 23 years. He left in 2013 to move in with his drunken girlfriend. It was his second affair with her. We finally divorced in 2016. A lot of stuff I found out after he left through his cable buddies. He was leading a double life.

[@jneusbaum3697]

@@carmenlamontagne4948 Want to compare notes? Let's have some refreshments. 22 years and still learning what happened. Comical in some ways...shame on me. You win. You're out. Don't take it personally...it's the nature of the beast.

[@neelakantaiyer9188]

@@carmenlamontagne4948I

[@baby5968]

They’ll deny EVERYTHING, it’s infuriating

[@louiseyellowlees2791]

Hi. Thank you for your video's. Very informative and helpful. I have been reading about what sort of childhood would make a Narcissist... What if you see these tendancies in an 11 year old child who has a very good and healthy upbringing. If he or she is the only sibling showing these warning signs.? How can these early symptoms be treated and where has this low self esteem come from when the parents are very supportive and praising? Have you more information on this?

[@flamingsword777]

That's the problem.... Over praising in the wrong context leads to narcissism... What you are talking about is an EXCELLENT example of how Jodie Arias was raised and turned out.... I believe it's a confluence of MANY different factors including genes,spiritual disposition and how they were raised. Praising kids constantly for the most minor things teaches them that they are to be constantly owed praise. That's a HUGE part of the problem. Kids need to know their limitations and boundaries....

[@davidangus8127]

The theory that attachment issues at an early age creates this addiction makes me a bit more empathetic towards narcassists, and a bit more hopeful that they can recover. I’d always thought that people were ‘born that way’

[@ronj4727]

A narcissist will remove any empathy, I promise you.These people provoke good decent people into killing them.

[@desert_moon]

Excellent information! Thank you!

[@thespiritof76..]

I am happy I ran across your content... Over the years I had pretty much gave the idea of Narcissism to be imaginary or just another new way to character assault.... That was my first introduction to the word, outside of a murder mystery novel. I had been accused, and the person accusing it had professional training on the subject..... My point is, you’ve helped me to come to terms with the reality that I am facing... Now I just have to learn how to survive attack after attack someone whom carries a pathological hatred as well complete and total motivation to prove that I am the evil monster that she sees in her own self... thanks again

[@rashmee02]

I read that a narcissistic person is the most insecure and jealous person in the family, they are the abuser and manipulator and choose a member in a family who tends to be the scapegoat or the black sheep.

[@y0maris]

You're right. It's the Rebel/Scapegoat (usually the black sheep of the family) that narcissists tend to get their supply from but it can also be others, although they may be enablers/conformers and not speak up or go against the narcissist like the Rebel will. Some people can fluctuate between roles of the Rebel/Scapegoat, GC (Golden Child)/Conformer, Runner, etc. You may see this in some family dynamics with a narcissist parent and their children. I have a narcissist father and GC/Conformer older sister. Been No Contact for 8 months.

[@vickieheather9682]

When you are empathic and end up being raised by an extreme narcissist and surround yourself with them, because it's what you are use to...the big fear is, Am I a Narcissist? I can see I took on traits, yet also have sympathy for how they may have ended up this way. I worry about me.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Vickie Heather,Be yourself and don't worry about anything

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Vickie Heather, you are too precious to be with a narcissist!

[@freshair9315]

Valid point. I also did similar. Wondered about my narcisism. Then I was reminded that narcisists have very little self awareness and don't care if they manipulate people. Clearly you are not a narc.

[@mariedelozier2530]

The narcissist has a distorted sense of empathy.

[@deethegardengirl]

Yes it's fake.

[@nathankoehler2143]

The hope is so low for narcissists. What do I do if its not something that can be healed? I will never find real love and woll never go back to being a monster. What do i do?

[@xNatalia1987]

I ve been with a person who was very abusive especially verbally and emotionaly and he usually blamed me for feeling victimized or called me crazy everytime i tried to explain how i felt. He also called me narcissist everytime that i pointed out my needs. He sometimes refferred to himself as superior than other human beings and that i was special enough as he chose to be with me. He twisted my reality so much and made me feel confused as i started question myself and my reality. Now my question is, does a narcissist realise what he is doing or he just projects (unconsciously) his behavior and negative feelings to others?

[@nickt1262]

They hate when they see you happy and vice-versa.

[@sidneys8778]

The title of the video is “How to spot a Narcissist”. I didn’t hear you say that. You just explained what a Narcissist is

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Sidney S, Really!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Sidney S,hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@sidneys8778]

@@lioydwilliams1850 no, I worked for one. I didn’t even know until I noticed they acted just like president chump. And thats when I started researching narcissism. I also realized how many narcissists I had in my life! Covert and Overt

[@lioydwilliams1850]

@@sidneys8778 you deserve better my dear.I am Lioyd from the States.You?

[@lioydwilliams1850]

@@sidneys8778 which country are you from?

[@LauraHalvar]

Excellent!!! As a lifelong survivor and thankful client of years of abuse therapy, I rate this video a 10 on the Narcbuster scale. This is a precision hit on busting the bubble the narcs live in. Thank God for knowledge and thank DR. MALKIN for a simple lesson about a dangerous disorder. 😎🤩

[@CraigMalkin]

Wow--thanks for the high praise. What a compliment.

[@sriyanigoonetilleke5227]

Best explanation. No wasting time up to the point. Short and sweet. Thanks doctor. Very helpful. 😊

[@janetbutler4644]

Having suffered through a son's narcissistic son for years and recently from my 2nd son as a result of helping me manage my money, As a 79 year active lady, I wrote my son that if he did not perform his fiduciary obligations for me, that I would have state elderly abuse officers be at his door the following morning. Not only did my oldest son intervene with me to work with me, they have since treated me with value and respect like never before. All they had known from their past was having a none caring passive aggressive father whom I divorced after 18 years of a suffering marriage. What I learned from this was the idea of any adult abusive son (or any narcissistic adult) needs to know there are limits and consequences for abusive behavior. I was so lucky to have discovered this play. I am a retired liscenced lpc with a specialty in children and families with ADHD and other behavioral issues. Even set up a school for them. It is not easy doing what I did, but it has been with good results. Finding inner strength to change and move on requires support if you can get it, but be prepared to be a scapegoat for their denials. Feeling safe brings happiness and new dreams.