"The Toad Idol" by Kirk Mashburn / Artifacts of Horror

ARTIFACTS OF HORROR: VOLUME 2
Episode 1: "The Toad Idol" by Kirk Mashburn
First published in the September 1935 edition of Weird Tales, "The Toad Idol" tells of a dread stone fetish found in an Aztec temple.
00:00 - Introduction
01:18 - The Toad Idol
16:31 - Further Listening
How about some Lovecraftian artifacts?
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Narrated by Ian Gordon for HorrorBabble
Music and production by Ian & Jennifer Gordon
Background image by djedj: pixabay.com/users/djedj-59194
Other imagery produced in MS Designer/Photoshop
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[@user-nf6mg9fm9s]

I'll let it slide that Kirk called a toad a reptile

[@radub6941]

😂

[@WhoCares69]

Back in the authors time many people classified toads 🐸 are reptiles because it didn’t live in water like the frog so he was actually being accurate for his time

[@libertycowboy2495]

Yeah, I felt the same way.

[@cheesburgr]

I chalked that one up to being an anachronism, but I can't be sure.

[@invalidusurper6795]

The way I interpreted that sentence was that he didn't like toads or reptiles. Not saying a toad is one, just that he didn't like either one.

[@gravestone4840]

Remember kids, don't lick hallucinogenic toads. This is what the trip is like.

[@BigTuk]

The one trope of these sorts of stories is that the narrator is always oddly composed and lucid enough to verbally articulate what's happening to them in legible handwriting. I am being stoned to death by a demonic frog statue. Another stone just hit my brain. It's still stoning me. I can't help but feel that the survival rate of these journal writers would go up immensely if they just stopped writing for a couple minutes. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if these one one that ended with 3 paragraphgs about "The hellish thing is eating me alive. It's chewing on me. I can hear my thigh bones cracking and crunch. Oh God. My Liver. My pancreas... Honestly I love the trope because i always get a chuckle picturing someone diligently writing in neat perfectly legible hand writing while all that is happening. And the fiends are always so polite as to never jostle them so much as to make writing impractical.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

I haven't seen it go QUITE that far, but it's a pretty funny trope.

[@jimburke7457]

Perhaps he was dictating.

[@whyherewhynow7418]

"I am drowning. Paper is getting soggy, ink is running. If I survive, must find better way to narrate."

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

After finishing, this was actually one of the more justified examples of the trope. I think the creature wanted him to finish and targetted the brain damage accordingly.

[@miarencrowsdaughter6434]

'He wouldn't *write* "Agggggggh" - he'd just *say* "Aggggggggh'!'

[@witchdoctor1394]

Yet another fine example of "Let's completely ignore the warnings of the local Indigenous folk" and "your superstitious beliefs are bebeath me" coming back to lliteraly bite them in the ass. 😂 Great narration of the story & the voice quality is fantastically well suited for this genre!

[@shaunsmith3757]

Many years ago, reptiles and amphibians were largely considered just reptiles. So, if you just think of the story being older than it is, you can safely explain away the "error." 😊👍🏼

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

Makes sense. I'm only a few minutes in but it feels like it's set quite some time ago. I'm also not sure the writer is particularly supposed to know much about zoological classifications, even as understood in his own time.

[@Bzuhl]

Ooh it's also very nice to have bite-sized videos. I'm guilty of falling asleep with a 3h vid that I have to restart the next evening.

[@walterfechter8080]

This story should complement the story ("The Frog" by Henry Kuttner) which I listened to a few days ago. I appreciate stories which deal with archeological objects and creepy-crawlies. Ha! This story is a good one! Many thanks, Ian! Cheer'o!

[@lamblyn]

Frog and Toad are friends should be the next reading.

[@walterfechter8080]

@@lamblyn 🐸👍

[@ToshMatsum]

"Says he is very intelligent" "Repeatedly calls the toad a reptile" I'm looking forward to one of the Elder Gods eating him. All hail the toad! 🐸 Edit: Okay, never mind. The punishment inflicted upon the man was quite terrifying. Well done, Mr. Mashburn. And thank you, Ian!

[@Loquification]

Calling a toad a reptile. Literally has rocks in his brain.

[@kingdemon26]

If only this was a few hours long, I absolutely love listening to these stories

[@RolandWieffering1]

I Agree... If Only....

[@biggusdickus5986]

It was a comedy wasn't it... Ribbit..🐸..Ribbit...

[@Jason-ng2vf]

My day just got better. 😊 This is an intriguing sounding tale. I will wait for the night to listen. Thanks Ian!!

[@RangerOfTheOrder]

The idea of a toad sitting in the corner and pelting some poor guy with pebbles is absolutely hilarious to me.

[@johannageisel5390]

Not only to you.

[@benjimlem1284]

Great reading, as always, decent story, too, but all I could think of was "Toads are not reptiles, they're amphibians!" x)

[@michaelgreaves2375]

The odious and profane Toad is entitled to identify as a reptile if it wants to. I myself identify as an "abomination of humanity."

[@Eris123451]

As far as you know ? After all not all swans are white.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

I have the impression the writer is far from an expert, even before he starts going mad.

[@Eris123451]

Just because some toads are Amphibians it does necessarily mean that all toads are amphibians; some toads may indeed be reptiles ? Some may even be fish ? It's enough to drive anyone mad.

[@mysticmeadowshomestead6209]

Told in first person. No dialogue given, but narrator tells us what was said to him, again first-person voice. This adds to the sense of the Toad having isolated his victim, since no other POV is given.

[@RaimoKangasniemi]

Apparently the last published story by Kirk Mashburn [alias Wallace Kirkpatrick Mashburn Jr(1900-68)], who had debuted in 1927.

[@donaldmccleary9015]

Fantastic story and narration! I like all the obscure authors you introduce to us. Thanks! This is a fantastic work.

[@VictorReynolds]

Nice start to the new volume!

[@robbabcock_]

Eerie and wonderful!

[@biggusdickus5986]

Eerie.? Lol l was laughing all the way thru, a toad on its hind legs throwing psychic pebbles into his brain lol, c'mon you would need a heart of stone not to laugh at that... 🐸 Ribbit...

[@CJ-uf6xl]

Been looking forward to this.

[@samsonsoturian6013]

Story says toad is obsidian, illustration says toad is sandstone.

[@BarryHart-xo1oy]

Very true.

[@biggusdickus5986]

🐸 RIBBIT...

[@RolandWieffering1]

The beginning made me think of "The Thing on the Roof", by REH. Great story. Thanks Ian and Jennifer, I never miss a story. You got me hooked 🎧😉

[@DalokiMauvais]

Beautifully written and beautifully narrated. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@sabastjunberthiaume8391]

Love everything you do!

[@cmdr_thrudd]

Fantastic, look forward to hearing more from the new series. Thanks 😊

[@andrewhoffman8427]

Every 6th grader, 30 seconds into this story… AMPHIBIAN!!! AMPHIBIAN!

[@soulreaver1983]

Thanks so much Ian!✌️

[@graelent9]

Obviously the Toad Entity was taking out its vengeance and tormenting this fellow for being grossly misidentified as a reptile

[@sarge4455]

Awesome

[@stevenmiller2427]

Outstanding!!!

[@XldemonbloodlX]

Referring to a toad as a reptile... Someone needed a better proof reader. Haha

[@lamblyn]

Toad was angry because he was separated from his best friend frog. Now that his captor is dead he and frog can continue with their wonderful adventures.

[@AAron-gr3jk]

Tsothagua?

[@Cheeselord114]

Whoa, now thats something

[@rosiemcnaughton9933]

Good story. Thanks.

[@Gianfranco_69]

'Tsathoggua' !!!? Is that you?

[@GodOfPlague]

Nah look at him that idol is way more smug and handsome than tsathoggua

[@johannageisel5390]

Maybe one of its children.

[@along5925]

Totally on the side of the toad...

[@samwisegamgee4854]

Me too. Toadly.

[@cheesburgr]

Yowzers! I actually stopped moving and my eyes widened at the word "inside"

[@JamieAsareZiegler]

Maybe he could have tried apologizing to the evil murder toad...

[@justletmelistthese]

Wait, hold up, stop, hey! Warren is not dead!

[@biggusdickus5986]

He never was..... 😮

[@MachineSpirit101]

Spooky.

[@benwrigley6176]

thanks ❤🎉

[@Suchega_Uber]

That outro music was awesome, but even Shazam couldn't find it.

[@johannageisel5390]

I think the music is exclusively written and performed for this channel.

[@Suchega_Uber]

@@johannageisel5390 If that's true, that's really amazing. That's so much talent between also writing, performing, and handling back end.

[@johannageisel5390]

@@Suchega_Uber Indeed! I think they have a second channel where you can listen to the music. Edit: I do not know where the music is. :( But I believe I have once listened to some pieces by themselves.

[@Suchega_Uber]

@@johannageisel5390 Well, I appreciate you looking for it all the same. Thank you.

[@erginbozun1755]

A stone toad that hurls pebbles seems a little unrea... ouch!

[@biggusdickus5986]

Funniest story in ages 😂

[@0therun1t21]

I'm not a big fan of amphibians either, but I love repriles. Good squirmy story, thanks!

[@biggusdickus5986]

Whats a reprile ?

[@johannageisel5390]

ROFL. What else is a small guy like a toad to do in case of abduction? He must find pebbles and fling them at his captor!

[@barkseal9]

The deepest lore of Zuma.

[@izzymo5712]

I know I’ve heard this story before but I have no idea where I heard it

[@biggusdickus5986]

You were that toad 😮🐸Ribbit... 😂

[@bigsarge2085]

❤‍🔥

[@Bbergster]

I believe everything I’m toad….. 🐸

[@grafkidkat705]

WARREN LIVES!!

[@mucchay]

❤

[@sr.skulletongrin8755]

Someone alert the SCP Foundation

[@itzybitzyspyder]

Worts and all...

[@biggusdickus5986]

Warts

[@user-de2wf4yu4c]

Was it really the confusing back then to distinguish if a road was a reptile and amphibian? Seems a small mistake that makes someone sound very ignorant

[@biggusdickus5986]

A road.?

[@Loquification]

What did we learn? Don't steal artefacts from other cultures!

[@johannageisel5390]

Exactly! There is a reason why that's forbidden. You never know which eldritch creature you're going to awaken.

[@patkelly8309]

OOhh

[@thefisherking78]

FAFO 😂🎉

[@JackSparrow-re4ql]

I love this channel. Thank you for your hard work.

[@ianhinz-vt9bg]

1st view!

[@Kojoanna]

Love your stories mostly but didnt like this one😩

[@biggusdickus5986]

I too think that 99.9% of Ians tales are excellent, but this was just silly, saying that l enjoyed the chuckles, Ribbit... 🐸

[@anthonybarnwell767]

Awesome