The Truth About Cheating | Neil Strauss

Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist Neil Strauss explores the complex nature of fidelity and relationships.
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[@matgonzalez6272]

I feel like the vulnerability that full commitment requires is too uncomfortable and challenging for most people. Uncommon love takes uncommon commitment.

[@jesssayin5986]

Regardless of biology, what makes us uniquely human is consciousness and discernment. Both can and should be used to remain faithful, any argument used to justify a poor choice is just an excuse.

[@Huda-bu]

Thank you

[@kirstenshindler7767]

And it’s hurting society, our children and people even wanting to get married anymore.. why should anyone get married? Look at the children in our country.. I see what my cheating husbands relationship did to his children. If you know you are selfish, entitled, arrogant…then don’t have kids! Or get married.. then go happily out and have all the hedonistic sex you want..

[@TheOutsider840]

I mean there's a clear argument that being unfaithful is better in propagating genes, so anyone with the aim of creating lots of children is doing a rational action by their own consciousness and discernment. That's not an excuse as such.

[@dillonmason4503]

commitment is a fabrication that society created. It's good for women so they feel secure (i've heard they loose some attraction when they get it tho) and I do advocate for monogamy in the longterm but. Idk.

[@the-naked-sailor]

Seriously? "Regardless of biology..... uniquely human..."? I'm pretty sure that's a contradiction. It is in fact that being human is biological. And what the hell does "uniquely human" mean if not humans' being distinctly different from other animal life?

[@christineha69]

Menopause doesn’t have to mean a stopping of sexual desire. That’s a VERY old trope. Love to see you interview Emily Nagoski, author of “Come as You Are”. I think men have a dire need to understand about female sexuality.

[@heatherhawkins7566]

It certainly dampens desire for sex in some women. It's biology. Not "trope."

[@matgonzalez6272]

But dampens doesn’t mean full stop. I’d love to hear more from anyone that can expand on sexuality, especially in committed adult relationships. I feel like all the talk I hear of sexuality is about how everyone is less sexually active than in decades past.

[@monicaabdala5261]

Exactly my thinking...negotiate the relationship?? He is confussed and even unsured of what he is saying. Worst interview ever 😅 😂

[@user-su1bi8xx9d]

I interpreted it as women can become hyper sexual when going through menopause/just before menopause. So I think he was saying it's the woman who needs more sex, not the man

[@fabianoingles7496]

Women Don't understand themselves. But men need to understand them.

[@DS-vx3wf]

Full interview disappeared! bring it back!

[@Briiiii23]

Right! I was just looking for it and wondering if I was crazy :/

[@zenazena2273]

Steven…please tell us why this full interview has been taken down…we know you are good for it!! ❤

[@Z-Twinturbo]

@@zenazena2273 apprently Neil was being harassed & he asked for the video to be taken down as a result. People need to chill out these days...

[@Mark-hr5gm]

ffs so bad! @@Z-Twinturbo

[@arthurmurfitt7698]

wow...@@Z-Twinturbo

[@Web4Humanity-Humanverse]

💜Thank you Neil and Steven for having this discussion. This is so true. 💜Blessings 💜

[@mmmjh1]

I cheated on my first gf, I became a sex addict. After reading the game, I would sarge, pick up women, and manipulate them. Project a false image. It worked. Most women grow up idealising a fantasy through mainstream media. But what I realised was that eventually, I acknowledged I was a narcissist/avoidant. Due to childhood trauma, I was replaying my father's actions (He cheated on my mother). Apple doesn't fall far from the tree at times. At times, that apple is half eaten. I'm glad I've fully developed my self-awareness. I just need to work on my long-term relationship skills. I've never had a blueprint or a role model to guide me into a healthy relationship. I used women equivalently as a drug. Instead of seeing them as a whole human person with their own feelings. I regret some choices in my mid 20s.

[@kimonaveez]

How did you treat your mom growing up? What’s your outlook on her as a woman? They say you can tell a lot about man how he treats his mom. I’m sorry to hear your father did that and you suffered the consequences. You are admitting there’s a problem and that’s the first step to overcome any personal issue. I believe you can find and have love that you deserve.

[@mmmjh1]

@kimonaveez (only child) There is still a lot of untangling to do. Unfortunately, when you're dealt a difficult hand of being raised by a single immigrant mother, a neglectful father. Both with their own baggage and stunted emotionally, you just sit back and see these 2 people who brought you into this world as fragile individuals. Unfortunately, I had to play certain roles I shouldn't have had to. Some people call this Parentification. Untangling everything you have ever learnt as a child is the first step to proceeding to live as a being. My mother has done the best she could.

[@heatherhawkins7566]

That's some powerful insight into your own behavior patterns. Most narcissists don't have the ability to change so I'm glad you made it out or at least are actively working on yourself.

[@kimonaveez]

@@mmmjh1 I can relate although my parents are American and together, they don’t love each other and had kids without planning. No stability but did the best they could as well. They had so much regret of their own life and decisions they made or didn’t make and got taken out on us because they had “kids.” I’ve watched arguments and disagreements my whole life. What messed me up is that the roles are reversed in my household. My dad was physically injured at work and never went back and my mother’s always worked and my dad does the housework. It’s given me a complex as a woman. I am married, but I still find it difficult to depend on anyone but myself, and to share my personal space or trust a man to do his part as a “man.” I don’t believe in double standards and feel we all should hold our weight. I was abused as a kid as well by a family member and I am still the most emotional and empathic person I know amongst all the suppression of anger and confusion. I’m not angry with anyone. I’m more mad at myself then anything ya know. I was very promiscuous when I was a teenager and I regret it till this day just giving my body away. My husband is Muslim and I’m sure you know in their culture you save it for marriage and reserve yourself. We are imperfectly perfect beings . Forgive yourself, it’s not your fault and just keep trying to be a better person every day of your life. Love will come. The right person will understand you and accept you for you 💜

[@mmmjh1]

@kimonaveez I, too, was sexually abused at a very young age. (I had to shake off my hypersexuality and used porn as a fix in my teens) My last relationship was just over 2 years with a recent divorced Muslim woman (She cheated on her husband). It was hot and cold. She pushed and pulled the whole relationship. It ended due to the fact that she fell pregnant and had an ectopic pregnancy. She ended our relationship soon after. I wasn't capable of dealing with the on and off. I was verbally abusive, not proud of that. She hid the pregnancy from her family and friends. We all have trauma residue. I think We attract people with the same wiring at times. Neglect and abuse. The foundation of fear, guilt, and shame.

[@justnews9738]

If you want your life to be a soap opera then cheat. If you want your life to have a happy ending then monogamy.

[@professionalpookie]

Wrong

[@ivyking4149]

If you want to ruin your relation, friendship then cheat.

[@floris0626]

Relationship won’t last without hard conversations. Are we there to find faults in each other or are we here to evolve together? If polyamory is offered but you can’t stop cheating, it’s more about ego boost, weak mindedness and control than love, Sometimes people are not together for the same reasons.. there are countless possibilities to make something work, it’s a matter of thinking outside the box and staying true to yourself at the same time - people need to stop thinking so black and white

[@tyronekleiner8798]

Why can't we find the full podcast?

[@cylai331]

Why is the full episode removed? 😮😢

[@sissi5598]

Please put a link to the full video.

[@ivyking4149]

Cheating works both ways, Besides breaking the bond of trust it is detremental to your selfworth too. ❤

[@VasacceSky]

“Being discredited is the behavior that turns off women the most” -Neil Strauss

[@Jaa_morant]

Guys who has the full video? Can u give a link?

[@jaymann5180]

Hey, what happened to the video? When I click on the full video, I see it says Video unavailable This video has been removed by the uploader.

[@itsrtvbaby]

I was aleays capable of staying with one woman. Ive just never found one that was capable of doing the same unfortunately 😢

[@Ikaros23]

learn about " red flags" and narcissism. And also educate yourself on codependency. The pices will fall in place for you, but you need to see the ENTIRE picture

[@thibaultoffroad]

Why the full version is offline?

[@innocentrage1]

Woah Neil is still around!

[@kaytypicalnotsokaytypical6145]

I can love as many people as I would like and you choose who you want.

[@Ricktaka1986]

Anyone can be happy with cheating until they’re cheated on. I’ve seen it a million times before

[@TPrasad-xh2oq]

Can we get the full video

[@drtydsh]

It's on the channel

[@omotayosatuyi252]

@@drtydshit's not he removed the full podcast

[@spiritualqueen2745]

I was looking for it too. I wonder why it got removed. @@omotayosatuyi252

[@jackics6540]

Did you remove the whole episode, wtf?....

[@tishtoshtash]

Not sure this guy was able to articulate his ideas/beliefs well enough. Was kind of hard to listen to and lost me due to the hesitations in what he was saying.

[@the-naked-sailor]

I bet you didn't know he was once considered the best pickup artist in the world. The wrote the book _the game_ a fascinating read.

[@TheMrKjw]

The upbringing part of the full interview was so impactful for me, and now it's gone... gutted

[@Poopf-fu6fm]

Im a gentleman ❤ waiting for his woman ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@SamanthasUniverse]

No.

[@gbln_38]

"Ethical non-monogamy" = swinging lol

[@SamanthasUniverse]

Or polyamory.

[@the-naked-sailor]

@sama, actually polygamy. Poly, Greek meaning many. Gamy Greek meaning sex.

[@SummerJ200]

It all sounds so complicated lol

[@Poopf-fu6fm]

Gentlewoman

[@tinamaps1605]

📍🇿🇦❤😊

[@mhoward181]

Iv found out at age 44 I have ADHD and it explains why I always cheated.

[@mrquick6775]

Yep, or you just like to cheat! Sometimes it’s just that you enjoy it! 😃🤷‍♂️

[@Benny71453]

hate when people use ADHD to justify their poor choices. know plenty of people that have ADHD and have no issues with being faithful to their partner.

[@Shenben2021]

I have ADHD and only found out last year. I’m 38 and have been with my husband for 15 years. I’ve never cheated once. Not in this relationship and not in any other one I had prior. Please don’t blame your moral choices on your ADHD diagnosis and throw a blanket on all of us who suffer with the same ailments.

[@mhoward181]

@@Benny71453 different people. Different types of the condition. Bet there people with adhd that can make friends and have a social life. On the other hand I’m great at managing money and others cannot.

[@mhoward181]

@@Shenben2021 everyone is different and lives different lives. Growing up I had inattentive adhd. For me it was the fact I never had any friends. No social life. Adhd brings intense emotions and for me I needed that connection with another person. I’m Not proud of what I did but it now makes sense. Not at my age you start to mature and start to realise what’s more important. I havnt cheated for years. Don’t worry if I cud go back so i was never born I would.

[@rd24life]

What is he babbling on about?

[@the-naked-sailor]

That everyone cheats, that it's innate, and through conditioning, we fight against our natural biology?

[@the-naked-sailor]

Wow! Who would've thought one of the world's greatest pick-up artist would be interviewed by _the diary of a ceo_