The Truth about Racism in Interracial Relationships

Interracial marriages come with unique challenges and beautiful opportunities for growth. Join us as we dive into the complexities and joys of navigating a marriage where race and cultural backgrounds intersect.
Join the conversation and share your experiences in the comments below! We believe that love knows no boundaries, and understanding these dynamics can help strengthen any marriage.
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[@childressgiles7626]

I also met my husband on an app😍. Being a black woman in a BW/WM marriage, I took upon myself to thoroughly educate my white husband about life from my view as a black woman because racism is something he doesn't experience a lot or at all. Beyond that education we had already decided that we would use the race differences to our positive advantage. We choose to live our lives spiritually by choosing to live by humanity(human race) over racial views . That choice has lead us to seeing each other as the people we married and we are the team. We set boundaries that exempts us from having to listen to our family, friends or strangers opinions towards our lives. We are the change we want to see in others. It's beautiful, fulfilling and filled with love. Wishing you two all the best💖💖. Keep the positivity coming.

[@cceichhorn1]

This is great-- I feel like the most important element of a great partner is not one who grew up with your exact experiences, but rather one who is willing to listen and learn and understand your perspective over time. My wife grew up a woman, she grew up poor, and she grew up a minority person in America. I didn't experience any of those things, but I've learned so much from listening to her and understanding the world through her eyes.

[@oldmama8929]

As a BW married to a WM for the last 27 years, my advice is to never stop learning and appreciating each other as whole human beings. Listen and try to understand the other's POV. Do not dismiss concerns or feelings. Validate each other's experiences. The connection that full acknowledgement of each other creates, is invaluable for a lasting, healthy and rewarding relationship. And make sure to share your kiddies' pics. They are going to be gorgeous!

[@Pecan_Tan]

I love this!

[@kimbobeads230]

I hear white guys say they don’t see color BUT as a black woman OUR color points to our “Culture”. So you’re right. It’s not our color that we want you to see and learn about, it’s our Cultural.. Blacks are taught to live and learn about white culture no “seasoning” and whites don’t learn about black culture, “seasoning”. Our hair, food, lifestyle and music is not the same. And as a white man that’s where the learning comes in. Love you guys authenticity!! ❤

[@mommabangtan8555]

When people say they "Don't see color" they simply mean, your skin color isn't an issue.

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@mommabangtan8555 A Black spouse indicates consciousness, pride, strength, and a high self-image A non-Black spouse indicates isolation, shame, weakness, and a poor self-image

[@kimbobeads230]

@@mommabangtan8555 I’m sorry but what’s does color have to do with anything???? Zero. Other than Culture. To authentically be yourself your culture has to be embraced.

[@kimbobeads230]

@@DrUmarJohnson1 I’m sorry but your views are false and contentious. I’ve watched many of your videos and while I find some of your opinions enlightening your perception is not based on facts. Who created and designed “humans”?? By design, skin color wasn’t created to cause division or war between people. BUT men like you, in their own weakness, and inferior complex cause division and confusion to boost your own by spreading negativity propaganda. If the Creator thought it good to design humans by color, shape, size then who are you to judge His design! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with two cultures joining together providing they embrace each other’s culture and morals.

[@kimbobeads230]

@@DrUmarJohnson1 that comment is so narrow minded and ignorant. And from a man, typical. It shows insecurity, low self esteem and huge ego. The Almighty Creator designed every human into being. Every color, hair texture and every size of being. It’s clear your view point is seriously floored, without merit, science and/ or logic. Lastly, you’d benefit more from spreading a positive message of love and peace not war, contention and division, if nothing else, keep your low vibes to yourself because although this couple might not give 2clicks about your hurt feelings, spreading this type of propaganda only brings back negative karma back to you. So if you find you’re rejected a lot, it’s the crap that’s dished by you is coming back. One Love and walk good 👍🏽 ❤

[@cceichhorn1]

As another White guy in an interracial marriage, I feel the same way -- I don't think about being different races on a daily basis, we're just in love. For comparison, I'm tall (6'2'') and my wife is short (5'0'') and that difference comes up more often (once a week or so?) than our racial difference.

[@maenad1231]

Same, people ask questions about it far more than I (Black woman) or my husband (White man) actively think about it. Yeah we’ve discussed both differences and similarities (he’s jewish) in bigotry we’ve faced and other life experiences related to race/ethnicity but outside of conversations and actively facing/dealing with people who have an issue with our marriage we aren’t thinking about it. Our age gap (between 13 & 14 years) and height difference (over a foot) is more relevant in our relationship People’s hyper focus on race is weird

[@ctgctg1]

My husband and I were married over 30 years ago and we are an interracial couple. I married him in his home country where I was the only white person around for miles. This left me a lifelong impression on me of what it was like to be singled out and being treated differently. This was so important for me even though I found it very hard. To me, sharing the same faith was and is so much more important. However, I don’t think you can’t not think about race if you are going to have children. That would be unfair to them because no matter what you have to say that race doesn’t matter, it will impact your children. I can say this even growing up in one of the most multicultural urban city in the world. You can’t ignore racism, because your children will experience it at some level. My experiences early in my marriage made me very nervous to have a child and I waited a very long time before I had children. During those years I made sure to immerse myself in my husband’s culture (and he did the same with mine). Please don’t ignore this, it is so important. Racism can be subtle, but just because you don’t notice it, your children will. You need to embrace the challenge full on. Just my personal experience.

[@Pecan_Tan]

Thank you for sharing! super insightful! ❤️

[@1trueloveforever]

It's really sad that in2024 , we still need to have these kinds of conversations . Different isn't bad , its just different. We are all human . I'm attracted to good people end of.

[@user-ts2pe3ms1k]

Людей привлекают люди своей расы и это более чем нормально и естественно. Но бывают и межрасовые отношения

[@warready2183]

@@user-ts2pe3ms1klet her know Russian homie

[@LukeStreetwalker]

I'm the child of an interracial couple! Thank you for this lovely video

[@davidpeters3322]

100 + years of mixed race in my family (on both sides)...and I'm proud of it. I wouldn't be here without them.

[@tessallon4355]

My boyfriend is Hispanic and I’m white and not enough people talk about this stuff. I also met him on a dating app. Bumble in 2018! Thanks for sharing this on here ❤️

[@emmalilou7176]

You guys are 100% right😍😍You were also lucky to have open-minded parents.

[@mjking8704]

Yall are a gorgeous couple, Your kids are gonna be so cute!. My gf is black and she's absolutely the Ying to my Yang. ❤

[@soulspirationgoddess]

That’s cute. P.S I think it’s “Yin”. Yin & Yang ☯️

[@user-lf5gm3ed3x]

There is one race the human race 😊🎉

[@mercedessl8718]

Hi guys it is so obvious you are perfect for each other. I love the way you interact with each other both expressing unwavering support for each other. As a wm i believe love never sees colour and it is imperative that wm follow the lead/trend set by bm in opening their options to all races of women. Stay strong, stay safe and keep posting the message of love❤️🥰

[@thesdrwhisperer]

Thank you!

[@jessiicc]

Love this new subscriber!!! You guys have such a positive attitude and mindset I love it 🥰 my husband is Asian and I’m Black. So totally can understand 💕❣️

[@sandrakindles9456]

Im glad to see you two loving each other. Just be true to each other and respect each others feedings.

[@jaiyabyrd4177]

💯Race/Culture/Ethnicity differences should not be overlooked. These topics need to be discussed by the two in the relationship

[@vanessalucas5553]

You're such a beautiful couple keep the love flowing 🎊 🎉 💖 🙏 💕

[@elania8332]

Beautiful matches💖👌 and children of Christ Jesus The Most High!🙏

[@QueenEstherfaithful]

I greatly appreciate your narrative! May the both of you enjoy a long and fulfilling life together.

[@Pecan_Tan]

Thank you so much!

[@themikeseapodcast]

My black wife and I have been happily married for a long time now and I love hearing interracial couples perspective on their relationship and how others perceive them. Kolter Bouchard who popularized the 'BLACK WIFE EFFECT' was a guest on my podcast channel discussing interracial relationships, race and the 'BLACK WIFE EFFECT'. Great discussion for anyone in interracial relationships.

[@PrestonWilson-wm2rl]

Hey love is love. You guys love each other, do it up , you two. You have a beautiful love. Let it grow.

[@cee2176]

I am interracial relationship and have been for 10+ years. We live in Sweden and here people are not used to it so they act very weird and funny around us. I try to se it from their perspective but I feel like people should know better it is 2024, we are not in the 60´s anymore, there is Tv and social media. It is as if some people want to be backwards, like they do not want to be open minded.

[@joannelewis9566]

wonderful video, I love the different subjects that you touched on. I wish you lots of love and happiness.

[@jeannieves6275]

congratulations Beautiful Couple people lets come together get a Grip

[@user-bp7or2nv7h]

New subscriber here love you guys

[@jarmainharrell7084]

This was beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing! God Bless!💜

[@DianeGlazier-ob5xx]

I Love The Both Of Your Personalities. You're An Inspiration. I Can't Wait To See Your Beautiful Babies. Your Attitudes Are Exactly It Should Be. #GodIsOnYourSide And Remember #LoveTrumpsHate 💯

[@williamcarter9066]

PEOPLE!! Date whoever you want because it’s nobody else’s business and those who object!! Don’t make it your problem because if you do you giving them to much say so over your life as well as your being!! Life is to to short to waste your time on anyone that’s not down with you or for you ya dig !!

[@ITEEZ-]

You are beautiful girl!

[@edmaureendixon3535]

I am older but I. absolutely agree with you both.

[@angelaroberts7041]

He is handsome

[@candaceolivianesbittbarrig500]

I am a BW married to a WM - 23 years, 28 as a couple . My husband was oblivious to the racism I've experienced; thinking that I was overreacting. Until last year in Alaska when a restaurant wouldn't serve us.

[@margaretjackson7953]

Right on beautiful humans 🙏🏽🙏🏽😉

[@dionneharris922]

I love the authenticity of your relationship, you’re both clearly on the same page. A relationship where there is appreciation for each others is, beautiful to watch. I am enjoying you both all the way from the uk 🇬🇧 ❤❤❤

[@thesdrwhisperer]

Amen

[@junemedford3296]

Omg I'm so glad I came across your video I definitely agree with everything you're both saying it's just absolutely in 2024 this is still an issue or problem I come from a military family we were raised with diversity I'm a beautiful woman of color I have biracial children our whole family is diverse we believe in people are people too and it is who makes you happy, loves, supports you like you said you get 1 ticket thts it I love meeting different races the food, the language, the music everything my children are the same yea we get the looks the stares my sister and I had had a black guy come up to us and get mad if we were talking to a white guy but his girlfriend was white she was just as shocked as we were it's ridiculous! Maybe I need to try tinder again I'm still in search of the love of my life I love your honesty, the love you have for each other and your genuiness I'm definitely checking out your channel! 💖💖

[@cathybynum6390]

Hello loves. Y’all are precious, God bless you you both🙏🏻💜

[@Pecan_Tan]

Thank you so much 🤗

[@carolinecalloway9544]

I JUST LOVE YOU TWO!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤ CULTURAL BLENDING OR WHATEVER; LOVE IS LOVE; as the song goes don’t worry be happy!!!!!!🤎🤍🌍🌍🌎😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💙❤️💚🩵🖤👏🏽👏🏻🫶🏾 WHAT IS THE PROBLEM????!??🌍🌎🌏

[@edmaureendixon3535]

Keep doing you!

[@lydiam.godfrey8530]

Very Cute couple#!

[@changetocome100]

I love how easy you guys make it sound but seriously y'all need to teach a class because it is serious out here!!!!

[@soulspirationgoddess]

It also depends on where you live. My uncle who’s married to a ww moved to a certain part of Texas that has a neighborhood with alot of IR couples, so that they could raise their family with less pushback or issues.

[@nuhaalmariyood5105]

❤❤❤as BW I am not have self confidence to face the racism that's amazing ❤

[@user-wk9fs2pf3h]

Gravitate to the people that loves you both. People have their opinions and some will be cruel. Some of my greatest loves were white men. Trust the love you both have. Ignore the haters. Have a wonderful life.

[@LiterallyTho]

He’s fine! Go Girl!! #Ginger

[@juliet5413]

I’m in a relationship with the same gender/racial make up as yours, and I can sadly say, the most looks and negative feedback I’ve gotten, have been from other Black people. Particularly black American people. The white people I have encountered, have thought we were a beautiful couple and have largely had nothing to say. I mean, a few of them have looked at us though. it’s definitely hard not to be bothered, but I will never be bothered enough to not be with the love of my life. We get married next March! Overall, we have gotten way more positive or neutral feedback than negative though. We are definitely super blessed. But the snickering, weird/angry comments, etc.. I have been all other Black people. It’s really interesting, because it’s not what I would have expected.

[@dranchd6571]

Past and present matters. It's interesting that you would not expect black people to have a different perspective on interracial unions.

[@juliet5413]

@@dranchd6571 they can have any perspective they want. I’m talking about the blatant rudeness. Thanks

[@elizabethgalindo1692]

I'm from Guatemala and my boyfriend is from Australia, Super tall and me super little but we completed each other pretty well

[@Pecan_Tan]

I love that!! ❤️

[@ProcitaPeach]

Beautiful perfect couple in Jesus Christ ❤

[@soulspirationgoddess]

Wondering what triggered the two of you guys to make another video like this? There’s so many nuances in this matrix. I personally feel like here in San Diego, BW/WM dynamics are less common, so when people see it they stare EXTRA hard. I still think WM overall have this unspoken rule over them they cannot pursue BW, but any other race of woman is fine. If it’s an Asian woman especially, no one bats an eyelash. WM and BW share that experience actually where who we can date is policed. WM are expected to be “keepers of the white race” and BW are still expected to be “keepers of the Black race”. Whereas WW and BM don’t have that requirement on them.. anywho thanks for sharing!

[@Pecan_Tan]

Hey Love! Some of our newer supporters wanted to hear our take on being in an interracial relationship, so we decided to address it again. I agree with you!!

[@jillstreet8364]

I missed you cuties 🥰

[@Prettybirdpink]

❤❤❤❤

[@kusalwalukwesa6807]

Beautiful lovely

[@Pecan_Tan]

Thank you 😊

[@michaelmcdougall7367]

Racism does happen in those relations. I know a white female who's married to a black guy but does not like black women. So sad.

[@Pecan_Tan]

That's upsetting

[@michaelmcdougall7367]

@Pecan_Tan Racism is real and manifests itself in many ways.

[@ginevrawilliams866]

It is so annoying the way people view and talk about interracial relationships in the USA as though it is a novelty. The UK has the highest rate of mixed couples (mostly black/white) and kids and that has been the theme for decades. Having lived on different continents in multiracial, culturally blended societies and married to two races, I find that culture and ideologies are more of a problem than race/colour. In my personal experience and other couples that I know, it was/is the black person's family, especially the men, that was more of a problem than the white person.

[@Pecan_Tan]

Thank you for your insight, were just sharing our story/experience

[@junemedford3296]

True I've had the same experience love is love and if you're lucky enough to find it that's all that matters.

[@candacedawn357]

Hello! You guys may be interested in a podcast episode The Cole Life (KZbin Channel) put out a month ago titled Dispelling Interracial Myths to hear another perspective.

[@Pecan_Tan]

Thank you for the recommendation Candace! I'm going to check it out ❤️

[@candacedawn357]

@@Pecan_Tan Cool! I would love to hear what you think.

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@candacedawn357 A Black spouse indicates consciousness, pride, strength, and a high self-image A non-Black spouse indicates isolation, shame, weakness, and a poor self-image

[@febe11111]

Maybe it’s just me but when someone says I don’t see color,how could you not ,anyone please answer.

[@mrsstrawberryluv1]

To me this whole black white at what point will this stop mattering my hubby white British Irish when i look at him i see my husband not color of the skin were just two people inlove why are people making mix couple topic out big deal i dont get it youre just two people inlove end of story let them look stare just ignore the ignorance of other's we get stare at my hubby he could care less 😂he's 73 I'm 62 we been together 21 year's ❤❤ still inlove so be happy enjoy your beautiful marriage 🎉🎉

[@ltully4961]

Race does matter! You may not want to deal with it and find ways to deflect as a coping mechanism, but here you are explaining yourselves.

[@Pecan_Tan]

Race doesn't matter in a relationship. Where explaining it because our new supports wanted to hear our opinion on it. Thanks for the comment

[@luwikayz9608]

❤❤❤l

[@amossmithjr9362]

KudOs to ya

[@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858]

You're lucky. Back when I dated some white men, it was a mixed bag. I mean I know no two white dudes are the same lol, but still, the last one left me after only six months and was a Papa's boy that lived with his parents at 40 and played video games often. The other one (the one that actually proposed to me, and whom I met many years before that last one last year), he was a divorced man with a seven year at the time. His ex-wife was Chinese and their kid was so cute. So you can imagine my JEALOUSY at him having already experienced that! I wanted to be his first for everything. Anyway, long story it didn't work. I hope to find a man that seems as good as yours eventually but I am up there in age already so it's going to be harder for me probably. I'm 40, I just turned.

[@jamielocke1886]

You guys are a really cute couple, happy for you, hope you stay happily married and in love for the rest of your lives. My thing is I keep seeing this The Black Wife effect. WTF is that? White guys marry black women all the time and viscera. I didn't know it was a thing. People marry who they love and be damn those who don't like it. and BTW lady I have a membership at Costco and you can't split the membership while at the register and it has nothing to do with you being black. Some cashier's will let you get away with it but they will definitely tell you for next time.

[@JoseRodriguez-qd5cu]

So,race does matter,like height matters.

[@Xestra37490]

It’s beyond me people still talk about race. It’s just the level lord ignorance in some people is just difficult to understand.

[@bryanoaitse1547]

I cnt wait to date outside my race

[@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858]

You guys are so lucky. It's not fair lol. Why did the people I meet (white dudes) were very judgemental and cruel towards me.

[@marianaya5824]

👀

[@Pecan_Tan]

👀❤️

[@beagirl7031]

BTW Is Dylan Irish?

[@Pecan_Tan]

Yes! more so Italian but he has Irish as well!

[@Sachi52]

So although I support you it is hard to listen to people who call themselves pecan and ginger deconstruct race and give advice. The names minimize the the whole people you really are.

[@jacquelinebl6]

Is this still a big deal in this Era? It seems some people like to bring up races for no reasons.

[@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858]

Young but more matured than a recent ex of mine. Jesus. He's 40 you guys are probably 31 or so lol.

[@Indigostarfly]

It doesn't have to be that deep.

[@Pecan_Tan]

You right lol

[@jadimplesmax665]

You’re promoting “faith based” and spouting church, yet talking about minding their f-ing business (9:55)…

[@soulspirationgoddess]

We’re all human. Alluding to a curse word doesn’t make anyone less of a believer. I personally don’t curse at church but it does slip out sometimes. Where in the Bible does it say we can’t say “curse words” ? We use words everyday and curse ourselves without evening realizing it. Lol

[@jadimplesmax665]

Take time to read your Bible b4 jumping to defend…

[@Pecan_Tan]

Amen

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@jadimplesmax665 Segregation 2025!!!!

[@VeliciaMacon]

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[@TeacherDykens]

Why do women like talking to much? You don't let the dude talk

[@Pecan_Tan]

What can I say I'm a talker 👄