The TRUTH About Romantic TV Shows & Rom-coms (ROCD/RA)

Are you triggered by tv shows like Bridgerton and rom-coms?
Feeling like you can't stop comparing yourself to these fictional characters?
Wondering if you're lacking something in your relationship after watching these shows?
Spiraling in anxiety and doubt becuase of it?
You're not alone, love.
Let's talk about these TV Shows and romantic movies and why they're so triggering, what they're REALLY about, why they're not a good representation of love and how they can trigger ROCD/Relationship Anxiety.
#herestobeinghuman, #yana
» ROCD 2.0 COURSE & COMMUNITY: rocdcourse.com/
» ITUNES PODCAST: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast​...
» SPOTIFY PODCAST: open.spotify.com/show/6BrSot3​...
» WEBSITE: AWAKENINTOLOVE.COM
» INSTAGRAM: / withawakeni. .
» PARTNERS OF ROCD MASTERCLASS: rocdcourse.com/partnersofrocd...
» ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: rocdcourse.com/the-checklist​
Disclaimer: All of the information listed in this channel is for informative, motivational, educational purposes only. If you are specifically looking for a licensed and professional therapist then you are welcome to work with our therapist, if not, we will refer you to someone else. Please note that this channel is not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder but serves only as education and motivation.
#ROCD, #Relationshipocd, #Relationshipanxiety, #OCD

[@itstiaamia]

I’m pretty sure my rocd was kickstarted by the unrealistic portrayals of relationships in movies/tv shows. The vampire diaries really springs to mind cause although I love the show it really set my expectations soooo high in relationships with regards to passion etc, and the notion that you should choose the bad boy over the good guy if there is more passion. Still love the show but was definitely triggering at times

[@KiraHelenRose]

In addition to my previous comment, I think one of the best character arcs in literature and film is that of Marianne Dashwood in Sense & Sensibility. She evolves from her infatuated, passion fueled trauma bond with Willoughby and eventually turns her eye to Colonel Brandon who has quietly stood by her and her family, giving his care and aid selflessly in times of need. Being a constant friend and companion. And with him she learns to choose love. To allow it grow with time and care. I told my partner tonight that my previous love interest (who was a covert narcissist and played tons of mind games) was my Willoughby. And that he, my current partner, is my Colonel Brandon.

[@creativechristinaa]

Love this!!

[@sh.ge.del.8710]

Snape will be Snape eh

[@veronicasbaffo2794]

I loved how in the first season the queen said that the best fundament for marriage is being best friends. that really helped me. season 2 was very triggering tho

[@inovermyhead2988]

When she turned down the prince I think I may have said audibly "girl Simon is gonna make your life a living hell." Sex is literally the deepest thing about their relationship. And even with the sex, the show is making it look like it is normative for a woman to orgasm after little to no foreplay and from intercourse alone 🙄 Season 2 is way more triggering because it mostly explores emotional connections/chemistry without the distraction of so much sex. But I'm still gonna keep watching it 🤣

[@Awakenintolove]

Haha I love this comment

[@notababyyodaa3930]

Some shows I have avoided watching are of course The bachelor/bachelorette. And even recently when I got triggered by the kardashian show - they showed kourtney’s new relationship with Tristan and they were always so touchy, lovey, and kissing…and it triggered me! For some reason, reality shows (love is blind, love island, etc) trigger me because I think as audience we are supposed to believe that what we are watching is real life but even reality tv is very much unrealistic.

[@WallaWallaIsForLove]

kravis's relationship was so triggering for me too!!!!

[@KiraHelenRose]

I recently came to the realization that most of our “greatest love stories” are based not on actual love, but infatuation and passion. And I realized how problematic some of them truly are. For instance, Romeo & Juliet. One of literatures greatest love stories. Yet Juliet is 13 years old. And Romeo is only a couple years older. They meet one time and then run off and get married. This story is based off of teenage “love”. It’s teenage infatuation. And this is what we tend to base our ideas about love on. Society tells us that the ultimate love is teenage infatuation, instant gratification, rash and immature choices, and ultimately ends in double suicide because “real love” means you cannot live without the other person. This is incredibly problematic messaging.

[@creativechristinaa]

In retrospect, maybe Romeo and Juliet is about the consequences of equating infatuation with true love (i.e. you die/lose yourself)

[@sahansensu6108]

Sorry to break it to some People but if passion and infatuation doesn't exist what you call love does not exist either unlike our family and True friends our relationships with our so is not pure it evolves and fuels from either lust or another more primal and opportunistic feelings so sad to say but without passion or infatuation your love will fade away and if you are Lucky enough there will be only left a friendships or familial love if it is strong enough and if it is not there will only be 2 People Who Just stuck together out of either necessaty, Habit, security or despair and don't get suprised if 1 or 2 partners eyes starts to eander around this is the sick reality of human nature we are opportunistic, greedy, selfish and shallow creatures in our nature our moral codes are what makes us trully human but most People in this age are weak and easy to left morals and values behind for their benefits only True love you can hope to have is with family and friends if they don't have a benefit from you and you likewise real love and bonds between People can only exist if there is no benefits otherwise how much you trully want to romanticisize it you are Just using the other and them likewise even sexual relationships are using another persons body to reach orgasm if you look at it this way and it is evident that how many unsatisfied or even satisfied enough partners still cheats or dumps their so for something else if something stems from benefit it is weak and short lived

[@KiraHelenRose]

@@sahansensu6108 first of all, learn punctuation and grammar. Second, no one said infatuation doesn’t exist. It does, but it is not the same thing as love. And no, you do not need infatuation to have a lasting and loving relationship with your partner. There are much deeper and more meaningful connections to make with your partner than lust, passion, obsession, physical attraction, etc. Trust, loyalty, emotional security, support, deep caring, mutual respect, shared values and life goals, desire to raise a happy family, etc. Love is part of all of those things. It is the everyday choice to be by someone’s side and build a life with them. Passion doesn’t need to drive those things. Passion is not the foundation of a loving relationship, it is the cherry on top. Even couples who begin with tons of passion and lust, eventually cool down to a loving companionship. Marriages don’t end because passion ends, they end because people think it’s only supposed to be about the passion and they don’t put in anything beyond that. And when the passion fades, they think it’s over instead of working on the other parts of the relationship. Passion is something that waxes and wanes throughout life. Some days you are crazy about your partner, and some days you just don’t feel it. Which is completely normal. No emotion can be upfront 100% of the time. We aren’t happy 100% of our lives, or sad 100% either. So why would be expends that we would feel intense passion 100% of the time? Also, not everyone cheats. There are people who are loyal. And even if they lose the passion or even feel like they no longer love the other person, they are honest with them about it and either work together to get through that rough patch, or make the mutual decision to end the relationship. Infatuation generally leads to rashness, obsessiveness, possessiveness, blindness, disappointment, and heartbreak. I speak from experience. Every time I’ve been through it, I got majorly hurt. I’m now in a wonderful long term relationship with the person I want to spend my life with and it didn’t start with lust and infatuation. At first I thought that meant something was wrong. But then I put in the work and chose love every day, chose to nurture strong bonds with my partner, appreciate all the amazing things about him, enjoy spending time together and making each other laugh, etc. And through that, deep and lasting love has grown.

[@krisztinaeckstein9701]

It’s all so true. And there are even books that work the same way…

[@keiramurphy863]

I mostly watch horror movies, crime documentaries or historical. I do avoid rom coms, any movies based on romantic relationships these days. Even a horror series with a love interest story within it can be triggering. I think the miseducation has really gone deep into a subconscious level so to be honest just being aware that these movies are not portraying honest secure relationships won’t really be enough. My own thoughts and feelings trigger me enough let alone adding a romantic movie into the mix. Whether my current relationship will survive me I don’t know. Hopefully.

[@MsVelandra]

Thank you for this helpful video. Are there any movies which you would suggest which portray healthy love relationship?

[@missl1586]

It would be super great if you could make a series of videos debunking this series!

[@MsVelandra]

Have you watched Emily in Paris? It is such a cute TV show with great fashion, but Emily's love story and her choices seem so unhealthy and it has been triggering for me.

[@integrativetiara2140]

Season 1 was triggering for me as well but I was able to overcome it and watched season 2🤣 however, since overcoming the hardest parts of rocd, I’ve found less enjoyment in these romcom/rom shows and movies though- once you look at them from a realistic lense, it looses its magical “spark”

[@lilymulligan8180]

Bingeing Bridgerton triggered me too. I broke up with my partner of almost 5 years back in Nov and when I watched Bridgerton it kicked off an anxiety/depression spiral. I did finish both seasons, but I won't be watching anymore. I also swore off any other shows about love or relationships, and even unfollowed relationship-focused Instagram accounts.