The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 1 Episode 5 | Recap | Review

[@paintitblack9712]

Aussie cannot deal with being confronted, not even with soft ball questions. Sam deserves more

[@mabelameba]

Homegirl needs therapy, not a reality show.

[@twiggletteee]

I was 5 minutes into this episode and I had to pause. What shocked me was Aussie saying that Mildred couldn't give her what she needed in order for them to talk, while she couldn't even communicate what was it that she needed.

[@amirariyama2349]

She’s extremely avoidant

[@Danielle2Cats]

Aussie has a lot of trauma that she needs to go to therapy for

[@Monocultured01]

Regardless of her relationship status, she needs a looooot of help. At least it seems that the show was a wake up call to how much she's still mentally living in her trauma.

[@letyoufindme]

Just finished ep 5. Aussie quite clearly has trauma. It looked like she was going back into child mode when Mildred was talking to her agreeing to everything, not looking up, shrinking herself, w/ a small voice, and unfortunately Mildred took her demeaner as license to go harder bc she felt like she wasn't getting through to Aussie. I can understand bc Mildred obviously doesn't know and but the tail tale signs are there and THIS is why they need therapists. Both Aussie and Mildred triggered each others traumas.

[@kakaolo3728]

Spot on. I think that she never learned how to express her feelings. Perhaps because she had parents that wouldn't let her do that. I also grew up in a very strict and traditional muslim family and I can understand what she is struggling with...

[@britneyh8679]

Mildred isn’t wrong in this situation. Why should everyone else have to put their feelings aside all the time because Aussie can’t handle it? When confronted she likes to say ‘ that’s not true’ in an attempt to gaslight the other person. My least favorite person this season.

[@dyamonjones7497]

Someone on Twitter said “Aussie a runner, they a track star” and I laughed so hard cause it’s true. I literally yelled “where you going now???” At the screen.

[@chicquie5471]

Aussie's avoidant attachment style and running away from issues makes me dislike her so badly

[@Daine888]

Mal was right about yoli like she’s already in love again, and I hope Mal finds someone cause you can tell she kinda checked out from Lexie

[@litto-songbirds]

Yeah, I noticed that too

[@amberreese7489]

I love that Lexi’s parents actually asked pressing questions (unlike the parents on LIB) and didn’t just go along with whatever their child presents to them.

[@dmckdc]

Natasha and Mals friend should be the next host, also why can’t they have a therapist in this show of some sort

[@kriss939]

Lmao I need it

[@Meganb1286]

Loved the friends in this season! Those are real ones.

[@lucysjourney7085]

Agreed! They asked the right questions and were so realistic.

[@JNDReacts]

According to Tiff everyone got individual therapy and couple’s therapy during the filming of the show!

[@Ima_Wake]

​@@JNDReacts Did not know this. It's definitely needed and I'm glad they got it

[@PhilSoReal1]

Aussie just doesn’t want to be called out. No matter how nice

[@marisabelcabrera5704]

The thing about Aussie is that Aussie acknowledges Aussie has past trauma that is preventing Aussie from becoming the best version of Aussie, but it does not appear that Aussie has done anything to overcome this obstacle. Aussie needs professional help. Your partner is not meant to be your therapist and it is incredibly unfair and unhealthy to have that expectation.

[@chicquie5471]

Did Aussie even acknowledge that? She didn't really take accountability, just repeated she runs away to feel safe

[@caitlin9781]

Also justice for mal! She’s amazing and deserves better.

[@asarishepard8171]

Glad you're still reviewing!! Some bad apples shouldn't scare you off and I like your takes.

[@Meganb1286]

my thoughts exactly! i was way happy that she continued!

[@Erica-en2qz]

Natasha was speaking so much wisdom!

[@circe...]

Mal's friend was right. Mal is just nice to everyone.

[@lolaispure4296]

I absolutely dislike Lexi's intensity. She low key bullies Rae.

[@asareirene]

Bullies? Smh. People just throw words around these days

[@jadabraithwaite7543]

​@@asareirene ikr

[@monicapetras8227]

No she absolutely bullies Rae

[@mariella2884]

The scene next episode with the parents was incredibly hard to watch. Lexi needs to stop and listen for once.

[@marisabelcabrera5704]

Lexi does keep coming on way too strong, but I’m not so sure it’s bullying so much as she so badly wants to know with certainty that Rae loves her equally. In a way it does seem like Rae does deeply love Lexi, but she’s so tentative in the way she expresses her love that it tends to lead Lexi to interpret it as Rae not feeling or caring as much as she does.

[@afrobelle8626]

4:52 the thing is Aussie is *never* ready to address the confrontation

[@terrijones693]

That part!

[@LuvScorpio]

I absolutely love Yoly & Xander together. But my heart breaks for Mal.

[@fineandnatural]

Listen, all the friends are a whole vibe! I need those friends, too.

[@aw4460]

I’m all the way here for Natasha and her energy.

[@penneypetit]

That’s kind of why I don’t like Lexi, she’s very controlling and it looks if she’s not the one influencing Ray than she doesn’t like it. Ray has her own voice and when she uses it Lexi tried to beat it out of her - also can we talk about Lexi’s parents?! *chef’s kiss* her dad gave me chills, the way this man listens, assesses the situation and when he speaks validates everyone’s feelings and introduces a new perspective for them to consider LOVE THEM - her mom is adorable lol

[@butterflygirl141]

Lexi being so intense and over the top about Rae deciding what to do with her body is weird in this context, especially considering Lexi has an OnlyFans…

[@Erica-en2qz]

Whaaaat!

[@sappholesbos336]

I know Yoly, isn’t passing judgement on Vanessa for sex with Rae. Especially while she getting busy with Xander! I luv messy lesbians…..🤭🤣😂😘🌈

[@tgeddes7602]

😂😂😂

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

I feel like I’m in the minority with this opinion but Vanessa & Rae having sex isn’t the same as Yoly & Xander. Vanessa & Rae both have expressed there is no romantic connection between them, it meant nothing, etc. Yoly & Xander actually have feelings for each other so much so they might leave this show together sooo yes both had sex but for this duo, the sex justified the means technically because they actually see a future with each other.

[@lolaispure4296]

​@@UrbanDecayLova247 it's all sex. No " holiness" in it. Just exploring. Xander was sincere. Yoly or ehatever her name is is a master manipulatrice. She inconsistant and selfish.

[@pamelabetances143]

Literally was thinking the exact same thing 😂😂😂 it’s like she’s projecting

[@cheetahkc1775]

I love these shows so much. Natasha was the best human of the episode, I loved her blunt attitude and even holding Sam's hand to prove a point! And Aussie was actually the first character that I can see myself in. I can also shut down during confrontation because it takes me back to my childhood and feeling like every disaster in my family's life was my fault. The body language, the negative talk are so real and it's easy to lose yourself. I hope she find a way to heal through this and realize that her support circle is much larger than she realizes.....and Sam loves her entirely! Much love to you all and to you Queen E for your amazing breakdowns

[@naasac5738]

Aussie is someone who sees life as positive and happy. Anything that deviates from that, Aussie views it as a negative and runs away. Extremely childish. Life isn't always about positive moments or funny moments and Aussie needs to understand that. When Lexi kept going on and on about how she's a good woman, I rolled my eyes. I put two and two together that the reason she dislikes Vanessa is because looking at Vanessa is looking at herself. Also, does Lexie want to give Rae milk? She's continously babying her. Yeesh.

[@macarmenadoree]

I fell in love with Natasha from that one scene😂

[@mariella2884]

The Yoly/Xander scene was so awful, she smiled too much while sharing. Aussie doesn't need a relationship until Aussie gets therapy to work on communication.

[@TammyTalks]

Yoly is so messy smh

[@510cai]

Ayyye it’s Tammy !! 😍

[@ashleight18]

Heyyyy Tammy girl 😭😭

[@woodyhitya]

She’s in a tough spot but she ain’t messy at all

[@lizbrwnliz]

Mal is fake

[@penneypetit]

I don’t get the appeal - I don’t see why they’re so obsessed with her

[@michellemanu4616]

Aussie must of had sone type of childhood trauma. When she was saiying perfect repeatedly was heart wrenching💔. Maybe family expects so much of her and she feels she cant meet what is required of her.☹️ probably why she runs away as she cant deal with confrontation

[@giovannanicolas8299]

If she wants to be a man. Then she needs to man up and get over it.

[@hommefataltaemin]

@@giovannanicolas8299 that’s not a great viewpoint to have, imo. First of all, they don’t necessarily want to be a man, they haven’t really stated as far as I know what they feel their gender is other than they’re questioning. Second, you’re no less a man for having a childhood trauma that effects you to this day. The idea that it does is toxic. It plays into the gross idea that men shouldn’t have feelings or be upset about things, that their emotions aren’t valid, that there is such thing as a “real man" and that showing any upset emotion is “womanly”. Whether Aussie is in the wrong or not is a different story, but the idea that if they “want to be a man” is just not great. Anyway, just my thoughts on the matter and perhaps something to think about!

[@Meganb1286]

I think she def has childhood trauma.I watched all 4 so I don't wanna speak too soon for others.

[@sophiaec2607]

hard agree. I felt awful for them. It was very clear it was the first time they'd ever really like consciously realised how much their childhood traumatised them, realising it was the root of all the emotional overwhelm that they were experiencing. Obviously not an "excuse" for poor behaviour, but i really empathise with Aussie, I can't imagine going that long without access to therapy, being able to address stuff, etc. and having to have that moment on reality TV. 😢

[@mareikeschaufele6741]

​@@giovannanicolas8299 bs, Aussie needs therapy

[@catinthekitchen1]

I deleted netflix so I'm relying on you to keep me up to date on this, great commentary!

[@pointnexter03]

I need to see more of Natasha tbh

[@letyoufindme]

They are so fine 😫

[@ChaiJiu4432]

Sooooooo true. I’m like WHOS THAT

[@youtriedit1626]

i want to see xanders exes pre-vanessa cause i kinda feel like this is a “first pretty girl” type of situation. i know some people are more forgiving when people are “conventionally attractive” and they don’t typically attract people on that level. blinded by looks.

[@CARATMom]

Is it just me, or is Xander more attractive than Vanessa? Because I keep wondering why Vanessa has pretty girl energy.

[@youtriedit1626]

@@CARATMom lol it’s not just you, xander is infinitely more attractive (imo). i was thinking in the more traditional beauty standards way. plus xander is masc

[@letyoufindme]

Xander prior to being/dressing non-binary was actually prettier than Vanessa imo. Def give it a google. I did a double take and was confused w/ their long hair

[@yuhsabitv]

Xander has been with Vanessa since high-school, so I doubt there are any other exes

[@ethelrocks553]

Pleaaaasssseee get into that conspiracy theory! Okay! The math is not mathing

[@Loyaltee55]

Block out the haters!!! Focus on us , the people who love your reviews!!!

[@andreasmiff]

I haven’t watched a single episode of the show. I’ve only watched your reviews bc they’re the best!😅

[@coralbluenumber7lipstick688]

I love your recaps so muchhh! You're so consistent

[@peachyy666]

Aussie is soooo much like my ex. Gah. I had to work at him to find out why he was upset or to even just resolve a mutual issue/or issue i had, and most of the time it was a waiting game until he was willing to entertain a conversation with me. Life can be so much easier than that

[@grimes2000]

glad you decided to keep reviewing this season :)

[@pamaerysovershares7373]

So happy you decided to continue sthandwa 🌻 I’m DYING to see the next couple reviews 😭 wow wow

[@californiadreaming567]

Lexie acts like a prosecutor in the relationship and needs someone stronger to push back against her. Miserable relationship

[@saranghaejazzmin]

Sam doesn't put up with things so much as knows the work around for Aussie's issues with handling conflict as evidenced by her advising Mildred on how best to speak with Aussie about issues. You don't know what trauma Aussie might have experienced in life to where she needs someone to approach with tact. I suspect that is likely the cause and not immaturity. Mildred disregarded how Aussie handles conflict and just starts grilling her and doesn't let up which was never going to be a winning tactic for conflict adverse people. You can even tell by how Tiff is realizing how a relationship should be when she's with Sam as opposed to Mildred - Tiff survived being with Mildred by knowing she couldn't be herself. Mildred is toxic, period

[@britneyh8679]

I see this differently . Mildred needs to communicate more clearly but I think her reaction to Aussie is normal . Not sure how far you’ve watched so skip if you don’t want to spoiler.Notice how Aussie told Mildred exactly what she wanted to hear that she Aussie had changed her mind after talking to Mildred and now wanted Marriage. She promised to cook for Mildred and help out with the chores. Afterwards when talking with her friend she admitted that she was still scared of marriage. This surprised Mildred.Mildred then found herself doing ALL the chores and Aussie didn’t make one meal like she had promised. Mildred confronted Aussie more than once and each time Aussie shut down the convo . I think this is a method of control on Aussies part which forces the other person to silence their concerns and walk on eggshells so Aussie can avoid accountability.When Mildred brings these things up in-front of the group Aussies response is ‘that’s not true’. Basically framing the Mildreds experience as a lie.

[@expatinOz85]

​@@britneyh8679 Aussie was totally gaslighting her.

[@dmckdc]

Yay so glad you are continuing 🎉❤

[@blufaerie]

Natasha was a whole vibe and needs their own show.

[@shannonshannonbobannon5040]

Your recaps are the best ma’am.

[@zagorskaewelina]

I just wanted to say I love your reviews. Please continue.

[@Ally_and_Gigs]

Aussie sounds like they are still struggling with confrontation as a result of childhood events, and I feel like they could benefit from therapy

[@stephanieyun1872]

Oh yay! I'm happy to see that you decided to continue on!

[@lbe3485]

yes! glad you decided to continue :)

[@thisaccount765]

Pre-run, the way Mildred was working on Aussie was bothering me a bit. Mildred was treating Aussie like she’d known them and had been frustrated by them for years and years. Aussie may need therapy, but Mildred needed to take several seats

[@saranghaejazzmin]

In the videos teasing whats to come they have parents saying something like "it seems you want these 2 girls to continue to fight for you" or something like that. This could only be Yoli imo

[@JennyMcGreen]

When you love someone , sometimes you wait in hopes of them coming around. That’s why Xander is still there. Some people wait DECADES!!

[@carolinavillarreal6383]

Thank you for continuing the recaps - from a queer person

[@julest5767]

sending you some love!! enjoy your thoughts!

[@courtpotter611]

I hope xander and Yoly leave together, but idk about yoly, it seems like the feelings aren't exactly reciprocated

[@brianahkatrianah6738]

Yoli Clips in episode six or so edited like one minute she has lipstick and then the next minute she does it

[@sonalshah3762]

I loved Natasha, Like make her the host next season She straight up spoke the facts & had no BS

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I loved Mal’s friend so damn much!

[@alexis-marie_9920]

yall know me .. im extra virgin olive oil , i dont know nothing about nothing but is that a hickey on Xanders neck? or a rash ?

[@elisab.2398]

Looked like a lip print to me, it matches Yoly's lipstick in that scene.

[@alexis-marie_9920]

@@elisab.2398 lol why not rub it off lol

[@paintitblack9712]

Tattoo I think?

[@EricaBonnee]

I’m trying to figure out why Tiff is on the show. They aren’t fully participating in the process.

[@dianaavila9228]

My theory is theyre scared of Mildred

[@EricaBonnee]

@@dianaavila9228 If they are that scared they should have just said yes to getting married.

[@Danielle2Cats]

I like Tiff, tho. I'm glad she's on the show.

[@AnaAcuraErica]

Saying they is so confusing.. I really pray and hope that one day our culture will move on from this - hard! It’s setting the English language back more than it already it and is simply unnecessary. She’s a girl so her pronoun is her and she. That’s it. That’s all of it!! And also, Tiff I’m sure isn’t scared of Mildred but I do think she’s scared of being alone bcus why stick in such a toxic relationship with Mildred if she doesn’t fear that no one else wants her like that. Her anger issues are eye opening and hopefully she can work on herself after viewing this season 😳

[@Ima_Wake]

​​@@AnaAcuraErica Some languages assigned gender to words and millions of people speak it everyday. You will be fine. Also if you're as much of a linguist as you're trying to be you would know that language evolves in this is just that.

[@yemio1005]

People be using the word Love soooo easily it’s crazy. It’s infatuation. There is no way you can love someone you barely know🙄

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

12:58 Mal says otherwise lol

[@MrsGruder]

Great review

[@user-vj3sc5hh1h]

바네사랑 레이는 합의하에 섹스했는데 렉시는 바네사가 레이에게 폭력을 쓴것처럼 말하고 다닌다😂😂😂그리고 그 사실을 할아버지에게 설명하겠다고했다 렉시도 이상해😂😂😂

[@sisiphopieters1.162]

Enkosi sis ngobukho bakho. ungatyafi❤

[@dmckdc]

Aussie has serious issues …. She kinda scares me with how she acts at the end of episode 8

[@giovannanicolas8299]

She doesn’t care about anyone else but her. She seem very childish.

[@kriss939]

Same, she needs to grow up and do some serious self reflecting

[@dianaavila9228]

Yea it's seems like she has some unresolved trauma and needs some serious therapy

[@meganallday]

I really felt for her. She is clearly hurting deeply. I hope she seeks therapy, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and she deserves to heal.

[@KatM272]

I mean…. Did anyone else read Rae’s story yesterday about how she drank so much she “blacked out” and something along the lines of not wanting that to happen again. Based on that alone, it makes me wonder if they were both drunk and why there wasn’t more pause if there was a sober person, that’s not the night 🤷🏻‍♀️ hope I’m just reading too much into it.

[@caitlin9781]

I’m so glad you continued! I love your reviews almost as much as the show. Also not a fan of Lexi these days!! I think she thinks she’s a lot more mature than she actually is

[@ceokc13]

I’m not going to lie after watching all the episodes I’ll be shocked if she and Xander don’t walk out of this show together

[@justsobrandi1142]

Aussie had to leave that's to much drama and OCD fir daily life to deal with.

[@theusebieocean8609]

Yoli or whatever her name is, is a RED FLAG! 😂😂 Also, Vanessa is dangerous AF 🥹🤣 This whole show is a mess!💀

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I think Rae is just reserved

[@AprilHatten-hs4mh]

I aspire to be like Aussie. Aussie was like you going to argue with yourself.

[@WilliamsPinch]

Aspiring to be like someone emotionally stunted lol. She’s not unbothered. She’s cowardly and she has low self-value that she’s confronted with anytime someone is displeased with her.

[@AprilHatten-hs4mh]

Channeling my inner Aussie with this response to my comment. LMAO!

[@girlfrienddd101]

Omg 😂😂😂😂😂

[@girlfrienddd101]

Channeling my inner Aussie is funny af

[@AnaAcuraErica]

@@WilliamsPinchYou don’t know what’s going on in Aussies mind for you to speak on it like that. You can speculate and that’s cool. So can I: I think Aussie simply doesn’t like drama being @42 yrs old - she looks @the younger people having drama and sees through it or sees it as unnecessary. Which is why she called the ladies out at the table earlier that evening. She wanted everyone to calm down being that she could see how immature and foolish they were looking and sounding. Aussie resonates with me being in older now and look @people with vigor like Mildred as little demons that I don’t need to talk to. Life experience will do that to you not childhood trauma that’s trapped. Give Aussie more credit and realize that all arguments don’t solve anything. I have had an easy childhood yet got into many arguments in my time // and to now see what Aussie sees is cool!! No one has time for all that bs! You can just tell when someone like Mildred is about to explode and if you value yourself and well-being - get urself away from people like that! TD Jakes makes a good analogy to David and Goliath when it comes to this. If David was going around town, fighting all battles big and small - he would’ve had no strength for Goliath, the battle that mattered. Not all arguments are worth it and especially On NATIONAL TELEVISION IJS 🤮

[@monicapetras8227]

😢

[@ImpishlyDevious]

✨🫶🏽💃🏻✨

[@TheVenusBlueprint]

Please people are always projecting their insecurities on the internet …. Just let me talk it has nothing to do with you