The Vulnerability of Practice: Understanding the Emotional Side of Making Music

[@MrBriang1]

Wow, wow, wow.... thank you Aimee. Practicing, recording, just playing, with other people in your living space where you're feeling that you are "bothering" them is a real thing!!

[@shane5022]

It's lovely to hear I'm not alone in this. Being in earshot of other people completely changes how I practice; I become almost apologetic and performative. There's something so peaceful about being unheard when composing.

[@katkluczy]

Yes, yes, yes! Privacy is everything when you practice and compose. Thank you for sharing this.

[@bstein9500]

100% It's mine when it's in progress. Art is close to our hearts. It's our souls exposed. In the midst of the process it is raw, visceral, and too true. Once it's processed, we can expose it, but even then it's tough. Some never get past it. We rob the world if we don't expose ourselves to their gaze. We rob ourselves if we allow others opinions to mean too much. It's not a painting. It's never polished enough for most musicians. Love your videos.

[@jessesingersongwriter]

Totally relate, I've never been able practice comfortably when anyone could hear me. Have egg crated and packing blanketed many a room over the years. My little studio in the garage isn't air conditioned so I was forced to bring my keyboard into the house this summer. Grinding out the grunt work of nitty gritty practicing, learning piano late in life, I was bummed that my wife could now hear me. She's a total John, however, I apologized for the repetitive musical exercises going on in the house, but she doesn't mind at all. Enjoys it even. A few of us get lucky in mates, grateful every day.

[@jazznutz]

As a sax player who had always lived in apartments I extra relate and now you get why I cringe when people say "why don't you go practice in the park"?

[@cademosley4886]

One of my favorite sayings is that practicing is like driving a bus in a parking lot and a performance is like riding a bicycle on the freeway. It really captures the emotions you're feeling in those moments. I feel that image of this massive bus bumbling around in this cramped and limited space in methodical fits and starts. What I also like is the connection between the two images. In order to stay on that bike and not get run over, you gotta keep rolling that bus until you get fluent around those tight curves.

[@insidejazzguitar8112]

Mrs. Rogers, you are the coolest! Yes, I get up at four in the morning so I have a couple of hours before the others are up and the day starts.

[@mixville2]

So very true. Aimee, you are really good at putting your finger on things we all experience, but rarely define or think about. My own lovely, unerringly supportive wife of 33 years hears me all the time . . . I'm a singer, guitarist and keyboardist . . . and while I do have a home studio that is well treated for recording, it is not soundproof. So when I'm doing genuine practicing or writing, not simply playing songs, but stops and starts - mistakes, re-dos, or trying something new and novel that I have to play repeatedly over and over and over, I ALWAYS feel funny about it. Vulnerable is definitely the word. As always a thoughtful, and pretty well self-enlightening video. Love your beautifully human focus in music.

[@mbenn8168]

I think lots of us have 'imposter syndrome', particularly if people compliment something they overhear - we'd all like to be perfect virtuosos that churn out excellence 24/7. When I was young I didn't mind who could hear, but as I have gotten older, I am much more sensitive "Oh, he's how old? Why isn't he playing like Beethoven, Victor Wooten, Jaco or Neil Peart? Why has he got such nice guitars if he cannot play like Eric Johnson, I heard him make a mistake ha!?" It is a paranoia, and no one is thinking that either. You know it. In my happy world I have a soundproofed room I can just go full tilt in, and if I make a mistake, I don't feel humiliated, I can replay it 10000 times if I want and no one will have a breakdown. I'll only ever be as good as I can be - This video has been like therapy, I had no idea other people felt so similarly to me.

[@myrahochreutener2040]

Thank you indeed for your heart shaking video. Love from Switzerland.

[@dixzi1687]

thank you so much aimee. i am a teen musician and i really dont like playing loudly because i dont want people to hear me. this helps me know its a normal thing.

[@AimeeNolte]

💙

[@aussiechiro]

Being a horn player is a curse too. One thing I worked out 22 years ago was that whenever I moved into a new appartment, as long as I only ever played with backing tracks, even really late into the evening, neighbors never realised that there was a musician in the building. They just thought someone was playing music. However, if I played scales, arpeggios etc solo. Anything the average Moron would sense as being "practice", then that would instantly trigger complaints. So I had 27 Aebersold albums and played 4+hrs per day for 10 years. Even got compliments and queries about my taste in music a couple times. 🤣

[@pds002]

This is so timely and I can relate to so much of it. Thank you for sharing. Watching your videos, frequently, I feel as if I know you and that you are a friend of mine. It's your very natural, kind manner and ability to teach, of course. What a lovely and talented person you are. Now it has been a pleasure to learn about John and your special relationship. I'm very new to piano, have an acoustic one in an open room and a keyboard in my office. I crave so much to play and have had a spate of enjoying an intense week, with good progress, then getting house guests who stay for days or weeks. It's very frustrating. Sometimes I'm happy for my lovely wife to hear me practicing, but other times I want her to leave me alone too. I'm so pleased you have shared this because I feel somewhat normal again. Thank you.

[@Audiojunkk]

This is so true. I used to make music at home but when covid hit and everyone started working from home the banging on the walls started. It was so difficult to even turn my computer on and start let alone work on something to completion. So after 10 years of making music at home I have been in a studio for a year and in that time have made more music than I ever have in that space of time. The feeling that you are annoying someone when you are making your art is so stifling and limiting and adds a hell of a lot of friction to the process!

[@image30p]

I understand the banging!

[@miltcarlton2593]

I definitely understand completely. As a graduate student I was practicing the accompaniment for a singers recital. I was her accompanist. I loved accompanying singers. I was practicing in the auditorium on the beautiful grand piano and heard footsteps. Gwendolyn kaldofski was on campus preparing for a concert that she was playing for Marilyn Horne. She walked up onto the stage and complimented me on my playing and then pointed out that I had played I believe it was a B natural instead of a B-flat. She knew her music so well that she knew in the edition I was using what page, what line, and what measure. I don’t know how long she had been listening but I have always appreciated the fact that she cared enough to point out my mistake. She said she’d like to try the piano if she could and then she would be very brief so that I could return to my practice. She then simply played a chromatic scale The entire length of the 88 keys. I think it’s the only time that I wasn’t concerned about someone listening while I was practicing, and I will never forget the humility she showed me. Thank you for sharing your feelings as it really stirred very old feelings in me.

[@connshawnery6489]

For the last 15 years I’ve had a separate space that I can practice openly, honestly and privately. It’s important for any artist I think, because whenever a spectator is involved, it’s changes the energy, adding an element that recedes your freedom to make deliberate and un-entertaining sounds, mistakes and experiments with your instrument. I had the experience of that kind of support you spoke about, with my parents growing up. Whenever I would practice, I noticed they would mute the TV and listen. No criticism or questions to go along with it either. Just encouraging positive vibes.

[@marshwetland3808]

Yeah, I'm feeling from this video that Aimee really needs some regular private exploration time. That's what I'm seeing and hearing. We might love our partner, but that doesn't mean we lose all boundaries or need for privacy, freedom from being watched, however kindly/innocently, and need for solitude. Just you and the music.

[@seankm6nfo990]

I've never heard anyone talk about this. Thank you so much, Aimee.

[@jcortese3300]

This is probably the single reason why I love digital pianos. People run them down and (IMO) pretend they can instantly hear the difference between them and an acoustic, or they insist there are differences in feel when they are nothing compared to the differences in feel between two acoustics. But THEY COME WITH HEADPHONES. My ability skyrocketed when I was 40 and bought myself a Clavinova after eight years of childhood lessons with an acoustic, because I could play something 350 times in a row to get it right without any concerns or even any thoughts of the outside world. I even started composing and arranging. The only people I don't mind practicing -- or even playing -- in front of are musicians, because they get it. High-quality digital pianos are a miracle. They are a godsend. I think part of why I love the harp so much is because it's quiet and doesn't carry like a piano.

[@John-boy]

I don’t have the space for a good sounding acoustic piano, especially not a great sounding grand. I play a Yamaha digital in my small music room and practice with headphones if there are others in the house. I’m always aware if others can hear me practicing technique, and it inhibits me unless I have headphones on. But actually “playing’ for others on a nice acoustic is such a pleasure, especially to overcome that “stage fright” a lot of us have.

[@heldenby]

Unless, like myself, you really only enjoy playing whilst singing. Not sure hearing someone singing whilst not hearing the piano is better or worse?😉

[@John-boy]

@@heldenby I don’t like to sing and solo piano is a different sort of skill from comping yourself imo that requires lots of technique repetition that can drive listeners crazy😂

[@mattherman6189]

Yeah, Wow! This is deep. And yeah, even as a beginner.... this speaks to me. I am one of many thousands nodding their heads. Thanks again, Aimee. Go ahead Mister Rogers! This is sorely needed by many, many people. Not at all phony. Moving.

[@dallascowboys75006]

Amazing video and topic ... I just watched this toight and coincidentally, not two hours ago was I in my music studio , telling myself how fortunate it was to have a private studio to practice in. I am a guitar player leaning to sing at the young age of 47 - I am making progress and feel a big part of that is due to the fact that I have a rehearsal/recording studio that I can go to 24/7, with everything I need at my disposal and the freedom to be as loud as I want, fail as hard as I need to fail, play the same thing as many times in a row as needed...etc... Without having to consider anyone. I have a hard time imagining how the journey would be learning at sing at 47, without the space and in a house full of family and kids. Thank you for sharing and showing your humanity - it's takes much more than knowledge and skill to have a successful YT channel and connect with people - and you are a master at it. Rest assured that you will be with me on my journey of becoming a singer... I will soon be able to share my new found talent with others! Love you - keep it up and do nott stop contacting with our humanity - we are better people because of it and because of you!

[@estarling8766]

I practice acoustic guitar in the presence of my rabbit, a silent and patient pet. When she falls asleep, not far from me, I know everything is going good for both of us. :-)

[@dandaniel3488]

Bravo! Thank you for words. You speak an indisputable truth. A writer will be alone as long as he wants to finish his work. He will rewrite chapters but no one will know. it will be just him and his book...... Which doesn't happen with a musician and I didn't think about it until now, me not being a musician, but just an old man who bought an electronic piano for that he really wanted it, but you are very right. Your words did me a lot of good. Thank you.

[@Jon_Bass4001]

Ah yes, being home alone for practice is such a joy. I so appreciate being able to open up and play through an amp instead of a DAW. All the best!

[@michaelbrown5382]

Thank you for this! - I can really relate. I even had problems feeling comfortable playing in practice rooms in college - almost harder because you know other music students are listening - and we can't help sometimes measuring ourselves against each other. I just started teaching piano recently and I need to try to remember this for my students as well. Really enjoy your videos.

[@cmbeckett878]

Very in tune, heartfelt video. Thank you. Best thing I ever did was sound proof an 8 foot by 5 foot closet in the basement now I can wail away to the wee hours of the morning without bothering anyone.

[@1950francesca]

This struck a chord with me ( NPI!) because my history includes a father who was extremely gifted musically and I was conscious of his listening when I practiced- and not always approvingly. Now, at 72, I still struggle with anxiety about practicing and tend to procrastinate doing it. I too have a very supportive husband who, while not always listening, has been unconditionally encouraging. It has helped in my later years to realize that practicing is not a performance and that I am my own worst critic. It can even be a meditative process if I can get the evaluative soundtrack out of my head. Your video helped remind me of that. Thank you!

[@paulrodberg]

Yamaha Made a series of wonderful mutes for brass called “silent brass”, without which practicing a trombone creates terrifying emotional obstacles. Of course it is like playing a keyboard instead of a grand piano. I certainly get “your drift”. Thanks for your wonderful gifts to us all.

[@mikel917]

That blows me away that your spouse is so supportive! That's worth its weight in gold. My wife thinks my music is nothing but selfishness. But I'm still striving to make my first album and I'm hoping to go back and study music at the University of Alabama in Huntsville. I was taking lessons from the guitar professor there and he was encouraging me to enroll but I got zero encouragement from my wife so I got discouraged about it. Your channel is very unique and full of encouragement. Thanks!

[@mabeline7]

I can so relate! (Long boring story you may want to skip follows) I don’t really remember thinking about bothering my family when I practiced my violin or guitars growing up. Back then, it was much more common for people, at least in my family, to make such noise. My mom would play her records / the radio loud enough to hear throughout the house while cleaning & cooking etc, and both my sister and I had record players (eventually cassettes) and radios that we would play without being expected to wear headphones, and often there were multiple stereos blasting at the same time! I was more self conscious about them hearing me sing along with my guitar. I had turned my small closet into a prayer closet, and I used to squeeze in there with my acoustic guitar for privacy. Jump to when my kids were growing up, things were quite different. When they were little, I had a stereo system in the kitchen that i used to blast music throughout the house, but I after I got sick and went through chemo that changed. The kids grew up with more portable music- MP3 players and phones- and for the most part we all have used headphones (except for my husband but that’s a different story) and played our music to ourselves. Jump again to a year & a half ago, I took up playing the guitar again, but left-handed, so basically I am back to being a newbie. I was (am) very aware of the others as I started practicing. My guitar teacher (who is 20 or so years younger than I am) told me that when there is a musician in the family, the others just have to adjust. Funny that it was as an adult, in a home I own, that I needed someone to give my permission basically to practice! You are lucky to have someone that not only does not mind hearing you play but actively seeks it out. I would have to drag my husband to my room to get him to listen, and even then it would be just to some small specific bit, he would never have the patience for an entire song. Even as kid, my parents would go to concerts I was in, but at home they didn’t sit and listen to me. My sister played the clarinet for a couple years and my mom would get a cup of coffee and go sit in my sister’s room and listen, but she would never come listen to me practice violin or guitar, even when invited. When I got my electric guitar, my dad took my amp that did not have a headphone jack and installed one himself, so I was well aware that nobody wanted to hear me play, at least not my family. My friends and even my friends’ parents would actually request I play, so at least I had that.

[@AimeeNolte]

I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. I would have listened. ♥️

[@mabeline7]

@@AimeeNolte So sweet ❣️ I survived 🤷‍♂️

[@raelynn6832]

I only discovered you a few days ago but i absolutely love your energy, your openness, your realness and dedication and love for what you do. Thanks for all of your videos, they're so helpful, full of info and yet pleasurable to watch. I'll be happily donating to your channel asap. Love from Rachel in London, U.K

[@billnicholson1220]

I retired in 2020, upgraded my Clavinova to a newer model and have a zoom teacher from Tucson. I love having the headset to wear, because it is my private time. It’s crazy how two people in a house can limit privacy. I get more private time when I go for a bike ride.

[@thepostapocalyptictrio4762]

I used to love the practice rooms when I was in college. The classical piano students acted as if they personally owned each and every piano there. You should have seen the dirty looks they gave me when I was ripping some country/blues/jazz licks in the practice room .Fun times...

[@AimeeNolte]

Relatable

[@jimkangas4176]

Know it well. I used to have a "studio" (ok, another bedroom) before we downsized and I really miss it. My wife tries to be supportive, but at one point I recall her saying, "why do u have to keep playing the same thing over and over"? Hard to explain what this feels like, much like when you tell someone you're a musician, and they say, "are you any good"? Late nights are good for me.

[@carialam8394]

The title alone 👍🏾you nailed it

[@TomBelknapRoc]

This is a great blog and thank you for sharing. I'm a drummer, so practicing alone is necessary. I have to kick people out of the house or find any excuse to get them out of the house in order for me to make the proper noise. Because man, if you think your practice sounds bad? You got no idea what it's like to be a drummer. I think this might be a big reason why bands are so important: even if you can't be completely free to practice whatever instrument-specific chops you want to, at least you're in a room with other musicians who can be vulnerable in front of. I find what excuses I can to play MIDI instruments because as you say, it requires no "noise." But it feels deeply unfair: I'm not able to be my authentic self in my house. It's not anybody else's fault but it is a major stumbling block to regular, focused practice.

[@BrodySchoonMusic]

tl;dr, this video resonated with me and if this video resonated with you TALK TO SOMEONE PRACTICING CAN BE FREEING AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BE NERVE-RACKING! "If you wait for everyone to leave to practice, then you will be waiting more than you are practicing." - Brody Schoon (Writer of "Familiar Dream" and "Songs from my Junior Year") This is EXACTLY what I went through! In my case my parents adored my piano playing so much that after I finished practicing a song, they would clap and cheer for me. This is super sweet of them, but I felt like every time I played piano at home, it was a performance. I feel like most people would agree that not feeling ready for a performance is SUPER anxiety-inducing, and that's what I felt every time I thought about practicing at home. I did sort of have it better than Aimee did though, she waited longer than I did to find a solution for this. See, when I was around 12 (5 years of playing at this point), after a piano recital, my grandparents teased me by asking me why I never practiced, and I didn't really have an answer for them; I couldn't pinpoint why I didn't like it. I eventually said something like, "Sometimes I just wish I could practice without anybody listening, like I wish I could plug headphones into my piano." IMMEDIATELY we all realized that there literally are pianos where that's possible, so my parents asked me, "If we got you one of those would you practice?" We were all astounded that there might be a direct solution, but realizing they were actually going to go through with it, I gave a guilty "I don't know" and tried to get them to drop it. Luckily my grandma is crazy supportive and loves piano, so for my birthday she bought a Yamaha Clavinova for me and headphones to go with it, and with that I actually began to practice HABITUALLY. The coolest part about all of this is that with that piano I could record my playing and listen back to it, so I have a literal record to showcase how my playing SKYROCKETED after I actually started practicing. I knew teachers always told me to practice but no teacher has ever motivated me to practice more than seeing my own skill increase that much due to the work I put in. Seriously, if you struggle with practicing, that is a fixable problem. Practicing I now (mostly) find incredibly fun and I don't know that I would be the musician or even the person I am today if I hadn't realized the issue with my practicing. HELP IS OUT THERE YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK FOR IT! also the ending has me crying like thank you

[@memetherapy]

I love this video and your vulnerability. Every musician has felt this. Not just with people overhearing us practice, but with any band you're in. The gap between improvised jamming composition and more worked thoughtful slow composition, which approaches the limit of impossible the more people involved, is huge. It's interesting to think why music is different than visual arts. There are 2 major differences. One is that sound travels and literally takes up place. You cannot avoid it if its perceivable. You can't look away from sound, like you would anything visual. Practicing around someone would be like forcing someone to keep their eyes glued on your canvas as you paint. There is no choice in the matter if you're within hearing range. Secondly, most visual art has a permanent element to it. When you paint, you cannot remove the paint and try another color (there are ways, but its very cumbersome and untidy). So with music you might try different things along the way, repeating, twisting, removing, adding, etc. It isn't a process of getting something onto a canvas... the canvas with music composition is initially in your own fingers and head. And so it is open to constant change. A closer analogy to music composition would be video editing, but the video editor initially has to fail multiple times before the implemented change comes out properly.

[@Cliffswanson]

Oh wow, this so hits the nail on my head! Thanks for your insight Aimee.

[@tess3709]

wow, i can relate to this so much. when i was living in my school’s dorm briefly during covid, the practice rooms were closed down and i felt like i was being literally choked, not feeling free to practice. it was insane, needing to practice but knowing everyone was in the dorms around me 24/7, IN THEIR ZOOM CLASSES. it felt like my voice was stolen out of my body, or rather restlessly trapped inside me. i never realized until then how much i valued time alone to practice and how self conscious i was about certain elements of practicing. practicing keyboard was doable, i could put my headphones in, but i never was able to practice vocal technique the way i needed to in that setting, i moved back home pretty quickly.

[@josephlavecchia8069]

And then you realize that sometimes those practice rooms themselves aren’t even private either 🙃 Great video!!

[@Alpha-Andromeda]

Aimee, I know language is dying and no one really cares but you’re a cultured woman and many people watch your videos, it’s “I wish I WERE alone”. Thank you.

[@AimeeNolte]

We battled btwn which was more appropriate and settled in WAS.

[@Benry1]

relate to this so much. I found that i made leaps and bounds of progress when I had an actual woodshed to practice in. now that i live in an apartment I feel guilty running scales for half an hour because i feel like my neighbors get annoyed. good video!

[@angiekolobok]

thank you for making this video, it's so validating to hear!! I feel the same way, when there's other people at home I can't really practice the things I need because I feel awkward being too loud with voice warmups and making obnoxious sounds or making mistakes...

[@TomMarvan]

Thank you for another lovely video which, of course, is not only on the topic vulnerability, but is also itself vulnerable or, more accurately, you are opening yourself up to vulnerability by sharing your thoughts with 1/4 of a million people who are your subscribers, and potentially many more. And because the result is so insightful and creative and joyful (4:00 the reaction to take out food!), it may encourage some of us to do the same - to pick up that guitar, practice more, record some music, order pizza 🍕- because the results can also produce magic.

[@christheother9088]

Recently changed to a keyboard with headphones ( small house and my significant other wasn't mixing well with the piano ). Took awhile to adjust. Then I set up midi and found a nice grand piano sound that really changed everything. Deep bass, reverb - something my spinet just never could do. Oh, and perfect tuning. Now I prefer it.

[@gr8tbigtreehugger]

Same here! Thinking about writing a plugin for MuseScore to grade my practicing. (Currently practice into Cubase, so I can analyze my performances after.)

[@kaplanyx]

Oh thank you! That helps me. I used to think I was just uptight in a situation like this.

[@2HimTru]

Would LOVE to see a Vocal Tutorial of how The two male vocal members of The Mamas and Papas created their parts for "Monday, Monday". People today still love this tune!

[@jennhawkins5356]

That is so true ❤ I like to be hidden and you can’t hide when you sing or play. It’s vulnerable.

[@timothybarrd.c.185]

I do know what you are talking about and I am so thankful for you posting this. I always thought I was alone in this and you, such an accomplished outgoing, jamming jazzer how could you possibly think this? I too loved the sanctity of the music building practice rooms.

[@SageGarlandSingerSongwriter]

Thank you for this. I feel heard- in a good way!

[@SirFuguesALot]

This is really relatable! I've been working on a difficult piece over the past month and sometimes worry how the family feels hearing the same passages broken apart and practiced over time. No complaints yet, at least!

[@Anzhela.Piano-Life]

Great topic, Aimee, thank you for sharing your thoughts, it resonates with me as well! 🎶🙏

[@vermithrax-pejorative]

Wow, yes, exactly! Thank you for giving me permission to feel that way!

[@garbo9938]

Amazing video that I needed to hear!! I find as well for me that along with this vulnerability there's also a layer of fear. Weather it would be while practicing or just studying I get quite scared of failure, or not understanding the content. And it's when I really pull myself together and put aside these vulnerabilities and just get my head down that I start seeing positive results. It's a gruelling journey, but one that's worth it! (or maybe I should just stop procrastinating haha!)

[@CatioChic3catsJazz]

Thanks Aimee

[@studioeekim]

I can't help to leave a comment here, thank you Aimee for your great sharing...even until now I feel so vulnerable to really "practice" just before my students come while I am waiting for them. I don't know but I just feel shameful or awkward if a parent or my student heard that me just playing something sounds 'non make sense' and not smooth at all... So I just can "play" something instead of "practicing"

[@adelynnelson402]

Thank you so much for this video, and all the love you share with this world. Your presence is such a comfort and blessing to all of us. ❤

[@streetlegal008]

I noticed that when I was playing my electric guitar, I was playing quieter and quieter through the amp, as I was so concerned about neighbours hearing me. The answer of course was headphones for the electric guitar or keyboard - but this doesn't work for other instruments, so other kinds of muting are required. I'm sure no-one is remotely interested in whether I am playing or not - but I'd just rather that I could be sure they couldn't hear me. I suppose we all should have a coke and a smile and just get over ourselves! Good advice for life as well as for music-making, I think.

[@rogeralleyne9257]

This is a great lesson about the journey! The things that become apparently sacred for musicians were things most of us took for granted until their gone: Privacy & Time 🤔🤔🤔

[@wildautoharp]

I've been a musician now for 50 years, and this privacy syndrome for me has become worse as time has gone on. I'm a professional teacher and luthier, so it's easy to be "too tired" to practice my own instrument(s) at day's end, and recently that's all fallen silent. I'm hoping it's a phase, but I feel better, not pushing myself anymore and not beating myself up for stopping. I revel in the successes of my students.

[@priscilam.9808]

I struggled a lot during the pandemic being in lockdown. I lost my job. My brothers were doing home office. My mom was home too. Im actually 40, Im the youngest of everyone at home. I have been having singing lessons for some years now. And Im watching your videos with tears streaming down my face. You reminded me that every time my late dad would play the acoustic guitar, he passed away before smartphones were around for me to make a video or record the sound of him playing. Id listen to him play. And I never had that. Only harsh judgment from my mom, who plays the piano and the flute pretty well. Telling me that there is people who have talent for music but *we* dont. I still struggle to play at home. Sorry for the long rant but thanks for reminding me of watching and listening my dad play without judgement.

[@image30p]

❤

[@Fiascopia]

What a fantastic video, so interesting how you picked up on those swirls of emotion that surround practice when you feel the presence of other people. Especially when I write, I feel like I am acting or I have to become someone else and I have to navigate my way into that space which can be a bit of a strange and disconnected process.

[@owonobrandon8747]

much love to you!

[@raynavarrette5025]

As a harmonica player, my car is the most private place to practice. This instrument's portability is one of the strongest advantages it has over some other instrument, I mean next to my voice, it's always at the ready for working on tunes. And if I use my recording app on my phone, I can play through a big variety of amps and effects if I want to, to the point where it can sound and feel like I'm actually on a big stage or a real recording studio, very motivating .

[@ineskatrin_music]

Thank you so much for this video. I shared your video with my husband- probably hes is my "John". I often talk with him about this ... maybe he now understand what I mean without hurting him.

[@skylar1242]

We all need a John in our lives

[@MrBobrguitar]

it it took some 36 years before I got my own practice room! finally I had that security that you speak of. then, my wife and I moved into an apartment ( after my kids grew up) after living in a home for 30 years and I lost my room. now, I've been playing guitar for 50 years and have been married for 37 of them. my wife has heard me play all through those years but she rarely just sits down to listen. in our apartment I have to play in a room that she's in and although I trust her and love her it really feels uncomfortable . SO,, after much discussion I've decided to ask her to leave!! :-)) NOOoooo, I'm kidding we are still very happily married..!! however,we still haven't found an answer to our problem

[@ThomasATorr]

Spot on Aimee. It is good that John always listens. My wife. just tunes me out, I’m fine with that except when I’ve played something very well that I’ve been working on, and I ask if she heard heard it. LOL.

[@mikezingone9471]

Thanks for making this video! I am a decent vocalist that would probably be a lot better if I were able to practice singing in private! I end up chickening out more often than not and can never gain momentum! I did feel alone in these thoughts until today! Thank you!

[@johannes583]

Thank you!

[@IAmGadzooks]

thank you so much for sharing this, aimee! i can definitely relate. it's comforting to know that an established, professional musician also feels this way

[@IgnisConsumens]

I hardly practice anymore, not that I have ever been super diligent about it, and I know it shows in my playing. And yet I continue to play for community bands who tolerate me. So they have become my “John“ and I suppose all our band mates are for each other. I appreciated hearing about the vulnerability needed to work through things, as it is also an important part of prayer and spiritual direction. I am grateful for the quality of your marriage and for your and John’s willingness to present yourselves as an example for creators of every caliber.

[@kenneth1767]

I believe in the importance of sacred spaces, in all pursuits. And practicing is as holy an act as performing on stage. We do need our mountain vistas of solitude to access new depths within.

[@PopovSB]

This video is very important and timely. Thank you!

[@3210vca]

this kind of sentiment takes many forms in varied places together with or without other people around. l can't express it. I wish I was articulate as Ms. Aimee. Example, why do I read classical literature in solititude and hide them from friends who might tease me . I dabble in stocks and am self taught in technical analysis and can read charts with a certain amount of confidence and make decisions with conviction. But I don't want to share that with friends and family who don't care for it. But I also don't discuss it with stockbroker friends.... I'm off tangent, but one thing's for sure. I really enjoy this youtube channel

[@AimeeNolte]

I guess maybe you just haven’t found the right friend yet.💙

[@alexwiththeglasses]

Tyvm for the thoughtful video & channel content.🙏 Old indie rocker me has never had stage fright or insecurities, but working on solo stuff has completely changed what I practice. It’s very effective but awful to listen to - not much time spent playing or writing songs. And even my vocal practice is LOUD😆

[@michaeldawe6462]

Wow, this really resonated with me. Yesterday I had my first session in a practice room with a grand piano and it was so exhilarating. I felt so FREEEE. AS I’ve become older I’m more comfortable making mistakes because I understand thats part of the learning process. And sometimes the mistakes can teach you about new harmonies, but having tasted a practice room I will be treating myself to one more often in the future so I can let rip. Thanks for a great discussion.

[@rickyguitarman3839]

you're so lucky to have found the right person to share your life with, i had many relationships back in the day in college... but never found the right one for me. Be happy and keep happy Aimee!

[@thomascordery7951]

To me, the worst is practicing in the presence of people who aren't themselves serious about being musicians, or at least about being creative. It's like feeling you need to perform when all you want to do is practice and work on things that you're not good at yet and are perhaps feeling a bit vulnerable about. I've considered practicing long tones on my sax until everyone leaves the house, but that seems a bit cruel if not to say passive-aggressive!

[@TheLeon1032]

up to the age of 22 or 23 i loved people hearing me write music, something changed and for the last 20 years its been the opposite, flat mates sometimes used to come into my room after id been playing and writing a while n say that sounded good or sweet or they would say it sounds between this band and that band, often compliments, it drove me crazy and the guilt of being upset at them made me feel like a shity person, a dear friend passed away, when we were living together one night he asked if he could come in and listen to me write, i got upset at him and said no, ill never forget the look on his face as he left the room, i love you buddy I'm so so sorry Nick x This video is a massive help to me, its helping me process something that is stuck in me, i can't thank you enough, Leon

[@AimeeNolte]

I hope you can get some closure and peace about it. Thanks for your comment. ♥️

[@jegoy68]

I just can’t do practice, study or research whatever when I even see a person or even the awareness of the presence of someone in the room. Good thing I have a separate room away from the house. But sometimes, I get this kind of guilty feeling especially when I spend too much time away from my family. I know I shouldn’t feel that way…but I kinda try and feel what they might be feeling. I just try my best to make it up to them as much as I could. Sometimes I feel being a musician is both a gift and a curse…

[@mariainesnaranjo1232]

wow thank you for this! I am 33 and like about 4 years ago decided to play music again after 10 years, and been feeling so scared to share myself or to let anyone hear me . I thought I had stage fright but more and more I realize that I'm just having normal feelings all musicians have

[@mountainman4774]

Ah, Amy, so true. I have made some recordings, but I find I can’t do it when my wife is home. She loves my playing, and she loves my recordings, but just having her around makes it hard for me to find the right space to do my best recording work. It is just so darn personal. Hard to explain, but I know exactly what you mean. And BTW, this was one of the nicest KZbin videos I have seen in years. You are a lovely woman. John is a lucky man.

[@siciliostudios]

Love it! I consider this one of your best lessons and you never touched a key. I use many of your lessons! Your moondance lesson has actually helped me the most! Especially the one you played as a kid as you mentioned in that lesson. That lesson is a gold nugget as it was attainable for my limited skill set and I actually can play and sing to the verses and the bass line helps me with that. On a side note I also paint watercolors and pastels and one day last year I was working on a pastel then I would get up and play my piano right behind me so that I could get a fresh look at my pastel painting a few minutes later. There’s a good chance I was playing moondance as you taught me but as I looked down at my piano keys at the end of the evening there was different color pastel chalk all over my ivory keys! Tears ran down my cheek when I realized how lucky I was to be in my own little word. Not because I made a mess but because I made a mess on my piano. I almost didn’t want to wipe the pastels off the keys. In fact I was able to write, lyrically, a really good verse and chorus about pastels on my piano keys. Need to figure a good progression lol. Anyway painting is tough too because your work sits unfinished in plain view for months at a time and that can be painful sometimes until it takes shape! Thank you for all you do! ♥️

[@lippytrout]

It's really comforting to hear that I'm not the only one that feels vulnerable during practice... I just recently out a spotlight to this, and realized that it's one of the things that keeps me from practicing - somehow ESPECIALLY in college, I fear that other musicians will hear me practice, notice my failures and judge me. I'm learning to overcome these feelings of shame and trying to open up to more people - I haven't found my John yet, but I'm learning to add more self-compassion bit by bit. Thanks for sharing this message. Right on time!

[@tmaeer5446]

one of my favs this video - if only more x players had been encouraged

[@Submersoo]

Adoro seus vídeos. Que linda voz. Um abraço do Brasil

[@LexTalionis23]

I think that part of what you’re talking about has been one of my greatest barriers to learning and that is trust like total trust with my instructor to feel safe and like your heart almost is respected because the process comes from so many different things in your life as an artist. Some of that is very intimate, and some of that is important but not totally defining to a person so there’s always this I find risk of being misunderstood if you’re being completely honest even if you’re wrong that’s not to say that it isn’t true to you.

[@LexTalionis23]

By the way, I stumbled upon you via my favorite song by Donald Fagen: Maxine, which has been on my mind because I am also a hospice nurse and just lost a patient who was called Maxine by the family. I enjoyed your video on that and saw this one come up-which led me to subscribe because it resonates so much! Thank you for this.

[@AimeeNolte]

Thank you Mimi♥️ and I’m so sorry about your patient. You’re doing such important work.

[@steveincollins]

Having kids and being a stay at home dad has really helped me with this. They are always around and don't judge me even a little bit when I'm making ridiculous sounds with my guitar or playing the same thing over and over again. Nothing beats having the house to myself and sitting down to focus though. It really is a necessity and I'm lucky enough to have a wife and family that get that

[@JohnPaulRiger]

How genuine. I remember waiting for everybody to go bed to play softly. I remember the practice rooms at college. Still to this day I feel the same way and choose to go to head phones for my me time. I listened to this whole video and my wife overheard it. She asked me about it. I guess I never realized it until now. But yeah you’re right Ames. It’s true. I hate to bother folks…

[@sylviacantumusicalideas2468]

Yes!!!! This is EXACTLY the way I feel when I practice! The privacy is the BEST! Thx, for this video!

[@donschneider7953]

Yes, this is a rarely talked about, but ever so important and known-to-every-musician experience. Why should we feel like we need to hide our creative process away so that others can't hear us trying things that don't work on the path to finding what opens our heart and makes us go, "Yes. That's it. That's the sound I'm reaching for. That expresses what I'm feeling and wanting others to feel." In my case, it seems to be a form of self-consciousness about being judged as imperfect.

[@neilmoore1459]

Awesome topic…. I’m a drummer first but took some piano lessons years ago and also play a little bass occasionally. Remember years ago was learning stuck in the middle to sing and play bass for a gig and my daughter posted on social media that I kept playing the same thing over and over. 😀. I was trying to memorize the bass line so I could focus on singing, but since then have been even more self conscious when practicing or writing. Thanks for the video! Love your channel!

[@AndersRomin]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important topic! I can certainly recognize the struggle, and the need to overcome the self awareness when practicing out loud in the house. You’re lucky to have such an understanding partner!

[@adriennecherry6225]

Thank you Amy. I enjoyed this thoughtful exploration of practicing. Vulnerable is the perfect word to sum it up.

[@image30p]

Great video. Thank you for sharing about your husband. He sounds like a great person. I play guitar. I live in an apartment. My overhead neighbor is just awful. I can't play anything without her stomping on the floor, or she'll crank up the 3-note subwoofer song or someone will start smoking and the smoke comes into my place. I do not play loud. It's maybe conversation volume. Finger picking. Small guitar. Guild M-120. It really bothers me because I only have music and writing. I've put much more time into music. Seems like there has always been a critic. I have my electric running through headphones, but sometimes I would like to work with my acoustic in standard tuning. Particularly for singing and playing covers. Or just to work on theory ideas. It makes me wonder why I keep going. I guess I'm afraid to lose the 40 years I've invested. On the brighter side thank you again for sharing. You are such an amazing player and teacher. For you to share these feelings makes me feel at least I'm not alone. ❤

[@AimeeNolte]

Keep on keeping on, man

[@Photologistic]

I can also relate. My electronic keyboard I thought would help, but I also prefer the acoustic. In the summer, with every windows open, I feel like half the neighborhood can hear any mistakes. I try not to think about it, but that’s like saying, “don’t think of an elephant.”

[@PSTroise]

Interesting that you talked about playing but not singing. But you are spot on.

[@scotthorslin5482]

So true, so poignant. I Feel completely differently, when someone...anyone... is around, and hearing me practice. Definitely do my best work and practice during the private times.

[@kencory2476]

Yes. I had struggles during the pandemic to practice without feeling like I disturbed my wife as she worked from home. She says she doesn't mind, but that feeling doesn't sink in with me. I feel a little less vulnerable now that she is back at work two days a week. When my girls were still living at home, they tolerated my practicing, but funnily enough, they made fun of my practicing with headphones on. Weird. As I come back from the pandemic, I see myself practicing much more technique than pieces, just to keep it all together. I'm grateful for the chance to perform again in public for mobilizing me to practice songs again. Thank-you, Aimee, for being so charming and honest over all these years.

[@AimeeNolte]

And thanks for sticking around ♥️